Disillusionment: I didnt know what I didnt know until I knew something new

MATC Synthesis Paper

In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the
Master of Arts Degree in Curriulum and Teahing
Department of Teaher !duation" Mihigan State #ni$ersity
Ashten %& %ohnson
May '(" ')*+
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Pre-MATC Program Views
I would onsider myself a self,assured person" a -elie$er in the power I hold as an
eduator& .rowing up" I worked hard" stri$ing to meet eah goal with suh fer$or/ it ould only
-e desri-ed as passion& Things typially worked out for me" I was suessful& My good fortune
0paired with ehoes of" 12ou deser$e it345 has helped shape my onfident personality& I was
$aleditorian of my Middle Shool" won a sholarship to a prestigious ollege preparatory high
shool" and was gi$en full sholarships to two small" li-eral arts olleges -eause of my
aademi standing& 6ot only did aademis ome easily to me" -ut so did other urriulum& I
always 7umped to a 8arsity team after trying out for %unior 8arsity" won grants for theater trips"
and ne$er auditioned for a dane ompany" piee" or show that I did not get& 9eause things
seemed to work out for me" I de$eloped a self,onfident personality& There is" howe$er a fine
line -etween onfidene and arrogane" and -efore I entered MS#s MATC program" I was lose
to rossing it&
After undergrad" I entered my lassroom" staff meetings" onferenes" and professional
de$elopment sessions with the same passion I had pursued all of my life am-itions" always
gi$ing *:);& Still" I am the first person to enter my shool e$ery morning and the last to lea$e
e$ery e$ening& Teahing is truly a alling to me" not 7ust a $oation& The day flies -y when I am
in the lassroom& !ah day is different/ you ne$er know how your students may surprise you& I
know who I am as a teaher" I take pride in working hard" and I am metiulous in planning and
refleting on the day&
I ha$e -een in the same harter aademy for fi$e years" and I think the shool has -oosted
not 7ust my onfidene" -ut also me ego& I didnt reei$e my first teahing 7o- with a normal
ontrat offer& <onestly" we dont e$en ha$e ontrats at our harter shool/ teahers are more
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like pawns in a game of hess& I started working at the shool as a long,term gym teaher for =,
>" then took on a long,term seond grade teahing position in the winter for a teaher that was
out on maternity lea$e& 9eause of my suess in the lassroom" I was asked to stay on as the
permanent seond grade teaher while the former teaher was reloated to the li-rary& As you
an imagine" this reated a great onfidene -ooster at the start of my teahing areer& Although
hallenges ourred" I onstantly e?periened suess and affirmation from administration&
Students were reloated into my lassroom from teahers whom had fi$e or si? years seniority
o$er me -eause I ould manage their -eha$ior and form relationships& I was made .rade @e$el
Chair the third year at my shool o$er a teaher whom had -een there ten& I was asked to -eome
head of the shool wide -eha$ior management program& Anytime state eduation offiials or
heads of the harter shool ame to e$aluate the shools performane the prinipal sheduled
them to sit in on one of my lassroom lessons& I e$en had a student teaher from a ommunity
ollege o-ser$e me weekly& A-$iously" I was thrilled that my hard work and efforts were -eing
notied& <owe$er" I feel this led to issues of -eoming o$er onfident&
Current Views
As I started the MATC program" I felt as if I was already a master teaher -eause of my
inreased onfidene -ased on ontinued affirmation in life& It seemed like I had learned
e$erything there was to learn from the eduators I respeted in my -uilding and was learly
doing well enough to lead others& I felt self,assured that I was using -est praties in my
lassroom& I started the MATC program for the salary inrease that went along with the
eduation ad$anement" the realiBation that a masters degree would pro$ide more 7o-
opportunities" and the ease of updating my teahing liense&
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After the first semester in the MATC program" howe$er" I realiBed I had greatly mistaken
my own e?pertise and underestimated the opportunities this program offered me& @ooking -ak
on my own nai$ety at the start of this program" I realiBe I needed to -e e?posed to a $ariety of
things I did not already know in order to -etter myself as an eduator& <ow do you know what
