Getting to Yes abbreviated notes

Fisher and Ury

Chapter 1: Don’t bargain over positions

Most people negotiate by staking out extreme positions in the beginning and then negotiating
towards a middle ground compromise (positional bargaining). This is bad for several reasons:
-If explicit demands are made in the beginning, both sides become personally committed to their
positions and will defend them with unnecessary and counterproductive force. Egos become
intertwined with issues, and people start feeling the need to save face.
-Large amounts of time can be wasted during the process of haggling towards a middle ground.
-Such negotiating styles can make enemies of people if one side feels it has lost at the expense of
the other party.
There are soft and hard styles of negotiation. Some people try to escape the problems of
positional negotiation by adopting a soft style, which leads them to make more concessions.
Such does not necessarily lead to quality deals.
This book details a new way manner of negotiation: principled negotiation or negotiation on the
merits. It has several components:
-Disentangle the negotiators from the problems they are negotiating over so people don’t fight to
protect their egos.
-Focus on interests and not positions. The positions are merely a means to realize broader
interests.
-Take a lot of time to generate mutually beneficial agreements, and be creative in the process.
-Insist on using some fair, objective criteria for judging potential agreements.
Divide the negotiating process into three phases:
-Analysis
-Planning
-Discussion (only now do the parties speak face-to-face)
It is important that both sides fully understand the other’s goals, feelings and frustrations before
they even begin speaking to each other.

Chapter 2: Separate the people from the problem

Remember that all negotiators are human and can become offended, tired, vengeful, tied to their
positions thanks to ego, and might confuse their own perceptions of the world with objective
reality.
In most cases, negotiators have an interest in preserving personal relations with each other
because they will often repeatedly deal with each other. This also greatly speeds and improves
future negotiations.
People’s perceptions are very important and can’t be dismissed because they don’t fully concord
with all the objective facts. Often, different people will focus on different factors and will use
those to define the situation—each will have half the picture. You must understand what the two
sides think.
Realize that your own perceptions and fears color your impressions of the other side’s actions
and motives.
Make sure both sides are involved in the negotiations at every stage so they will know what is
coming in the deal (both good and bad) and so they will feel as if they are making the decision
for themselves and not being dictated to.
Find ways to construct the agreement so as to save face for all involved parties.
Have both sides discuss their emotions and their causes beforehand.
People gain psychological release from recounting their grievances and complaints. As a
negotiator, you can vent these feelings in private, which will calm your side somewhat for the
negotiations.
Small symbols and tokens of goodwill (a kiss, a rose, a written apology, etc) can carry a
disproportionate amount of significance, so use them.
Most people don’t listen well and can’t repeat what someone else has just said to them. It is also
frequent to have misunderstandings between people, especially when they are from different
cultures with different values and languages.
It helps to frequently stop the other side and ask: “To be clear, are you trying to say…”
It helps to create a smaller subgroup of chief negotiators from both sides to meet in private. A lot
of progress can be made through such groups.
It helps enormously for negotiators to become friends or to at least offer some gift or friendly
gesture to the other side before talks begin. This will produce goodwill and a feeling of
reciprocal obligation.

Chapter 3: Focus on interests, not positions

People’s positions during negotiations are meant to achieve certain interests they hold, but
positions and interests are not the same. Figure out what both sides’ interests are, and find new
ways to satisfy them with new positions that please both parties.
To understand the other side’s positions, put yourself in their shoes and keep asking “Why?” and
“Why not?” Construct a chart that shows what they stand to lose or gain. Remember that
important factors are
-What other people (including peers and constituents) will think of them if they pursue a certain
position
-Whether a given negotiated outcome will set a precedent
-Short- and long-term consequences
During negotiations, realize that one side’s demands might merely be meant to meet their basic
needs (security, food, self-esteem, etc) and they might not be trying to “screw over” the other
side, or that goal might at least just be ancillary.
Realize that each side will have multiple goals and interests.
Write down both sides’ interests as you learn them.
Make sure all sides are aware of the interests of all others.
Commit yourself to your interests and do not sacrifice them for anything. Do not get personal
during negotiations, and be willing to change positions, but never sacrifice your interests.

