Blanton Brad PH D Practicing Radical Honesty How To Complete The Past Stay in Present Build A Future

Submitted as List of Authorities Evidentiary Doc1.
to:
Constitutional Court of South Africa

Case No. CCT 23/10 In the Matter Between: THE CITIZEN 1978 (PTY) LIMITED KEVIN KEOGH MARTIN WILLIAMS ANDREW KENNEY And ROBERT JOHN MCBRIDE And LARA JOHNSTONE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION INSTITUTE (FXI) S.A. NATIONAL EDITORS FORUM (SANEF) JOYCE SIBANYONI MBIZANA MBASA MXENGE First Amicus Curiae Second Amicus Curiae Third Amicus Curiae Fourth Amicus Curiae Fifth Amicus Curiae First Respondent First Applicant Second Applicant Third Applicant Fourth Applicant
Filing Sheet: Amended2 Practice Note and Written Submissions (Heads of Argument3) for Lara Johnstone; in Support of Radical Honesty Population Policy Common Sense Interpretation of Promotion of National Unity and Reconciliation Act, 34 of 1995
CCT 23-10: Evidentiary Docs PDF File: www.scribd.com/my_document_collections/2308879 See also: Concourt 23-10 Amicus Expert Witness Statement by Dr. T. Michael Maher (How and Why Journalists Avoid Population-Environment Connection): [PDF: www.scribd.com/doc/31373074]; and Dr. Brad Blanton (Radical Honesty) [PDF: www.scribd.com/doc/31989814] 2 10-07-18: 1st Amicus: HoA Condonation: Radical Honesty Interpretation of TRC Act [PDF: www.scribd.com/doc/34551198 ] 3 10-07-18: 1st Amicus: Heads of Argument: Radical Honesty Interpretation of TRC Act [PDF: www.scribd.com/doc/34551212]
Practicing Radical Honesty:

How To Complete the Past, Stay In the Present, And Build a Future With a Little Help From Your Friends
by
Brad Blanton
AUTHOR OF
RA ICAL H!"#STY$ H!W T! TRA"SF!R% Y!&R LIF# BY T#LLI"' TH# TR&TH

Copyright 1999
Online for educational purposes at: JAG 07-146: www.jagia-07146.co.nr
CONTENTS FORWARD BY NEALE DONALD WALSCH AUTHOR'S PREFACE Introduction: The Dec ine o! Indi"idu# P$%chother#&% #nd the Ri$e o! Ther#&eutic Co''unit% (: Li"in) Under the O d P#r#di)' *+ Wh#t I$ A ,ind And Ho- Doe$ It Wor./ 0+ D%$!unction# F#'i % Uni"er$it%1 The Wor d2F#'ou$ Schoo Within Which We 3re- Our ,ind$ 4+ The Truth A5out A Cu ture$ 6+ Con$ciou$ Co''unit% #nd Con$ciou$ Chi d Re#rin) 7+ The Ro#d Fro' The ,ind 8#i B#c. To Bein)9The Su!i Le"e $ O! Con$ciou$ne$$ :+ Adu t$ Are Nothin) But L#r)e Chi dren Who H#"e For)otten Ho- To P #% P#rt T-o: Co''unit% #nd Co'&#$$ion ;+ Co''unit% And Co'&#$$ion <+ R#dic# Hone$t% A5out An)er (=+ In Pr#i$e O! The O d P#r#di)' ((+ Cre#tin) Your Li!e P#rt Three: Cre#tin) Your O-n De$tin%9The Wor.5oo. !or Li!e De$i)n Introduction to P#rt Three: The Wor.5oo. !or Li!e De$i)n (*+ A Pro)r#''#tic A&&ro#ch To Per$on# 3ro-th (0+ Con!rontin) The P#$t To 3et Co'& ete And H#"e Ener)% To Cre#te (4+ P #nnin) The Future So You Re'#in C# ed Forth Fro' Your ,ind (6+ On Continuou$ % Bein) Centered In The Pre$ent And U$in) The ,ind To Tr#n$cend The ,ind (7+ The Li!e Pur&o$e St#te'ent (:+ Do'#in$ (;+ Wh#t I$ A Pro>ect Out ine/ (<+ S#'& e Do'#in$ And Pro>ect$9A S%$te' O! Or)#ni?#tion *=+ Re!or'u #tion o! Current Wor. U$in) the Pro>ect Write2U& *(+ The U'5re # Pro>ect **+ Pro>ect De"e o&'ent St#)e$ *0+ The Stor% O! An E"o "in) Pro>ect P#rt Four Ho- to S&e#. #nd Li$ten Your Pro>ect$ into Bein) Introduction to P#rt Four *0+ Cre#tin) # Conte@t *6+ It'$ A Lot O! Wor. To ,#.e A Ne- Stor%1 I$n't It/ No- Wh#t/ P#rt Fi"e: P#r#di)'$ And Conte@t$: The Re"o ution O! Con$ciou$ne$$ Introduction to &#rt !i"e *7+ Nor'# *:+ Cre#tin) A Ne- P#r#di)' B% Cre#tin) A Ne- Conte@t In An O d P#r#di)' *;+ A Su!!icient Fund#'ent# Identit%AThe Li"in) Bein) In The Bod% Fro' ,o'ent To ,o'ent *<+ The Bi) Picture9The L#r)er Conte@t For A Hu'#n Acti"itie$
0=+ Inti'#c% #nd Co''unit% 0(+ The United St#te$ o! Bein)1 A Ne- N#tion Dec #r#tion o! Inde&endence !or # Ne- ,i enniu' Bi5 io)r#&h% #nd Reco''ended Re$ource$ Annot#ted Re$ource$ !or Ch#&ter *< LIST OF TABLES AND FI3URES
Figure 1. The Growth of Human Beings 44
Forward
Don' t look now, but the human race is terribly unha y. !h, not you, of course. "ou're fine. #t's the rest of us that ha$e bungle% it. &e ha$e im risone% oursel$es in 'ails of our own %e$ise. &e ha$e sentence% oursel$es to li$es of (uiet %es eration in unishment for the $iolence we ha$e %one to our own souls. &e ha$e %one this $iolence by the sim le e) e%ience of lying. &e meant nothing by it, of course. &e were only trying to get through the moment. "et by making lying a lifestyle, we ha$e missed the moment. *n% the ne)t moment. *n% the ne)t. *n% in this way, we humans ha$e misse% most of our li$es. &orse yet, our cumulati$e lies ha$e cost others. +amely, those who ha$e followe% us. For they ha$e li$e% the ,ultural -tory create% by our untruths. Thus, humans ha$e not only sentence% themsel$es, they'$e sentence% entire generations to unha iness. #t all starte% innocently enough. The .ittle &hite .ies of ,hil%hoo%. &hite .ies we learne% from our arents, an% from the worl% aroun% us. /ntruths mas(uera%ing as social eti(uette. 0#'m fine, thank you,0 when we knew 1ommy was feeling terrible. 0Gosh, we'% lo$e to come o$er, but we're 'ust really busy this weeken%,0 when we coul% see that Da%%y ha% nothing at all to %o on the weeken%, an% sim ly %islike% the 2ohnsons. &e saw others %o it 3 others whom we res ecte% 3 an% so we thought, maybe #'ll try that. This must be the way to get through the moment. !nly when we ha$e oursel$es finally grown u , an% then only if we are $ery lucky, is it clear to us that not only ha$e we misse% the moment, we'$e kille% it. &e robbe% it of any life it ha% any chance of hol%ing for us by lying an% e$a%ing an% a$oi%ing our truth at all cost. Those last three wor%s were well chosen, because it has cost us lenty. !ur li$es. !ur fortunes. !ur sacre% honor. #t has cost us our $ery sel$es. &e %on't e$en know who we are anymore, with all the hi%ing an% %ecei$ing we'$e %one. &e'$e lost oursel$es in the labyrinth of our own lies. *stonishingly, we can't e$en a%mit this. Thus, we commit the highest insult4 we lie to oursel$es. *n% so we carry on, %ay after %ay, week after week, month after month, year after year, li$ing our lies as if they were our truth, unable to sto oursel$es from lying e$en when we know we are %oing it.
Oh, Neale, stop it. You're making too much of this. You're going on and on. 5eally6 .ook aroun% you. !ur go$ernments lie. !ur oliticians lie. !ur economists lie. !ur olice lie7 sometimes on the witness stand. !ur e%ucators lie. !ur religions lie. !ur arents lie. *n% nobo%y a%mits it. +ot only won't the liars a%mit it, the eo le being lie% to won't a%mit it. They know they're being lied to, but they won't acknowledge it. Do you want to be the one to tell the 8m eror that he's wearing no clothes6 -o not only %o we all lie, we lie about our lying. *n% oh, what tangle% webs we wea$e9 There's a way out of all this. * way to a life of eace an% 'oy an% incre%ibly e)uberant free%om. Tell The Truth. *bout 8$erything. *ll The Time. Big or%er6 #t shoul%n't be. But let's acknowle%ge that it is7otherwise we'll win% u lying about that. #t is a big or%er. Because we'$e been %oing it so long, it's become art of our way of li$ing. &e ha$e to learn a new way to li$e 7an% a new way to lo$e. Because that's what we're talking about here. &e're talking about lo$e. &e're not lo$ing anybo%y to whom we are lying. That inclu%es oursel$es. +o won%er the worl% is in the sha e it's in. # think we shoul% change all of us. #n the With od series of books, # s oke about li$ing a life of total $isibility. This means utter trans arency. The irony of trans arency, # wrote in Friendship with od, is that it ro%uces com lete $isibility. *n% com lete $isibility is all that is going to sa$e us. &e'$e got to come clean with each other. *t long last. !r we'll ne$er make it. +ot as a s ecies, not as grou s within the s ecies, an% not as in%i$i%uals. We aren't making it now 3 look around you. How %o we change things6 How %o we s ring free from this tra we ha$e set for oursel$es6 &e a%o t ra%ical honesty as our new lifestyle. # %on't agree with e$ery wor% that Bra% Blanton has written here. #n%ee%, # take e)ce tion to some of what he has sai%, an% the way in which he has sai% it. "et Bra% an% # woul% ha$e it no other way, for we concur on this4 the %ay that we agree with e$ery wor% of another, without e)ce tion, is the %ay that we ha$e sto e% thinking for oursel$es. +either of us are re are% to %o that. # am re are%, howe$er, to tell you that # agree rofoun%ly with the thrust of Bra%'s argument here. This book will gi$e you an incre%ible ri%e through the corri%ors of consciousness, taking you to laces not many ha$e ha% the courage to $isit before. That $isit coul% change your life. +eale Donal% &alsch AUTHOR'S PREFACE Here's what # want. # want you to be ha y about your life most of the time. # want the trail you follow in your life from rea%ing this book forwar% to be mostly ha y. &hen you finish this book # want you to 'um u an%
holler an% fall %own an% laugh your ass off. To get to that 0Hoohah::0 kin% of 'oy may re(uire a tri through some sa%ness an% some anger an% some thinking the likes of which we %on't usually %o. That sa%ness an% that anger an% that 'oy an% that bran% new thinking comes from growing, which kee s us ali$e. To grow, an% to continue growing throughout life, an% to contribute to the ersonal an% collecti$e growth of humankin% in the great con$ersation about what it is to be human, we nee% two things4 the ability to ha$e a transcen%ent ers ecti$e, an% the ability to transcen%. * transcen%ent ers ecti$e comes from thinking an% from rocessing a lot of information ;which has to be accurate information, not lies<. Transcen%ing is %one by noticing an% e!periencing3 articularly, resistance within ;the in%i$i%ual self< an% without ;other eo le an% other social structures< to new transcen%ent ers ecti$es. For e)am le, many eo le belie$e it is ossible for them to lo$e more than one erson an% often %o, e$en though marrie% an% in a monogamous relationshi . #f both marrie% eo le tell the truth to each other, they may encounter %ifficulty lo$ing their artner for lo$ing a thir% arty. #n most cases, this ty e of lo$e re(uires more ersonal growth than they can stan%, articularly if se)ual in$ol$ement with another erson arises as a ossibility. *ccor%ing to reliable sur$eys, a thir% of all marrie% eo le %o ha$e se) with eo le other than their mates. They %on't tell each other about it though. They choose instea% to lie to each other, ha$e affairs in secret, an% a$oi% the suffering of ersonal growth in fa$or of the suffering of lying. #f they commit to work their way through 'ealousy honestly, an% stay with each other an% share all the resentments, a reciations, leasures, an% ains an% get through to a transcen%ent ers ecti$e, e$entually they are able to lo$e an% $alue each other for the share% struggle of ersonal growth an% can %ee en their li$es together. They may screw aroun% with someone else an% they may not, but their li$es together are %ee er an% more intimate. /sually, this is not the case. #n most con$entional marriages the i%eals are clear but the ractices fall short. Because of withhol%ing, the bliss imagine% becomes the ers ecti$e that mocks the real e) erience. For another e)am le, most eo le will tell you that they are not in fa$or of war, while war ersists. Defense bu%gets %e lete a gigantic ro ortion of the worl%'s resources, an% warfare is still fre(uently use% as an attem t to settle %is utes. &ar an% re aration for war remain a com letely acce table e)ce tion to collecti$e ersonal references against $iolence. !ther e)am les are abun%ant. *ll oint to the same %ilemma. We can go places with our minds that our psyches can't yet reach. &e %on't ha$e the heart to grow on u to what we know is ossible. Those of us who ha$e %eci%e% that growing is worth the trouble nee% an ongoing su ly of two things. &e nee% information about new ers ecti$es an% we nee% to rocess the information ersonally with frien%s to really be able to a ly it. This is why # write books, lea%
worksho s, trainings, an% consultations4 We human beings do not re"ise perspecti"es without a fight. The e) eriments in ersonal growth, an% the working through of our resistance to gi$ing u ol% ers ecti$es, ro$i%e us with more information, but they are har% work. This then hel s us to re$ise the ol% ers ecti$es or come u with entirely new ones7an% so the rocess continues. #%eas are useful only when mo%ifie% in the guts of the li$ing. This book is about a few new ers ecti$es4 the nee% for honest an% accurate information7how to gi$e it an% how to get it, the work nee%e% to bring about 0the getting0 of new ers ecti$es into our bones an% into the worl%, how to su ort each other in the rocess of she%%ing ol% ers ecti$es an% buil%ing new ones, an% creating a larger conte)t olitically an% economically for the growth of human knowle%ge, thus e) an%ing our ability to sur$i$e an% thri$e. Beyon% those ers ecti$es, this book is about a ers ecti$e on ers ecti$es. The ers ecti$e # am a%$ocating in this book is to $iew ers ecti$es themsel$es from a transcen%ent stan% oint. That stan% oint is that all ers ecti$es are relati$e. +o ers ecti$e is absolute e)ce t this one. !ne first gets the relati$ity of ers ecti$es intellectually. *fter a long time an% a lot of work, one gets the ers ecti$e on the relati$ity of ers ecti$es ractically, 0feelingly,0 usefully, sychologically, structurally, inter ersonally, an% whate$er other 0lys0 ertain to the actual bringing into being of the ers ecti$e of %etachment from ers ecti$es itself. How many =en Bu%%hists %oes it take to change a light bulb6 Three. !ne to change the bulb. !ne to not change the bulb. !ne to neither change the bulb or not change the bulb. The ultimate %etachment inclu%es %etachment e$en from the i%eal of attachment. This is the kin% of thing that can make you lose your min% an% come to your senses. The training rograms %e$elo e% by my colleagues an% me at 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises, #nc. are %esigne% to hel artici ants rocess an% integrate information about new ers ecti$es. &e hel eo le come u with new ers ecti$es an% use them an% a%a t to them an% %is ense with them, an% we intro%uce eo le to each other who are intereste% in ongoing ersonal growth. !ur own courses are not the only ones we recommen%. There are a lot of goo% teachers an% goo% courses in ersonal growth these %ays. !ur rograms are 'ust art of what is a$ailable, but a certain amount of %iscrimination is re(uire% to sort the airy fairy from the authentic learning an% we sort through what is a$ailable using certain stan%ar%s. &e think that if we use honesty, sharing, an% practicality as our gui%elines for 'u%ging the $alue of training rograms an% books, there is a lot of hel for ersonal growth out there these %ays. &hen you rea% this book, or if you take any of our rograms, lease be selfish. 1ake sure you get the benefit of a more useful ers ecti$e as well as ractice in a lying it. Goo% luck. Bra% Blanton - arrowhawk 2anuary 1>>>
Introduction: The Dec ine o! Indi"idu# P$%chother#&% #nd the Ri$e o! Ther#&eutic Co''unit%
.et's talk straight here for a while. # think being honest hel s, e$en though it can be kin% of %e ressing to start with. #n fact, let's start with that kin% of %e ressing truth about low le$el %e ression. *ren't almost all the a%ults you know, an% most of your frien%s an% ac(uaintances, less than ha y, not li$ing u to their full otential, sometimes lying an% sneaking aroun%, getting by with what they can, an% generally, furti$ely, looking here an% there for a little relief or leasure or free%om6 Don't they waste a lot of energy more or less %es erately reten%ing that e$erything is all right6 Don't you6 *ren't most of us 'ust com letely resigne%, or trying too har%, or feeling %e resse% at a low le$el a lot of the time6 #f you ha en to hear somebo%y singing the blues about how life is7like, for e)am le, the song that goes4 0# got the stea%ily %e ressin' low %own min% messin' workin' at the carwash blues90, %on't you want to say 0*men: *in't it the truth:0 Doesn't it make you feel better to hear someone singing about it6 #f you walk %own the street an% 'ust look at eo le's faces, or if you %ri$e in traffic an% watch eo le in their cars, an% make a (uick 'u%gment, one face at a time, %o any of them look ha y6 #f you encounter two out of ten that actually look ha y, you'$e ha% a goo% %ay, ha$en't you6 1ost of us, at a glance, 'ust from our faces, look mil%ly %istracte% or fro?en or furious or sa% or com letely maske% or %es erately tense or in a big hurry or 'ust lain worrie%, most of the time. 1any of us li$e in the /nite% -tates of *merica, one of the richest, most owerful, greatest countries in the worl%, but by the time most of us grow u , we are not really ha y. 1ost of the eo le # know an% # think robably most of the eo le you know, inclu%ing us, are not %ealing with a full %eck, not ha y, not firing on all cylin%ers. # mean, really, isn't this the way most of us are actually li$ing most of the time6 # think our whole culture is, in many ways, insane, an% it's taking o$er the worl%. &e ha$e all gone cra?y together. &e are cra?y o$er money. The whole worl% is in$ol$e%. The best an% most nurturing cultures are succumbing to the influence of multinational cor orations for the sake of toys a%$ertise% on T@. 1ore an% more of us %irectly or in%irectly are working for 0the 1an.0 The a$erage work week in the /nite% -tates in 1>A4 was se$enteen ;:< hours shorter than in 1>>4. !n a$erage, we are all working se$enteen hours er week longer than eo le %i% in 1>A4: ;Borten, When #orporations $ule the World< +ot only that, if you take into account the real $alue of the money ma%e in terms of urchasing ower, the current ca tains of in%ustry ha$e two workers for the same rice they ai% for one in 1>A4: #t's a great thing that women can work an% com ete in the market lace, but it is incre%ibly stu i% for men an% women to ha$e chil%ren together an% both kee working fiftyCfi$e to si)ty hours a week. This is articularly true when chil%ren are young. #t is also absolutely ri%iculous for single arents to be working all the time to care for chil%ren they are not actually, in reality, caring for.
#n our culture, in the &estern worl% ;which is the mo%el now being co ie% by the rest of the worl%<, we ha$e recently come to $alue money an% the material it ro$i%es more than being with our chil%ren. &e're aban%oning our chil%ren when they are $ery young an% lea$ing them to caretakers other than oursel$es, using the rationali?ation that we ha$e to %o that in or%er to take care of our chil%ren. That is a terrible mistake. These caretakers %o the best they can, but for the most art, %o not lo$e the chil% like arents who bon% with their own chil% u on its arri$al. ;*n%, sa%ly, by gi$ing birth in hos itals, where often e$erything that can be %one to block initial bon%ing occurs, many arents miss e$en this7the best an% first real o ortunity to bon% with their chil%ren.< /sually, in s ite of misse% o ortunities to bon% at the $ery beginning, arents generally still lo$e their chil%ren. They %o the best they can, but within an e)tremely illC fitting an% ina ro riate arenting an% e%ucational system an% culture that has become increasingly %ysfunctional since its ince tion. The more a lot of us think about this, the more our %e ression seems to turn towar% anger. # think that is a goo% thing. # think it's time we get ma% about cultural ignorance instea% of %e resse% because we can't make en%s meet. #t is time for a re$olution. # %on't mean a hony 5e ublican re$olution with welfare reform that im o$erishes another one an% a half million chil%ren to rotect the oor hel less rich eo le. # %on't mean a hony Democratic re$olution where the %ro in the bucket of ha$ing 0 ai% lea$e0 for arents when chil%ren are sick is haile% as a great lea forwar%. # mean a re$olution, a turning of the wheel, that comes from waking u an% seeing the stu i%ity of what we ha$e all been %oing. 1any of us are working at home now, an% many more will be %oing so in the ne)t ten years. &e ho e that by %oing this we will get to s en% more time with our chil%ren an% our mates an% our frien%s, but often we won't. 8$en if we %o, an% we are in our min%s, rather than in touch, we might as well not be there. &e ha$e ho e that a kin% of symbolic 0being there0 will substitute for real contact with chil%ren, frien%s, an% mates. #t %oesn't. &e are, all of us, most of the time, sim ly o erating from a commonly share% belief system that is (uite %ysfunctional. % think this all has to do with lying. Indi"idu# P$%chother#&% in # D%$!unction# F#'i % Doe$n't Wor. Un e$$ the F#'i % Ch#n)e$ For twentyCfi$e years, # ha$e been a racticing clinical sychologist in &ashington, D.,., s eciali?ing in in%i$i%ual, grou , an% cou les sychothera y. # ha$e hel e% thousan%s of a$erage, normal, miserable eo le become less miserable, normal, an% a$erage. # hel e% them to (uit lying the way they ha% been taught by nearly e$ery erson an% institution they ha% been in contact with all their li$es. &hen they (uit withhol%ing, hi%ing, mani ulating, erforming, or lying outright to e$eryone in their li$es, their %e ression went away. *n)iety %isor%ers %isa eare%. Dsychosomatic ailments were cure%. 1ost of my work with eo le has been about re airing the %amage %one by their e%ucation an% arenting. Their arents an% teachers
communicate% that the highest $alue a erson coul% hol% was to erform well, or at least to a ear to erform well. They ha% learne% ne$er to be satisfie% with anything less than erfection an% always to reten% that e$erything is okay an% im ro$ing. &ho you are, they were tol%, is your erformance. &ith such a stress on erformance, their whole li$es became an act. Then, maintaining an% enhancing the act ca ture% all their attention an% they began slowly star$ing to %eath for lack of the nurturance that comes from common lace e) erience. *lmost all of us ha$e been oisone% by such retense, an% few of us grow beyon% that. &e lie like hell all the time to maintain our systematically in%octrinate% image of who we are. &e *mericans li$e ri$ilege% li$es in a won%erful country with fantastic o ortunities and we ha$e been brainwashe% since the %ay we were born. #n fact, we are so use% to the brainwashing we har%ly e$en notice it any more. &e are use% to being oisone% on a regular basis so much from within oursel$es an% outsi%e oursel$es that we %on't e$en notice we are feeling sick anymore. *s a result, we li$e in a kin% of wellC%ecorate% hell together. Telling the truth can hel you start to notice how you oison yourself, how you feel as a result, an% how you maintain the social structures aroun% you to kee the nausea that comes with maintaining the act. !nce that occurs, all hell breaks loose. Base% on my e) erience as a sychothera ist, worksho lea%er, an% consultant, # ha$e come to the conclusion that what most %ramatically transforms li$es from normal misery to unreasonable ha iness is telling the truth. &hen # talk about telling the truth, # mean gi$ing a blowCbyCblow %escri tion of what ha ene%, what you thought about what ha ene%, an% how you felt at the time it ha ene%, as well as what you are %oing, thinking, an% feeling about it right now. #t is im ortant that you tell these things to the eo le from whom you are most incline% to hi%e this information. &ll there is to tell the truth about is what you ha"e done, what you think, and what you feel. Telling the truth is har% to %o, because it is so contrary to our con%itioning. Deo le might get their feelings hurt, or get offen%e% or shocke% or unbearably relie$e%. But if neither you nor they run away, an% you stay with your e) erience, on the other si%e of that shortCterm breaking of the taboo is great free%om an% lo$e for each other. Telling the truth is har%, but co$ering u is har%er on you an% har%er to li$e with than the truth. Being isolate% within our own internallyC'u%ging min%s is what most of us suffer an% %ie from. The rescue from our min%'s o ression comes through authentic contact an% honest sharing with other human beings. +ot only %oes the (uality of our li$es %e en% on this contact an% sharing, but as Dr. Dean !rnish has %emonstrate% in his recent book, 'o"e and (ur"i"al) The (cientific *asis for the +ealing ,ower of %ntimacy, life itself %e en%s on this authentic contact with others. Two recent mo$ies, (ecrets and 'ies an% #ourage -nder Fire, illustrate the transformation that follows from telling the truth. #n both mo$ies, when the main characters finally muster the courage to tell the truth, the %ifficulties they face as a result are less %amaging to e$eryone than the
lies they ha% been hi%ing behin%. That same kin% of transformation has been e) erience% by hun%re%s of realClife gra%uates of my worksho s an% sychothera y. #n each case where this e)traor%inary le$el of honesty occurs in real life, there is an authentic sharing of emotion, a rebirth of intimacy, an% a renewal of relationshi an% sychological healing7in many cases not only for the truthteller, but also for those hearing the truth. Here are a few e)am les of the transformations accom lishe% by some of the artici ants in 5a%ical HonestyE worksho s. * husban% who was ha$ing an affair, an% not for the first time, tol% his wife the truth when he %escribe% in %etail the number of times he ha% seen his lo$ers, what he ha% %one with them an% how he felt %uring the liaisons. The initial con$ersations were really har%, an% both he an% his wife li$e% through a lot of fury an% hurt an% fear. They were coache% by other frien%s an% me who sim ly hel% constant for them the goal of being e) licit an% clear about what they felt, what they thought, an% what they ha% %one. 8$entually, she forga$e him an% they chose to continue li$ing together. The result was not only forgi$eness for hurts an% transgressions from the ast, but great 'oy an% renewal of the whole family. The ers ecti$e an% the con$ersation an% the closeness that %e$elo e% out of that renewal continues to this %ay, as they work to consciously %esign an% create together the future life of their family. *fter withhol%ing information from her fun%amentalist arents for years, a %aughter tol% them the truth about an abortion she'% ha% while in college. -he went back an% tol% them e$erything, inclu%ing how she got regnant, what she'% %one when she foun% out, where she went for the abortion, an% how she felt about not being able to tell them. -he was sure her arents woul% %isown her. Her arents e) resse% their sorrow at her ha$ing gone through that e) erience alone, an% their %esire to be there for her e$en if she $iolate% their e) ectations an% $alues. -he an% her arents now ha$e a more authentic an% o en relationshi . Do?ens of times, # ha$e coache% women to make similar re$elations, with like results. !ut of this e) erience they can, for the first time, make lans for the future of their own lo$e relationshi s an% the families that rocee% from them without being blocke% by un%one knots from the ast. * young man wante% a better relationshi with his arents but felt that certain things were 0uns eakable0 as a art of the family co%e of silence. He ha% a fi$eC hour session with his arents in which he share% s ecific resentments an% s ecific a reciations for things they ha% s oken an% %one in the ast, an% s oke in %etail about things that were im licitly not talke% about in his family. *fterwar%, he began to reali?e that the 0family co%e0 was artly in his imagination. He also became more o en to who his arents really were, 'ust as they became more o en to who he was. +ow they all acknowle%ge that a new family of a%ult frien%s has been born, ma%e u of eo le who work together on 'oint ro'ects an% su ort each other in se arate ro'ects. ;There are many millions of eo le in the worl% who ne$er really get to know their arents as a%ults. For others, this sim le rocess of %eclaring 0# am grown0 an% 0this is what # resent about you an% a reciate about you from the ast an% this is who #
am an% what # $alue now0 often lea%s to com lete renewal of the whole family an% stan%s in stark contrast to the norm.< * woman %iagnose% by hysicians with arthritis tol% the truth to her husban% about an affair she ha% been hi%ing for a long time. They e$entually s lit u , but her 0arthritis0 went away. Her ne)t relationshi was one of more honesty, less ain an% illness, an% more creati$ity in a share% life together. * man with chronic slee Conset insomnia starte% falling aslee eacefully e$ery night after cleaning u his act by telling the truth at work an% at home. He riske% his 'ob by telling his boss his s ecific resentments an% as a result, instea% of getting fire%, he was gi$en a raise in ay. He riske% his relationshi with his wife by telling her the truth about what he felt, thought an% %i%, an% instea% of her lea$ing, they fell in lo$e again. *s a si%e effect, he can slee now. He now has work an% lo$e in a community of frien%s rather than a life of isolation. There are scores more of such e)am les throughout our own ra%ical honesty community of frien%s. The common threa% across all these stories of successful %eli$erance from the min% is the re"ision of an incorrect belief, on the part of each indi"idual, about who they are. &hen we %isco$er that we are not our re utations in the eyes of our arents or bosses or s ouses, we also %isco$er the same thing about other eo le. &e fin% out who we are behin% the mask of false i%entity, an% simultaneously begin to glim se the same in those close to us. !nce this gets straightene% out, authentic con$ersation can begin. -ometimes it begins with a erson a%mitting that they are a liar an% accusing their frien%s of being liars as well an% then sticking with the %iscussion until they all can laugh at their own an% each other's retentiousness. Deliverance from Mistaken Identity &hen # wrote $adical +onesty, a number of conce ts ha% become a arent to me, through working with hun%re%s of eo le suffering from %e ression, an)iety %isor%ers, an% stressCrelate% ailments. These conce ts follow. 1..ying is the rimary source of most human stress. F.-tress is cause% by the min% of the in%i$i%ual suffering from stress, not by circumstances. G.1ost suffering is generate% by the ten%ency of the min% to morali?e an% 'u%ge, an% to mistake belief for reality. 4.1ost of us suffer from the fun%amental roblem of mistaken i%entity7we ten% to i%entify with our 'u%gments an% criticisms of oursel$es an% belie$e our 'u%ging min%s to be who we are. Free%om from the foolish notion that our fun%amental i%entity is a 'u%ge an% critic gi$es us the ossibility of li$ing our li$es accor%ing to our preferences rather than the 0shoul%s0 our min%s generate. !nce eo le com lete the un%oing of their ast lies an% get 0current0 by telling the truth, they must continually regroun% themsel$es in the resent moment with the use of %aily ractices that hel them stay current. The %aily ractices, as the worl%'s great wis%om tra%itions ha$e always taught, all ha$e to %o with noticing. 1e%itating, telling the truth, racticing yoga, being aware with the senses, an% many other ractices lea% to a new way of i%entifying oneself. This new i%entity as the Noticer rather
than the erformer grows on you. The +oticer takes charge of the min% rather than the re$erse. Belief is %istinguishe% from reality. *n in%i$i%ual is born. #n a%%ition to %aily ractices to maintain an% shar en noticing, something else is e(ually im ortant4 the min% has to be gi$en new work to %o, to kee it from backsli%ing into its habitual atterns. The 'u%ging min% is like a teething u yH it nee%s to be gi$en a bone or toy or an ol% rag to chew on. That new work for the min%C%og, that 0something bigger0 to chew on, is the work of creating one's life as an artist. Getting free an% staying free from the 'ail of the min%, i%entifying oneself as a noticing being, an% using the min% rather than being use% by it are ractices at the heart of how honest eo le create the goo% life in a community of frien%s. Approaching Life Problems !nce belief is %istinguishe% from reality, a whole new a roach to life roblems emerges. &e sto wasting energy rotesting an% sim ly acce t that life comes with roblems, whether we are honest or engage in s iritual ractices or not. Droblems are best han%le% by confronting them o enly rather than kee ing them secretH by telling other eo le what roblems we ha$e an% working them out in the ublic arena. *s it turns out, not all roblems are miserable. * lot of roblems are fun. 8$en those that were once miserable can become fun through a change of ers ecti$e an% a change of heart. Deo le who sto resisting life roblems become a community of su ort for each other's ractice of honesty, awareness, an% creating life by intentional %esign. The most won%erful thing about this whole rocess is that eo le's contributions to the li$es of others become the rimary means of getting the results they want in their own li$es. A!ter Li5er#tion !ro' the 8#i o! the ,ind9Con$ciou$ Cre#tion 1y clients ha$e all been a$erage, functional, ta)C aying, $oting citi?ens7 normal eo le7with roblems that were getting them %own. !ut of the work they %i% with me an% my colleagues, howe$er, they became abnormal eo le7abnormally successful. They %i%n't settle for 'ust getting o$er something or resol$ing their roblems. They began to create. &hen that ha ene%, my 'ob change%. # became a coach for creating. *s the 5a%ical Honesty &orksho s e$ol$e%, my 'ob shifte% from encouraging liberation from limiting beliefs to su orting 0%esigner beliefs07beliefs consciously in$ente% to bring about certain results. The function of the min% shifts from maintaining an image to imagining a future an% then to creating a future. Beliefs that are 'ust functional an% not a substitute for reality can be useful. The future that emerges from conscious lanning an% conscious use of the min% is absolutely not re%ictable by inference from the liberate% erson's ast. 8nergy that was once e) en%e% on selfCcriticism, conflict, an% suffering has instea% nurture% ro'ects resulting in multimillionC%ollar businesses, startu s of new enter rises, marriages after years of inability to artner u , chil%ren born an% a%o te%, homes built, careers change%, in%ebte%ness resol$e%, an% reunion with alienate% frien%s an% families accom lishe%. Take, for e)am le, 1elo%y Harris.
