Winter Wonderettes

PERUSAL SCRIPT
Licensed exclusively through
3845 Cazador Street

Los Angeles, CA 90065
www.steelespring.com
WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW 60S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL

Copyright 2003 by ROGER BEAN
All Rights Reserved
All performances and public readings of WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW 60S CHRISTMAS
MUSICAL are subject to royalties. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America,
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CHRISTMAS MUSICAL must first make application to Steele Spring Productions:
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Winter Wonderettes
by Roger Bean
premiered on November 7, 2003 at
Milwaukee Repertory Theater,
Joseph Hanreddy, Artistic Director,
Timothy J. Shields, Managing Director,
Sandy Ernst, Associate Artistic Director
Direction and Staging by Roger Bean
Vocal Arrangements by Brian Baker and Roger Bean
Musical Arrangements and Direction by Brian Baker
Choreography by Pam Kriger
Scenic Design by Vicki R. Davis
Costume Design by Tina Campbell
Lighting Design by Jason Fassl
Stage Managed by Kelly ORourke
Cast
Misty Cotton
Susannah Hall
Missy
Cindy Lou
Bets Malone
Suzy
Lucia Spina
Betty Jean
All contents of WINTER WONDERETTES is copyrighted and strictly protected

by law. No copies of the material may be made or performances played
without the express written permission of the licensor. Any infraction
will result in penalties to the full extent allowed by law.
WINTER WONDERETTES is licensed through:

STEELE SPRING PRODUCTIONS
3845 Cazador Street
Fax: (818) 232-9158
licensing@steelespring.com
www.steelespring.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Winter Wonderettes
page i
WINTER WONDERETTES
CHARACTERS
BETTY JEAN REYNOLDS: Betty Jean is the self-anointed clown of the group,
always vying for attention from her best friend Cindy Lou. She loves that she
is in finally in charge of the group, if only for this one performance. She
has worked at Harpers Hardware since High School and is now in Corporate
Sales, a fact shes very proud of. After a few tumultuous years, she married
her high-school boyfriend Johnny, who also used to work at Harpers Hardware.
We learn that they have recently separated for good. She has a strength that
belies her goofiness. This strength is what gives her empathy; she has no
poor me in her attitude. This pays off in her Act One closing song. Her hair
is red/auburn. (Strong Bass with big belt)
CINDY LOU HUFFINGTON: Cindy Lou is the bad girl of the group, now reformed
(to a point). She is sexy with a dry and sassy wit, and has a miles-high jetblack beehive, a cross between the Ronettes and early Priscilla Presley. She
has a tattoo on her right upper arm that reads Billy, her boyfriend who
passed away a few years back (from The Marvelous Wonderettes). Until that
time it seemed that things always went her way, making Betty Jean crazy. She
has an incredible soft side and inner depth, revealed in her Act Two monologue
and ballad. (Mezzo Soprano with belt - sings lead on many songs)
MISSY (MILLER) LEE: Always the over-achiever of the group, Missy has now
blossomed into a full-fledged adult over-achiever. She is an elementary school
teacher, wears horn-rimmed glasses, and her mousy-brown hair is curlier than
she quite knows how to manage. She has recently returned from her honeymoon
with her new husband Bill, an audience member. She controls the evenings
events, even when Betty Jean is in charge: Missy is the one to cover for
mistakes, and is always ready to jump in and save the day. She has an innersexiness (even slightly kinky) that comes out every once-in-a-while, much to
her surprise and embarrassment. She has been best friends with Suzy since
elementary school. (Soprano with belt floats very high vocals)
SUZY (SIMPSON) STEVENS: Suzy is happy-go-lucky, a little giddy, a little
silly, and just a little pregnant. Shes always willing to go along with
anyone and anything, and she seems to giggle at just about anything. She finds
great pleasure in everything she does; the sillier it is, the more fun she
finds it. Her pregnancy has brought out her attention-deficit disorder, and
she reverts to her childhood on the drop of a dime. She is married to Ritchie,
her high-school sweetheart, who is running the lights for the performance. Her
honey-blond hair is reminiscent of early Marlo Thomas/That Girl. Her best
friend is Missy. (Mezzo Alto with big belt.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
page ii
Winter Wonderettes
WINTER WONDERETTES
MUSICAL NUMBERS
ACT ONE
MISTER SANTA..................................................... Ensemble
ROCKIN CHRISTMAS MEDLEY
ROCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE .............. Betty Jean, Ensemble
JINGLE BELL ROCK ......................................Missy, Ensemble
LITTLE SAINT NICK ................................ Cindy Lou, Ensemble
A MARSHMALLOW WORLD ....................................Suzy, Ensemble
CHIPMUNK CHEER................................................... Ensemble
SNOWFALL ......................................................... Ensemble
THE MAN WITH THE BAG ............................................ Ensemble
CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD
ITS CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD ...................... Ensemble
DNDE EST SANTA CLAUS? .............................. .Suzy, Ensemble
MELE KALIKIMAKA....................................... Missy, Ensemble
O TANNENBAUM..................................... Betty Jean, Ensemble
WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO ................. Cindy Lou, Ensemble
SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN................................... Ensemble
CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST ANOTHER LONELY DAY......... Betty Jean, Ensemble
ACT TWO
RUN, RUDOLPH, RUN ............................................... Ensemble
SUZY SNOWFLAKE.............................................Suzy, Ensemble
THIS CHRISTMAS............................................Missy, Ensemble
ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHS.................................... Cindy Lou
BELLS MEDLEY
RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS............................Missy, Ensemble
SLEIGH RIDE .......................... Cindy Lou, Betty Jean, Ensemble
JINGLE BELLS............................................Suzy, Ensemble
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS EVE? ........................... Betty Jean
SANTA BABY ....................................................... Ensemble
WINTER WONDERLAND ........................... .................... Ensemble
Act One running time: approximately 45 minutes.
Act Two running time: approximately 40 minutes.
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Winter Wonderettes
page iii
WINTER WONDERETTES
Music Clearance by Rubicon II Music Clearance, Burbank, CA.

All Songs Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.
A Marshmallow World by Peter DeRose and Carl Sigman. Used by permission of Shapiro,
Bernstein & Co., Inc.
All Those Christmas Clichs by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. 1993 MB Music Corp.
(ASCAP), Pen and Perseverence (ASCAP) & Hillsdale Music Inc. (ASCAP). All rights on
behalf of Pen and Perseverence & Hillsdale Music Inc. administered by WB Music Corp.
(ASCAP)
Christmas Will Be Just Another Lonely Day by Lee Jackson and Patti Seymour. Used courtesy
of Ahab Music Company, Inc. (BMI)
Dnde Est Santa Claus? by Alvin Greiner, Rod Gordon Parker and George Scheck, Ragtime
Music Co.
Its Christmas Time All Over The World by Hugh Martin. 1965 (Renewed) Used courtesy of
Cromwell Music, Inc.
Jingle Bell Rock by Joe Beal and Jim Boothe. 1957 (Renewed) Chappell & Co., Inc. (ASCAP)
Jingle Bells by J. Pierpont. Arrangement 2003 Steele Spring Productions.
Little Saint Nick by Michael Love and Brian Wilson. 1963, 1991 Irving Music, Inc. (BMI)
The Man With The Bag by Dudley Brooks, Harold Stanley & Irving Taylor. Used by permission
of Morley Music Co.
Mele Kalikimaka by R. Alex Anderson. Used courtesy of Universal Music.
Mister Santa by F. D. Ballard. Used by permission of Edwin H. Morris & Company, a division
of MPL Communications, Inc.
O Tannenbaum German Traditional. Arrangement 2003 Steele Spring Productions.
Ring Those Christmas Bells by Marve Fisher and Gus Levene. 1952 (Renewed) Shawnee Press,
Inc. (ASCAP)
Rockin Around The Christmas Tree by Johnny Marks. 1958 (Renewed 1986) Used courtesy of
St. Nicholas Music Inc.
Run, Rudolph, Run by Johnny Marks and Marvin Brodie. Used courtesy of St. Nicholas Music
Inc.
Santa Baby by Joan Javits, Phil Springer and Tony Springer. Used courtesy of Tamir Music
Publishers. Administered by Alley Music Corporation and Trio Music Company, Inc.
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie. 1934 (Renewed) Haven
Gillespie Music and EMI Feist Catalog Inc.
Sleigh Ride by Mitchell Parish and Leroy Anderson. Used courtesy of EMI Mills Music, Inc.
Snowfall by Claude Thornhill and Ruth Thornhill. 1941 (Renewed) Chappell & Co. (ASCAP)
Suzy Snowflake by Roy C. Bennett and Sid Tepper. 1951 (Renewed) Chappell & Co., Inc.
(ASCAP)
This Christmas (Hang All The Mistletoe) by Donny Hathaway and Nadine McKinnor. Used
courtesy of BMG Songs, Inc. and Crystal Raisin Music (ASCAP).
(We Wanna See) Santa Do The Mambo by Fred Smith and Horace Webb. Used through the courtesy
of Regent Music Corp. (BMI)
What Are You Doing New Years Eve? by Frank Loesser. Used by permission of Frank Music
Corp.
Winter Wonderland by Bernard Felix and Dick Smith. 1934 (Renewed) WB Music Corp. (ASCAP)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
page iv
Winter Wonderettes
ACT ONE
MR. HARPER
Employees, friends and
hardware store and our
pomp and pleasure that
tonights festivities.
Christmas, 1968.
We are in Harpers Hardware, a large hardware
store on Main Street in Springfield. Between the
aisles of hardware supplies are two large gift
box panels (behind which are the Fireplace and
Christmas Tree). There is a hanging banner
reading Harpers Hardware Holiday Happening.
On each side of the stage is a gift package
unit. There are casters on each, and when rolled
together into the center, they connect and
create different levels for seating. Behind all
is a large cyc, changing colors and mood for
each musical number.
Betty Jean has worked at Harpers Hardware since
graduating from Springfield High School in 1958.
The four girls formed their singing group to
perform at their senior prom, reuniting for
their ten-year reunion earlier this year. Mr.
Harper placed Betty Jean in charge of this
years company Christmas party, and she gathered
the girls to create this Christmas Concert.
Audience members are referred to as employees
and their family members.
In the dark we hear an announcer:
(V.O.)
loved ones this is Mr. Harper. Welcome to my
1968 company Christmas party. It is with great
I now introduce the entertainment portion of
Please welcome The Marvelous Wonderettes!
Music to MISTER SANTA begins in the dark. Lights
up on BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY.
They are dressed in different styles and fabrics
of blue, accented with silver rhinestone
snowflakes of various sizes.
MISTER SANTA
ALL
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM (BUM)
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM
MISTER SANTA, BRING US SOME TOYS
BETTY JEAN
BRING US SOME TOYS
ALL
BRING MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL GIRLS AND BOYS.
BETTY JEAN
BRING US SOME TOYS
ALL
AND EVRY NIGHT WELL GO TO SLEEP SINGING
AND DREAM ABOUT THE PRESENTS YOULL BE BRINGING.
SANTA, PROMISE US PLEASE,
page 2
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN
JUST BRING THE TOYS
ALL
GIVE EVRY REINDEER A HUG AND A SQUEEZE.
WELL BE GOOD, AS GOOD CAN BE,
MISTER SANTA DONT FORGET ME.
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM (BUM)
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM
BETTY JEAN
MISTER SANTA, WEVE BEEN SO GOOD
WEVE WASHED THE DISHES AND DONE WHAT WE SHOULD
MADE UP THE BEDS AND SCRUBBED UP OUR TOESIES,
WEVE USED A KLEENEX WHEN WEVE
ALL
BLOWN OUR NOSEIES.
BETTY JEAN
SANTA,
CINDY LOU
SANTA,
SUZY
SANTA,
MISSY
SANTA,
BETTY JEAN
LOOK AT OUR EARS,
ALL
THEYRE CLEAN AS WHISTLES, WERE SHARPER THAN SHEARS
BETTY JEAN
NOW WEVE PUT YOU ON THE SPOT,
MISSY
ON THE SPOT,
ALL
MISTER SANTA BRING US A LOT.
(HO, HO, HO) HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO HO
HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!
HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO HO
HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!
SUZY
MISTER SANTA
RITCHIES VOICE (V.O.)
HO, HO, HO!
Ritchie (whos running the lights in the back of
the store) flashes the lights on Ho, Ho, Ho!
Suzy laughs and waves at him.
SUZY
Thats funny, Ritchie!
Winter Wonderettes
page 3
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Betty Jean and Missy are slightly flustered