Chapter 4: Invent options for mutual gain

Most negotiations seem at first to revolve around zero-sum issues where both parties can’t walk
away happy at the same time—one must win and the other lose.
There are usually four obstacles to coming up with mutually beneficial solutions to problems:
-Premature judgment
-Assumption that there is a single possible solution to the problem
-Assumption that the negotiation is zero-sum, and there is no way to be compensated for
apparent losses one is focused upon in the negotiation
-View that it’s the responsibility of the other side to solve their own problems
Coming up with creative solutions to problems:
-Do a brainstorming sessions with some skilled people in an informal environment. Have a
facilitator to keep things on track.
-Do not judge the viability of the proposals during the session—just focus on generating ideas.
-Seat everyone facing a blackboard to psychologically reinforce the idea of solving a problem
together and not confronting each other.
-Strictly abide by the “no criticism” rule. (That is done after the options have been created)
-Afterward, identify the best options and come up with ways to improve upon them.
[Might knowledge of past negotiations and how they were resolved be valuable as well?]
-Consider having the two sides brainstorm together, with each taking turns to offer ideas.
-Use the shown Circle Chart
Always hope for the best, but be prepared for making second-best, stopgap deals in lieu of a final
deal that pleases everyone.
Look for common ground and common interests between parties, and focus on ways to satisfy
those. Such a strategy might lead to creative and mutually beneficial solutions to the problem.
Come up with ways the opposing side could justify an unpopular deal.

Chapter 5: Insist on using objective criteria

Reach agreements based on principles and agree to principles beforehand. For instance, agree
with a seller of an item to whatever the market price is instead of haggling, or agree to conform
to legal standards.
[These are still open to interpretation.]
Do not give in to pressure or threats from the other side: insist on using the fair criteria.
Continually ask the other side what type of objective standard they are using and what their
calculations were to arrive at their offer. Through this tactic, you can expose poor logic and
attempts to take advantage of you, which will serve your interests.

Chapter 6: What if they are more powerful? (Develop you BATNA—best alternative to a
negotiated agreement)

When negotiations drag out, parties often become desperate just to end them and take whatever
deal they can, which often produces bad agreements.
People often try to protect themselves from falling into such a trap by setting minimum
requirements for a deal, like a bottom line price for something they’re trying to sell through
bidding. This, however, reduces bargaining flexibility and often causes the side to reject lowball
offers outright without creatively looking for ways to make the agreement worth it to them in
other ways.
Before entering into negotiations, ask yourself what your best option/course of action will be if
negotiations fail and you are stuck in the predicament you currently find yourself in (i.e.—If you
can’t get someone to bid market price for your house and buy it, the next best thing to do is to
rent it out.). This is your BATNA.
Your BATNA should be your bottom line, not some arbitrarily set criteria. Compare all deal
offers to your BATNA and reject or accept the former using that comparison.
Information asymmetry heavily affects negotiation demands and behavior. If people think they
don’t have options (even though they really do), they will be desperate to make a deal.
Again, BATNA’s should be formulated through a process of creative group brainstorming.
Also try to guess the other side’s BATNA.
Seemingly weak players with good knowledge of BATNA’s and more information than the other
side can come away from negotiations with favorable deals.

