Day a monkey kicked a sarder on his back and run away.

Sarder run to catch him and find a zebra in the field.Sarder kicked the zebra on his back and said " Salla Trackshut pahenke dhoka de raha tha..." By Deb Sankar A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, aiter comes with the order, Surdar!"ur#i di taan# kithe hai$ aiter! oh lan#ra tha. Surdar! Dil$ aiter!Dil mur#i le #ayee. Surdar! Dimaa#$ aiter! "ur#a SA%DA% tha&Tanzil "inhas SA%DA%!! Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi 'al rahi S() !! kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon Arsalan Shaka This sardar'i #oes to see *urassic +ark and when the Dinosaurs start approachin#, he was hidin# under his seat when his friend asks him ,kyon sardar'i, kya baat hai$ Dar kyon la# raha hai cinema hi to hai., Sardar'i replies ,Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin -oh to 'anwar hai, usko kya pata"kun'a-a There.s a funeral procession of a sardar #oin# on a busy street. All the sardars in the .mayyat. are dancin# the bhan#ra and sin#in# and #eneral .balle balle. is on. The people on the street find it stran#e that instead of mournin# e-eryone is celebratin# as if its marria#e baraat. So one of them asks Santa Sin#h, ,Sin#h Saab, aapka koi sa#e wala #u'ar #aya hai aur aap naach rahe ho$, .....comes the reply, ,/aan 'i& /ai hi baat badi kushi ki&&& Aa' paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai&&&, kun'a-a (ne day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. " hat the #uys are doin#" asked the sardar. " e are runnin# a marathon. The winner will #et prize" replied one runner. "(nly the winner will #et prize& Then why others are participatin#&&" 01claimed the Sardar kun'a-a Sardar'i calls Air 2ndia. "/ow lon# does it take to fly to Amritsar$" "*ust a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and han#s up.kun'a-a hy did 34 Sardars #o to a mo-ie$ Because below 34 was not allowed.kun'a-a Sardar'i fi1ed an answerin# machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was #ettin# complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai #har pe nahin hai."kun'a-a A SA%DA% 2S S2)5 A +AT%2(T26 S()57""08 "0%0 9ATA) :0 ;(5() *A%A AA2):/ "02) B/A% ;( +A)2, *( S/A/00D /<80 /A2) <):00, T<SS2 5/A% ;0 AA( "*A)A)2" " Sardar 'i, Bha#wan mu'he dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mu'he barbad kar de,mere piche B/oot la#a de, Bhabwan,abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye. maham khan A sardar'i Doctor falls in ;o-e with a )urse./e writes a lo-e letter to the )urse !7 2 ;o-e < sister....=(;2S A

Sardar 'i Aapko lo#o ne kyun mara $ Sardar " yaar "eri +hoto Bas main 5ir 5ayi To "aine "adam Se :aha >ara Sadi <par :aro +hoto ;ena /ai".sura' 0k sardar 2ndian ?la# lene shop mein #aya tha. Shopwale ne usse fla# diya. Sardar bola! 2sme aur colour dikhao&&& Siki 0k american ek sardar se kaha hamare yahan saadi e7mail se bhi hoti hai isper sardar bola kamal hai hamare yahan to sirf female se hoti hai Sam @ABC32CC@2

(ne tourist from <.S.A. asked to Sardar! Any #reat man born in this -illa#e$$$ Sardar! no sir, only small Babies&&&roshan After returnin# back from a forei#n trip, sardar asked his wife, Do 2 look like a forei#ner$ ife! )o& hy$ Sardar! 2n ;ondon a lady asked me Are you a forei#ner$roshan Teacher to Sardar! rite your best friend.s name in 0n#lish. Sardar wrote! . Beautiful %ed <nderware. Teacher! hat$ Sardar! /is name is Sundar ;al 6haddi roshan "ana#er asked to sardar at an inter-iew 6an you spell a word that has more than 3DD letters in it$ Sardar replyed! 7+7(7S7T7B7(7=.roshan 2nter-iewer! what is your birth date$ Sardar! 3@th (ctober hich year$ Sardar! (ye ullu ke pathe E E E 090%8 80A% roshan Sardar orders pizza. aiter! Sir shud i cut it into A pieces or into 4 pieces$ Sardar! A hi karde 4 khaye nahi 'ayen#e nikki Sardar to 5irlfriendF Darlin# main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta #harwale mana karrahe hai. 5irlfriendF Tumhare #har me kaun kaun hai. SardarF 3 biwi aur @ bacche marriam A sardar'i Doctor falls in ;o-e A sardar'i Doctor falls in ;o-e with a )urse./e writes a lo-e letter to the )urse !7 2 ;o-e < sister....subs Sardar'i, tell me ...., what is the meanin# of S"S $ Sardar an#rily said, i know 7 it means.... S 7 Sardaron ke " 7 "azak udane ki S 7 Ser-ice (sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K Sardar returns book to library, ban#s it on table L says 7 hat a shit $

