Runninghead:

THEDIFFERENCESINTONEFORTWODIFFERENTAUDIENCES1

TheDifferencesinToneforTwoDifferentAudiences
JimmyWaern
AntiochUniversity

THEDIFFERENCESINTONEFORTWODIFFERENTAUDIENCES

TheDifferencesinToneforTwoDifferentAudiences
Arethereorganizationsouttherethatdeliberatelywanttonarrowdowntheirclientsby
writinginawaythatmakespotentialclientsthinktwiceaboutapplying?ThatwasthequestionI
hadinmindwhenconductinganinterviewatthefirstandlargestnationalwishgranting
organizationforadultsinUSADreamFoundation.AccordingtoDreamFoundationsmission
statement,theirpurposeistomakedreamscometrueforadultswithlifethreateningillnesses.
BeinganonprofitorganizationlocatedinSantaBarbara,theyhavebeeninbusinesssince1994,
andhaveservedmorethan20,000finaldreams,neverturningdownaqualifieddreamrequest
evenonce.Asmanynonprofitorganizations,DreamFoundationhavemanydifferentaudiences
toturnto,andusesavarietyofmediumstoeffectivelyreachouteveryone.Usingtheirwebsite,
www.dreamfoundation.org,theyusedifferentstylesofwritingfortwoaudiencesdonorsand
clientsandvaluedonorsoverclients.IwouldarguethattheDreamFoundationisconsciously
usingdifferentstylesofwritingontheirwebsitetotargetinvestors/donorsmoreintenselythan
potentialclients.Byheavilypursuingandpromotingthemselvesfordonors,whilehavinga
nonpromoting,defensivestancetowardsapplicants,DreamFoundationisabletogeneratemore
income,thanthecostoffulfillingclientsdreams.
Thisstrategyisevidentinthedifferentpartsofthewebsite,wherethewritingartifacts
arecompletelydifferentdependingonwhichaudiencetheyarewritingto.Inoticedthelackof
encouragementforapplicantsbeforeIcametotheinterviewduetomybackgroundasa
marketer,andaskedmyselfwouldntitbebetteriftheyencouragedtheirclientstoapply?
ThisledmetothinkaboutthreemajorquestionsbeforeIsetupameetingatDream
Foundation.Firstly,whydoesDreamFoundationuseabigbuttonontheirhomepagewhereit

THEDIFFERENCESINTONEFORTWODIFFERENTAUDIENCES

saysDONATEHERE,butdoesnotuseabuttonthatsaysAPPLYHERE?Secondly,how
comeDreamFoundationisusingapromotionalwritingstyletodonors,butisnotencouraging
potentialapplicants?Thirdly,doesDreamFoundationdeliberatelywanttonarrowdowntheir
clientsbywritinginawaythatisdefensive,andnotencouragingthemtoapply?
Intriguedtofindoutmoreaboutthesequestions,IsetupaninterviewwithKellySweda,
CommunicationsManageratDreamFoundation.Ifthereissomeonetoturntoregarding
questionsaboutwrittencommunicationfortheorganization,Kellyisthepersontoturnto.You
cancompareKellysrolewiththeoneofanacademicprisonguardnopublicwritingescapes
herinspection.HerspecificroleatDreamFoundationistohandlealltypesofwritten
communication,analyseit,makessurethatlanguageandwordingarecorrect,andthenreleaseit
tothepublic.KellyexplainedthatthetypesofaudiencesDreamFoundationarefocusingonare
threemajoraudiencesthedonors,theapplicants(alsocalleddreamreceivers),andthepress.
DreamFoundationisclearlyvaluingdonorsoverapplicants,whichisunmistakableon
theirwebpage.Afteranalysingtheirwebsite,thetoprightpartofthewebsiteabigDONATE
TODAYbuttonthatappears.TheabsenceofanAPPLYHEREbuttonthatcatchesthesame
amountofattentionforpotentialapplicantsisasimportantastheexistenceofthedonatebutton.
Theaudienceoftheapplicantsisnoticeablynotasimportantasthedonors,butinsteadof
assuming,IaskedKellyifanyaudiencewasmoreimportantthanothers,andifso,why?She
answeredThedonorsarethemostimportant,becauseifwedonthaveadonorbase,wewont
haveanybusiness(personalcommunication,February3,2015).Theimportanceofdonorsand
donationstoDreamFoundationiscritical.Withoutthemandtheirmoney,theclientscantget
theirdreamsfulfilled,andthebusinesswouldfailtomeetitspurpose.AccordingtoLunsford