De&re$$ion #nd Li5er#tion The first moment # met 1elo%y Harris she starte% crying. -he came into my office for a sychothera y a ointment, intro%uce% herself, sat %own, sai%, 01y sisterCinClaw tol% me to come see you because #'m %e resse%90 an% starte% crying. # 'ust watche% her an% waite% an% %i%n't say anything. -he %ug a bunch of tissues out of her urse, blew her nose, looke% at me, an% starte% talking again. !$er the course of that first hour we s ent together, # foun% out that she was in her forties, li$e% alone with a fi$eC yearCol% chil% she'% a%o te% 'ust before her husban% left her, an% worke% as a secretary in a law firm. -he hate% her 'ob, e$en though she like% the lawyers for whom she worke%. There was a history of %e ression in her family, an% she ha% been on antiC%e ressant me%ications of $arious sorts for se$eral years. *t the time, although 1elo%y was taking Dro?ac, she still crie% fre(uently an% felt ho eless a lot. # also learne% that she lo$e% to rea%, ha% rea% lots of goo% literature an% selfChel books, an% that she ha% a sense of humor. Towar% the en% of the hour, # aske%, 0Di% you hear the 'oke about the com uter rogrammer who %ie% in the shower60 1elo%y sai%, 0+o.0 # sai%, 0-he followe% the label on the sham oo. #t sai%, '&et hair. .ather. 5inse. 5e eat.'0 1elo%y looke% blank for about fi$e secon%s an% then laughe%7a great big guffaw of a laugh. -he got it. -he got that the com uter rogrammer, caught in the 0%oCloo 0 of the instructions an% sham ooing herself to %eath, was 'ust like herself in some way. -he got the 'oke an% she got that the 'oke was on her at the same time. # like% her an% thought she was smart an% funny an% she felt the same about me. That was about three years ago. 1elo%y an% her eightCyearCol% %aughter came to our house to $isit for the weeken% not too long ago. &e s ent most of the time laughing, singing songs, an% talking about her lans to (uit her 'ob, sell her house, an% mo$e out to the country. 1y wife, *my, an% the ki%s an% # lo$e her. 1elo%y is no longer $ictimi?e% by %e ression, an% o$er the last si) months has been able to slowly re%uce the amount of me%ication she's been taking so that now she is off it altogether. -he may or may not stay off me%ication, but the choice will be ma%e by her accor%ing to what she notices about her life an% her moo%s, not accor%ing to some hysician's best guess about the state of her neurotransmitters. -he recently tol% me she ha%n't starte% the %ay by crying in the morning for o$er si) months. -he is way ha ier most of the time than she use% to be. 1elo%y learne% how to be ha ier an% no longer $ictimi?e% by soCcalle% en%ogenous ;genetic, biochemical< %e ression. -he was worse off than you robably are. "et she sto e% being a $ictim an% became a creator. -he sto e% being a $ictim of circumstance an% became the creator of her own life. #t %i%n't ha en o$ernight. -he still has rela ses. But she herself an% anyone who knows her will tell you, she is more in control of her life than she use% to be. -he %i% it systematically, o$er about a threeCyear erio%,
through in%i$i%ual an% grou sychothera y, artici ating in worksho s an% grou s %esigne% an% con%ucte% by me an% other eo le # ha$e traine%, an% by s en%ing time li$ing among an% laying with other honest eo le. -he came to 1e)ico with us in early February for the last cou le of years with about fiftyCfi$e of our closest frien%s, to atten% the *nnual /ncon$ention of the Futilitarian /nion +etwork, which is the name of our 0cult.0 -he (uit her 'ob an% mo$e% to the country with her %aughter an% until recently has been li$ing with us while re aring to buil% a little house nearby. -he is consciously %esigning a way to make a li$ing in some less miserable fashion by working with us an% car$ing out a new career. Dual Relationships There is a term among sychothera ists for the kin% of healing that in$ol$es creating together an% being frien%s4 it's calle% 0%ual relationshi 0 an% you lose your license to ractice sychothera y for it. * %o?en or so thera ists a year lose their licenses an% their listing in the +ational 5egistry of Health -er$ice Dro$i%ers in Dsychology for con%ucting 0%ual relationshi s0 with their clients. These rules were ma%e when the mo%el we were o erating un%er was the %octorI atient or teacherIstu%ent mo%el. This mo%el was set u to rotect the atient or stu%ent from being taken a%$antage of se)ually or financially by the caretaker an% to re$ent the caretaker from ha$ing un%ue influence o$er a atient or stu%ent's life because of the osition of authority hel% by the caretaker. -eeking to a$oi% any ossible Bill ,linton an% 1onica .ewinsky e$ents or cult lea%er a%$antages, license% thera ists ma%e rules that say we are su ose% to lay %octor an% our clients are su ose% to lay atient an% so we shoul%n't hang out with each other at all. *s is the case with the e$olution of most rules an% regulations in the min%s of most eo le, what starts out as an im ulse towar% fairness an% consumer rotection e$entually becomes moralism an% ignorance. #n the conte)t of honesty we are e(uals from the start. &hate$er e) ertise gets share% comes from another flawe% human being. ,urrently, all my relationshi s to all my clients are %ual relationshi s. The e$olution of sychothera y an% teaching to the stage where the thera ist an% teacher are %emote% an% the ower of the client is romote% has occurre% in the conte)t of honesty to the oint where we are resume% e(ual because, in fact, we are. *s beings we are e(ual to start. *s min%s, we are both screwe% u whether we are laying trainer or trainee, an% either one of us may be more screwe% u than the other at any gi$en time. 1ost of the sychothera ists # train nowa%ays a%mit this e(uality of being an% most form frien%shi s with their clients. That kin% of sharing is actually critical to creating the kin% of thera eutic community that gi$es rise to the sychological growth of all its members, inclu%ing its soCcalle% lea%ers. This book e) lores the same ath 1elo%y an% others ha$e followe% an% inclu%es most of the content of the training grou s that teach a new egalitarian mo%el for li$ing calle% radical honesty. 1elo%y is now busily engage% in the rocess of consciously %esigning her life. -he has accom lishe% her main goal
of no longer ha$ing her moo% %etermine the results she gets in the worl%. #ronically, this %etachment from moo% has ha% a subtle but unmistakably ositi$e effect on her moo%. -he is now in training to be a trainer to run grou s that teach ra%ical honesty. 1y family an% frien%s an% fellow thera ists an% trainers an% other 0%ual relationshi 0 clients are working away at mo%eling an% teaching this way of 0li$ing out lou%0 an% 0li$ing with no a ology0 that we ha$e learne% from each other. How Does ne Live Honestly! First of all, 1elo%y took ermanent res onsibility for the momentCtoC moment (uality of her own life. Then she learne% a number of ractices that kee her groun%e% in the resentH noticing her e) erience an% %istinguishing between noticing an% thinking. -he me%itates an% e)ercises regularly, communicates her feelings all the time whether she is scare% to %o so or not, ractices yoga occasionally, s eaks honestly with other eo le about her life an% theirs, an% seeks coaching from frien%s about work an% chil%CrearingCrelate% roblems an% er le)ities. *s a result of our coaching an% con$ersations an% encouragement, she also contacte% an% com lete% unfinishe% business with eo le from her ast, most notably her e)Chusban% from whom she ha% been alienate% for se$en years. -he foun% him an% met with him in erson. FaceCtoCface an% out lou%, she tol% him what she resente% him for an% what she a reciate% him for. *fter she ha% trace% him %own an% met with him to clearly e) erience an% li$e through all the anger, hurt, an% a reciation she ha% a$oi%e% for all those years, she foun% that her life change%. #n all the rest of her life, she now has the ower to make things ha en %ifferently from how they ha% ha ene% before. -he com lete% what ha% been a$oi%e% an% left incom lete, in the real worl%, with real eo le in her real life. *n% she has ha% more ower in relation to e$ery erson she has come in contact with since then. #n a%%ition to what 1elo%y learne% by facing those ma'or things she ha% a$oi%e%, there were %o?ens of other small things that she learne% to %o as a result of her o enness an% a$ailability. *s both a%$isee an% a%$isor to her frien%s in our local ra%ical honesty community, which is ma%e u of eo le who are also taking charge of their li$es, she has continue% to become more skillful at listening an% communicating. 8$eryone in this community has trie% both a$oi%ance an% taking charge an% they ha$e foun% that making things ha en is more gratifying than whining an% com laining an% blaming an% making e)cuses for all the ba% things that ha$e ha ene% to them that were beyon% their control. &e all remin% each other of that now an% then. Those of us who ha$e %isco$ere% our own authority in our li$es ha$e com assion for those who ha$en't, but we %on't buy into their tales of woeCisCme. &e often make fun of each other as much or more than we feel sorry for each other. &hen we get o$er the stories about the ast that we ha$e been li$ing in, what use% to be tragic often turns out to be more funny than tragic. *s a result of communicating with honest frien%s o$er a erio% of time an% com leting what she ha% a$oi%e% in the ast, 1elo%y no longer belie$es a number of things she use% to belie$e. -he use% to think she
was a "ictim of %e ression an% many other acci%ents of fate, an% that there was nothing she coul% %o about it e)ce t to stay on me%ications at high %osage le$els that ha% negati$e si%e effects ;no se)ual interest, %ulle% sensations, weight gain, an% more<. -he use% to think that she ha% to kee working at a 'ob she hate% no matter what. Through coaching an% ractice in noticing sensations in her bo%y, from one moment to the ne)t, 1elo%y came to recogni?e that a global category like 0%e ression0 %i%n't recisely %escribe each in%i$i%ual moment of real feeling. -he became skille% in %istinguishing the %ifference between limiting beliefs, such as 0# am a %e resse% erson,0 an% actual e) erience, such as 0# feel ressure in my chest right now an% # am crying.0 -he %e$elo e% skills for %esigning ste CbyCste blue rints to buil% the future she en$isions for herself an% her %aughter. Furthermore, she has the continuous su ort of a community of eo le who lo$e her an% consi%er themsel$es to be in the same boat with regar% to making their li$es work. By telling the truth about what we ha$e re$iously a$oi%e%, we rogress from li$ing within the restraining conte)t of limiting beliefs, to noticing real e) erience, to conscious design of the future with the hel of a community of frien%s. This is accom lishe% through a series of learnings. This book is a %etaile% %escri tion of that series of learnings. !f course, it's not 'ust folks who ha$e worke% with me who are making these great transformations. There are other thera ists an% trainers an% consultants an% teachers an% hiloso hers who, out of %isco$ering their own in%i$i%uality, make immense contributions to others by assisting them to fin% their own in%i$i%uality. #t's more like a mo$ement. This book is %e%icate% to that mo$ement. Those of us fe% u with retense an% lying are gaining groun%. * re$olution is ha ening. #t is calle% the re$olution of consciousness. #t in$ol$es4 1..iberation from the tra%itional 'ail of the min%H F.,onstant engagement in the ractices of me%itation, awareness, an% ra%ical honesty to maintain contact with being ali$e an% with othersH an% G.,onsciously %esigning the future with the hel of frien%s7being a creator in a community of creators. "he Revolution of #onsciousness *s # ha$e tra$ele% across the country s eaking an% %oing book signings an% lea%ing worksho s on ra%ical honesty, # ha$e met hun%re%s of eo le who are members of a great re$olution in consciousness resently taking lace in *merica, an% in much of the rest of the worl%, fomente% by in%i$i%uals who want to im ro$e not only their own li$es, but also to change the way society e%ucates us about what is im ortant an% $aluable. The lefto$ers from 2u%eoC,hristian fun%amentalism an% stoicism 7the belief instille% in most of us that we must suffer all kin%s of unha iness 'ust to sur$i$e7still %etermine for most of us our automatic a roach to life. &e who ha$e grown beyon% that ha$e learne% two $ery im ortant things4 we %on't know much about how to lea$e oursel$es alone, an% life can be so much easier than how most of us are willing to
let oursel$es li$e. .ife can be so much richer when we shift the focus from increasing the .uantity of our accumulations an% concentrate instea% on the .uality of our attention. There is a way out of the %es erate, %ri$en way of li$ing we ha$e all been taught, an% we can only create it, simultaneously for oursel$es an% each other, through an honest %ialogue about how our li$es are an% how we want our collecti$e future to be. # am writing this book to make it ossible for rea%ers to benefit from the same rocesses an% ractices that ha$e hel e% my clients, worksho artici ants, an% me not only to get o$er our suffering, but to begin creating a less %ysfunctional worl% family. Through all these years of working closely as a sychothera ist with eo le who were screwe% u by how they were arente%, instructe%, an% acculturate%, # ha$e been asking myself4 0&hat makes eo le ha y an% free60 0&hat is functional an% what's %ysfunctional60 0&hat is an a$erage functional erson, an% how %oes a highly functioning human being o erate60 1ore an% more, the answer to all these (uestions has something to %o with continuing to grow. *n% continuing to grow seems more an% more to re(uire she%%ing one's min% an% one's out%ate% culture like a snake she%%ing his skin each time he outgrows it. * fulfille% life is going to be something %ifferent for e$ery erson, but there are some (ualities, skills, an% abilities that are essential. #n a%%ition to being willing to take res onsibility for one's own life, an% maintaining an ongoing engagement in ractices that kee one groun%e% in the e) erience of being an% noticing, one nee%s to fin% work that seems like lay. &hat use% to be work becomes lay because it is base% on the future you en$ision an% want to bring into being sim ly because you lo$e the i%ea of it. To make all this ossible, you nee% skill in maintaining strong, nurturant, lo$ing artici ation in a community of frien%s who su ort you in an honest an% creati$e life. 5ather than using your min% sim ly to react to the e$ents in the resent that $aguely remin% you of your ast, as most of the miserable eo le in the worl% %o, you use your min% instea% to create a future for yourself an% your frien%s. $adical +onesty %% is about the reCattainment an% re%isco$ery of what +iet?sche calle% 0that seriousness of a chil% at lay.0 This book shares insights, ractices, an% e)ercises that work. Done in se(uence, they allow you to mo$e all the way from feeling o$erwhelme% an% %e resse% to feeling, most of the time, like your whole life is laying an% ha$ing fun an% contributing to other eo le. To mo$e along the ath from being a $ictim of o$erwhelming circumstances to becoming a masterful creator at lay, you must constantly ractice noticing with the senses to esca e %omination by the min%. "he $orkbook %ection The re$olution of consciousness is the organi?ing rinci le for the workbook. The ath goes like this4 first we recogni?e an% then transcen% the limiting beliefs of our own min%s, sto being $ictims of our own an% our cultures' ignorant an% out%ate% re'u%ices, an% acce t full
res onsibility for the (uality of our resent an% future li$es. !nce we get beyon% the ara%igm of beliefs that has been limiting us, an% are restore% to our true i%entity as beings in our bo%ies right here an% now, we ha$e to ut our min%s to work %oing something other than worrying an% critici?ing. &e %o this because we ha$e learne% that if we %on't gi$e our min%s work to %o %esigning the future, they will con$ert remembere% e) erience into limiting beliefs all o$er again. To kee our conce ts about reality from reca turing the hereCan%Cnow s ace of the e) erience of reality, we assign our min%s the task of bringing into being a future we en$ision. /nless the work that we gi$e our min%s kee s them busy, we will go back to 'u%ging oursel$es accor%ing to the ol%Cfashione% an% ina ro riate $alues of the ast an% belie$ing that who we are is the 'u%geCan%C$ictim game. &e ha$e to gi$e our min%s something to chew on or they chew on us. Designe% to be use% by in%i$i%uals or grou s, the workbook section of this book contains e)ercises an% e) eriments an% ractical techni(ues for becoming attune% to the sensations of our bo%ies an% groun%e% in our e) erience in the here an% now. These ractices allow us to become identified, through practice, with our ability to notice. The workbook e)ercises are intro%uce%, one set at a time, accor%ing to what seems to be the natural %e$elo mental se(uence eo le go through when they begin to grow u . The highlights of the ste s are as follows. Fir$t: 3et O"er It +obo%y is going to be able to make u for how you got treate% as a chil%. +o one owes you com ensation for your suffering. The scars are not going to go away, an% the o%%s are you can't be fi)e% anyway. #t turns out that no matter how goo% a listener your thera ist is, your whining about how your arents %i%n't %o it right, an% how nobo%y has %one a goo% enough 'ob since then, isn't going to hel you lea% a better life. "ou nee% to acce t what skills an% scars you ha$e an% li$e in the resent an% look to the future. !nce you acce t that being a $ictim is an im otent rotest an% a waste of your life an% energy, you ha$e a chance to %o something about it. !ne of the first things you %o is go back an% confront your arents an% e)Cs ouses an% begru%ge% eo le from the ast an% com lete with them, forgi$e them, acknowle%ge them, an% turn yourself loose from your story about you an% them. 8) ress your resentment an% get o$er it. 8) ress your a reciation an% get o$er it. Then, articulate an% confirm $alue %ifferences that are real, an% be se arate in%i$i%uals an% still be relate% in the conte)t of forgi$eness. Get o$er it. Drimarily, we are each $ictimi?e% by one thing only4 the limiting ers ecti$e of our own min%s. Formerly limiting ers ecti$es, once transcen%e%, can be use% to construct a better life. "ou can create the life you want using the e(ui ment you ha$e. "our neuroses, your limiting beliefs, your %efenses, your aranoia, an% your hy ersensiti$ity can all become useful tools once your ers ecti$e on them changes. 8)am les of this transformation are lentiful. 2ohn Bra%shaw, the famous author, ersonality theorist, an% thera ist, says he became a thera ist out of his co%e en%ent relationshi with his
mother. There is a fellow # know who teaches the rich an% famous how to stay safe, a skill he %e$elo e% from being an abuse% chil% an% then a thief. He began his training in life by learning to watch for subtle cues in the beha$ior of otentially $iolent eo le an% to ri them off first, in or%er to a$oi% being ri e% off. He now teaches eo le how to a$oi% being $ictimi?e% by eo le skille% in his kin% of sur$i$al system. 1y wife, *my -il$er, a writer, songwriter, an% erformer, s ent her chil%hoo% climbing trees an% rea%ing books to esca e the fury of her hysterical mother an% the insanity of her s ace ca%et father an% the way they ran the family in her earlier years. *fter she $oluntarily came back to this worl%, she turne% out to be a oet, ha$ing learne% to synthesi?e her facility with language with her skills in noticing. -he now uses her art to share her $ulnerability with others as a singerIsongwriter instea% of trying to 0esca e0 or 0get better.0 #n all these cases, the $ery e(ui ment %e$elo e% to sur$i$e as chil%ren, which becomes the 0'ail of the min%0 ;the rimary set of limiting beliefs constraining further maturation<, when transforme%, becomes the instrument of creation. These stories are fascinating, an% we ha$e so many of them now in our community of frien%s that we are currently writing another book together, The Truthtellers) (tories of (uccess by +onest ,eople. Second: Continue to De"e o& Your A-#rene$$ The awareness continuum can be %i$i%e% into three arts4 1.&hat we notice within the confines of our own skin right nowH F.&hat we notice outsi%e of oursel$es in the momentH an%, G.&hat we notice going through our min%s right now. # call this %nside, Outside, -pside /own, after my fa$orite chil%ren's book. ;Berenstain, 1>JF<. There is a rogression in the way we train our noticing that arallels these %i$isions of the awareness continuum. 8)ercises %e$elo e% in the course of training Gestalt thera ists are use% to ractice an% %e$elo skills that in$ol$e noticing an% %escribing what is notice%. #n the ,ourse in Honesty, we teach an% ractice these e)ercises intensi$ely an% %e$elo skills in noticing. &hen we become skille% in noticing an% %escribing what is going on insi%e our bo%ies right now, we can then ractice noticing what is going on in the worl% outsi%e of oursel$es right now. Finally, we %e$elo our ability to ay attention until we become ca able of noticing what is going on in our own min%s right now. #n other wor%s, our skill in noticing what is going on within the confines of our own skin, an% our skill in noticing what is going on outside of our bo%ies, moment by moment, can e$entually be a lie% to our ability to notice our own thoughts as they arise. *fter becoming skille% in noticing, we begin to become identified with our ability to notice. &ho we consi%er oursel$es to be is the Noticer, the ercei$er who is consistently there, which inclu%es but is not limite% to the erce tion, thought, or sensation that may arise. &e ha$e erce tions, sensations, an% thoughts but they are not our rimary i%entity. .ikewise, we are not our biogra hy. We still ha"e a biography but it is not our primary identity. Though we still erform, we no longer i%entify with our
erformance as who we are. #%entification with our literal e) erience of being in our bo%y in the here an% now, resent to the e)ternal worl% here an% now, an% obser$ing our thoughts here an% now, gi$es us the o ortunity to use our min%s rather than being use% by our min%s. The ower of this (uality of attention, free from the %istractions of the min%, is %emonstrate% in the classic Burasawa film (e"en (amurai. * samurai takes on the task of %efen%ing a $illage of farmers from rai%s by ban%s of thie$es at har$est time. He nee%s more samurai to hel him. To inter$iew those willing to hel %efen% the $illage, he in$ents a system of screening a licants. He laces a samurai with a %rawn swor% 'ust insi%e the %oorway of the inter$iew room with instructions to behea% all who enter. The inter$iewer faces the %oorway to greet arri$ing a licants. #f the a licant, u on entering, notices the erson attem ting to behea% him an% blocks the blow, he is hire%. !ur trainers who lea% the 5a%ical Honesty worksho s ;the ,ourses in Honesty, Forgi$eness, an% ,reating< an% community meetings are skille% in %efen%ing against in$asions by the marau%ers of the min% who come to steal all the benefits of the work of being. The trainers ha$e been selecte% base% on their ca acity to sa$e their own li$es from being %e$oure% by their min%s. Third: S&iritu# Pr#ctice$ B P #nnin) C Cre#tion * erson who takes full res onsibility for how her life is, an% what her life is for, can create the life she wants by using a number of s iritual ractices within the conte)t of a consciouslyC%esigne% lan. The life of the s irit is maintaine% through s ecific ractices like me%itation, telling the truth, an% yoga. To li$e the s iritual life, you %on't ha$e to be a 0s iritual ty e0 or some kin% of goo%yCtwoCshoes. "ou %on't ha$e to be a religious moralist to be a s iritual erson. *s far as # can tell, s iritual an% e) eriential are synonymous. &hen # am fully engage% in any e) erience with my full attention, it is a s iritual e) erience. - iritualIe) eriential e$ents come from the heightening, %ee ening, an% wi%ening of the (uality of life through the (uality of min%ful attention. 1e%itating, telling the truth, yoga, an% many other ractices enhance the (uality of my life an% that of my frien%s because these ractices heighten our e) erience of being. - iritual ractices enhance the (uality of our li$es by heightening, %ee ening, an% wi%ening our e!perience of being through min%ful attention. *s it turns out, s iritual ractices not only enhance the (uality of life, they also em ower you to create. #n fact, to bring about the results in life you imagine you want, s iritual ractices are essential. Being holy or righteous about s iritual ractices or s iritual beliefs is entirely unnecessary an% antithetical to their functional use. #n fact, if you are a moralist, sickening %aily with the %isease of attachment to righteousness, you are as far from s iritual as a erson can get. 1y frien%s an% # ha$e foun% something more $aluable than the fun of righteousness. #t's those ama?ing moments when we are su%%enly ro%ucti$e after being ins ire% by an honest con$ersation with a frien%, or 'ust after returning from a $acation, or right after me%itation. &e ha$e
learne% that we become ro%ucti$e an% creati$e out of s iritual e) erience. - iritual ractices, both ri$ate an% ublic, are a way to ha$e regular miniC$acations that refresh your (uality of life e$ery %ay. These ractices hel kee you mentally focuse%, healthy, an% rela)e% ;in other wor%s, functioning o timally< while you im lement your lans. 5egular s iritual ractices hel you co e with the ten%ency of the min% to transform ins iration to obligation an% enable you to reca ture the s ace of free%om. Fourth: Don't Be the Lone R#n)er: Do Thi$ in Co''unit% !ngoing su ort grou s, which connect you with frien%s who are %oing the same thing you are, en% u being ro'ect lanning an% $ision sharing meetings that are at least as much fun, if not more, than whining an% moaning sessions about who is to blame. &e call them thera eutic communities. &e coul% call them creati$e communities. They are going on in cities an% townshi s all o$er the country now an% starting u in other laces in the worl%. &e ha$e %o?ens of these grou s of frien%s associate% with our work to which we refer eo le who say they are intereste% in ra%ical honesty. The final section of $adical +onesty %% %escribes the mo%el for how to %e$elo an% li$e in communities of su ort for honesty an% creation. &hen we belong to a community base% on sharing honestly, there are eo le aroun% who know us an% whom we know %ee ly. These eo le are the means of su ort for bringing about owerful results for oursel$es in the worl%, e$en if other eo le in the worl% are against us. Goo% frien%s can get us ast our own min%Ccentere%ness an% hysteria an% back into the here an% now. Goo% frien%s can also hel us feel okay when we %on't trea% the beaten ath, an% when eo le with ol%C ara%igm $alues say we're cra?y. +etworking among the communities of su ort that ha$e %e$elo e% from the 5a%ical Honesty worksho s an% affiliating with other communities of su ort that share our new $alues are ongoing sources of ins iration for all of us. Su''#r%: Fro' Dicti' to Cre#tor 1ost human suffering comes from being tra e% in the 'ail of the min%. &e are confuse% by the ma an% can't fin% the territory. .ike *l?heimer's sufferers, our brains misi%entify our surroun%ings an% we become lost an% confuse%. &e ha$e conce ts that %on't fit reality an% reality that %oesn't fit our conce ts. Then we get further into the sou by trying to e) lain why the ieces %on't fit. Then we make matters worse by trying to get oursel$es an% others to straighten u an% fit in. &e are always telling some kin% of story that buil%s a case for oursel$es, an% trying to ut on our best face so we can con$ince others we are the mo%el for what fits, goo% an% not ba%, right an% not wrong, ca able, a%e(uate to the task, an% so on. Deli$erance from the suffering cause% by being tra e% in the min% comes through sharing with other eo le how life actually is for us7 honestly7rather than lying in the con$entional ways we ha$e all learne%. &e ha$e been taught in school an% at home an% in the market lace to
antici ate what other eo le e) ect an% to erform accor%ingly, regar%less of whether it makes sense to us or has anything to %o with what we want. There is a strong taboo against telling the truth about how we actually feel an% what we actually think, an% strong reinforcement for %oing what we imagine our eers an% el%ers e) ect of us. &e are con$ince% that this erformance is $ery im ortantH we are (uite attache% to our assessments about our own an% other eo les' erformance an% our stories about who is to blame when erformances are not u to ar. Basically we are erforming an% 'u%ging all the time. ,onstantly erforming an% 'u%ging wears us out. &e get tire% from it. Getting tire% of it is the ne)t ste . $adical +onesty %% %raws on the ma'or hiloso hical systems an% religious an% sychological ractices of the worl% to %e$elo a rogram that has four fun%amental elements4 1.* series of rocesses for getting 0current0 an% %etaching from the astH F.!ngoing ractices to regroun% oursel$es in resentCtense e) erience to hel us through obstacles an% rough moments an% our min%'s builtCin resistance ;attem ting fore$er to make categories seem like reality<H G.* life ro'ects %esignCan%Cmanagement systemH an% 4.#nformation about how to %e$elo honest, sharing relationshi s with frien%s in a community of su ort so that, through making contributions to each other, we bring our in%i$i%ual ro'ects into being. The roa% from $ictim to creator is an e$erCo ening ath into the future. The combination of ra%ical honesty, s iritual ractices, an% coCcreating in community is what kee s the way clear. The lifeCaltering, communityCbuil%ing, worl%Cchanging rogram we ha$e create% an% refine% o$er the last ten years of con%ucting the intensi$e ,ourse in Honesty is resente% in %etail for the first time to the ublic at large in the workbook section of this book. The workbook section inclu%es many e)ercises an% ractices we ha$e %e$elo e% to shar en an% maintain skills in noticing, until i%entity with the +oticer comes about, an% from which a community of eo le in lo$e with each other comes into e)istence. The results you can bring into being with this technology an% these ractices are almost limitless. !nce you lose your min% an% come to your senses, you get your min% back. But, because you %on't ha$e to use it to %efen% your image anymore, you can use it for other ur oses. Then you en$ision what you want an% make a lan. Dlanning is the work of making things ha en accor%ing to your $ision. "our ersonality, which %e$elo e% from what ha ene% to you in your ast7the $ery min% system that formerly constraine% you an% cause% en%less neurotic suffering7is now the e(ui ment you use for the act of creation. &hat was once the source of your suffering becomes a tool to create an% o erate your lan for the future. 5ather than the usual sychothera eutic a roach of figuring out what is wrong with you an% trying to fi) it, this a roach a%$ocates the use of your ersonality (uirks an% roblems as instruments for creation. "ou take %amage% e(ui ment an% make something useful. -tumbling blocks become ste ing stones. Honesty about what you ha$e %one, what you feel, an% what you think,
share% on an ongoing basis, creates an intimate connection with an% concern for the ongoing wellCbeing of other eo le. !ut of this grows a community of mutual su ort an% coCcreation. #f you want the goo% life, a community of coCcreators is the lace to be.
(: Li"in) Under the O d P#r#di)'
1any of us begin to feel $ictimi?e% by our circumstances because we try to fit into a model of li"ing that doesn't work for us. &e feel tra e% by a sense of obligation to erform our li$es in obe%ience to a way of li$ing that somebo%y else in$ente%. +o matter where we li$e in the worl% or what we belie$e, when we are %ri$en by our obligations7all the things we think we 0shoul%0 %o7we get further an% further behin%, an% that way of li$ing en%s u %raining us rather than ins iring us. The ressures of mo%ernC%ay life7to mo$e faster, work har%er, earn more, get ahea%7 weigh hea$ily on us, an% as a result we're working har%er than e$er at 'obs we %on't en'oy, an% fin% we %on't ha$e enough time to s en% with our families or other ursuits of ha iness. &e work too much. -trangers are raising our chil%ren an% we are missing out on one of the most recious gifts life has to offer7being with our own families. We are li"ing in a paradigm we learned from people who had no idea what our modern li"es would be like. The arents, teachers, neighbors, oliticians, religious lea%ers, tele$ision ersonalities, writers, musicians, frien%s, an% talk show hosts who were rimarily res onsible for our e%ucation as we grew u ha% no i%ea what our li$es woul% be like now. .ikewise, we cannot know what our chil%ren's li$es will be like. #t is one of the gi$ens of li$ing in the #nformation *ge that we cannot be s ecifically re are% for the future that will show u for us. Therefore, it is critical to our happiness and well being that we get o"er attachment to beliefs .uickly and repeatedly. Deo le all o$er the worl% suffer like hell from the tenuous relationshi of their beliefs to reality. They cannot li$e ha ily within the constraints of tra%itional ignorance. Deo le who ha$e become conscious creators of their li$es7like the eo le %escribe% in the first art of this book7not only cannot li$e, they will not li$e, within the torturous constraints of these anti(uate% ara%igms. The largest single economic enterprise worldwide is the sale of illegal drugs0most of them painkillers. That %oesn't e$en count the billions s ent on legal ainkillers of one kin% or another from the harmaceutical in%ustry. *ccor%ing to Breton an% .argent, authors of The ,aradigm #onspiracy, more than half of the people in the world are addicted to some substance or some process& &hy are we so sick an% in ain6 Because we think that when we can't make life turn out the way it is su ose% to, we, oursel$es, are 'ust not goo% enough. #t's our fault that we suffer, because we are ba% an% ina%e(uate an% less ca able than 0successful0 eo le. -o we suffer an% we assume we %eser$e the suffering we get. #t coul% be, instea%, that we are fine, but 'ust a little too attache% to those mo%els of how life is su ose% to beH mo%els that %on't ha$e much to %o with reality anymore.
Deo le come to artici ate in worksho s an% sychothera y with me because they are frustrate%, o$erwhelme%, feeling %ee ly illC re are% an% ina%e(uate to the tasks they feel obligate% to erform at home an% at work, an% an)ious an% mil%ly %e resse% about the future. Their ersonal relationshi s %on't satisfy them emotionally, they are isolate% from their frien%s an% family, an% they feel %isconnecte% from being ali$e an% awake like they were as chil%ren. &e all share a kin% of cultural shift ain, from a worl% constantly in transition from one mo%el of li$ing to another. -omething 'ust %oesn't feel right, an% we cast about for someone or something e)ternal to blame. +o matter what we %o, we %on't seem to be in control of our li$es. &e're all tra e% in a %oCloo we %on't seem able to esca e. &e won%er why we're not e) eriencing a richer (uality of e)istence. &e can remember how, as chil%ren, we were eager an% curious an% ha% a s irit for li$ing. How %i% we lose it6 #s it ossible to regain our assion6 #sn't there an alternati$e to obsessi$e use of ainkillers an% alcohol an% o$ereating an% o$erwork an% other a%%icti$e substances an% rocesses6 "he Rediscovery of ur "rue Identity The illCfitting cultural ara%igms that li$e in eo le's min%s create intense suffering. These limiting cultural an% family ara%igms e)ist only in the min%s of in%i$i%uals. The courage to 0li$e out lou%0 is re(uire% of each in%i$i%ual before outmo%e% systems can be re$ise% or %is ense% with. This is why telling the truth is so critical. *s it turns out, when you tell the truth an% hear the truth enough, you become a re$olutionary. *s George !rwell sai%, 0#n a time of uni$ersal %eceit, telling the truth is a re$olutionary act.0 # wrote this book to teach eo le who ha$e suffere% from mi%%le class chil% abuse7that is, normal arenting an% schooling7how to create a way out of the min% 'ail they ha$e been built into. There is a way out of the %es erate, %ri$en way of li$ing we ha$e all been taught, an% we can only create it simultaneously for oursel$es an% each other through an honest con$ersation about how our li$es are an% how we want our future to be. Through honest con$ersations, we come to i%entify oursel$es as 0the being who notices in the moment0 rather than our case histories. There are thousan%s of us now, most of whom ha$e ne$er met each other, who are a ra i%ly growing cult, fomenters of a new re$olution, an% we lan to change the worl%. &e are going to change the worl% by mo%eling a better way to li$e than all the other cults, articularly the money cult that is currently in charge. &e are going to win the com etition with multinational cor orations an% the money cult by out%oing them in the (uality of our li$es together. The (uality of our li$es together is alrea%y better than the (uality of their li$es togetherH it will 'ust take a while to let the worl% know. &hen eo le mo%ify what they are gree%y for, it ra%ically alters what money is, an% what money means. That alteration is what the $ery last cha ter of this book is about. &e follow a trail from in%i$i%ual suffering to the e)amination of %ysfunctional families an% cultures to the establishment of communities of liberation an% ongoing renewal. $adical +onesty %% naturally follows from the conce ts in $adical +onesty,
'ust like creating with frien%s naturally follows from the ractice of ra%ical honesty. The workbook section, with e)ercises an% %etaile% instructions for %esigning an% creating a $ibrant, fulfille% life, gi$es you actions to take to em loy the min% for something other than useless worrying an% selfC criticism. Dlans for the future are the natural ne)t ste to transformation. ,reating the future intentionally is %one in the same way any artist intentionally creates a work of art, only it is %one in community an% with contributions to others as a art of the work of art itself. The O d Acti"i$t1 O d Hi&&ie1 Youn) Di$$ident Re"o ution 1any of the eo le # ha$e met on book tours an% talk shows are eo le like me, who were in the ci$il rights mo$ement, an% the antiCwar mo$ement, an% in humanistic sychology, an% in HaightC*shbury, an% in school buses tra$eling all o$er the country for years, an% e) erimenting with %rugs an% roaming aroun% the rest of the worl% to fin% out more about it. &e who are awakening, accor%ing to a recent sur$ey by the ,enter for +oetic -ciences, re resent twentyCfour ercent of the o ulation of the country. &e are e$eryone who listens to ublic ra%io. &e are the eo le who make hits out of really goo% mo$ies like (ecrets and 'ies, an% make o ular more honest T@ shows like NY,/ *lue an% $oseanne an% (einfeld ;(einfeld was honest by ortraying mo%ern li$es being a%mitte%ly so contri$e%< an% 1llen an% ,olitically %ncorrect an% 1$ an% a few others. 1inisters of $arious faiths ha$e written or calle% me after rea%ing $adical +onesty to let me know that my time as a reacher in the 1etho%ist ,hurch an% as a stu%ent of e)istentialists an% Bu%%hists an% -ufis %i% teach me something $alue% an% nee%e% by eo le in mo%ern times. Deo le in reco$ery from e$ery %rug an% rocess a%%iction known ha$e thanke% me for my work. /nitarian /ni$ersalists an% /nity ,hurch eo le an% e$en 1etho%ists ha$e been in$iting me to come an% reach an% sing my songs about this work. We're all hungry for clear articulations of what we are presently in the middle of doing. *s many eo le ha$e learne% through 5a%ical HonestyE worksho s, %eli$erance from the suffering cause% by being tra e% in the min% comes through sharing how life is for you with other eo le. This sharing can occur in sychothera y an%Ior some other kin% of formal or informal training in life. *ny instruction is re$olutionary that allows one to be groun%e% in e) erience, fun%amentally i%entifying oneself as the e) eriencer, in or%er to transcen% the min%, an% then to use the min% to stay free from the min%. The first, most im ortant transcen%ence is of a articular state of min%4 namely, moaning an% whining about how your arents %i%n't %o it right an% nobo%y has %one a goo% enough 'ob since then, either. !nce we see oursel$es whining in im otent rotest, an% really 0get0 that we are wasting our li$es that way, we ha$e a chance to %o something about it. &e come to un%erstan% that we are all rimarily $ictimi?e% by one thing only4 the limitation of ers ecti$e of our own min%s. !nce we gain a ers ecti$e on our own min%s we ha$e the ossibility of using them rather than being use% by them. #n a%%ition to this learning about
transcen%ence, an ongoing ractice or set of ractices ;such as me%itation< is necessary on a continual basis to kee the min% from reca turing the s ace of free%om an% starting to whine all o$er again about some other $ictimi?ation. This work is about how to use your min% to kee yourself from falling back to the neurotic sur$i$al skills of the min% an% its familiar com laints. "ou use your min% to transcen% your min%. "ou use your min% to %irect your attention to constantly racticing noticing, an% to your $ision of the future. #n the resent, you create work that seems like lay because it is base% on the future you en$ision an% want to bring into being because you lo$e the i%ea of it. 5ather than using your min% to sim ly react to the things in the resent that $aguely remin% you of your ast, you create. The rogression of growth for human beings who reach their full maturity is like this4 innocent chil% in touch with being7raise% by wellCintentione% but ine t an% stu i% arents to be neurotic7attains a%olescence, which is almost sychotic7gets thera y or gets wise some way, an% re%isco$ers being7becomes functional an% maintains it by racticing me%itation an% consciously creating a life as an intentional work of art in the conte)t of a community of frien%s. Getting this whole icture is critical to being able to a ly the benefits of enlightenment to your e$ery%ay life. Figure 1 summari?es the ath to maturity.
#nnocent chil% in touch with being Gets thera y or gets wise some way, an% re%isco$ers being Becomes functional an% maintains it by racticing me%itation an% consciously creating life as an intentional work of art
5aise% by wellCintentione% but ine t arents to be neurotic
*ttains a%olescence, which is almost sychotic
Fi)ure (+ The 3ro-th o! Hu'#n Bein)$ Freedo' This is a 0howCtoC%oCit book0 on free%om. $adical +onesty was the cake with the file in it, so you coul% esca e the 'ail of the min%. $adical +onesty %% is instruction on how to use the file an% where to start filing. This is the information on the ractical work of transcen%ence so we can use our min%s rather than be use% by them. That is the heart of the new re$olution, the re$olution of consciousness. The cultures of the worl%, li$ing in the min%s of the eo le of the worl%, are un%er the influence of the $arious transcen%ent, but not transcen%ent enough, metaCcults of the worl%, base% on money. The cor orateImoney culture, %irecte% by a $ery small number of $ery rich eo le, transcen%s cultural boun%aries of the worl%, but fails to transcen% its own limite% culture which is base% on the accumulation an% control of resources. !nce the eo le of the worl% learn to use the culture that has been using
*+ Wh#t I$ A ,ind And Ho- Doe$ It Wor./
them, by transcen%ing their own culture, whate$er it is, the current multiC national cor orate rule of the worl%, base% on the bottom line, will almost simultaneously be transcen%e% as well. This may or may not be traumatic, but the way the worl% is go$erne% will significantly change, an% the rocess will robably not be gra%ual. This work, which results in communities of su ort for transcen%ence through being ra%ically honest, is to hel in%i$i%uals to change, not by trying to change, but by transcen%ing their own min%s. This will change the cultures of the worl%, because cultures are only habitual min%Csets with a lot of emotional attachment. This community alrea%y e)ists an% is growing an% # inten% to %o e$erything in my ower to su ort it until # %ie. # e) ect to hel this alrea%y e)isting community become conscious of itself by consistently training trainers to run 5a%ical HonestyE worksho s an% by con%ucting worksho s myself an% writing books as our community of conscious coC creators grows larger. &e will li$e long an% ros er as the worl% gra%ually turns our way7an% then su%%enly blossoms into a whole new gar%en, which the ne)t generation will thank us for, an% then, ho efully, low un%er to make room for something new we ne$er e$en %reame% about. &e are becoming a mo$ement. &e inten% to be a mo$ement that kee s on mo$ing. &e in$ite you to 'oin us. !ur re$olution starts with the un%erstan%ing of our own min%s, how they were built, an% how they o erate. This is the story of -ally 2ean Henry an% her life u to age nineteen. -he was born in 1>JK an% she grew u in ,le$elan%, !hio, in the /nite% -tates of *merica. Before we tell the story about how her min% was built an% how it use% her, let's talk generally about what a min% is. # am stealing from some of the best thinkers here. # acknowle%ge rimary recent contributions by .. 5on Hubbar%, &erner 8rhar%, an% Tor +orretran%ers. # acknowle%ge the source of this con$ersation in Bu%%hism, Taoism, "oga, @e%antic hiloso hy, an% in &estern hiloso hy in the work of .eibnit?, the e)istentialists, henomenologists, an% erce tual an% cogniti$e theorists in sychology. # am %iscussing the following (uestions4 &hat is a min%6 &hat is a min% for6 How %oes a min% get built6 How %oes it work6 How can you tame one an% kee it from running away with you6 $hat is a Mind! The mo%el of the min% ro$i%e% by .. 5on Hubbar%, with a bow to .iebnit?, ;who s oke of 0mona%s,0 which were little .egoLClike units of store% information< inclu%es this %efinition4 "he mind is a linear arrangement of total multi'sensory recordings of successive moments of now( This is a goo% %efinition of the fun%amental reacti$e min%4 store% recor%s of e$ents that occurre% as we got born an% grew u . The recor%s that make u the min% are multiCsensory recor%ings, not 'ust $i%eota es but recor%ings that inclu%e taste, touch, smell, balance, feeling states, an% thoughts. These recor%ings are not all the same with regar% to how long they last. *
beginning of a recor%e% moment is %emarcate% by noting some significantCtoCyou e$ent that stan%s out at the beginning of a moment, an% lasts until you consi%er it laye% out. These moments are recor%e% an% store% as recor%s in our brains. They are collecte% an% store% in a linear fashion from early in our life to recently in our life, an% they $ary in length from a few secon%s to se$eral hours. 01oments of now0 $ary in length accor%ing to clock time, they are all in a linear arrangement, an% they are total multiCsensory recor%ings in succession. The sum total of these store% recor%ings is the fun%amental reacti$e min%. $hat is a Mind )or! * min% is for sur$i$al. &e ha$e min%s in or%er to sur$i$e. Human beings, biologically, are aCtubeCwithinCaCtube construction. &e ha$e a tube of skin co$ering u many more tubes insi%e us, inclu%ing our $eins an% arteries an% ca illaries, an% our %igesti$e system. 1illennia ago in our e$olution, we became in%e en%ent of the ocean by creating our own ocean insi%e calle% the bloo%stream. &e sur$i$e now by utting water an% foo% in one en% of the tube an% running it through our other tubes. 8$entually, e$erything we ut in comes out again through tubes at the other en%, when we %efecate an% urinate, an% through little tubes that come to the surface of the skin where we sweat. * min% is useful for our sur$i$al if it hel s us be successful at assimilating foo% an% water an% running it through the tubes so that we are sustaine% in being. #f we continue to %o it long enough an% sur$i$e to ubescence, we then ut a male tube insi%e a female tube an% make another tube. &hen we %o this we ha$e fulfille% our mission to sur$i$e an% the mission of our s ecies to sur$i$e. The min% ser$es the sur$i$al of the being if it is of some use in assimilating things to ut in the front en% of the tube, an% fin%ing other tubes to lay with long enough to create more tubes. #t's a tube maintenance rogram. *ll in all, this soun%s easy. But there is one small roblem. &e ha$en't (uite answere% the (uestion 0&hat is a min% for60 * more com lete answer is4 0* min% is for the sur$i$al of the being, or of anything the being considers itself to be.0 This a%%ition to the %efinition of the ur ose of the min% engen%ers a roblem. -u%%enly we are talking about more than tubes here. The roblem is that the tool calle% the mind is what the being %oes its consi%ering with: The min%, in consi%ering the sur$i$al of the being, comes u with the i%ea that it also has to sur$i$e so the being can sur$i$e. The min% knows it has to be maintaine% an% it is in charge of its own maintenance. The min% is its own mechanic. The min% gets to thinking that its own sur$i$al is what it is for: 0Because my sur$i$al as a being %e en%s on me,0 the min% thinks, 0# must reser$e myself at all costs.0 &nd the mind can come to think that its own sur"i"al is more important than the sur"i"al of the being. For e)am le, 2ack Benny, a come%ian note% for his tightness with money, create% on his ra%io show a skit that took lace in ,entral Dark in +ew "ork ,ity. * mugger stuck a gun in 2ack's ribs an% sai%, 0"our money or your life:0 &ith his thumb un%er his chin an% forefinger on his cheek, 2ack
ause% an% %rawle%, 0&elClClCl90 The mugger re eate% himself an% 2ack res on%e% ee$ishly, 0#'m thinking: #'m thinking::0 He was ha$ing a %ifficult time choosing which was more im ortant, his money or his life. 0&hat is worth more,0 his min% won%ere%, 01y money or my life60 For another e)am le, let's say you are si)teen years ol% an% you were born in Bagh%a% an% you want to be a goo% 1oslem an% a goo% citi?en an% a goo% follower of -a%%am Hussein. "ou ut on a uniform to reser$e that i%entity an% go with JK,KKK of your brothers to Buwait, an% the *mericans kill you an% MK,KKK others sharing the same i%entity. "our i%entification with your i%eal has cost you your life. &hen # was eighteen years ol%, many of my contem oraries went to @ietnam, trying to be 0goo% *mericans,0 an% many %ie% trying to maintain that i%entity. 2ust like all the itiful, wellCmeaning young sol%iers throughout history who ha$e %ie% for illCconcei$e% i%eals by the %o?ens, we can let whom we consider oursel$es to be, what our min%s say we are, cost us our life. &hat is more im ortant4 our image or our life6 Two henomenological sychologists name% -chnei%eman an% Farberow wrote a book about suici%e after se$enteen years of research in which they stu%ie% GAK cases of suici%e. *fter stu%ying suici%e notes left behin% an% e)amining all the stories an% inter$iews with frien%s an% families, they foun% a theme that seeme% to a ly in all cases. They conclu%e% that e$ery suici%e can be e) laine% as 0an attem t to maintain or enhance the self.0 The min% is maintaine% at the e) ense of the life of the being. The min% sur$i$es by being right. The min% woul% rather be right an% %ie than be wrong an% li$e. Teenagers i%entify with their selfCimage rather than their being. The internal 'u%ge who makes the assessments about life70#t's too har%,0 0# can't take it anymore,0 #t's not worth it,0 0+ow, this will show them:07 sur$i$es at the cost of life itself. -uici%e rates are highest among teens. The mind is for the sur"i"al of the being or of anything the being considers itself to be. -ometimes it %oesn't reser$e the sur$i$al of the being while it thinks it is ser$ing its function ha$ing to %o with its own sur$i$al. The min% is not a erfect instrument of sur$i$al. The min% misfires. The mind makes mistakes and cannot always be trusted to maintain sur"i"al. The min%'s sur$i$al %e en%s on being right, whereas the bo%y's sur$i$al %e en%s on being fe% an% ke t well an% free from harm. There sometimes a ears to be a conflict between these two goals, an% the min% %eci%es its sur$i$al is the most im ortant. #n 8astern hiloso hy this is calle% the roblem of ego. !nce the min% has %eci%e% that #tself is what must sur$i$e, it belie$es its sur$i$al %e en%s on being right whate$er the cost. * min% sur$i$es by being right an% not wrong an% by getting agreement, not %isagreement, from other min%s. This narcissistic reoccu ation with itself an% its own sur$i$al necessitates the %efense of all its assessments, 'u%gments, %ecisions, stories, ro%ucts, creations, an% so forth. The min%'s rimary 'ob switches from sur$i$al to %efen%ing itself. How Does a Mind *et +uilt! The recor%s of the min% are forme% an% store% continually as each
in%i$i%ual grows ol%er. *ll the recor%s of total multiCsensory recor%ings of successi$e moments of now can be %i$i%e% into three ty es. That is, we can sort all the recor%s of the min% into three grou s. They can be thought of as recor%s store% on three s in%les. #magine three s in%les for three %ifferent kin%s of recor%s of the min%4 - in%les *, B, an% ,. The criteria of selection for storage on one s in%le as o ose% to another are as follows. C #$$ A E"ent$ - in%le * stores recor%s of e$ents in$ol$ing a threat to the person's sur"i"al, pain, and a partial loss of consciousness. These store% recor%s are calle% ,lass * e$ents. For an e)am le of a ,lass * e$ent, let me reintro%uce you to -ally 2ean Henry an% ursue her story starting when she was a young chil%. %ally ,ean Henry- %cene ne. -ally is four years ol% an% is laying with her brother, Tom, who is fi$e an% a half. They are sailing a toy sailboat in a small on% at the laygroun% in a ark near her house. Her mother is there, talking to a neighbor la%y. #t's a sunny %ay an% the win% is blowing through the trees an% -ally is busily engage% ushing her toy sailboat back an% forth across the little on% with her brother. Her %og, 5ags, is there laying with some other %ogs an% chil%ren. -u%%enly, her brother snatches u the boat, says 01y boat:0 an% starts running away with it. -ally knows that the boat is hers an% she starts running after Tom yelling, 01y boat: 1y boat:0 5ags chases both of them. *s they a roach the other si%e of the ark, her brother runs %own three concrete ste s, but 'ust as -ally gets there, 5ags gets tangle% u in her feet an% she falls hea%first from the to of the first ste . -he misses the ste s but lan%s har% on her shoul%er, arm, an% hea% on the concrete si%ewalk at the bottom of the ste s. -he scra es her left arm an% shoul%er an% bum s her hea% as she falls an% the win% is knocke% com letely out of her. The ne)t thing she knows, she is coming out of a fog, rolling o$er, trying to catch her breath. Her mother comes running u an% kneels in front of her. The sunlight reflects off her mother's glasses into her eyes, making her s(uint. Her %og 5ags is licking her face. Tom is saying, a little an)iously, 0-he's not hurtH she's not hurt:0 in the backgroun%. Her arm an% shoul%er hurt an% she feels nauseate%. Her mother icks -ally u an% carries her home, cleans her cuts, uts on battle ribbon Ban%C*i%sL an% gi$es her some 1N1sL. That's the en% of the e$ent. The moment of recor% starte% when her brother grabbe% -ally's boat an% en%e% when her mother ga$e her the 1N1sL. #t is a ,lass * e$ent, in which she e) erience% ain, a artial loss of consciousness, an% a threat to her sur$i$al. -ally makes a total multiCsensory recor% of it at four years of age. The recor% may or may not remain conscious, it may become burie%, it may be artially forgotten, it may be mo%ifie% in conscious memory, but in some com lete form it remains as a total multiCsensory recor%ing of a ,lass * e$ent. &e all ha$e many of these e$ents in our li$es an% therefore we ha$e many recor%s of them. !ne of the first of these recor%e% ,lass * e$ents is our own birth. The trauma of chil%birth
for the baby meets all the criteria of a ,lass * e$ent. Getting born, for most of us, in$ol$es ain, shock, a artial loss of consciousness, an% a threat to our sur$i$al. C #$$ B E"ent$ ,lass B e$ents store% on - in%le B in$ol$e a sudden shocking loss, with strong emotion, usually negati"e, and something in the e"ent related to a pre"ious #lass & e"ent. %ally ,ean Henry- %cene .. -ally is se$en years ol% now. -he's running on a si%ewalk behin% her brother Tom, ne)t to the sta%ium. 5ags is running behin% her. -u%%enly, her brother cuts to the right an% runs across the street. -he follows him. 5ags follows her. There is a screech of brakes an% a thu%. -he looks back. 5ags has been hit by a %um truck. -he runs back. -he ben%s %own to look at 5ags an% touches him. Her han% feels sticky an% she smells bloo%. -he reali?es he is %ea% an% begins to cry. This is a ,lass B e$ent7a su%%en shocking loss, with strong emotion, usually negati$e, associate% with a re$ious ,lass * e$ent. 5ags was running in the ark, got tangle% u in her feet, an% licke% her face in the re$iously store% ,lass * e$ent. His su%%en, shocking loss becomes a ermanent ,lass B recor% in her min%. &e can't grow u without e) eriencing these kin%s of e$ents an% storing them. &e all ha$e a bunch of ,lass B recor%s of loss. C #$$ C E"ent$ ,lass , recor%s are anything at all that occurs in the e) erience of a erson which can be associate% with ,lass * or ,lass B e$ents. *nything in the worl% that is associate% with s in%le * an% B e$ents can be se arately recor%e% an% is calle% a ,lass , e$ent. For -ally, any earlier or later recor%s of trees, sunshine, bree?es, on%s, toy boats, arks, grass, si%ewalks, ste s, eyeglasses, falling, being near the groun%, brothers, %um trucks, %ogs, fur, wet sticky things, 1N1sL, an% so on are all e$ents that can be store% se arately but with their association with * an% B remaining intact. (o by the time we are se"en or eight years old, and ha"e stored a number of #lass & and * e"ents, 121$YT+%N %N T+1 WO$'/ is associated as a threat to our sur"i"al3 The min% is essentially a aranoi% instrument. &e ha$e recor%s in our memory of threats to our sur$i$al, an% of loss, which we are to a$oi% in the future in or%er to sur$i$e, an% they are associate% with e$ery other recor%ing of e$erything we ha$e e) erience%. 8$ery new stimulus from outsi%e oursel$es after about se$en or eight years of age 'ust triggers a whole chain of associations. &e are on guar%, looking out for trauma an% trouble at all times7an% that's what a min% is. #t's like an accountant or a lawyer or some other kin% of %eal killer who is hellCbent on antici ating the ossible recurrence of some trage%y that has ha ene% before, or one $ery much like it, an% trying to a$oi% that ha ening. How Does the Reactive Mind $ork! Here's how the associati$eIreacti$e min% works when we are a%ults. .et's say it's twel$e years later an% that same little girl, -ally, has grown to be nineteen years ol%. -he is a retty young woman an% she is a freshman at George &ashington /ni$ersity in &ashington, D.,.