"2 read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" $. ;ibrarian ! So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K A sardar on an inter-iew for the post of detecti-e was asked a Muestion 2nter-iewer 7 ho killed 5andhi'i $ Sardar 7 Thanks for #i-in# me the 'ob, 2 will in-esti#ate(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K Sardar car ki battery chan#e karwane #aya ... "echanic 7 Sahab, 01ide ki daal doon $ Sardar 7 )ahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem ho#i.(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K (nce a sardar was lookin# at a A)T0D poster L was wonderin# 7 Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use 'aane kyon diya $(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K in an inter-iew, inter-iewer! /ow does an electric motor run$ SA%DA%! dhuurrrrrrrrrr.. 2nter-iewr shouts! stop it & SA%DA%! dhurr dhup dup dup dup..2ndra'eet : Sardar'i went to party and introduced his family to his friends. 2 am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney. D@234AC3222 kina Sardar Apni ife :e Sath 6offee Shop 5aya, hot 6offee order :i, 6offee Atte /i wife Se Bola *aldi *aldi pee. ife Boli :yu$ Sardar Bola /ot coffe %s. B and 6old 6offee %s. 3D.DD D@234AC3222 kina sardar. to his friend!yaar bari mushkil main hoon mairi Bi-i mu'h say aik kiss ka %S.3DD laiti hay friend.Acha,yaar to baara lucky hay dosron sey woh BDDaiti hai sadif,D@ABBHIHDDH. hat is 6ommon between ! :rishna, %am, 5andhi'i L *esus..$ Sardar 'i %eplied ! All are Born on 5o-ernment /olidays. (sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K +remika7Tum to bas apne kaam me la#e rehte ho.."eri to koi prwah hi nhi he tumhe&Srdar +remi7 (ye, +yar krne wale kisi ki prwah )ahi karte do# Sardar apni B2B2 k sath TA=2 me baitha.Dri-er ne aaina set kiya. 8e dekhte hi SA%DA% #usse me bola"eri B2B2 ko D0:/TA hai, piche BA2T/. Ta1i me 6/A;A<)5A do# 2sardars #o for a dri-e. . . . (80 zara khidki ke bahar dekhi indicators workin# or not. . . sardar puts his head out L says yes..)o..8es..)o..8es..)o..do# Sardar apni 5irl?riend ko i lo-e u kehta aur #ir 'ata.2 lo-e u kehta aur fir #ir 'ata. 5irl! ye :ya kar rahe ho Sardar! i m fallin# in lo-e.)e0rA' Ba#Di8a ek sardar ne 0k 6ow ke kiss kar le. oor sath main he Toooba karny la#y k 5uru nanak # "u'y

maaf kar dain mairy zehan main shaitanGde-ilK aa #iya tha, <ssy waMt Shaitan /azir ho #iya oor Sardar se kehny la#a, (yee <llu : +athy yeh 'o harkat tum ne ke yeh yeh harkat to mairy zehan main b nahe the hamid ali D@D2II@ADIC A sardar saw a board on which it was written " padhne wala stupid". Sardar #ot irritated and wrote "likhan wala stupid" (sman GD@D37A4HIIDC ND@ABABIIIA3K 0k Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,6 Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mu'y C tak aty hia.. Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee <llu k pathy C A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,"ain ata hai!Khamid ali D@D2II@ADIC sardar # nay hotel may aik aissie larki ki demand ki 'issay A2DS ho wa'ah poochi tu sardar # nay kaha"mere say meri biwi ko aids homeri biwi say mere bhai ko,bhai say bhabi ko,bhabi say,papa ko,papa say mama ko,mama say parosee ko, tab usay pata chalay #a k sardar ki maan saay se1 karnay ka kiya in'aam hota hai sony

abhi subah ko yad aate :abhi subah ko yad aate ho.:abhi sham ko yad ate ho.:abhi kabhi itne yad aate ho.:i aina hum dekhte hai.)azar ap aate ho.By Baasha "ein Tumhare ;iye Sab :uch :arta. "ein Tumhare ;iye Sab :uch :arta.."a#ar "u'he :aam Tha...... "ein Tumhare ;iye Doob :e "arta..."a#ar "u'he >ukham Tha &By Baasha /ar karz dosti ka ada kaun kare#a$ /ar karz dosti ka ada kaun kare#a$ /um na rahe to dosti kaun kare#a$ 0 khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna, arna meri shaadi mein dance kaun kare#a$ By Ali "era' Tere D2; mein rahen#e S"S Tere D2; mein rahen#e S"S bankar,Dhadkano mein ba'en#e %2)5T()0 bankar,:abhi apne D2; se 'uda mut Sama'ana,/um tere saath chalen#e )0T (%: bankar By Ali "era' ho sonay ki or ho dilkash ho sonay ki or ho dilkash ......kia #habra #aye...aray yaar man#ani pay aisi an#othi pehnai 'ati hay naa....am i ri#ht$ forward this messa#e to 3D person your en#a#ement chances will be increase...By <mair Butt kisi ko ashiM banaya kisi nay kisi ko ashiM banaya kisi nay ...kisi ko ashiM banaya tum nay...kisi ko ashiM banaya sab nay ...but larkioon ko ashiM banay imran hashmi nay....By <mair Butt woh tanhai ki raat woh bhee#i woh tanhai ki raat woh bhee#i sohani raat ...'ab tum thay or hum bhi saat ..dil karta tha teray hoont chomoon ....'ab hoti thi tere 'ism ki baatBy <mair Butt nazre mila kar unhe chura nazre mila kar unhe chura mat lena, dost bana kar dushman mat bana lena, maana ki bohat door rehte hai apse, isi ka bahana kar ke bula mat dena..By Shehzadi ak larki the dewani se ak larki the dewani se ,mobile se khelti thi,shaid kuch khana tha usa ma#ar na 'ana kis se derti thi,nazrain 'huka ka kuch kha karte the,'ab bhi milti the yahi kaha karte thi," 8A () :ASA /(TA /A" By Sunny tu'hy shhuny ko dil kry tu'hy shuny ko dil krey .tu'hy pany ko dil krey .'o bat mare dil ma base wo btany ko dil kry that 2 ;(90 < L "2SS < A ;(T by Bene armaan itnay #ayhray hoey armaan itnay #ayhray hoey khood ko bhola diya ....'o diya tha rab ne pyar se oss ko #anwa diya.... by fazal #ilani