THEDIFFERENCESINTONEFORTWODIFFERENTAUDIENCES

andRuszkiewicz,Tounderstandhowwellanyargumentworks,beginwithitspurpose(2012,
p.93).TheirgoaltotargetdonorswasthereasonwhyDreamFoundationintentionallyuseda
moveontheirwebsitethatwasmadetogainmoreattentionforpotentialdonorsbyusingone
largebutton,insteadoftwoormorethatwouldmakethebuttonpartofagroup,andloseits
intendedattentioninthecrowd.
FurtherinvestigationshowsthattheDreamFoundationusestwodifferenttonesand
stancesforthedonorsandapplicants.Byusingethos(credibility)inbothtexts,Dream
Foundationisabletomakeapersuasivemovethatcanconvertapotentialdonororapplicantinto
anexistingone.Bylookingatthetwoseparatetextsofthedonorsandtheapplicantsatthe
website,thewritingartifactofthedonorssiteisverypersuasiveandselfpromoting,Dream
Foundationisproudtomaintaina4starratingbyCharityNavigatorforsoundfiscal
management,soyouknowyourinvestmentindreamsisputtogooduse.Thesentencecontains
twopersuasivephrasesFirstly,thephraseMaintaina4starratingbyCharityNavigatorisa
textbookexampleinhowtouseethostopersuadeareaderthatthisisanorganizationtotake
seriously.4starratingbyCharityNavigatoristhehighestrankinganonprofitorganizationcan
have,whichindicatesthatDreamFoundationisdoingareallygoodjob.Secondly,thephrase
Yourinvestmentindreamsisputtogooduseensuresthedonorthattheirresourceswillbe
usedinaneffective,goodmannar.
Alsonoticehowthelastphraseusesthewordinvestmentinsteadofi.e.
donation/money,whichisasmartwordtouseifanorganizationwantsthedonortofeelthatthey
willgetsomethingback.Rightbeneaththiswritingartifactisaformtofillout,withoutany

THEDIFFERENCESINTONEFORTWODIFFERENTAUDIENCES

questionsaboutqualifications.KellySwedaprovidedananswertowhytheyhavechosento
writeinthatwayfortheaudience:
Wewantthem(thedonors)toknowthattheycangivenotjustmoney,whichiswhywe
puttime,airlinemiles,otherresources,oryourcash.Wewanttheworddonatenottobe
strictlylimitedtocashandresources.Somethingelsethatisreallyimportantinthe
predonationtextisthatwecanguaranteethatweareusingthemoneytherightway,
becausewehavea4starrating.
ThismeansthatDreamFoundationisencouragingpotentialdonorstonotjustthinkaboutcash
asawayofdonating,anduseotherformsofresourcestohelpDreamFoundationwiththeir
cause.Bystatingthatitisreallyimportantforthemtosharethattheyarea4starratedcharity
organization,DreamFoundationusesethostobuildcredibilityandtrusttogainconfidencefrom
potentialdonors.JustlikeLoshandAlexander(2013)explainsEthosisthecredibilitythata
speakerorwriterbringstothesubjectthatheorsheiscommunicatingabout.(p.44).
Thelettertotheclientsapplying(seeappendixA)followsthegenreconventionsofa
businessemail.Statedby
LoweandZemliansky(2011),
Becausetheconventionsforeach
genrecanbeverydifferent(whoeverheardofa900pagenewspaperarticle?),techniquesthat
areeffectiveforonegenremaynotworkwellinanother(p.77).containingawarmgreeting,
andsalutation,whilehavingaformalbusinesstoneintheintroductionandbodyparagraphs.
Pathosandethosareusedthroughoutthelettertobothpromisetomakeeveryefforttomakethe
dreamcometrue,andlimitexpectations.AccordingtoKelly,thefirstparagraphisthereto
qualifythepotentialdreamreceivers,andinformthemabouttheapplicationrequirements:

