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BIRTHDAY MAD LIB

for a Rapidly-Aging Mother


on the occasion of a Landmark Birthday Anniversary
Rating: PG-13 (at the moment; caution: rating may change after use)

I woke up on Saturday morning. “_____!” I exclaimed. “It’s my _____ birthday!” I ______


into the bathroom to check to mirror. “Hmm…” I thought, pulling my _____ up with my
fingers. “Dare I wait another _____ before scheduling that complimentary consult with my
friendly neighborhood cosmetic surgeon?” At that moment my _____ husband came in and
wrapped both arms around my _____. “Happy Birthday, _____!” he exclaimed. “You don’t
look a _____ older than the day I first _____ you behind the _____ at the _____ in the _____
grade!” At this point I thanked my lucky _____ that I had married my childhood sweetheart,
whose _____ would forever be blinded by true love. He began to _____ my _____ but at that
point there was a knock on the door. “Curses! Foiled again!” cried my husband, and flung open
the door. _____ _____ children came _____ in. They bore my favorite breakfast on a tray:
_____ and _____ with a piping hot carafe of _____. The youngest presented _____ _____-
wrapped gifts which turned out to be _____ and _____ and my favorite, a _____ with all their
handprints on it! After that the day went _____. My friends picked me up for a day of shopping,
courtesy of a _____ gift certificate in the amount of _____ to _____ provided by my _____
husband. Then we came home and sat on the porch and had _____ of _____ while Dad ran herd
on the kids. Finally he got fed up and kicked them out. “Darling! Finally we’re alone!” he
exclaimed, wrapping his _____ around my _____ and kissing me _____ on the _____.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and _____ kids came prancing in….. (lather, rinse,
repeat!)

Word List
1. exclamation. 2. Scribe: insert appropriate decennary birthday number here 3. verb of
locomotion 4. body part, plural. 5. increment of time 6. adjective. 7. body part. 8. term of
endearment. 9. increment of time, singular 10. verb describing physical contact 11.
horticultural item. 12. building. 13. number. 14.noun, plural 15. noun 16. verb. 17. body
part. 18. number. 19. adjective. 20. verb of locomotion. 21. food. 22. food. 23. beverage.
24. number. 25. adverb. 26. noun. 27. noun. 28. noun. 29. direction. 30. adjective. 31.
monetary amount. 32. name of a store. 33. adjective. 34. type of container, plural. 35.
beverage. 36. body part, plural. 37. body part. 38. adverb. 39. body part. 40. number

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