-est praties or researh to model your teahing after if you do not e$en know it e?istsC This
program has done more for me as an eduator than I e$er imagined& My ritial thinking and self
refletion skills ha$e inreased& My e?posure to -est praties has aused my -rain to stay on
o$erdri$e with ideas& Dinally" I ha$e ome to realiBe that the self,assurane I one plaed on my
literary teahing skills was ill ad$ised& I was not e$en lose to -eing the teaher then that I am
now&
6ow" at the ompletion of the MATC program" I ha$e gained perspeti$e on what real
onfidene is& I still remem-er my first lass and the wakeup all I reei$ed when asked to
omplete an ation researh pro7et 0Artifat *5& I really did not know e$erything3 The pro7et
was a learning e?periene for me in many ways& Dirstly" although I was a refleti$e pratitioner" I
ne$er took the time to find researh to -ak up any ation plan& I simply used trial and error to
sol$e lassroom pro-lems -ased on a gut instint or -y listening to other teahers& 6ow" when I
hange my pratie" I ha$e researh and theories to -ak up my rational& My onfidene now has
support&
This idea of now ha$ing warranted onfidene is really how I ha$e transformed as an
eduator during my time in the MATC program& Dor instane" although I thought my lassroom
writing workshops were strong pre,MATC program" I was a-le to get a different outlook on
writing workshop -y ompleting my own .enre Portfolio 0Artifat >5& I am a -etter teaher now
-eause I not only understand how to reate a good writers workshop" -ut I ha$e a deeper le$el
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of understanding of the writing proess& Dor instane" I now realiBe that most of the writers time
should -e spent in the prewriting phase and that writing is really a ylial proess& A writer
should -e editing and re$ising as they go through the different stages of writing&
%ust as I had gained a -etter understanding of Eriters Eorkshop" so too did my
knowledge a-out struggling literay learners inrease& This happened to me when I ompleted
my @iteray @earner Analysis Pro7et too 0Artifat '5& In the past I had used assessment to figure
out students strengths and weaknesses when it ame to reading& <owe$er" for me it really ended
at that point& I knew what areas students struggled with and would speak to parents a-out that at
onferenes or use my assessments when filling in students I!P desription& This pro7et made
me realiBe I was missing two -ig piees out of my assessment& The first ma7or piee -eing that I
needed to reate speifi lesson plans to saffold student learning to master an area of onern&
Seondly" I ne$er thought how helpful information a-out a students family ould -e in
understanding the students reading moti$ation& The student I hose to analyBe" for e?ample" had
a younger sister whom was surpassing him aademially in the area of reading& It was
enlightening to realiBe that muh of the students low self,esteem issues stemmed from this&
6ow" I realiBe the proedural steps you need to go throw to not only analyBe -ut help a
struggling reader&
A few lasses in my MATC program really hanged and enhaned my eduational
knowledge& The ontent of the lasses was not only interesting" -ut aused me to question my
pre$ious understanding& T!,>+F was one suh lass& As a teaher who uses literature to enhane
many lessons" I was a -it shoked how little I thought a-out what literature really is until taking
this lass& I always thought of literature as a time mahine" a-le to transport the reader to a new
plae or time& 9y writing my @iterature Position Paper 0Artifat +5" I managed to hone my own
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understanding of the power of literature& I realiBe that literature is so muh more than that& It is a
historial timeta-le" a disussion piee" the enterpiee of hange" and a way to redue
stereotypes The $alues I plae on literature are why -ooks will fore$er -e at the enter of my
lassroom&
In this lass I was also hallenged -y my understanding of multiultural literature& At first
I thought the definition simply meant -ooks from different ultures& After one learning module
howe$er" my pre$ious definition was thrown out& <ow ould I e$er ha$e thought I had a
legitimate working definition of multiultural literatureC After all" arent we all from $aried
-akgrounds in the #nited StatesC <ow ould I -e so self entered to think that multiultural
literature has to do with ultures other than those I identify with& My Multiultural @iterature
Gefletion 0Artifat :5" ga$e me the hane to define multiultural literature as literature that
identifies with one or more minority groups not urrently in power& It also made me realiBe that I
am now an ad$oate for the use of multiultural literature& I ha$e learned the importane of
orretly representing minorities and that some multiultural literature an atually stereotype
minorities with damaging onsequenes& True multiultural literature should -e empowering to
those it represents and well researhed -y the author&
I lo$e that the MATC program pro$ided me with the opportunity to researh and del$e
deeper into this idea of multiultural literature& In T!,>+:" @anguage Di$ersity and @iteray
Instrution" I was a-le to reate a professional de$elopment lesson plan to draw teahers
attention to the issue of ultural stereotypes in lassroom -ooks and the importane of reading
aurate multiultural literature in the lassroom 0Artifat H5& 6ot only was I a-le to draw on the
knowledge learned in my pre$ious MATC ourse to enhane my presentation" -ut I was gi$en an
opportunity to spend more time learning a-out a su-7et I had not pre$iously realiBed I was
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passionate a-out& The professional de$elopment lesson was not only an important milestone to
me -eause it was something I was interested in" -ut it also made a differene at my shool& It
was empowering to share the professional de$elopment lesson with my staff& This lesson helped
me make the onnetion to the Ipu-lishing my students do with writing piees& I wanted to
perfet this lesson -eause I knew that my olleagues would see it& This is similar to my students
perfeting their writing -efore it goes in our hallway for pu-lishing parties& This is one of the
ways the MATC program has made me a refleti$e pratitioner&
The MATC program has not only helped me ritially analyBe what I teah" -ut also the
method I should use& T!,>*>" Curriulum In Its Soial Conte?t really opened up my eyes to what
Curriulum is& I ha$e always looked at Curriulum as urriulum" ne$er realiBing that the apital
1C4 ould transform its definition so drastially 0Artifat >5& Dor students to truly -e pro$ided a
well rounded Curriulum there is more to think a-out than 7ust fats and omprehension&
Students -enefit from moral fous" disipline" group work" ritial thinking skills" and a $ariety
of elements that do not neessarily need to ome from a te?t -ook& This lass showed me what I
was e?posed to in my hildhood to make who I am today" and how the e?traurriular ati$ities I
was in$ol$ed in enhaned my own eduation& This made me think a-out the students I ha$e in
my lassroom& Their parents -oth work" often night shifts" and they are left on their own& Their
typially pastime is $ideo games& Their parents know they are safe in the house and $ideo games
keep them entertained for hours& I think a-out the sports" theater" and souting e$ents these
students are missing and how this will impat them in the lassroom& Although I annot retify
years of missed opportunities" I feel e$en more 7ustified in using ati$e play" group work" and
ritial thinking skills in my lesson plans&
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Curriulum $s& urriulum was not my only -ig 1ah,ha4 moment o$er the ourse of the
MATC program& @earning a-out Inquiry Cirles through a 9ook Clu- en$ironment also made a
-ig impat& I had used Inquiry Cirles in the past" howe$er" they were primarily used for @iteray
Cirles or Siene !?periments& Teahers in my shool rarely use inquiry learning so I ne$er had
guidane or peers to -oune ideas off of& Eith students in the MATC program I was a-le to read
a -ook a-out inquiry and disuss my thinking& I did not realiBe all the -enefits of inquiry learning
and really want to do more in my teahing& Ane of the most important lessons I learned was that
a hange to inquiry learning does not need to happen in e$ery su-7et all at one& In order to -e
suessful" you may start with one inquiry pro7et a year& This was -enefiial ad$ie for me"
sometimes I push full speed ahead and end up with a produt that is less than desira-le or I 7ust
get -urnt out& 9y learning a-out Inquiry Cirles in a -ook lu- format" I was a-le to synthesiBe
the information through disussions" I now ha$e a $ery strong handle on what Inquiry Cirles
are& Eith the ompletion of our -ook lu-s information we-site" 0Artifat J5 I know I will -e
a-le to refresh my memory later on& I lo$ed learning a-out inquiry pro7ets while -eing part of an
inquiry group at the same time&
Future Goals
Eith the ompletion of the MATC program a hapter of my life has ended& I feel
aomplished& 2et" I feel as if I am a first year teaher again& I ha$e so many ideas" new
strategies I want to try" tehnology to use& I know that my summer will in$ol$e re$amping my
urriulum& I need to make sure to reate two inquiry pro7ets& I also need to speak with my
prinipal a-out doing so& Eill she mind my lesson plans simply say 1Inquiry A-out PlantsC4
Eill she question my methods" and what true inquiry is -y not pro$iding day -y day lesson
plansC I also need to figure out how to inorporate more award winning -ooks into my lassroom
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lessons as well as more multiultural literature& Speaking of multiultural literature" Im going to
need to pull the -ooks from my lassroom li-rary that stereotype ultures" I know there are a few
that depit 6ati$e Amerians with feathers and deer skin& I also want to make sure I find a way
to inorporate more -ook lu-s in my shool day& May-e" I should gear these toward nonfition
to help with the CCSS pushC
I know that while my lesson ontent may hange so will the pakaging& I want to
inorporate more of the tehnology I learned a-out in this MATC program& I ha$e already started
using %I6. $ideos to highlight Tier II $oa-ulary" -ut I know it an -e used for more& I also
think my lass we-site would look -etter if I used Eee-ly" it is also more user friendly& I also
hope to get more mirophones from the tehnology enter so students an reord their writing
piees and reate a PowerPoint instead of 7ust writing them now& This will help with dition and
flueny and -e apti$ating for our artisti" $isual" and auditory learners&
Although thinking a-out ways to inorporate what I ha$e learned through the MATC
program into my lassroom may seem like the most ommon thought proess& I ha$e also -een
thinking a-out the ne?t step in my life& Eith work" lasses" and my family" I ne$er sat down to
think a-out what was ne?t on the horiBon for me& !$en now" Im not entirely sure what my ten
year plan will look like& <owe$er" there are some things that the MATC program has helped me
solidify or stri$e for&
I know that I am meant to -e in shool" and that doesnt mean 7ust working in one& I
really lo$e to learn in an institution en$ironment& I appreiated the professors thought proess" I
en7oy hearing from peers" and I lo$e sharing my own thought proess& Eith that realiBation" I
would lo$e to ontinue my eduation 0when I ha$e proper funding to do so5& I would -e
interested in -eoming ertified in teahing tehnology or to -eome a reading speialist& If I had
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the money" I would take ourses indefinitely& <owe$er" sine I do not" I will -e finding other
ways to eduate myself&
My goal is to start a -ook lu- with faulty& I know that we" as teahers" rarely ha$e time
to -reath& <owe$er" our summers are a -it less heti and I think it would -e wonderful to start a
-ook lu- with teahers o$er the summer& I lo$ed the 9ook Clu- for inquiry irles and think
that another -ook on an instrutional method would -e worthwhile& As I mentioned -efore" I lo$e
to eduate myself" -ut I do -etter in an instrutional setting" may-e a -ook lu- would -e a happy
mediumC
I would also like to -e part of more PD planning for my staff& I really en7oyed speaking
with my peers to share information I learned in this MATC program& I reei$ed positi$e
feed-ak and many teahers thought the information was rele$ant to their lassroom 0whih is
not always the ase with professional de$elopment5& Although I know that I am not
knowledgea-le enough to always ha$e something to share" I realiBe that I ould olla-orate with
teahers in other master programs to see what information they ha$e to -etter the shool and our
teahing staff&
I would also like to -eome a mentor teaher& I know the importane a mentor an ha$e
on a teahers first few years in their own lassroom& I had the most amaBing mentor teaher
whom was instrumental in making me the teaher I am today& I would lo$e to use the same
ompassion" understanding" and helpfulness she showed me in supporting other teahers&
Conclusion
Although I do not know what my ten year plan will -e" I am onfident it will in$ol$e
teahing hildren& I am also onfident it will in$ol$e learning& Ane item reiterated time and again
in this program is that the world is e$er hanging& In order for me to -e the -est teaher I an -e I
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need to ontinually stay up to date on the -est praties& After all" I am not 7ust eduating
students" -ut our future leaders&