%ally ,ean Henry- %cene /0 ption 1( -ally goes to a ark on a icnic with her boyfrien% of se$eral weeks, Gary. #t's a sunny %ay an% the win% is gently blowing through the trees. They'$e ha% some wine an% cheese an% a few bites of foo%H -ally leans back against a tree an% Gary comes o$er to sit besi%e her. *s he leans o$er to sit %own besi%e her, he s(uee?es her knee. 0!uch,0 she says. He re lies, 0"ou're not hurtH you're not hurt,0 an% some $ague %iscomfort comes o$er her. Then, 'ust as he ben%s o$er to kiss her, the sunlight glints off his glasses right in her eyes an% she s(uints. He kisses her an% she kisses him back, but she feels nauseate% an% mil%ly an)ious an% slightly uncomfortable. *fter the icnic they go home se arately. &hen he hones, she %oesn't return the call. -he ne$er goes out with him again. #f you ask her why she (uit %ating Gary, -ally has all kin%s of rational e) lanations4 he's not her ty e, he %oesn't ha$e a goo% sense of humor, she is 'ust a freshman an% wants to 0 lay the fiel%0 an% %oesn't want to be tie% %own right now, an% so on. These rational e) lanations, howe$er, ha$e nothing to %o with why she %ro e% Gary. -he %ro e% him because her associati$e min% i%entifie% him with her artially forgotten ,lass * e$ent from when she was four years ol%. His saying 0"ou're not hurtH you're not hurt,0 an% the tone of $oice in which he sai% it, combine% with the glare of the sun off his glasses making her s(uint 'ust when he kisse% her brought back the ain an% nausea an% the threat to her sur$i$al she e) erience% when she fell an% hurt herself. Her ,lass * recor% was reacti$ate% in association with Gary, an% she a$oi%e% him thereafter. %ally ,ean Henry- %cene /0 ption .( .et's say the same e$ents occur on the icnic with a slightly %ifferent outcome from the same associati$e chain. -ally leans back against the treeH Gary comes to sit ne)t to her an% s(uee?es her knee. -he says, 0!uch:0 He says, 0"ou're not hurtH you're not hurt,0 an% as he leans %own to kiss her the sunlight glints off his glasses, but this time when he kisses her, instea% of nausea, she feels an insane urge for him to lick her face: *s he ulls back, he %oes, at the en% of a French kiss, acci%entally, 'ust barely, lick the $ery e%ge of her li . -he marries him: #f you ask -ally why she marrie% Gary, she will ha$e all kin%s of $ali% reasons for marrying him4 his family is wealthy, he's going to go to me%ical school, they are the same religion, an% so on. But her associati$e min% chose him rior to all those reasonable rationali?ations. -he marrie% Gary to bring her %og 5ags back to life. ;* lot of us marrie% our %ogs, at least the first time aroun%.< The I u$ion o! Contro The rational, thinking, reflecti$e min% thinks it is in control, but it isn't. *s writer *nnie Dillar% says, 0&e are most %ee ly aslee at the switch when we fancy we control any switches at all.0 !ur rational %ecisions really aren't %ecisions at all, but rationali?ations to 'ustify the choices alrea%y ma%e by associations of the reacti$e min%. The reacti$e min% works accor%ing to associations7links between recor%s forme% in re$iously e) erience% e$ents. ,ontrol is an illusion ro$i%e% by the (uick thinking ;but not (uite (uick enough to actually be in control< reflecti$e min%. The reflecti$e min% 'ust tags along closely behin% the reaction an% generates e) lanations to maintain the illusion of control.
The Re! ecti"e ,ind !n to of the reacti$e min%, the reflecti$e min% is forme%. That is, we ha$e recor%s of yet another kin% store% in our min%s. These recor%s are ma%e base% on com arisons of re licate% e) eriences. #n George *. Belly's The ,sychology of ,ersonal #onstructs, $olumes # an% ##, is a more thorough e) lanation of the %e$elo ment of what we are here calling the reflecti$e min%. Basically, from $ery early on in life, we begin to form thoughts by com arisons base% on re licate% e$ents. The minimal re(uirements for a thought to e)ist are three4 a similarity between two things, something that is %ifferent, an% an o$erri%ing construct of relate%ness. #f * an% B are males an% , is a female, they are relate% by an allCencom assing construct we call 0gen%er.0 #n linear time, e$ents that are re eate% an% remembere% as similar get com are% to a contrasting e$ent along a common %imension of relate%ness. ,once ts are forme% from these minimalist re(uirements starting from $ery early in life. The reflecti$e min% is an interlocking hierarchy of subsets of these trinitarian conce ts. *n e)am le of formation of an initial i%ea may be as follows. The baby has re eate% e) eriences of being nurse%. The baby has re eate% e) eriences of being hungry an% crying. The baby buil%s a little memory of fee%ing e$ents an% com ares them to a nonCfee%ing e$ent. The o$erall relate%ness may be 'ust 0e$ents.0 Then a little conce t emerges base% on %istinguishing fee%ing an% nonCfee%ing e$ents from the ocean of e) erience. #n a short while, the baby feels hungry, cries, gets fe%, an% confirms her little hy othesis. *s she matures, she %istinguishes in the same way the breast, then mother, then her crib, then %a%%y, then her room, an% so on. &ith a kin% of secon% or%er of association, using re licate% e$ents, the min% we call the reflecti$e min% is born. -it with this for a minute. #'m not asking you to belie$e this instea% of whate$er you belie$e. 2ust try it on for si?eH use it as a tem orary mo%elH imagine it to be true 'ust for the time being. #f this is consi%ere% to be true, e$en tem orarily, it is kin% of %isorienting. &e fool oursel$es into belie$ing that we are in charge of our li$es through ha$ing conce ts about life. But the conce ts about life are not what our 0%ecisions0 are base% on. !ur 0choices0 are reactions. !ur thought rocesses are merely rationali?ations of reactions of a aranoi% reacti$e min%. #f you think you know why you got marrie% or why you %i%n't, or why you got %i$orce% or why you %i%n't, or icke% a certain ath in life or %i%n't, or got remarrie% or %i%n't, or ha% chil%ren or %i%n't, or mo$e% to another location or %i%n't, an% so on, you are seriously %elu%e%. "our belief that you are in control is a com lete illusion. #f we make this mo%el of the min% tem orarily true 'ust for an e) eriment in this moment, se$eral things that follow from it are (uite ob$ious. 1.*ll the beliefs you ha$e %efen%e% were merely for the sake of ro$i%ing you an illusion of control. 8$ery thought about what was right or why you were %oing or ha% %one anything were 'ust afterCtheCfact rationali?ations for choices you ha% alrea%y ma%e by reaction. *ll the reasons you ha$e come u with for anything are sus ect. *ll of what you might call 0$alues0 of yours are
fun%amentally rationali?ations for beha$ior you were not in control of. F. *ll the theories you ha$e e) oun%e% e) laining your moti$ation for %oing thus an% such are a waste of time. G.The truth is you're not in control at all, an% all your attem ts to e) lain in or%er to fool other eo le only show who was really foole% all along. "ou: The only thing one can %o to be in control in any way, sha e, or form is to stick with merely %escribing what ha ene%. For any e$ent in the worl% that any human being artici ates in, there are always at least three le$els from which to re ort the e$ent, one le$el of %escri tion alone an% two le$els of abstraction from e) erience. There is what occurre%, the story ma%e about what occurre%, an% the meaning ma%e out of the story about what occurre%. The most abstract le$el, the meaning ma%e out of the story that occurre%, is the sales itch that most of us are calling reality. &hat most of us call reality is 'ust a story about reality or a story we ha$e about the story. R#tion# i?in) the Choice$ o! the Re#cti"e ,ind &e kee reacting to e$ents from our ast that are triggere% by what ha ens to us in current relationshi s to eo le. !ur s ouse hits a certain note in their tone of $oice or says something a scol%ing arent sai% in a ,lass * or B e$ent an% an argument ensues about something in current time. 4ost arguments between partners in a couple are reiterations of records of feelings and e"ents from the past triggered by each other. &e start to make e) lanations to reten% we were in control at an early age. &hen my son, *mos, was about four years ol% he e) laine% to me in great %etail how his Big &heels were faster than the other ki%s' Big &heels because they were more 0shar .0 8) lanations become im ortant as roof of being oriente% an% in charge at about that age. *ny e) lanation will %o. -ometimes these e) lanations themsel$es become art of what is store% as a recor%. #n our articular culture, because of the surroun%ing 2u%eoC,hristian shame an% blame conte)t, we become more so histicate% in learning how to blame oursel$es for anything ba% that ha ene% to us ;from about three or four years of age forwar%<. &hene$er we make mistakes, articularly, we make little resol$es in our %e$elo ing linear reflecti$e min%s, intense resol$es to a$oi% re lication of certain e) eriences. &e make these intense resol$es many times between ages two an% si)teen years an% we hol% on to them tightly as gui%elines for life for the ensuing years. &e sai% to oursel$es, (uietly within our own min%s, 0# will ne$er, e$er, e$er, let this mistake ha en again.0 #n my own life, when # was about ten years ol%, # e) erience% the following intense e$ent4 1y younger brother ;nine years ol%<, my little brother ;one year ol%<, an% # were in the back of the car. #n the front seat my mother an% ste father, who both ha% been %rinking, were in a lou% shouting argument. &e ki%s were all scare%. # ke t saying to myself an% my brothers, articularly to the baby who was crying at the to of his lungs, 0&e'll be home in a few minutes9. &e'll be home in a few minutes.0 &hen we got within a mile of home # sai% to myself, (uietly within my own
min%, 0!kay, we're here. #t's 'ust o$er this hill. &e're home.0 But 'ust then, my ste father hit my mother in the face, slamme% on the brakes, an% began beating her more. #t was a twoC%oor se%an an% we were tra e% in the back an% the car was sli%ing si%eways on the gra$el roa%. -he was screaming an% hitting back. Bloo% s lattere% on us. &e were tra e% in the back seat. &hen the car finally came to a sli%ing halt, # hel% the baby tightly in one arm in a total anic while # hit the back of my mother's seat with my bo%y as har% as # coul%, ushing her forwar% into the win%shiel%. Then allCinConeCmotion # grabbe% the %oor han%le, ushe% the %oor o en, an% 'um e% out of the car with the baby in my arms an% my other brother right behin% me. &e began running u the roa%. *s # ran, carrying the baby an% crying, # sai% to myself4 5&lways remember3 You're ne"er there until you are there3 You are ne"er home until you are home3 Nothing is o"er until it is o"er3 /on't e"er make the mistake of thinking you are there until you are there35 This resol$e, to be continually on guar% an% not take anything for grante%, to be wary on behalf of my brothers an% rotect them by not making false assum tions, became a theme in my life. #t was a resol$e based not only on that e!perience but on pre"ious e!periences triggered by that one an% it ha% the emotional force of a lesson base% on re$ious trauma. # reser$e% an illusion of control by blaming myself for being caught off guar% an% not %oing a goo% enough 'ob of caretaking, an% by swearing # woul% ne$er %o such a careless thing again. !ut of this, caretaking became my metho% of reser$ing an illusion of control. -uch resol$es only further %elu%e us into thinking we are in control ;because we 0shoul%0 ha$e been in control an% we weren't<, so the ne)t time we will be. The ne)t time, we say to oursel$es, we will be in control like we shoul% ha$e been then. Is Actual #ontrol ver ur Life Really Possible! 8$en when we are not sim ly reacting unconsciously an% rationali?ing the reaction, our artially conscious memory of our linear min%'s early resol$es to reser$e an illusion of control seems to be what we usually call 0thinking.0 *s it turns out, 0making u our min%0 may be more like 0making u 0 any other story. #t a ears to be 'ust an e)ercise of imagination. &hat we are %oing, then, is re$iewing the lessons of ol% that were themsel$es an illusory attem t at an earlier time to reser$e an illusion of control. #sn't that 'ust athetic6 *ren't we 'ust unbelie$able itiful fools6 #s it ossible to kee our own reacti$e min% from %etermining our life base% on $ery ol% %ata6 #s it ossible to actually ha$e any real control o$er our li$es when we ha$e such a $este% interest in reser$ing an illusion of control base% on what we imagine other eo le think we shoul% think an% on chil%hoo% resol$es6 Before we attem t to answer those (uestions, let's a%% in one more i%ea. The Bein) Bene#th the ,ind "ou are now looking at ink on a age or i)els on a screen. The light reflects off the age an% goes to your eye, through the lens to the back of the eyeball, an% there, a certain chemical reaction is triggere%. This
reaction throws off an electron that causes another chemical reaction that throws off an electron that causes another chemical reaction an% there is an electrochemical transmission u the o tic ner$e to the $isual corte). There, in the $isual corte), a chemical reaction occurs, an% you see the wor%s, imme%iately inter reting both what you see an% what it means. The lace where you are creating seeing the wor%s is in your brain. "ou e) erience the wor%s on the age, outsi%e of your brain. "ou are creating the erce tion of the wor%s on this age in your brain an% e) eriencing them as outsi%e of you. "ou create the whole worl% in your brain by a chemical reaction, but where you consi%er the worl% to be is outsi%e of you. "ou %o this electrochemical act of creating many, many, many times er secon%. 2ust like a mo$ie ro'ector ro$i%es an illusion of real action by ra i%ly %is laying slightly changing images, you kee e$erything out there looking constant. "ou are creating the room you're in or whate$er surroun%ing you ha$e aroun% you, all the other eo le in your life, an% e$erything in $iew of you at all times. "ou %o the same thing with soun%. #f someone makes noises with their $oice bo) near you, the $ibrations reach the hammer, an$il, an% %rum in your ear, a chemical reaction occurs causing an electrical transmission to your brain, an% you hear the soun%. "ou integrate the sight an% soun% an% other sense %ata in your cor us collosum, an% you also make meaning out of the wor%s being s oken or rea% robably using your frontal lobes. This is all com letely effortless. #t re(uires no strain or effort or trying on your art. #t ha ens automatically sim ly because you e)ist as the erce tual organi?ing machine you are. This creation by erce tion is the most magnificent thing you will e$er %o, yet you gi$e yourself no s ecial cre%it for it because it %oesn't count, because e$eryone else %oes that too, so it %oesn't make you s ecial in any com arati$e way. #t is not im ortant to who you usually think you are, yet it is ongoingly, millisecon% by millisecon%, the most magnificent thing you will e$er %o in your life. +othing you e$er achie$e with your min% or your life will come close to matching the miracle of creation of the worl% by your in$oluntary ner$ous system, effortlessly, 'ust by being here, right now. &e all know that %oesn't really count. &hat counts7we all know, %on't we67is all that hy e we ha$e been taught, that has to %o with our erformance an% our ro%ucts an% our a earance of being in control. &ho you really are, howe$er, is the creator of the worl%. # think whene$er one of us creators %ies, the worl% comes to an en%. # think that who you are is the creator of the worl% an% who # am is the creator of the worl%. # think when # %ie the worl% will come to an en%. # think when you %ie the worl% will come to an en%. *n% for all ractical ur oses that a ears to be true. "ou %ie. The worl% en%s. -o # want you to consi%er these two i%eas at once now. "ou are the creator of the worl% an% you ha$e no control. "ou are out of control. ,ontrol is urely an illusion of your reflecti$e min%, to rotect you from %iscerning that you are hel lessly at the beck an% call of your reacti$e min% an% of circumstances beyon% your control. "et, at the same time, as
a being, you are the creator of the worl%. *n% when you %ie, for all ractical ur oses, the worl% comes to an en%. 2ust consi%er both of those things true at the same time. You are the creator of the world and you are not in control. "ou are out of control. *ll control is an illusion, yet you are the creator of the worl%. Wh#t i$ the Die- o! the I u$ion o! Contro !ro' the We$t/ There is a story tol% about all the Greek go%s sitting aroun% on 1ount !lym us. They were allCknowing an% allCseeing. They knew all the ast an% all the future. -o, $ery soon, they became bore%. To entertain themsel$es an% ass the time, they starte% in$enting an% laying games. !ne of their fa$orite games soon became one calle%, 0.et's reten% that what is not here is more im ortant than what is here.0 This game, reten%ing that what is not here is more im ortant that what is here, became the common obsession, an% after they laye% an% laye%, after (uite a while of laying the game, they forgot it was a game. They forgot it was a game for a long time, in fact until right now. #t's my 'ob now to remin% you. -o, # am remin%ing you, Go%, it's 'ust a game. You are the creator of the world. You play a game that something that is not here is more important than what is here. %t's 6ust a game. # am s eaking to you %irectly now. The i%ea that something that is not here is more im ortant than what is here is 'ust a game. #t is 'ust reten%ing. #t is 'ust a retense. #t was 'ust something you got in your min% from your u bringing that ma%e you forget that you were Go%, an% it ma%e a mo%ification of how you li$e%. &e human beings, because we ha$e min%s, forget that laying towar% the future is 'ust a game an% that our fun%amental i%entity as creators in the moment, in the flow of creation, is reality. &e are creators without any real control. Wh#t i$ the Die- o! the I u$ion o! Contro !ro' the E#$t/ &e are not talking about something new in history, 'ust something relati$ely new in western history. "oga, which means yoke or union7that which connects together intellect an% s irit, or being an% min%7is rimarily concerne% with e)actly the to ic we are now consi%ering. #n the millenniaCol% hiloso hy an% ractice of yoga, as summari?e% in the Yoga (utras of Datan'ali, countering the min%'s %istortions is gi$en the highest riority. #n -anskrit, there is a form of embo%ying all there is to be known about any area of stu%y into one hun%re% sutras, or $erses. These are short hrases, limite% to about a twoCline statement, organi?e% in a s ecific form. The structure of one hun%re% twoCline statements rece%es the content. The first sutra says what the set of one hun%re% sutras is about. For e)am le, if we were to ut the whole bo%y of knowle%ge we call hysics into one hun%re% statements, the first statement woul% be, 0These are the sutras of hysics.0 Then we woul% ha$e ninetyCnine statements left to co$er all of hysics. The secon% sutra is %esignate%, tra%itionally, as the most com rehensi$e o$er$iew of the whole bo%y of work an% all the ractices of the area un%er consi%eration. #n our e)am le, we woul% be e) ecte%, in the secon% sutra, to say in one statement what all of hysics is about.
*fter "oga ha% been aroun% for F,AKK years, Datan'ali wrote the Yoga (utras. By the time he wrote them, many %ifferent metho%s for the ractice of yoga ha% been %e$elo e% while the teachings of yoga s rea% o$er most of the continents in the worl%. These metho%s inclu%e Barma "oga, Bakti "oga, Tantric "oga, Bun%alini "oga, Hatha "oga, an% so on. These yogas of ser$ice, lo$e, se), work, hysical health, an% the hiloso hy of yoga ha% all un%ergone literally thousan%s of years of %e$elo ment through many languages in $arious geogra hical locations in the worl%. There ha% been thousan%s of teachers of "oga, hun%re%s of sects, an% hun%re%s of ractices. Thus, the secon% sutra ha% to encom ass the unitary theme that ma%e sense of all these %e$elo ments. The secon% sutra of the Yoga (utras, the one that most com rehensi$ely co$ers its sub'ect, is4 0The ob'ecti$e of all yoga is to bring about an inhibition of the modifications of the mind.0 +otice that Datan'ali says that the ob'ecti$e of all yoga is 'ust to inhibit the mo%ifications of the min%. He %oesn't say it is to %estroy them, or %o battle with them, or obliterate them, or o$ercome them7'ust inhibit them. 2ust hol% them back a secon% or two. 2ust %ecrease or %elay the effects of the little suckers a millisecon% or two. How %o you %o that6 &ith yoga. &hat kin% of yoga6 *ny kin%. &hate$er works: ,reating art or music, lo$ing, erforming hysical e)ercise an% stretching, being resent with a chil%, me%itating, lo$emaking, working7 anything you can atten% to for a sustaine% number of secon%s or minutes without the mo%ifications of the min%: The mo%ifications of the min% are all those recor%s, memories, rinci les, conclusions, morals, an% beliefs we ha$e store% from the ast. &hen we inhibit the mo%ifications, as the yogis instruct us to, we %isco$er what is here in the worl% of resent tense reality, other than the min%. Wh#t i$ the Current Cu tur# #nd Scienti!ic S%nthe$i$ -ith Re)#rd to Bein) #nd ,ind/ Telling the truth is the articular yogic ractice necessary in our time to inhibit the mo%ifications of the min%. &e are all engage% in a gigantic e) eriment to %isco$er an% in$ent what a human being is. &e nee% each others' %ata. !ur only ho e to kee from being interru te% to %eath by our own min%s is by using one mind to inhibit the modifications of the other. 0The ob'ecti$e of all yoga is to bring about the inhibition of the mo%ifications of the min%.0 The min% inclu%es the reacti$e min% that is base% on store% memories of ,lass *, B, an% , e$ents an% the reflecti$e ;logical or linear< min% that comes u with the e) lanations. The reacti$e min% is 'ust an acci%ental ran%om chain of associations of store% memories. The reflecti$e min% is the rationali?er who makes u goo% reasons to 'ustify the associations of the reacti$e min% an% makes u these reasons to be consistent with resol$es ma%e by a chil%. These min%s are the smoke an% mirrors that kee us from atten%ing to the reality of being. *uthentic s iritual ractices are for the sake of e) eriencing reality %irectly. -o, if we assume that the reacti$e min% truly %etermines how we li$e an% what we %o an% what attitu%e we ha$e about it, an% the reflecti$e min%
reser$es the illusion of control through e) lanation an% inter retation, an% that the fun%amental i%entity of oursel$es as human beings is the being art that creates the worl%, is it ossible for a erson to be consciously in control of his or her life6 W#it+ It 3et$ Wor$e Tor +orretran%ers, author of the recent book, The -ser %llusion) #utting #onsciousness /own to (i7e, says, among other things, that, 0#n recent years, scientific in$estigations into the henomenon of consciousness ha$e %emonstrate% that eo le e) erience far more than their consciousness ercei$esH that they interact far more with the worl% an% with each other than their consciousness thinks they %oH that the control of actions that consciousness feels it e)ercises is an illusion. 9 ,onsciousness lays a far smaller role in human life than &estern culture has ten%e% to belie$e.0 George 2ohnson, in re$iewing +orretran%ers' book in The Washington ,ost, summari?e% some of his main oints about consciousness in this way4 01ost re$ealing of all are famous an% contro$ersial e) eriments by Ben'amin .ibet an% other sychologists. -ub'ects wire% with measuring electro%es are aske% to mo$e a finger. * half a secon% before the %ecision is ma%e to fle) the muscle, an electrical signal is %etecte% in the brain. *stonishingly, the '%ecision' seems to be ma%e by unconscious neurons before the self becomes aware of its %esire to act. 0,onsciousness ortrays itself as the initiator, but it is not,0 +orretran%ers writes. 0,onsciousness is a frau%.0 +orretran%ers com ares consciousness to a conce t in$ente% by the com uter scientist *lan Bay4 0the user illusion.0 0-itting at the com uter, ;controlling a mouse<, %ragging %ocuments into fol%ers or into the trash can, the o erator is un%er a machineCin%uce% hallucination. #nsi%e the com uter chi s there are no %ocuments, fol%ers, trash cans, wor%s or letters7'ust $oltages an% charges re resenting the ones an% ?eros of binary co%e. #nstea% of o$erwhelming the user with a floo% of useless information, the com uter ro'ects a sim le array of meta hors4 icons that can be mani ulate% to get things %one. #n a similar way, the brain, throwing away unnee%e% %ata, generates its own user illusion4 the inter retation calle% consciousness. #n the consciousness section, in a cha ter entitle% 0The Half -econ% Delay,0 +orretran%ers conclu%es that, 0,onsciousness cannot initiate any action, but it can %eci%e that it shoul% not be carrie% out. ...,onsciousness is not a su erior unit that %irects messages %own to its subor%inates in the brain. ,onsciousness is the instance of selection that icks an% chooses among the many o tions nonconsciousness offers u . ,onsciousness works by throwing suggestions out, by %iscar%ing %ecisions ro ose% by nonconsciousness. 9The notion of consciousness as a $eto is a $ery beautiful, $ery rich one. #ts kinshi with Darwinism an% natural selection is not its only arallel
in the history of thought.0 This $iew of consciousness as $eto ower o$er the o tions of all that is nonconscious becomes e$en more interesting when com are% to the secon% sutra of Datan'ali's Yoga (utras4 0The ob'ecti$e of all yoga is to bring about an inhibition of the mo%ifications of the min%.0 The ob'ecti$e of yoga is to inhibit the rimary function of consciousness7its $eto ower: &hat is left when thinking is inhibite%6 &hat is there to notice6 #s there noticing without consciousness6 ,learly there is, at least, noticing without thought. &e sometimes call this 0being conscious of9,0 but e$en that, e$en noticing, is a halfCsecon% behin%: &hen, in the mo$ie 0.ittle Big 1an,0 the main character laye% by Dustin Hoffman is being taught by his sister to be a gunslinger, she says, 0Draw an% shoot before your han% touches the istol.0 #t is ossible that we can act before we register acting. &ho is it then, who acts6 There are lenty of eo le who testify to this. 2oe 1ontana says, 0&hen # go out on that football fiel%, # am not conscious.0 He means he is not selfCconscious, not thinking, not aware of himself. He is not thinking an% %eci%ing what to %o with the ball. He is acting without thinking. Tim Gallwey, the great tennis coach an% author of The %nner ame of Tennis ;an% olf, an% 4usic, an% *usiness<, says that we all ha$e two sel$es, self one an% self two. -elf one is the one who knows e$erything there is to know about laying tennis. -elf two is the one that can lay tennis if it can get self one out of the way. #n my book, $adical +onesty, # re eate%ly contrast 0being0 an% 0min%.0 # suggest that, o$er time, when we become more i%entifie% with being than min%, we regress to being in touch with the source of our e) erience, our bo%ies, in the moment, rather than the a%olescentIa%ult i%entity of the min% that tells stories about e) erience an% e) lains how it was in charge. !ur min%s %o not initiate anything. They associate an% rationali?e an% maintain the 0user illusion0 that the min% is in charge an% initiating action in the worl%. Ouite the contrary, the min% is always behin%. *s 1arilyn Ferguson sai%, 0The min% is like a re orter at a funeral.0 #t runs aroun% asking (uestions like 0&ho %ie%6 *re you mourning6 &here is the gra$e6 How long %i% you know this erson6 How long ha$e they been %ea%6 How long %i% they li$e6 &hen will this funeral be o$er60 The min% is obtuse, behin%, frenetic, insensiti$e to feeling, blocking resence to life. #t asks (uestions %es erately to fin% out what is going on, while blocking the noticing of what is going on. *s # ha$e sai% before, a min% is a terrible thing. &aste it: !r at least 'ust inhibit it for a few secon%s: "ou create the worl% by ercei$ing it an% your erce tions are more reliable than your conce tions. But e$en that is not sim le7it's an inter rete% erce tion, base% on ast e) eriences of %istinctions in erce tion that you use automatically but are not conscious of ha$ing learne%. Those erce tions themsel$es are at least a halfCsecon% behin% in registering what occurre% from the im ingement of the ban%wi%ths of im act on the senses from the worl%, most of which we are ne$er consciously aware of. This is when you are functioning at your best, before you begin thinking. #f you think, you are inter reting inter retations
7re resenting re resentations7that will ut you further away in time from your e) erience an% further away from the %ata of the least re resentational form of your e) erience. Dut sim ly, we are always %ealing with secon%Chan% information an%, usually, it is use% secon%Chan% information. If All "his is "rue0 How #an $e Live! &hat are the im lications of this6 &hat are the minimal inferences one can make from this mo%el of the brainImin%6 #f this is true, what shoul% one %o6 &ell, first of all, a few imme%iate things are clear. 1.Gi$e u the illusion of control. "our consciousness, or what you usually call your self, is not in control. "our sense of agency in the matter of being sure that you are reasonably in charge is all nonsense. Forget it. F.Bnow that you are alrea%y sufficiently taken care of by your in$oluntary ner$ous system, which kee s you ali$e without ha$ing to think about it. Dercei$ing is su erior to inter reting, though no ercei$ing occurs without some %egree of inter retation. The least degree of interpretation is the most reliable. +oticing is a better mo%e of orientation than thinking, e$en though you can't kee from thinking. G.Tell the truth about what you think an% how you are inter reting things, but %o not $alue it as reality. *lso, %on't see your inter reter as your whole i%entity, an% %on't imagine that what you think is $ery im ortant. #t's all stuff you are making u . * lifetime s ent rotecting your 0story0 is not a goo% lifetime. Besi%es, the rest of us nee% your %ata. *n intentionally wellCwaste% life is somehow less tragic than an unconsciously waste% life. 4.#%entify with your being. Be aware of being a momentCbyCmoment creator of the worl%. -urren%er your life to your in$oluntary ner$ous system. De$elo skill in noticing e$erything you can about what is going on within you an% without you. A.Focus on becoming 0organismically selfCregulating.0 That is, li$e by aying a lot of attention to imme%iate hysical nee%s as a way of orienting yourself in the worl%. #f you are thirsty, %rink. #f you are hungry, eat. #f you are tire%, rest. M.Dractice noticing. +otice e$en your min%. +otice thinking. +otice sensations in your bo%y. +otice the outsi%e worl%. +otice noticing. P.#f you are a being with a min% ;# am, therefore # think< rather than a min% with a being ;# think, therefore # am< as your culture has taught you all your life, a whole new worl% of ossibility o ens u . J."ou coul% ossibly become a conscious creator of your life by using your reacti$e an% reflecti$e min%s instea% of being use% by them. "ou coul% %ream u a future base% on what you remember really liking in your life, make a lan about how to get there, follow the lan to create what you en$ision, an% use u your min% an% bo%y consciously on the tri from here to the tomb. # highly recommen% all eight of these o tions. But how on earth can you li$e like this6 The best way to start is to constantly %o things that hel you to i%entify with the being you are, who notices, rather than the min% you are, who thinks. Then ut your min% to work in ser$ice to your being. #t hel s greatly to begin the ractices that hel you to notice being here. These
ractices inclu%e but are not limite% to4 me%itation, yoga, honesty with others, an% sharing your e) eriences an% your lans with others. #nstea% of kee ing your min% in the foregroun% in charge of your being, switch figure an% groun%, an% ut your being in charge of your min%. The %etails about how you %o that are the focus of the rest of this book. 23istential An3iety This lace is scary to actually li$e from7this not being in control. Tibetan Bu%%hists ha$e been talking about it an% working with the fear that is triggere% from the knowle%ge of not being in control for a long time. #n an inter$iew in the (hambala (un in 1arch of 1>>P re rinte% in the -tne $eader in 2une the same year, a Bu%%hist teacher name% Dema ,hQ%rQn sai%, 0&e ha$e so much fear of not being in control, of not being able to hol% on to things. "et the true nature of things is that you are ne$er in control. "ou're ne$er in control. "ou can ne$er hol% on to anything. That's the nature of how things are. But it's almost like it's in the genes, art of being born human, that you can't acce t that. "ou can buy it intellectually, but moment to moment it brings u a lot of anic an% fear. -o my own ath has been training to rela) with groun%lessness an% the anic that accom anies it. Training to allow all of that to be there, training to %ie continually. To stay in the s ace of uncertainty without trying to reconstruct a reference oint.0 # belie$e Dema ,hQ%rQn unflinchingly faces the truth of her e) erience an% re orts honestly how it is for her. This makes her a great teacher, because we are mo$e% to emulate her courage. &e can take what comfort there is from sharing in the %es air of attem ting to control our life with our min%. From that s ace of uncertainty, when it is not something to be a$oi%e%, but in fact (uite rich, you can begin to lay. Go ahea% an% rea% the summary of this cha ter an% then start laying with the e)ercises at the en%. %ummary Because of the way the min% is ma%e u of selecte% recor%ings of unconsciously selecte% re$ious e) eriences, an% a rationali?ing internali?e% 'u%ge who thinks she is in charge, we all ha$e illusions about ha$ing control of the worl% an% our li$es. &e use metho%s of sur$i$al base% on association with early chil%hoo% e$ents an% we rationali?e actions base% on these associations with theories that we ma%e u as chil%ren. &e are only occasionally conscious of these chil%hoo%Cforme% sets of associations, assum tions, an% beliefs. &e $aguely feel that because chil%hoo% beliefs worke% when we were younger, they shoul% work now an% we kee trying them o$er an% o$er an% ignoring any new e$i%ence about their usefulness in current time. These associations, assum tions, an% beliefs, which are cham ione% to maintain an illusion of control, limit our a%ult li$es. By o$ercoming our culture's blin% faith in the min%, an% a%o ting a transcen%ent an% nonC%efensi$e ers ecti$e, we can see how these ol%
beliefs affect what we think, feel, an% %o. !nce we ha$e ers ecti$e from which to $iew these limiting beliefs, we can sto wasting effort on hi%ing our true sel$es, struggling to sur$i$e, an% can start li$ing freer li$es base% on noticing before thinking. .uckily, the same illusionCmaking ca acity of the human min% can be harnesse% intentionally to create a $ision of a future life an% bring it into being. E@erci$e How %o you get in your own way6 The first ste to %isco$ering an% in$enting an answer to this (uestion is to acknowle%ge how you D! get in your way. How %o you block yourself or interfere with yourself6 How %o you shoot yourself in the foot before the race is o$er6 How %o you talk to yourself, coach yourself, warn yourself, worry yourself from within your own min%6 Think about your fa$orite way or ways of limiting yourself or sto ing yourself. &rite them %own. Do this now. &hat are your fa$orite 0limiting beliefs60 From what automatic reactions of carefulness %i% you formulate those beliefs to 'ustify lacing those limits on yourself6 ;For e)am le, you might belie$e that if you are goo%, life will treat you right, an% if life is not working out, it's because you were ba%, conclu%ing that you shoul% re%ouble your efforts to be goo%. How ol% were you when you starte% %oing that 0careful to be goo%0 racket6< &hat are your main metho%s of maintaining your illusion of control6 Do any of them in$ol$e selfCblame an% intense resol$e as though you shoul% be hel% accountable for being in control of your life6 &rite those %own. -a$e what you write because you will nee% it for e)ercises in the workbook section of this book. Think about this. &ork at this. *fter you rea% the ne)t cha ter, you will be sent back to re$ise an% e%it your initial %raft. 0+ D%$!unction# F#'i % Uni"er$it%1 The Wor d2F#'ou$ Schoo Within Which We 3re- Our ,ind$ 58all e!perience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while e"ils are sufferable, than to right themsel"es by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.5 CCThe Declaration of #n%e en%ence of the /nite% -tates of *merica &e ha$e lost touch with our sim le, instinctual, common sense function of noticing what is nee%e% to take care of oursel$es an% our own, an% then sim ly %oing what we'$e notice% is nee%e%. #n our culture, we lea% with our min%s rather than with our noticing7a %istortion of the ha iness we were born with. "he Dangers of +elief *ll the ma'or scientific %isco$eries of the twentieth century ha$e been base% on shifts in ers ecti$e. 8instein in$ente% the theory of relati$ity, trie% it out in s ace an% with subatomic articles, an% it worke%. He looke% at the worl% %ifferently than ha% +ewton, whose mo%el also works. #f you want to buil% a %og house, use +ewton's theory. #f you want to buil% a bomb, use 8instein's ;but use +ewton's again to actually buil% it<. &e ha$e %isco$ere% that perspecti"e is a matter of in$ention an% that %ifferent ers ecti$es yiel% %ifferent information, an% that all the information is to be 'u%ge% with regar% to its usefulness rather that
whether it is 0right0 or 0wrong.0 #n hysics, sychology, linguistics, economics, sociology, theology, hiloso hy7the list goes on7all the a%$ances are in the %irection of the relati$ity of mo%els. 1o%els of all kin%s are subsume% un%er what # call the Bleene)L mo%elH you use one an% throw it away. &hen the full im lications of this are finally integrate% into religion, e%ucation, family life, go$ernment, organi?ational %e$elo ment, grou sychothera y, an% in%i$i%ual sychothera y, the worl% will be (uite a %ifferent kin% of laceH an% $ery su%%enly. *ll beliefs are relati$e. *ll mo%els are 'ust functional or %ysfunctional towar% certain en%s. *ll mo%els are %ysfunctional when we attem t to use them where they %on't ser$e. +othing is sacre% e)ce t that nothing is sacre%. *ll shoul%s are relati$e. *ll obligations, min%sets, i%eas, an% go%s are mere structures of belief for certain en%s. *ll ersonal life stories are 'ust stories. *ll conce ts are fictional. *ll constructs are imaginary. +othing is absolute. Dossibility is not %etermine% by belief. The greatest intellectual a%$ance of the twentieth century is that, through the integration of 8astern an% &estern thought, the growth of science, an% the ability to make com arisons of religions an% cultures, it is now ossible to (uestion all belief. The transcen%ence of moralism ;the main sickness of our time<, allows us to gain %etachment enough to see cultural moral $alues as merely beliefs. The use an% abuse of belief is the fun%amental issue for the twentyCfirst century. "he Integration of 4nowing and +elieving &estern hiloso hy reflects a faith in thinking, while 8astern hiloso hy reflects a faith in noticing. The human grou s of the worl% ha$e slowly begun to learn from each other that thinking an% noticing are both im ortant. &e ha$e also learne%, howe$er, that thinking often blocks noticing. +owhere is this more ob$ious than with regar% to the limitations of cultural beliefs. * /nitarian minister name% 5an%le 8. @ining, in a ublishe% sermon, sai%, 0The o osite of belief is e) erience. #f you e) erience something then you know it is the truth, but the same thing belie$e% is a lie. #F "!/ 8RD85#8+,8 -!18TH#+G, TH8+ "!/ B+!& #T'- TH8 T5/TH, B/T TH8 -*18 TH#+G B8.#8@8D #- * .#8: But, you say, we can't function without beliefs: &ell, # agree that we can't function without theories an% i%eas. &e %o nee% a mental framework to hel us inter ret our e) erience of the worl%. But i%eas are not like religious beliefs, because we wouldn't claim any certainty for them. They are working hy otheses7# call them notions. * belief is a har%ene% notion, an% a belie$er is someone who's suffering from har%ening of the notions.0 1r. @ining is talking about the ten%ency we all ha$e to categori?e our e) erience an% then, when we recall the category, we think we ha$e recalle% the e) erience: &e ha$e recalle% a icture of the e) erience only. This icture can trigger a new e) erience but it often doesn't, particularly if we concentrate too hard on getting the picture right. For
e)am le, many of us ha$e ha% the eak e) erience of su%%enly being %eli$ere% from the bur%en of intense worry an% a$oi%ance an% the %eli$ery into a new e) erience of free%om like that %escribe% by eo le who ha$e been 0sa$e%.0 &e get free from our min% an% notice the 'oy of being really connecte% with an% aware of another erson we lo$e. &e then think, 0That was a won%erful e) erience an% # shoul% ne$er forget it an% e$eryone shoul% ha$e it.0 This originally generous im ulse (uickly becomes a belief an% a 0shoul%0 an% a moralistic $alue to be im ose% on others whether they are intereste% or not, inclu%ing the erson we were in lo$e with. Then we 'oin u together with other belie$ers an% we are off to the races. The worl% is still suffering mightily from belie$ers. True belie$ers usually $alue their beliefs more than they $alue other eo le. !ther eo le are e) en%able as long as the beliefs can be maintaine%. Their own chil%ren are e) en%able. Dakistanis an% #n%ians, *rabs an% 2ews, ,atholics an% Drotestants, -erbs an% ,roats, 1oslems an% ,hristians, -erbs an% *lbanians an% so on can all $ouch for the ultimate im ortance of being right an% how it 'ustifies the erennial mur%er of each other. *s long as eo le are less im ortant than belief, the worl% will continue to go to hell in a han%basket. How's that for a belief6 That's what # belie$e an% # am (uite attache% to it. *nyone who %isagrees ought to be shot: Hiding )rom 23perience by +elieving -eriously, if you really want to hi%e something, ut it behin% a belief7 referably a belief about what it is you want to hi%e. #f you want to a$oi% the e) erience of lo$e, hi%e behin% a belief in lo$e. Then romantici?e lo$e an% watch a lot of soa o eras about lo$e an% make a lot of soa o eras in your real life about lo$e. Go to war in the name of lo$e if you can. #f you want rotection from any uncontrollable feelings, make u some belief about them an% hol% on for %ear %eath. Heretics $ho are +eyond +elief There is a significant an% ra i%ly growing minority of eo le in the worl% who reali?e ersonally the relati$ity of belief. &e ha$e %isco$ere% an% in$ente% ways to learn %etachment from belief. &e ha$e let u on our %eman% that belief be gi$en the status of reality. We don't want our children raised that way anymore. #f you rea% beyon% this oint, you are one of us. # am also writing another book, $adical ,arenting) +ow to $aise #reators, which is a training manual about how to raise heretics. "ou can learn something by rea%ing these books, but # recommen% that you not belie$e a thing # say. 2ust hol% the insights lightly, without attachment. Be ins ire% if you are, be grateful an% e) ressi$e or angry an% e) ressi$e, e$en be an a%$ocate or an enemy, but %on't belie"e. Become a frien% to me an% my frien%s, or become our o onent, but let's not be belie$ers. There is some really goo% news in the current =eitgeist as well. The o$erbalance% stress on thinking by &esterners has been mo%ifie% in the min%s an% hearts an% actions of eo le all o$er the worl%. The most unlikely eo le are now racticing me%itation, e)ercise, contem lation of an% with the senses, an% contact, communication, an% o enness to
eo le with %ifferent beliefs. -lowly the wis%om of the heretics is integrate% into the culture, but then the %anger is always that new ers ecti$es become merely another set of beliefs, with wis%om %efeate% again. #t a ears that the ma)imum beneficial use of the human machine re(uires a constant reintegration of noticing an% thinking( Thinking in$ol$es categories %e$elo e% from re$ious noticing. The constant u %ate of thought only occurs when the continuous recurrence of noticing is ossible, not limite% by the re$ious set or 0belief.0 For this reason, lucky for us, e$ery belief system that cannot ra i%ly mo%ify itself is falling a art. For this reason, communism is falling a art. -o is fun%amentalism of all kin%s. -o is ca italism, an% a growing number of e) erts can see that now. #n our lifetimes, most of us will witness many %ownfalls as a result of the coming to an en% of the longChonore% human habit of reification an% blas hemous worshi of organi?e% belief systems. &e ha$e worshi e% belief for untol% millennia since our genetic athway %i$erge% slightly from our brother chim an?ee. We are going to miss holy reification of belief terribly, but it is time we grew beyond that. "he Mind0 the #ulture and the Possibility of Recreating +oth +ow, what we ha$e sai% so far is this4 &e all ha$e min%s an% we all are beings. #f we assume that we are beings within which the min% resi%es, rather than min%s within which the being resi%es, we e) erience a big %ifference. &e humans in the &est ma%e a slightly aberrant turn back there when Descartes sai%, 0# think, therefore # am.0 /nfortunately, that is a mistake. *fter a few hun%re% million useless %eaths an% a cou le thousan% years of %amage% suffering li$es, we now know that was wrong. 0# am, therefore # think0 is a better remise. #t makes all the %ifference in the worl%. To learn from being is more fruitful than to be from learning. * groun%ing in being, as chil%ren ha$e, is also the best trait for a%ults to ha$e, at all times an% no matter how ol% they get. &hat we learn from stu%ying how we be an% how we ha$e been is of $alue. &hat we learn from stu%ying what we ha$e alrea%y learne% is not worth much unless it is %one from a transcen%ent ers ecti$e, centere% in being. E@erci$e +ow re$ise an% e%it what you wrote about getting in your own way, at the en% of cha ter F. Take into consi%eration what you ha$e 'ust rea%. -a$e what you write for later use in the workbook section coming u .
