Wallace 1

Anna Wallace
Malcolm Campbell
English 1102
March 24, 2014
All words in blue are suggestions I have offered, and things in red are grammatically or
phonically incorrect and easily fixed !

Yoga: Has the Ancient Lineage Disappeared?

What comes to mind when you think of yoga? If you imagine a bunch of woman women
twisted into complex poses wearing expensive yoga gear, then you are probably right, but, 5,000
years ago, this was certainly not the case. In the 1990s yoga became a very trendy form of
exercise here in North America; many people caught on to the trend and it has continuously
expanded ever since. According to a study conducted by Yoga Journal in 2008, approximately
16 million people and counting were enrolled in yoga classes from all around the country, but the
question is determining if these classes are really practicing yoga? It is becoming such a
widespread activity that the traditional practice of yoga is quickly fading away. People are
getting so wrapped up in the trends and letting them define what yoga is instead is instead of
letting yoga define the people. The true purpose of yoga is to deepen ones awareness,
spirituality, and happiness, not to just to become relaxed and physically fit. As the popularity
continues to grow, this 5,000-year-old practice, has transformed from a profound East Indian
discipline to a highly commercialized form of exercise.
According to The New York Times, Yoga was able to enter into the American
mainstream by offering itself as a powerful tool that provided many benefits, such as reduced
stress, increased relaxation, and greater flexibility. I do agree with this statement, but it is a
shame that yoga cannot be appreciated in its original form, which includes more than just

Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:30 PM
Comment [1]: I like how you staiteu with
a question! It's engaging.

Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:28 PM
Comment [2]: Maybe explain here right
away what was the East Indian tradition 5000
years ago? As a reader, Im curious.
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:31 PM
Comment [3]: and it has causes a run-on
sentence, maybe use which has or another
revision.
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:32 PM
Comment [4]: Here, you are stating what
the question is, but you arent asking it. All
you need is a period !
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:32 PM
Comment [5]: Maybe rephrase this
sentence for better clarity.
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:32 PM
Comment [6]: (a good alternative for not
to just to could be rather than just and the
comma after happiness wont be needed)
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:32 PM
Comment [7]: (Great way to end your
introduction by revisiting the beginning!)

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physical aspects. The article then resumed to say Yoga has continued to grow through out
American gyms as something that cultivates aerobic capacity and builds strength. This type of
advertisement is great, but it depicts yoga as just a form of physical exercise, which it is, but they
fail to include the essential aspect of self-awareness that separates yoga from any other workout.
This is what creates the common misunderstanding that yoga is just a form of exercise and
nothing more. Traditionally at the end of every yoga class, savasana, a time for stillness, is
practiced for 20-30 minutes as a time for one to rejuvenate and still the body and mind. Today,
that time has been shortened to just a few short minutes and there is less dharana, concentration,
and dyana, meditation. All three aspects are important teachings, yet, they are rarely emphasized.
The only thing that most people are concerned about nowadays is burning calories and loosing
weight.many studios would lose a lot of business if they fully incorporated traditional styles of
yoga because not what the customers want. The motive of the majority of yoga teachers today is
to be the most well known with the best practice while often times creating their own style of
yoga that will entice more customers. They cant be the best if they dont give customers what
they are looking for.
Years ago, not just anybody could become a yoga teacher. They were required to be
taught by a Swami, a yoga master, or go directly to the source in India, but this is no longer the
case. Nowadays, those wanting to become yoga instructors are being taught in yoga schools,
and in some states, a certification isnt even required.
Clearly, though, it's not the sheer volume of new clients that's responsible for the
injuries, says Shirin, It's a combination of factors, such as the large number of
poorly trained yoga instructors practicing in the United States and the emphasis
on large classrooms of students packed into tight quarters for these hybrid forms
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:33 PM
Comment [8]: (since articles cant really
speak, although they do provide words, maybe
try using states or claims instead of say
! ),
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:33 PM
Comment [9]: (throughout)
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:33 PM
Comment [10]: (I like that you included
these words! Just make sure to source where
you got these facts)
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:34 PM
Comment [11]: Add a period here and use
a transition word such as Therefore for the
following sentence to make sure these two
sentences dont turn in to one run-on)
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:34 PM
Comment [12]: its
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:35 PM
Comment [13]: I really like how you begin
to mention yoga teachers here at the end as this
paragraph to transition into the next paragraph.
Thats a great literary choice! Just make sure
this paragraph and the next have two separate
main points and you arent revisiting the main
point of the previous paragraph into the
following paragraph !
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of yoga. Most of these adulterated forms of yoga are hazardous and completely
negate many of the benefits of the practice.
For example, in Virginia, Governor Robert McDonnell is enforcing a law that exempts the states
yoga teachers from having to be licensed. The supporters of this exemption advocate themselves
by saying, yoga does not present any type of risk, and therefore there isnt a need for certified
teachers. These people are incorrect in saying this because although it isnt extremely common
to experience a yoga injury, it isnt a rare experience either. Dr. Jefferey Halbrecht, a former
medical director of the Women's Pro Ski Tour says, Yoga injuries that I have treated are on par
with those suffered by practitioners of extreme sports (Club Industry). Yoga just like any
other activity can result in injuries. Jeni Livingston, an employee of Body Space Fitness agrees
by stating, All parts of the body, from head to toe, are at risk while doing yoga. The most
common injuries include damage to the lower back, neck, and wrists but can be prevented if the
right precautions are taken. For example rounding the spine in poses like downward dog can
cause the spine to flex the opposite way and cause the discs the feel achy (Newcomer).
Injuries have also become more common in todays age because of the fashion in which
we do things. Many people begin taking yoga classes and rush into advanced poses that their
bodies cant handle yet; it cant be stressed enough how important it is practice at your own pace.
There are often times props. and modified poses that are offered, but many people refuse to use
them because they cant except the fact that they need help (Newcomer). Savasana, the final
resting pose of a yoga flow, is becoming a common synonym for class is over. People often
times get up and leave before this important cool down which allows for the bodys nervous
system to slow down and bring a sense of closure to the practice, therefore reducing injury later
on.
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:35 PM
Comment [14]: (This is an awesome
quote! But maybe mention Shirin at the
beginning of the quote before you indent
it. Also make sure to tell us who Shirin is)

Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:35 PM
Comment [15]: Awesome paragraph! I like
how you continued to source all your
information, and your varieties of quotes and
paraphrases are used effectively. Just make
sure to finish up your paragraphs by stating
your main point again! It allows the reader to
remember the main points and stayed focused
to the paper.

Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:36 PM
Comment [16]: (maybe reverse this
sentence for better clarity.. for example The
importance of practicing at ones own pace
cannot be stressed enough)
Anna Wallace 4/21/14 10:36 PM
Comment [17]: provided/given/etc
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Seniors, young adults, teens, children, and even cats and dogs, yes dogs, are all taking
advantage of the benefits yoga has to offer. The trend practically evolved overnight, and now
you one can find a yoga studio on almost every street corner. In 2007, Americans forked out
almost $5.7 billon on yoga classes and products such as mats, clothing, and other equipment
pertaining exclusively to yoga. Celebrities, such as Madonna and Sting, are constantly
advocating the practice and claim that yoga is the key to having a great physique; a claim in
which they can easily support that claim with their appearance. The benefits of yoga are so
profound that it is easy to see why it has become a nationwide trend. It is a simple way to
achieve relaxation and de-stress as well as gain flexibility (Reuther). Many people start out only
being able to bend down to their knees, but after only a short period of time, they are eventually
able to reach their toes. Yoga has also been proven to improve balance and increase strength. A
football player by the name of Gage Niemeyer says, I had been dealing with some back
problems in the offseason, and I talked to the coaches about doing something to help deal with
that and increase my flexibility,. In response they mentioned that they thought yoga would be a
good idea,. I enrolled, and I actually really liked it a lot. I'm already a lot more limber,"
Niemeyer says (Hendricks). Many sports are coming to the realization that having balance,
strength, and flexibility plays a key role in each and every player. Several experts have noticed
that yoga has been packaged so well as a resistance against illness and aging that it is not hard
to lose sight of its real purpose, self-awareness. Source. This statement alone shows just how
powerful yoga can be and sets yoga aside from any other form of exercise.
Like I said earlier, yoga has recently become a very widespread activity but despite this
new trend, many people arent fond of the hobby. One of the top reasons people are against
doing yoga is because they believe it to be against their religion. Yoga, just like any other
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activity, can be religiously affiliated but most styles of yoga offered in the west are more
scientific in their approach. Most scholars would say that Hinduism and yoga are very closely
related but would also agree that yoga its self itself is not a religion; yoga is more often
considered a type of spirituality. In San Diego County, the school system decided to incorporate
yoga into their program once they received a three-year grant for $533,000 from a nonprofit
group that promotes Asthanga yoga. A group of parents were not happy about this, fearing that
their children would be exposed to eastern religion. The parents claimed that the program was
unconstitutional and threatened to take legal action. The superintendent, Baird, responded to the
parents saying, "Our goal is that kids get a really healthy workout, that they get a chance to relax
and reduce stress and yoga's perfect for that. Baird continued by saying, "Yoga is a worldwide
exercise regime utilized by people of many different faiths," he said. "Yoga is part of our
mainstream culture (Smith).
Your paper is looking great so far! Youve sourced just about all of your information, and your
paper flows great. Youve made sure every paragraph has separate main points while all
continuing to maintain the topic of your paper. You didnt ramble or fluff, so great job. Youre
on a good start!





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Works Cited
Dankosky, John. "The Science of Yoga: The Risks And Rewards.." 2 10 2012: n. page. Web. 5 .
2014.
Hendricks, Beth. "Marshall football players see benefits of yoga." AP Regional State Report. n.
page. Print.
Kaur, Ramdesh. "All About Yoga: What is Sanasana?." Spirit Voyage Blog. N.p., 5 Jun 2012.
Web. 26 Mar. 2014.
Newcomer, Laura. "Most Common Yoga Injuries and How to Avoid Them.." Greatist. N.p., 10
Sep 2012. Web. 12 Mar. 2014.
Reuther, Annette. "Yoga's popularity stretches from nudists to infants." 07 10 2010: n. page.
Web. 4 Feb. 2014.
Smith, Ronda. "Yoga, The Path to Harmonious Living." Washington Informer. May 2013: n.
page. Web. 4 Feb. 2014.
"Yoga Injuries On the Rise." Club Industry. Penton, 1 February 2003. Web. 26 Mar. 2014.