reit par naam kabhi likhte nahi reit par naam kabhi likhte nahi, reit pe likhe naam kabhi tikte nahi, lo# kehte hai hum patthar dil hai, par patthar pe likhe naam kabhi mit7te nahi. by +ersoon D(ST27:aho to do lafz D(ST27:aho to do lafz,"ano to band#i,Soch to #ehra sa#ar,Dubo to zinda#i,:aro to aasan,)ibhao to mushkil,Bikhre tu sara zamana,Smte to S2%? T<". by ?arah 2/ath na ho to dosti nahin hoti, 2/ath na ho to dosti nahin hoti, 2/urf na ho to lafz nahin banty, 2Dama# na ho to sum'hota nahin hota, 2+hool na ho to #uldasta nahin banta, 2Dil na ho to humara ye pyar na banta.by ?arah Tu chunder mukhi, main suura' mukhi, Tu chunder mukhi, main suura' mukhi, tu mu' se dukhi main tu' se dukhi, aao dono shut se shalan# la#ain, phir tum bi sukhi, main bi sukhi By Shabnum

SA%DA%)2 SA8!7 a'i sunday o..A' @ dako aaye see.. unhaan nay mere izat lut laee 'ay. SA%DA% SA8!7 toon onhaan noo rokya naeen....$ SA%DA%)2 %0+;20S!7 bohot rokya see... per o rukay e naeen.... kehen la#ay /<) SA)( *AA) DA8...ASS2 T/A: 5A00 AA) aamirmultan D@23I@2AIHI do sardar 'a rahah hote hain,k samne se eik pre#nant auorat aa rahih hoti hai,sardar dousre sardar se khata hain kiyaa is ko bhi laal chuti ne kaata hain 'a'i khan G D@AB 2DCA3ADK A sardar married to a short #irl.people asked to sardar why you married such a short #irl. /e replied our #uru #ee says maseebat 'itni choti ho utna he acha hota hay. Ali 2mranGBankerKD@DDA@3@DDA /8 AS SA%DA% *00 A%%0ST0D 2) A +(;2T26A; %A;;8. B06(> /0 SA A 52%; 5(2)5 A%(<)D 2T/ A BAD50 () /0% 6/0ST /26/ SA2D"+%0SS" A)D SA%DA% *00 +%0SS0D 2T.Ali 2mranGBankerKD@DDA@3@DDA ek sardar shadi se phley apni bewi ko #ana sunata hai mera mehbob mary sanam or sahdi key bad mai kery pasey 'awona mai man'i kethy dawna *unaid Azhar ?ull )ame! nibras7D@23B3D3AAA ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha... saari zinda#i sochta raha aur sochtay sochtay hi mar #aya k meri behan k @ bhai hain tau mere 2 kyoun$$$$ ?ull )ame! nibras7D@23B3D3AAA a sardar on an inter-iew for the post of detecti-e was asked a Muestion. inter-iewer ! ho :illed 5andhi 5ee$ Sardar ! Thanks for #i-in# me the 'ob i will in-esti#ate. ?ull )ame! OPmQR SC2 GDK @ABA BIIIA3 2n aptitude test %i-er :a-eri is in which state$ Sardar! liMuid state. ?ull )ame! %a'a HA@3 Sardar 5et 0n#a#ed with #irl, soon he came 2 know she had no affair bA,

he brokn the relation e-ery 3 asked the reason&/e said "*( :2S2 (% :2 )A /( SA:2 (/ "0%2 :2A /(52" Sardar! +rito "0k wari 2 ;(90 8(< keh day" +rito! ")ahi Sharam Andi 0y" Sardar! ":eh Day )A" +rito! ")ahi )a" Sardar! "Dhake To ?ir "eri Bahen )ahi" Taabi Aamir a sardar bunked his office and went home and found his wife on bed with his boss.he run back and told his colea#ues !8AA% A* T< "20) BASS +A:A% 52A TA.

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is per#nant.She is ha-in# pain ri#ht now". Doctor! 2s this her first child$ 6opyri#ht www.lo-elysms.com Sardar! )o this is her husband speakin#............ 777 ?ull )ame! shashi 2 Sardars lookin# at 0#yptian mummy.Sardar3!;ook so many banda#es, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2! Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. B673HID&& 777 ?ull )ame! zubair "obile! D@AB7BD4ADH3 Sardar! ill u merry , after i die . ife ! )o i wiil li-e with my sister. ife ! ill u marry , after i die .6opyri#ht www.lo-elysms.com Sardar! )o i will also li-e with ur sister. 777 ?ull )ame! S"S :2)5 "obile! D@DD7AHCAI3D /ow do you make a Sardar lau#h on "Saturday"$ Tell him "a 'oke on Tuesday 777 ?ull )ame! aMar "obile! D@ABA@AHDCH or D@@AADB332@ Sardar'i is fillin# up a 'ob application........................... /e promptly fills in the lines on )ame, A#e, Addr,L etc. Then came the column Salary 01pected..................... After much thou#ht he writes! 8es............................. 777 ?ull )ame! aMar "obile! D@ABA@AHDCH or D@@AADB332@ A Sardar saw a Beautiful 5irl,he ent and :issed her. 5irl! "ST<+2D what r u doin#$" 6opyri#ht www.lo-elysms.com Sardar! B.6om final year" 777 ?ull )ame! 2rfan Sunpal