4+ The Truth A5out A Cu ture$

,ultures o erate consistently with a mythology that allows them to focus the energy of their members towar% certain en%s. The benefits of this inclu%e creating things, con%itions, an% institutions to benefit the eo le of the culture. Howe$er, this focus limits what we can notice outsi%e the min%set of the myths we li$e by. !ur culture, as cultures %o, has taught us to be ignorant. # imagine you are engage% in the mi%%le of life with other eo le, inclu%ing chil%ren, %oing your best to res onsibly care for your chil%ren an% raise them right. #'m sure you're wellCintentione%. But wellCintentione%
eo le mislea% an% mistreat their chil%ren e$ery %ay because of highly $alue% an% un(uestione% cultural ignorance, moralism, righteousness, aranoia, obsessi$eness, an% other charming human characteristics. #'m sure you ha$e lenty of themH # certainly %o. ,ultures li$e in the min%s of in%i$i%uals. "ou ha$e a min% within which the culture we li$e in, li$es. #t is a min% full of ho elessly obsolete subsets of ignorant re'u%ice that com ete with each other for %ominance. # know this from ersonal e) erience with lots of arents an% with lots of neurotic a%ults like yourself. # also ha$e ma%e lenty of mistakes of my own an% ro%uce my fair share of mislea%ing %ata e$ery %ay. &e li$e in illusions that %irect our attention to certain things an% also block our $iew of what is out there in reality, other than what we are looking for. The reason # know you are li$ing in an illusion is because we all are, all the time. #t's 'ust that most of us %on't know it, an% for that reason we are li$ing out a scri t written years ago that %etermines almost e$erything we %o, inclu%ing how we raise our chil%ren an% how we treat each other. #llusions can be our frien%s if we can 'ust get one oint4 illusions are for creating, not for selfCassurance. .i$ing in a story is what we all must %o because we are human. Human beings li$e in the real worl%, but always in a way consistent with some story. 1ost of us li$e in stories that were create% for us by the con%itions of life we starte% out in an% sur$i$e% in as chil%ren an% the cultural re'u%ices we were born into. -ome of us grow beyon% that an%, as a%ults, actually %esign the story we li$e out of. There are not really a lot of us, but those of us who ha$e transcen%e% our raising ha$e foun% that li$ing in a story of our own conscious creation is a lot less miserable than li$ing in the sur$i$al story we came out of chil%hoo% with. 1ost of us li$e our entire li$es tra e% in a story we %es erately contri$e% so we coul% en%ure circumstances of mi%%le, or lower, or u erCclass chil% abuse in the culture in which we were raise%. &hen we she% the %elusional system that tells us life has a articular meaning, or that we must be careful to a$oi% symbolic %angers, or we shoul% com ete to o$ercome our a%$ersaries, or be olite abo$e all else, or maintain our belief in Go% or Go% will %ie, or any of the thousan%s of out%ate%, mislea%ing, an% actually %amaging beliefs of any kin% that eo le ha$e been selling as reality in our culture for centuries7when we get o$er attachment to the image or the illusion of who we are, then we get to create some new illusions for the future. &e %on't ha$e any choice not to li$e by illusions, but we can choose which illusions we li$e into. #t is our gi$en %estiny to be %elusional. %t's out of these illusions of a possible future that we li"e the creati"e and intentional life, an% that we heal the %amage %one by our re$ious attachments to beliefs that %on't work anymore an% ha$en't for a long time. ,reation of the future with conscious illusions ;calle% $isions< works best if the illusions meet two criteria4 they ha$e to in$ol$e making a contribution to other eo le in some way, an% they ha$e to closely match the sur$i$al skills from the in%i$i%ual's ast, because the skills of maintenance an% u kee for those are alrea%y %e$elo e%, an% the habit
structure can be use%. & person who understands the use of illusion from a position of transcendence or detachment 9that is, a person who uses illusions, but doesn't belie"e in them: has a much happier and fulfilled life. #f # am %isa ointe% about an image # 'ust %reame% u in the first lace, it's (uite %ifferent than feeling like %ying because somebo%y was %isa ointe% with, or re'ecte%, the image of whom # truly belie$e myself to be. *ll those folks who 'um e% out of the win%ow when the stock market crashe% were %oing so to esca e the negati$e meaning of the crash in a $ery limite% $iew of life. &hen eo le can use illusions to %esign their future in a layful an% creati$e way, they can %esign a life an% e%ucation for their chil%ren in coo eration with the chil%ren themsel$es, an% at the same time mo%el for the chil%ren what creating with illusions consists of. Radical +eing #n $adical +onesty) +ow To Transform Your 'ife *y Telling The Truth, # sai%, 0&e come into e)istence as beings an% grow min%s, which e$entually come to so %ominate the e) erience of being that there is little time or s ace left to atten% to any as ects of life other than thought.0 The books #'m writing are all %e%icate% to attem ting to un%o %amage alrea%y %one by o$erly moralistic arenting. For the chil% raise% by the stan%ar% attache%CtoCculturalCbelief arent, the min% becomes a 'ail. Being in 'ail is worrisome an% %e ressing. !ne ma'or thesis of these books is that the rimary cause of most an!iety an% most depression is being tra e% in the min%, unable to notice because of constantly thinking. &e stay tra e% in our min%s because of $arious kin%s of lying 7outright lying, hi%ing, lies of omission, retense, little white lies, withhol%ing, ya%%a ya%%a ya%%a. .ying kee s you tra e% in the 'ail of the min%, an% most of us lie habitually most of the time. 1y clients o$er the years ha$e reflecte% the culture they grew u in. They ha% all been taught systematically to lie by the way they were arente% an% e%ucate%. The only thing that coul% rescue them from the 'ail of the min% was to start telling the truth about e$erything they ha% %one, e$erything they felt, an% e$erything they thought. Telling the truth gets you back out into the real worl%, where you can %eal with other eo le an% feelings to some %egree of com letion before you recreate the ne)t mess in your life out of the unfinishe% business from the last com letion you a$oi%e%. Human stress is cause% by the min% of the in%i$i%ual suffering from stress. -uffering comes from being tra e% in the min%, unable to esca e the categories you ha$e ma%e u for yourself an% others from re$ious a$oi%e% e) erience, the emotional attachment to i%eas you in$ente% to rotect yourself from feelings in the ast, an% the ranting an% ra$ing of the min%. # call this fun%amental %isCease of being tra e% in the min% moralism. 1oralism is characteri?e% as e)treme attachment to moral rinci les7being tra e% in a $aluational continuum where 'u%gments about right an% wrong an% goo% an% ba% are gi$en e)cessi$e significance an% emotional charge. These rinci les become more im ortant than life itself. &e all ha$e the %isease of moralism, an%
the secret of the goo% life is learning how to manage the %isease like one manages her es or %iabetes an% other incurable, but somewhat controllable, %iseases. 1ost of us kee re eating the same kin% of beha$ior in relation to other eo le an% oursel$esH begging, berating, an% scol%ing oursel$es an% each other an% our chil%ren, trying to con$ince e$eryone that if we woul% all 'ust li$e u to our e) ectations we'% be ha y. #n our neurotic way, we %o this o$er an% o$er again an% e) ect a %ifferent result each time. &e get the same results4 anger, %iscomfort, %e ression, an)iety, an% somatic ailments %ue to stress. 1ost arents belie$e that the rimary res onsibility of arenting is morali?ing intensely: This is the worst iece of %elusional %ata e)tant to%ay. This is the core source of mi%%le class chil% abuse. ld'"imey Parenting as #ultural Instruction How %o most of us become re etiti$ely selfClimiting an% selfCtorturing in our stan%ar%, gar%en $ariety neurotic ways6 #t clearly starts with how we were arente%. "our arents %i% the best they coul%, gi$en that they li$e% in the %ark ages, where male intellect was thought to reign su reme, with no res ect for the continuum of genetic learning from which we came. "ou'$e robably sur$i$e% well enough to go on to ha$e chil%ren of your own, but your metho% of sur$i$al still robably limits you much more than necessary. "ou are $ery likely to be more worrying an% worrisome than necessary, trying to fill u em tiness with goo% beha$ior to get brownie oints along the way as a athway to ha iness. "ou might alrea%y know that being tra e% in erformance mo%e is retty screwe% u , but you're raising your ki%s the same way anyhow. Bee rea%ingH there are some i%eas that can be a big hel . The main thing seems to be to grow beyond the limitations im ose% by your culture. About *rowing and 5ot %topping with 6p Human %e$elo ment is a continuum of growth of the min% out of the being ;when we are babies<, through a erio% in which the min% ca tures all our attention ;a%olescence<, an% then to a time in which the liberation of the being from %omination by the min% occurs ;maturity<. The full ath of growth from birth to maturity consists of the birth of being, the growth of the min%, a erio% of %omination of the being by the min%, an% finally, a min% use% by the being who has esca e% %omination by the min%. How ca able we are in kee ing bo%y an% soul together as a%ults is %irectly contingent u on staying in touch with the e) erience of being in the bo%y7noticing, mo$ing, laying, an% manifesting energy %oing things other than thinking. Ha iness an% free%om %e en% u on not losing touch with being in the bo%y an% in the worl%, as one grows a min%. *s a sychothera ist, my main thera eutic metho% ;for eo le who ha$e been torn loose from contact with being an% are tra e% in their min%s an% ke t out of contact with being< is coaching eo le to tell the truth. &hen eo le begin telling the truth about what they ha$e %one, what they feel, an% what they think, they free themsel$es from the 'ail of their own min%. #t's lying that kee s one from gaining free%om from %omination by
one's own min%. &hen a erson who was once %i$i%e% against herself, an% out of touch with the 'oy of li$ing, becomes whole again through sychothera y, it is the result of beginning to notice things in the worl% all o$er again, inclu%ing her own bo%y, an% running her life more in obe%ience to what she notices, rather than in obe%ience to inter retations she has worke% har% to brainwash herself with. -he re orts her min%'s machinations to others, sim ly to share with others ;inclu%ing others she's thinking about<, but she %oesn't ha$e much faith in her min% as a source of %irections. &hen one who has been %amage% by how they were raise% begins to heal an% become whole again, the healing is a result of establishing balance out of imbalance, a reunification of being an% min%. * erson who has become whole again makes the best arent. &hen a erson 0loses their min% an% comes to their senses0 in sychothera y, there is a erio% of troublesome %isorientation. 5eorientation occurs through getting back in touch with gra$ity, sensation, an% what &ilhelm 5eich an% Frit? Derls calle% 0organismic selfC regulation.0 To become groun%e% in e) erience again is not 'ust changing some o inions. ! inions %o change, but that is after the reorientation to e) erience has occurre%. "ou start li$ing from what you notice you want rather than what your min% says you shoul% want. Thinking itself becomes merely something else to notice an% use, once one has become reoriente% to e) erience. Thinking loses its rior status as a rimary ruler an% 'ailkee er of being an% becomes more like the chauffeur. The min% becomes backgroun% an% the being in the bo%y is in the foregroun%. -o when you're thirsty you get a %rink, when you're hungry you eat, when you're tire% you rest, when you ha$e to go to the bathroom you go, an% so on. "ou notice other eo le's e) ressions an% tone of $oice an% changes in coloring an% ace of s eech, an% whate$er else hel s you com rehen% their communication to you. "ou are centere% in the worl% of noticing as the foregroun% an% your o inions are in the backgroun%7and changing constantly3 This inclu%es cultural $alues of all kin%s, an% is threatening to those whose worl% %e en%s u on belief. Dracticing ra%ical honesty with e$ery human aroun% you is the first ste in this transformation. #n this $iew of human %e$elo ment as a continuum of growth of the min% out of the being, an% then the liberation of the being from %omination by the min%, the most ob$ious (uestion that arises concerning chil% rearing is4 0How can we allow min%s to grow without losing touch with being60 The most im ortant (uestion before all the nations of the worl% at the turn of the century is, 0&hat is the best way to raise chil%ren so that they %on't ha$e to be torn loose from their groun%ing in being60 8$en though young humans must go through a long erio% of growth of a min%, an% arenting an% teaching must assist them in this task, can they %o it without losing the nourishment of common lace e) erience6 ,an they learn about the $alues for sale by the culture they are %um e% into without ha$ing their s irit crushe%6 In All #ultures- Let7s 8uit +rainwashing ur #hildren to +e Moralists
.uckily, through sharing honestly, some of us ha$e learne% from each other a few things that we know %on't work. &e know that morali?ing constantly with chil%ren at an early age makes chronic liars out of them in their a%ulthoo%. &e know that enforcing rules with a $engeance %amages eo le an% makes for a miserable life. -tringent moral instruction at an early age %oesn't create a ha y, whole a%ultH it creates miserable, selfCrighteous, hony, an% mani ulati$e eo le. #ntense early religious an% ethical instruction makes chronic liars out of eo le in their a%ulthoo%. /nha y arents an% teachers, enforcing rules with a $engeance, %amage chil%ren. This instruction results in a miserable chil%hoo% with chil%ren mistreate% in the %ysfunctional ways of the tra%ition. 1any among us know that stringent moral instruction at an early age %oesn't work, but too many of the teachers in charge of our chil%ren %on't ha$e a clue about the %amage they %o. There are lenty of fine teachers whose hearts are in the right lace an% who lo$e chil%ren, but they are o erating within a system that is im ossible to sur$i$e in without being agents of misery. There are teachers in the e%ucational system who know that stringent moral instruction at an early age %oesn't work. There are also teachers who %on't yet recogni?e this, an% most of them are com letely unaware of the %amage they %o with their shoul%s an% their con%itional lo$e an% their mis lace% moralism. Because the gra%ing, com aring, coaching, ushing, an% morali?ing that is alrea%y in lace, ro$i%e% by the structure of the system itself, is so oisonous, the eo le of com assion too often (uit. 8$en when they %o stay, their rimary function is to be outlaws within a corru t culture, an% slightly block the %amage %one. 8$en arents who know better often continue to %amage their chil%ren in s ite of what they know. &e fin% oursel$es, in trying to hel our chil%ren, acting 0on automatic0 base% on how we were raise%. !ut of lo$e for them, mi)e% with anger, e) resse% through stringently enforce% cautionary rules, taught at too early an age for the chil% to com rehen%, we teach them the same an)ieties that were traine% into us. #n a%%ition to that we sen% them to schools, make them %o whate$er homework is assigne%, an% encourage them to be successful in a system that is killing their s irits. C# in) # Cu ture$E How might we %esign a better way for chil%ren to be raise% so they %on't ha$e to suffer so much6 &hat if chil%ren were allowe% to %isco$er how to take care of themsel$es6 &hat if arents ha% faith enough in themsel$es an% their chil%ren to sim ly rotect chil%ren while they unfol% as they were genetically rogramme% to %o6 &hat if, instea% of forcing them, with unishment an% shame, to be worrie% an% afrai%, an% to memori?e rules 0for their own goo%,0 arents allowe% their chil%ren to learn from e) erimenting an% learne% with them6 &hat if lo$e an% encouragement an% an e$enChan%e% ermission to e) eriment were gi$en to chil%ren base% on assuming they are okay to start with, rather than assuming they are e$il little leasureCseekers who nee% to be taught how to beha$e6 #f lo$e an% encouragement with free%om works, an% # say it %oes, it coul%
become the norm, an% we coul% reorgani?e the whole human community an% create the ossibility of a lifetime of lay an% ser$ice for e$ery human being on the lanet. &hat if arents were in a thera eutic community in which their ten%ency to take out their misery on their chil%ren in the name of lo$e was com assionately interru te%6 &hat if the worl% became such a thera eutic community6 ,hanges in the way we all li$e together can ha en through a ra%ical change in how we raise our young. &ithout ra%ically changing how we raise an% e%ucate our chil%ren, homo sa s will increasingly be unable to en'oy the greatest benefit of life, that of li$ing freely an% fully in the moment, cherishing e$ery sensation an% connection with life an% with other human beings. #f that change in how we raise our young %oesn't ha en, we are finishe%. #ultural +lindness- "rying to "each "oo Much "oo %oon !ne of the rimary causes of the %isease of moralism is the force% training of chil%ren with abstract conce ts they are %e$elo mentally too immature to com rehen%. ,hil%ren are force% to act as if they un%erstan% abstract cogniti$e rinci les ;like right an% wrong, goo% an% e$il, the e)istence of Go%, the conce t of fairness, an% so on< before they are ca able of abstract cogniti$e thinking. ,hil%ren %o not learn the ability to generali?e an% abstract until about ten or ele$en years of age. They learn (uickly, howe$er, to focus on a$oi%ing unishment for not un%erstan%ing an% by acting as if they are trying har% to un%erstan%. ,hil%ren %on't know how to generali?e (uite like a%ults, but they learn to be afrai% of what is re(uire% of them, an% to feel stu i% an% ine t. They learn this (uickly, an% carry it with them for a long time. They learn how to cower an% falsify 0sincere0 effort. !nce a chil% learns this hony retense of un%erstan%ing to a$oi% unishment, along with being afrai% all the time, any further learning is blocke%. *fter the chil% has attaine% the age of ele$en or twel$e an% %e$elo s the ability to %o abstract thinking, they use it to make only a few ermanent %efensi$e generali?ations, one of which is4 0#f # ut on a show for the sake of the teachers an% my arents to kee them off my back, maybe # can ha$e another life in secret, rotecte% by reten%ing to be goo%.0 The roblem with too much force in training in abstraction in any culture whatsoe$er is that human chil%ren can't %o the abstracting re(uire% rior to ten or ele$en years of age, an% if force% to act like they ha$e, they continue to lay like they un%erstan% when they %on't, for the rest of their li$es. "he )undamental Assumptions "hat #ome with )eeling $hole Deo le who are ha y in life, regar%less of the culture they grew u in, learn how to feel connecte% with the continuum of life that they roll out of be% an% encounter e$ery %ay. Because of that feeling, they wake u into an assum tion that something interesting, something challenging, something goo%, something fun is likely to ha en to%ay. &oul%n't it be great if the ne)t generation of eo le, raise% by us, coul% wake u in the mornings with an e) ectation that is $ague but always there, that this %ay is to be looke% forwar% to6 Feeling whole is a fun%amental necessity for being a creator.
,hil%ren learn first, as a natural conse(uence of their %e$elo ment, to locate themsel$es in the real worl% of sensate reality in the moment. Then, because we are usually in a hurry, we train them out of it. For e)am le, a chil% might notice an% comment, 0That tooth aste smells goo%,0 when she's brushing her teeth. * arent who is attenti$e to the chil% as a constant guru of li$ing in the moment woul% themsel$es notice the smell of tooth aste, something they ha%n't notice% for a long, long time, an% say, 0"e . #t sure %oes,0 in a grateful tone of $oice. * arent who is in a hurry to get the ki% off to school so she can get off to work to get to the ne)t lace she has to go to, to get through the %ay an% get the %ay o$er with, woul% say, 0Hurry u , honey. &e're going to be late.0 This little %ifference in arenting can make all the %ifference in the worl%. The systematic teaching of hysteria about time is a art of the curriculum for the %ay, on most %ays, for most of the chil%ren in our culture. The arents of millions of chil%ren wake u into a frenetic assum tion4 0# ha$e to make e$erybo%y get there on time.0 They resentfully force themsel$es to ush the ki%s to get rea%y in time, resenting chil%ren for 0%aw%ling0 while being afrai% of what the boss will think if they're late again. -omehow, we ha$e to interru t that interru tion. 8$ery time a chil% interru ts your mental agen%a to oint out something they ha$e notice% in the moment, follow their lea% instea% of o$erri%ing their %isco$ery because your agen%a is more im ortant. "our agen%a isn't more im ortant. "our culture has gi$en you a ba% agen%a. "ou'$e been torn loose from the continuum of being an% ca ture% by intellect. 1ost of us are sychotic with regar% to time an% money. ,hil%ren who are 0s oile%0 in the ol% ara%igm way of thinking are actually the ones who ha$e been raise% the best. They ha$e been taught to e) ect that the worl% is a lace of nurturance an% lo$e, an% as they gra%ually, o$er about twel$e to si)teen years, take full res onsibility for their li$es, they %e$elo their skills in taking care of themsel$es in the conte)t of an assum tion of each %ay bringing a new an% interesting a%$enture. ,hil%ren %o a lot of fantasy lay to %e$elo their imaginations. !ur 'ob is to lay along with them by hel ing them %e$elo their ability to en$ision the future an% li$e into their $isions. 1arilyn Ferguson says in her great book, $adical #ommon (ense ;which hasn't been ublishe% yet because of com lications with international cor orations who own almost all the ublishing com anies<, that in her e)tensi$e stu%y of $isionary eo le she foun% that, 09consciously or unconsciously, they ha$e learne% to be goo% arents an% teachers to themsel$es.0 # think this is more than likely relate% to them not ha$ing ha% their natural born o timism stom e% out of them at an early age by arents an% teachers hysterical about time an% money. How $ould $e "reat #hildren If $e $eren7t $orking so Hard to "each "hem %omething! .et them lea% e$ery now an% then. 2ust %o whate$er they %o or ask you to %o. "ou'll learn how to lay with them the way they like to lay at whate$er age they are. Dlay with them. They will teach you again to be a $isionary, thereby allowing you to en$ision how to raise them. &e coul% 'ust start
learning with them. 5a%ical arenting means staying connecte% as an ol%er being with your chil% as a younger being. To be resent to a chil%'s resence to you, to notice that you are being notice% an% to gi$e your full attention with no articular agen%a, is one of the great 'oys of arenting. "ou an% your chil% can lay with your %e$elo ing min%s together, bon%e% as one noticing being noticing the other. *s Bierkegaar% sai%, 0* erson who relates to another erson an% relates also to that relationshi relates thereby to Go%.0 1y un%erstan%ing of this is that you %isco$er yourself as Go% an% the other as Go% at the same time. ,hil%ren are rich with the fullness of being, an% the nurturance you get from nurturing them is the best there is. This is more $aluable than money. Dlay with your ki%s for hours instea% of making more money. %eeing Problems as pportunities to Play # belie$e that eo le can work out their roblems in life by sharing with other eo le. # ha$e a lot of frien%s who share that belief, an% we act on that belief by telling each other what roblems we ha$e an% working them out. .ife %oesn't come without roblems. Droblems are life. &e %on't e) ect life to be roblemCfree an% we %on't e) ect roblems to %isa ear through ho e or ositi$e thinking or the magical recitation of 0affirmations0 or any other form of magical thinking. Those ways of thinking are the lefto$ers from ha$ing been brainwashe% into laying like we un%erstan% something we %on't, an% laying that reten% games are the same as reality. Those of us who ha$e grown beyon% that han%le our roblems by confronting them o enly an% sharing them rather than kee ing secrets. +ot all roblems are miserable. * lot of roblems are fun. 1iserable roblems can become fun through the transformation of ers ecti$e on the roblem. 5eality cannot be change% by thinking or %ay%reaming. Ders ecti$es on reality can be change% easily. &hen the willingness an% ins iration that come from a change in ers ecti$e show u , transformation can occur. $epeated, ongoing, recurrent transformation is the alternati"e to moralism. 1y frien%s an% # all 0%i% our time0 in the rison of the min% %uring (uite an e)ten%e% a%olescence. &e e$entually esca e% the retense of our re utations to oursel$es. &e finally got clear that our imagining of who we were in the eyes of other eo le, an% our erforming whate$er lies were necessary to maintain that image, were a waste of time an% the source of more roblems than got han%le%. &e %eci%e% that, somehow, we %i%n't want our li$es use% u by such a story. *s a way out of the story, we starte% really talking to each other about our own retenses. &e tol% the truth about our hony erformances to each other, an% that took away the nee% to kee it u . &e now get to in$ent, for oursel$es, what our li$es get use% u by, rather than ha$ing them use% u by the metho% of sur$i$al a%$ocate% by our trainersH that is, laying to the au%ience to control their $iew of who we are so we can get what we want. That got boring an% felt futile an% we thought, 0there must be more interesting things to %o in the worl%.0 &e en%e% u turning to the task of creating a new worl% together an% it is
more fun that the ol% life was. &e %eci%e% that because life always in$ol$es roblems, why not be in charge of in$enting some of them, an% why not in$ent one big enough to be worth working on6 &hat we ha$e in$ente% to use u our li$es is buil%ing a hea$en on earth by honestly sharing who we are. -a$ing the worl% an% im ro$ing the li$es of all human beings on the lanet through sharing is the roblem we ha$e in$ente% an% taken on for our own sakes. * lifetime of lay an% ser$ice for e$ery erson on the lanet is the ossibility we in$ente% to li$e for. &e woul% like to s en% our li$es working on en%ing human suffering, using oursel$es u to en% it. &orking on the solutions to this roblem is much more challenging an% fun than a life of 'ust kee ing u with the current style. To bring about a solution to the roblems of human suffering an% lanetary e)tinction an% make a worl% that works for e$erybo%y, rather than 'ust the rich folks, we nee% to work on a lot of minor subC roblemsH namely, the en% of star$ation, the en% of economic in'ustice, the en% of the arms race, the en% of authoritarian go$ernance of countries an% cor orations, the en% of war, the en% of ensla$ing e%ucational ara%igms, an% the en% of genoci%e. This almost gi$es us enough roblems. This is almost enough to substitute for whining about how you %on't lo$e me as much as you lo$e somebo%y else or whether to get the For% or the ,he$y. &e are taking on the central roblem7an% we ask you to hel 7of raising a generation of human beings the worl% o$er who are re are% to lo$e an% share with other human beings. &hat you can %o to hel the worl% become a much better lace is to take %elight in your chil%ren, an%, $iewing them through the eyes of %elight, work consciously to ha$e them lo$e life, an% learning, an% other eo le. Do this more by e)am le than instruction. -o let's get to work. The goo% life is share% roblems. -ol$ing big roblems together is the best game on earth. #f arents an% teachers sto teaching whining an% com laining an% start teaching the fun of laying with roblems, hel is on the way. *ll in all, our imme%iate forebears ha$e not %one that great a 'ob of lo$ing their chil%ren. &e can tell by looking aroun% at the worl% we li$e in. &e can tell by all the %amage% chil%ren who are our frien%s. &e can tell by looking at our current, mostly sick institutions ;take the legal system, for e)am le<. 1ost of us are %e resse% or an)ious or angry or %istracte% or sick or 'ust not ha y. &e were raise% in a way that %i%n't work, an% we are raising our chil%ren, for the most art, in the same way. -o we ha$e to %o some work on oursel$es to change how we treat our chil%ren. #ross #ultural "ransformation- Learning to "olerate ,oy -ome of us ha$e worke% through anger an% shame an% se)ual inhibitions in the course of growing beyon% 'ust growing u an% were sur rise% at what came ne)t. &e were sur rise% to %isco$er that we are more afrai% of 'oy than we are of any of the other emotions. The 'oy an% celebration of free%om together that emerge% when we got free from most of the min%'s taboos was so unfamiliar it was too much to bear. 1any of us ha$e this builtCin mechanism to guar% against being
o$erwhelme% by lo$e7being unmanne% an% unwomanne% an% un%one from our i%entity as sur$i$ors. Here is how the mechanism works4 we fall in lo$e an% feel lo$e for another erson an% for a little while it is 'ust won%erfulH more won%erful than we can allow oursel$es to e) erience. -o our min%s, whose %uty it is to make sure we are not o$erwhelme% by any e) erience, sa$e us from that e) erience of lo$e by associating the current e) erience of lo$e with earlier recor%s of ha$ing lost this same kin% of lo$e. &e close %own the lo$e with an)iety, to re$ent the intensity. &e e) erience lo$e an% imme%iately turn it into nostalgia for lost lo$e because we cannot bear letting lo$e come an% go. 0# ha$e lost it before,0 our min%s say, 0an% it was terrible, so %on't %o that again.0 !ur mothers an% fathers an% teachers an% other big eo le lo$e% us con%itionally an% we ne$er (uite got the con%itions met. &e lost their lo$e an% thought it was our fault for not being careful enough. &e %i%n't stay in control. This time we will be careful7so careful we block the feeling with the memory of the loss of the feeling. .o$e becomes blocke% by mourne% lost lo$e an% romantici?e% nostalgia to satisfy the min%'s nee% to reser$e the illusion of control. #t is our min%'s 'ob to rotect us. &e think that who we are is our min%. !ur arents an% teachers taught us that who we are is our min%s. They were %ea% wrong. &ho we actually are, is a being, in lo$e. &e alrea%y knew this when we were little, but we %i%n't know we knew it. #n the course of growing u , we got traine% out of it by eo le who thought that %e$elo ing our min%s an% i%entifying with them was more im ortant. !nce we get this again, an% get that we ha$e always known this in our bones, our life changes from makingC%oCtheCtheCbestC weCcan ;sur$i$al< to making out (uite ha ily in the worl%. This lo$e of being ali$e comes with the territory of being human. The future of humankin% %e en%s u on how well we learn ali$eness an% lo$e of life o$er again from our chil%ren, an% how well we let lo$e for them be the heart of how we organi?e oursel$es in the worl% to take care of them. This book is to hel us learn to teach each other to be beings in lo$e. $e All Have A #ommon Desire &here$er # ha$e been with eo le7'ails, mental hos itals, uni$ersities, cor orations7# ha$e ne$er foun% a human being who %i%n't want to contribute to the wellCbeing of other eo le. 5egar%less of how %istorte% their min% or how twiste% their thinking, all human beings fun%amentally want to hel each other, be with each other, contribute to each other. Human beings want to celebrate being ali$e with other human beings who are celebrating being ali$e. This is fun%amental to our nature as human beings. # belie$e that the worl% of human beings can e$entually become conscious of, an% o erate accor%ing to, this fun%amental lo$e of human beings for each other an% their %esire to celebrate being itself, if the min%'s resistance to this %oesn't %estroy us first. !ur min%s resist the risk of surren%er to celebration of the 'oy of being ali$e with other human beings because we ha$e learne% that human beings are %angerous. &e learn this in the course of growing u . 1ost of us o$erlearn this aranoi% fear of other human beings because of the oisonous moralism an% arental abuse of ower in the culture in which
6+ Con$ciou$ Co''unit% #nd Con$ciou$ Chi d Re#rin)
we are raise%. # belie$e that the will of human beings to contribute to each other is stronger than the resisti$e forces of their min%s. # also belie$e that one %ay the force of being will be more in control of how humans li$e than the forces of the min%'s resistance. The key to this is how well we lo"e each other and how well we lo"e our children. # ho e you are ins ire% by now, but you may be offen%e% instea%. #f you are offen%e% by anything #'$e sai% so far, check to see what moral you are attache% to an% see if you can forgi$e me. #f you are not offen%e% so far, or are offen%e% but still intereste%, continue on an% rea% this book. &e ho e it will hel you a lot in raising your ki%s an% lo$ing your neighbors an% ha$ing fun %oing it, attenti$ely, layfully, an% in no hurry, casually sa$ing the worl%. 1embers of a culture that is aslee are characteri?e% by unconscious attachment to a cultural subgrou of $alues base% on how they were raise%, or in rebellion against how they were raise%. The most im ortant gift we can gi$e to our chil%ren an% to humanity is to teach them to grow beyon% limiting beliefs continuously. .o$ing our chil%ren unconsciously is not enough. The gift is to lo$e our chil%ren consciously with a clear intention to hel them stay in touch with the glory of being ali$e in their bo%ies as they grow, so they can transcen% the 'ail of their own min% when they grow u . +urturing their s irits is im ortant for their free%om. The being of the arent lo$es the being of the chil%, consciously, an% two free ersons grow an% grow an% grow. The first generation, e$er, of in%e en%ent eo le not ensla$e% by their own min%s is born. Beings are in charge of their own min%s, rather than min%s in charge of their own beings. This is the %awning of the age of enlightenment. #t has to %o with gi$ing u the ro$incialism of culture itself. .et's %o it. .et's en'oy it. This book is a basis for honest con$ersation between generations about taking res onsibility for the ne)t new generation. # am talking to all of us. 8$eryone in the home schooling mo$ement, e) erience% arents an% gran% arents, single arents, frien%s of single arents, newlywe%s, young cou les, firstCtime arents, firstCtime gran% arents, o$er 1KK,KKK eo le who will ha$e bought $adical +onesty by the time this book is release%, an% all the gra%uates of the 5a%ical Honesty Two Day &orksho s, The ,ourse in Honesty ;J Day<, The ,ourse in Forgi$eness ;G %ays< an% The ,ourse in ,reating ;G %ays<. #'m talking to all the gra%uates of trainings in$ol$ing e)istentialist an% Bu%%hist a roaches such the Forum, .ife - ring, #nsight Training, an% those con%ucte% by Tony 5obbins, Bathlyn an% Gay Hen%ricks, +eale Donal% &alsch, Dema ,hQ%rQn an% literally hun%re%s of other com assionate eo le an% goo% teachers. # am talking to e$eryone who has e$er been in a 1FCste rogram in ** or in *lC*non or many coC%e en%ency grou s. # am here to s eak with the 4K million *mericans who embrace 0+ew Dara%igm @alues0 as re orte% in a sur$ey con%ucte% by Daul 5ay re orte% in Noetic (ciences $e"iew in 1>>M. # also a eal to eo le who are not arents an% %on't lan to be, but who are intereste% in new ara%igm $alues an% in making a contribution to the
eo le of the worl%. # am s eaking to e$eryone who has rea% The #ontinuum #oncept by 2ean .ie%loff, which has been in ublication for almost twenty years now an% is a master iece. #t com ares our li$es with the li$es of rimiti$e tribes with regar% to ha iness of the a%ults, an% e)amines the chil%C rearing ractices that make us who we are in each culture. This con$ersation is with an% for e$eryone who has rea% the following books an% others like them4 (ummerhill by *. -. +eill, the interestCle% learning books by 2ohn Holt the books of 2ohn Taylor Gatto The Teenage 'iberation +andbook by Grace .lewelyn The War &gainst #hildren by Breggin an% Breggin (piritual ,arenting) & uide to -nderstanding and Nurturing Your #hild ;Harmony, 1>>P< by Hugh an% Gayle Drather Dee ak ,ho ra's new book about arenting, (e"en 'aws of (piritual ,arenting, 2on an% 1yla BabatC=inn's book an% worksho 4indful ,arenting) Nourishing our #hildren, rowing Oursel"es, an% 'o"e and (ur"i"al) The (cientific *asis for the +ealing ,ower of %ntimacy by Dean !rnish, 1.D. # lan to re$iew all of these books an% a few more in my u coming book $adical ,arenting. But, rea% Dean !rnish's book as soon as you can, because of his brilliant analysis an% e$i%ence of the relationshi between wholeness an% health an% healing an% his clear un%erstan%ing of the uselessness of moralism without lo$e. The eo le in this worl% are waking u from a long slee . &e are all hel ing. This is a great time to be ali$e because com assionate eo le are coming into their own ower. *ll these eo le, an% many more you an% # %on't know about, are growing beyon% the cultural limitations of whate$er culture they were born into. # ha$e mentione% 'ust a few lea%s to contribute to the network that is hooking u all o$er the worl%. &e will come to recogni?e each other as time goes on, an% when we %o, we will change the worl%.