while Cindy Lou sings on.
MISSY
Suzy pay attention!
ALL
BE AWFUL CAREFUL AND PLEASE DONT GET SICK
BETTY JEAN
OH, DONT GET SICK
ALL
PUT ON YOUR COAT WHEN BREEZES ARE BLOWIN,
AND WHEN YOU CROSS THE STREET LOOK WHERE YOURE GOIN.
BETTY JEAN
SANTA,
CINDY LOU
SANTA,
SUZY
RITCHIE,
MISSY
SANTA,
ALL
WE LOVE YOU SO (WE LOVE YOU SO)
WE HOPE YOU NEVER GET LOST IN THE SNOW
TAKE YOUR TIME WHEN YOU UNPACK,
MISSY
WHEN YOU UNPACK,
ALL
MISTER SANTA HURRY,
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
MISTER SANTA, PLEASE HURRY BACK!
BETTY JEAN
SANTA, DONT FORGET TO BRING ME LOTS AND LOTS OF TOYS!
Applause. THEY acknowledge the audience and
their reaction.
BETTY JEAN
Hi everyone! Welcome to Harpers Hardware Holiday Happening!
THEY all turn and gesture toward the banner.
SUZY
Or as I like to call it: Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!
Suzy giggles at herself and the others react.
BETTY JEAN
Most of you know me Im Betty Jean. Im up in corporate sales.
BETTY JEAN acknowledges the audience. SHEs very
proud of her position at Harpers Hardware.
CINDY LOU
Im Cindy Lou.
MISSY
I'm Missy.
SUZY
I'm Suzy.
page 4
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN
And we're
ALL
The Marvelous Wonderettes.
They strike their Wonderettes pose.
MISSY
But at this time of year, were the Winter Wonderettes.
They all mime falling snow, then strike the same
pose. There is a slight pause.
MISSY
Betty Jean youre in charge.
BETTY JEAN
Oh right! Whats next?
MISSY
Time to decorate
BETTY JEAN
Oh right! Time to decorate!
Music in.
During the following medley the girls pull out
various holiday decorations to turn the hardware
store into a winter wonderland.
ROCKIN CHRISTMAS MEDLEY

ROCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE
BETTY JEAN
AT HARPERS HARDWARE SHOP,
CINDY LOU brings mistletoe to BETTY JEAN.
MISTLETOE HUNG WHERE YOU CAN SEE
EVRY COUPLE TRIES TO STOP.
MISSY and SUZY turn one of the gift box panels
to reveal a mostly-decorated Christmas Tree.
ALL
ROCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE,
BETTY JEAN
LET THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT RING.
BETTY JEAN hangs the mistletoe center.
ALL
LATER WELL HAVE SOME PUMPKIN PIE
AND WELL DO SOME CAROLING.
CINDY LOU and MISSY string garland, SUZY gets a
small gift package and brings it center.
BETTY JEAN
YOU WILL GET A SENTIMENTAL FEELING WHEN YOU HEAR
VOICES SINGING:
BETTY JEAN lifts the lid of the box. CINDY LOU
and MISSY reach in to pull out two long strings
of silver tinsel garland. THEY string it up.
Winter Wonderettes
page 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL
LETS BE JOLLY, DECK
BETTY JEAN
THE HALLS WITH
ALL
BOUGHS OF HOLLY.
BETTY JEAN
HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY
ALL
EVRYONE DANCING MERRILY
IN THE NEW OLD FASHIONED WAY
BETTY JEAN
Missy!
Immediate segue
JINGLE-BELL ROCK
SUZY and BETTY JEAN turn the other gift box
panel to reveal the fireplace. CINDY LOU (who
seldom actually moves furniture) displays the
fireplace as it turns.
MISSY
JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL ROCK,
JINGLE BELLS SWING AND JINGLE BELLS RING.
SNOWIN AND BLOWIN UP BUSHELS OF FUN,
ALL
NOW THE JINGLE HOP HAS BEGUN.
MISSY sits on the hearth and passes out bells to
the girls: a Bell Wreath to BETTY JEAN, a Bell
Snowflake to CINDY LOU, and the Santa Bell to
SUZY.
MISSY
JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL ROCK,
JINGLE BELLS CHIME IN JINGLE-BELL TIME.
The others shake and ring their bells wildly.
DANCIN AND PRANCIN IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE
MISSY stops them.
IN THE FROSTY AIR
THEY now dance with their bells to hang on the
set, with the Santa Bell being placed on a
prominent pedestal on the mantle.
WHAT A BRIGHT TIME, ITS THE RIGHT TIME TO
ALL
ROCK THE NIGHT AWAY.
MISSY
JINGLE-BELL TIME IS A SWELL TIME
ALL
TO GO GLIDIN IN A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH
MISSY
GIDDY-YAP JINGLE HORSE, PICK UP YOUR FEET,
page 6
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL
JINGLE AROUND THE CLOCK.
MIX AND MINGLE IN A JINGLIN BEAT,
MISSY
THATS THE JINGLE-BELL ROCK.
Immediate segue
CINDY LOU taps MISSY on the shoulder, who
yields the stage to her.
LITTLE SAINT NICK

CINDY LOU
WELL, WAY UP NORTH WHERE THE AIR GETS COLD,
THERES A TALE ABOUT CHRISTMAS THAT YOUVE ALL BEEN TOLD
AND A REAL FAMOUS CAT ALL DRESSED UP IN RED,
AND HE SPENDS THE WHOLE YEAR WORKIN OUT ON HIS SLED
MISSY rings the Santa Bell, indicating Santas
entrance. BETTY JEAN brings out a Santa in a
Barbie convertible for the mantle.
MISSY rings the Santa Bell on each Little Saint
Nick, annoying CINDY LOU.
ITS THE LITTLE SAINT NICK
BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZY
OOH, LITTLE SAINT NICK
CINDY LOU
MISSY rings the bell again.
CINDY LOU
Whats with the ringing?
MISSY
Its the Santa bell. Remember we talked about this.
One final ring from MISSY; CINDY LOU angrily
cuts her off before turning back out to perform.
CINDY LOU
AND HAULIN THROUGH THE SNOW AT A FRIGHTNIN SPEED
WITH A HALF A DOZEN DEER
SUZY interrupts CINDY LOU, displaying a Rudolph
for the mantle.
SUZY
WITH RUDY TO LEAD
CINDY LOU
HES GOTTA WEAR HIS GOGGLES CAUSE THE SNOW REALLY FLIES
AND HES CRUISIN EVRY PAD WITH A LITTLE SURPRISE
CINDY LOU
Winter Wonderettes
page 7
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZY

THEY recreate a sled, with CINDY LOU on top, the
OTHERS as reindeer (SUZY in front with Rudolph).
ALL
RUN, RUN, REINDEER
RUN, RUN, REINDEER
WHOA,
RUN, RUN, REINDEER
RUN, RUN, REINDEER
SUZY
HE DONT MISS NO ONE
Immediate segue
A MARSHMALLOW WORLD
MISSY takes Rudolph from SUZY. CINDY LOU and
MISSY string twinkle light garlands. BETTY JEAN
gets a small stepladder and places it by the
tree.
SUZY
ITS A MARSHMALLOW WORLD IN THE WINTER
WHEN THE SNOW COMES TO COVER THE GROUND.
SUZY tosses snow confetti on the tree.
ITS THE TIME FOR PLAY; ITS A WHIPPED-CREAM DAY;
I WAIT FOR IT ALL YEAR ROUND.
ALL
THOSE ARE MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS BEING FRIENDLY
SUZY
IN THE ARMS OF THE EVERGREEN TREES,
AND THE SUN IS RED LIKE A PUMPKINS HEAD,
ALL
ITS SHINING SO YOUR NOSE WONT FREEZE.
BETTY JEAN helps MISSY up the stepladder to
place the tree-topper snowflake.
SUZY
THE WORLD IS YOUR SNOWBALL,
SEE HOW IT GROWS,
THATS HOW IT GOES
ALL
WHENEVER IT SNOWS.
Without looking back, SUZY throws snow at the
tree, dousing MISSY and BETTY JEAN.
SUZY
THE WORLD IS YOUR SNOWBALL JUST FOR A SONG,
GET OUT AND
ALL
ROLL IT ALONG.
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY bring out a
marshmallow and candy-cane garland to hang on
the tree as they sing back-up.
page 8
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
A YUM-YUMMY WORLD MADE FOR SWEETHEARTS,
A WALK WITH YOUR FAVORITE GIRL
A SUGAR DATE;
IF SPRING IS LATE;
ALL
IN WINTER, ITS A MARSHMALLOW WORLD.
SUZY
Hey girls!
Music break: SUZY passes out their Christmas
stockings, rolled up. In time to the music, they
reveal them all at once. Each displays the
girls unique personalities. MISSY gathers them
and hangs them on the mantle.
BETTY JEAN
YOU WILL GET A SENTIMENTAL FEELING WHEN YOU HEAR
VOICES SINGING:
ALL
LETS BE JOLLY, DECK
SUZY and CINDY LOU reveal signs to hang in the
store. One reads: COOL HOLIDAY SAVINGS BEGIN AT
HARPERS ON DEC. 26; the other reads: ALL XMAS
ITEMS 1/2 OFF!
BETTY JEAN
THE HALLS WITH
ALL
BOUGHS OF HOLLY.
BETTY JEAN
HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY
THEY all gather center.
CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY
HOLIDAY
ALL
EVRYONE DANCING MERRILY
CINDY LOU
SUZY
ITS A MARSHMALLOW WORLD
SUZY and CINDY LOU run to the sides to bring on
large extension cords, one end with a big master
box.
MISSY (WITH BELOW)
THATS THE JINGLE BELL,
THATS THE JINGLE BELL,
THATS THE JINGLE BELL ROCK
CINDY LOU, BETTY JEAN & SUZY (WITH ABOVE)
IN THE NEW OLD FASHIONED WAY
ALL
Lights!
ITS
TAKE
ITS
WHAT
Winter Wonderettes
page 9
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN plugs the lights into the extension

cord; on the final button of the song the
Christmas lights all come on as the girls pose.
(The tree should have Charlie Brown lights, as
well as all of the strings of garland.)
Applause.
SUZY
Oh my golly its all so pretty!
BETTY JEAN
The guys in the lumber department helped put this together for us.
Doesnt it look great?
MISSY
Thanks a lot everyone.
MISSY leads applause for everyone.
Betty Jean?
BETTY JEAN
Oh right! Im in charge.
SHE exchanges glances with CINDY LOU.
Lets see. I already welcomed you to the annual Harpers Hardware
Holiday Happening!
THEY all turn and quickly gesture back to the
banner.
SUZY
Or as I like to call it,
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY
Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho.
SUZY
Hey!
BETTY JEAN
Im sure I told most of you about our singing group.
MISSY
Interrupting.
The Winter Wonderettes.
MISSY mimes snow and poses by herself.
BETTY JEAN
Well Ive been bugging Mr. Harper every day since we had our reunion
concert last spring. He finally decided to have us appear as tonights
entertainment. This is Missy
MISSY
Showing off HER wedding ring.
Recently happily married!
SHE points to a gentleman in the audience, who
is now her husband BILL for the rest of the
performance.
MISSY mouths the following to BILL.
I love you Bill.
ALL of the girls acknowledge him. MISSY shares
moments with BILL throughout the show.
SUZY
Missy and Bill just got back from their honeymoon trip Around the
world!
page 10
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY illustrates around the world with a large