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Peopleknowrightfromthebeginningwhatthequalificationsareinanutshellwearea
wishgrantingorganization,targetingadultswithalifelimitingillnesses,andaalife
expectancyofoneyearofless.Itisreallyimportanttolayitoutthere,whoweserve.
Shealsoexplainsthatthelimitationsoftheorganizationarebasedonalltherequeststheyare
constantlyreceiving:
Wearemakingitclearthatwearesmall,gotatonsofrequestfromall50states,andwe
reviewthemasquicklyaspossible,sowewantpeoplenottothinkthattheycancome
backtomorrow.Weareoverwhelmedwiththeamountofrequeststhatwereceive,andit
maytakealittletimebeforewegettoyou,butwecanassureyouthatweareworkingon
it.
Thepointofthisparagraphistoprovidethepotentialdreamreceiverwiththeinformationthat
theirrequestisbeingprocessed,butmaybenotasfastastheymighthopeitwouldbe.Thetone
ofthebodyparagraphsisdefensive,andfocusesmoreonthelimitationsofDreamFoundation,
ratherthantheapplicantsperspective.Forexample,writingthattheyarereceivinghundredsof
requestscanbeinterpretedasifapplicationsaretimeconsuming.Neveronceinthisletterhas
theDreamFoundationexpressedsympathyforthetheirpotentialclientsdepressingsituationas
anattempttobuildaconnectionbetweenthem.LoshandAlexanderconfirmsthatYourtone
shouldengageyouraudienceinawaythatwillinvitethemtofeelreceptivetoyourmessage
(2012.p.129).Afeelingthatisnotcomingacrossintheirtextatall.
Byanalysingthetwowritingartifactssidebyside,andusingtheinformationprovided
fromKelly,wecandrawsomeconclusions.Thestanceandthetoneofthedifferenttextsare
contrastingwhilethedonationtextpushesforpotentialdonors,theapplicationtextnevertriesto

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encourageaclient,oruseanyformofempathyinanattempttoconnectandrelatetothevictims,
andtheirfamilies.Theothertextiscenteredaroundthecompany,andtheworktheyhavetoput
downinordertoprocessapplications.Itisobviousthattheapplicationtextlackssentencesof
persuasionandencouragementforpotentialclientsbycomparingthedonationtextwiththe
applicationtext.
Asaconclusion,DreamFoundationismakingaconsciouschoicetovaluethedonors
overtheapplicantsintheirwebsite,anditisevidentintheirwriting.Usingpersuasivewriting
toolsfordonorsandstronglysuggestingthemtoinvesttheirresourcestoDreamFoundation,
whileatthesametimeneverreallyencouragingpotentialapplicantstoproceedwiththe
applicationmakesDreamFoundationabletopersuademoredonorsthanapplicants.Dream
Foundationsuseofwritingreallycomesacrossasbusinesscentric,andnotcustomercentric
wheninformingpotentialapplicantsabouttheapplicationprocess.Itisobviousbytheanswers
KellyprovidedthatDreamFoundationisveryreliantondonorsasasourceofrevenue,which
makesthemfocusingonthatparticularaudienceintheirwebpage.Havingsaidthat,Dream
Foundationhasnevermissedasinglequalifiedapplicantsincetheystartedthenonprofit
organization.Havingadreamfulfilledissomethingtoexpectifyouarequalified,butdont
expectDreamFoundationtoencourageyoutoapplyonthewebsite.

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References
Thill,J.V.,&Bovee,C.L.(2011).
ExcellenceInBusinessCommunication
(9thed.).Upper
SaddleRiver,NJ:Pearson.

Lunsford,A.A.,&Ruszkiewicz,J.J.(2012).
EverythingisanArgument.
Boston,MA:
Bedford/St.Martins.

Losh,E.&Alexander,A.(2013).
UnderstandingRhetoric.
Boston,MA:Bedford/St.Martin's.

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AppendixA
DearDreamApplicant,

TheDreamFoundationisawishgrantingorganizationforadultswithalifelimiting
illnessandalifeexpectancyofoneyearorless.Wedoourverybesttograntdreamsfor
thoseunabletocreatethemontheirown.

WeareasmallnonprofitorganizationbasedinSantaBarbara,California.Wereceive
hundredsofrequestsfromacrossthecountryandrevieweachdreamrequestasquickly
aspossible.Byworkingtogether,withpeoplehelpingpeople,wewillmakeeveryeffort
tomakeyourdreamcometrue.

FromtheHeart,
DreamFoundationStaff