7+ The Ro#d Fro' The ,ind 8#i B#c. To Bein)9The Su!i Le"e $ O! Con$ciou$ne$$
&e ha$e 'ust starte% the con$ersation about the %e$elo mental ath from centere%ness in being to the growth of the min% in a culture, to the e$entual recentering in being for using the min% an% the tra%itions of the culture. +ow we want to re$iew what ha ens when we assume that a erson in a culture wants to outgrow the limitations of that culture. &hat can we %o if our starting lace is now, an% we are tra e% in a min%6 #'m using the -ufi system calle% the le"els of human consciousness as a mo%el for our mutual instruction. This mo%el was first taught to eo le in the &est aroun% the turn of the century by Gur%'ieff. .et's assume we are liars in the acculturate% way we learne% in whate$er culture we were raise%. #f we were stringently instructe% to learn abstractions at
too early an age, we li$e in our min%s so much we har%ly ha$e any e) erience of anything an% we can barely contact reality enough to walk through a %oorway without bum ing into the %oor'amb. &e nee% to get back into the worl% of e) erience an% sto obsessi$ely thinking. &e woul% like to get to where we feel ha y an% in charge of our li$es rather than feeling like we're running aroun% in circles utting out fires all the time. &e want to 0inhibit the mo%ifications of the min%0 an% become resent to e) erience. How %o we %o that6 "he Level of +elief &e must start by recogni?ing where we are in the first lace. &e are at a le$el of consciousness that the -ufis calle% the 0le$el of belief.0 This means we think that to esca e our min% we must figure something out. &e think we nee% to figure out what to belie$e an% then act accor%ingly. The roblem is that we are trying to think our way out of thinking. !ur entire focus is on figuring out what we shoul% belie$e an% acting accor%ingly. This is the lowest le$el of human consciousness, calle% 0the le$el of belief.0 The -ufis say that ninetyCeight ercent of us s en% ninetyCeight ercent of our time at this le$el. *t least we know we are not alone. .ots of other eo le in the worl% share this le$el of consciousness with us most of the time. This le$el has an alternati$e name. #t's calle% hell. #t's the inesca able %oCloo rison of the interminable warning buttons of the reacti$e min% an% the useless rationali?ations of the rationali?ing min%. #t's hell. #t's being strongly attache% to the cultural (uagmire we got %um e% into that # %iscusse% in the beginning cha ters you ha$e 'ust rea%. .et's say we li$e in hell for a long time. &e grow ol%er, get a 'ob, get marrie%, an% so on. &hen we reflect on our life, we reali?e life isn't (uite li$ing u to its billing. &e %on't want much. &e woul% 'ust like to work when we feel like it an% not work when we %on't. That's all. &e belie$e we can't %o that but we wish we coul%. !ur 'ob, our ki%s, our family, our bills, an% our other obligations %ictate what we %o an% there 'ust isn't any time left. &e 'ust ne$er can, really, rela). #t is not all intensely ainful, some of it is e$en en'oyable, but we are basically on %uty all the time, %reaming of a %ay when we won't ha$e to be on %uty all the time anymore. The Le"e o! Soci# Contr#ct$ #n this le$el, we ha$e %one some work on oursel$es, some thera y, some schooling, some honest con$ersations, some %egree of telling the truth, but we are stuck with obligations we 'ust ha$e to res on% to. The 0le$el of social contracts0 is one notch abo$e hell, but only one notch. #t is a slightly higher hell than the le$el of belief because it at least recogni?es that other eo le out there e)ist in%e en%ently from our own min%'s ictures of them. That isn't true at the le$el of belief, where other eo le are 'ust categories like 0con$erts0 or 0heathens.0 The lowest le$el, the 0le$el of belief,0 is where insulate%, isolate% fun%amentalists li$e. The ne)t le$el u is where many first generation immigrants li$e. #t is where we li$e when we are concerne% about acce tance an% li$ing u to other eo le's e) ectations. -o let's say that now we ha$e a%$ance% from the le$el of belief to the le$el of social contracts but we are still se$erely constraine%. Dlus, many times each %ay we %ro back into the le$el of belief, where we are trying to figure out what to belie$e an% then %o what that belief %ictates. *lthough the obligations to other eo le we ha$e contracte% for constantly 0rescue0 us from the hell of
belief, the rescue is har%ly worth the work. &hereas at the le$el of belief we aren't e$en relate% to other eo le e)ce t as triggers for other beliefs on our art, now we recogni?e the in%e en%ent e)istence of other eo le that laces constant %eman%s on us. !ur marriage, ki%s, aying ta)es, aying bills, an% honoring other commitments to other eo le %eli$er us from the frying an of selfCtorture into the fire of the torture of obligation. The S#int E)o Le"e 8$entually, through har% li$ing an% e) erience, we get to know that there must be more to life than showing u to work on time an% ha$ing a s lit le$el house with a twoCcar garage an% twoC ointCeight chil%ren an% kee ing the mortgage ai% an% %oing our %uty to others who are %oing their %uty to us. There has to be more to life than maintaining our obligations. *t least we ha$e learne% that. 1ost of us are in our forties before we learn that. &hen we %o reali?e that there is more to life than fulfilling obligations, we reali?e at the same time that knowing that makes us su erior to others who ha$en't learne% that yet. &e also know that there is more to life than being an obe%ient, wellCbeha$e% citi?en for whom li$ing within the gui%elines of con$ention is the highest goal of life. The -ufis, accor%ing to Gur%'ieff, who first intro%uce% these le$els of consciousness to the &est, calle% this le$el of consciousness the 0-aint 8go le$el.0 &e begin to un%erstan% that we are better than most of the other fools in the worl%. -ome of us mo%ern %ay -ufis call this the 01uhamma% *li le$el,0 because 1uhamma% *li in his rime was such a great e)am le of roclaime% su eriority. 0# am the greatest:0 he sai%, 0# float like a butterfly an% sting like a bee:0 0# am beautiful:0 He refuse% to go to @ietnam an% kill his %arkCskinne% brothers an% sisters because the human bunch who claime% he belonge% to them tol% him it was his %uty. He was not obe%ient to the beliefs an% the social contracts they claime% he shoul% be obe%ient to because he was su erior to that. &hen we attain the le$el of consciousness known as the 1uhamma% *li le$el, we still make fre(uent $isits back to the two lower le$els of consciousness known as belief an% social contracts. &e still ha$e beliefs an% we still ha$e to %eal with social contracts, but we ten% to not be as attache% to beliefs an% we han%le social contracts so we can s en% more time at a higher an% less worrisome lace. &e want to s en% more an% more time at this higher le$el because we ha$e a larger ers ecti$e that subsumes more information, a ers ecti$e of su eriority from which to $iew beliefs an% social contracts. -ince # ha$e been hanging out at that le$el for some years now, let me gi$e you an e)am le of the le$el by e)cer ting from a letter # wrote a few months ago to my literary agents in res onse to their suggestion that # nee%e% a coCauthor, ghost writer, or e%itor before # coul% ha$e a bestCseller because my language is too offensi$e4 0-o here is the way it is. #'ll write whate$er way # want. # know what # am talking about an% what # ha$e to say. # will not change what # ha$e to say to suit the market or what soCcalle% e) erts about the ublishing fiel% claim to know about the market, inclu%ing you two. # will not change how # say what # say if, in my $iew, it changes in any way, sha e, or form the oint of what # ha$e to say. # will not surren%er any authority o$er what goes out un%er
my name. *t the heart of what # ha$e to say is the general attitu%e of %isres ect for min%s. The fun%amental integration of 8astern an% &estern hiloso hy that # ha$e synthesi?e%, which # both re resent an% li$e by, transcen%s local knowle%ge, an% # am not going to change that for any mere agent or ublishing com any.0 0# %on't want a coCauthor or e$en a hea$yChan%e% coach about what the min% of the e) ert thinks the min%s of the eo le think. # ha$e been %oing sychothera y with miserable intellectuals for more than half my life. # %on't inten% to cater to the sickness # ha$e learne% to heal in myself an% others. # will work, on a gi$e an% take basis, one aragra h at a time, with an e%itor whom # res ect, with me ha$ing the final authority o$er what gets ublishe%...0 0The $ery essence of what # ha$e to say is ra%ical. # am talking about the o$erthrow of the go$ernment of the min%. That inclu%es all min%s. "our own min% is not your frien%H it is Big Brother insi%e of you. #t consi%ers itself to be who you are. # %on't consi%er your min% or mine to be who we are. # consi%er the being who grew the min%, the one who notices first an% learns secon%, the obser$erCinCtheCmomentCali$eCrightCnowConly being to be who # am an% who you are. # %o not cater to the min%s of what your min% calls 'the market.' # ser$e their beings instea%.0 0* fully ali$e, healthy erson raises hell all the time, is not olite, offen%s eo le, hurts eo le's feelings, an% also stays with eo le while they work through the feelings7committe% to their being an% at war with their min%s. He or she %oesn't submit to the min%s of others or e$en to his or her own min%. He or she rules his or her own life an% creates a life from being, which is to say, out of lo$e, using his or her min%H not being use% by it. # %o not cater to e) ert o inion e$en if it is my own. This is what # am e) ert in. For the lo$e of being # am a %estroyer of min%sH incessantly, en%lessly, an% erha s fruitlessly, but it is my own sweet %amne% choice.0 0# am in lo$e with hun%re%s of eo le an% they are in lo$e with me. This is not romantic lo$e or nostalgic lo$e but sim ly the lo$e of one being for another. The way we %i% it is through the way of being # ha$e 'ust %escribe%. * lot of the eo le # lo$e an% who lo$e me were offen%e% by me in the first lace because # threatene% the illusion of control ro$i%e% by their min%s. That is what # am about.0 *s you can see, li$ing at this le$el is more fun than the re$ious le$els. # continue% my rant at my oor agents. 0!nce, when Frank .loy% &right was being sue% by a client, the lawyer for the client began his cross e)amination of 1r. &right, who was in the witness stan%, by saying, '1r. &right, it's been sai% that you are the worl%'s greatest li$ing architect.' Frank .loy% &right res on%e%, 'That's a bit conser$ati$e.'0 0# a%mire that arrogance. # think &right showe% an honorable %isres ectfulness of all human assessments an% com arisons an% e$aluations other than his own. # am rou% to be
arrogant in that same way, an% # think in an im ortant way it is rere(uisite to being the creati$e genius that # am. # %on't ha$e much faith in min%s at all, but if # am going to lace my faith in anyone's min% at all, it will be mine. 0# woul% like to title my ne)t book & 4ind is a Terrible Thing3 Waste %t35 but after reflection an% goo% coaching from some eo le who lo$e me # am willing to change it to $adical +onesty %%) +ow to 'i"e the ood 'ife by #ompleting the ,ast, (taying %n the ,resent, and #reating a Future with a 'ittle +elp from Your Friends. 0# inten% to teach by mo%eling, both in how # li$e an% how # write, the life of an in%i$i%ual who is not controllable by moralism. # wish 'mere anarchy' to be 'loose% u on the worl%' an% # will %o e$erything # can to make it so. &hat %o we nee% moralism for if we ha$e the integrity of being6 &hen we break loose from the stu i% illusion of control we ha$e tra e% oursel$es into with the hel of the entire culture an% e%ucational system an% the cri le% humans we were raise% by, we %on't go 'out of control,' but we do go beyon% control. &e are beyon% control by olitical force, whether it be go$ernment or office olitics. &e then %isco$er a new use for the min%7namely, as a creati$e instrument in ser$ice to our true i%entity, the being within which the min% resi%es. 0# am a lea%er in the re$olution of consciousness. "ou %on't %o that by catering to lameCbraine% e) erts. "ou %on't %o that by catering to min%s' attachments.0 That tira%e is a fine e)am le, if # %o say so myself, of a erson at the thir% le$el of consciousness, the 1uhamme% *li or -aint 8go le$el. .uckily my agents are use% to it, an% being su erioristic egotists themsel$es they un%erstoo% me an% %i%n't (uit, but figure% out a way to continue to su ort me without controlling me too much. /nfortunately, we %i%n't fin% a ublisher who wante% to gi$e me a whole lot of money for being the su erioristic 'erk that # was there. # ha$e ha% to grow a little more to get ublishe% now. *nother e)am le of someone who s ent time in the -aint 8go le$el is General George Datton. The mo$ie ,atton has a scene where, after successfully in$a%ing -icily, Datton is gi$ing a ress conference as he's walking through a fiel%. He uses some rofanity, an% a lowerCranking re orter, trailing along in a carefully resse% uniform, comments on the general's language. George ,. -cott, as Datton, %eli$ers this line4 0#f # want it to stick, # gi$e it to 'em lou% an% %irty, an% then they remember it.0 The Le"e o! Phi o$o&herFCh#r #t#n *fter a while at the 1uhamma% *li le$el of consciousness, a being may ha$e a %awning re$elation that lea%s to the ne)t le$el of consciousness. &e recogni?e that bragging about being su erior by $irtue of the inferiority of others is not $ery su erior, an% e$en if it is, so what6 &e are e(ual as a being to other beings. &hen we brag about being better than, smarter than, or su erior to other eo le, it is not our being we are referring to, it is our beliefs. &e come to un%erstan% that the beliefs we ha$e generate% from our own life e) erience are 'ust more beliefs. This inclu%es our belief in our own su eriority. &e start losing faith in our own ego. &e begin to see through our own min%. -o what that we
are su erior to fun%amentalists6 &hat %oes that mean6 &e know that their attachment to their beliefs %oesn't work, but we are still attache% to a few we call our own, one of which is about our soCcalle% su eriority. *t this oint, artly out of %es eration, we begin to enroll other eo le in our har%Cearne% beliefs ;that is, we start selling our beliefs to others<. Ho efully, a whole bunch of others will ay to rea% these beliefs at about fifteen bucks a book. ;Ha:< "e , this is my main le$el these %ays. #t's calle% the 0le$el of Dhiloso herI,harlatan.0 The beliefs # ha$e generate% from my har%Cearne% e) erience are, # know, 'ust more beliefs, but #'m selling them to you ne$ertheless. 1ost of us ha$e ha% a taste of all these le$els, though we still remain generally entangle% at the le$els of belief an% social contracts. "ou know what # am talking about here. "ou may not s en% a lot of time at this le$el, but you e) erience% it when you were trying to sell other eo le on the $irtues of your beliefs. #f not, you woul%n't be rea%ing these soCcalle% selfC hel books. *t this le$el, you acknowle%ge that you know more than most, you know that %oesn't mean much, an% you try to sell what you can to make the most of it e$en though your general o inion of yourself as su erior %oesn't %o much for you anymore, gi$en your knowle%ge that a su erior erson an% a regular erson aren't recogni?ably %ifferent. The Le"e o! De$&#ir Here we are, unfortunately, becoming su erior to being su erior. &e are on the cus of a $ery high le$el of consciousness, the ne)t rung on the la%%er, known as the 0le$el of Des air.0 Des air comes from root wor%s in both .atin an% Greek that mean 0%own from ho e.0 &e no longer ho e. &e ha$e no ho e. &e ha$e nothing to ho e for. &e are ho eless. &e ha$e nothing left to belie$e in, inclu%ing our own har%Cearne% beliefs. &e ha$e come to un%erstan% that all beliefs, e$en our beliefs base% on our own e) erience an% our beliefs about who we are, are worthless. &e get that we are com ulsi$e meaningCmaking machines who en%lessly make meaning out of e$erything, an% it is all a waste. &e reali?e that life its own self is meaningless. This is a $ery high le$el of human consciousness. &erner 8rhar% sai%, 0/ntil you know that your life is utterly meaningless you %on't know anything at all.0 *t this le$el, you get that the reacher Boeloth in the book of 8cclesiastes in the !l% Testament is right when he says, 0*ll is $anity, an% a stri$ing after the win%, an% there is no rofit in it.0 &e are worth e)actly nothing. &e are not of significant negati$e $alue ;a o ular ego tri <, or of significant ositi$e $alue ;all the hy e about selfCesteem an% ositi$e thinking, an% all the re$ious le$els of consciousness, an% so on<. &e are of no $alue. =ero. +a%a. =ilch. +othing. +ow, at this le$el, we're really getting somewhere. Then it %awns on us that becoming more conscious is not necessarily correlate% with becoming ha ier. There are no guarantees about nothing, an% that's not ba% grammar an% it's not 'ust a un. +ow what6 &ell, if we %on't run away to lower le$els of consciousness as (uick as we can ;which, of course we %o, the first thirty or forty times we reach this le$el< we get born into the ne)t, $ery high le$el of consciousness, known as the 0le$el of -uici%al Danic.0 The Le"e o! Suicid# P#nic
*t this le$el, we either kill oursel$es or we %on't. &e are %es erate for something to belie$e in. #f we %on't kill oursel$es, we e$entually run out of anic. &e are at a $ery high le$el of consciousness, known as 0-uici%al Danic,0 an% then we %on't kill oursel$es an% we are no longer in a anic. That, then, is the ne)t le$el. But before we name an% %escribe that le$el, let's focus a bit on what the anic at this le$el is about. The anic is from not ha$ing a single thing to belie$e in at all, not e$en %es air. &e get that not only is our life utterly meaningless, but the fact that our life is utterly meaningless is also utterly meaningless. &e can't e$en get off on being an e)istentialist hiloso her any more: &e can't get meaning out of reaching meaninglessness any more: &e are left with nothing. *ll we ha$e is what the Bu%%hists call 0suchness,0 the resent e) erience of being, right now, whate$er it is, an% nothing more. *ll that is left is 'ust what is in front of us an% within us to e) erience right now. &e face the har% Bu%%hist saying, which is written on the wall of my office4 0#f you un%erstan%, things are as they are. #f you %o not un%erstan%, things are as they are.0 The Le"e o! Here #nd No&hen the anic is gone, we arri$e at the ne)t le$el, which is calle% the 0le$el of Here an% +ow.0 *t this le$el we are resent to being resent. &e are groun%e% in noticing. &e ha$e 0lost our min%s an% come to our senses.0 #f someone else is there, we are resent to being resent to them. The being we are notices the being in them7the being they are. !ur resence to their being salutes their being's resence to us. This is what Bierkegaar% was talking about when he sai%, 0&hen a erson relates to another, an% relates also to that relationshi , they relate thereby to Go%.0 Here, at this le$el, is where lo$e becomes ossible. +ot a belief in lo$e, but lo$e its own self. This le$el is the focus, certainly, of Bu%%hism an% of most s iritual ractice an% sychothera y an% grou rocess work when the lea%ers actually know what they are %oing. The le$el calle% 0Here an% +ow0 has three as ects. Here #nd No- 5ut Sti Wi$hin) !or So'ethin) to Be ie"e In &hen we first enter the here an% now, it has a negati$e (uality. &e still wish we ha% something to belie$e in an% are sorry we %on't. &e yearn for the former hony security of our belief in meaning beyon% the moment. &e are resent to what is going on in the moment but we wish there was more to e) ect than 'ust more moments. Neutr# Fee in) Here #nd No*fter a while, we become com letely neutral about not ha$ing anything to belie$e in. &e are resent. &e %on't feel ba% that all we ha$e is this. #t's not great. &e %on't feel goo% about itH we %on't feel ba% about itH we are com letely neutral. Po$iti"e Fee in) Here #nd NoThen after a while, we still ha$e no ho e an% nothing to belie$e in7 nothing but 0suchness,07an% that is 'ust fine with us. &e begin to feel goo% about it. There is nothing to belie$e in, only the resent e) erience of being ali$e in the moment, which inclu%es e$erything ;all of the ast an% all we can imagine of the future, inclu%ing our own %eath<, an% that is 'ust fine. There are actually si) le$els abo$e this one, but # am only going to
%escribe one more, the ne)t one. #f you want to learn about the other le$els of consciousness, %o our ,ourse in Honesty or fin% out from !scar #cha?o or the *rica training or Gur%'ieff or someone else who knows more about the tra%itional way of teaching this mo%el than # %o anyway. 1y $ersion has been mo%ifie% base% on realClife e) eriences of my frien%s an% me for the ast twentyCfi$e years. The Le"e o! Pure Re#$on The ne)t le$el after the 0le$el of Here an% +ow0 is calle% the 0le$el of Dure 5eason.0 #sn't that something:6 &e'$e gone to all this trouble to esca e from the 'ail of alienation our min%s create, an% the first thing that ha ens after we get groun%e% in our e) erience is we get our min%s back: &hat a %ifference, though. &e now ha$e a min% that is not boun% to the %efense of our ego. &e ha$e this won%erful instrument we worke% so har% to grow, an% now we can use it: #t turns out to be a fantastic instrument for creating: Day%reams become amenable for action: Fantasies become $isions: 8sca ist ho efulness an% %es erate attem ts at reassurance about our selfCworth an% the entanglement of selfCimage romotion an% maintenance become 'ust ossible scenarios to lay with. &e %on't nee% that min% for our i%entity anymore: !ur i%entity is the being we are, in the here an% now: !ur i%entity rece%es our min%: &e take ownershi of our min% an% take it out for a test %ri$e: Hoohah: This is the art where you start to consi%er the life of the creator. *t 0Dure 5eason0 we can think like we ha$e ne$er thought before. &e become truly a free thinker. &e see the ossibility of a lifetime of lay an% ser$ice. *s Bris Bristofferson says, 0Free%om's 'ust another wor% for nothin' left to lose.0 The e) erience of li$ing for a while, groun%e% in your e) erience of the here an% now, lea%s to thinking about that e) erience. -itting in that lace, we come to un%erstan% things we ne$er un%erstoo% before. &e get that the source of our historical being an% the source of our resent being is like a generator that has been constant since it starte%. Getting back to our source is the first ste to transcen%ence. &hen we ay attention to the being we are, we with%raw attention from the %ilemmas of the min%. This is at the heart of Bu%%hism, "oga, @e%antic hiloso hy, ,hristian sal$ation, an% other forms an% ractices of enlightenment. &hen a =en Bu%%hist sits an% looks at a wall fourteen hours a %ay, se$en %ays in a row, he %oes it to be able to sit and look at a wall. To be able to sit an% look at a wall an% 6ust sit an% look at a wall is enlightenment. To sit an% look at the story of your life like you woul% sit an% look at a wall means you ha$e recontacte% your source in the same way as the Bu%%hist in front of the wall. %ummary &ell, this is what we ha$e to go through once we ha$e a min%, to get back to i%entifying with our e) erience in the here an% now as who we are. &e %i% this when we were little but we grew out of it. #f we can remember, it was a lot of fun. +ow we get to %o it again, only with better toys an% more a reciation of what we'$e got: This is our story. *ll of us. The oet an% artist 8. 8. ,ummings, who knew that the source of lo$e is in the here an% now, an% who was abo$e all else a creator, wrote this oem about our mutual 'ourney. *s you rea% it, reten% that 0*nyone0 is a boy an% 0no
one0 is a girl. Dreten% they met an% lo$e% each other an% li$e% for a while an% %ie%. Dreten% they are both each one of us. anyone li$e% in a retty how town ;with u so floating many bells %own< s ring autumn summer winter he sang his %i%n't he %ance% his %i% women an% men ;both little an% small< care% for anyone not at all they sowe% their isn't they rea e% their same sun moon stars rain chil%ren guesse% ;but only a few an% %own they forgot as u they grew autumn winter s ring summer< that noone lo$e% him more by more when by now an% tree by leaf she laughe% his 'oy she crie% his grief bir% by snow an% stir by still anyone's any was all to her someones marrie% their e$eryones laughe% their cryings an% %i% their %ance ;slee wake ho e an% then< they sang their ne$ers they sle t their %ream stars rain sun moon ;an% only the snow can begin to e) lain how chil%ren are a t to forget to remember with u so floating many bells %own< one %ay anyone %ie% # guess ;an% noone stoo e% to kiss his face< busy folk burie% them si%e by si%e little by little an% was by was all by all an% %ee by %ee an% more by more they %ream their slee noone an% anyone earth by a ril wish by s irit an% if by yes. &omen an% men ;both %ong an% %ing< summer autumn winter s ring rea e% their sowing an% went their came sun moon stars rain
:+ Adu t$ Are Nothin) But L#r)e Chi dren Who H#"e For)otten Ho- To P #% This cha ter title is a (uote from the following talk by Tom 5obbins, one of the bestClo$e% no$elists of our time. Tom 5obbins is a creator. He mo%els what a creator %oes an% how he li$es. He is funny, an% able to laugh at ast an% resent trage%y an% the retentiousness of belief systems for all the worl%. He is a mo%el creator who lightens us u before we launch into the har% work of life %esign an% community buil%ing. This attitu%e of lay an% irre$erence for all ast tra%ition is absolutely essential for eo le who begin to make a life of creating. He ga$e this talk to an alternati$e high school gra%uating class in Greys Harbor, &ashington, se$eral years ago. 5obbins is a tremen%ously creati$e author ;(kinny 'egs and &ll, -till 'ife with Woodpecker, &nother $oadside &ttraction, etc.<, an% this was his a%$ice4 # am often aske% whether there is life after %eath. ,ertainly there is. There is also %eath after life, an% life before %eath, an% %eath before life. #t goes on fore$er. #n fact, you alrea%y ha$e. *s for Hea$en an% Hell, they are right here on 8arth, an% it is u to each of you in which one you choose to resi%e. To ut it sim ly Hea$en is li$ing in your ho es an% Hell is li$ing in your fears. #n the tra%itional image, where hell is %own an% hea$en is u , one esca es from hell by %igging a hole in the ceiling. Though in an age of %owners an% u ers %own an% u no longer make sense, it is still ossible to think of in an% out. Think of hell as in an% hea$en as out. To get out of hell you e) en% your soul until it is ushing on all the walls from the insi%e all the way aroun%. #f you 'ust maintain a stea%y ressure, your soul will gra%ually filter out into limitless hea$en beyon%. !ne roblem with the notion of Hea$en an% Hell, howe$er, is that, although they are e)act o osites, an astonishing number of eo le seem to be confuse% about which is which. For e)am le, all o$er the /nite% -tates on this $ery e$ening, commencement s eakers are stan%ing before au%iences not greatly unlike yoursel$es, %escribing Hell as if they were talking about Hea$en. Their s eakers are saying things such as, 0Gra%uating seniors, you ha$e reache% the gol%en threshol% of maturityH it is time now to go out into the worl% an% take u the challenge of life, time to face your hallowe% res onsibility.0 *n% if that isn't one Hell of a note, it's certainly one note of Hell. &hen # hear the wor% 0maturity0 s oken with such solemn awe, # %on't know whether to laugh or get sick. There circulates a common myth that once one becomes an a%ult, one su%%enly an% magically gets it altogether an%, if # may use the $ernacular, %isco$ers, where it's at. Ha ha. The sa%
funny truth is, a%ults are nothing but tall chil%ren who ha$e forgotten how to lay. &hen eo le tell you to 0grow u ,0 they mean a ro)imately the same thing they mean when they tell you to 0shut u .0 By 0shut u 0 they mean 0sto talking,0 by 0grow u 0 they mean 0sto growing.0 Because as long as you kee growing, you kee changing7 an% a erson who is changing is un re%ictable, im ossible to igeonChole an% %ifficult to control. The growing erson is not an easy target for those guys in the slick suits who want you to turn o$er your soul to ,hrist, your heart to *mericaH your butt to -eattle First +ational Bank an% your arm its to new e)tra cris y 5ight Guar%. +o, the growing erson is not an i%eal consumer, which means, in more realistic terms, he or she is not an easy sla$e. &orse yet, if he or she continues to grow, grows far enough an% long enough, he or she may get too close to the uni$ersal mysteries, the nature of which the +a$y an% the Dutch 5eform ,hurch %o not encourage us to on%er. The growing erson is an uncomfortable remin%er of the greater human otential that each of us might reali?e if we ha% the guts. -o society wants you to grow u . To reach a safe, re%ictable lateau an% root there. To mu??le your throb, to lower the $olume on the singing in your bloo%. ,a ers all cut, sky finally larke%, sur rises known4 -8TT.8 D!&+7 settle, like the san% in the bottom of an hour glass, like a coffin si) months in the groun%. *,T "!/5 *G87which means, act their age, an% that has, from the moment they sto e% growing, always been ol%. Growing u is a tra . *s for res onsibility, # am force% to ask, 05es onsibility to what60 To our fellow humans6 Two weeks ago, the news a ers re orte% that a fe%eral court ha% rule% that when a erson's brain sto s functioning, that erson is legally %ea%, e$en though his or her heart may continue to beat. That means that JKS of the o ulation of the 8arth is legally %ea%. 1ust we be res onsible to cor ses6 +o, you ha$e no res onsibility e)ce t to be yourself to the fullest limit of yourself, an% to fin% out who you are. !r, erha s # shoul% say, to remember who you are. Because %ee %own in the secret $el$et of your heart, far beyon% your name an% your a%%ress, each of you knows who you really are. *n% that being who is the true you cannot hel but beha$e graciously to all other beingsCCbecause it is all other beings. "et, we are constantly remin%e% of our90res onsibility.0 5es onsibility means obey or%ers without (uestion, %on't
rock the boat, an% for Go%'s sake, get a 'ob. ;Get a 'ob. -ha na na na<That's the scary one. Get a 'ob. #t is sai% as if it were a holy an% ancient an% in$iolable law of nature. But the fact is although cultural humanity has been on 8arth for some F million years, the $ery conce t of 'obs is only about AKK years ol%. * %ro in the bucket, to coin a hrase. *n% with a%$ent of an electronic cybernetic automate% technology, 'obs are on the way out again. 2obs were 'ust a flash in the an, a assing fancy. There is no realistic relationshi between 'obs an% work7work being %efine% as sim ly one of the more serious as ects of lay any more than there is a realistic relationshi between 'obs an% eating. #t is curious how many eo le belie$e if it weren't for 'obs they coul%n't eat. *s if it weren't for Boeing their 'aws woul%n't chew, if it weren't for the +a$y their bowels woul%n't mo$e an% if it weren't for &eyerhauser that great %estroyer of lants7 lants woul%n't grow. Technocratic assum tions about the i%entity of humanity, society an% nature ha$e war e% our e) erience at its source an% obscure% the basic natural sense of things. 5abbits %on't ha$e 'obs. &hen was the last time you hear% of a rabbit star$ing to %eath6 *h, but we must be res onsible, an% if we are, then we are rewar%e% with the white man's legal e(ui$alent of looting4 a stea%y 'ob, secure income, easy cre%it, free access to all the local em oriums an% a home of your own to ile the merchan%ise in: *n% so what if there is no magic in your life, no won%er, no ama?ement, no layfulness, no eace of min%, no sense of unity with the uni$erse, no giggling 'oy, no burning assion, no %ee un%erstan%ing, no o$erwhelming lo$e6 *t least your ego has the satisfaction of knowing you are a res onsible citi?en. 5es onsibility is a tra . *s a matter of fact, the entire -ystem into which you were born an% which now, u on com letion of high ;high6< school you must erha s face more %irectly, is a -ystem %esigne% to tra you7an% mani ulate you as a coCo erating sla$e, a -ystem %esigne% to stee you in Hell. Hell is li$ing in your fears, an% it is through fear, both subtle an% o$ert, that the -ystem tra s you. Fear of failure, fear of social re'ection, fear of o$erty, fear of unishment, fear of %eath. For e)am le, we once were taught to fear something calle% ,ommunism, an% millions of *mericans ha$e gone to slee each night won%ering if 1ao Tse Tung is un%er their be%. ,on$ersely, on the other si%e of the worl% millions of 5ussians an% ,hinese ha$e gone to slee won%ering if Henry Bissinger is un%er their be%. !ur Totalitarian go$ernment use% the hoa) of the threat of ,ommunism to control an% ensla$e us, 'ust as the totalitarian communist
go$ernments use% the hoa) an% the threat of ca italism to ensla$e their eo le. #t's an e)tremely ol% an% ob$iously effecti$e trick. "ou see, the owers behin% ,ommunism an% the owers behin% ,a italism are $irtually the same eo le. &e might also inclu%e the owers behin% the @atican an% the owers behin% #slam. Their main function is to mystify the o ular min% by creating illusions of omni otence an% omniscience with which to comman% %ocility from their sub'ects. &hile at the same time creating illusions of health, ha iness an% fulfillment for their sub'ects, although it %oes not re(uire much thorough in$estigation to %isco$er that few of the eo les of the worl% are healthy, ha y or fulfille%. But ne$er min%, there are ways out of the tra , ways, as # earlier suggeste%, out of Hell. The only a%$ice # ha$e for you tonight is not to acti$ely resist or fight the -ystem, because acti$e rotest an% resistance merely entangle you in the -ystem. #nstea%, ignore it, walk away from it, turn your backs on it, laugh at it. Don't be outrage%, be outrageous: +e$er be stu i% enough to res ect authority unless that authority first ro$es itself res ectable. *n%, unfortunately, there is no officially sanctione% authority to%ay, from the Dresi%ent of the /nite% -tates %own to the co on the beat, that has earne% the right to your res ect. -o, be your own authority, lea% yoursel$es. .earn the ways an% means of the *ncient yogi masters, Die% Di er, clou% walkers, an% me%icine men. Get in harmony with nature. .isten to the loony rhythms of your bloo%. .ook for beauty an% oetry in e$erything in life. .et there be no moon that %oes not know you, no s ring that %oes not lick you with its tongues. 5efuse to lay it safe, for it is from the wa$ering e%ge of risk that the sweetest honey of free%om %ri s. .i$e %angerously, li$e lo$ingly. *elie"e in magic. +ourish your imagination. /se your hea%, e$en if it means going out of your min%. .earn, like the lemon an% the tomato learne%, the laws of the sun. Become aware, like the 'ungle became aware, of your own erfume. 5emember that life is much too serious to take seriously. 5emember to ne$er forget how to lay. #n times of %oubt an% chaos, it has been the %uty of su erior ersons7artists, oets, scientists, clowns, an% hiloso hers ;certainly not statesmen or military heroes<7to create or%er in the sychic $ibrations of their fellow beings. But in times such as ours, times that are too carefully or%ere%, too strictly organi?e%, too e) ertly manage%, thoroughly rogramme% an% carefully lanne%, times in which too few control too many, it is the %uty of all feeling, thinking, humanitarian
eo le to toss their fa$orite monkey wrenches into the machinery. !n secon% thought, you %o ha$e some res onsibility to your fellow beings. To relie$e the re ression of the human s irit, it is your sacred duty to screw things u royally. .ooking at you tonight, # know you're going to %o 'ust fine. .et me wra this u with a few short (uestions # am often aske%. &ill we be eaten by bugs an% worms6 &e ought to be. &e ha$e eaten, an% we ought to be eaten. This is the 2ustice, an% there is no sto ing it. #f you ha$e your bo%y burne%, star$ing the earth to glorify a memory, you are asking for trouble. Does your soul fly out of your bo%y at the moment you %ie6 +o, this a foolish su erstition. "our soul is constantly flying out of your bo%y in 'ust the same way that energy is constantly flying out of the sun. *t the moment your bo%y %ies, the soul stops flying out. #s 2esus coming back6 "es, all the time. *n% so are you. *ll the souls echo fore$er throughout the uni$erse. # ho e you ha$e a won%erful tri .
Introduction +ow that we ha$e articulate% what a min% is an% how it works, an% the cultural conte)t in which most of us ha$e grown our min%s, an% ha$e icture% a mo%el of how one grows beyon% the limitations of cultural re'u%ice that is a natural art of growing u in a culture, we are rea%y to talk about how we can hel each other create a new kin% of community of in%i$i%uals. This ne)t section is critical to in%i$i%ual eace of min%. #t is also critical to worl% eace. #t is about how we get attache% to belief an% then how we transcen% belief, an% it is not an easy thing to %o. This is about saying goo%bye to the 0home min%0 you grew u in an% 'oining a new community of frien%s who will hel you, as you hel them, let go of the ast. This section consists of four cha ters4 ,ommunity an% ,om assion, 5a%ical Honesty about *nger, #n Draise of the !l% Dara%igm an% ,reating "our .ife. These cha ters are about o enness to the being of other human beings, letting go of anger by e) eriencing it an% getting o$er it, an% letting go of a reciation by e) eriencing it an% getting o$er it. This letting go of resentment an% a reciation for i%eas an% i%eals from the ast is the alternati$e to li$ing in a soa o era create% by emotional attachment to beliefs. #nstea% you li$e a life of creating which is source% by your com assion.
P#rt T-o: Co''unit% #nd Co'&#$$ion
This coaching about letting go is kin% of like going to a funeral. "ou ha$e a more forgi$ing an% com assionate $iew of frien%s once they are %ea%, you forgi$e ol% gru%ges an% a reciate them more for how they li$e%, an% you re$iew your life with them from a new ers ecti$e. #n fact, you look at your own future life with that same new ers ecti$e. This funeral turns out to be your own, an% the more com assionate $iew you e$ol$e is for yourself. *s at a funeral, the frien%s who console you an% whom you console are rea%y to celebrate what life you ha$e left together, an% to a reciate each other more until you %ie. &e all get moti$ate% at funerals to lo$e an% li$e life together in gratitu%e an% with a will to hel each other ha$e a goo% life until we %ie.
;+ Co''unit% And Co'&#$$ion
#n his book 1imi ;Greek for 0# am0<, 8. 8. ,ummings re orts an argument he ha% in 1>G1 with a 5ussian %ramatist, a true belie$er in the communism du 6our. This is the con$ersation that was relaye% through an inter reter. He was ro osing a toast. ,ummings4 0Tell him # %rink9to the in%i$i%ual.0 * ause. Dramatist4 0He says that's nonsense.0 ,ummings4 0Tell him # lo$e nonsense an% # %rink to nonsense.0 Dause. Dramatist4 0He's $ery angry. He says you are afrai%.0 ,ummings4 0Tell him #'m afrai% to be afrai%. Tell him a ma%man name% noone says, that someone is an% anyone isn'tH an% all the belie"ing uni"erse cannot transform anyone who isn't into someone who is.0 !nce we ha$e cease% to i%entify oursel$es with our stories an% consi%er oursel$es to be only the being who notices in the moment, who has stories but is not attache% to them, we nee% a community of other eo le who ha$e achie$e% the same sychological accom lishment. &ithout the su ort of other eo le who ha$e re%isco$ere% their true i%entities as beings who think rather than thinkers who be, we will easily fall back into our ol% acculturate% i%entity an% thought atterns. *s we engage in noticing an% sharing what we notice, we fin% oursel$es reaching out more to each other an% creating a community. Then, we fin% oursel$es creating together as a community. !ut of this e) erience of community, we then become a force that can reC form the institutions of our society. &e learn from e) erience that ser$ice to others is enlightene% selfCinterest. &e %on't li$e in isolationH we li$e in community, an% we begin to see that unless we su ort the %e$elo ment of a new ara%igm that allows for a shift in rimary $alues from 0# think, therefore # am0 to 0# am, therefore # think,0 this lemming race is hea%e% for the cliff. #ompassion Both 8. 8. ,ummings, whose oem, anyone li"ed in a pretty how town, conclu%e% cha ter se$en an% Tom 5obbins, whose talk to a high school
gra%uating class ma%e u most of cha ter eight, were born an% raise% in *merica. They are both in%e en%ent in%i$i%uals. *lthough he was not a reciate% by some of his contem oraries, 8. 8. ,ummings is one of the greatest oets of all time. His transcen%ent ers ecti$e on human life, which reflects the le$el calle% 0 ure reason0 in the -ufi le$els of consciousness, allows us to begin to un%erstan% the groun%lessness of min% an% the groun%e%ness in being. The life of the artist is a life of groun%ing in e) erience an% transcen%ence of the min%. Tom 5obbins is a creati$e genius an% a brilliant writer. &hen he thought seriously about what to say to eo le finishing high school, his recommen%ations were to not sell out to the rat race an% to throw a monkey wrench in the works whene$er ossible. That was the best, most honest a%$ice he coul% gi$e. *rtists ten% to lea$e the rat race. This raises some interesting (uestions, 0&hy %o so many eo le 'oin an% stay in the rat race6 &hy %oes the rat race continue60 &e know that being a wage sla$e, for most eo le, is not all that goo%. &e ha$e all seen how eo le who stay stuck there, tolerating it while their life rece%es to the backgroun%, are not all that ha y or e$en secure. &e know that the eo le at the to , by an% large, %o want more an% more money an% ha$e often %e$elo e% the ca acity to not gi$e a %amn about eo le unless it affects the bottom line. 8$eryone who is not rich an% %oesn't stay ignorant is coming to know this, an% e$eryone who is rich knows that 0security0 is not the answer alrea%y. Howe$er, e$en brilliant insights about who is wrong an% who is right are limiting. &hat we know that limits our ability to ercei$e. #t is articularly the things that we are sure of that limit our ability to notice. 5am Dass sai% he has a articularly gross icture of 8% 1eese an% George Bush an% 5onal% 5eagan laughing ;an%, # imagine, looking articularly greasy, %runk, an% smug< at a meeting in the &hite House. He kee s this icture on his little u'a table where he me%itates, along with the icture of his guru7so he can work on com assion. He actually works at being able to lo$e an% a reciate them for who they are. #f we attem t, from a com assionate ers ecti$e, to figure out why eo le stay in the rat race, some things become clear that are less blameful. Deo le are in the rat race to get money to im ro$e the (uality of their li$es. &ell, money can actually hel im ro$e the (uality of life. &e all know thisH we'$e seen it ha en to our frien%s an% usH we see it in a%$ertisements on tele$ision all the time. "ou can ha$e more fun an% therefore a better life with more money. The tastes an% tem tations we see on T@ make us hungry for a higher (uality of life all the time. ,rane Britton sai%, in The &natomy of a $e"olution, that re$olutions occur, not when the easants are ma)imally o resse% consistently, but the generation right after they are allowe% slight im ro$ements. 5e$olutions occur when things ha$e gotten 'ust noticeably better. For se$eral hun%re% years, generation after generation of serfs ser$e% without com laint, but the generation after they got woo%en floors, they re$olte%. &hen they get a taste of ossibility, they want more an% they become %angerous to the establishment. #n our %ay, the establishment has become goo% at continuing to gi$e us ho e of im ro$ement an% a rate of im ro$ement that is 'ust enough to kee a re$olution from occurring. To a certain %egree, this %oes a ear to be %one with conscious
intention through o inion sam ling, market research, D5, s in %octoring, oll taking, a%$ertising, an% attem ts to influence the me%ia. The re$olution against the rat race, howe$er, has been greatly assiste% by one of the toys we were gi$en to kee the money machine going, the ersonal com uter. The #nternet is our woo%en floor an% they are going to ha$e one hell of a time kee ing us %ocile an% %rugge% an% un%er control an% thoughtC olice% from now on. This re$olution now occurring, calle% the re$olution of consciousness, is sometimes calle% a s iritual re$olution. *t the heart of this re$olution is the growing wis%om that we are systematically artici ating in im ro$ing our li$es materially, an% that is what makes us able to be mani ulate% by the market economy. #t also makes us more an% more aware of the fact that we oursel$es are un%er control by an unfair worl% economy like the risoners of war in the mo$ie The *ridge O"er the $i"er ;wai. #n the mo$ie, some of the risoners who built the bri%ge that allowe% their ca tors to a%$ance the war an% stay in ower became unwilling to blow u the bri%ge because of their ri%e in the bri%ge they ha% built. &e actually take ri%e in our efforts to im ro$e the (uality of our li$es in the rat race by increasing our comfort an% our toys, while at the same time kee ing the enemy in ower an% uncountable numbers of other eo le un%er their economic control, %oome% to li$es of malnourishment an% ina%e(uate shelter without e%ucation an% health care, e$en though the benefits to us of the maintenance of such a system are really (uite limite%. .ike risoners of war who together ha$e built our own rison cam , we take ri%e in what we ha$e built together to sur$i$e un%er the circumstances of im risonment in the min%, in belief systems that are more a%$antageous to the limite% few than to us an% most of the rest of humanity. &e beginning to catch on to our cons iracy with each other to take ri%e in being romote% from 0fiel% sla$e0 to 0house sla$e0 on the ol% lantation, while ignoring the issue of economic sla$ery itself. &e are learning that what is really im ortant to the actual (uality of our li$es is not more stuffH it's more awareness. &e all want the (uality of our li$es im ro$e% because we are constantly e) ose% to the ossibility of im ro$ing our li$es by watching tele$ision, while the (uality of our li$es is constantly %iminishe% by the amount of time we s en% stri$ing an% trying to accom lish li$ing in the fantasies mo%ele% for us on tele$ision. &e %o this an% it is fun, an% when it becomes an a%%iction it takes away from being resent to our e) erience of being here in the real worl% while we are here. The (uality of our li$es is %iminishe% through the schooling we ha$e recei$e% an% the ongoing a%ult e%ucation rograms $ia tele$ision an% the me%ia we are constantly e) ose% to, when the maintenance an% u kee of the semblances of reality become more im ortant to us than the en'oyment of the e) erience of reality itself. &e ha$e also incor orate% into our own min%s, from our u bringing, a constant refrain4 0How'm # %oin'60 0*m # %oin' goo% enough60 0How'm # %oin'60 !ur li$es are %iminishe% by our own min%s im osing some kin% of stan%ar% or conce t or $alue or i%ea of how things 0ought0 to be, or what we 0%eser$e0 com are% to what we ha$e. &e ha$e learne% from our e%ucation an% culture what we shoul% e) ect an% we obe%iently %o so with a $engeance. &e im ose some icture of how it ought to be on e$erything we almost e) erience, thereby
blocking the e) erience. This occurs regar%less of the culture eo le li$e in, but it is articularly re$alent in this information bombar%ment culture we are currently li$ing in. *ll the lonely eo le, all the %es erate eo le, all the gree%y eo le, all the hungry eo le, the rich eo le, the oor eo le, an% most of all the hony eo le are sufferers at their own han%s, or rather at their own min%s. -ome of us now know what the rest of us %es erately nee% to know4 our minds are not to be trusted. !ur min%s themsel$es are merely mo%el makers. *s a s ecies of beings, we are mo%el makers, at once unawares an% wary. 1o%els are %angerous. They sometimes suffocate their buil%er. Deo le become lost in belief an% ne$er return. 1o%els of the min% cut us off from the nourishment of common lace e) erience. The key to the re"olution is to become a conscious maker of models, and thereby transcend the constraint of any single model. This allows for a life of constant creation, which is the best increase in (uality of life a erson coul% %ream u , but it is tough on the establishment. &e can learn to laugh at the beliefs we ha$e been taking too seriously. *s we can un%erstan% the insi%e 'oke of me%itators ;Hey: #'m me%itating: 9 wasn't #.<, we can catch oursel$es in the $ery act of mo$ing from e) erience to category, thereby not being foole% by categories anymore. Improving the 8uality of Life The secret to im ro$ing the (uality of life is to learn how you are %iminishing the (uality of your life with the mo%els you are using an% attem ting to force reality to li$e u to, an% then to sto %oing that. *fter you i%entify with your ercei$ingCwitnessingCbeingCinCyourCbo%y as who you fun%amentally are, an% knowing that your min% is something you own, rather than who you are, you can ha$e e$en more fun using the min% that once %iminishe% your life. "ou can use it then to make mo%els to create an% lay with, an% lay for the rest of your %ays. &hat # ha$e to say, an% the ractices that # teach to hel eo le %istinguish between noticing an% thinking, are of $ital interest an% $ital im ortance to the whole worl%, regar%less of culture an% regar%less of socioeconomic le$el. These i%eas are not in any way e)clusi$e. They are clearly not e)clusi$ely my own. They belong to all of us an% we are lucky to be ali$e in a time in which the ossibility of the o$erthrow of all so$ereigns an% the acknowle%gment of the so$ereignty of being is, for the first time in history, actually ossible. The so$ereignty of the in%i$i%ual is the last ste in the chain of history in which, for thousan%s of years, rulers were so$ereign for life. *fter that re resentati$e go$ernment came into being, an% electe% re resentati$es were so$ereign for limite% terms. +ow we are coming into the age when in%i$i%uals can be so$ereign. Following the $ision of the brilliant former senator from *laska, 1ike Gra$el, we can e$entually arrange for electe% re resentati$es rimarily to carry out the will of the eo le e) resse% in fre(uent referen%a, something we coul% %o right now, using tele$ision, the #nternet, an% JKK numbers. The in%i$i%ual being who is in charge of her min% is a so$ereign being because no min% can control her, inclu%ing her own. *ll min%s ser$e being or this being %oesn't lay. *n integrate% in%i$i%ual has integrity of min% an% being. *n integrate% in%i$i%ual is le% by noticing an% can no longer be mani ulate%.