Chapter 7: What if they won’t play? (Use negotiation jujuitsu)

The other side has a hard bargaining style, sticks to positional bargaining, and/or gets personal
with you.
First, be the bigger man and start with principled negotiation. Continue trying to negotiate this
way and hope that the effort becomes contagious.
If that fails, use “negotiation jujitsu.”
-Don’t take the bait: Ignore personal attacks, don’t take up positions in opposition to theirs, and
don’t reject any of their unreasonable positions outright.
-Keep questioning them about the interests underlying their positions.
-Basically, kill the other side with kindness, don’t defend yourself, and keep asking questions and
listening to understand their motivations.
If that also fails, call in a mediator
-The mediator should be a disinterested third party who speaks with both sides to determine their
interests.
-The mediator then uses the one-text procedure: He prepares a deal that he thinks will satisfy
both parties based on their interests, but it is understood from the beginning that the first draft
will probably be rejected. He then presents it to the parties and has the criticize it, and based
upon these criticisms, the mediator prepares a new draft, and so on. No one is personally vested
in the success of any one draft, allowing more rational negotiation.
“Trust isn’t the issue here; the issue is principle.”
A good negotiator should rarely make decisions on the spot. “Let me get back to you on that.”
Compliment the other side to build goodwill.

Chapter 8: What if they use dirty tricks? (Taming the hard bargainer)

Dirty tricks include intimidation, personal attacks, obvious lies, and suddenly raising demands on
the eve of an agreement.
Most people either respond by giving in to the tricks or by responding in kind. Neither are very
effective for several reasons.
Always confront the other side about their tactic, but don’t do it in a personally insulting or
accusatory manner since this might harden their behavior so as not to appear like they’re backing
down. “If you have a personal problem with me, why don’t we take a recess right now to discuss
it in private?” “Can I have a more comfortable chair than this?” By simply voicing your
awareness and displeasure of the dirty trick, most times it will end.
As usual, employ principled negotiation and kill them with kindness.
Never trust anybody in a negotiation unless you know them well from past experience. “Don’t
you trust me?” should be met with “Trust is not the issue” or “Don’t you trust me? After all, why
did you do a credit check on me/make me pay a deposit?”
Deliberate deception as a dirty trick
-The other side simply lies to you by presenting false facts that favor their case. For instance, a
used car dealer will claim he somehow knows that the car you like was very well-maintained
even though he doesn’t. Tell the other person you are willing to allow them to verify your facts if
they give you the same privilege.
-The opposing negotiator might act like they have full authority to negotiate, but once you reach
a deal, he will suddenly announce that he must take it to his boss for approval. The deal with then
usually come back with changes, which you will feel pressured to accept since you already
“agreed” to your side of the deal. Continue negotiations if the boss makes changes.
-The other side doesn’t really intend to honor their part of the deal. Build mechanisms into the
agreement that allow a third party to penalize any side that violates it.
Psychological warfare as a dirty trick
-The venue of the negotiation meetings might be designed to stress your side out. Make sure
beforehand that the atmosphere will be comfortable for everyone (breaks, comfortable chairs,
food, good temperature, privacy for conferring with your team, etc.).
-The other side might launch direct or indirect personal attacks against you. This could take the
form of ignoring you, making you repeat yourself, or engaging in some demonstration that
makes you feel or appear inferior or unimportant. Don’t lose your temper, don’t respond in kind,
and always point out the problem for everyone to hear.
-The other side could use the good cop/bad cop routine to get you to agree to the seemingly
reasonable good cop’s offer even though it doesn’t serve your interests. Just be on guard for this
and ignore it.
-Ignore outright threats, and/or remind the other side that their words might become public and
tarnish their own reputation.
Positional pressure tactics structure the negotiations so that only you can make concessions
-The other side might refuse to negotiate. Complain about this to the press and suggest third
party arbitration. Also try principled negotiation.
-The other side will try positional negotiation and will start with a ridiculously unfavorable offer,
which they hope will force you to negotiate to a middle ground that still greatly favors them.
Confront them about it and switch to principled negotiation.
-The other side will keep demanding compensatory concessions from you for every concession it
makes, going around and around and returning to issues you thought were settled. Again, call
attention to this and insist on principled negotiations.
-The other side will declare from the beginning that they are committed to a certain position and
will take steps to ensure they cannot credibly deviate from that position. Less control actually
gives them more power. Don’t succumb to this.
-You opposite will keep insisting that they agree with you, but that their partner doesn’t. Ask to
get principles for negotiation in writing from both of them, and then try to speak with the
hardheaded partner.