"obile! D@227I3DD@CB J D@DD7H@DD@@3 A sardar'i photo#rapher is focusin# a dead body.s face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relati-es beat him. why$ /e said "S"2;0 +;0AS0" ?ull )ame! 2rfan Sunpal "obile! D@227I3DD@CB J D@DD7H@DD@@3 teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writin# e1cept one Sardar'i. /e wrote "D<0 T( %A2), )( "AT6/&" ?ull )ame! 2rfan Sunpal "obile! D@227I3DD@CB J D@DD7H@DD@@3 0k sardar e1ame dene #aya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar #aya. #uess karo kyun le kar #aya$ aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper lea#e ho #aya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.Sonum.D@2DA34I3BB. Aik Sardar Apnae "arria#e 6ertificate ku 3 hour sae Dekh raha tha. Be#am Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say :ia Dekh %ahe /u$ Sardar Bola, 01piry Date Dekh raha hoon...... 777 ?ull )ame! Sonum "obile! D@2DA34I3BB SA%DA%)0 2 SA%D% SA%DA% 5 "A2) )0 A* +A)0 :( B0 A:((? BA)A8A SA%DA%. ( :A2SA8 SA%DA%)0. "A2) )0 +A)0 5A%A" :8A +0% T/A)DA8 S0 )A/A ;8A /A /A /A BAB;((.D@DAB2@CDH3 777 ?ull )ame! BAB;(( "obile! D@DAB2@CDH3 inter-iewee,wat z ur date of birth$sardar,no- 24.inter-iewer,which year$sardar,abey ullu e-eryyear. 6opyri#ht www.lo-elysms.com 777 ?ull )ame! mumo "obile! ooC3C4AC3DDDBI sardar'i Graste se 'ate samay friend se ek chi# dekhakeK! are yar main ese kahi dekha hain second sardar'i!han main bhi ese kahi dekha hain first sardar'iGuse sun#h kar K!are yar yad aaraha hain. second sardar'i!ha muse bhi yad aa raha hain. first saradar'i!test leta hain aur kahata hain are yar yah to #obar hain acha huaa main es per pair nahi diya. 777 ?ull )ame! shirya a #rl in a weddin# ceremony want 2 #o 2 da toilet. she asked a sardar, sardar'i su su kernay ki 'a#a dikhao. sardar replied u nau#hty #irl pehlay tum dikhao. 6opyri#ht www.lo-elysms.com 777 ?ull )ame! tayyab "obile! D@23A3AABIA

T%A2) Train station par ruki. 0k aadmi khidki ke paas baethe sardar se7 :aun sa station hai$Sardar bahar dekh kr kuch der soch kar "la# to %ailway Station raha hai".

SAnta BAnta *okes

Santa was ridin# on a horse. /e 'umped the red li#ht L a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse L says! .;e :arle )umber )ote. Santa sufferin# from cold was shi-erin#. /is son called a doc. Doc! wht happened$ Son! Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu sa-er da 92B%AT2() mode te la#aya hai *eeto L +reeto were talkin# about their new milkman. *eeto! /e.s -ery #ood lookin#, punctual L dresses so smartly. And so Muickly too&, said +reeto hile walkin# in the hi#hlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta! % u ok$ Santa! 8eah& Banta! Did u break anythin#$ Santa! )o, there.s nothin# down here Santa #oes to buy a underwear. (n choosin# one he asks! /ow much for this$ Shopkeeper! %s BDD Santa! Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, +arty wear nahin chahiye. Banta! (ye, tu to Doctor ke paas 'aane waala tha, kya hua$ Santa! 8aar kal 'aaon#a, aa' thodi tabiyat kharab hai. Santa was standin# in sun on a hot sunny day. Banta asked! hat are you doin#$ Santa! Dryin# sweat Santa was lookin# at a paintin# for a lon# time of a naked woman with lea-es co-erin# the body, he was asked what he was doin# and he answered! aitin# for autumn.