The Wor. o! St#n e% ,i )r#' # first hear% about a social sychologist name% -tanley 1ilgram when he resente% a re$iew of his research at "ale /ni$ersity %uring a meeting of the *merican Dsychological *ssociation in ,hicago in 1>MA. 1ilgram was gi$en an awar% by one branch of the *ssociation while being censure% by another branch on the same %ay, for the same research. Here is how he got raise% an% in trouble. 1ilgram ha%, se$eral years earlier, rea% a book by Hannah *ren%t about the trial of *%olf 8ichmann, Hitler's infamous secon% in comman% who ha% been res onsible for o$erseeing most of the e)ecutions of si) million 2ews an% other eo le 'u%ge% unacce table by the Thir% 5eich. Hannah *ren%t, who ha% co$ere% the war crimes trial for se$eral *merican news a ers, ointe% out that 8ichmann's %efense was that he shoul% not be hel% ersonally res onsible for a crime against mankin% because he was %oing his %uty in the social system of which he was a art. His lawyers sai% that a court might 'u%ge that the social system was criminal, but not the erson %oing his %uty within that social system. This argument was re'ecte%. 8ichmann's a%'u%icators conclu%e% that he was indi"idually res onsible for the crimes he committe%, regar%less of the social system of which he was a art, an% he was e)ecute%. Hannah *ren%t then raise% another (uestion, which fascinate% -tanley 1ilgram. &as *%olf 8ichmann some unusual social %e$iant, some sa%istic e)ce tion to common humanity, or was he 'ust a bureaucrat6 *ren%t ha% ointe% out that only twice in his entire career ha% he actually witnesse% any e)ecutions, which, he sai%, he foun% 0re ugnant.0 &hat he actually %i% was shuffle a ers in an office an% make hone calls an% gi$e or%ers. !utsi%e of work, he seeme% to ha$e a normal life with family an% frien%s an% associates. &as he normal6 1ilgram %esigne% an e) eriment to see if he coul% somewhat simulate the con%itions in which 8ichmann o erate%. He %rew a ran%om stratifie% sam le of males from the community aroun% "ale. ;#n later $ersions of the original stu%y he inclu%e% females, an% foun% no significant %ifferences between males an% females in the results of the e) eriment.< He ai% each sub'ect, in a%$ance, se$en %ollars for artici ating in an e) eriment that he tol% them was 0a stu%y of the effects of negati$e reinforcement on learning.0 &hen 1ilgram met his sub'ects, he use% a room in a buil%ing on the cam us of "ale /ni$ersity. 1ilgram wore a white lab coat an% intro%uce% himself as Dr. 1ilgram. There were three eo le in the room4 1ilgram an% two sub'ects, both of whom were a arently %rawn from the sam le of sub'ects. Howe$er, only one of them was a true sub'ect an% the secon% was a stooge, a stu%ent actor from the %rama %e artment. 1ilgram sai% to them, 0# am con%ucting a stu%y of the effects of negati$e reinforcement on learning. #n this stu%y, one of you will be the teacher an% one will be the learner. # will fli a coin to see which is which.0 The coin fli was rigge%, so that the true sub'ect from the sam le was always the 0teacher.0 *fter the coin fli , 1ilgram le% both sub'ects into a room containing a $ery large an% im ressi$e electric chair, an% rocee%e% to stra the learner ;the stooge< into the chair an% a ly electro%es to his wrists an% hea%. #n later $ersions of the e) eriment ;the e) eriment was run se$eral times with se$eral grou s of sub'ects before being written u in 'ournals an% re orte% to the
*merican Dsychological *ssociation< Dr. 1ilgram mentione% in assing that the electro%e aste was 0to kee the flesh from being burnt,0 an% the learnerIstooge mentione% in assing that he ha% a 0slight heart con%ition.0 Then the 0teacher0 ;who was the true sub'ect< was le% to a room with a oneCway mirror so that he coul% see the erson in the electric chair but the erson coul% not see him. He was seate% in front of a anel of thirty switches, which were labele% clearly in 1AC$olt increments from 1A $olts to 4AK $olts. *bo$e the switches were $erbal labels in gra%ations of %egree4 0shock,0 0%angerous shock,0 0se$erely %angerous shock,0 an% two ste s before the last switch was an ambiguous but ominous 0RRRR.0 1ilgram sai%, 0# am going to ro'ect a list of wor%s on the wall in front of the erson in the chair. He will be gi$en se$eral re etitions of the wor% list to learn it. &hen he sees a wor% a ear on the wall, his task will be to name the ne)t wor% from the list before it is ro'ecte%, base% on ha$ing memori?e% the list. #f he makes a mistake, # want you to a%minister an electric shock, an% # woul% like you to increase the $oltage of this shock in fifteenC$olt increments. Do you un%erstan% the instructions60 &hen the 0teacher0 fully un%erstoo% the instructions, the e) eriment began. The stooge in the chair was only recei$ing a mil% cue shock e$ery time a switch was thrown, but the 0teacher0 %i%n't know that. *s the 0learner0 ma%e mistakes an% was shocke%, he reacte% more an% more %ramatically. *t first he 'ust 'um e% a little. *s the shocks rogresse% he began 'um ing an% yelling out. Then he starte% screaming when he was shocke%. Then he began screaming an% saying he wante% to sto . Then he sai%, 0-to this: # want out: &hoe$er is %oing this sto : # want to (uit:0 Then as the $oltage got closer to the en%, two ste s before the en%, the 0learner0 screame%, con$ulse%, an% colla se% com letely. &hen the ne)t wor% a eare% an% there was no res onse, 1ilgram sai%, 0&e'll ha$e to count that an errorH shock him again.0 Then one more time, no res onse, 0That's an errorH shock him again.0 #n or%er to get to the en% of the row of switches the teacher ha% to shock the learner two more times while he was a arently com letely 0unconscious.0 Drior to actually con%ucting the stu%y, 1ilgram ha% gi$en a (uestionnaire to a similar ran%om stratifie% sam le of eo le from the community aroun% "ale in which he aske% if the res on%ents 0woul% e$er ur osely inflict ain on a fellow human being, regar%less of the social circumstances.0 !$er ninetyCtwo ercent sai% that they woul% not. &hen he actually ran the e) eriment, si!ty< eight percent of the people went all the way to the top. The 0teachers0 sweate% e)cessi$elyH some crie%H some went into hysterical laughter. 1any, e$en though %ebriefe% an% tol% that it was an act, re orte% when inter$iewe% two weeks later that they ha% nightmares about what they ha% %one. The sub'ects ob$iously ha% a $ery har% time %oing what they %i%, but ne$ertheless %i% it. They resiste%, they felt ba% about it, they felt guilty, but they %i% what they were tol%. 1ilgram ha% written %own, in a%$ance, four statements he coul% make in res onse to ob'ections on the art of the 0teacher07the strongest one being4 0The e) eriment must go on.0 .ater, 1ilgram ointe% out that this e) eriment was not really fair to *%olf 8ichmann because 8ichmann ha% many colleagues who coo erate% in his bureaucracy. -o 1ilgram mo%ifie% his e) eriment by a%%ing one more stooge, who was a erson in the room with the teacher who ulle% %own a master switch
to 0turn on the electricity0 each time an error was ma%e. &hen the res onsibility or blame coul% be share% with 'ust one other erson in this way, ninety<two percent of the sub6ects went all the way to the top. 1ilgram's resentation was calle% 0* -tu%y in the .egitimation of 8$il0 an% he conclu%e% about the eo le in his sam le, an% by generali?ation, the eo le in the culture from which his sam le ha% come4 0#n%i$i%uals will generally go against their own moral inclinations in or%er to coo erate with authority.0 +o subCgrou in the sam le %iffere% in a statistically significant way from the norm of the whole o ulation. &omen %i% not %iffer from men, an% grou ings by ethnic origin, religious orientation, age, an% so on were not significantly %ifferent. !ne grou a roache% statistical significance7,atholics7an% that %ifference was in the %irection of more coo eration with authority rather than less. !ne of the things # like about this stu%y is that none of us knows how we woul% ha$e fare%. &e woul% all like to think that we woul% ha$e been in the eight ercent who sai% that they woul% not go on. There were some few sub'ects who not only (uit but rocee%e% to go talk to the ro$ost at "ale an% to 1ilgram %eman%ing that he sto . &e woul% all like to think we woul% ha$e been one of them. But ob$iously, all of us coul%n't ha$e been in the eight ercent. 1ost of us woul% ha$e coo erate% an% felt ba% about it but coo erate% ne$ertheless. # ha$e been fascinate% with this work for thirtyCtwo years. # use% to re ort on 1ilgram's work in s eeches # ma%e against the war in @ietnam. 1uch of my work as a grou lea%er an% sychothera ist has been an attem t to %isco$er an% reinforce the kin% of in%e en%ent in%i$i%uality that might allow for those statistics to change. # think, to %emonstrate in%e en%ence in the circumstance of that e) eriment, it was necessary for in%i$i%uals to be able to act accor%ing to their com assionCtheir i%entification as one being to another with the erson in the electric chair. Their com assion ma%e them 0feel ba%0 about what they %i%, but it was not enough to o$errule their training in obe%ience to authority. Their com assion woul% ha$e to ha$e been stronger than their nee% to obey the rofessor from "ale in the white lab coat. Their sense of in%i$i%ual res onsibility an% the courage to act u on it woul% ha$e to be stronger than their years of training from school an% church an% family to ac(uiesce to authority. The integrity of their own feelings woul% ha$e ha% to be more owerful in %etermining their actions than their moral obligation to not challenge the constitute% authority or rock the boat of the e)isting ower structure. 8ichmann was 'ust an a$erage guy. *$erage guys are 'ust 8ichmanns. -o are a$erage gals. 1ost of us woul% obey Hitler like most %i% in +a?i Germany. 1ost of us still are obeying some (uestionably constitute% authority instea% of acting on our own authority most of the time. 1ost of us ha$e line% u to go to recess an% line% u to come back into the classroom an% line% u to go to lunch an% line% u to come back from lunch an% sat in rows an% not talke% an% waite% in lines an% beha$e% an% waite% for the bell to ring an% are still %oing that. 1ost of us o erate from mo%els of what we shoul% an% shoul% not %o rather than what we feel, what we refer, what we feel calle% forth to %o base% on our em athetic connections with other human beings. *n% for the most art, we ha$e organi?e%
our worl% to kee it that way. *s the -ufis say, ninetyCeight er cent of humanity s en%s ninetyCeight er cent of their time at the le$el of belief. Honorin) Bein) /se your own imaginationH %on't you think it $ery likely that society woul% be (uite %ifferent if organi?e% aroun% $alues that honor being more than obe%ience to authority6 &hat changes might occur in how we o erate together if we ha% a worl% organi?e% aroun% honoring the being of others rather than mere or%er6 &hat if we $alue% chil% rearing more than contracts, for e)am le6 &e might set a ma)imum of T1K an hour for lawyers because legal work is not all that im ortant, an% a minimum of TGKK an hour for chil% care workers because encouraging chil%ren to remain more in touch with being by being lo$e% an% honore% by another bigger being is so much more im ortant than the work of lawyers. ,hil% care workers an% arents an% teachers, who are more in touch with chil%ren because of their lo$e of the being of young beings, woul% be getting lawyers' fees, an% lawyers woul% generally be getting the minimum wage. The worl% woul% be (uite a %ifferent lace if we $alue% com assion more than obe%ience an% or%er, an% we ut our money where our $alues were. %uffering is Attachment to +elief -uffering comes from attachment to beliefs to such a %egree that the erson is trying to con$ince himself an% others that the beliefs are reality. &hat is true about all the successful but miserable eo le # ha$e worke% with for years who are functional in a sick system7the %e ression an% an)iety an% stress that ha ens to these folks on an in%i$i%ual basis7is true on the macrocosmic le$el for whole grou s of eo le. &hole societies suffer in the same way an% for the same reasons in%i$i%uals within them suffer. 'earning the distinction between belief and e!periential reality relie"es suffering for indi"iduals and societies. This %istinction is now becoming a art of the ublic %ialogue between all the eo les of the worl%. This %istinction is the woo%en floor that lets the easants know a better life is ossible. This is the source of the re$olution of consciousness. This is what ra%ical honesty is about. &hen enough of us ha$e share% honestly, we %isco$erIin$ent the ossibility of $aluing our own min%s as instruments of creation rather than %oCloo s of selfCworshi or sacre% institutional maintenance. That is a re$olutionary i%ea. That terrifies the establishe% min%, as well as the establishment. The ractical im lications of this $iew for organi7ations is, as all current lea%ing e%ge management consultation firms are saying, that nothing lasts as long as it use% to. *ll mo%ern cor orations are now %isco$ering that running a cor oration re(uires fre(uent restructuring. Fre(uent restructuring re(uires fre(uent reCnoticing, an% skills %e$elo e% in noticing by em loyees at all le$els benefit e$eryone an% tremen%ously affect the bottom line. Dersonal %e$elo ment of skills in noticing for em loyees at all le$els is more im ortant e$en than their belief in or a%herence to the cor orate culture. ,or orations are one form of human organi?ation. Human organi?ations thri$e when the humans in them thri$e. Work and The +uman (pirit by 2ohn -cherer an% all of the works of &ill -chut? an% the books by Tom Deters an% many others %eal with the fun%amental elements of ra%ical honesty as it ertains to cor orate life. &hat businesses of all si?es must now a%o t as a fun%amental learning with regar% to management
is that all mo%els are relati$e, an% that all the relati$e mo%els in the worl% are less im ortant than skills in noticing and grounding in e!perience of the eo le who work there. The rele$ance of these i%eas to educational institutions is that schools, as we ha$e known them from kin%ergarten through the Dh.D. le$el, are now obsolete. .earning is now more $aluable than schooling. &hat skill you ha$e in learning an% in continuing to learn with enthusiasm is base% on being groun%e% in your e) erience, rather than in forcing yourself on with beliefs in erfectionism. -u ort of home schooling an% in%i$i%uali?e% instruction is where the future lies. # ha$e a whole lot more to say about this in the ne)t book am writing, $adical ,arenting, but that's all #'m saying here. The ractical im lications for psychotherapy are outline% in $adical +onesty an% are currently making it a best seller that is ublishe% in se$en languages. # s eak about these i%eas an% their im lications to in%i$i%uals, college an% uni$ersity grou s, national organi?ations, cor orations, businesses, associations, organi?ational management grou s, futurists, an% religious institutions. 8$eryone alrea%y seems to un%erstan% about the relati$ity of mo%els, but not to ha$e thought %ee ly about the im lications for their own ersonally hel% beliefs. &e nee% to su ort each other in taking this $ery ersonally. # learne% from clients in my sychothera y ractice that lying is the primary source of most an)iety an% most %e ression. .ying is also the root cause of most sychosomatic %isor%ers. !ften, when our %ecisions are %ictate% by our obligations an% beliefs rather than by our references, we li$e stra e% to our asts an% ho eful about our futuresH the kin% of ho efulness that attem ts to ut a goo% face on %es air7yet another retense. The stress of constantly reten%ing an% a$oi%ing being foun% out, an% the wear an% tear of erennially inauthentic relationshi s is an ongoing source of misery, conflict, ill health, an% %eath. Then we %isco$ere% that ra%ical honesty is the necessary first ste to esca ing the 'ail of retense. &hen # learne%, along with my frien%s an% clients, through telling the truth when we coul% muster the courage to %o so, that things %i%n't turn out as ba% as our min%s ha% re%icte%, we starte% %oing more of it. *fter we got goo%, through ractice, at li$ing out lou% an% letting the chi s fall where they may, we then ha% the free%om to create what we wante% in our li$es accor%ing to our own references, as indi"iduals together in community, rather than our imagine% role re(uirements an% obligations. .i$ing this way is so much fun, we 'ust ha% to in$ite other eo le into it. -o we starte% some worksho s, # wrote a book about it, an% now #'m writing another one base% on what we ha$e learne% from the worksho s. The mission of the worksho s an% of this book is to train an% su ort in%i$i%uals to tell an% hear the truth an% to be owerful creators of their li$es. The transition from $ictim to creator of life as an artist is the focus of this work an% it turns out a whole lot of eo le are intereste% in that. &hen # wrote $adical +onesty, # foun% thousan%s of frien%s who resonate% with these i%eas about free%om. #n the first book, # sai% that telling the truth was not for any high moral ur oseH it is merely for ractical ur oses of fun%amentally interru ting the min%. # sai%4
0+othing interru ts the min% like telling the truth.0 0&e are each in%i$i%ually res onsible for cutting oursel$es off from the nourishment of common lace e) erience by substituting our inter retations of reality for reality.0 0* min% is a terrible thing. &aste it.0 0Telling the truth, after hi%ing out for a long time, reo ens ol% woun%s that %i%n't heal ro erly. #t often hurts a lot. #t takes guts. #t isn't easy. #t is better than the alternati$e.0 0Deo le belie$e immeasurable loa%s of cra for the illusion of security. &e belie$e security comes from rinci les an% from controlling oursel$es an% other eo le. But security %oesn't e)ist. The only security we ha$e is in our ability to fly by the seat of our ants.0 0# belie$e that fascination with the game of creation is sufficientH that, in fact, it's the only game in town.0 !ne thing le% to another, an% now all my frien%s an% # see oursel$es caught u in the e)tremely e)citing re$olution of consciousness. +ow on the e$e of the twentyCfirst century, we are all %isco$ering together that, no matter where we li$e or what we belie$e, when we are %ri$en by our obligations7all the things we 0shoul%0 %o7our obligations e) an% an% our li$es s ee% u , an% our min%s take o$er our li$es, %raining us rather than ins iring us. &e are increasingly artici ating in a con$ersation about the ossibility of li$ing our li$es accor%ing to our references, not our 0shoul%s,0 the ossibility of being an artist creating a $ibrant life, rather than a $ictim. &e who know this are becoming a mo$ement. The key to the success of our mo$ement is transcen%ing that sense of obligation to li$e u to culturally ingraine% e) ectations that is the source of all anger. Being ma% an% getting o$er it is critical to the ability to create a new community base% on noticing an% com assion. The ability to %o this not only en%s wars, it starts eace. -o it turns out, the key to in%i$i%uality, integrity, an% in%i$i%ual free%om has something to %o with forgi$eness, which in$ol$es getting o$er anger. That is %one in the ublic %omain, in community, an% it is the focus of the ne)t cha ter an% it is the athway to free%om for in%i$i%uals an% the key to free societies. %t is the way the statistics from (tanley 4ilgram's e!periments get changed. .earning forgi$eness, as an in%i$i%ual skill, by ractice in getting o$er anger in the conte)t of a community of frien%s, is an absolutely necessary rere(uisite to creating a worl% that works for e$eryone. To be an in%i$i%ual who o erates in%e en%ently of authority an% accor%ing to com assion, you nee% to learn the fun%amental skills of getting ma% an% getting o$er it. &hat comes ne)t is har% work an% scary. #t is also the work that frees you to be an in%i$i%ual. <+ R#dic# Hone$t% A5out An)er The main thing that kee s us attache% to beliefs at lower le$els of consciousness is our inability to forgi$e7which is our inability to get o$er belief about how things should or shouldn't be7which is the source of anger. -o let's learn about anger. #f cultural transcen%ence is necessary to contact reality, an% culture resi%es in the min%s of in%i$i%uals, an% other artici ants in the culture
%isagree with any change because of attachment to the cultural $alues they ha$e learne%, both internal an% e!ternal conflict are ine$itable. This means anger is ine$itable. *nger cannot be a$oi%e%H it has to be gone through an% gotten o$er. Getting o$er being ma%, or fin%ing the ca acity for forgi$eness, is absolutely necessary for both in%i$i%ual ersonal growth an% cultural change. -o one of the most critical (uestions to be answere% for any erson willing to grow beyon% their cultural ro$incialism is4 How %o you get o$er being ma%6 Not C#th#r$i$1 8u$t Fu Di$c o$ure 5a%ical honesty is a owerful rocess by which eo le can make corrections in the min%'s %istorte% an% only artly conscious ma of the worl%. By sharing secret memories, thoughts, an% mo%els7by utting into the ublic %omain among frien%s what ha% been hi%%en an% %efen%e%7 we ha$e a chance to break free of the ara%igm of limiting beliefs that we %e$elo e% in the ast. These are the beliefs to which we are emotionally attache%H the ones our min%s %efen% as though we oursel$es are threatene%. The ara%igms that allowe% us to sur$i$e as chil%ren within the family within the culture must be transcen%e% so we can thri$e as a%ults. &e %o not gi$e u attachments without a lot of ractice. ,entral to that ractice is the rocess of getting ma% an% getting o$er it. There is great free%om in releasing the hea$y loa% of retense7an% the uni(uely %istorte% $iew of life ma%e necessary by the $icissitu%es of how we were raise%. +ot only is there free%om, but s ace is create% for true intimacy with current frien%s an% lo$ers, through forgi$eness of begru%ge% caregi$ers from the ast. To %o that, we ha$e to get ma% at them an% get o$er it by going through it with them, if they are ali$e, or with the assistance of a skillful thera ist or trainer if they are %ea%. Getting free of the tyranny of the human min% is the first ste in the rocess of becoming a creator. ,reators change cultures an% families from %ysfunctional to functional. This cha ter focuses on honesty about anger because it is the linch in to learning to be free from %omination by the min%. Free%om from %omination by the min% for in%i$i%uals an% then families an% then small communities an% then larger communities is the key to creating a new functional culture. De$elo ing skill in %etachment through learning how to get o$er anger that comes from attachment an% conse(uently loosening the attachment is as critical to social change as it is to ersonal growth. *etting ver +eing Mad There is a s ecific technology for getting o$er being ma%. Getting o$er being ma% is calle% forgi$eness. #t is not easy to %o. 8ssentially you ha"e to get mad in the presence of the person you are mad at, be present to your e!perience in your body while being mad, be specific and not abstract about what you are mad about, and stay in touch with the e!perience and the person and the con"ersation until you are not mad anymore. !ur min%s, as well as a lot of e) erts, tell us to a$oi% this at all costs. 1ost of us, most of the time, woul% rather 'ust stay ma% an% think about it
an% in$ent categories full of negati$e 'u%gment for the rotten 'erks who ma%e us ma% an% look for further roof that we are right an% they are wrong. #t's more fun an% it's easier to %o. /nfortunately, the 0easy0 way is the one most %amaging to oursel$es an% others an% it %oesn't work. The only way to get o$er the %e ression an% an)iety an% fury an% hysical illness cause% by this way of a$oi%ance is to get a rescri tion from sychiatrists or other hysicians for %rugs that hel you a$oi% feelings. The %rug com anies are always there to ser$e, with lots of $ariety an% lenty of su ort an% lots of goo% a%$ice an% tons of alternati$e 0mother's little hel ers.0 #f that %oesn't work, illegal ainkillers of $arious kin%s are easily obtaine%. The ol% ara%igm is owerful in kee ing itself in charge an% the o iates for the eo le are lentiful. Furthermore, there is lots of a%$ice by e) erts who will be concerne% for your welfare an% willing to fi) your u set with many congenial ol% ara%igm e) lanations an% things you can %o to a$oi% %ealing with your anger. "ou ha$e hear% of or trie% many of these ways, # am sure. But let me 'ust re$iew a few of the hony solutions to anger. #f anyone has e$er tol% you that you can forgi$e someone by 'ust %eci%ing to forgi$e them, that erson was wrong. #f you belie$e you can forgi$e someone by 'ust %eci%ing to, you're sa%ly mistaken an% you ha$e foole% yourself out of getting o$er your anger. #f you think you can forgi$e someone you are ma% at by raying, thinking, writing letters an% sen%ing them, writing letters an% not sen%ing them, %oing 0thera y,0 talking to someone else about it, 0acting out0 in a rotecti$e en$ironment, beating illows, shouting at other folks, becoming 0s iritual0 or 0attaining enlightenment0 or any of the other metho%s of a$oi%ance of faceCtoCface forgi$eness that millions of min%s ha$e %eri$e% as a way to a$oi% the work of forgi$eness an% the e) erience of forgi$eness, you are likewise, like all of them, still %elusional an% still angry. -eriously, the way you get o$er being so serious about what you are angry about is to face it an% face the erson you are ma% at if they are still on this earth an% work through it until it gets funny. #f the erson is %ea%, there are other ways to forgi$e them without %igging them u , but those ways %on't work if you are engage% in a cons iracy with your thera ist to a$oi% contact an% honest sharing of your anger with the li$ing eo le you are ma% at. Bein) S&eci!ic #nd 3ettin) F#ce2to2F#ce A5out Re$ent'ent$ &e ha$e been taught all our li$es to abstract from our e) erience to be able to take control of the e) erience. This absolutely %oes not work when you are ma%. &hen you abstract from your e) erience when you are ma%, you %is lace your anger by re%irecting it to the emotional su ort of an i%ea that makes you right an% the other erson wrong. #f you want to get o$er being ma%, you ha$e to come back %own from the rinci le, to the e) erience of being ma%7away from the general rinci le an% in the %irection of the s ecific e$ents that rece%e% the abstraction. "ou ha$e to say to the erson's face, what the erson did or said that ma%e you ma%. Forget about e) laining why. "ou %on't know
why, anyway. Dro the e) lanation. 2ust resent them for what they %i% an% %on't 'ustify anything. "ou are etty. &e all are. "ou are cra?y. &e all are. Go ahea% an% be etty an% cra?y an% %o it out lou% an% magnify the e) erience. Getting through the e) erience of anger by getting into the e) erience of anger is accom lishe% with a simultaneity of contact with the other erson an% one's own e) erience in the bo%y at the moment of s eaking the resentment. -taying resent with the erson you resent an% to the sensations in your bo%y that you associate with resentment, while being com letely willing to e) erience the resentment an% communicating it contactfully to the erson being resente%, results in the resentment going away. "ou use the hrase, 0# resent you for90 an% name the s ecific beha$ior committe% or wor%s sai% ;an% erha s tone of $oice use%< by the erson, while looking the erson in the eye an% s eaking %irectly to them in a $oice with itch an% $olume a ro riate to the %egree of resentment. #n this moment, you are %escribing something sim le that occurre% that both of you can remember ;rather than an abstract inter retation of right or wrong or goo% or e$il.< This allows you to stay focuse% on your sensate e) erience rather than aying attention to your own e) lanation. "our e) lanation is 'ust your min%'s aranoi% way of trying to ensure its sur$i$al. *s satisfying as righteousness is, we ha$e to gi$e it u . &e might ha$e to lay it u in the rocess of gi$ing it u . -o if you want to go on a righteous tira%e, go on it, but %on't (uit there. Bee going until you get s ecific about e)actly what got you so %amne% ma%. &e ha$e to %o this to get to where we can lay with each other again. &e %o this to get o$er taking our $iolate% e) ectations too seriously. &e %o this to be more owerful in creating together a life of lay an% ser$ice for each other. Get ma% an% get o$er it. Forgi$e an% go on an% create. This rocess is critical to transcen%ence of belief. The following ma'or e)cer ts from the cha ter on *nger from $adical +onesty %escribe the metho%ology of forgi$eness. Ho- to De# -ith An)er *uthor an% teacher an% life e) erimenter -am Been says, 0&e human beings are +omo +ostilus, the hostile s ecies, the enemyCmaking animal. &e are %ri$en to fabricate an enemy as a sca egoat to bear the bur%en of our %enie% enmity.0 The way we can own what we are attem ting to %isown by blaming an% categori?ing an% attacking others is to %o it out lou% in front of them an% get o$er it. * famous war story tells of a latoon of sol%iers who ha% been fighting together as a unit for some time. !ne night, an enemy sol%ier lobbe% a grena%e into their mi%st. For a few secon%s e$eryone fro?e. -u%%enly, a ri$ate %o$e on the grena%e with his helmet. #t %etonate% un%er him. The man was %estroye%, but the other men were sa$e% by his heroism. !ne outstan%ing characteristic of human beings is that they are sometimes willing to sacrifice their li$es to sa$e others. -uch acts of courage are honore%, as they shoul% be, as the highest e) ression of lo$e. But one of the greatest trage%ies ossible is great courage waste%. 1any of us %eal with anger in much the same way as the ri$ate in the
story %eals with the grena%e. &e consi%er anger a lifeCthreatening e) erience. *nger wells u in us, seemingly from out of nowhere, an% we imagine it will in'ure e$eryone we lo$e if we let it go off. &ithout e$en thinking, we smother the anger the way the ri$ate smothere% the grena%e. &e sacrifice oursel$es to rotect our frien%s an% family. &hat makes meaningless sacrifices look like heroism is ignorance. History is full of itiful, won%erful, athetic heroes who sacrifice% their li$es to sa$e those they lo$e% from some imagine% threat that seeme% real at the time but turne% out not to be. The trage%y of the useless sacrifice of life has been aroun% for as long as human beings ha$e been aroun% an% will remain central to the %efinition of humanity until we learn to create oursel$es %ifferently. !ur greatest heroism, our willingness to surren%er life itself for our lo$e% ones, an% our greatest trage%y, the mistaken an% useless sacrifice of our own an% others' li$es for meaningless causes, are central to the tragic 'oke we are. +owhere is the waste of courage an% lo$e better %emonstrate% than in e$ery%ay cases of the unsung heroes of anger. #n e$ery case, the hero is a fool. His courage is waste%. The hero's fear of the %e$astating effect of anger is entirely unrealistic. He or she o$erestimates the %estructi$e ower of anger an% feels that it must be controlle% e$en if it means sacrificing his or her life. &hat is e$en worse is that the oor fool %ies o$er an% o$er again, a little iece at a time. *nger is not a grena%e. *nger is merely an e) erience, ma%e u of sensations. 1any of us consi%er oursel$es to be heroes an% heroines when we are 'ust %amne% fools. !nly the eo le who li$e with such heroic fools seem to recogni?e them for what they are. -uch recognition e)acerbates the roblem, for nothing makes your a$erage fool more angry than ha$ing to li$e with a useless ingrate who %oesn't a reciate the heroic sacrifices that ha$e been ma%e for his or her benefit. To make things worse, the 0useless ingrate0 usually sees himself or herself as another una reciate% hero, sacrificing selfCe) ression for the health of the relationshi . *s we accumulate resentment for not being a reciate% for sacrificing our li$es to rotect others, our acts of lo$e an% courage become oisone% memories. The erson who lo$e% you an% whom you use% to lo$e becomes the biggest ain of your life. FiftyCthree ercent of eo le who get marrie% in the /nite% -tates get %i$orce%. That is not the worst of it. The worst is, of the fortyCse$en ercent remaining, most of those relationshi s are angry eo le tolerating each other an% su ressing hostility. They are miserable eo le who are more terrifie% of being alone than of li$ing in the misery they know an% are familiar with. The contrast between selfC erce tion an% erce tion by others stan%s out clearly in my work with cou les an% families, in which # am ri$y to the ongoing arguments between martyrCheroes an% heroCmartyrs. Deo le really get ma% when they're resented for withhol%ing anger7something for which they feel they should be appreciated. But, contrary to o ular belief, eo le always resent being withhel% from an% lie% to, e$en if it was %one for their own rotection. &ithhel% anger %estroys relationshi s by sucking the ali$eness out of them. For ali$eness to be restore%, both to the relationshi s an% the in%i$i%ual, anger must be e) resse% an% fully e) erience%. &hen you e) erience an e) erience, it goes away. &hen you resist e) eriencing an e) erience, it ersists. #t stays an%
takes new form an% elaborates itself an% fuels the collection of further e$i%ence of the malice an% ba%ness of the sca egoat who ma%e you ma% in the first lace. Direct #nd Indirect E@&re$$ion$ o! An)er How %oes a erson in the habit of su ressing anger learn to e) ress it6 8) ressing anger takes ractice an% is a rocess that im ro$es o$er time. The way anger is e) resse% has e$erything to %o with the outcome of an argument. &hen anger is e) resse% in such a way that both eo le are fully resent to the e) erience, the anger e$entually goes away, an% the eo le ha$e a new o ening in their relationshi . *nger is uni$ersal, but metho%s of e) ression $ary. The continuum of e) ression ranges from mur%er to total su ression an% co$erCu . The continuum can be %i$i%e% into two arts, in%irect e) ression an% %irect e) ression. *ll in%irect forms of e) ressing anger are %ysfunctional, sick an% stu i%. 1any %irect forms fail as well. 1any eo le ha$e trie% to e) ress anger %irectly at one time or another but ha$e gi$en u because, as some ha$e sai%, 0#t only seems to make things worse.0 #t %oes make things worse for a short time, but much better o$er the long run. &hen eo le %on't get goo% results from the %irect e) ression of anger, the o%%s are the anger wasn't com letely e) resse%. Drobably one or both eo le were ma%, but trying to be %ecent an% fair at the same time. &e all know an% can sym athi?e with the %ilemma. Trying to be fair an% ma% at the same time turns out to be ri%iculous an% fee%s the fury. Trying to be constructi$e while wanting to %estroy is a real %ilemma, a %i$ision of energy between o osing goals, an% confusing. Di$i%e% e) ression %oesn't work. This self<opposition with regard to e!pressing anger is what perpetuates anger. To e) ress anger fully, we must gi$e u most of our constraints on it. &e must inhibit killing an% hysical $iolence. But we must be willing to be angry rather than %ecent an% fair, because angry, rather than %ecent an% fair, is what we resently are. *fter we are angry, we may be %ecent an% fair, but we will ne$er be authentically angry or authentically fair while we are struggling to be both at once. An)er i$ Uni"er$# % Hu'#nG W#%$ o! H#nd in) An)er Are Cu tur# % D#ried #t is human to feel angry, 'ust as it is human to feel lo$e, %esire, or fear. *nger is not in itself a roblem. ,hil%ren erio%ically get ma%, raise hell, an% get o$er it. -ometimes they win an% get their way an% sometimes they lose, but they usually get o$er it. *%ults, howe$er, ersist in using learned ways of handling anger that don't work. This attachment to fruitless strategies is the roblem, more than the anger itself. *nger is boun% to ha en to all human beings from being little, less strong, an% %e en%ent on others for a long, long, time. #t seems like it takes fore$er to get big. *ll chil%ren get ma% in all cultures. -ome babies are fussier than others to start with, but all babies are in for %isa ointment as they grow ol%er. The ol%er they grow, the more %isa ointments they e) erience. *n% they rotest angrily. Darental res onse to these early instances of rotest is the start of longCterm cultural con%itioning. -ome cultures are angrier than others. -ome cultures %o a oorer 'ob of res on%ing to natural anger than others. *s soon as we become ca able of ha$ing e) ectations, we become
ca able of rotesting not ha$ing them met. *s +orman !. Brown oints out in 'ife &gainst /eath, if being neurotic is rotesting against the worl% being as it is, neurosis is built in to growing u . The %efinition of a neurotic is someone who incessantly %eman%s, in a rigi% styli?e% form, that the worl% be other than it is. &e are all neurotic from time to time. &e earn the label only through ersistence o$er time. #f someone gets %runk a few times she hasn't yet (ualifie% as an alcoholic, but if she ersists she earns the right to the category. !n numerous occasions, an% at all stages of growing u , all of us beha$e neurotically. &hether we a%o t the neurotic rotest as a stan% in life, as an incessant theme, an% as a way of being, %e en%s on a lot of factors, the most im ortant of which is how we han%le the anger that comes with %isa ointe% e) ectations. #n our culture, when we are ol%er we still e) erience anger, but we no longer ermit oursel$es to be angry an% to e) ress anger at the same time. Therefore, we %on't get o$er it as (uickly as we %i% when we were younger. &e learn, in the course of growing u , after getting unishe% for anger an% losing a few battles, that it is smarter to hi%e our anger than to e) ress it. &e are raise% to belie$e that we shoul% get angry only at certain times, at certain eo le, an% only if we are 0right.0 Because we all get angry all the time, at the wrong eo le, at the wrong times, an% for the wrong reasons, we learn early in life that the way to %eal with this unwante% anger is to kee it hi%%en. The best thing to %o with anger, we are taught, is to lie about it. 1aybe if we act like it isn't there, it will go away. 1aybe we can 'ust 0get o$er it.0 /nfortunately, a$oi%ance %oesn't work. &e cannot a$oi% unwante% e) eriences7like se)ual e)citement an% anger7at the wrong times towar% the wrong eo le 'ust by thinking we shoul%n't be ha$ing them. Denial, the most rimiti$e an% least effecti$e %efense against these feelings, stubbornly ersists e$en though it ne$er works. &hen we %eny anger, the way we ercei$e the worl% an% the way we concei$e of the eo le in it become %istorte%. The rest of our li$es are colore% by the %istorte% erce tion of the worl% resulting from the stock ile of %enie% an% withhel% anger. The little nests of morality tales about anger that make u our 2u%eoC ,hristianCGreek culture, that our chil%ren learn from fairy tales an% schooling, %on't hel them to han%le anger. 5ather, they hel them to be inauthentic, neurotic, %ece ti$e, alienate%, lying, miserable eo le. Displacement &hen anger is not e) resse% %irectly, it is e) resse% in%irectly. -o it gets e) resse% but not e) erience%. #f anger is not e!pressed %irectly, it is not e!perienced %irectly. /nless you e) erience anger in the bo%y an% acknowle%ge the e) erience, the anger %oes not com lete itself7%oes not %ischarge, subsi%e, an% go away. &hen anger is e) resse% in%irectly, in ways that are calculate% to a$oi% the e) erience of anger, anger gets store% u rather than %issi ating. The e) erience of anger is con$erte% to thoughts about the resente% erson7'u%gments, com laints, conclusions, an% imaginary con$ersations. &hen you are reoccu ie% with thoughts about someone towar% whom you are angry, you become %istracte%. 0"ou're %ri$ing me to %istraction:0 my mother use% to say. Forgetting agreements, stan%ing eo le u , mil%ly critici?ing most of another's beha$ior, ha$ing acci%ents, making mistakes, acci%entally saying things to hurt others, an% forgetting eo le's names are all in%irect e) ressions
of anger. *nger of this kin% is %angerous, much more so than the shortCterm e) losi$e kin%. This is the form of anger with which we ha$e been oisone% an% with which we continue to oison our chil%ren. This form of anger accumulates an% is the %irect cause of hysical abuse in our society. *s %ifficult as it may be for our min%s to acce t, the %irect e) ression of resentment works better than the su ression of anger to rotect oursel$es an% each other from %amage by anger. &hen we communicate our resentment to the erson we resent, the anger %issi ates more com letely in the moment of e) ression an% shortly thereafter. The anger may get cranke% u to a higher itch than seems reasonable in many small arguments, but the intensity of the e) erience allows the heat out where it can cool. !ften the intensity is because of a number of associate% e$ents from the ast where anger was not han%le% sufficiently, making the current e) ression art of a healing rocess that frees the angry erson from limitations im ose% an% anger %enie% in the ast. Deo le can get o$er being ma% if they face resentment one instance at a time. Deo le who are willing to %o that with each other are a gift to each other. They contribute to each other's liberation an% healing of woun%s from the ast. 8$en if the erson towar% whom we are angry %oesn't change, agree to change, or a ologi?e, we can still forgi$e that erson for our own benefit. Forgi$eness always benefits the forgi$er more than the forgi$en. The e)treme alternati$e to this oneCste CatCaCtime a roach is to be a mass mur%erer, like the youngest ki% to make 8agle -cout in Boy -cout history, get goo% gra%es, always be nice, become a goo% 1arine an% then go u in the tower at the /ni$ersity of Te)as an% shoot to kill e$erybo%y in sight for two hours. # was on the cam us in *ustin, Te)as, when that e)tra goo% boy kille% an% in'ure% all those eo le. Dis lace% anger is the roblem of the age. The eo le who %ie% on battlefiel%s in the twentieth century all %ie% in the %efense of some rinci le of rightness. 1ost of them were 'ust ki%s. 1ost of them were being obe%ient an% righteous. 1ost of them were scare%. 1ost were angry, they thought, at some common enemy of the time in the socially a ro$e% way. 1ost of them were fighting to sa$e their lo$e% ones from some ignorant imaginary threat that robably coul% ha$e been fi)e% by the honest e) ression of resentment between one or two eo le, or at worst, by killing only one or two eo le. 1ost of them were a%olescents ganging together in a common cause of righteous mur%er to rotect their arents who taught them to han%le their anger that way. These ki%s, who were olite to their mothers an% obe%ient to their fathers, were itiful ignorant heroes, an% the sacrifice of their li$es was a waste. -o this is what ha ens with anger4 as chil%ren grow, they are constantly o$er owere%, care% for, an% controlle%H chil%hoo% e) ressions of anger against stronger a%ults are unishe%, either o$ertly or co$ertly. !r worse, the angry e) ressions are con%escen%ingly morali?e% about. *s chil%ren, we %o the best we can to co y a ro$e% ways of %ealing with anger to a$oi% getting unishe% for it. The result, at least in our culture, is that most eo le %on't e) ress anger %irectly. #t's not that they %on't know they're angry or that they won't talk about their angerH they %o an% they will. 1ost eo le, howe$er, won't e) ress their resentment in erson to the erson at whom they are angry. #nstea%, they
gossi , com lain, critici?e, fantasi?e about telling the erson off, an% let it out in other in%irect ways. -u ression an% %is lacement to i%eals, in%ignation, an% 'u%gments ;against others an% oursel$es< usually work well enough that by the time we males reach eighteen years of age an% some el%er i%iot tells us to kill some eo le to %efen% some rinci le, we run right out an% %o it. 6ndoing the Learned %uppression of Anger !$ercoming com letely the learne% su ression of anger is, # think, a futile ob'ecti$e. &e ha$e been too well traine% to lie. -ome eo le %o become less angry, an% less cri le% by %enial, through sychothera y an% some worksho s an% trainings. -ome eo le come to terms with their anger an% acknowle%ge its influence on their li$es to a greater %egree an% become less hel less when they %o get angry. -ome eo le get o$er being %e resse% from su ressing anger. !thers %on't ha$e much luck with it. 8$eryone who e) eriments with telling the truth about anger at least fin%s out that eo le %on't %ie if you tell them you resent them for something they sai% or %i%. #n fact, more often than not, when eo le tell the truth about their feelings, relationshi s get better, e$en if the truth is about hatre%. The transition from being a foolish hero or heroine to being free of the fear of anger is a thera eutic rocess you can engage in by agreement with eo le with whom you ha$e committe% relationshi s. 8) ressing resentment %irectly is a re(uirement for creating an authentic relationshi between two human beings instea% of an entanglement of two min%s. *greeing to tell the truth about anger in a committe% relationshi is a way to get o$er some of the %amage an% suffering that comes from how you were raise%. #t is a way of losing your min% an% coming to your senses an% e) eriencing yourself as a being, rather than as a 'umble of morals gleane% from whate$er your sa% story may be. #t is a way of growing beyon% rimiti$e foolishness to a more a%$ance% form. Te in) the Truth A5out An)er !or the S#.e o! For)i"ene$$ Telling the truth about anger means making a resentCtense statement about your e) erience, while angry, to the erson with whom you are angry. +o one can ha$e much luck getting o$er angerCsickness unless they can tell the truth about their e) erience in the resent an% in the resence of the erson they are ma% at. #'m not saying you should tell the truth to be a goo% or better erson. This is not meant as a moral rinci le, but as a functional gui%eline. Telling the truth about your anger lets you function better in a ragmatic way, achie$ing your goals an% en'oying the rocess, instea% of feeling %ri$en by forces beyon% your control. &hen you are willing to ha$e an e) erience be as it is, rior to categori?ing the e) erience as 0goo%0 or 0ba%,0 an% you %on't waste all your energy trying to a$oi% or lie about the e) erience, you ha$e a choice about how you can res on% to that e) erience. !ne of the hallmarks of su resse% anger is hel lessness. "ou can %etect the language of hel lessness in such hrases as, 0# can't.0 0They ma%e me.0 0#t's no use.0 0#t %oesn't really matter,0 an% 0"ou 'ust %on't un%erstan%.0
Dower is assigne% to forces outsi%e the s eaker. Dower on the art of the s eaker is %isowne%. The following e)am le of a cou le's interaction in my office illustrates an angry client being %irecte% to make a resentCtense statement about her e) erience, rather than remaining lost in her min%. TH85*D#-T4 0*nne, # want you to look at Da$i% an% tell him what you resent him for.0 *++84 ;looks at Da$i% an% then back at the thera ist< 0He ne$er listens to me. # can't talk to him about anything im ortant an% he has no interest in my life.0 TH85*D#-T4 0.ook at Da$i% an% tell him, not me.0 *++84 ;looks at Da$i% an% re%%ens< 0"ou ne$er listen to me. # can't talk to you.0 ;-he looks back at the thera ist for a ro$al.< D*@#D4 0"eah, right. # do listen to you.0 ;*nne glances at her husban%, then makes a 0-ee what # mean60 gesture to the thera ist.< TH85*D#-T4 0*nne, first of all, # want you to kee looking at Da$i%, not at me, an% allow yourself to remain in touch with him e$en if you start to feel uncomfortably angry. -econ%ly, be more s ecific. ,om lete the sentence '# resent you for9' with something he actually sai% or %i%.0 *++84 0#'m not angryH #'m 'ust u set about not being listene% to. He treats me like a chil% an% #'m sick of utting u with it.0 TH85*D#-T4 0"ou're lying. "ou are angry, an% you're unwilling so far to e) eriment with your anger to see what woul% ha en if you were %irect, instea% of in%irect an% oisonous, in your e) ression of it. #f you coul% tell him %irectly an% e) ressi$ely what you resent him for, you may fin% that you feel less hel less an% less %ominate% by Da$i%.0 *++84 0# knew you'% take his si%e: "ou're 'ust like a rosecuting attorney utting a ra e $ictim on trial. # %on't nee% to s en% two hours an% all this money to be berate%H # can stay home an% get that for free.0 ;Da$i% has been reacting throughout this e)change with %ramatic sighs, scowls, an% %erisi$e laughter. *nne now turns to face him.< *++84 0# resent you for laughing at me, you9you9 ig:0 ;Tears ha$e welle% u in her eyes.< TH85*D#-T4 0Goo%: Bee going:0 *++8 ;hol%ing out her han% for a tissue< 0# can't9it makes me cry an% # %on't want to cry.0 ;-he attem ts to control her tearsH she closes her eyes, blows her nose, an% then co$ers her face with her han%s. *fter a moment, she lifts her hea% an% faces Da$i% again.< 0# resent you for laughing at me 'ust now. # resent you for laughing at me whene$er #'m serious. # resent you for9for9for ne$er listening to me.0 ;They stare at each other. *nne has sto e% crying. Her face is re% an% blotchyH her bo%y is rigi%H her breathing is ra i%. Da$i% looks serious now, an% his 'aw muscles work. He is 'ust erce tibly no%%ing.< TH85*D#-T4 0Goo%, *nne. &hat %o you feel in your bo%y right now60 *++84 ;takes a %ee breath< 0!kay.0 TH85*D#-T4 0'!kay' is an e$aluation. # want a description of what you are feeling in your bo%y.0
*++84 0#'m tense all o$er. 1y9my9#'m breathing fast. 1y han%s are shaking.0 D*@#D4 0"our face is re%.0 *++84 ;shouting< 0FU U U "!/:5 D*@#D4 ;lou%ly< 0FU U U "!/::0 ;They look at each other, furious .< TH85*D#-T4 0Goo%. Da$i%, you'll get your turn to e) ress all your resentment, but # want to focus on *nne an% ha$e her com lete hers first. *nne, kee goingH you're %oing great. -taying in touch with your e) erience in your body, tell Da$i% specifically what you resent him for.0 *++84 0# resent you for telling me my face was re%. # resent you for +!T .#-T8+#+G T! 18, "!/ *55!G*+T -!+!F*B#T,H:0 ;-he throws her tissue at him.< TH85*D#-T4 0Goo%: What specific things has he said or done that you interpreted as him not listening to you=5 *++84 ; auses, consi%ers< 0He turns on the T@ when #'m in the mi%%le of saying something to him. # can be saying that 1artians are in$a%ing an% the kitchen is on fire, an% he'll go, '&ait a sec, it's thir% %own.'0 TH85*D#-T4 0&hen %i% he last %o this60 *++84 0/m91on%ay, # came home from work an% # was telling him how u set # was about not getting this ro'ect that he knew was so im ortant to me an% he totally ignore% me:0 D*@#D4 02esus, *nne, you starte% talking to me right in the mi%%le of a game an% it was an im ortant art an% # 'ust aske% you to wait until the commercial to tell me:0 *++8 ;to Thera ist< 0Do you think it's too much to ask a husban% to sto watching a football game for a few minutes to ay attention to his ob$iously %istraught wife60 D*@#D4 0"ou ur osely bring u these melo%ramas when #'m in the mi%%le of something:0 *++84 04elo%ramas:0 TH85*D#-T4 0&ait, wait. "ou're both getting si%etracke% into trying to ro$e, an% get me to a%'u%icate, the rightness of your cases. #nstea% of focusing on the legality of your osition, # want you to focus on your anger an% your e) erience and e!press your anger without ha"ing to 6ustify it. *nne, tell Da$i% you resent him for what he %i% 1on%ay night an% make it goo% an% lou% an% %irect an% without 6ustification. *++84 ;takes a %ee breath, turns back to Da$i%< 0# resent you for turning to the football game as # was talking to you about my ro'ect:0 TH85*D#-T4 0&hat %o you notice in your e) erience60 *++84 0#'m feeling sort of9charge% u . Tingling.0 TH85*D#-T4 0-ay the same resentment again, with more e) ression.0 *++84 0% resent you for watching the football game while % was talking to you about not getting my pro6ect30 ;-he sto s, looking at Da$i%, breathing more (uickly. -he leans forwar%.< 0# 58-8+T "!/ F!5 &*T,H#+G TH*T -T/D#D F!!TB*.. G*18 &H#.8 # &*- T5"#+G T! T8.. "!/ -!18TH#+G::::0 she shouts, rising out of her chair. ;-he is shakingH her hair is flyingH her fists are clenche%. -he sits back %own, anting.< TH85*D#-T4 0&hat %o you notice60
*++84 0# feel a lot of energy. #'m certainly not crying anymore.0 -he laughs. D*@#D4 0&hat's so funny60 *++84 0# %on't know. Dartly it feels goo% 'ust to let loose. Dartly, #'m laughing because # 'ust reali?e% that my mother use% to com lain to my %a% all the time for the same thing. #t's like it's the same stinkin' football game from thirty years ago, still on.0 ;-he laughs again.< The oint of this work is clear. &ith atience an% re etition, the client learns to be ma% an% ay attention to what she e) eriences in her bo%y at the same time. *nne e$entually got in touch with her e) erience of resentment, an% after a while got o$er it. &hat came out after she wasn't so ma% at Da$i% anymore was her resentment of her father for ignoring her, for gi$ing her a%$ice, for being col% when she ma%e less than erfect gra%es, for critici?ing her boyfrien%s, an% so on. The anger that she was %enying by claiming hel lessness resulte% in her saying she 0coul%n't0 talk to her husban%. The anger ha% a history in her belief about 0not being able0 to talk to her father. .ater, she ha% a %ialogue with an em ty chair in which she imagine% her father was sitting. -he switche% si%es back an% forth, becoming at one time her father an% another time herself. #n this imaginary situation, she tol% her father all the things she resente% him for (uite e) ressi$ely an% then laye% him telling her his resentments. .ater on in thera y, she agree% to s en% three %ays with her father, an% tell him her resentments, an% stay in touch with her e) erience. -he went on $acation with Da$i% an% both her arents. &hen she came back from that tri , she was elate%. -he sai%, 0&hen # left there, # was willing an% e$en e)cite% by the ros ect of seeing my father again the ne)t time we can get together. For the first time # can remember, # thought something other than, '&ell, # got through that $isit.' &hile we were still at the beach with my arents, Da$i% an% # talke% about our relationshi an% about my relationshi with my father. &e argue% some, an% we both crie% some. &e came u with some new groun% rules for our marriage7inclu%ing telling the truth to each other, articularly about things we are ma% about. !ne night, he an% my %a% an% mom an% # staye% u until F4GK in the morning talking about e$erything, inclu%ing what makes us ma% at each other, but also about what we a reciate an% a bunch of other stuff. &e ha% a great time:0 Ad'ittin) Bein) U&$et1 Den%in) Bein) An)r% Generally, eo le are willing to a%mit that they feel 0u set,0 but not that they are angry. &e remember the a%age, 0#f you can't say anything nice about someone, %on't say anything at all.0 Forget that. Do the re$erse. *n%, when e) ressing anger, you'll %o better when you o$erstate the case. -ince we too often un%er lay anger, we nee% to o$er lay our e) ression. 1ost of us %on't know how to i%entify clearly what anger feels like insi%e our bo%ies. &e atten% to our many racing thoughts, focusing on the rightness or wrongness of the con$ersation we 'ust ha% instea% of tuning in to our e) erience in the moment. &e ignore our racing heart an% the flush of heat in our face an% the tension buil%ing in our shoul%ers an% the tightening of our stomachs. &hen we %o acknowle%ge these feelings, we %o so only at an abstract le$el that subsumes too much e) erience. &e say we are 0u set0 about some general set of beha$iors on someone else's art. 8$en acknowle%ging 0u set0 is a first ste H some of us %eny e$en that. The secon% ste is a%mitting that our 0u set0 is
anger. The thir% ste is s eaking resentments s ecifically an% in contact with one's own bo%y an% the eyes of the other erson. Other C ue$ A5out the On)oin) Deni# o! An)er .ots of beha$iors in%icate anger. #f you gossi about someone to someone else, you are angry. "ou ha$en't com letely e) resse% your resentment to that erson you gossi e% about. *nother ti Coff is breaking your wor% while trying not to. &hen you fin% yourself 0trying,0 struggling, stri$ing without any results, look for whom you are trying to lease4 you are robably ma% at them. *nother clue is selfCcon%emnation. #nstea% of con%emning yourself an% calling yourself a rotten, weak, or stu i% erson, ask yourself, 0&hom am # ma% at60 Don't let yourself off the hook with the rationali?ation, 0#'m 'ust ma% at myself.0 This is worthless. "ou ostulate two eo le, 0#0 an% 0myself,0 who are ma% at each other. "ou can only be ma% at yourself if you are schi?o hrenic. 05oses are re%. @iolets are blue. #'m schi?o hrenic an% so am #.0 Dut the two ieces back together an% %isco$er whom you are ma% at. &hen you ha$e a choice of being ma% at someone else or ma% at yourself, always ick someone else, %ummy. 1ost eo le think selfCcon%emnation is a $irtueH it's not. *nother hint of hi%%en anger is erfectionism. Deo le who are rou% of being erfectionists an% for whom har%ly anything is e$er goo% enough are angry at someone else. 0.o$e your neighbor as yourself0 %oesn't mean that you are su ose% to lie about angerH it means to tell the etty, unreasonable, un'ustifiable truth7goo% an% lou% an% %irect so you can authentically get o$er it so you can lo$e that neighbor for real again, not hony it u an% talk about how nice they are while lying through your teeth. Try treating other eo le as oorly as you treat yourself. *t times, being honest about your anger is the only way you ha$e of sharing who you are. .o$e is sharing what you ha$e, e$en if you're ha$ing a fit. Telling the truth is lo$ing your neighbor. Stu&id Hue$tion$1 Du'5 Ide#$1 #nd In#ne R#tion# i?#tion$ Deo le ask me, 0&hy %o # ha$e to e) ress my anger %irectly to another erson6 #sn't it ossible to 'ust forget about it or 'ust un%erstan% the other erson's situation an% forgi$e him60 The answer is no. "ou cannot forgi$e someone else without e) ressing your resentment %irectly to her or him. &e can all make u lenty of legitimateCsoun%ing reasons for continuing to a$oi% or withhol% from the resente% erson. 0There's no oint in bringing it u again. #t's o$er. *n%, besi%es, #'m not angry anymore.0 ;Then why %o you kee thinking about it6 &hy %o you kee bringing it u 6< 0# belie$e in forgi$eness.0 ;*s if 0belie$ing0 in forgi$eness coul% make you forgi$e somebo%y when you ha$en't.< 0-he robably %i%n't mean what she sai%. -he 'ust ha% a really ba% %ay.0 ;*s if you coul% reason yourself out of the e) erience of being angry.< 0# can't e$en remember what # was ma% about.0 ;1eaning, 0#'% rather not remember so # %on't ha$e to feel uncomfortable.0< 0# think # %o the same things that # accuse him of %oing, so # can't really blame him.0 ;But you %o blame him.<
0-he has many other won%erful (ualities. # %on't want to har on the negati$es.0 ;-o you lose touch with your a reciation of her soon after you lose touch with your resentment.< *ll these e) lanations soun% forgi$ing an% noble, which they woul% be if they were e) eriences rather than i%eas. The roblem is not that these i%eas are inaccurate or wrong. The roblem is that ideas about forgi$eness are not forgi$eness. They %on't e$en hel . &hat you are left with is the e) erience of resentment an% the conce t of forgi$eness7an% a %eteriorating relationshi . These e) lanations are generate% by your min% so that you can a$oi% the e) erience of anger. *s you are saying or thinking these thoughts, you are busying yourself to a$oi% feeling anger. Forgi$ing someone with whom you are angry7actually e!periencing forgi$ing him7only ha ens after you tell him what he %i% or sai% that you resent. !nly when you allow yourself to e) erience an% e) ress anger o enly will it %isa ear. Thinking an% %eci%ing what to %o about the erson only ser$es to su ress the anger. 8$en though you think the anger is o$er, it will manifest itself in other ways. "our communication will be less honest an% s ontaneousH you may be more critical of himH you may fin% being with him more hysically tiring, may forget a ointments with him, an% may fin% yourself ine) licably angry at him more an% more. *fter a while, your frien%shi may feel more su erficial than before an% you may not like s en%ing as much time with him as you use% to. #f you li$e with the erson, you may feel a %ifference in the (uality of time you s en% together. "ou may notice that you'% rather stare at the tele$ision than look into his eyes. Before long, you are li$ing in a sa% country song, crying in your beer alone full of nostalgia about 0what once was but kin ne$er be agin.0 #t takes a lot of courage to change this. "ou must be willing for things to get worse before they get better. ,% An)er ,#% Not Be Ri)ht 1ost resentments are irrational, unreasonable, stu i%, an% base% on incom lete information. 1aking a successful case for how your resentment is 0right0 an% how the other erson is 0wrong0 isn't the solutionH it's the roblem. &e human beings are all selfish an% unfair an% it's worse than useless to reten% we aren't. #t is common for chil%ren to resent a younger sibling for being the baby of the family. #s that the baby's fault6 Di% the baby choose to be born last in the family6 #t seems unfair to resent eo le for things o$er which they ha$e no control. &e're all unfair. #t's unreasonable to resent younger siblings, whom we also lo$e, for getting more attention than we %o, but the truth is that we still resent them. #t's unreasonable to resent arents for growing ol%, babies for crying, men for being men, or women for being women or lo$e% ones for %ying. But we %o. &e all %o. !ur %ecision not to e) ress our resentment is base% on a %ee ly hel% belief that our anger has to be 'ustifie%, righteous, an% legitimate. #t %oesn't. To be free of anger, we ha$e to gi$e u this belief an% allow our resentments an% other eo le's resentments to be e) resse% e$en if they are com letely irrational. !ne of the reasons that getting o$er the loss of a lo$e% one takes a long time is the refusal of eo le to a%mit that they are furious at the %ea% erson for
%ying. #t %oesn't make sense to hate someone for %ying7they %i%n't %o it on ur ose. &e %o hate them, though. 8$ery one of us hates eo le we lo$e who %ie on us. &e are sychological beings an% not logical beings. &e are humans, not @ulcans like 1r. - ock of (tar Trek. -o, when you tell the truth about your resentments, you may look like a fool. &ell, you are a fool: *t least if you a%mit it you will be in goo% com any. !ne thing for sure is this4 the biggest fools of all are the ones wasting their li$es reten%ing not to be fools. F#irne$$ "er$u$ For)i"ene$$ 1any of us are concerne% about fairness an% use the rinci le of fairness as our rimary rationali?ation for withhol%ing anger. *%$ance% instruction in this rinci le creates lawyers who are miserable eo le. Di$orces han%le% by lawyers often result in chil%ren shot back an% forth like missiles between hostile cam s. #f you force yourself to be fair while still angry, you are a fool, an% any agreements you make in such a state won't work for you. 2u%ges an% lawyers ignore this fact. 2u%ges an% lawyers e)ist for eo le who can't han%le their anger. * 'u%ge tells you what to %o, base% on what he or she thinks is fair, whether you like it or not, because you ha$en't been able to work things out on your own. There is a better way to fight that turns out to be e(uitable in the long run, e$en though it may look unci$ili?e% an% unfair in the beginning. #t might not seem fair to e) ress what seems like intense resentment for etty reasons in the beginning, but the a%$antages become clear by the time the argument is o$er. Things turn out fairly when, an% only when, eo le get o$er being angry. The result of e) erimenting with this kin% of interaction is $ery %ramatic. The ma'or benefit of e) ressing your anger com letely to someone is that, afterwar%, you can forgi$e him or her. The reason for forgi$ing your enemies is not for their benefit but for your own benefit. Hol%ing gru%ges against other eo le %oesn't hurt themH it %oesn't e$en bother them much7in fact, it e$en leases them if they are still ma% at you. #t's not in your enlightene% selfC interest to hol% gru%ges, regar%less of whether it bothers the erson you hate or not. /nless you %e$elo the ca acity to %o what it takes to forgi$e other eo le, you can't tell your story from reality, you can't forgi$e yourself, an% you stay tra e% in moral con%emnation in your min%. "our bo%y stays tie% in knots an% susce tible to illness an% you can be sure of a ba% life an% lousy relationshi s with anyone else you air u with, e$en if you lea$e the erson you hate. The ID#n)erou$ Pr#ctic# Con$eJuence$I R#tion# i?#tion "ou might rotest, 0The reasons # ha$e for not e) ressing anger %eal with real conse(uences that might ensue if # blew u at someone. For instance, # might lose my 'ob.0 "es, you might. Howe$er, there is a greater ossibility that by not e) ressing your anger, you will sabotage your relationshi with your boss or coworkers to the oint where you may as well (uit, or will en% u (uitting or getting fire%. Derha s you start missing %ays, making mistakes, or 'ust being more intereste% in making the boss or coworkers wrong than in su orting them, him, or her. 1aybe you withhol% your enthusiasm a little. The 'ob will become less satisfying, an% the rewar%s of kee ing your 'ob will be far outweighe% by the aggra$ation of ha$ing to ut u with these eo le. This will occur in %irect relation to how much you feel you ha$e to withhol% your anger when you are at work.
#n a%%ition to less satisfaction an% oorer erformance, the hi%%en costs inclu%e re%uce% hysical health an% re ercussions in your family life. # am not encouraging you to lose your 'ob, nor am # encouraging you to kee it. "ou robably won't lose itH in fact, your relationshi with your boss an% your coworkers will robably im ro$e if you confront them. But e$en if there is a risk you will lose it, be aware of the costs of hanging on to it. /sually, what ha ens is you get a lifeless, %e ressing 'ob an% an unha y family life for your effort. 8$entually, e$en that tra%eoff %oesn't work. &e ha$e an o$ersu ly of cowar%s with lousy, %ea%, %e ressing 'obs an% lousy, %ea%, %e ressing family li$es. &e %on't nee% any more. Don't $olunteer for that 'ob. Damage% heroes with mis%irecte% courage aboun%. # ha$e coache% a lot of eo le through conflicts at work in ri$ate in%ustry an% the go$ernment, an% many of my clients ha$e climbe% to the to of their rofessions. &hat seems clear to me is that eo le %on't often a%$ance by sim ly ho ing for the best an% beha$ing themsel$es. * lot of eo le waste their time being wellCbeha$e% em loyees, a$oi%ing the risk of telling the truth about resentment, ho ing for a%$ancement. The eo le who actually get to the to are both more nasty an% more lo$ing. They are not goo% little assi$eCaggressi$e obe%ient eo le. They are more likely to be trouble. 1aybe some of them got kicke% u stairs because more assi$e eo le coul%n't stan% utting u with them anymore. -ome got romote% because they sto e% being willing to stan% aroun% an% gossi about who was to blame for their unha iness. By not e) ressing resentment %irectly, many eo le bring about the result they were trying to a$oi% in the first lace7they stay stuck or lose their 'obs. Through carefulness an% oliteness an% goo% beha$ior, they choke themsel$es %own to being bore%, bur%ensome, stresse%Cout, miserable, athetic eo le nobo%y wants to be aroun%. /nless they are ci$il ser$ants, some of these eo le %o lose their 'obs. -ome remain working for the go$ernment as a erweights. # am attem ting to answer all the ob'ections to being honest about anger that ha$e come u in arguments with eo le from our culture with me before. Bee rea%ingH we're almost through. $ill "elling the "ruth About Anger Destroy ur Relationship! 1any of us won't e) ress anger with a lo$e% one. &e belie$e that if we e) resse% our resentment, it woul% %estroy our relationshi an% our belo$e% woul% lea$e us. But without the free%om to tell the truth about our e) erience, our relationshi s ine$itably suffer. &hen we e) ress only our a reciation an% withhol% our anger, we lose our ability to be fully present with the ones we lo$e, an%, sooner or later, we become less able to a reciate them. This is often why relationshi s en% an% families break u . 5e ressing anger to control other eo le's beha$ior ;in this case, to kee them from lea$ing< is ultimately what lea%s to our inability to make contact with them. 5e resse% anger blocks the flow of lo$e an% creati$ity that we once e) erience% aroun% them, an% generates a flurry of thoughts for us to get caught u in. The more we are caught u in our thoughts, the less resent we are to the other erson an% to what is ha ening in our own momentCtoCmoment e) erience. !nce you start getting more honest with yourself about your 'u%gmental, angry min%, you fin% yourself confronting this (uestion4 0How can # e) ress my resentment in such a way that # strengthen, rather than %estroy, my relationshi s
with others60 There are ways of e) ressing anger that work, an% there are ways of e) ressing anger that make the situation worse. The ways that work the best make things worse for a while, and better later. These are the ones you want. 1ost eo le e) ress anger ineffecti$ely, an% then, when they see how uncomfortable the situation has become, %eci%e that it's best to lea$e those feelings hi%%en. Their conclusion is incorrect. #t is best to learn how to fight so that the air between you an% the other erson is cleare%. &hen you ha$e 0cleare% the air,0 you are free to relate in a bran%Cnew way to that person rather than to your ideas about the person. My Anger is "oo 23plosive- I Might Hurt %omeone #n the beginning, an attem t to change the habit of smothering anger can be e) losi$e. The backe%Cu fun% of resentment is release% in a torrent. The first blowCu seems like a nuclear e) losion, both because of its magnitu%e an% because it contrasts so %ramatically with former oliteness. *fter a little ractice, the e) losions become like con$entional bombs, then like %ynamite, an% then like firecrackers. The e$entual goal is to ha$e hun%re%s of tiny e) losions a minute, like an internal combustion engine. This anger is goo% fuel to burnH it's what makes -ammy run. &hat usually ha ens without a goo% gui%e through the initial e) losi$e e) eriences is that the erson runs away from the e) erience. For this reason, the rogression %own the ath from 0e) losion0 to 0engine0 %oesn't occur. #f a thera ist or coach or frien% can su ort an angry erson to stay with the e) erience of being angry e$en a few secon%s longer with each e) losion, the cure for hony heroics can begin. ,aying attention to the e!perience you are feeling in your body while angry is the key to learning how to use anger rather than ha"ing anger use you. Phon% E@& o$i"ene$$ !ne has to look an% listen carefully to %istinguish between a hony e) ression of anger an% an authentic one. * noisy e) ression of anger is not always the truth. The o$erCe) ression of anger can also be a form of lying, or a way of co$ering o$er other feelings, like grief. -ome lou%Cmouthe% eo le are angry all the time. They are lou% an% intimi%ating about it to co$er o$er other feelings. This co$eru anger, e$en though intensely e) resse%, ne$er %ecreases or subsi%es because it is a hony e) ression in the first lace, usually hi%ing grief or hurt feelings or fear of intimacy. An 23perimental and 23periential Approach to #uring Anger %ickness .ook into your own e) erience of what ha ens to you when you get angry. Think of someone with whom you are resently angry. #f you can't think of anyone, then think of someone whom you %on't articularly like. &hat is it that you %on't like about that erson6 Derha s you feel that this erson is a snob or ushy or %ishonest or cru%e or insensiti$e. #f you contacte% that erson an% tol% him forthrightly what you %i%n't like about him an% (uit there, chances are it woul% not im ro$e your relationshi . Don't sto with that. The ur ose of e) ressing your anger %irectly instea% of in%irectly is to get in touch with the source of your own 'u%gments. By the time a erson %eci%es that he %oesn't like someone, he is alrea%y one ste remo$e% from his anger. &hen aske% if we are angry, many of us manifest this beingCremo$e%Cfrom the anger, saying, 0#'m not angry, # 'ust %on't like him ;her< $ery much,0 or 0# 'ust %on't feel he's the kin% of
erson that # want to be aroun%.0 But these 'u%gments are foun%e% on one or more $ery s ecific inci%ents about which we were angry at one time. &e may not be consciously lying, because we may not be e) eriencing that anger right now. The form our anger resently takes is that of 'u%gments, e$aluations, an% other thoughts. The s ecific inci%ent may be har% to recall at first, but in$ariably, 'u%gments are base% on something that the erson s ecifically sai% or %i% that we resente%. The erson %i%n't necessarily say or %o anything ob$iously offensi$e. 1aybe he 'ust sai% 0hello0 an% you %i%n't like the way he sai% it. Derha s what he %i% remin%e% you of someone else or of some earlier e$ent in your life you are only artly conscious of. ;5emember -ally an% 5ags from cha ter two about the reacti$e min%6< The rightness or wrongness of what someone sai% or %i% is irrele$ant. #t may be more relate% to a re$iously store% recor% than to current reality anyway. "our anger is unreasonable an% unfair. .et it stay that way. Trying to make it seem reasonable7trying to make the resente% erson wrong is the source of all the 'u%gments. -traine% relations between eo le are not base% on e$aluation, 0$ibes,0 or 0not liking the way they are0 as much as on s ecific e$ents7what they at one time sai% or %i%. The e$aluations, %islike, an% e) lanations come later. &hen you can i%entify what these s ecific things are, you are in a better osition to e) ress your resentment an% heal your relationshi with that erson. &e are all more etty an% selfish than we are willing to a%mit. &hen we are willing to a%mit our etty anger, we get o$er it faster an% we ha$e less of it in the future. The rocess of forgi$eness in$ol$es the following si) minimal re(uirements, none of which may be skipped. 1."ou ha$e to tell the truth about the s ecific beha$ior you resent, to the erson, faceCtoCfaceH F."ou ha$e to be $erbally an% $ocally unrestraine% with regar% to $olume an% ro rietyH G."ou ha$e to ay attention to the feelings an% sensations in your bo%y an% to the other erson as you speak> 4."ou ha$e to e) ress any a reciations for the erson that come u in the rocess, with the same attention to your feelings an% to the other erson as when you are e) ressing resentmentsH A."ou ha$e to stay with any feelings that emerge in the rocess, like tears or laughter, regar%less of any e$aluations you may ha$e about how it makes you lookH an% let the tears or laughter or ain or anger not be interru te% by your min% until they go naturally to com letionH M."ou ha$e to stay with the %iscussion until you no longer feel resentful of the other erson. Then, an% only then, are you rea%y to talk about the future, make arrangements for the future, or make any agreements. *ny lawyer, riest, sychothera ist, or other atrolman who tells you %ifferently about this is full of cra . *ny %i lomat, bureaucrat, %emocrat, labor lea%er, com any e)ecuti$e, hea% of go$ernment, husban%, wife, son, or %aughter who attem ts to %o other than this is likewise full of it. 23ercises for *etting Into and *etting ver Anger 23ercise ne. ,lose your eyes for a moment, icture a erson you %on't like,
an% ha$e an imaginary %ialogue with him. Tell him your 'u%gments about him. Tell him what he %i% that you resent. Then imagine his res onse an% res on% back. Day attention to your bo%y as you engage in this imaginary %ialogue. Take a break from rea%ing here an% %o this e)ercise. 23ercise "wo( Go call that erson you 'ust ha% an imaginary con$ersation with an% make an a ointment to tell him your resentments in erson. ;"ou may also tell him your a reciations if you ha$e any or if any show u after your e) ression of resentment.< Tell the erson when you call that you want to meet him to tell him what you are ma% about an% get o$er it, an% get com lete with him. *sk him to meet with you as a fa$or to you. Dersist until he agrees to meet with you. 23ercise "hree. 1eet your enemy an% forgi$e her or him, not as a fa$or to her or him, but for your own selfish benefit. Finish rea%ing this cha ter before you go to your meeting. You Are Pro5#5 % # Co-#rd "ou robably %i%n't %o all three of those e)ercises. 1aybe you ne$er will. +ow you know why most cowar%s like to think of themsel$es as heroes. They %o it to hi%eH they are too afrai% of other eo le to tell them the truth. They woul% rather be kin% to their enemies than forgi$e them because it re.uires little courage to fake kindness> it's easier, less risky, less threatening, an% less trouble. Don't worry. "ou are normal. 1ost eo le are too rule% by fear to take a stan% on telling the truth. #n fact, you can start there. *%mit it. Tell eo le. *%mit your cowar%ice7your unwillingness to tell the truth if anything that you 'u%ge to be significant is at stake. "ou lie like cra?y when you are scare%, an% you are scare% whene$er you are angry. *%mit it. #t's a start. 3uide ine$ !or E@&re$$in) An)er 2ust in case you %eci%e to grow beyon% being normal, here are some gui%elines for you to follow in e) ressing anger. 5ea%ing these gui%elines will %o you no goo% if you are unwilling to e) eriment with this a roach to see what will ha en. This a roach may not 0make sense0 to you. #t works e) erientially. That is, if you try it to see what it feels like, you may get the e) erience of forgi$ing the erson you were ma% at. "ou may ha$e to e) eriment with it se$eral times before you get use% to the rocess. #t %oes work, e$en though it may not make sense. These gui%elines are not moral rules to be memori?e% an% obeye%. They are strategies. The ur ose of these gui%elines is to %irect your attention to the rocess of learning how to e) ress yourself in the moment so that something ha ens to actual feelings in your bo%y at the le$el of sensation. -omething will ha en because of your willingness to ay attention to your e) erience. These gui%elines will make you aware of your momentCtoCmoment e) erience of anger or of a reciation. They are to hel you be able to %isco$er something about the rocess of e) ression itself. "ou can use these strategies an% they still won't work if you are only atten%ing to the rules an% not to your e) erience. The oint is to be aware of your e) erience while e) erimenting, not to figure out whether you are 0goo%0 at following the rules. "our goal is to be willing an% able to acknowle%ge to yourself, an% to re ort to the erson with whom you are s eaking, each new
e) erience as it emerges, whether or not it is comfortable. #f you refuse to (uit, an% kee talking to the erson you're interacting with until you feel com lete, you will e$entually be com lete with him. "ou'll ha$e no more withhel% resentments or a reciations, an% you'll be able to e) erience him newly, as he is, in that moment. .o$e is when you let someone be the way she is. &hen you let u on your 'u%gments of someone, there is a free s ace in which forgi$eness an% lo$e occur. Here are the gui%elines4 $henever possible0 talk face'to'face to the person with whom you are angry( #t is im ossible to %o any of this work o$er the hone. The (uality of the interaction is %ifferent. "ou nee% to look each other in the eye an% react to each other momentCtoCmoment. !$er the hone, your contact with the other erson is much too limite% an% you are relating to your conce t of him, not to your e) erience of him as he is. "ou will miss many of his non$erbal res onses. Take the time to see him in erson. #f he is a long %istance away, a hone call is better than nothing, because it can start the rocess of e) eriencing the feelings. But %on't engage in long con$ersations on the tele hone. To %o so is usually a waste of time that increases 'u%gments an% %is laces feeling. This is the re$erse of what is nee%e% when you're ma%. %tart your sentences as often as possible with the words0 9I resent you for:9 or 9I appreciate you for:9 The structure of a sentence that starts with those wor%s ensures that the anger or a reciation is ersonalH that there is an 0#0 an% a 0thou.0 0# resent you0 has a much stronger an% more ersonal im act than 0# resent the fact that90 #n the latter statement you are saying that you are angry at some 0fact.0 The slight %ifference in the wor%ing may seem insignificant to youH it is not. 1ost eo le resist saying, 0# resent you for90 because they %on't want to get 0 ersonal.0 They are uncomfortable when they are %irectly e) ressing their resentment to someone. &hile you will feel more comfortable being less %irect an% saying, 0# resent it when90, that a roach won't work. "ou won't be able to com letely e) erience your resentment an% ha$e it %isa ear unless you are willing to tell the truth. "ou resent eo le, not facts or $ague 00it's0. -ubstituting something mil%er for the wor% 0resent0 is another a roach that %oesn't work. 0# am annoye% at you for90 an% 0# am angry with you about90 are intro%uctions to a story about anger. Those hrases %eal more with a general %escri tion of a state of being than with the acti"e e) ression of anger. The sentence that begins 0# resent you0 is %ifferent in that it is acti$e an% transiti$e, i%entifying something you are feeling towar% another erson in the resent moment of s eaking while the erson is there. #f %oing this makes you uncomfortable, fine. #f you e) ect to han%le your resentment without %iscomfort, gi$en how you were raise%, you can forget it. 1ake yourself uncomfortable on ur ose. *cting accor%ing to what feels comfortable when you are attem ting to get o$er anger is a mistake. #t's like %rinking De toC Bismol to kee from $omiting, staying sick for three hours, an% then uking your guts u anyway. * lot of eo le are also uncomfortable e) ressing %irect a reciation an% ha$e as much %ifficulty a%mitting warmth as anger. * reciations often emerge right in the mi%%le of e) ressing resentment. * reciations are to be
han%le% in the same way an% gotten o$er in the same way. Trying to hol% on to a reciations works 'ust as oorly as trying to a$oi% resentment. +ew a reciation for a erson can only emerge in a clearing create% by com leting the e) erience of ast a reciations an% resentments. %peak in the present tense( 2ust because you are talking about something he %i% in the ast, %on't say, 0# resente% you.0 "ou still resent that erson, right now, for what he %i% or sai% in the ast, so state the feeling in the resent tense. #n the ast tense, resentments are only %escri tions or stories about what ha ene% or how you were. They won't change the nature of your relationshi 7 of how you are now. &hen resentments are state% in the resent tense, you get the chance to feel angry again an% to e) erience the anger. &hen you can e) erience the feeling, it %isa ears. *s # ha$e sai% o$er an% o$er, when you a$oi% the e) erience of anger, it ersists in the form of a arently reasonable thoughts. The thoughts are oisonous an% not constructi$e. They are %estructi$e, because they %istance you from the other erson. They allow you to a$oi% contact with the other erson an% your e) erience an% to maintain your righteousness rather than e) ress the anger an% get off your ose. 2ventually0 get specific( 8$en though you can't always i%entify the articulars, you robably resent the erson for what he s ecifically %i% or sai%. For e)am le, if you say to someone, 0# resent you for being a snob,0 or 0# resent you for acting snobbish towar% me,0 he won't be clear about what you resent7 although he may imagine he un%erstan%s. He'll robably 'ust say, 0#'m not a snob.0 "ou ha$en't tol% him what he actually %i% or sai% that you resente%7what le% you to the conclusion that he was snobbish. "ou are %eman%ing that the erson 0buy in0 to your 'u%gment of him. "ou might begin by e) ressing a 'u%gment, but you must e$entually get s ecific. #f you ha$en't gotten %own to the s ecifics yet, you aren't finishe%. .ook closer into what the erson actually %i% that ma%e you conclu%e that he was snobbish, an% say that. #n this e)am le, the real resentment might be e) resse% by, 0# resent you for turning your hea% an% not answering me when # sai% 'Hi' to you at the grocery store.0 !r, 0# resent you for saying, '!nly hicks like country music' the other %ay.0 Don7t stop with general descriptions of behavior or general ;udgments( &hen you throw in the wor%s 0always0 or 0ne$er,0 the erson won't get what you're talking about an% you won't get o$er the resentment. He %oesn't ha$e to get it. #t isn't true. He hears only that you're trying to make him wrong. 0# resent you for constantly com laining,0 isn't s ecific. 5e ort the s ecific inci%ent;s< that you remember4 0# resent you for saying # bought the wrong groceries last Thurs%ay, an% # resent you for saying, '# guess #'ll ha"e to buy groceries' yester%ay.0 -imilarly, 0# resent you for ne$er a reciating me,0 or, 0# resent you for not being romantic,0 are both too $ague an% too global to be gotten o$er. 5emember, you are %oing this to get o$er your gru%ge, rather than to ro$i%e a case against your enemy. This resentment must be e) resse% more s ecifically, such as, 0# resent you for getting %runk an% falling aslee on our anni$ersary.0 %f you are too mad, at first, to interrupt your own mind by being more specific, go ahead and be general, but do so as loudly as possible. &hat you get from intensity will com ensate, in the beginning, for what you lack in s ecificity. 2ust remember to go back o$er the same groun% in a more s ecific way after you blow out the $ents.
)ocus
as much as you can on what did happen instead of what didn7t happen( &hen you resent someone for what he %i%n't %o7that is, for $iolating your e) ectations7look back to what he sai% or %i% to create that e) ectation. 8) ress your resentment to him for what he sai% or %i%. .ousy as the i%ea may seem, you are the only one who is res onsible for all your e) ectations, %isa ointment, an% anger. "ou can, howe$er, get o$er the misery you create for yourself by e) ressing your anger out lou%, instea% of li$ing in a little hut of oison thoughts. %tay in touch with your e3perience as you talk( #f you 'ust resent someone with a rehearse%, carefullyCwor%e% statement about your resentment, you robably won't ha$e much of an e) erience of your anger %issi ating. # recommen% you e) ress your feelings as they come u %uring the interaction. For instance, su ose your s ouse remin%s you of an obligation an% you get ma%. "ou might say, 0# resent you for asking me if # remembere% to get Gran%ma a birth%ay resent.0 "ou robably alrea%y felt guilty about forgetting Gran%ma's resent. "ou resent your s ouse for asking you the (uestion. &hen you ursue the e) erience further, you may resent your s ouse for telling you to get a resent in the first lace. "ou may resent Gran%ma for ha$ing a birth%ay. "ou may resent ha$ing a gran%mother, ha$ing to buy her a resent, being tol% to get her a resent, being aske% if you got it, the tone of $oice of the (uestioner, the look on the face of the (uestioner, or the smell in the room when the (uestion was aske%. "ou may resent the clerk at the store where you went for the resent, who sai% they were out of Gran%ma's bran%. &hat you nee% to %o to tell the truth an% ha$e the resentment %isa ear is this4 First, notice the bo%ily sensations associate% with what you ha$e calle% guilt ;feeling constricte% in your breathing, cowering, feeling tense, frowning< an% state your resentment clearly. -tart with, 0# resent you for saying, 'Di% you remember to get something for Gran%ma for her birth%ay6'0 Then, 0# resent you for your innocent, hony tone of $oice0 ;abstract<. 0# resent you for your tone of $oice when you aske% me that (uestion0 ;more s ecific<. 0# resent you for looking at me now.0 0# resent you for frowning.0 0# resent you for mentioning Gran%ma at all.0 This may soun% ri%iculous an% unfair. ,learly your s ouse is not at fault an% is being blame%. But note this4 the unfair blaming is being %one out lou%. #t is in the ublic %omain where it can get cleare% u , not in your secreti$e min%. Deo le outsi%e of you can be %e en%e% on to fight back an% take care of themsel$es. "ou can count on it. "ou %on't nee% to rotect your s ouse from your irrationality. "ou will get set straight in a minute. Try it. &hat you want is the feeling of com letion an% wholeness that comes when you ha$e tol% the truth about your etty, selfish min% an% raise% the roof out lou% like a fool. &hat a relief: "ou %on't ha$e to feel guilty now. "ou an% your s ouse now li$e in a new s ace. "ou may ha$e some withhel% a reciation to e) ress as well. "ou can a reciate someone for the same thing you resente% her for, an% often %o. "ou an% Gran%ma can also ha$e a more ali$e relationshi if you tell each other the truth about your anger an% guilt an% sense of obligation. Go see Gran%ma an% tell her the truth. &hat you ut out there relie$es you. &hat you withhol% will kill you. %tay there with the person beyond the time it takes to e3change
resentments( #f you are willing to state your resentments, an% kee stating them as they come u , an% allow the other erson to resent you for resenting him, e$entually you won't ha$e anything left to resent each other for. *t that oint, you're still not finishe%. #f you can't think of how to en% the sentence, 0# a reciate you for9,0 you are robably still angry an% ha$en't finishe% e) ressing your resentments7so kee going. Don't rush to forgi$e someone because you are uncomfortable about ha$ing so many resentments. Be honest about whether you really feel com lete with the erson. Be willing to ha$e the rocess take as long as it takes. #t robably won't take as long as you fear. #t will robably take longer than you like. After you both have fully e3pressed your specific resentments0 state your appreciation the same way( -ay, 0% a reciate you for9,0 not, 0# a reciate the fact that90. Bee checking your bo%y to see how you feel. *re your shoul%ers tense6 *re your arms crosse%6 *re your li s com resse%6 Do you feel like you want to get away from this situation as soon as ossible6 #f the latter is true, there is more that you are withhol%ing. Tell the truth of your e) erience e$en if it's, 0# still feel uncomfortable sitting here with you,0 or, 0# a reciate you for staying here an% listening to me.0 &hen you feel warmth in your chest an% a smile on your face, e) ress your a reciation in a clear way4 0# a reciate you for the way you look right now,0 or, 0# a reciate you for agreeing to %o this e) eriment with me.0 *fter some a reciations are e) resse%, some more resentments may emerge. #f that ha ens, e) ress those resentments an% go on. 8$entually you will 'ust be sitting in a room looking at a erson. "ou will see clearer. "ou will be willing to li$e an% let li$e. "ou will be grateful to her for ha$ing stuck with you through another fight. 4eep it up( *fter an emotional e)change in which two eo le tell the truth, they often retreat into su erficiality. Deo le notice that e$en though they felt lo$ing an% ins ire% after they talke%, weeks may go by before they see each other again. This is not an acci%ent. *fter we release our withhel% anger, we %isco$er our a reciation. 1ore often than not we reali?e that we really lo$e this erson. Deo le are scare% of feeling anger, but they are terrifie% of e) eriencing lo$e. #t's no won%er that when an authentic e)change occurs, the ne)t time the two eo le meet, they will talk about anything but their real feelings. !ne may say as an asi%e, 0"ou know, #'m so gla% we ha% that talk last time. #t meant so much to me.0 Then they'll switch the sub'ect to something tri$ial. !nce you ha$e broken through to another erson by telling the truth, you ha$e an incre%ible o ortunity to ha$e a real, ali$e relationshi . The two of you can su ort each other to continue to tell the truth. #t takes ractice. "ou will ten% to withhol% your feelings on later occasions because you ha$e ractice% that for years, but you can always get clear with the erson as soon as you reali?e that you are withhol%ing. 23ercises Again To %iminish the amount of anger you ha$e an% the %egree to which that anger runs your life, you can transform your relationshi to anger by agreement, an% change your e) erience of anger through awareness. *wareness is what causes change, not a moral resol$e to be better. 8arlier in this cha ter, # ga$e you some e)ercises an% you robably chickene% out. Here is another chance. These e)ercises are 'ust suggestions. "ou %on't ha$e to %o them an% they may
be useful 'ust at certain times when you are stuck on how to get o$er your anger. ,#.e #n A)ree'ent to E@&eri'ent -ith An)er Get together with some frien%s or your s ouse an% members of your family ol% enough to rea% this cha ter. 5ea% this cha ter. 1eet afterwar% an% make an agreement to e) eriment for ten %ays with telling the truth about your resentments to each other, as a metho% of su ort for each other. *gree that for ten %ays, all resentments may legitimately be e) resse%. That %oesn't mean they all ha$e to be acte% on. For e)am le, if one of you says, 0# resent you for arking in front of the %ri$eway an% # %eman% that you mo$e your car,0 the offen%er %oesn't ha$e to mo$e the car. *ll he has to %o is hear the resentment. #f the going gets rough, kee in min% that the e)ercise is to go on for ten %ays. H#"e # Con"er$#tion in # 3rou& A5out An)er Get a grou of frien%s together an% start an ongoing grou to su ort each other for a while in learning about how to han%le anger. -tart by asking them to rea% this cha ter an% talk about it in the grou . A$. !or He & !ro' Friend$ #f you are stuck at not being able to make the arrangements to meet someone to e) ress an% get o$er your anger because you are too cowar%ly or the erson won't meet with you, or if you get stuck %uring the meeting, ask a thir% arty in. Get a mutual frien% to me%iate. *sk both of your frien%s, the one you resent an% the one you aske% to hel , to rea% this cha ter. )urther 23ercises For further e)ercises, rea% 2ohn !. -te$ens' book, &wareness) 1!ploring, 1!perimenting, 1!periencing, articularly the three e)ercises entitle% uilt, $esentment, an% /emand. ;2ohn -te$ens' name is now -te$e *n%reas.< 3ui t Those situations in our li$es when we e) erience that terrible feeling of ha$ing %one something ba% an% been caught, of ha$ing ma%e a real mistake an% feeling ba% about it, %on't seem to be relate% to anger at all. "ou 'ust feel ba%. &hen you feel your way through the e) erience by facing it, anger will show u , an% your ower to get o$er the guilt comes from facing e$ery %etail an% e$ery imagine% catastro he. *nger shows u when you e)amine your guilt feelingly, because guilt, when it was first learne%, came from instances of what Frit? Derls calle% 0 ro'ecte% resentment.0 &hen you were a chil%, you were owerless, an% you sometimes got ma% at the a%ults who ma%e you %o some things an% woul%n't let you %o other things. &hen you were ma% at them an% you ma%e a mistake you knew they woul% get you for, you felt $ery ba%. #f you were ma% at the big erson who was going to be ma% at you, an% you ha% to %eny your anger or else make things e$en worse, you felt e$en guiltier. "ou imagine% they woul% be $ery ma% at you, base% on %enying that you were ma% at them, an% as an attem t to kee them from unishing you too ba%, you unishe% yourself. #f you were har% enough on yourself, you might ha$e esca e% some of their wrath, an% if you learne% to control your terrible self so your anger towar% them %i%n't show, you might likewise ha$e a$oi%e% their wrath. Better to be unishe% by yourself than by them. -o when you feel guilty, check to see if some of the anger you imagine on the art of the offen%e% arty is, in fact, your anger towar% them. 1istakes are
often ma%e out of anger in the first lace. Deo le who are erennial screwu s are usually angry eo le. ,edit#tion #f you are willing to confront your anger in all the ways # ha$e %iscusse%, an% if you are not using me%itation to a$oi% acknowle%ging an% e) ressing anger, then me%itation works. 1e%itation can increase your satisfaction an% %ecrease your anger. #f you want your anger to %ecrease noticeably in a relati$ely short time, an% if you are willing to %o all of what # ha$e %iscusse% so far, me%itate regularly. "ou will gra%ually become noticeably less angry as who you consi%er yourself to be changes to inclu%e your e) erience of 'ust sitting (uietly. "ou will become more familiar with yourself as the noticer. "ou will gra%ually become less attache% to yourself as a ersonality. # recommen% Transcen%ental 1e%itation ;T1<. T1 instructors are great at teaching me%itation. ;Don't take any of their a%$ice about anger.< Review and %ummary These e)ercises an% gui%elines for e) ressing resentment an% a reciation are for your use in %isco$ering how to let the e) erience of anger work itself out. These gui%elines are suggeste% as substitutes for your usual metho%s of controlling anger. They are inten%e% to assist you in e) eriencing your anger more intensely an% ublicly so you will ha$e a better chance of getting o$er being angry. "ou may get angry at me because, after following the gui%elines, you will feel like you are more angry than you use% to be. &hen this occurs, consi%er the ossibility that you are not angrier but are sim ly e) eriencing more. Then see for yourself if you get a result that works better than your former metho%s of control. #f not, you %on't get your money back. Here is a (uick re$iew of the gui%elines about anger4 &hene$er ossible, talk faceCtoCface to the erson with whom you are angry. -tart your sentences as often as ossible with the wor%s, 0# resent you for90 or, 0# a reciate you for90 - eak in the resent tense. 8$entually, get s ecific. Don't sto with general %escri tions of beha$ior or general 'u%gments. Focus as much as you can on what %i% ha en instea% of what %i%n't ha en. -tay in touch with your e) erience as you talk. -tay there with the erson beyon% the time it takes to e)change resentments. *fter you both ha$e fully e) resse% your s ecific resentments, state your a reciations the same way. Bee it u . $hy Do All of "his! Being honest about anger uts you on the roa% back home to being ali$e like you were as a chil% instea% of min%C%ea%ene% by what you ha$e learne% to lie about. Telling the truth about your anger is a way to get back to your e) erience of being, where you lo$e yourself an% therefore ha$e something left o$er with which to lo$e someone else. 5e$ealing the withhel% 'u%gments an% feelings you ha$e hi%%en, out of oliteness an% your rotection racket, is the %ifference between a life li$e% in hate an% a life li$e% in lo$e. ,oming forth with
your anger will gi$e you your life back. #t is a way to feel com lete an% not be in nee% of someone else to make you be whole. #t is one of the ways back to the ath of the 0light that enlightens the light,0 that light of being that first clicke% on in the womb an% which still is humming right along now, e$en as we s eak. That is one reason. Here is one more. The sur$i$al of humankin% %e en%s on it. #t is now time to say goo%Cbye to the ol% ara%igm of to C%own management, the feu%al system of to C%own teaching, the autocracy of to C%own arenting. #t is time to ha$e a funeral an% to gi$e our blessings an% thanks to that human in$enti$eness into which we were born an% which sustaine% us until it %i%n't anymore. #f we are to bury the ol% ara%igm we must forgi$e all the bearers of the ol% ways. &e must acknowle%ge our a reciation to all the workers, teachers, arents, oliticians, an% technicians for the won%erful heritage into which we were born. &e must affirm all the fantastic technological gifts an% benefits that ha$e come from the intellectual ioneers who rece%e% us. &e can, for goo% reason, be grateful for their creations an% their sufferings an% for all the mo%ifications of the i%eas an% i%eals they inherite% that were change% through their e) erimentation in how they li$e% an% create%, 'ust as we are e) erimenting an% creating in our own li$es with what they ga$e us. To all those eo le we say4 0&e a reciate you for all those solutions that worke% in your lifetime. 8$en though they will not work for us anymore, an% we ha$e new insight about their itfalls an% si%e effects, we still thank you for buil%ing that last rung we climbe% u on.0 Thanks to the #n%ustrial 5e$olution, we ha$e the #nformation *ge. Thank you for all the miserable waste% li$es un%er to C%own management that le% to our current ros erity an% comfort. Thanks to all the wage sla$es an% scrooges an% eo le in between. Thanks to all the union organi?ers an% co s an% corru t oliticians. Thanks to all the religious eo le an% the warriors who %efen%e% beliefs to the %eath. Thanks to all the misgui%e% e%ucators an% arents who brought this chance into being. Thanks to all the alcoholics an% factory workers an% military ersonnel. &e a reciate all of you for sacrificing your li$es for us. Thank you for all those nights of walking an% rocking when we were little an% all the hours you worke% an% all the care you showe% along with the abuse you ro agate%. Thanks for those hun%re%s of years of e) erimentation with altere% states of consciousness when you ha% only alcohol to work with. Thanks for all those attem te% celebrations of life, both those that worke% out an% those that %i%n't. Thanks for all the material goo%s an% better foo% an% better shelter an% better toys. Thank you for all the shows on tele$ision, the goo%, the ba% an% the ugly. Thank you for all the moralism an% the shoul%s an% the systems of selfCtorture you taught us. Thanks for that mostC%estructi$eCofCall twentieth century an% all the bloo%baths from which we learne% so much about malice aforethought an% malice after thought. Thanks for mo$ies an% tele$ision an% technology. Thanks for all the images of romantic i%ealism an% its corollary suffering. Thanks for the com uter. Thanks for the cars an%
(=+ In Pr#i$e O! The O d P#r#di)'
((+ Cre#tin) Your Li!e
highways an% buil%ings an% cities an% access to the countrysi%e. Thanks for a$iation an% all its a%$ances. Thanks for tele$ision an% $i%eo games an% mo$ies an% mo$ie $i%eos. Thanks for all the great ra%io shows an% all the talk shows. Thanks for recor%e% music an% ,Ds an% for gi$ing us access to the greatest moments of all the artists an% erformers of the worl%. Thanks for the #nternet. Thanks to the framers of the ,onstitution of the /nite% -tates an% e$eryone who has hel e% ut it into lay an% ke t it ali$e. Thanks for listening to the +ati$e *mericans who taught us so much that e$entually became a art of our ,onstitution. Thanks for the Great Books of the &estern &orl% an% for assing on to us the Great ,on$ersation. Thank you for translating an% teaching all the wis%om tra%itions of the 8ast an% of the 1i%%le 8ast in the secon% half of the twentieth century an% all the ractices that came from them. Thanks for all the mythologies of the worl% an% for the e$olution of mo%ern sychology. Thanks for all the oetry. Thanks for all the music. Thank you an% goo%Cbye.
