Abdou

Mariam Abdou
Professor Corri Ditch
English 113A
30 September 2014
Tell me, how to raise my child?
In From Women, Men and Society by Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran and No way
my boys are going to be like that by Emily W. Kane, the authors argue that parents shape their
childs understanding of gender by following gender roles so that others can identify their sex
status correctly. Gender is a behavior and output of a specific sex, while sex is just a status that
verbally distinguishes between male and female. Parents are following the way theyve been
taught. They believe that thats the correct way to raise their children, which is all based on their
cultures values. Thus, as children grow, they would have segregated ideas of gender, and
eventually they would get adjusted to them and apply to themselves and to others, and then they
behave and act accordingly.
First, society has set up gender stereotypes, which parents have favored to follow and
apply it on themselves and their children. In other words, society has created specific
characteristics and outputs for both sexes; males and females, in order to be identified correctly,
and to be considered as one of the normal society members. The authors once said We know
that when someone interacts with a child and a sex label is available, the label functions to direct
behavior along the lines of traditional {gender} roles. (Renzetti & Curran 77). Society has
placed certain gender stereotypes based on the sex through physical appearances, behaviors and

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personalities. For example, males have to act masculine, and are expected to be aggressive,
independent, responsible, strong, less emotional, tall, wide and self-confident. While females has
to act feminine, and are expected to be sensitive, dependent, subordinate, emotional, caring,
small, short, good housewives, know how to cook, clean and take care of a baby. The authors
said, Parents are teaching their daughters to be more attentive to others feelings and to be
interpersonal relationships, while they are teaching boys to be assertive, but unemotional except
when expressing anger. (Renzetti and Curran 79). I remember when I was a child my parents
would not let me engage a lot with boys so that I wouldnt behave or do the same things they do.
In addition, my parents used to not let me do guy things such as playing PlayStation, or even be
in a closed room with them. Furthermore, I remember when my uncle had a baby girl, he painted
her room pink and he brought a huge pink teddy bear and placed it next to her pink crib. This
shows how children are raised with these rooted ideas that are emphasized in daily activities
through society.
Secondly, parents follow gender roles; expected behaviors that American society has
placed on males and females of how to act, dress, talk, behave and perform, and then teaching it
to their children shaping their childrens route and the direction of their lives. The authors also
said, Consequently, the children cannot help but conclude that sex is an important social
category. By the time they are ready for school, they have already learned to view the world in
terms of dichotomy terms: his & her. (Renzetti & Curran 84). Gender is a social construction;
specific expected differences and characteristics determined by the parents culture. Parents want
their kids to view the world from the societys lens; they want their kids to be aware of the
societys categories; male should behave manly, while females should behave femininely. Thus,
Children grow up knowing that the differences between a boy and a girl are true since everybody

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is practicing them, which are available everywhere through daily human interactions, books,
television and music. The more they grow, the more they would explore more differences of
gender throughout their life stages. Furthermore, they would be convinced with the separate
ideas of gender; that there are differences between a boy and a girl made by the society, which
would last with them forever, and their judgments would be based on those thoughts. The
authors wrote, Parents communicate differently with sons and daughters. (Renzetti & Curran
79). Parents apply mental differences to their children. They talk with their kids based on their
sex as they tend to use emotional words with girls and expect her to become emotional, sensitive,
and dependent, while they tend to use aggressive words more with guys and expect them to be
more aggressive, less emotional, and independent.
In addition, parents like to follow the way society views girls and boys so that others can
identify their sex correctly. Society uses clothes as one of the factors that differentiate between
boys and girls. Parents tend to use certain types of clothes for their children that would either
encourage or discourage them from doing certain activities. For example, boys tend to mostly
wear loose pants or shorts that would make them feel to be more active and run around
comfortably, while girls tend to wear nice, decorative dresses that would discourage them to do
certain activities like boys. The authors said, Boys are expected to me more active than girls,
and the styles of the clothing designed for them reflect this gender stereotype (Renzetti and
Curran 77). Moreover, parents tend to get dark colored clothes for their boys such as blue. On
the other hand, they tend to get lighter colors such as pink for their daughters so that others can
clearly distinguish between their children, and avoid confusion on whether its a boy or a girl. In
addition, decorations on clothes help identify sex better. For instance, boys tend to wear blue or
black shirts that have shapes of cars, trucks and guns pictures on them, while girls tend to wear

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pink dresses that have pink hearts and flowers, pink bows and headbands. The authors argue,
Clothing clearly serves as one of the most basic ways in which parents organize their childrens
world along gender-specific lines. (Renzetti and Curran 78). Commonly, clothing helps others
identifying the correct sex from the outside of the person or the outfits according to the societys
gender roles.
Furthermore, another factor that influences children to behave in a certain way is toys.
Toys help children to act out in particular behaviors. For example, Parents tend to buy toys that
lead to aggression, action and adventure for their boys such as plastic guns and swords, cars,
trucks and building toys. While for girls, parents tend to buy dolls, cooking and baby sets such as
Barbie, Bratz, kitchen, makeup, cooking sets which lead girls to be more creative and good
future housewives. The authors say, Toys for boys tend to encourage exploration, manipulation,
invention, construction and aggression. In contrast, girls toys typically rate high on
manipulation, but also creativity, nurturance and attractiveness. (Renzetti and Curran 82).
Children grow having the idea that these are their genders specific behaviors that they have to
practice, and are going to be performing and responsible for later on in life, since parents teach
these norms to their children it sounds right to them. The author also says, Children express
gender-typed toys preferences as early as one year of age, but their toys choices may have
been inspired even earlier by parental encouragement. (Renzetti and Curran 82). Parents help
convince their children to pick the appropriate toys that goes along with the their specific sex,
which also helps them grow with that thought and applying it to themselves and others so that
children would be viewed correctly in societys lens of gender.
Lastly, parents use gender performance; they shape their childs way of performing,
behaving, and acting based on whether its a male or a female that is based on their cultural

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attributes. Kane once said, I dont want him to be a sissy.. I want to see him strong, proud not
crying like sissy (Kane 94). Kane also said, Stop crying like a girl (Kane 92). In both quotes
we can see how parents mention different activities to their kids so that they can be aware and
choose the right path; that is based on their sex. Parents try to restrict their kids with
characteristics and activities so that kids can choose the right gender performance that is based
on their sex.
To summarize, parents want their kids to behave and act based on their sex according to
the societys view, cultural values, and the gender roles that it has placed on individuals to
follow. Society is enforcing gender stereotypes and gender roles for individuals to follow, which
get passed along from a generation to another, and also gets applied since childhood. Factors that
help sex to be identified correctly are things such as clothing and toys. Expected gender
performances and behaviors based on sex are applied at a young age that stays for life. Thats
how the whole gender phenomena is transferred by a society to its individuals.

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Work Cited
Claire, Daniel. and Curran, Daniel. From Women, Men and Society. . Composing Gender.
Rachael Groner & John F. OHara. Bedford/St. Martin. Boston/New York. 2003. 76-84.
Print.
Kane, Emily. No Way My Boys Are Going To Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens
Gender Nonconformity. Composing Gender. Rachael Groner & John F. OHara.
Bedford/St. Martin. Boston/New York. 2006. 91-97. Print
Gender & Gender Identity. Planned parenthood. Planned Parenthood Federation of America
Inc. n.d. Web. 30 Sep. 2014.
The Purdue OWL. Purdue U Writing Lab, 2010. Web. 2 Dec 2014
Ousborne, Jeff. Critical Reading And Writing Bedford/St. Martin's; First Edition. 2014. Print.