Santa went to see a #al for marria#e. Their families decided to lea-e them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks! Behen'i, tusin kinne behen7bhai ho$ 5irl! 9aise taan @ si, par hun A ho #aye. *eeto! yelled at Santa! <.re #onna b really sorry& 2.m #oin# to ;0A90 you& Santa! "ake up ur mind& hich one is it #onna be$ Santa! 2tne kam marks$ Do thappad marne chahiye. +appu! /aan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka #har bhi dekh rakha hai. Santa waitin at bus stop in <: alon# with @ women. hen bus arri-ed, conductor picked the women L said! )o more, no more ;ady to inspector Santa! "y husband went to buy potatoes B days a#o, he hasn.t come back yet& Santa! hy don.t u cook somethin# else. A lady calls Santa for repairin# door bell. Santa doesnTt turns up for A days. ;ady calls a#ain, Santa replies! 2.m comin# daily since A days, 2 press the bell but no one comes out Banta! Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho$ Santa! 0k truck dri-er meri biwi lekar bhaa# #aya tha, har baar la#ta hai 'aise usko -apas karne aya hai. Banta sent sms to Santa! Bhe'newala mahan, padhnewala #adha. Santa #ot an#ry and replied! Bhe'newala #adha, padhnewala mahan. U! hy did Santa throw the butter out of the window$ A! /e wanted to see butterfly& )urse! 6on#rats Santa 'i, aap papa ban #aye. Santa! "eri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dun#a& *eeto! 2 didn.t know you smoked. hen did you start$ +reeto! That ni#ht my husband came home early and found a ci#arette butt in the ashtray. +reeto 2 maid! (h :anta, 2 h- reason 2 suspect that Banta is ha-in# an affair with his secretary. :anta! 2 don.t belie-e it& < r 'ust tryin# 2 make me 'ealous. Santa standin# on platform suddenly 'umps on the railway track. Banta! Santa u.ll die. Santa! <.ll die bcoz ha-enTt u heard train is comin# on platform$ Santa L Banta #ot tired of mobile L decide 2 use pi#eons. 3day a pi#eon reaches Banta without messa#e. An#ry Banta calls Santa& Santa! (ye, this was a missed call. U! hy was Santa writin# the e1am near the door$ A! Because it was an entrance e1am. Santa! "y mother7in7law was bitten by a mad do#& Banta! (h& ThatTs terrible.

Santa! 8es, it was sad to watch the do# die in con-ulsions." *eeto! < tell a man somethin#, it #oes in one ear L comes out of the other. Santa! < tell a woman somethin#, it #oes in both ears L comes out of the mouth. Santa and *eeto were on an African Safari when a lion spran# out of nowhere L dra#ed *eeto with his 'aws. *eeto! Shoot him, Shoot him& Santa! 2 can.t. 2 ran out of film. hat.s ?ord$ Santa! 5aadi. hat.s (1ford$ Santa! So simple, Bail 5aadi

+appu while fillin# up a form! Santa! 9ery lon#.....&

hat should 2 write a#ainst mother ton#ue.$

Teacher! hat should be in a book to make it a bestseller$ +appu! A #irl on the co-er and no co-er on the #irl. Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha! <par kyon aaya$ Banta! Apple khane. Bandar! 8eh to aam ka ped hai. Banta! +ata hai, Apple saath laya hoon. +appu, while fillin# up a form! Dad, what should 2 write a#ainst mother ton#ue.$ Santa! 9ery lon#& Santa falls in lu- with a nurse... After much thinkin#, he finally writes a lo-e letter to her! "2 lu- u sister." )urse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her L after seein# the kid he shouted, +<TTA% hua +<TTA%. She slapped him! ;ea-e my fin#er, u fool, 2tTs a #al Santa! hat.s difference between man L Superman$ +appu! "an wears underwear under the trouser L superman wears it o-er the trouser. Santa went to battery shop n asked to chan#e battery. The shopkeeper asked! 01ide la#a du$ Santa! Dusri side tera baap la#aye#a kya$ Banta! "arte waMt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye$ Santa! Birla cement. Banta! :yun$ Santa! :yunki is 6ement mein 'aan hai. +reeto! %aat ko aap peeke #utter mein #ir #aye the.

Banta! :ya bataoon, sub #alat san#ati ka asar hai, hum A dost... 3 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin. Santa! hy Americans stop printin# stamps with photo of +amela Anderson$ Banta! 6oz people started lickin# the wron# side of it for pastin# them on the en-elopes. Dress code A a party 7 B;A6: T20S ();8. Banta #oes for the party L is surprised to see that the other #uests are wearin# S<2TS also& Santa was cau#ht for speedin# and went before the 'ud#e. The 'ud#e! hat.ll you take @D days or %s @DDD. Santa! 2 think 2.ll take the money. Santa! 2 kiss my wife e-eryday before lea-in# for office, what about u$ Banta! "e too, after u lea-e A lady asked Santa! ;2+T() di chah hai$ Santa replied! "ainu ta nahi hai 'i, tainu hai ta lipat 'a... (nce +rofessor Santa asked a plumber to come to his colle#e. 8ou know why$ Because he wanted to check from where the Muestion paper is leakin#. Banta! hy is the +olice nicknamed "The heart of the country"$ Santa! 2t beats, beats, beats.... Santa! "y dad was an e1tremely bra-e man. /e once entered a lion.s ca#e. Banta! /e probably #ot a lot of applause -en he #ot out. Santa! 2 didn.t say he #ot out.

+etrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola! ""enu koi farak nahin penda. +ehle bhi 3DD ka bharwata tha ab bhi 3DD ka bharwata hoon." Santa found answer to the most difficult Muestion e-er7 ( yaar, 'iska order pehle do#e, -o aye#a& hat comes first 7 the chicken or the e##$

Banta was dri-in# down the hi#hway past a si#n that said, "6lean Toilets 4 :ms." By the time he dro-e ei#ht kms he had cleaned 3A toilets. Banta! hat.s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer$ Santa! The taste. *eeto! hy do ?arts stink$ Santa! So that Deaf people can en'oy them too& Santa! 2Tm a proud father. "y son is in medical colle#e. Banta! hatTs he studyin#$" Santa! /e.s not studyin#, they are studyin# him& At a football match #round. Santa! 8e lo# ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne$ Boy! 5oal karan lai.