arc of her hand, a gesture SHE repeats later
whenever SHE repeats the phrase.
CINDY LOU
Ill bet he sent you around the world
MISSY
Oh stop.
MISSY throws BILL a kiss.
SUZY
And Missy made our dresses. Arent they sparkly?
THEY turn and model their dresses.
MISSY
Buttericks Winter Wear Collection.
SUZY
I wanted us to wear blue in honor of our friends of the Jewish
persuasion.
SHE looks proudly to the others.
Happy Hanukah!
ALL
Happy Hanukah!
BETTY JEAN
And this is Suzy.
CINDY LOU
Shes pregnant.
BETTY JEAN
Again.
CINDY LOU
She just had the twins in June.
SUZY giggles maniacally.
SUZY
I havent slept in six months.
CINDY LOU
And the man responsible Ritchie hes running the lights.
SUZY
Were hoping for a little Ritchie Jr. this time. Isnt that right,
Ritchie honey?!
RITCHIE flashes the lights in response.
He can set up and take down all the lights in here but he cant fix the
garbage disposal.
The lights go out.
Ritchie!
The lights come back on.
Sorry.
BETTY JEAN
This is my best friend in the world, Cindy Lou.
CINDY LOU
And despite what you may read,
SHE covers the tattoo on her arm.
Im single.
Winter Wonderettes
page 11
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN
I told you we can fix that. Theres Stan in the accounting department,
theres Steve in electrical fixtures, and theres always Bob in
Plumbing.
CINDY LOU
Oooh lets see: an accountant, an electrician, and a plumber. These
are my choices?
BETTY JEAN
Have it your way. But just so you know what youre missing thats Bob
in plumbing right there.
BETTY JEAN points to a handsome young man in the
audience. CINDY LOU reacts sexily toward him.
CINDY LOU
Hello Bob
SUZY
Youre in plumbing Ill bet you can fix a garbage disposal.
The lights go out.
Ritchie!!
The lights come back on.
SUZY mouths and mimes Ill call you to Bob.
CINDY LOU
And of course you all know Betty Jean. Shes in Corporate Sales.
BETTY JEAN reacts to the crowd.
And I think you all know her husband, Johnny. He used to work in raw
lumber. And where is Johnny tonight?
BETTY JEAN
Privately to CINDY LOU.
I told you that subject was off limits tonight, end of discussion.
Uncomfortable nervous laughter from SUZY and
MISSY as BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU square off for
a moment. BETTY JEAN recovers simply.
Im sure most of you were at the Springfield High School Pigskin Classic
Homecoming game last month. Go Chipmunks!
ALL
Go Chipmunks!
MISSY
Chipmunks 3, Muskrats 0.
SUZY
We clobbered the pants off em.
ALL
Go Chipmunks!
THEY all jump up and down, then make chipmunk
faces to the audience.
BETTY JEAN
Back in the day the four of us were the Song Leaders at every home game.
CINDY LOU
Not like the cheerleaders they have now.
THEY all agree.
page 12
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY
Cmon lets do the Chipmunk Cheer for old times sake.
CINDY LOU
Do ya think?
ALL
Go Chipmunks!
SUZY gets a pitch-pipe and THEY gather down
front. SUZY blows two notes together. When THEY
sing THEY start on a completely different note.
CHIPMUNK CHEER
SUZY
Ready?
ALL
Okay!
CHIPMUNK, CHIPMUNK, FLIP YOUR LITTLE TAIL
CHIPMUNK PRIDE WILL NEVER EVER FAIL
WERE THE TEAM YOU WONT DEFEAT
WERE THE RODENTS YOU CANT BEAT
CHIPMUNK, CHIPMUNK, FLIP YOUR LITTLE TAIL
THEY do a vocal drum roll.
MISSY
WELL CLIMB YOUR TREE
SUZY
WELL PICK YOUR NUTS
CINDY LOU
WERE HERE TO SAY
BETTY JEAN
WELL KICK YOUR BUTTS!
ALL
GOOOOOOO - - - - CHIPMUNKS!
THEY all jump and cheer, then make chipmunk
faces once again.
BETTY JEAN
Whats next?
SUZY
Is it time for the Elf?
MISSY
No. Its the special dedication. Suzy?
SUZY
Last weekend Ritchie came in with all the guys in lumber and they put
together this terrific set for us.
MISSY
Thanks again you guys!
MISSY applauds again.
SUZY
And as you all know, last weekend was our first huge snowstorm. The guys
were trapped here all night. So Ritchie had them make us something
special. Watch this!
Winter Wonderettes
page 13
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY gestures and MISSY and BETTY JEAN roll the

two side gift package units into the center,
where they connect to create one large unit.
MISSY
Thanks again you guys.
MISSY is moved to tears. SUZY comforts her.
SUZY
The first day of snow is always the most specialest. You guys were stuck
in here with no windows and you couldnt see how wonderful it was
outside. So wed like to dedicate this next song to you. Ritchie?
The lights change as the music comes in. THEY
all sit on various levels of the gift packages.
Throughout the following number the cyc lights
swirl softly and lightly behind them, while
twinkle lights twinkle softly on and off,
creating an effect of falling snow.
SNOWFALL
ALL
OOOHH,
SNOWFALL, SOFTLY,
GENTLY DRIFT DOWN
SNOWFLAKES WHISPER
CINDY LOU & MISSY
NEATH MY
BETTY JEAN & SUZY
NEATH MY
ALL
WINDOW
BETTY JEAN
COVRING TREES
CINDY LOU
MISTY LIGHT
ALL
VELVET BREEZES
ROUND MY DOORSTEP
GENTLY, SOFTLY,
SILENT SNOWFALL, SNOWFALL
SUZY
COVRING TREES
MISSY
MISTY LIGHT
ALL
VELVET BREEZES
ROUND MY DOORSTEP
OH, GENTLY, AND SOFTLY,
SILENT SNOWFALL
SNOWFALL, SNOWFALL
Applause.
page 14
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
And watch this: they even work in reverse.
SUZY signals as MISSY and BETTY JEAN return the
gift box units to their original positions.
MISSY
Thanks again you guys.
MISSY applauds them once again.
Betty Jean
BETTY JEAN
Whats next?
SUZY
MISSY
No, not the Elf. Its time for Santa.
SUZY
Overly excited.
Its time for Santa!
SUZY runs to get the Santa Bell from the mantle.
MISSY and CINDY LOU move Santas Chair to the
side of the stage, ready to make its entrance.
This is similar to the classic Santa Chair seen
in most department stores, perhaps smaller for
sight lines when the girls are behind it. It is
on a platform with casters.
BETTY JEAN
Oh right! Some of you newer employees may be wondering where Mr. Harper
is. Well he does this every year. We never see him during dinner, but
soon well get a special visit from a Jolly Old Soul with the Bonus
Envelopes!
SUZY rings the Santa Bell.
SUZY
Oh Santa!
Music in.
MISSY
Suzy!
MISSY pushes SUZY front for her solo, taking the
Santa Bell and placing it back on the mantle.
THE MAN WITH THE BAG

SUZY
OLD MR. KRINGLE IS SOON GONNA JINGLE
THE BELLS THATLL TINGLE ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY
ALL
EVERYBODYS WAITING FOR THE MAN WITH THE BAG
SUZY
CAUSE CHRISTMAS IS COMIN AGAIN
HES GOT A SLEIGHFUL, ITS NOT GONNA STAY FULL,
HES GOT STUFF TO DROP AT EVRY STOP OF THE WAY
ALL
Winter Wonderettes
page 15
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
CAUSE CHRISTMAS IS COMIN AGAIN
ALL
HELL BE HERE
WITH THE ANSWERS TO THE PRAYERS
THAT YOUVE MADE THROUGH THE YEAR
SUZY
To BETTY JEAN.
YOULL GET YOURS
To BETTY JEAN.
IF YOUVE DONE EVRYTHING YOU SHOULD,
EXTRA-SPECIAL GOOD
BETTY JEAN reacts positively.
SUZY
HELL MAKE THIS DECEMBER THE ONE YOULL REMEMBER
THE BEST AND THE MERRIEST YOU EVER DID HAVE
ALL
CHRISTMAS IS HERE AGAIN
Dance break. THEY dance exuberantly, talking
excitedly throughout.
MISSY
OLD MR. KRINGLE IS SOON GONNA JINGLE
THE BELLS THATLL TINGLE ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY
ALL
MISSY
CINDY LOU
HES GOT A SLEIGHFUL, AND ITS NOT GONNA STAY FULL,
HES GOT STUFF HES DROPPIN EVRY STOP OF THE WAY
ALL
CINDY LOU
ALL
HELL BE HERE
WITH THE ANSWERS TO THE PRAYERS
THAT YOUVE MADE THROUGH THE YEAR
BETTY JEAN
Gesturing to the audience.
WELL ALL GET OUR BONUSES
To BETTY JEAN.
IF YOUVE DONE EVRYTHING YOU SHOULD,
BETTY JEAN
HA! EXTRA-SPECIAL GOOD
HELL MAKE THIS DECEMBER THE ONE ILL REMEMBER
page 16
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

THE BEST AND THE MERRIEST I EVER DID HAVE
SUZY has gotten the Santa Bell.
SUZY
EVRYBODYS WAITIN,
WERE ALL WAITIN,
SUZY
THEYRE ALL CONGREGATIN
RIGHT HERE!
SUZY
WAITIN FOR THE
ALL
MAN WITH THE BAG
SUZY
Heres Santa!
THEY all gesture off-stage for Santas entrance.
Nothing happens. After a few moments MISSY
indicates to try it one more time. SUZY rings
the Santa Bell again.
Heres Santa!
THEY repeat the same gesture. Nothing. SUZY
rings the Santa Bell repeatedly as MISSY crosses
to her.
CINDY LOU
How long does it take to put on a fat suit?
MISSY
Covering SUZYs ears.
Sshhh!
SUZY
I know hes not real.
SUZY holds up her crossed fingers.
BETTY JEAN
Ill get him. Mr. Harper!!
BETTY JEAN runs offstage to look for Santa.
CINDY LOU
So now what?
SUZY
Is it time for the Elf?!
MISSY
No, not the Elf.
Then out to the audience.
Apparently, Santa is still busy in his workshop creating wonderful gifts
for good little girls and boys.
CINDY LOU
With derision.
Oh boy
Winter Wonderettes
page 17
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY shoots her a murderous look. She repeats

