Communication

Communication is the exchange of thoughts feelings, messages, or facts

between and among people.
Communication involves verbal as well as non-verbal aspects: Eye contact,
body posture, gestures, facial expression, timing, tone of voice, and
language content
There are two parts to communication:
1 !nitiating or sending e"ective messages
# $esponding to or receiving accurate messages
1 !nitiating or sending e"ective messages
a. Ta%e ownership of your messages &use !-messages to identify
your thoughts and feelings in a non-threatening way
b. 'a%e your messages complete and speci(c
c. )escribe behaviours without evaluating or interpreting
d. *end the same verbal and non-verbal messages
e. *tay with the present
f. )on+t give advice
g. )on+t ma%e ,udgements
h. -s% for feedbac% to ensure awareness of how the message was
received
# $esponding to or receiving accurate messages
a. Chec% for understanding- content and feelings
b. .araphrase accurately and non-evaluatively the content of the
message
c. /ive non-verbal feedbac%
d. Concentrate on what is being said
e. )on+t interpret motives
f. )on+t interrupt
g. $emain neutral
h. *ummari0e and clarify information
Three basic communication s%ills
Passive Aggressive Assertive
1ncomfortable
expressing his needs.
2ac%s down to avoid
con3icts
Concerned about what
people thin%.
!s afraid to spea% up
'eets his needs without
thin%ing of others
1ses attac%ing tactics
li%e yelling, door
slamming, des%
pounding4
Concerned about his
feelings only
!nterrupts others
Comfortable expressing
needs
Can communicate
without disrespecting
others
-ims for win-win
solutions.
5istening s%ills
1 *it 6uietly and in a good listening position
# 5oo% at the spea%er
7 Thin% about what the person is saying
8 -s% 6uestions at appropriate times if you don+t understand
-ctive listening
-ctive listening is a vital part of e"ective communication. 9hen you listen
actively, you try to understand the spea%er+s experience, feelings, and point
of view. :ere are six points to remember when practicing active listening.
1 Encourage the person by using verbal and non-verbal signs to show
you are listening; for example loo% at the spea%er, lean toward the
spea%er, nod yes or no.
# Clarify by as%ing 6uestions to ma%e sure you understand and to get
more information.
7 $estate in your own words what the spea%er has said.
8 $e3ect the spea%er+s feelings bac% to him<her. This shows that you care
and helps the spea%er to thin% about his<her feelings.
= *ummari0e the ma,or ideas, themes, and feelings he spea%er has
expressed.
> ?alidate what the spea%er is saying by showing that you appreciate
and respect what has been said.
@!A messages
@!A messages let you express your feelings in an e"ective way. 9hen you use
@!A messages, you own your feelings without putting down the other person.
9hen you use an @!A message, you tal% about behavior, you don+t attac% the
other person+s character.
-n @!A message has three basic steps:
1 *tate your feelings, @! get really annoyed4.A
# !dentify what the other person does that ma%es you feel that way @4
when you ta%e my bi%e without as%ing.A
7 Tell what you would li%e to see happen, @! want you to as% me (rst if
you want to borrow it.A
$oadbloc%s to communication
$oadbloc%s are ine"ective ways of responding to another person. They can
bloc% the communication process rather than facilitate it. $esponding to
another person in a non-helpful way can
1 Cause the other person to feel unaccepted, ,udged, blamed, or re,ected
# Cause the other person to be defensive
7 )amage self-esteem
8 .romote dependent behavior
= *how disrespect for the other person
Examples include: ordering, commanding, warning, threatening, morali0ing,
preaching, advising, giving solutions, persuading with logic, arguing, ,udging,
critici0ing, blaming, praising, agreeing, name calling, ridiculing, analy0ing,
diagnosing, reassuring, sympathi0ing, probing, diverting, sarcasm,
withdrawal.