Santa! +aar ball tan pehlan hi #ol hai hor kinni #ol karan#ey. U! A "an asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains$ " A! Santa bola, "+ehle date of birth to batao." SA%DA% *2 T((: (<T /2S A;;0T, 2) T/0 B<S, /2S +/(T( ?0;; (<T (? /2S A;;0T, /0 5(0S 2 A ;AD8,."ADA" *2 SA%2 <+/A% :A%(50 +/(T( ;0)A /A2, A)D A;; T/0 (T/0% "0) 2) T/0 B<S B0AT0D /2" <+&&&&&&&& By Sonia

A man to Santa! <r friend is kissin# ur wife in ur home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said! /e.s not my friend. *eeto! :al raat tum mu'he neend mein tumne mu'he #aaliyan di Santa! Tumhari #alat fahami hai. *eeto! :aisi #alatfahami$ Santa! 8ehi ki mein soya tha. 5al to Banta! :ya shaadi k baad bi tum mu'e itna pyar karo#e$ Banta! :yon nahin$ "ein to diwana hoon shadi7shuda aurton ka. Santa sent a S"S to his pre#nant wife. 6ouple of seconds later he recei-ed a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said! .Deli-ered. 5urdas "aan! Santa 'i, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne #aane #aane hain, us hisab se rate la#e#a$ Santa! 27@ #aa kar pr# shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne #enerator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai Santa to +appu! here.s Sukhna ;ake$ +appu! +ata nahi. Santa! :abhi #har se bhi nikla karo. +appu! ho.s Banta$ Santa! +ata nai. +appu! :abhi #har me bhi raha karo. An 0n#lishman and Santa inside the toilet. 0n#lishman! 5ood e-enin#, how do u do$ Santa! 5ud e-enin#, we open the zip and do. +appu was writin# his father.s name on a 3DDD Santa asked him! hat are you doin#$ +appu! Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon. att bulb.

Santa! 8aar mein apni #irlfriend nu #ift dena hai, ki de-an$ Banta! 5old rin# de de. Santa! :oi -adi cheez das yaar.

Banta! Tan fer "%? da tyre de de. Santa! Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera -yah ho #aye hai. Boss! ?actory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory 'imme-ar nahin hundi Santa dials a number. A #irl recei-es the call. Santa! ho r u$ 5irl! Seeta here. Santa! "aine to 6handi#arh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil #aya Banta asked Santa! hy "anmohan Sin#h #oes for a walk in e-enin#$ Santa! 9ery simple, because he is +" not A" An 0n#lishman and Santa inside the toilet. 0n#lishman! 5ood e-enin#, how do u do$ Santa! 5ud e-enin#, we open the zip and do. Teacher! hat should be in a book to make it a bestseller$ +appu! A #irl on the co-er and no co-er on the #irl. Santa ke ba#iche mein bahut sare ped 7 paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped7paudon ko pani dal. )aukar! Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa! Abe to 6hatri leke dal. Teacher! 2 want you to tell me the lon#est sentence you can think of. +appu! ;ife imprisonment& Santa was drawin# money from AT". Banta, who was 'ust behind him in the line said! 2.-e seen ur password. 2tTs VVVV. Sant! < r wron#. 2tTs 3@CA. Santa walks into a library L says, "6an 2 ha-e a bur#er and coke$" ;ibrarian, "2.m sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "6an 2 ha-e a bur#er L fries$" U! hy did Santa take his pre#nant wife *eeto to +izza /ut$ A! Because they ad-ertised! .?ree Deli-ery. Santa Greadin# from book of factsK! "Do you know that e-ery time 2 breathe a man dies$" Banta! " hy don.t you use a mouth wash$" *eeto! 2f 2 die what.ll you do$ Santa! 2 may also die. *eeto! hy$ Santa! Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man. Teacher! +appu, TA"S( "A *8(T2% 5A"8A" shloka ka kya arth hai$ +appu! Tum so 'ayo maa, mein *yoti ke pass 'a raha hoon. Santa went out to buy an 2ndian fla#. The shop owner #a-e him the fla#. 5uess what did he ask ne1t... 2smein aur colour dikhayiye. Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade #har da address dita hai. 8aar 27A tapusian maar ke dikha deo bichare khush ho 'aan #e.

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
?ro#! Tumhare paas dimaa# nahin hai. Santa! /ai. ?ro#! )ahin hai. Santa! /ai. ?ro#! )ahin hai L 'umps into the well. Santa! 2sme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.$ U! hy Santa is standin# below the Tube li#ht with an open mouth. A! Because Doctor has ad-ised him! .Aa' ;i#ht :hana hai&. U! /ow do you reco#nize Santa.s son, +appu, in School$ A! /e is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board. Santa saw a beautiful #al... he went and smooched her. 5al 7 hat are you doin#$ Santa! ;aw, Ath semester from +un'ab <ni-ersity. Santa sufferin# from constipation, sittin# on toilet seat! (oonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aa'a mar'aniye main tenu khan ta ni la#a. Banta! * tu dasde ki is ba# -ich ki hai tan sare ande tere, ' tu dasde kine ne tan 4 de 4 tere, te ' tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh mur#i - teri. Santa! :oi hint$ Banta! )ame the @ fastest means of communication. Santa! Telephone, Tele-ision, Tell7a7woman