the line happily and excitedly.
CINDY LOU (CONTD)
Oh boy!!
MISSY
So while were waiting for Santa to arrive, I think we should go on a
special Christmas Trip Around the World.
SUZY
Repeating the gesture from earlier.
Around the world.
MISSY gets her travel bag, in which shes placed
some of the props for the next section.
CINDY LOU
Betty Jean!
BETTY JEAN
Entering.
I cant find him anywhere.
CINDY LOU
Its okay. Were going around the world.
SUZY
Around the world.
MISSY
Oh! I need the visual aid.
SUZY
Ill get it. Were going around the world.
SUZY runs off to get the easel.
BETTY JEAN
I hope you remember what I told you about my song
MISSY
Its okay itll be just fine. In this special tribute to Christmas
Around the World
SUZY has returned with the easel: a selfcontained triangle easel, with cards that flip
from front to back. The top card reads:
CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD. SHE places the
easel on top of the side gift box unit.
SUZY
Around the world.
MISSY
all of the items well use are from the many wonderful places that Bill
took me on our honeymoon.
Music in as MISSY mouths again:
I Love you Bill.
MISSY hurriedly hands out sets of three large
index cards to each of the girls. On the front
of each card is the name of the language they
sing; on the back the phrase (if needed).
CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD
page 18
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM
MISSY
ITS CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD
AND CHRISTMAS HERE AT HOME
THE CHURCH BELLS CHIME WHEREVER WE ROAM
Missy points to each as they reveal their cards.
BETTY JEAN
SO JOYEUX NOL,
CINDY LOU
FELIZ NATAL,
SUZY
Mangling the word.
GELLUKKIG KERSTFEEST
CINDY LOU
Gesundheit.
ALL
TO YOU!
MISSY
THE SNOW IS THICK IN MOST OF THE WORLD
AND CHILDRENS EYES ARE WIDE
AS OLD SAINT NICK GETS READY TO RIDE
BETTY JEAN
SO FELIZ NAVIDAD,
CINDY LOU
CRCIUN FERICIT,
SUZY
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
CINDY LOU
L Chaim!
ALL
TO YOU!
MISSY
THOUGH THE CUSTOMS MAY CHANGE,
SUZY
AND THE LANGUAGE IS STRANGE,
BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOU
THIS APPEAL WE FEEL IS REAL
ALL
IN HOLLAND OR HONG KONG.
MISSY
ITS CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD
IN PLACES NEAR AND FAR
AND SO, MY FRIENDS, WHEREVER YOU ARE,
BETTY JEAN
A FRHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN!
Winter Wonderettes
page 19
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU
KALA CHRISTOUGENA!
SUZY
YOI KURISUMASU!
MISSY
WHICH MEANS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
ALL
TO YOU!
THEY form a pinwheel for the final measures.
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,
BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM!
Applause segue.
CINDY LOU crosses to the easel. With a
Tinkerbell sound cue, she flips the next card
to reveal: MEXICO. The music for the song
follows immediately after the sound cue. ALL get
castanets, palming them until theyre used.
BETTY JEAN turns the Santa Chair backwards, and
SUZY sits on her knees, peering over the back.
SHE holds a Mexican blanket.
DNDE EST SANTA CLAUS?

SUZY
MAMA SITA, DNDE EST SANTA CLAUS?
AND THE TOYS THAT HE WILL BRRRRRING?
SUZY breaks and smiles. Throughout the song SHE
finds places to break from her acting of the
song and revel in what SHEs doing.
WHERE CAN HE BE?
SUZY
MAMA SITA,
OH, MAMA, DEAR
SUZY
OH, WHERE, OH, WHERE?
SUZY
OH, WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?
IS SANTA NEAR?
ALL
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE.
SUZY
I KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE STILL SLEEPING
BUT MAYBE HES NOT FAR AWAY.
FAR AWAY
page 20
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
SO OUT OF THE WINDOW IM PEEPING
YOU ARE PEEPING
HOPE ILL SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH
SUZY
HOPING TO SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH.
I HOPE HE WONT FORGET
TO CRACK HIS CASTANET
THEY reveal and crack their castanets.
AND TO HIS REINDEER SAY:
SUZY
ON PANCHO,
MISSY
ON VIXEN,
BETTY JEAN
ON, PEDRO,
CINDY LOU
ON BLITZEN,
SUZY
OL, OL, OL!
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY (W/ABOVE)
OL, OL, SANTA CLAUS!
SUZY
OH WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?
ALL
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE.
In the following, there are positively un-PC
pronunciations of Spanish words.
JOU KNOW THAT JOU SHOULD BE STILL SLEEPING
SUZY
BUT MAYBE HES NOT FAR AWAY.
SO OUT OF THE WINDOW YOURE PEEPING
SUZY
JES, IM PEEPING
IM HOPING TO SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH.
IN HIS SLEIGH
SUZY
I HOPE HE WONT FORGET
TO CRACK HIS CASTANET
ALL
AND TO HIS REINDEER SAY:
ON PANCHO,
ON VIXEN,
Winter Wonderettes
page 21
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL (CONTD)
ON, PEDRO,
ON BLITZEN,
SUZY
OL, OL, OL!
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY (W/ABOVE)
OL, OL, SANTA CLAUS!
SUZY
OH WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?
Each of the following lines gets softer and
softer as they move SUZY back to her bed
(chair). The final Ol should be whispered as
SUZY falls asleep.
ALL
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE.
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE.
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE.
OL!
SUZY smiles on the button. Applause.
SUZY
Gracias.
The Tinkerbell sound cue again signals CINDY
LOU, who reveals the next card on the easel:
HAWAII. MISSY puts on a lei and smaller wrist
leis, and places three extra leis on her arm.
MISSY sits atop the top gift box on the opposite
side unit, BETTY JEAN stands behind, and CINDY
LOU and SUZY sit at each side on the bottom
level. The girls, led by MISSY, all do modified
hula hands during the song. They are somehow
reminiscent of a combination of hula and sign
language, which MISSY has obviously taught in
school.
MELE KALIKIMAKA
MISSY
Aloha!
MELE KALIKIMAKA IS THE THING TO SAY
ON A BRIGHT HAWAIIAN CHRISTMAS DAY
MISSY places leis on the others.
ALL
THATS THE ISLAND GREETING THAT WE SEND TO YOU
MISSY
FROM THE LAND WHERE PALM TREES SWAY
SUZY and CINDY LOU move the gift package unit
center, using their feet to push and pull. It
looks like floating as THEY all use hula hands
to move toward the center.
HERE WE KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS WILL BE
ALL
GREEN AND BRIGHT
page 22
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY
THE SUN TO SHINE BY DAY, AND ALL THE
ALL
STARS AT NIGHT
MISSY
MELE KALIKIMAKA IS
ALL
HAWAIIS WAY
TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU
To the music beats, BETTY JEAN passes Ukuleles
to SUZY and CINDY LOU (from underneath the gift
box float). BETTY JEAN gets her own Ukulele,
which doesnt actually play: its a trick
Ukulele rigged to hinge in half at the base of
the neck.
CINDY LOU and SUZY proudly display their
Ukuleles and strum through the first half of the
music break. MISSY is extremely proud of them,
and soon begins her own solo Hula Dance. Halfway
through, BETTY JEAN yelps as her Ukulele breaks
in two. MISSY is thrown, and tries to cover,
telling BETTY JEAN to fix it. After MISSY turns
back front to dance, BETTY JEAN trades her
Ukulele for a harmonica. SHE stands center on
the gift box float as she ruins MISSYS dance
solo, ending with a harmonious flourish from Oh
Susannah. MISSY turns to argue with BETTY JEAN,
who sits center on the float just in time for
MISSY to turn and finish the song. MISSY hulas
back and forth, with the girls moving the float
behind her, using their Ukuleles as paddles.
MISSY
HERE WE KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS WILL BE
ALL
GREEN AND BRIGHT
MISSY
THE SUN TO SHINE BY DAY, AND ALL THE
ALL
STARS AT NIGHT
MISSY
MELE KALIKIMAKA IS
ALL
HAWAIIS WAY
TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS
MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU and SUZY play the nose
harp for the final chord before posing for the
button. Applause.
MISSY
Mahalo. Mahalo very much.
Winter Wonderettes
page 23
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY goes to BETTY JEAN just as BETTY JEAN is

about to blow on her harmonica. MISSY holds out
her hand.
BETTY JEAN
Missy
MISSY clears her throat and BETTY JEAN gives her
the harmonica.
CINDY LOU reveals the next card accompanied by
the Tinkerbell sound cue: GERMANY.
BETTY JEAN
I told you I didnt want to do this song!
Music in as MISSY passes out choir books.
MISSY
Sshhh!
O TANNENBAUM
THEY all hold up their choir books to sing.
ALL
O CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREE
A TREE SO FAIR AND FAITHFUL
THEY all turn rigidly to a right angle.
TO YOU WE ARE SO GRATEFUL
BETTY JEAN turns LEFT. MISSY signals with her
eyes to turn back.
YOUR BOUGHS ARE GREEN IN SUMMERS GLOW
Just as BETTY JEAN makes it back angled right,
the others all turn and angle left. BETTY JEAN
tries to correct herself.
AND DO NOT FADE IN WINTERS SNOW
And just as SHE does, THEY all turn facing front
again. SHE gives up and turns out.
ALL
A TREE SO FAIR AND LOVELY
CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY all step back. BETTY
JEAN realizes shes front and center alone and
steps back with them. MISSY pushes a protesting
BETTY JEAN out for the solo line.
BETTY JEAN
O TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM,
WIE TREU SIND DEINE BLTTER
SHE does a small curtsey and returns to the line
with the others.
MISSY
Theres more
MISSY pushes her back out. BETTY JEAN overenunciates the rest of the song.
BETTY JEAN
DU GRNST NICHT NUR ZUR SOMMERZEIT,
page 24
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------The other start giggling behind her, finally

guffawing and holding the choir books up over
their faces. BETTY JEAN stays facing front.
BETTY JEAN (CONTD)
NEIN AUCH IM WINTER WENN ES SCHNEIT
O TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM,
BETTY JEAN turns on the oohs, trying to catch
them laughing. THEY hold their choir books back
down with straight faces.
ALL
OOH
Applause. THEY pass their choir books down to
MISSY.
BETTY JEAN
Danke.
The following three responses to BETTY JEAN are
dovetailed one on top of the other.
CINDY LOU
I thought your German was very distinct.
SUZY
It was very pretty.
MISSY
Yes, it was very well-enunciated.
BETTY JEAN
To MISSY.
What did I ever do to you?
MISSY picks up the harmonica and blows a series
of notes at BETTY JEAN. SHE holds it up
accusingly and crosses away.
CINDY LOU
Its alright B.J. Let me show you how its done.
Music in. CINDY LOU dances toward the easel,
revealing the next card (THE CARIBBEAN) with a
bump and a vocal:
Huh!
WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO

CINDY LOU
I WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBO
SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBO
MAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.
ALL
WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBO
MAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.
Winter Wonderettes
page 25
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU
YOU DONT HAVE TO BRING ME A GOSH-DARN THING
BUT B.J. REALLY NEEDS SOME JOY
MISSY DOESNT NEED A DIAMOND RING
AND SUZY JUST WANTS A BOY
ALL
MAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.
CINDY LOU
I LIKE YOUR TUMMY THATS BIG AND ROUND
YOUR KISSES HAVE GOT AROUND
JUST WANNA SEE YOU MAMBO
AND I HOPE YOU WONT LET US DOWN
ALL
MAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.
BETTY JEAN, MISSY and SUZY get maracas. During
the following CINDY LOU mambos, a bit too
suggestively toward BOB.
CINDY LOU
THE MAMBO!
THE MAMBO!
HI BOB!
BETTY JEAN rushes down with her maracas,
mimicking CINDY LOU. It turns into a grotesquely
sexy Mambo war
BETTY JEAN
HI BOB!
CINDY LOU
THE MAMBO!
THE MAMBO!
BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU are now spoiling for a
fight. They begin bickering (You wanna take
this outside? etc.) as MISSY and SUZY rush down
in between them to stop the fight from
escalating. MISSY brings maracas to CINDY LOU.
MISSY & SUZY
HEY!
WE WANNA SEE
ALL
SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBO
MAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.
page 26
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL (CONTD)
MAMBO
MAMBO
MAMBO
CINDY LOU
I WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO
Huh!
Applause. CINDY LOU takes the applause as the
others pass in their maracas. SHE then turns
accusingly to BETTY JEAN.
CINDY LOU
A little childish, do you think?
BETTY JEAN
A little embarrassing, do you think?
BETTY JEAN mimics CINDY LOU toward BOB.
Hi Bob!
CINDY LOU
Maybe if youd done that for Johnny once in a while
SHE turns and retreats after throwing her barb.
BETTY JEAN
Exploding.
Hey! You leave Johnny out of this!
BETTY JEAN turns on MISSY.
And why does she always get the sexy song while I get the dorky one?
CINDY LOU cuts her off. (The first part of the
song is a capella.)
SEE
SEE
THE
THE
THE
SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN

CINDY LOU
Hey!
YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT,
BETTY JEAN protests, CINDY LOU cuts her off.
YOU BETTER NOT CRY,
CINDY LOU sings the word Cry, and MISSY and
SUZY get it.
MISSY & SUZY
Oooh!
BETTY JEAN protests once again, stopped
fervently by CINDY LOU.
CINDY LOU
YOU BETTER NOT POUT, IM
CINDY LOU riffs and wails on the word Im.
SUZY
Wow!
CINDY LOU
TELLING YOU WHY
Music in with percussive pickup.
Winter Wonderettes
page 27
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY

CINDY LOU
HES MAKING A LIST, HES CHECKING IT TWICE
HES GONNA FIND OUT WHOS NAUGHTY OR NICE
ALL
CINDY LOU
HE SEES WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING
HE KNOWS WHEN YOURE AWAKE
HE KNOWS IF YOUVE BEEN BAD OR GOOD
SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
BETTY JEAN
OH! I BETTER WATCH OUT,
Out!
BETTY JEAN
I BETTER NOT CRY,
Cry!
BETTY JEAN
I BETTER NOT POUT,
WERE TELLING YOU WHY
ALL
CINDY LOU
Here we go!
BETTY JEAN
Hes comin!
ALL
THEY pull out the Santa Chair, and present
offstage for Santas entrance as before.
SUZY
Heres Santa!
No Santa. They look to each other in frantic
confusion.
BETTY JEAN
Where is he?
page 28
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU
Now what?
MISSY
Try again!
Music in for SANTA CLAUS reprise.
MISSY
Turns!
SANTA
SANTA
SANTA
YEAH!
SANTA
SANTA
SANTA
ALL
CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN
SUZY
Heres Santa!
THEY gesture again with same result. SUZY rings
the bell as hard as possible and shouts off:
Heres Santa!!!!
BETTY JEAN
Oh for Petes sake!
BETTY JEAN rushes off. CINDY LOU moves the Santa
Chair back.
SUZY
Oh my golly. Im having dj vus all over again.
CINDY LOU
So now what do we do?
SUZY
MISSY has nothing left in her entertainment
arsenal. SHE must finally relent to the Elf.
MISSY
Now its time for the Elf!
SUZY is elated beyond words.
SUZY
Okay everyone! Its time to find the Elf! You have to find the Elf!
Theres this Elf and you have to find him!
SHE continues until CINDY LOU calms her down.
CINDY LOU
Suzy, settle down.
MISSY
One of the Christmas traditions Suzys Mother and father had was the
hiding of the Elf
CINDY LOU
Well that certainly sounds dirty.
Take to CINDY LOU.
Winter Wonderettes
page 29
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
Oh no it was fun!
MISSY
Every Christmas Eve her Mother and Father would hide a little stuffed
Elf somewhere in their house. Whoever found it first would get a special
gift. Tonight
SUZY
I hid the Elf! I hid the Elf! I hid it!
MISSY
Suzy has hidden an Elf somewhere in here.
MISSY gestures all around as the house lights
come up.
So now its time to play
Find the Elf!
SUZY
This is real! You gotta find the Elf!
THEY urge the audience to look for the Elf.
Look on the floor, look on a shelf, who will find the magic Elf?
THEY should all speak to audience members
throughout, stopping for the following lines:
CINDY LOU
Suzy, we need a hint.
SUZY
Okay: Look high!
More time for looking.
CINDY LOU
Suzy, we need another hint.
SUZY
Okay: Look low!
More time for looking.
Look in someones purse
MISSY
Suzy, we cant find it anywhere. What does it look like?
SUZY gets the Elf from her Christmas stocking.
SHE holds it up.
SUZY
It looks like this.
THEY ALL gasp at the same time.
Close your eyes!!!!
Close your eyes, everyone! Etc.
THEY repeat this as SUZY goes out and finds
someone who has their eyes closed. SHE throws
the Elf under their feet.
Find the Elf! Find the Elf!
Ad-libs all around. When someone holds up the
Elf:
You found the Elf! You found the Elf! You get a prize!
page 30
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY
Congratulations. Because of your amazing abilities at elf-finding
A host/usher/server moves down to this person
with their prize.
Your prize is a piece of Mrs. Harpers special Chocolate Truffle Torte!
SUZY
Hand over the Elf! Hand over the Elf!
The Torte is given to the winner. The girls
gather around SUZY.
Doesnt that look delicious? Lets watch him eat it!
MISSY
No, no, no. You enjoy your special prize, and thank you all for playing:
Find the Elf!
The house lights fade out.
SUZY
Oh I think that went well.
MISSY and CINDY LOU react.
MISSY
Now lets see if Santa is ready to make his appearance.
SUZY gets the Santa Bell as MISSY and CINDY LOU
cross their fingers. SUZY rings the bell.
Heres Santa!
THEY gesture as before. BETTY JEAN runs on.
CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY groan.
BETTY JEAN
I cant find him. But I did find the Christmas Bonus Envelopes!
SHE holds them up in triumph. They are packs of
envelopes tied together with a red velvet
ribbon, with a green piece of paper on top.
CINDY LOU
B.J.
BETTY JEAN
Oh shh.
SHE opens the ribbon and reads from the colored
paper.
Dont you dare, underlined, underlined, pass these out until Santa
arrives. Well Santa has left the building.
SHE tosses the green paper aside.
MISSY
Betty Jean Reynolds! You cant
BETTY JEAN
Oh, Im practically the Vice President of the company. I think Im
allowed.
SHE starts going through them.
Not mine, not mine, not mine, not Oh here you go, Bob.
SHE gives one to BOB down front.
Girls, help pass these out
Winter Wonderettes
page 31
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------House lights up as CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY help

get these passed out to audience members. BETTY
JEAN passes some out to the front rows. THEY
instruct everyone not to open them yet.
BETTY JEAN (CONTD)
Now nobody open them yet.
These envelopes all contain pink slips. On one
side it should read in big bold letters: YOURE
FIRED! On the back, list whatever works for the
theater: intermission specials, discount tickets
for return visits, desserts, etc.
CINDY LOU watches the girls, and signals to
BETTY JEAN when everyone has finished.
Hey who has mine?!
CINDY LOU
Here it is! Ive got it!
THEY return to the stage. House lights remain
up. CINDY LOU hands the envelope to BETTY JEAN.
Well open it! Lets see how much we got.
A small take from BETTY JEAN.
You got.
BETTY JEAN
Ooh Im so nervous.
SUZY
Wow its just like Christmas.
THEY look at SUZY.
BETTY JEAN
Okay everyone: open your bonus envelopes!
General commotion from the audience as they read
the pink slips. BETTY JEAN should wait a few
moments, not hearing anything the audience
actually says.
How much is it? How much did we get?
The house lights come down, helping focus the
audience back to the stage.
CINDY LOU
Oh for Gods sakes, just open it up.
BETTY JEAN rips open the envelope and pulls out
the pink slip.
SUZY
Ooh -- Its pink. How pretty.
CINDY LOU
That cant be right
CINDY LOU takes the pink slip and reads aloud.
As of December Thirty-First, Harpers Hardware will be closing its
doors
SHE hands the pink slip to SUZY, who continues
reading.
SUZY
Thank you for your many years of dedication and hard work. Isnt that
nice?
page 32
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY & CINDY LOU stage whisper into SUZYs ears

(so audience can hear):
CINDY LOU & MISSY
She got fired.
SUZY reacts toward BETTY JEAN.
SUZY
Oh.
THEY whisper again:
CINDY LOU & MISSY
They all got fired.
SHE finally gets it. SHE reacts out.
SUZY
Ohhh! Im, so sorry
SUZY puts the pink slip on the mantle.
MISSY
Betty Jean, are you all right?
BETTY JEAN
Its just par for the whole damn course. I was just hoping for one good
thing this Christmas, ya know? Thats all I wanted.
CINDY LOU
Betty Jean
BETTY JEAN
Go ahead. Tell em the rest. I know you already figured it out.
MISSY
Figure out what?
CINDY LOU
Now at a loss to explain.
Johnny He
SHE cant. SHE turns to BETTY JEAN.
BETTY JEAN
Yeah Johnny. Sure, we gave it another shot. But he left again last
month. For good.
Music in.
Isnt that a kick? Just before the holidays.
(Authors Note: This song should not be
performed as Poor me. SHE should perform this
with the strength and resolve we know shell
find inside to overcome her situation.)
CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST ANOTHER LONELY DAY

BETTY JEAN
ITS CHRISTMAS EVE AND SNOW IS ON THE GROUND
MISTLETOE AND HOLLY ALL AROUND
YES ALL THE WORLD IS HAPPY
BUT SINCE YOU WENT AWAY
MY CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
Winter Wonderettes
page 33
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY & SUZY

ANOTHER LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
MY TREE IS TRIMMED WITH PRETTY COLORED LIGHTS
AND AT THE TOP THE CHRISTMAS STAR SHINES BRIGHT
YES EVERY THING AROUND ME IS VERY BRIGHT AND GAY
BUT XMAS WILL BE JUST
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
MISSY & SUZY
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
I HAD A LONELY SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER TOO
BUT DECEMBER IS TWICE AS LONELY
ALL
WITHOUT YOU, WITHOUT YOU (IM LONELY WITHOUT YOU)
BETTY JEAN
FOR SOON IT WILL BE TIME FOR SANTA CLAUS
AND SURELY HE WILL BRING YOU BACK BECAUSE
WITHOUT YOU HERE BESIDE MY WORLD WILL BE SO GRAY
AND XMAS WILL BE JUST
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
MISSY & SUZY
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
A LONELY DAY
BETTY JEAN
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
ALL
ANOTHER LONELY DAY
Blackout.
END OF ACT ONE
page 34
Winter Wonderettes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT TWO
About fifteen minutes later.
Lights up on a big Rock n Roll number. The
girls enter one by one as they sing. They have
on antler headbands, tied behind their necks.
RUN, RUDOLPH, RUN

