Markim Felix

Professor Lago
Experiences in Literature
May 3, 2014
What is Love?
Most of us cannot give a real definition of what love actually is. We all might even say we have
our own definition of what love is. Love doesnt have to be between a man and woman; love can be
between a female and another female, a man and another man or the other genders thats in-
between. There are even known cases where people marry actual objects which is called object
sexuality, which are people who are not attracted to people weather there male, female or other, but
fall in love with actual objects. Love doesnt have to be between significant others as well but you can
love your family, friends, pets, and a song. Love is very broad. The Bridegroom written by author Ha
Jin shows a great example of what love actually is.
In Ha Jins short story The Bridegroom Huang Bowen marries his friend Beina who has been
struggling to find a husband. They dont sleep in the same bed and neither of them is actually in love
with each other, yes they do love each other, however in love like you would with a significant other is
not the case. It turns out actually fairly close to the beginning of the story Bowen is a homosexual using
Beina as a cover up and Beina is just using Bowen just so she can have a husband. Back then
homosexuality was looked at as a disease. Bowen was looked at as mental and had to go through
different types of therapies like electroshock therapy. Electroshock therapy is mainly used to cure
depression and is not a pretty sight to see. Of course none of these therapies worked because
homosexuality is something you are born with nor can you help who you fall in love with or what sex
you are attracted to. Doctor Mai stated Homosexuality isnt an illness, so how can it have a cure? (376)
you simply cant treat something that is not an illness.
Beinas foster father believes Beina is the craziest thing walking. Why exactly? Well since
homosexuality was frowned upon, Beinas father could not understand exactly how she can be so ok
with her husband being a homosexual. Beina said to her father Dont feel so bad uncle, in fact hes
better than a normal man (370). Beina sees Bowen as just a good husband and a good man, not a
homosexual. My point is, although Beina and Bowen do not sleep in the same bed as well as being more
like friends than an actual married couple, Beina still sticks to Bowens side. That shows the love she has
for Bowen and their friendship, what he is attracted to do not matter to her.
As you can see not even I can give an exact definition of what love actually is. In love is the
strongest of all love. In love are also the one that hurts the most and the love you have no control over.
My parents always told me the struggle they went through as an interracial couple, but why care about
what other people think if you are in love. Point is falling in love is something you cannot help. When
you see someone youre in love with you instantly get butterflies and your mood can go three hundred
and sixty degrees, of course thats just the honeymoon stage. Love I have for my family is permanent
because usually no matter how much your parents, children, and siblings get on your nerves you will
hopefully still always love them.
Loves meaning is so broad I feel as if it can never be defined. No matter what it says in the
dictionary, everyone will have their own meaning. Everyone simply feels different on the actual meaning
because everyone has their own feelings. If youre really in love with someone however, it should not
matter whether youre a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple, your still going to have that same
in love feeling because love is love.