There was a short note written on poster of adult mo-ie. "<nder 34 are not allowed." Santa saw this ms#, what he did ne1t time he came with 3H people alon# with him.Ankit frm Delhi Banta!how did u #ot a new car$ Santa!A #irl dro-e me to a beach, took her cloth L and said! take what do u want L i took car banta! #ood yaar kapde ki karne si. Ankit frm Delhi American! 2n our country , marria#e e-en takes place with email. Santa! 2n 2ndia, it is only with a female fareen sardar3!Tell me a word consist of 3DD letters Banta! +7(7S7T7B7(7= a)anD "anmohan Sin#h to Bush 7 e are sendin# 2ndians to the moon ne1t year. Bush 7 ow& /ow "any$ "anmohan Sin#h 7 3DD 2B 7 (B6 2B 7 S6 2D 7 ST B 7 /andicapped B 7 Sports +ersons B 7 Terrorist Affected B 7 :ashmiri "i#rants C 7 +oliticians and if possible 3 7 Astronaut."ukho'i Sardar proposed a 5irl...... 5irl said 2m 3yr elder to you........... Sardar said (ye )o +roblem

Soniye,2ll marry you )0=T 80A%.azam An astronomer was watchin# the sky from his telescope Santa Sin#h was obser-in# him, Suddenly a star falls, seein# that Santa Sin#h shouted, ":ya nishana la#aya hai&" "ahiwaal ek bar santa sin#h pa#al ho 'ata hai, wo bar72 kehta rehta hai ke #ulel banun#a chidi marun#a.kuch saal pa#al khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho 'ata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karo#e $ santa! pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karun#a, phir mere ladka ho#a, ek saal baad main uska 'anamdin manaun#a, 'anamdin par ussey bahut sare #ift milen#e. #ift mein ek nikker bhi ho#i, main uss nikker se elastic nikalun#a,#ulel banaun#a aur chidi marun#a. sin#la2 5abbar! Arey o Sambha Sambha! *i Sardar 5abbar! :itne Admi the re$ Sambha! Do Sardar 5abbar! "u'he #inti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain$ Sambha! Sardar Do 0k ke baad ata hai. 5abbar! Aur Do ke pehle$ Sambha! Do ke pehle 0k aata hai 5abbar! To bich mein kaun aata hai$ Sambha! Bich mein koi nahi aata 5abbar! To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey$ Sambha! Do 0k ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai. 5abbar! Do ek se bada hai$ :itna bada hai$ Sambha Do ek se 0k bada hai$ 5abbar! A#ar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai$ Sambha! Sardar, "aine tumhara namak khaya hai, mu'he #oli mardo par mera dima# to na khao. (sman D@D37A4HIIDC Banta ek sadhu se bola! Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu! Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta$ "aharoof Santa to *eeto! :aisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul 5obar 'aisa swad hai. *eeto, maatha peet te hue! /ey bha#wan& )a 'ane inhone kya7kya kha ke dekha hua hai.pinki Santa n Banta were watchin# a cricket match. hen Dhoni hits a boundary. Banta! :ya 5oal mara. Santa! %aha )a bewakoof ka bewakoof, 5oal is mein nahin cricket mein hota haiAnil Teacher to Santa! is line ki en#lish banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi #ya. Santa! /e done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...2ndra'eet : Santa went out to buy an 2ndian fla#. The shop owner #a-e him the fla#. 5uess what did he ask ne1t... 2smein aur colour dikhayiye.,K(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7 ABIIIA3K Santa Greadin# from book of factsK! "Do you know that e-ery time 2 breathe a man dies$"

Banta! " hy don.t you use a mouth wash$(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K hat.s ?ord$ Santa! 5aari. hat.s (1ford$ Santa! So simple, Bail 5aari.(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K U! A "an asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains$ " A! Santa bola, "+ehle date of birth to batao."(sman GD@D37A4HIIDC J D@AB7ABIIIA3K Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha! <par kyon aaya$ Banta! Apple khane. Bandar! 8eh to aam ka ped hai. Banta! +ata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.dimesh )urse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her L after seein# the kid he shouted, +<TTA% hua +<TTA%. She slapped him! ;ea-e my fin#er, u fool, 2t.s a #al dimesh Santa! hat.s difference between man L Superman$ +appu! "an wears underwear under the trouser L superman wears it o-er the trouser.dimesh Banta! "arte waMt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye$ Santa! Birla cement. Banta! :yun$ Santa! :yunki is 6ement mein 'aan hai dimesh Titanic doob raha tha. 3 #ore ne santa se pucha7dharti kitni dur hai. Santa7 2kms. 5ore ne samnudr me 'ump la#a k pucha7kis taraf. Santa7)006/0.........CC442HDHAH chetan A 6hini was in hspital. SA)TA went to meet him. 6hini said "6/2)5 6/()5, "(<.6/< 6/A" L died. SA)TA went china 2 know thea meanin#, that was7:<TT0 (=85) : +2+0 S0 +A2% <tha. from chetan CC442HDHAH A "A) T( /2S ?%)D7"A2) A+)A +<%S0 5/A% +0 B/<; AA8A "<*/0 3DDD %S :2 >A%<%AT /A2 BA)TA7D(ST /2 D(ST :0 :A" ATTA /A2 80 ;0 3D %S %2:S/A :A% :0 +<%S0 ;0 AA Gcopyri#ht www.lo-elysms.comK "<S:A) A "A) T( SA)TA7<% ?%)D 2S :2SS2)5 <% 2?02) <% /("0 /0 %<S/0S T( /2S /("0A)D 6("0 2T/2) /A;? A) /(<% ) S;A++0D TAT "A) ) SA2D7/0 2S )(T "8 ?%)D Gcopyri#ht www.lo-elysms.comK "<S:A) (ne day Santas 5irlfriend asks him, Darlin#, om our 0n#a#ement will you #i-e me a %2)5$ Santa!8a sure, 5i-e me ur Telephone )o.amit Gcopyri#ht www.lo-elysms.comK santa was lookin# at a paintin# of a naked women lea-es co-erin# her body he asked that wat he was doin# he answered7 waitin# A autumn Gcopyri#ht www.lo-elysms.comK muskan