MISSY
OUT OF ALL THE REINDEER,
YOU KNOW YOURE THE MASTERMIND
SHE gestures for SUZYs entrance.
SUZY
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
RANDOLPH AINT TOO FAR BEHIND
THEY gesture for CINDY LOUS entrance.
CINDY LOU
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
SANTAS GOT TO MAKE IT TO TOWN
THEY gesture for BETTY JEANs entrance. BETTY
JEAN is not there.
MISSY
Where is she?
CINDY LOU
Late as usual.
SUZY
I told her we were starting.
TELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN
SUZY pushes CINDY LOU into BETTY JEANs spot.
SUZY
You sing it.
CINDY LOU
Singing like BETTY JEAN.
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
REELING LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND
SUZY
You sound just like her!
CINDY LOU
Thanks.
MISSY
SAID SANTA TO A BOY CHILD:
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN LONGIN FOR?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A
ROCK N ROLL ELECTRIC GUITAR!
AND THEN AWAY WENT RUDOLPH,
WHIZZING LIKE A SHOOTING STAR!
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
Winter Wonderettes
page 35
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
SANTAS GOT TO MAKE IT TO TOWN
SANTALL MAKE HIM HURRY,
CINDY LOU & MISSY
SUZY
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
Music break. BETTY JEAN appears at the back of
the house with a plastic cup of beer. SHE is
wearing her antlers around her neck.
BETTY JEAN
Hey! You started without me!
MISSY
Betty Jean! You missed your cue
SUZY
I told you we were starting
BETTY JEAN
I was just getting a beer
CINDY LOU
Ooh - she was at the bar. What a shock.
BETTY JEAN
Suzy - I told you to tell me when we were starting
SUZY
I did tell you! I promise I told her
BETTY JEAN
Well start the song over
MISSY
We cant start over
CINDY LOU
Dont worry, I sang your part for you.
MISSY
Youll just have to jump into the song where we left off
SAID SANTA TO A GIRL CHILD:
WHAT WOULD PLEASE YOU MOST TO GET?
BETTY JEAN
A LITTLE BABY DOLL THAT CAN
CRY, DRINK, SLEEP AND WET.
SHE toasts the audience.
Bottoms up, everyone!
MISSY angrily gestures for BETTY JEAN to put the
beer down on the mantle.
MISSY
AND THEN AWAY WENT RUDOLPH,
WHIZZING LIKE A SABER JET
ALL
YEAH!
page 36
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL (CONTD)
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
BETTY JEAN
SANTA NEVER MADE IT TO TOWN
MISSY reacts to BETTY JEAN.
Well he didnt!
SUZY
SANTALL MAKE HIM HURRY,
SUZY
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
ALL
CINDY LOU
Here we go!
Dance break. CINDY LOU leads the vocals
throughout.
ALL
HUH! HUH! HUH! HUH!
RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,
Applause. BETTY JEAN picks up her beer.
MISSY
Hi everyone, were back.
They repeat the Wonderettes pose with the snow.
It seems that everyone is doing fine after uh after
SUZY
the pink slips?
CINDY LOU
the beheadings?
BETTY JEAN
the wholesale dismissal of our lives?
THEY are all looking at MISSY for her answer.
MISSY
Lets just call it the holiday event and move forward.
BETTY JEAN
Dont worry. Bob cracked open the keg in back. Were all doing just
fine. Thanks Bob!
BETTY JEAN toasts BOB.
I dont feel like being in charge anymore, though. Youre doing great.
BETTY JEAN toasts to MISSY and takes a swig. SHE
takes off her antlers and continues to drink
during the following. SUZY whispers to MISSY:
SUZY
Its okay. Youre better at it.
Winter Wonderettes
page 37
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY
Well okay then. Since everyone just got fired at Christmas
SHE realizes what shes said as the others groan
in response.
perhaps we should share some of our happier Christmas memories.
BETTY JEAN
You know, Im gonna have happy Christmas nightmares if you dont get
those things off your heads!
THEY realize they still have on their antlers.
MISSY
Oh! Antlers
THEY take them off and pass them down to MISSY.
CINDY LOU
Hair check!
THEY all agree as MISSY opens the hinged top on
one of the gift box units and places the antlers
inside. On the lid of the box is an
advertisement for AQUANET, with a large can
clipped in the center. MISSY takes the can and
passes it down to CINDY LOU on the end. CINDY
LOU proudly displays the can.
CINDY LOU (CONTD)
Aquanet. Hardware for your hair.
SHE then sprays a steady stream of hairspray
into the air as the girls all pass under it.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
CINDY LOU dips her head under the last little
bit of spray and puts the can back and closes
the lid. The others check each other to fix
whatever the antler headbands may have done to
their wigs.
MISSY
So Suzy would you like to share a happy Christmas memory?
SUZY
Oh my golly, theres so many. Of course theres the Elf!
The others react.
Theres running down the stairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa
brought.
SHE holds up her crossed fingers.
Theres Dads special homemade Christmas Spurkey.
CINDY LOU
Spurkey?
SUZY
Spurkey. Spam in the shape of a turkey.
Reactions.
I made it for Ritchie last year. It was pretty good.
The lights go out.
Richard
Lights back up. The others suppress laughter as
SUZY glares at Ritchie.
page 38
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY (CONTD)
Anyhow, my most favorite thing was the first day of snow. Every morning
in December Id jump out of bed, Id rush to the window,
Music in.
And if it was snowing out, this is what Mom would say:
SUZY SNOWFLAKE
Wheee! Look whos coming!
HERE COME SUZY SNOWFLAKE,
DRESSED IN A SNOW-WHITE GOWN,
TAP, TAP, TAPPIN AT YOUR WINDOWPANE
TO TELL YOU SHES IN TOWN.
HERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,
SOON YOU WILL HEAR HER SAY:
SUZY
COME OUT EVRYONE AND PLAY WITH ME,
I HAVENT LONG TO STAY.
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A SNOWMAN
SUZY
ILL HELP YOU MAKE ONE,
ONE, TWO THREE.
SUZY
IF YOU WANNA TAKE A SLEIGH RIDE,
WHOOSH!
SUZY
THE RIDES ON ME!
ALL
LOOK AT HER TUMBLIN DOWN,
BRINGING JOY TO EVRY GIRL AND BOY,
SUZYS COME TO TOWN.
SUZY
Wait! I have a surprise
SUZY exits. BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU are
bewildered.
BETTY JEAN
Suzy!
CINDY LOU
Wheres she going?
MISSY
Suzys been working all week on this surprise. Just go to the beginning.
SOON YOU WILL HEAR HER SAY:
Winter Wonderettes
page 39
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
Shouting from off-stage.
Just a minute! Im not ready yet. Keep Singing!
DRESSED IN A SNOW-WHITE GOWN
SUZY rushes out, dressed as a snowflake, covered
in rhinestones. It is reminiscent of a baby
snuggly, and when she spreads her arms, SHE
makes the shape of a snowflake. SHE has a
snowflake wand, and wears tap shoes. BETTY
JEAN and CINDY LOU are both shocked and amused.
SUZY
COME OUT EVRYONE AND PLAY WITH ME,
SUZY does a cartwheel to the center.
SUZYS BACK IN TOWN.
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A SNOWMAN
WELL HELP YOU MAKE ONE,
BETTY JEAN
ONE,
CINDY LOU
TWO,
MISSY
THREE.
SUZY
THEN TO FINISH OFF YOUR SNOWMAN,
THEY back up.
WHOOSH!
Now comes SUZYs tap solo. It starts slowly,
reminiscent of a childs first recital. In time
to the music:
SUZY
Tap, tap, tap! Tap, tap, tap!
Im in town!
The tap gets more intricate as it goes into stop
time. When the music cuts altogether, SUZY goes
into an incredible tap break (feet of flames)
surprising even MISSY. SHE ends with 12 sets of
wings: the first 8 are perfect, the next four we
can tell SHEs done and ready to stop
altogether. THEY come to her rescue and sit her
in the Santa Chair. THEY fan her as THEY roll
her down along the front of the stage.
ALL
LOOK AT HER SITTING DOWN,
SUZY
Extremely winded and out of breath.
BRINGING JOY TO EVRY GIRL AND BOY,
page 40
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY (CONTD)
SUZYS COME TO TOWN.
SUZY gets up for her final tap moment and pose.
ALL
SUZYS COME TO TOWN.
SUZY
Wheeeeeee!
The others applaud SUZY as she curtseys.
CINDY LOU
Cute outfit.
SUZY
Thanks. Missy helped.
BETTY JEAN
Surprise.
SUZY
Missy, help.
SUZY crosses to MISSY for help in getting out of
the outfit. THEY struggle, turning the wrong way
and pulling at sleeves.
CINDY LOU
This looks like another Christmas nightmare in the making
BETTY JEAN
Without a doubt!
MISSY finally pulls the snowflake down to SUZYs
knees, revealing SUZYs rump. MISSY quickly
covers her back up. SUZY turns front, holding
the entire outfit between her legs with the wand
in between her teeth. SHE giggles, and Buffalo
shuffles off as best she can.
The others stare at each other. MISSY is ready
for her own Christmas memory, but needs someone
to ask her.
MISSY
So
Sooo
MISSY clears her throat. CINDY LOU asks in a
flat, rehearsed voice.
CINDY LOU
So Missy whats your favorite Christmas memory?
MISSY
Oh thanks for asking. I loved every December evening when Nana and I
would get in our jammies, sit in front of the fire with a nice hot cup
of cocoa, and make everyones Christmas presents. And I made something
special for each of you this year!
MISSY gets gift boxes from under the tree and
passes them out to the girls. SUZY returns.
CINDY LOU
You didnt have to do that
BETTY JEAN
I didnt get you anything.
Winter Wonderettes
page 41
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
Oh my golly, how sweet.
MISSY
Now this is a new skill I learned this year. Go ahead and open them.
They open the gifts. Each is crocheted. SUZY
receives two mittens, one with no thumb, the
other with two thumbs. BETTY JEAN receives the
worlds longest scarf, looking like piecedtogether potholders. CINDY LOU receives a weird
crocheted muff, which stretches to full arms
length as she plays with it. Reactions all
around.
I hope they fit.
THEY all say the following lines together:
CINDY LOU
Oh, of course it will fit. But the styling of it is just so amazing.
Ill just hang it in the closet and look at it from time to time, do ya
think? Thanks Missy!
BETTY JEAN
Uh, dont worry about the length. I can think of lots of uses for this.
I can use it as a shammy to dry my car, and Halloween is just around the
corner Thanks Missy!
SUZY
Ooh -- Im sure these will work when the baby comes. Maybe I can use
them as puppets. Weird puppets for sure, but puppets just the same.
Maybe even diapers if necessary Thanks Missy!
THEY put the gifts away. As they put the gifts
away, CINDY LOU whispers to BETTY JEAN:
CINDY LOU
Shes so weird
MISSY
This year will be my first Christmas as a happily married woman
She mouths the following again:
(I love you, Bill!)
and Im hoping to create some new happy Christmas memories.
Bell tone.
THIS CHRISTMAS
The first part of the song is a capella.
HANG ALL THE MISTLETOE
IM GONNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER
THIS CHRISTMAS
AND AS WE TRIM THE TREE
HOW MUCH FUN ITS GONNA BE, TOGETHER
THIS CHRISTMAS
THE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT
MISSY gestures to the fire, but its not on.
SUZY flips a switch, and the fireplace lights up
and flickers. MISSY reacts.
WELL BE CAROLING THROUGH THE NIGHT
Music in.
AND THIS CHRISTMAS WILL BE
page 42
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY (CONTD)
A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS FOR ME
I have a present for you too, Bill.
SHE goes to the tree and opens another gift box.
SHE pulls out a sheer white nightie with Marabou
trim. SHE hold it against herself as she turns
around to show the girls. THEY react, then MISSY
turns front, lines herself up under the
mistletoe and vamps directly at Bill.
HANG ALL THE MISTLETOE
IM GONNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER
THIS CHRISTMAS
AND AS WE TRIM THE TREE
HOW MUCH FUN ITS GONNA BE, TOGETHER
THIS CHRISTMAS
THE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT
SHE opens her arms, undressing herself.
WELL BE CAROLING THROUGH THE NIGHT
SHE covers back up with the nightie.
AND THIS CHRISTMAS WILL BE
A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS FOR ME
SHE puts the nightie down on the Santa Chair.
THE PRESENTS AND CARDS ARE HERE
MY WORLD IS FULL OF CHEER, AND YOU
ALL
THIS CHRISTMAS
MISSY gestures out and the house lights come up.
MISSY
LIGHTS TWINKLE ALL AROUND
BUT YOUR EYES OUTSHINE THE TOWN,
MISSY enters the house, and now vamps and sings
toward Bill.
ALL
THEY DO
THIS CHRISTMAS
MISSY
THE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT, WERE
ALL
CAROLING
MISSY
THROUGH THE NIGHT
ALL
AND THIS CHRISTMAS
WILL BE
MISSY
A VERY SPECIAL
ALL
CHRISTMAS FOR ME
MISSY
Whooo!
Winter Wonderettes
page 43
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY rushes back onstage, holds the nightie up

and ends with a final set of sexy oohs.
MISSY (CONTD)
OOOH.
SHE takes an embarrassed curtsey when she
realizes what shes done. Applause.
CINDY LOU and SUZY rush over. SUZY takes the
nightie and holds it up in front of her.
SUZY
Hey Ritchie whattayathink?
Lights flash, SUZY giggles. CINDY LOU takes the
nightie away. Shes seen enough
What about you Betty Jean? Any happy Christmas memories?
BETTY JEAN, at the fireplace, holds up her pink
slip. SUZY turns and simply moves on.
What about you, Cindy Lou? Any happy Christmas memories?
CINDY LOU is now stuck in between SUZY & MISSY.
CINDY LOU
I dont really have many memories of Christmas.
SHE crosses away toward the fireplace.
MISSY
Oh you must!
SUZY
Everybody remembers something
CINDY LOU
I do have one Christmas memory. It was before we moved to Springfield. I
was seven years old. Dad promised that if I was a good little girl Santa
would bring me a Shirley Temple doll. You know, the one with the long
ringlets and the pretty red dress. Oh, I wanted that doll more than
anything. I did everything right: all of my chores for a month never
complaining. On Christmas morning there was my Shirley Temple doll,
just as he had promised. And that was the last Christmas Dad ever spent
with us.
Music in. CINDY LOU sits on the hearth. BETTY
JEAN, MISSY and SUZY sit on the side gift box
units.
Mother and I moved around a lot after that. And we never really
celebrated Christmas anymore.
ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHS

IVE SPENT CHRISTMAS IN PEORIA,
CHRISTMAS HERE IN SPRINGFIELD,
CHRISTMAS IN LAS VEGAS AND L.A.,
AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT COULDNT MATTER LESS
BUT LATELY, COME DECEMBER, I CONFESS
I WANT THE TREE FULL OF TOYS AND TINSEL,
I WANT THE WREATH ON THE RED FRONT DOOR,
I WANT THE ELVES IN THE YARD,
AND EACH SENTIMENTAL CARD
DRIPPING GLITTER ON THE FLOOR,
I WANT A ROOF FULL OF PLYWOOD REINDEER,
page 44
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU (CONTD)

I WANT A ROAD FULL OF HORSE-DRAWN SLEIGHS,
I WANT THE TURKEY WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS,
SHE refers to SUZY, who responds with light
laughter.
THE SPURKEY MOM HARDLY EVER MADE,
I WANT THE GULP, AND THE TEAR
AT THE MOMENT THAT I HEAR
JOHNNY MATHIS BEING PLAYED,
I WANT A LAKE FULL OF PERFECT SKATERS,
I WANT THAT FRUITCAKE WITH SUGAR GLAZE,
NOT TO MENTION THE SNOW,
NOT TO MENTION THE CHOIR,
NOT TO MENTION THE CANDLES IN THE WINDOW
SHE rises.
AND CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON THE FIRE
SHE crosses down center.
INSIDE A HOUSE FILLED WITH NOISE AND LAUGHTER
ALONG A STREET BATHED IN TWINKLING LIGHT
I WANT THE BELLS AND THE DRUMS,
MISTLETOE AND SUGARPLUMS,
AND KIDS TO TUCK IN TIGHT
AND AS FOR THAT GUY IN THE BRIGHT RED OUTFIT,
INSTEAD OF FLYING OFF HE STAYS
I WANT THOSE OVERBLOWN, CORNY,
ENDLESSLY LOVELY
CHRISTMAS CLICHS
As SHE finishes and the music plays out, BETTY
JEAN, MISSY and SUZY cross over and engulf her
in a large group hug. The lights create a
beautiful final picture.
After the applause, they remain in the hug. We
see CINDY LOUs face, whos not quite sure what
to do with this kind of affection.
CINDY LOU (CONTD)
Okay. Okay. I feel the love. Watch the dress
THEY release her and SHE straightens her dress.
BETTY JEAN puts an arm around CINDY LOUs
shoulder.
BETTY JEAN
So, Missy. How are we doing with those happy Christmas memories?
SUZY
I think these two need better Christmas memories to remember.
Winter Wonderettes
page 45
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY
Yes. I think we need to ring in some happy new Christmas memories! And
we need all the help we can get. Girls go pick out some laid-off
employees and bring em up here.
The house lights come up as BETTY JEAN, CINDY
LOU and SUZY go out into the audience to choose
three audience members. BETTY JEAN brings up BOB
from the audience. MISSY sets the stage by
bringing out three stools. SHE then gets the
first set of bells (SR-Wreath) and brings them
over to BETTY JEAN and BOB (SR).
And I think we all know who this is!
BETTY JEAN
Everyone -- you all know Bob from plumbing.
Hi Bob!
MISSY gives the bells wreath to BOB.
BETTY JEAN
Bob, your job is to ring these bells whenever you hear us sing the word
RING.
MISSY sings from his other side.
MISSY
RING
Ad-lib with the bell ringer.
RING RING
Ad-libs again. CINDY LOU has gotten the name of
the next person (CS). MISSY gets the next set of
bells (SL-Snowflake) and brings them over as
CINDY LOU gives instructions.
CINDY LOU
Everyone -- this is _______________________.
ALL
Hi ______________________!
BETTY JEAN
_____________________ is Harpers cashier of the month!
The girls all applaud.
CINDY LOU
Good luck finding a new job, _________________________.
MISSY hands the snowflake bells to the
participant.
Your word is JINGLE. Or any form of the word, like JANGLE or JUNGLE.
MISSY sings.
MISSY
JINGLE
Ad-libs. CINDY LOU sings.
CINDY LOU
JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE
Ad-libs. BETTY JEAN sings.
BETTY JEAN
RING
Ad-libs again.
page 46
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

Youve gotta be on your toes, Bob. (OR: Very good, Bob!)
MISSY gets the Santa Bell as SUZY instructs the
final bell ringer (SL).
SUZY
This is _____________________ from the lumber department.
ALL
Hi ________________________ from the lumber department.
BETTY JEAN
________________________ helped build our stage here tonight.
MISSY
Thank you so much!
MISSY charges over and drops the Santa Bell.
When SHE picks it up, SHE demonstrates that the
clanger is now missing, and the bell makes no
sound. Everyone gasps.
SUZY
Now well never get Santa.
MISSY
Im so sorry. This is the only bell we have left.
SHE hands it to SUZYs participant.
SUZY
Well youll just have to wave it around a lot when you hear your word.
MISSY whispers to SUZY.
I forgot to tell you your word.
Whispering to MISSY.
Whats her/his word?
MISSY whispers to her.
Your word is BELL. Duh.
MISSY sings.
MISSY
BELL
Ad-libs.
SUZY
That just looks silly. Maybe you should make a ringing sound too.
SUZY now sings very suddenly.
BELL
Ad-libs. SUZY may have to help the person come
up with a word. If they choose RING, tell them
its already taken, as is JINGLE.. DING DING
DING is good; SUZY can then DING DING DING
with them throughout.
MISSY
I think were all ready. Let the jingling
THEY all react to make sure the JINGLE person
shakes their bells.
begin!
Music in.
During the BELLS MEDLEY, the girls help the bell
ringers, pointing to them, etc. SUZY continues
Winter Wonderettes
page 47
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------to help her ringer, making the bell noise with

them. Throughout, all of the girls sing
different back-up words and sounds (all are
indicated correctly in the VOCAL SCORE).
MISSY moves around during the first song,
singing in front of and around the bell ringers.
Throughout
RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ALL
DING, DONG, DING, DONG
MISSY
HEAR THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS GO
ALL
DING, DONG
MISSY
SOME FOLKS LIKE TO HEAR A CHRISTMAS SONG
BUT I LIKE CHRISTMAS BELLS THAT GO DING DONG
JINGLE, JANGLE, TING-A-LING OR JUST BING BONG
I LOVE TO HEAR EM RING
OH RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS
ALL
WHILE THEY CHIME WELL HAVE A HAPPY TIME
MISSY
SO RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS
ALL
DING, DONG, DING, DONG
MISSY
OH THE MUSIC OF AN OPEN SLEIGH
WHEN EVRY JOLLY JINGLE SEEMS TO SAY
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAY
COME ON AND RING ALONG
OH RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS
ALL
WHILE THEY CHIME WELL HAVE A HAPPY TIME
MISSY
SO RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS
Immediate segue
MISSY trades places with CINDY LOU, who moves SR
for solo. (MISSY is CS with Jingle ringer.)
SLEIGH RIDE
CINDY LOU
JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING,
RING-TING-A-TINGLING, TOO;
RING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING
page 48
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU
COME ON, ITS LOVELY WEATHER FOR A
SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU.
CINDY LOU
OUTSIDE THE SNOW IS FALLING AND
FRIENDS ARE CALLING:
BETTY JEAN
YOO-HOO!
SUZY
YOO-HOO!
MISSY
YOO-HOO!
CINDY LOU
ALL
CINDY LOU trades places with BETTY JEAN, who
sings here solo SR. (CINDY LOU is SR with BOB.)
BETTY JEAN
The others provide back-up bell-ringer sounds
throughout (as in VOCAL SCORE).
OUR CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY,
AND COMFY COZY ARE WE;
WERE SNUGGLED UP TOGETHER LIKE TWO
BIRDS OF A FEATHER WOULD BE.
LETS TAKE THAT ROAD BEFORE US AND
SING A CHORUS OR TWO;
SUZY
BELLS! BELLS!
MISSY
JINGLE!
CINDY LOU
RING!
SUZY
BELLS!
The music vamps under the following.
As MISSY moves forward, CINDY LOU moves back to
(CS) with the Jingle ringer and BETTY JEAN
returns to BOB (SR).
Winter Wonderettes
page 49
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
Hey this isnt fair for ____________________ from the lumber
department.
MISSY
No its not. Everyone over here at this table (in this row/in this
section): you have to help ______________________ from the lumber
department. When we sing BELL, you all wave your hands in the air and
make bell noises like hers/his.
SHE sings:
BELL!
Okay. Those were your indoor voices. Lets try again with our outdoor
voices.
SHE sings again:
BELL!
Very good! Much better.
CINDY LOU comes forward.
CINDY LOU
Well thats dumb. If
SHEs completely forgotten the persons name.
The others say it quickly, and this section goes
very swiftly.
_______________________
CINDY LOU
from the lumber department gets help, then I think
Yet again
_______________________
CINDY LOU
Harpers Hardware Cashier of the Month gets help too. So everybody
else: when you hear the word JINGLE, I want you all to wave your hands
in the air and shout Jingle, Jingle, Jingle! Try it now.
THEY do. CINDY LOU is turned on.
Oh my. Youre good. Here we go!
Music continues into JINGLE BELLS as CINDY LOU
moves back to (CS) Jingle ringer.
BETTY JEAN
Bob: youre on your own, honey!
MISSY takes over with the (SL) Bell ringer as
SUZY moves from SL to SR during her solo.
JINGLE BELLS
SUZY
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW,
SHES DASHING
SUZY
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH,
SHES DASHING
page 50
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY
OER THE FIELDS WE GO,
NOW SHES LAUGHING
SUZY
LAUGHING ALL THE WAY.
HO! HO! HO! HO!
SUZY
BELLS IN BOBS HAND RING,
MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT,
WHAT FUN IT IS TO RING THOSE BELLS
IN OUR SLEIGHING SONG TONIGHT
Here we go!
SUZY (WITH BACK-UP)
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, RING!
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RING
WITH BOB IN HIS OWN WAY
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH
ALL
Ring those Jingle Bells!
THEY tell everyone to keep ringing, watching
SUZY for the big cut-off. The pose around the
bell-ringers for the button.
Applause.
The girls help their bell ringers back to their
seats. MISSY gathers the bells and removes the
stools. BETTY JEAN takes BOB back to his seat
and stays there a bit longer than the rest.
MISSY
Oh you were all so wonderful! Werent they wonderful? Lets give them
another round of applause.
SHE leads them in applause as THEY finish
clearing the stage.
I hope we didnt create any Christmas nightmares for the three of you!
BETTY JEAN
Rushing back from BOB.
Girls youll never guess what happened!
She mouths to the other girls:
(Bob asked me out.)
CINDY LOU
What?
BETTY JEAN mouths it again.
BETTY JEAN
(Bob asked me out.)
Winter Wonderettes
page 51
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY

What?!
BETTY JEAN
Now shouting.
Bob asked me out!
CINDY LOU
Addressing BOB.
Bob! You sneaky devil.
Back to BETTY JEAN.
But I thought you gave Bob to me?
BETTY JEAN
And you gave him right back.
CINDY LOU
And what about Johnny?
BETTY JEAN
Oh youve been begging me to move on. Dont turn back now.
MISSY
Congratulations Bob!
BETTY JEAN
Hey he just asked me out. Its not like were engaged or anything.
THEY all turn and look right at BOB.
Music in. BETTY JEAN moves into her spot SLC,
the others drift back toward the fireplace.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS EVE

BETTY JEAN
MAYBE ITS MUCH TOO EARLY IN THE GAME,
AH, BUT I THOUGHT ID ASK YOU JUST THE SAME,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS, NEW YEARS EVE?
WONDER WHOSE ARMS WILL HOLD YOU GOOD AND TIGHT,
WHEN ITS EXACTLY TWELVE OCLOCK THAT NIGHT,
WELCOMING IN THE NEW YEARS, NEW YEARS EVE.
SHE begins tentative steps toward BOB. SHE
continually gets encouragement from the others.
MAYBE IM CRAZY TO SUPPOSE
ID EVER BE THE ONE YOU CHOSE
OUT OF THE THOUSAND INVITATIONS YOULL RECEIVE.
AH, BUT IN CASE I STAND ONE LITTLE CHANCE,
HERE COMES THE JACKPOT QUESTION IN ADVANCE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS,
ALL
NEW YEARS EVE?
CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY rush over and surround
BETTY JEAN as they stare at BOB, pointing at
BETTY JEAN, giving him the thumbs up, etc.
This support lets her become a bit more forward
in her delivery.
BETTY JEAN
AH, BUT IN CASE I STAND ONE LITTLE CHANCE,
HERE COMES THE JACKPOT QUESTION IN ADVANCE,
page 52
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS,
ALL
NEW YEARS EVE?
Applause.
BETTY JEAN
Well I cant wait for New Years. Goodnight everybody!
SHE starts off, stopped by CINDY LOU.
CINDY LOU
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ive been waiting my whole life for Santa Claus. Were
not leaving until he gets here.
SUZY
But the Santa bell is broken
CINDY LOU whispers to MISSY, then to BETTY JEAN
and SUZY.
MISSY
Of course!
SHE turns and looks at BILL.
Bill! Cmon!
House lights up as MISSY grabs BILL from the
audience and brings him onstage. House lights
back down. CINDY LOU and SUZY exit.
BETTY JEAN moves the Santa Chair forward under
the mistletoe. MISSY seats BILL in the chair.
CINDY LOU returns with a Santa hat and places it
on Bills head. SUZY returns with a Santa bag,
placing it next to his chair.
Once BILL is set in his chair, MISSY responds to
how sexy he looks in his Santa hat.
MISSY (CONTD)
Oh, Santa!
Music in.
SANTA BABY
MISTER CLAUS, I FEEL AS THOUGH I KNOW YA
SO YOU WONT MIND IF I SHOULD GET FAMILYA,
WILL YA?
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU and SUZY sing back-up BUMs
as MISSY gyrates and shimmies (in her buttoneddown way) to the opening beats of the music.
SANTA BABY, JUST SLIP A SABLE UNDER THE TREE FOR ME
BEEN AN AWFUL GOOD GIRL SANTA BABY,
SO HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT
BETTY JEAN
SANTA BABY, A SIXTY-EIGHT CONVERTIBLE, TOO, LIGHT BLUE,
ILL WAIT UP FOR YOU DEAR SANTA BABY, SO
ALL
HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT
CINDY LOU
THINK OF ALL THE FUN IVE MISSED
THINK OF ALL THE FELLAS THAT I HAVENT KISSED
Winter Wonderettes
page 53
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU (CONTD)

NEXT YEAR I COULD BE JUST AS GOOD
IF YOU CHECK OFF MY CHRISTMAS LIST
SUZY
SANTA BABY, I WANT A BOY AND REALLY THATS NOT A LOT
BEEN AN ANGEL ALL YEAR SANTA BABY, SO
ALL
THEY turn the chair at an angle to face BETTY
JEAN.
BETTY JEAN
SANTA HONEY, ONE LITTLE THING I REALLY DO NEED; THE DEED
TO A PLATINUM MINE, SANTA HONEY, SO
ALL
THEY turn the chair to the opposite angle to
face SUZY.
SUZY
SANTA CUTIE, JUST FILL MY STOCKING WITH A DUPLEX AND CHECKS
SIGN YOUR X ON THE LINE SANTA CUTIE,
AND HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT
ALL
DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT!
THEY turn the chair to face CINDY LOU, who oozes
sex during her solo.
CINDY LOU
COME AND TRIM MY CHRISTMAS TREE
WITH SOME DECORATIONS BOUGHT AT FROM TIFFANY
She squeals with delight as SHE sits on the
floor next to BILL, tickling his knee
suggestively.
I REALLY DO BELIEVE IN YOU
LETS SEE IF YOU BELIEVE IN ME
SHE grabs his leg exuberantly.
Oh Santa!!
SUZY tugs at the chair, trying to dislodge CINDY
LOU. MISSY dives toward CINDY LOU, held back by
BETTY JEAN. CINDY LOU finally crawls away and
rises. MISSY gets BILL to stand as BETTY JEAN
moves the Chair away.
MISSY
SANTA BABY, FORGOT TO MENTION ONE LITTLE THING, A RING
SHE shows the audience her wedding ring.
I DONT MEAN ON THE PHONE, SANTA HUBBY,
SHE whips off her glasses as she backs away.
ALL
Shouted at him to scare him one last time.
Hey!
SANTA -- HURRY ON DOWN!
page 54
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------They ALL gesture as in Act One.

ALL (CONTD)
Hes Santa!
Applause. MISSY holds onto his arm so he cant
leave, moving him SRC.
SUZY holds up the Santa bag.
SUZY
Oh wait Santa heres your bag!
SUZY drops the bag at his feet. In her hands
remain a bundle of envelopes identical to those
in Act One. MISSY picks up the Santa bag and
hands it to BILL to hold.
Betty Jean look!
BETTY JEAN grabs the bundle, ripping off the red
ribbon and opening the green paper. SHE reads
from the colored paper as before:
BETTY JEAN
Dear Betty Jean. HA. HA. HA. I just KNEW, underlined, underlined,
that you couldnt wait for Santa. But now that hes here you should all
know that Harpers Hardware is still in business weve just had our
best year ever. Thank you all, and enjoy your Christmas bonus of one
months salary!
THEY all stare at Santa/BILL with arms open.
ALL
Oh Santa!
THEY all hug him. After a beat, THEY all look up
to see where the mistletoe is, then take little
baby steps over until hes right under it. One
by one they kiss him on the cheek, CINDY LOU
last. After her kiss, CINDY LOU hangs on to him,
caressing his arm.
CINDY LOU
Youve been working out, havent you Santa?
MISSY
Back off, hes mine!
MISSY pulls CINDY LOU away, taking the bag from
Santa/BILL and throwing it at CINDY LOU. BETTY
JEAN and SUZY enthusiastically thank BILL as
MISSY escorts him back to his seat. Many thank
yous and applause.
CINDY LOU
Wow this has been a terrific holiday! I think we all have some great
new Christmas memories.
SUZY
To remember. And Im glad you werent all fired!
BETTY JEAN
Thank you Mr. Harper!!
MISSY
To all the employees of Harpers Hardware and their friends and family:
Thank you for having us and showing us such a wonderful time.
BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & SUZY
Yes, thank you, etc.
Winter Wonderettes
page 55
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU
Merry Christmas everyone.
MISSY
Merry Christmas, Bill.
SUZY
Merry Christmas, Ritchie.
BETTY JEAN
Merry Christmas, Bob.
Music bell tone.
WINTER WONDERLAND
BETTY JEAN
SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTNIN?
CINDY LOU
IN THE LANE, SNOW IS GLISTNIN
MISSY & SUZY
A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT
WERE HAPPY TONIGHT!
ALL
WALKIN WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTES
THEY pose. Music in with percussive pickup.
GONE AWAY IS THE BLUEBIRD,
HERE TO STAY IS A NEW BIRD,
HE SINGS A LOVE SONG, AS WE GO ALONG,
WALKIN WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTES.
CINDY LOU
IN THE MEADOW WE CAN BUILD A
ALL
SNOWMAN
CINDY LOU
AND PRETEND THAT HE IS
ALL
PARSON BROWN
CINDY LOU
HELL SAY, ARE YOU MARRIED?
WELL SAY
MISSY & SUZY
Yes!
CINDY LOU
No.
BETTY JEAN
Kind of
MISSY & SUZY
WELL HE CAN DO THE JOB WHEN HES IN TOWN!
ALL
LATER ON, WELL CONSPIRE,
AS WE DREAM BY THE FIRE,
TO FACE UNAFRAID, THE PLANS THAT WE MADE,
page 56
Winter Wonderettes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------ALL (CONTD)
WALKIN WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTES
IN THE MEADOW WE CAN BUILD A SNOWMAN
AND PRETEND THAT HE IS PARSON BROWN
MISSY & SUZY
HELL SAY, ARE YOU MARRIED?
YOULL SAY
Were workin on it
MISSY & SUZY
HE CAN DO THE JOB WHEN HES IN TOWN!
ALL
WHEN HES IN TOWN!
WHEN IT SNOWS, AINT IT THRILLIN?
THOUGH YOUR NOSE GETS A CHILLIN
WELL FROLIC AND PLAY THE WONDERETTE WAY
WALKIN IN A WINTER WONDERLAND
WALKIN IN A WINTER WONDERLAND!
Final Wonderettes pose. Blackout.
MR. HARPER (V.O.)
Employees, friends and loved ones The Marvelous Winter Wonderettes!
Lights up. Bows to instrumental version of
WINTER WONDERLAND.
THEY acknowledge the bell ringers, BOB and BILL
during FINAL BOWS.
Blackout.
END OF ACT TWO

Winter Wonderettes

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3845 Cazador Street

WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW 60S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL

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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Betty Jean and Missy are slightly flustered

ROCKIN CHRISTMAS MEDLEY

LITTLE SAINT NICK

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZY

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN plugs the lights into the extension

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY illustrates around the world with a large

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------SUZY gestures and MISSY and BETTY JEAN roll the

THE MAN WITH THE BAG

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY shoots her a murderous look. She repeats

CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD

DNDE EST SANTA CLAUS?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY goes to BETTY JEAN just as BETTY JEAN is

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------The other start giggling behind her, finally

WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------House lights up as CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY help

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY & CINDY LOU stage whisper into SUZYs ears

CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST ANOTHER LONELY DAY

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY & SUZY

END OF ACT ONE

RUN, RUDOLPH, RUN

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------MISSY rushes back onstage, holds the nightie up

ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHS

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU (CONTD)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------to help her ringer, making the bell noise with

RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEARS EVE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------BETTY JEAN (CONTD)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------CINDY LOU (CONTD)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------They ALL gesture as in Act One.

END OF ACT TWO

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