How to Communicate

Effectively
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen
twice as much as we speak.
-Mark Twain

What is
Communication
Communication can be defined as the exchange of
thoughts, information or messages between
individuals, as well as the sending and receiving
of information using speech, writing and gestures.
Messages must be sent and received for
communication to take place.

Ways we Communicate
Today...

Cell Phone

Face to face

Texting

Body Language

E-mail

Facial Expressions

Social Media

Music

Twitter

Art

Basic
Communication
Skills

-Being an effective communicator means that you

correctly interpret the messages you are receiving and
respond appropriately.
-Three basic skills are needed for effective
communication:
Speaking
Listening
Body Language

Communication
Styles
Passive communicators do not stand up for
themselves or defend their attitudes or
beliefs.
Aggressive communicators often try to get
their way through bullying and intimidation.
Assertive communicators defend their
attitudes and beliefs, but they also respect
the rights of others. This is the
healthiest form of Communication in
any setting (friends, family, school,

Passive
Communication
Allowing our own rights to be violated by
failing to express our honest feelings.
The goal of being passive communicator is to
avoid conflict no matter what.
Little risk involved- very safe.
Little eye contact, often defers to others
opinions, usually quiet tone, may suddenly
explode after being passive too long.

Examples of Passive
Communication:
I dont Know.
Whatever you think.
You have more experience than I. You
decide.
Ill go with whatever the group decides.
I dont care. It doesnt matter to me.

Aggressive
Communication
Protecting ones own rights at the expense of others
rights- no exceptions.
The goal of the aggressor is to win at all costs; to be right.
Does not consider actions a risk because this person
thinks they will always get their way. It is risky in terms of
relationships, however.
Eye contact is angry and intimidating, lots of energy; loud
and belittling; never defers to others, or at least does not
admit to; manipulative and controlling.

Examples of
Aggressive
Communication:

I dont know why you cant see that this is the

right way to do it.
Its going to be my way or not at all.
Youre just stupid if you think that will work.
That kind of logic will sink the project.
Who cares what you feel. Were talking about
making things work here.

Assertive
Communication
Protecting your own rights without violating the rights of
others.
The goal of the assertive person is to communicate with
respect and to understand each other; to find a solution to
the problem.
Takes a risk with others in the short run, but in the long run
relationships are much stronger.
Eye contact maintained; listens and validates others;
confident and strong, yet also flexible; objective and
unemotional; presents wishes clearly and respectfully.

Examples of
Assertive
Communication:
So what youre saying is.
I can see that this is important to you, and it is also
important to me. Perhaps we can talk more
respectfully and try to solve the problem.
I think I feel I believe that.
I would appreciate it if you

Examples and Tips

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
YJgE3d2gCEQ

Discussion Question
2. What is the combination of
communicating styles that are
needed to be an assertive
communicator?

Speaking Skills
You demonstrate good speaking skills when you clearly
say what you mean.
Changes in the tone, pitch or loudness of your voice
can affect communication.
Using I messages can help you communicate your
feelings positively, without blame or name-calling.

Class Activity: Rewrite the

statements using positive IMessages:
You messages
1. You never call.
2. Youre always late.
3. You always ignore me
when we are together.
4. Dont yell at me!
5. You probably wont
think it is important,
but I need to talk to
you about

I messages
1. I like when you call, it
makes me happy.
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. ____________________

Listening Skills
Active Listening
You can make use of
active listening to
improve your
communication skills.
Active listening involves
giving your full
attention to whatever
the speaker is saying
without interrupting or
making judgments.

Tips
Make direct eye
contact.
Dont interrupt the
speaker.
Use body language and
signals, which show you
are listening.
Put away prejudices,
images, or assumptions.

Tips on Active
listening
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
y7gHLSK6zcY

Techniques for Active

Listening
Reflective listening: Rephrase or
summarize what the other person has said.
Clarifying: Ask questions to help understand
more fully what is being said.
Encouraging: Encourage the speaker to
signal that you are interested and involved.
Empathizing: Imagine and understand how
someone else feels.

Nonverbal
Communicati
on
Body Language
*A nonverbal
communication
through gestures,
facial expressions,
behaviors, and
posture.

You use body language

when you nod or shake
your head to show that
you agree or disagree.
Nonverbal
communication takes
place at an
unconscious level.
If your words and your
body language seem to
contradict each other,
the person you are
speaking to may be
confused or unsure of
what to believe.

Class Discussion

Miscommunication can happen in

various ways, what form/s of
miscommunication happens in this
short video clip?
(Body Language/ face expression)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ3qgIMURgI

In Summary
Every time we decide to communicate with another person, we
select a style of communication. Notice yours, and notice theirs.
Being assertive is not synonymous with an anger management
problem- it is protecting your rights without violating others.
Get ALL the facts you can before you pass judgment.
Assertiveness allows you to face confrontation in a healthy way
and without getting overly emotional.
Being assertive means you also must own what is yours to own.
If the other person has a point about your behavior, own it!
Accept someones criticism as feedback rather than an attack, it
will help you gain self-awareness.

Thank You!!

References
https://tercstime.wikispaces.com/.../
PassiveAggressiveAssertiveCommunictio
n
http://4h.uwex.edu/pubs/pubdetails.cfm
?publicationid=11396
.
http://www.gcit.org/ourpages/auto/2011/1
1/22/39064347/Chap%2010%20Lesson%202%20c
ommunicating%20effectively.ppt
.