Sibling Rivalry

By Rebekah Garvin
Conflict Management; Joe Gundy
Sept. 22, 2014

Siblings can choose different tactics to get what they want from each other throughout
the course of a conflict. When the elder sibling initially takes a competitive approach to a
problem interpersonal conflict can arise and the younger sibling can try different tactics to solve
the dilemma. In this essay I will show how the younger brother in this case initially chose a
cooperative approach and then moved to a competitive strategy in reaction to his older
brothers unrelenting competitive approach to solve their conflict.
The competitive approach to solving conflict is initiated by a perception that one party
has a right to seek compliance from another personbased on perceived authority, status or
prejudice (McCorkle & Reese, 2010, p. 33). On the other hand, the cooperative approach to
solving conflict seeks creative and innovative solutions that maximally meet the needs of all
parties (McCorkle & Reese, 2010, p. 35). According to our book, most interpersonal conflicts
contain aspects of both competitive and cooperative approaches. The conflict between Sergio
and Antoine over who gets to drive the car contains both of these approaches (Sibling Rivalry,
2010).
McCorkle and Reese (2010) clarify that a person operating with a competitive mind-set
will seek to overpower another by creating dependency or outright block anothers ability to
have their chosen goal. On the other hand, a person who tackles conflict with a cooperative
approach will try to solve the problem by focusing on processes that can lead to positive
outcomes for both (McCorkle & Reese, 2010, p. 37). In this case, Sergio seems to feel that his
status as the older brother grants him the right to overpower his younger brother Antoine. In
reaction to his brothers competitive approach, Antoine initially decides to use a series of
cooperative approaches that will potentially reward each of them with good outcomes (Sibling
Rivalry, 2010). But as he becomes frustrated by his lack of success using interest-based tactics
(McCorkle & Reese, 2010 p. 37) he decides to compete with Sergio instead.
In this case, the boys parents provided them a car to use, but the driving schedule was
left up to the brothers to hash out. Sergio took the competitive approach and claimed all the
driving based on the authority he felt being the older brother afforded him. The younger
brother, Antoine, felt that this was unfair and therefore looked for ways to appeal to Sergios
heart through cooperative efforts. Antoine tries two times to appeal to his brother by using an
interest-based approach. To Antoines equal sharing suggestion Sergio says it was his car first
and his younger brother would just have to live with it until he moved out next year (Sibling
Rivalry, 2010). Antoine didnt give up. He then produced a schedule that would allow both of
them to share the driving, even giving Sergio an extra day (Sibling Rivalry, 2010). But Sergio
still did not respond to his brothers efforts favorably.
When Antoine tries a third time he changes his tactic. This time he joins his brother in
competition by recalling all the things Sergio uses that are his and all the times that Antoine has
helped Sergio out. Antoine mentions that it could be to his (Antoines) personal benefit to be
completely independent from each other (Sibling Rivalry, 2010) but he would rather share.
Antoine pointed out that Sergio owes him time in the drivers seat if Sergio wants Antoine to
continue to allow him to use his stuff.
The case does not tell us Sergios final reaction to Antoines change to a competitive
approach. But it does make it clear that the older brother initially rejects Antoines
collaboration propositions and refuses to share the driving by blocking his younger brothers
attempt at reconciling their conflict through cooperative efforts (Sibling Rivalry, 2010). At that
point, the book explains that this is where the two worlds of competition and cooperation
collide. This is where not all people and not all situations respond to creative problem solving
and that not all people will respond to creative problem solving (McCorkle & Reese, 2010, p.
37). The book suggests that if Antoine had continued to use the cooperative approach he might
very well continue to hit a wall in trying to engage in collaboration with his brother (McCorkle
& Reese, 2010, p. 37). Therefore, he recognized the clash between the competitive and
cooperative approaches and changed to a competitive strategy for this situation (McCorkle &
Reese, 2010, p. 37).
I have shown in this essay how older brother Sergio chose competition to deal with the
issue over who got to drive the car and how Antoine initially chose cooperation but then moved
to embrace competition to solve their interpersonal conflict. Sergio, as the oldest, tried to
dominate his younger brother with his status as the older brother. Younger brother Antoine
tried twice to use a collaborative approach to win over the heart of his brother. When that
didnt work he changed approaches and chose to play the same competitive game as Sergio.

Sources Cited
Sibling Rivalry. (2010). In S. McCorkle and M. Reese, Personal Conflict Management. Boston:
Pearson.
McCorkel, S., & Reese, M. (2010). Personal Conflict Management. Boston: Pearson.