Revision Strategy for Rhetoric Analysis essay

Overall revisions:
Check the flow of sentences
Grammar issue
Cut down all the unnecessary and repetitive parts of the essay to keep the essay much
more focused and concise (indicated in the first draft)
Use concise and specific words
Introduction:
Explain some factors that lead to popularity of the detective genre
Separate paragraphs to show progress in developing thesis/ main idea
Revise thesis so that it is concise and thorough
Development Paragraphs:
Expand on three important cinematic elements in the analysis with more meaningful
details
Rearrange the sentences in a logical order to show deep analysis of each scene
1
st
body paragraph: Put emphasis on the technique of play and re-play of the scenes
2
nd
body paragraph: Focus on how the use of texts and camera angles illustrate Holmes
skills
Conclusion:
Refer back to my main idea which is how these scenes used cinematic elements to adapt
the convention to fit into a modern day medium
Explain how the genre evolved over time and retained its popularity
Prioritize:
1. Cut down all the unnecessary and repetitive parts of the essay to keep the essay much
more focused and concise (indicated in the first draft)
2. Revise thesis so that it is concise and thorough
3. Expand on three important cinematic elements in the analysis with more meaningful
details
4. 1
st
body paragraph: Put emphasis on the technique of play and re-play of the scenes
5. 2
nd
body paragraph: Focus on how the use of texts and camera angles illustrate Holmes
skills
6. Rearrange the sentences in a logical order to show deep analysis of each scene
7. Use concise and specific words
8. Explain some factors that lead to popularity of the detective genre
9. Refer back to my main idea which is how these scenes used cinematic elements to adapt
the convention to fit into a modern day medium
10. Explain how the genre evolved over time and retained its popularity
11. Check flow of sentences
12. Grammar issue