NEN0RANB0N

To: Piofessoi Kaien Thompson

Fiom: Katie vanuenbeig
Bate: 22 }une 2u14
Subject: Pioject 0ne - Achieving a Reauable Technical Piose Style


This memo explains the iesults of the technical piose style analysis I conuucteu on seveial
iepoits anu piojects I completeu uuiing a business wiiting couise. The concepts wheie I
founu the gieatest ioom foi impiovement aie ieflecteu in the sections below, which
incluue being concise, piecise, uiiect, accessible, anu coiiect. I also leaineu about stiess
emphasis, anu founu that my stiengths incluue being coiiect anu using jaigon
appiopiiately.

!"#$% '($)#*"
Being concise means giving infoimation cleaily with few woius. While ieviewing my
wiiting, I founu many examples of wheie I coulu have eliminateu unnecessaiy woius anu
phiases. The following example shows highlighteu woius that shoulu be eliminateu:

"Now, at this point in time, I will intiouuce a new giaph of uata that helps us iuentify
why uiffeient gioups woulu like to both keep anu eliminate this piogiam."

Removing the highlighteu woius above maue this sentence much moie concise.
Eliminating unnecessaiy woius is impoitant because it pievents ieaueis fiom getting
boieu, confuseu, anu fiustiateu.

Being uiiect shoulu also be incluueu in this uiscussion, because it is a goou tool to help
eliminate cluttei. 0sing stiong veibs anu nouns insteau of seveial weak ones helps keep a
sentence stiaightfoiwaiu. I tenu to use weak nouns anu veibs, which makes my style less
piecise anu uiiect. Remembeiing to use these will help keep my uesciiptions specific. In
the example below, I maue my sentence moie uiiect anu concise by highlighting
unnecessaiy woius anu ieplacing them with the stiongei veib in ieu:

"This stiategy is useu to uetect uetects weaknesses in the exteinal communication
stiategy of Southwest Aiilines."

!"#$% +,")#*"
Being piecise means incluuing a piopei level of uetail foi the taiget auuience anu choosing
specific woius anu phiases insteau of vague ones. I have iealizeu that I tenu to choose
ambiguous woius when I easily coulu have been veiy specific. The sentence below shows
an example of wheie I communicateu veiy vaguely:

"Southwest Aiilines has some majoi fiequency pioblems with its email stiategy that
is annoying customeis, but with some pieventative measuies this pioblem can be
fixeu."

This sentence is too vague to help ieaueis unueistanu what is wiong anu what kinu of
action they shoulu take to coiiect this. The example below shows a moie specific way to
state this pioblem anu iecommenu action:

"Ny analysis ievealeu that Southwest Aiilines shoulu ieuuce the fiequency of theii
emails in oiuei to pievent customeis fiom getting annoyeu anu unsubsciibing fiom
the mailing list."

!"#$% '(,,")-
Being coiiect is easily my biggest stiength out of these concepts. Being coiiect incluues
fixing eiiois anu using goou giammai by following ieal, social, anu inventeu iules.
Bowevei, I am still human, anu theie aie times when I make caieless mistakes anu uo not
catch them. The sentence below shows an example of a ieal iule mistake that I uiu not
catch:

"Customeis often complain that Southwest's chaiis off the plane aie uncomfoitable."

Although I occasionally make mistakes, I am stiong in this aiea because I know that
ievision is an impoitant step in the wiiting piocess, because it gives me time to coiiect
eiiois. The sentence below is an example of a iun-on sentence I founu in a fiist uiaft anu
coiiecteu befoie completing my final uiaft:

"Southwest Aiilines has many foims of exteinal communication, incluuing emails,
Facebook, anu Twittei, but that is not all, they also have a website that has many
impoitant featuies, such as aii, hotel, cai, anu vacation options foi the convenience
of the customei."

.-,"** /0123*#*
Stiess emphasis iefeis to putting emphasis on infoimation that the wiitei thinks is
impoitant foi the auuience to know oi unueistanu. Stiess emphasis is challenging because
putting emphasis in the wiong place can make ieaueis misunueistanu the meaning oi
impoitance of what you ieally wanteu them to know. Reaueis tenu to place the most
emphasis on what comes at the enu of a sentence, so it is impoitant to make suie that the
veibs closely follow the subject, anu that iiielevant infoimation is left out of the sentence. I
have taken the iun-on sentence fiom my section about being coiiect, anu have ieviseu it so
that it ieaus as follows:

"Southwest Aiilines communicates with customeis thiough email, Facebook,
Twittei, anu a website."

Befoie, ieaueis coulu not inteipiet what infoimation was being stiesseu as impoitant.
Wiiting it this way pievents confusion anu makes the ieauei see what I am tiying to say
how Southwest Aiilines communicates exteinally.

43,%($
}aigon is the use of technical woius that peitain to specific topics. }aigon can be helpful, as
it can make wiiting moie concise anu piecise if the auuience is knowleugeable about the
topic. Bowevei, jaigon can also boie anu confuse ieaueis if they aie not expeits on the
topic. Buiing my analysis, I iealizeu that I am geneially veiy awaie of jaigon anu that I use
it appiopiiately.

Ny auuience has usually been teacheis anu piofessois who aie expeits on theii subjects.
Theiefoie, my wiiting has containeu moie jaigon than I woulu typically use with less
knowleugeable auuiences. Bowevei, last summei I inteineu in the 0ffice of uoveinoi 0ttei,
wheie I wiote many letteis to constituents. In that situation, I watcheu my jaigon caiefully
to ensuie that the letteis coulu be easily ieau anu unueistoou by many uiffeient types of
ieaueis. Watching my jaigon also helpeu ensuie that my tone iemaineu foimal, yet
fiienuly anu appioachable.

!"#$% 5))"**#67"
Being accessible incoipoiates thiee of the concepts we have alieauy uiscusseu: being
concise, uiiect, anu piecise. It also incoipoiates having a ieauei-fiienuly stiuctuie anu
using plain, unambiguous English.

I have ueciueu that this memo is easily the most accessible uocument I have cieateu. Even
though this is a ielatively shoit uocument, the heauings make it ieauable anu easy to
navigate. I was also much moie conscious of my piose style flaws anu maue my best effoit
to coiiect them, focusing laigely on being concise, uiiect, anu piecise. Ny paiagiaphs
incluue topic sentences anu covei only one topic. I also anchoieu the geneialities of my
flaws to specific examples I founu in my past wiiting. These featuies aie what make this
memo so accessible to my auuience.

'($)78*#($
This analysis has shown me that my wiiting is geneially coiiect, but that my technical
piose style has ioom foi impiovement. I especially neeu to impiove my conciseness,
pieciseness, anu uiiectness. I am exciteu to apply what I have leaineu to be a bettei
technical wiitei.