Santa was ridin# on a horse, /e 'umped the red li#ht L a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse L says, ";e :arle )umber )ote OPmQR SC2 GDK @ABA BIIIA3 A lady calls Santa for repairin# door bell, Santa doesn.t turns up for A days. ;ady calls a#ain, Santa replies, 2.m comin# daily since A days, 2 press the bell but no one comes out. OPmQR SC2 GDK @ABA BIIIA3 A lady asked Santa! ;2+T() di chah hai$ Santa replied! "ainu ta nahi hai 'i, tainu hai ta lipat 'a...& OPmQR SC2 GDK @ABA BIIIA3 /amid ali D@AB7AHC2H23 Santa to banta. 8aar Tumhary Bewi sheharGcityK ke hai ya pindG-illa#eK ki.. Banta. +ind ki. Santa.ooh acha . main sam'a shayed Tumhary hai !7d /iren %athod Santa ! banta, r u know fullfom of " 2?0" Banta ! 8es, Santa ! Bolo.. Banta ! F without 2 F information ? F ?i#ht 0 F 0-ery time Santa ! yeto ment socha hi nati tha...................... nana ya nani ak bar santa ki beti ko baccha hua to santa bhar khada ta or bola me nana ban #aya ya nani harsh rathod

6()5%ATS.8our phone has been installed with a new puzzle #ame. To play,throw your phone a#ainst the wall.Then assemble the pieces.... Always start your day with a lot of... S 0 = S Always start your day with a lot of... S 0 = S 7 S"2;0 0 7 0)0%58 = 7 =62T0"0)T so make S 0 = a daily habit, and you"ll always B S<6S0=?<;& in ;2?0. " " " "6ome here,take off urs pants and knickers 6ome here,take off urs pants and knickers, #et on top of me, en'oy until u #et satisfied, lo-in# urs.....toilet& " ";astnite i went 2 bed without u. ;astnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinkin# of u, missin# ur warmth, ur soft touch a#ainst my skin. here were u lastnite, my lo-ely py'amas " "A #irl phoned me the other day and said. A #irl phoned me the other day and said..."6ome on o-er, there.s nobody home." 2 went o-er. )obody was home " "+ress down down more (k more 80S

+ress down down more (k more 80S ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder S( 5((D & mmmmm That.s how 2 se1 on te1t & " "2 really deeply wish tat u r here 2 really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room.on my bedLli#hts is off L we #et under the co-er to#ether.. 2 show u my #low in the dark watch. " /e came at ni#ht, /e came at ni#ht, e1plored my body, #ot on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked, swalowd, when he was satisfyed, he left, i was hurt, B;((D8... "(SU<2T( &&&& 32@AB 3 2 @ A B I H 4 C 3D 33 32 3@ 3A 3B 3I 3H 34 3C 2D 9ery #ood& 2ntelli#ent /o& :al A7B767D sikhen#e... oT TnA T2<; 2 oT TnA T2<; 2 ST/pinboop 8A2 &..2mA@rb T@@w2 & .. ni/KA2 2.r< 6onfused na$ %ead it in a mirror.. )ow... Bye& there are @ chambers in my heart. there are @ chambers in my heart. 3 for A;;A/ 3 for ABB(( 3 for A""00 (h wat about u dear$ Sorry no place A u in my heart&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& bcoz 8ou Are "8 /0A%T&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&By 2kram hat is the hei#ht of ?lirtin#$

hat is the hei#ht of ?lirtin#$ hen your lo-e letter starts with "T(

/("S(090% 2T "A8 6()60%)". By Amit

B<8 A S6((T8.....+26: <+ A B0A<T8,D%2): A ?%((T8.... TA:0 /0% T( ((T8,%0"(90 /0% )25/T8...D( <% D<T8.,A?T0% C "()T/S ... 50T A 6<T8W,7pasha &XYZZYYZZZ[\LGKKSKVGLVL[\ZYXXXYZZ\[[[LLVGEEGVL\Z YYXYLVL$"W!!ES]SEKVG[\ZYYZ\ aakhe faad ke kya dekh rahe ho 'aki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya ra#ha-- 2A3H this is your mobile operator we can see that you are too dump to use your mobile please put it on the floor and start 'umpin# on it remzozo 2t.s better to stay away from #irls. (nly one or two can brin# S"2;0 to your life, remainin# will steel your /A++2)0SS from your life santhu A husband was stun# by a bee on his pnes and it became swollen. /is wife prayed, "(h 5od may you remo-e off the pain and lea-e the size as it is. Baboshisto 2f i was a do# 2f i was a do# and u are a flower 2 would raise my le# and #i-e u a shower neema t darlin# ru know full fom of DA%;2)5 $ D F dear A F always % F remembar ; F lo-e 2 F is ) F not 5 F #ame D.: