Information for families and early childhood staff Component 3 - Working with parents and carers

Healthy relationships
and families
1ypically when we Ihink oI Iamilies, Ihe IradiIional nuclear and
exIended Iamily who are biologically relaIed may come Io mind.
However, a Iamily can be made up oI anyone a person considers
Io be Iheir Iamily. A Iamily shares emoIional bonds, common
values, goals and responsibiliIies. Family members conIribuIe
signiIcanIly Io Ihe wellbeing oI each oIher. When a Iamily
includes children, one or more adulIs may Iake on an involved
role in Ihe child's liIe and become a parenI or carer. ParenIs and
carers may noI necessarily be biologically relaIed Io Ihe child
or even live wiIh Ihe child all Ihe Iime. A child may have one or
several parenIs or carers. ln addiIion Io Iheir biological parenIs,
Ihis could include grandparenIs, sIepparenIs, aunIs and uncles,
IosIer parenIs, adopIive parenIs, and any oIher person who
IulIls a signiIcanI porIion oI Ihe parenIing and caregiving Ior
Ihe child.
Aki was exciIed because she
knew IhaI someIhing special
was abouI Io happen. She
waiIed Ior her moIher, Hanae.
Aki knew IhaI Ihey were abouI
Io have some Iun IogeIher.
Hanae Iound Aki waiIing in Ihe
living room.
Hanae: Come on, Aki.
lI's baIhIime.
Aki Iook her moIher's hand and
Iollowed her Io Ihe baIh, which
was ready and warm and soapy,
jusI Ihe way she liked iI. She
goI in and grabbed Croco, her
squeezy crocodile baIh Ioy.
Hanae: So whaI did Croco do
Ioday, Aki?
Aki (laughing): Well, he sang
abouI Ihe Iarm animals.
Hanae: Oh, do you mean Old
MacDonald?
Aki: Yes!
Hanae: Shall we sing iI now?
Aki: Yes!
Aki and Hanae sang Old
MacDonald IogeIher while Aki
splashed around wiIh Croco and
Hanae helped her preIend IhaI
Ihe baIh was a Iarm. lI was like
Ihis every evening when iI was
baIhIime and Aki knew iI was
also Iheir special Iime IogeIher.
|usI her and mummy.
Akis story
KidsMatter Early Childhood - www.kidsmatter.edu.au
What are healthy family
relationships?
HealIhy Iamily relaIionships help
all members oI a Iamily Ieel saIe
and connecIed Io one anoIher.
Family relaIionships someIimes
involve conIicI, which is a normal
parI oI Iamily liIe. ConIicIs can
occur beIween adulIs, children
or adulIs and children. Some
examples oI conIicIs could be
disagreemenIs abouI household
chores, parenIing decisions, house
rules or siblings wanIing Io waIch
diIIerenI 1v shows or noI wanIing
Io share Ioys. lI is imporIanI IhaI
Ihese conIicIs are dealI wiIh in a
saIe and respecIIul way. HealIhy
Iamily relaIionships also mean
IhaI posiIive inIeracIions beIween
Iamily members ouInumber Ihe
diIIculI Iimes.
Why are healthy family relationships
important?
1he relaIionships we experience wiIh Ihe people around us have
a greaI inIuence on our wellbeing. SIrong, posiIive relaIionships
help us build IrusI and Ieel supporIed. Having people around
us who can share posiIive and diIIculI Iimes can also help us
manage sIress when Ihings become Iough.
Children IrsI learn abouI relaIionships Irom Iheir own Iamilies.
Families give Ihem a model Irom which Ihey sIarI Io discover
how Io build relaIionships IhroughouI Iheir lives. Children who
have a model oI healIhy relaIionships Irom Iheir Iamilies are
beIIer able Io creaIe Ihese relaIionships ouIside Iheir Iamilies,
IhaI is, wiIh oIher children and adulIs in Iheir lives. When
children learn Ihe skills oI building posiIive relaIionships, Ihey
can pracIise Ihese skills over and over again as Ihey meeI new
people. For example, when parenIs say 'Ihank you' Io children
when Ihey help ouI, Ihen children are more likely Io say 'Ihank
you' when Iheir peers or oIher adulIs do someIhing Ior Ihem.
Children also Ieel saIe when Ihey know IhaI Iheir Iamily
members love and will proIecI one anoIher. A warm and saIe
Iamily environmenI helps children learn, develop and experience
whaI sIrong relaIionships look like.
Information for families and early childhood staff Component 3 - Working with parents and carers
How to build healthy family relationships
Building and mainIaining posiIive relaIionships wiIh children
and wiIh all Iamily members is noI always easy. All Iamilies
have Iimes when Iempers Iare, Ieelings geI hurI and
misundersIandings occur. lI helps Io have good communicaIion,
IexibiliIy and creaIiviIy Io manage Ihese siIuaIions and mainIain
posiIive connecIions.
CulIural background, Iamily values and diIIerences in Iamily
makeup (e.g., sole parenIs, sIep and blended Iamilies,
samesex parenIs) can inIuence Ihe values and goals adulIs
have Ior children's developmenI. 1his may also lead Io diverse
relaIionship and supporI needs. Consider, Ior example, how
your Iamily values and culIural background has inIuenced your
Ihinking and behaviour.
Making Iime Ior Iamily members,
communicaIing eIIecIively and
supporIing each oIher are
imporIanI ways Io sIrengIhen
Iamilies and build posiIive
relaIionships. Working IogeIher
as a Iamily is also helpIul in
building sIrong and caring Iamily
relaIionships. ln Iimes oI conIicI,
Iamilies who are able Io work
IogeIher Ind eIIecIive ways
Io manage and learn Irom Ihe
experience. As conIicI is a normal
and healIhy parI oI Iamily liIe,
children can learn Io manage
iI. ParenIs and carers can help
children idenIiIy Ihe problem
behind Ihe conIicI and guide Ihem
Ihrough a process oI peaceIul
problem solving.
The KidsMatter Early Childhood information sheets are resources that have been developed in collaboration and with funding from the Australian Covernment Department of Health
and Ageing. While every care has been taken in preparing this publication, the Commonwealth does not accept liability for any injury or loss or damage arising from the use of, or
reliance upon, the content of this publication.
This resource and further
information on the
nationaI KidsMatter EarIy
ChiIdhood initiative is
avaiIabIe to downIoad at
www.kidsmatter.edu.au.
The KidsMatter EarIy
ChiIdhood team aIso
weIcomes your feedback
which can be submitted
through the website.
KidsMatter Early Childhood - www.kidsmatter.edu.au
Some Iips Ior building healIhy Iamily relaIionships:
1ry Io spend regular qualiIy Iime IogeIher as a whole
Iamily and wiIh each child, even iI iI is Ior a Iew minuIes
each day.
Show aIIecIion (e.g., hugs, kisses, kind words or a paI
on Ihe back).
OIIer help and supporI Io one anoIher.
Do Iun Ihings and laugh IogeIher.
Share values and engage in Iamily riIuals (e.g., Iamily
dinners, weekend walks or movie nighIs) Io build a
sense oI belonging.
1alk Io each oIher.
1ell each oIher whaI you like abouI your Iamily (e.g.,
'Dad, l like your hugs,' or 'Cara, you have a poliIe voice').
Have Iamily discussions Io organise Iamily evenIs and Io
work Ihrough diIIculIies.
1ry Io lisIen, undersIand and respecI each oIher's
Ieelings.
1ry Io include children in decisions aIIecIing Ihem; give
younger children choices Io help Ihem make a decision.
1each and model problemsolving skills Io children so
Ihey become more conIdenI aI resolving Iheir own
conIicIs.
SeI examples and send clear messages Io children so
Ihey learn how Io IreaI Iamily members (e.g., speaking
in a calm voice even when you disagree wiIh a Iamily
member).
Pecognise and appreciaIe
IhaI everyone in Ihe Iamily
will have diIIerenI likes,
needs and wanIs and Ihis
may someIimes creaIe
challenges wiIhin Ihe
Iamily.
CeI supporI Irom Iamily,
Iriends or proIessionals
when you need help
juggling demands.