!ne of the i%eas to be gotten from that long cha ter about anger is that your own min% is the source of your anger. "ou are the one res onsible for creating your anger. "ou are the only one who makes it ha en an% you are the only one who can %o anything about getting beyon% it. "ou can e) ress it an% feel your way through to forgi$eness or you can remain righteous. "ou an% # are the source of our own anger an% can be the source of forgi$eness for others an% oursel$es. #f we %o choose forgi$eness, the free%Cu energy we ha$e as a result of forgi$ing other eo le is both renewing an% useful. The benefits of forgi$eness can be e)ten%e% by taking e$en further res onsibility for the (uality of our own li$es. To sustain the benefits of forgi$eness, use the energy that results from it to create with3an% contribute to3 other eo le by taking on greater res onsibility. !ur ability to %isco$er our true i%entity as creator of the worl%, by $irtue of being ercei$ers, is a %irect result of transcen%ing the 'ail of the min% through the rocess of forgi$eness. Hanging out with eo le who share these assum tions an% ha$e chosen to li$e in this kin% of story, where getting o$er things is more $alue% than being right, is way more fun than li$ing among the merely righteous. # got the following summary outline many years ago an% ha$e been using it as a han%out in my worksho s. # cannot remember who wrote this so # cannot gi$e them cre%it for itH # belie$e it was one of my clients. # ha$e a%%e% to it an% mo%ifie% it an% can't remember what is mine an% what was theirs, but # a reciate with all my heart the erson who first wrote this %own. <ou Are "he #reator f "he $orld @ictims are not ,reators. ,reators are not @ictims. Deo le who create their li$es as artists o erate from a fun%amental set of assum tions. &e ask you to a%o t these assum tions for the %uration of a chosen time erio%, ins ect the results, an% then if you like what you %isco$er, use them the rest of your life. *ll my perceptions are my own %oing. They occur only insi%e of me. # influence them an% in the rocess 0%o me.0 This is my e)istence. There are no other ob'ects, no others e)ce t the 0ob'ects in me.0 # am the sole authority on my
feelings an% erce tions. # ha$e com lete res onsibility for how # %o myselfH an% no res onsibility for how you %o yourself ;unless you are my young chil%<. 1y e)istence is the rocess of 0me %oing me.0 *ll arts of my fantasies are my own %oing. They occur solely insi%e of me. They e)ist only as manifestations of me. *ll my dreams, my writings, an% my constructions are my own %oing. They occur solely insi%e of me an% they e)ist only as manifestations of me. # am not an agent acting on me. # am an e) an%ing, changing organism. # am always in some 0state.0 # am a unitary whole. # %o not ha$e 0 arts.0 # ache, anger, fear, lo$e, frustrate, %e ress, bore, 'oy, ain, e)hilarate, tense. # am my bo%y. # *1. T! !&+ TH*T "!/ *58 TH8 -!/5,8 #- TH8 B8" T! 58-!/5,8F/.+8--. &8 *58 *.. ,#T#=8+- !F TH8 /+#T8D -T*T8. The ,ind #$ #n In$tru'ent o! Cre#tion Deo le in grou s can hel each other to organi?e their li$es as acts of creation rather than a system of 0sur$i$al in s ite of0 their early chil%hoo% training. There is a way to use your min% to kee yourself from falling back to the neurotic sur$i$al skills of the min%. "ou %o it by li$ing into a $ision of the future, creating in the resent from the future, rather than ha$ing the resent be a reaction to the ast. Cre#tion in Co''unit% * community of su ort for ra%ical honesty is a li$ing conte)t of su ort for in%i$i%ual creation. #magine% ro'ects become reality when share% in a community of committe% listeners who s eak an% listen ro'ects into being. The community of su ort for ra%ical honesty also su orts the ractices that allow for the constant renewal of enthusiasm. &e %on't lea% a creati$e life because we shoul%. &e li$e a creati$e life because of constant %eli$ery from the fro?en conce ts of min%, so that we are calle% forth by $i$i% imaginings of what our creations will make ossible. This em owers eo le to create in%i$i%ual ro'ects they can oint to as something they brought into being, as 5obert Frit? says, sim ly because they lo$e% the i%ea of it e)isting, an% this makes a community of mutual lo$e an% res ect ossible. The skill re(uire% to lay at this le$el of the $i%eo game of life is consi%erable. #n our little subgrou of this larger community of wis%om an% com assion, we lay at this work retty much all the time. Here at the ,enter for 5a%ical Honesty, we ublish a (uarterly newsletter, VVVB5*D, the 5ag hasn't been ro%uce% in almost a year7sure you want to say this666< run a lot of worksho s, write books, an% %o tours of $arious kin%s. &e work for each other on each others' ro'ects. The $adical +onesty $ag VVVcomes out regularly to su ort e$eryone who has a $este% interest in this work. #t kee s u on the news that folks like us all o$er the country generate. Deo le are in$ite% to continue in the creation of an ongoing community of su ort for themsel$es by artici ating in the ,ourse on Honesty, the ,ourse on Forgi$eness that is hel% about three or four months later, an% the ,ourse on ,reation three or four months after that. Dersonal ower is the result of ersonal growth. *fter learning to ractice honesty, we %e$elo skills in forgi$eness. Then we ha$e the ower to create
successful ro'ects in life with frien%s in a community an% hel them %o the same. The ongoing 5a%ical Honesty ,ommunity is organi?e% aroun% li$ing as creators. !ur rimary mission is to create a worl% community of frien%s who su ort each other. The ur ose of the whole curriculum is to a ly the fun%amental rinci les of ra%ical honesty as taught in the worksho s to each in%i$i%ual life, such that in%i$i%uals become creators of their li$es using their min%s, rather than being $ictims of the ast, use% by their min%s. #n other wor%s, their li$es change when they change how they li$e, in their ongoing real life, where the rubber meets the roa%. The worksho s are about how each erson's min% reacts an% rationali?es to ro$i%e an illusion of control while eo le remain constraine% within the confines of habit. That enemy, the min%, must be tame%, to be ma%e into an ally. The ur ose of the trainings is to em ower all artici ants to li$e their li$es out lou% an% %esign their futures as layers, based on the regular practices of mindfulness designed to keep you centered in the e!perience of being in the here and now as the only place from which you can powerfully design the future. &hate$er free%om you gain from your min% can only be rotecte% by utting the min% to work creating. That is why the en% focus of all the training grou s is to integrate the benefits of free%om from %omination by the min% into your %ayCtoC%ay life by using your min% to bring about the results you en$ision. The ,ourses cost money an% time ;hours an% hours< an% each artici ant has to agree, in a%$ance, to ay for an% atten% all sessions. There is homework between sessions that takes some time an% some ongoing coaching from the trainers using the #nternet an% tele hone system. The time s ent is mostly for you to organi?e your life, as you actually li$e it, to be consistent with your $ision of how you want your life to be an% what you want it to be about. The commitment s rea%s out o$er a long erio% an% is usually a lot of trouble an% gets eo le in trouble they ne$er re%icte%. *s they say at .an%mark 8%ucation, where they con%uct The Forum, The *%$ance% ,ourse, an% other e)cellent trainings about taking res onsibility for your life, 0The way to generate breakthroughs is to generate break%owns.0 &hether you %o this work in one of our grou s, or %o it on your own using this book an% a grou of frien%s, it is work, an% you ha$e to %o most of it. !n the other han%, the oint of it is not to add to your bur%en of work but to reduce it by realigning an% reorgani?ing the way you li$e to waste less energy reten%ing an% worrying. "ou can s en% your energy with less strain because your whole life is %oing what you want. The oint is to work less, lay more, be ha y, accom lish a lot that you are rou% of, feel ro%ucti$e, be healthy an% in lo$e, an% ha$e a community of frien%s you'll lo$e the rest of your life who really know you an% whom you can trust to tell you the truth. These worksho s an% tutorials are con%ucte% by eo le traine% by me an% are ha ening more an% more fre(uently all o$er the country. +ow, eo le who want to ha$e more coaching in a lying the rinci les an% ractices of ra%ical honesty in their li$es can get it. * mo%ification of this worksho calle% the 5a%ical Darenting &orksho will be generate% ne)t year when my ne)t book, $adical ,arenting) +ow to $aise #reators comes out. 8$ery erson who is able to make their life work by telling the truth rather
than mani ulating is a can%i%ate to be traine% to con%uct these worksho grou s an% tutorials an% make at least a art of their li$elihoo% from %oing so. -e$eral assistants coClea% the ,ourses in Forgi$eness an% ,reating as well as some of the coaching sessions, %irecte% an% coache% by other trainers an% me. &e are becoming a mo$ement. &e are con%ucting all these grou s to hel organi?e an ongoing community of su ort for eo le in their local area, to foun% communities of su ort for ra%ical honesty. &e will be con%ucting the twoC%ay #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty worksho s re eate%ly in cities all o$er the worl% an% the eightC %ay ,ourse in Honesty in @irginia at the ,enter for 5a%ical Honesty an% occasionally at other central locations in the worl%. Gra%uates become in$ite% artici ants in alrea%y e)isting ra%ical honesty communities. Deo le in these grou s in$ite frien%s to take the worksho an% 'oin the community by artici ating in 5a%ical Honesty Dractice Grou s. Deo le who ha$e com lete% a worksho once can re eat it for half rice an% come to ,ourses at a re%uce% rate on an ongoing basis. 8$entually, almost e$erything will be a$ailable in a curriculum that is artially tutore% an% coache% on the #nternet with faceCtoCface meetings for three %ays about e$ery three months an% then more coaching an% tutoring an% su ort by local community meetings. &e will be using a combination of JKK numbers, a web age, conference call bri%ges, chat room meetings, an% email to kee in close touch with each other as we grow together in the ower to make things ha en in our li$es. Here is a brief sam le of a ,urriculum !utline, an% although you cannot tell e)actly the content of the training, you can get an i%ea of its %irection. "he #ore #urriculum- %elf'Reliance And Dreaming 6p An Alternative Life 1. Get fe% u with utting a %am er on your life. F. 5ea% $adical +onesty) +ow to Transform Your 'ife by Telling the Truth. G. 5ea% $adical +onesty %%) +ow to #omplete the ,ast, 'i"e in the ,resent and *uild a Future with a 'ittle +elp from Your Friends 4. 8nroll in an% com lete the #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty &orksho ;two %ays<. A. 8nroll in an% com lete the ,ourse in Honesty ;eight %ays<. M. Do the tutorial rogram an% the homework assigne% an% agree% to at the en% of the ,ourse in Honesty. Dartici ate in the two a%$ance% courses, the ,ourse in Forgi$eness an% the ,ourse in ,reating. P. 5emain in an ongoing Dractice Grou , meeting e$ery week or e$ery cou le of weeks in your local community %uring an% after artici ation in the rest of the curriculum an% stay in it on an ongoing basis thereafter. 8ach of these meetings has a core set of ractices on an ongoing basis4 grou meditation at the beginning of e$ery session, some yoga or 0Dance "oga for the #nsane,0 grou work, hot seat work, an% work in airs. Tutorials, chat rooms, conference calls, an% arties e)ist on an ongoing basis for su ort of ractices between sessions. J. 8nroll in a Trainers' #ntensi$e if you are intereste% in hel ing con%uct the work an% e$entually making art or all of your li$ing by running 5a%ical Honesty &orksho s. >. ,reate your life an% contribute to other eo le until you %ie. The o$erall goals are that by the en% of each artici ant's learning series4
8ach erson has brought something into being in their life that they can oint to as their own creation that %i%n't e)ist four or fi$e months before, an% * community of su orti$e frien%s has been forme%. # am regularly lea%ing trainings in @irginia, an% we at 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises hea%(uarters are coaching Dractice Grou lea%ers aroun% the country. *s we all learn together how to make a community of frien%s work again, an% maybe how to make a really honest community work for the first time on a large scale, we e) ect to create miracles in the community of the worl%. # am really ha y to be in this work an% feel lucky to ha$e the chance to work with such great eo le who teach me o$er an% o$er again the $alue of sharing information about how life really is. &e are taking on the roblem of raising a generation of human beings the worl% o$er who are re are% to lo$e an% share with other human beings. # ha$e %eclare% the ur ose of my life is to bring about the ossibility of a lifetime of lay an% ser$ice for e$ery human being on the lanet. * lot of eo le ha$e 'oine% me. ,ome lay with us an% we'll ser$e each other an% see if, out of this, the reorgani?ation of the worl% will occur. Dart three, which follows, shows in a ste by ste fashion how the reorgani?ation of your life can contribute to the reorgani?ation of the worl% so that the whole thing works better for all of us.
P#rt Three: Cre#tin) Your O-n De$tin%9The Wor.5oo. !or Li!e De$i)n Introduction to P#rt Three: The Wor.5oo. !or Li!e De$i)n
This workbook section is about the real work of honesty an% free%om. #t also %escribes a metho% of creating a new culture to li$e in, one that transcen%s the culture in which you were raise%. Honesty with others creates free%om from being embroile% in managing other eo le's im ressions of you, which is one of the main things that kee s you tra e% in your own min%. 01aking it0 in a culture is usually %e en%ent u on making a goo% im ression with others so that you are acce te%. #t is also something that takes a lot of energy. &hen you (uit managing im ressions, the energy you use% to burn for that becomes newly a$ailable to create your life base% on what you want. !nce you ha$e the courage to li$e com letely out lou% an% ha$e esca e% the 'ail of your min%, you can use your min% to %o the work of this section. "ou can use your min% to kee yourself from falling back into the neurotic sur$i$al skills of that $ery same min% by li$ing into a $ision an% creating in the resent from your $ision of the future rather than from reaction to the ast. Deli$erance from the suffering cause% by being tra e% in your min% begins by being groun%e% in your e) erience. The minimum fun%amental re(uirements for groun%ing in your e) erience are regular solitary me%itation, the inter ersonal me%itation known as ra%ical honesty, an% a%%itional ongoing ractices like yoga, martial arts, or hysical e)ercise with awareness. !nce you are ca able of maintaining being groun%e% in your e) erience, you can transcen% your min% an% use it as a tool to
create your life in whate$er ways you want to %ream u . Free%om comes from refusing to hi%e. "ou come out from un%er your bushel basket an% show yourself by asserting your references. &hen you create something, you assert what you want without 'ustifying, e%iting, or withhol%ing anything. #n the rocess of creating base% on clear communication about what you want to bring about in your life, you e) erience free%om. The toughest art of learning ra%ical honesty comes when you hea% out into the worl% to li$e it. "our min%'s uni(ue sur$i$al strategy, so erfectly forme%, will imme%iately begin to reassert itself as the %ominant control in your life. .ike a com uter with a circular rogram, you will run that rogram o$er an% o$er again an% still be mystifie% as to why the same results are ha ening o$er an% o$er again. &ith the hel that comes from communicating your intentions to others, an% in the rocess of asserting yourself, these usually %ysfunctional rograms will come right to the surface an% you will ha$e the o ortunity to see them in action, then go ahea% an% li$e into them an% use them. /ltimately you want to use your limiting rackets rather than be use% by them. This section gui%es you through the rocess of utting your references on a er an% taking the first ste s of asserting yourself to the worl%. The big icture is the umbrella ro'ects mo%el, a tool to organi?e your life in a %irection you choose. This is a mo%el to use to make your life an act of creation rather than a system of 0sur$i$al in s ite of0 your early chil%hoo% training. *s -te hen ,o$ey says in 0-e$en Habits of Highly 8ffecti$e Deo le,0a highly functioning human being o erates from consciously chosen $alues an% conscious %esign. This whole workbook section %etails a way to %o that. #f you hit a s ot that seems to be tough sle%%ing, you're %oing goo% work. Bee after it. -tay in con$ersation with other eo le. Fin% a frien% who wants to %o ro'ect writeu s with youH you two can su ort each other. The 'ourney of a thousan% miles begins with thousan%s of ste s, so go for it.
(*+ A Pro)r#''#tic A&&ro#ch To Per$on# 3ro-th
51"olution proceeds not through adaptation but through creati"ity. We must create who we want to be, rather than merely imitate what we ha"e recently been.5 7 1arianne &illiamson *fter we ha$e transcen%e% the ol% ara%igm that limite% who we consi%er oursel$es to be, an% ha$e foun% ractices to groun% us in the reality of our resent e) erience, an% we continually ractice those ractices, we also nee% to gi$e our min% some work to %o, or else it will reca ture the s ace we ha$e free% u . #n the following cha ters co$ering The &orkbook for .ife Design curriculum, you will learn how work can come to be lay an% how to create with the a%%e% ower of a community of su ort, hel ing you to 0source0 resourcefulness. The en% result is to create a life through a way
of speaking and listening that makes things happen in the direction you planned. This is not %one by controlling yourself an% mani ulating other eo le to li$e u to your e) ectations the way ol%C ara%igm moti$ational s eakers a%$ocate. #t is %one by s eaking an% listening honestly an% clearly as an a%$ocate for an e)citing $ision you are committe% to bringing into reality. There is a way of s eaking that only comes from e)cite% %etachment. That s eaking is obsessional. #t is also %etache%. <ou $ant to *et bsessed and <ou $ant to %tay bsessed /o you know how many *uddhists it takes to change a light bulb= Three. One to change the bulb. One to not change the bulb. One to neither change the bulb nor not change the bulb. Belief is the enemy of consciousness. That bal%Chea%e% guy who's always stealing my stuff, ;Ben &ilburH in an inter$iew< sai%, 0#t's not the truth that will set you free, it's truthfulness.0 # coul%n't ha$e sai% it better myself. Truthfulness sets you free. Truthfulness about beliefs sets you free from unconscious %omination by beliefs you ha$e come to think are reality. Then, once you are free of the illusion that beliefs are real, you can choose to be consciously %ominate% by beliefs you know are not real. "ou surren%er7by choice7to a%%iction. &e are all a%%icte% to belief. ,onsciousness of a%%iction allows for a ers ecti$e that unconscious a%%iction %oes not. #t seems $ery strange to me, but true, that goo% obsessional beha$ior comes from %etachment. Take, for e)am le, some of my beliefs4 Belief is the enemy of consciousness. Truthfulness will set you free. The intimacy that comes from honesty is more li$ely an% a%$enturous than the attem t to maintain security by lying. Deo le who tell the truth about what they think an% feel an% %o are able to work together more ha ily an% more effecti$ely than eo le who %on't. Free%om is a sychological accom lishment. Free%om is %etachment from unconscious %omination by the reacti$e min% an% by belief. The goo% life is a life of owerful creation with frien%s. Dower to make a worl% that works for e$eryone comes from eo le who lo$e each other an% share common beliefs without too much attachment to those beliefs. Deo le who are obsesse% together with making a contribution to other eo le an% each other, can %o so in a totally committe% an% at the same time com letely nonchalant way. +ow, how %oes my obsession with these beliefs e)em lify %etachment6 The attachment to those beliefs enough to list them shows that # am committe% to these beliefs. # s en% a great %eal of my life's energy o erating accor%ing to them an% ro agating them in the worl%. % ha"e harnessed being obsessed with these beliefs through the surrender allowed by choosing. # %i% this by choosing consciously to %o what # ha$e been con%emne% to %o, 'ust like -isy hus transforme% hell by choosing to %o what he ha% been con%emne% to %o. Base% on many e) eriences of liberation, # ha$e come to belie$e these
things an% ha$e chosen with great enthusiasm to ass them on. # am totally committe%. # am nonchalant at the same time. # know these are only beliefs # am obsesse% with. They are not real or holyH they are 'ust useful. They are not the only beliefs a$ailable or the one true set, nor are they to be worshi e%. # am totally committe%, but at the same time utterly nonchalant about ro$ing them or %efen%ing them or making them real or making them come true. 2ose h &esley 1athews was a great ,hristian theologian who was in charge of the ,hristian Faith an% .ife ,ommunity on the cam us of the /ni$ersity of Te)as in the late 1>AK's an% early 1>MK's. He later became the hea% of the 8cumenical #nstitute of ,hicago, which became the research an% %e$elo ment wing of the &orl% ,ouncil of ,hurches. He was the first man to tell me that it was ossible to be totally committe% an% com letely nonchalant at the same time. # think he learne% it from Daul Tillich, another of the great min%s of the FKth century. ,arlos ,astene%a ha% Don 2uan tell me, in ?ourney to %!tlan, about the ossibility of what he calle% controlled abandon7that com lete an% %e%icate% an% unswer$ing attention to being im eccable while at the same time surren%ering com letely. That, he sai%, has something to %o with ower. &erner 8rhar% an% his associates, in all the rograms they %esigne% an% that ha$e grown out of his original im etus, ha$e stresse% both im eccability an% surren%er. # ha$e learne% by stan%ing on the shoul%ers of these giants that not only is it ossible, it is much more owerful, to be com letely gi$en o$er to creating with e$ery ounce of strength an% attention # can muster, while at the same time being erfectly willing to ha$e things turn out howe$er fate %ictates. # remember clearly a articular moment of feeling much more ca able, in the general mo$ement to en% nuclear roliferation. Back when the atomic clock that showe% how close we were to the mi%night of final nuclear holocaust sai% it was now ten minutes to twel$e, a frien% of mine, ,harles 8rickson, sai%, 0&ell, we all ha$e to %ie anyway. # guess it's not so ba% if we all %o it together.0 Hearing that was a relief. -ome of the %es erate sense of obligation to hurry u an% %o something to sa$e the worl% %isa eare%. The liberation of acknowle%ging that the ossibility of the en% of humankin% was not necessarily something we ha% to run aroun% trying hysterically to a$oi%, allowe% for so much more free%om from that oint forwar%. # s rea% that con$ersation all o$er the lace, an% so %i% others, an% # belie$e the whole con$ersation about the ossibility of not en%ing the worl% through nuclear ignorance grew by lea s an% boun%s after that. &hat we coul% communicate then was something like this4 0# woul% rather, as a reference, li$e an% ha$e my offs ring an% my offs ring's offs ring an% the whole human e) eriment continue, but that may not ha en. &e may wi e oursel$es out. That's okay, too. But, gi$en that we refer the former outcome, an% you robably %o too, what shoul% we %o to ensure bringing it about6 .et's focus obsessi$ely about how to %o that for a while an% then let's be obsesse% with the %oing of it. But let's be obsesse% with a little %etachment, gi$en that we are all going to %ie
anyway an% it woul%n't be all that ba% to %o it together.0 *t the same time that # am now gi$ing my %ays an% nights an% energy to accom lish the %eli$erance of all human beings from the 'ail of belief, it %oesn't really ha$e to ha en. #n fact, # think it is e)actly the same as the situation we face% with nuclear roliferation %uring the ,ol% &ar. &e are still face% with e)tinction by a threat e$en greater than the bomb. The bomb is 'ust a smallCtime instrument of %estruction com are% to the o$erall %estructi$e ower of attachment to beliefs in the ol% ara%igm system of to C%own management. &ithout the nonchalance that comes from knowing the %ifference between our beliefs an% sensate reality, we become -hiite 1oslems or Ba tists or fun%amentalists of some kin% looking for the chance to kill or %ie for our beliefs in an attem t to make them real. &e become -erbian towns eo le who %on black masks an% force their lifetimeCneighbor *lbanians out of their homes, stri ing them of their legal i%entities an% aban%oning them to shelterless, col%, an% unsanitary fiel%s, or killing them without remorse. # belie$e, when # confess beliefs as im ortant but not real, that the %istinction between belief an% reality7the %etachment from the obligation to ro$e my beliefs are real7allows me to choose the beliefs that use me. # belie$e that knowing that my beliefs are beliefs, an% not reality, allows me to resent them to other eo le as merely a recommen%e% set of o tions that are somewhat counter to common knowle%ge but ossibly more functional. # am obsesse% with getting these beliefs about belief asse% aroun% in the worl%. # am obsesse% with teaching an% learning through ractice how to o erate using these beliefs. # %o not think that these beliefs are reality. # %o not think these beliefs are holy. They are 'ust beliefs, not reality. # am obsesse% with the ossibility of teaching the worl% the wis%om of not making beliefs holy. # am obsesse% with teaching the worl% the ossibility of choosing to ha$e these beliefs be what uses them, rather than being used by con"entional beliefs in belief as reality. This story from #n%ia is (uite a $ision of controlle% aban%on through transcen%ing futility. ;Tales from #n%ia< The Bo%hisatt$a *$alokites$ara looke% %own into the many hells an% saw they were fille% with suffering beings. * great $ow s ontaneously arose in his heart. 0# will liberate all beings from the sufferings of the hells,0 he sai%. *n% so through countless ages he labore%, %escen%ing into an% em tying hell after hell, until the unimaginable task was at last %one. The great Bo%hisatt$a cease% then from his eons of heroic e)ertion. He wi e% the glistening %iamon%s of bea%e% sweat from his brow, an%, looking %own into the em ty hells, smile%. #t was %one. Here an% there a curling wis of smoke still rose u . +ow an% then, in some $ast ca$ern far below, faint echoes soun%e% as a loose brick shifte% on a ile of rubble. But the raging fires ha% been (uenche% an% the great iron caul%rons were (uiet. -weet silence flowe% through the %ark halls. 8$en the %emons were gone
for they too, in the en%, ha% been release%, liberate% to the hea$ens, by the mighty efforts of the ,om assionate !ne. But what was this6 -u%%enly, there came a wailing scream, then another, an% another. Flames lea t, clou%s of smoke whirle%, bloo%Cfille% caul%rons bubble% ma%ly. The ra%iant smile fa%e% from the Bo%hisatt$a's face. !nce again the hells were entirely fille%. #n less than an instant all was e)actly as it ha% been before. The heart of the Bo%hisatt$a fille% with sorrow. -u%%enly, his hea% s lit into many hea%s. His arms shattere% into many arms. The one thousan% hea%s looke% in all %irections to see the sufferings of e$ery being. The one thousan% arms were enough to reach any realm, to sa$e those in nee%. 5olling u his one thousan% slee$es, the great Bo%hisatt$a settle% %own once more to the unen%ing task. "he 6nending "ask Hell continually recreates itself by making e) eriential reality into beliefs an% then substituting those beliefs for reality. Hell is being lost in the min%. &e are %eli$ere% from the 'ail of our min%s into the hea$en of e) eriential reality an% then we recon$ert that reality into the hell of the belief 'ail again. # am a futilitarian. #t's a religion # in$ente%. Futilitarians belie$e that there is no use trying to gi$e u belief because you sim ly can't, an% that belie$ing in anything is futile. That is what allows for %etachment from belief. The free%om that comes from the affirmation of futility is unbelie$able. ;Dun inten%e%.< &hat gi$es futilitarians so much energy is we %on't nee% a articular result in or%er to be ha y. &e are ha y for no reason at all. &e know there is no reason to be ha y. &e were going to ha$e annual con$entions like most grou s, but when we got together to lan it, we thought, 0*h, what's the use6 Ha$ing meetings is com letely futile.0 -o we ga$e u , an% now ha$e an annual uncon$ention instea%. # am working on finishing this book now an% # am obsesse% with it. # belie$e this is the best book # ha$e e$er written. # like being obsesse%. # think it is a goo% thing. # belie$e in being obsesse%. # belie$e a goo% way to li$e is to get obsesse% an% stay obsesse%. # think it is best to %o this with %etachment. # am obsesse% with the $ision # am trying to articulate in this book an% at the same time bring it into being in reality through a new cor oration we ha$e forme%, calle% 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises, #nc. !ur main o$erall $ision is of a /ni$ersity for .i$ing base% on the mo%el of ersonal growth from en%arkenment to enlightenment for in%i$i%uals an% societies. #t is a $ision of the growing on u of the whole interconnecte% worl% of humankin%. The curriculum that unifies all our rograms is base% on the image of ersonal e$olution shown in Figure F in the following flashlight beam mo%el. #t ictures how we all grow in our life together, beginning with belie$ing our own in$ente% stories about our li$es an% rogressing to li$ing in a community of nonCbelie$ers who interru t each others' min%s for the benefit of each other's beings.
" o u a r e li$ in g a s t o r y n o t o f y o u r o w n c r e a tio n AND y o u b e li e $ e y o u c a n W fig u r e it o u t. X
" o u a r e li$ in g in a s t o r y n o t o f y o u r o w n c r e a tio n , a n % y o u k n o w it . AND + o w a n % th e n , y o u h a $ e e ) e r ie n c e s o f b e in g o u t s i% e y o u r b e lie fs . " o u n o t ic e a n % r e m e m b e r t h e s e e ) e r ie n c e s .
" o u a r e li$ in g i n a s t o r y n o t o f y o u r o w n m a k in g
" o u a r e in t e g r a t in g b o t h s to r ie s a n % r o g r a m m in g r e li e f
" o u b e lo n g to a c o m m u n it y o f n o n C b e lie $ e r s
BUT y o u a r e a ls o in $ e n t in g a n e w s to r y a n % h a $ e m o r e a c c u m u la t e % m e m o r ie s o f e ) e r ie n c e s th a t tra n s c e n % e % y o u r s to ry .
AND
AND
y o u e ) e r ie n c e c o n s is t e n t m e % ita t io n a n % fr e ( u e n t, h o n e s t s h a r in g .
a s a n in % e a n % in te r % e b e in g , y o u in a c o m m u frie n % s w h o e a c h o th e r.
en%ent en%ent a r t ic i a t e n ity o f in t e r r u t
Fi)ure *+ Fro' Be ie! to Non25e ie! The Ne- Uni"er$it% #n the ol% ara%igm system, an un%ergra%uate e%ucation consiste% of an attem t to gi$e a%olescents a balance% o$er$iew of the humanities, science, an% liberal arts an% then an area of focus or 0ma'or0 to s eciali?e in. The general %irection was to be able to make a li$ing by %oing what you were intereste% in after a sufficient re$iew of the ossibilities. This was not a ba% i%ea an% it still works to a limite% e)tent when teachers who ha$e the whole $ision of that system's intent are in charge. The new ara%igm uni$ersity is more focuse% on how to li$e than on how to make a li$ing. The new uni$ersity is %irecte% towar% the sychological accom lishment calle% free%om. Dersonal growth as an ongoing lifestyle %oes ha$e stages that can be %elineate% an% su orte% with information an% rocesses that further the action. This mo%el of the new uni$ersity for li$ing is what the ,enter for 5a%ical Honesty rograms su ort. The !mega #nstitute, 5owe ,onference ,enter, 8salen #nstitute, The .earning *nne), an% many other growth centers o erate more consistently within this mo%el than within the ol%er mo%el. Table 1 lays out stages of %e$elo ment from 0The #llusion of ,ontrol0 to 0* .ife of .o$ing an% ,reating.0 These stages of growth in community are a uni$ersal mo%el ha$ing to %o with all %e$elo mental work. !ur rograms, which are %esigne% to hel with the transitions, are i%entifie% in the far right column. T#5 e ( Fro' I u$ion to Cre#tion N#'e o! St#)e St#te o! ,indG St#te o! Bein) Tr#inin) Content R#dic# Hone$t% Pro)r#' -tage 14 The #llusion of ,ontrol Bee ing u an% 'u%gingH 'u%ging an% kee ing u . Belief that 'u%gments are real. 8) licit teaching about the illusion of control. Distinguishing between noticing an% thinking. #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty ;twoC%ay worksho < -tage F4 ,om letion 1eeting with eo le from the ast to tell the truth about what was
withhel%. Gestalt hot seat work, grou rocess work, life story telling, awareness e)ercises. Homework in the real worl%. ,ourse in Honesty ;eightC %ay worksho < an% homework -tage G4 Dara%igm of the 5elati$ity of Dara%igms .i$ing more out lou%, focusing on en%ing the an)ietyCbase% life, getting o$er anger, forgi$eness .ife is 'ust sensational trainingH mo%eling %etachment. Bleene)L mo%el for ara%igms4 use one an% throw it away. ,ourse in Forgi$eness -tage 44 1in%fulness an% #ntimacy De$elo ing skills in me%itation, noticing, an% min%fulnessH articulating the noticing -haring what you notice with others becomes the foun%ation of intimacy. -hare% ro'ects an% mutual coaching. ,ourse in ,reating -tage A4 Groun%less Being an% That's !kay 5es onsible in%i$i%uality an% in%i$i%ual res onsibility ,hange of rimary i%entity from erformerCnoticer to noticerC erformer. Becoming i%entifie% with being. *ll the cumulati$e courses an% Trainer's Trainings -tage M4 * .ife of .o$ing an% ,reating !ngoing res on%ing to an% coCcreating with others Dro'ect creation an% ro'ect management with lo$e an% without attachment to results. Trainers' Trainings an% ,oaching This chart summari?es the stages of ersonal growth an% the assistance offere% to birth each stage. &e start from the isolation we all learn in a%olescence ;when we ha$e com lete% substituting belief for reality an% are li$ing almost e)clusi$ely in our min%s<, an% rogress towar% com assionate artici ation in community. "he #ourse in Honesty To bring ali$e what is outline% in the chart, an% to make it useful to you whether you e$er %o any of our courses or not, # will %escribe what ha ens %uring the ,ourse in Honesty. -i)teen eo le get together on a -atur%ay morning an% make some agreements about what they will %o together for the ne)t eight %ays. !ne of the most im ortant agreements is that they will tell the truth to each other com letely for the ne)t eight %ays. #f that was all that occurre%, an% there were no other agen%a whatsoe$er, the course woul% be owerful because the ower of that alone is incre%ible. The agen%a for each %ay goes something like this4 we all start with yoga from P4GK to J4GK, me%itate together until J4AK, then run a cou le of miles or %o alternati$e aerobic acti$ity for FK minutes or so. &e %o this because yoga an% me%itation an% e)ercise ut you in touch with e) eriential reality. Breakfast is a$ailable from >4KK to 1K4KK an% there is time for a shower. Then the entire grou meets from 1K4KK to F4KK with occasional 1ACminute breaks. The content of the meetings $aries, but generally inclu%es Gestalt hot seat work, lectures, %irecte% con$ersations, aire% e)ercises, small grou e)ercises, an% other training geare% towar% the %istinction between noticing an% thinking for all artici ants.
.unch is at F4KK followe% by a break until A4KK, %uring which time artici ants me%itate for the secon% time each %ay, as they ha$e agree% to %o. They can also take a na , interact with others, rea% assigne% material, write in a 'ournal, an% so on. &e %o our secon% me%itation in%i$i%ually %uring that break. From A4KK to J4KK we meet again, often watching feature length mo$ies like (ecrets and 'ies, 'ittle *ig 4an, 4y /inner with &ndr@, *agdad #afe, The ;arate ;id, The 1nglishman Who Went -p a +ill and #ame /own a 4ountain, %kiru or other films selecte% on the basis of re resenting what # call abnormal mental health. Generally they are stories of eo le who were able to remain sane while the society aroun% them was cra?y. *t J4KK we break for su er. From >4KK to 114KK we hear two life stories. 8ach erson s en%s an hour telling the whole story of their life, which is $i%eota e%. * timekee er rom ts the storyteller e$ery fifteen minutes an% a little time is left at the en% for eo le to ask (uestions to get the honest %etails. Before this worksho is o$er, e$ery artici ant hears e$eryone else's life story, tells their own, an% recei$es their $i%eota e to use later to start con$ersations with arents, e) s ouses, brothers, sisters, lo$ers, an% frien%s with whom they ha$e unfinishe% business in life. *lso, about the fifth %ay of the worksho , e$eryone gets nake% in the hot tub room. !ne erson at a time stan%s u in front of a mirror an% talks about what they like an% %on't like about their bo%y. This is also $i%eota e%. Then they tell their se)ual history7when they first foun% out that they were a se)ual beingH when they first masturbate%H whether they like %oing it with men or women or $egetables, animals, or mineralsH how many eo le of each gen%er they ha$e ha% se) withH their best an% worst se)ual e) eriencesH an% so on. 8ach artici ant stan%s nake% in front of us, recounting these %etails while being $i%eota e%, until we who are listening an% watching ;an% also nake%< feel they are no longer embarrasse%. They often are embarrasse%, but with goo% coaching an% ersistence an% com lete sharing of the truth they get o$er it. 8$eryone always thinks this will be a se)y e) erience. -o far, it has ne$er been $ery se)y at all. 1ostly it is about embarrassment an% shame an% suffering more than leasure, an% about how a$oi%ance of all those as ects often controls our li$es. The ne)t %ay, we re$iew the $i%eota es together. 8ach erson sits ne)t to the $i%eo screen when their image a ears, obser$es their segment of ta e, an% recei$es fee%back. The rocess of watching themsel$es on tele$ision, nake%, while talking about their se) li$es is a more confrontational rocess for some eo le than the original e) erience of stan%ing nake% before the grou . *gain, the willingness to face the e) erience an% li$e through it ro$i%es a %ecrease in the intensity of the sensations relate% to shame an% a change in ers ecti$e on their own life in the %irection of com assion for themsel$es as well as others. *s you can imagine, by the fifth or si)th %ay, eo le get to know each other retty well. &hat ha ens, an% it ha ens o$er an% o$er again with $ery %i$erse grou s of eo le, is the same e$ery time. 8$eryone falls in
lo$e with e$eryone else. The $ery eo le who were categori?e% as 'erks the first %ay are the same eo le who, 'ust a few %ays later, ha$e their greatest enemy an% most se$ere 'u%ge ut an arm aroun% them an% say something like4 0Bless your heart: "ou'$e come through some really har% times. "ou ha$e a lot of courage. Goo% for you: "ou're 'ust like me. # ha% no i%ea we were so much alike. *ren't we funny6 *ren't we athetic6 #sn't life strange6 # 'ust lo$e you to ieces:0 When people really get to know each other, in detail, they fall in lo"e with each other. +ow, isn't that a hell of a thing6 #magine all that time waste% utting on airs, in ho es that someone woul% lo$e us for our act, when all we nee%e% to %o was %ro the act an% tell the truth: Because e$eryone $ery much likes being in lo$e, e$en though afrai% of it because of the unfamiliarity an% $ulnerability, the (uestion arises, 0&hat can we %o to sustain this feeling of connecte%ness60 Here lies a lace of great %anger. Here is where the min% makes its first attem t to take control an% make assessments an% 'u%gments an% %etermine how to hold on to something. Here is the critical oint. #f we are going to remain enlightene% an% ali$e, we ha$e to %o it without hol%ing on too tight. #f we try too har% to reser$e something like this, we kill it. That is what a min% is for. 1aking %ea% memories more im ortant that the li$ing resent is one of the functions of a min%. 1aking obligations out of ast 'oys is the kin% of thing any min% knows how to %o an% will %o at the %ro of a hat. That is what makes the min% such a kill'oy. The curriculum for the continuation of the work beyon% this oint re(uires a builtCin metho% for correcting itself or it will surely go awry. That curriculum in$ol$es the continuous com letion of unfinishe% business from the ast an% kee ing u with honesty %ay to %ay. #t also in$ol$es consciously %esigning an% creating with frien%s. !ur reunion grou s, which meet three months an% si) months after the en% of the ,ourse in Honesty, are calle% the ,ourse in Forgi$eness an% the ,ourse in ,reation. They ha$e a curriculum inten%e% to su ort artici ants in continuing the ractices that enable% their original authentic contact. #t is %esigne% to assure continual renewal rather than sentimentali?ing recious memories. ngoing #ommunity &hether the ongoing connection between eo le to interru t each others' min%s an% create together ha ens within the conte)t of our articular training rogram or in someone else's rogram is not im ortant. &hat is im ortant is that a certain e$olution of consciousness is occurring an% we e) erience a certain 'oining together of eo le who ha$e come to un%erstan% an% connect with each other at a %ee er le$el. *s 1arianne &illiamson so elo(uently says in +ealing the (oul of &merica. 0This renaissance will come from neither the .eft nor the 5ight. #t is neither a bri%ge to the ast nor a bri%ge to the future, but a bri%ge to who we most %ee ly are. The bri%ge to a better future is a shift in mass consciousness, to a art of oursel$es we ha$e ten%e% to kee out of the ublic realm.9who we are when we are hushe% in church, near tears when they blow the shofar on
(0+ Con!rontin) The P#$t To 3et Co'& ete And H#"e Ener)% To Cre#te
"om Bi ur, honest an% $ulnerable with our thera ist. #t is the art of us least acknowle%ge%, maintaine%, or seemingly e$en $alue% at all by the social or%er we ha$e create% aroun% us.0 The ne)t se$eral cha ters go into %etail about one way of using a min% in organi?ing a life so it has better o%%s of staying in lo$e an% out of the 'ail of categories an% reactions. These cha ters can be use% to create a life among frien%s whether you %o worksho s or trainings with us or not. Dlease feel free to 'oin us or try this on your own. "ou may make a bunch of mistakes an% learn many $aluable things, an% if you want some coaching gi$e us a call.
The first ste to creating your own %estiny is to com lete some of your ma'or incom letions from the ast. "ou ha$e to go talk seriously with your arents, ol% flames, e)Cs ouses, brothers an% sisters, an% lost frien%s an% any other re$iously unresol$e% se arations. Go wake u all the slee ing %ogs an% %on't let them lie anymore. # suggest a systematic metho%ology for this an% ha$e many e)am les of eo le who ha$e %one it before. Take, for e)am le, this email # recei$e% recently. Bra%, # a reciate you for sharing with me i%eas that ha$e fuele% a rocketClike takeoff in my life. Here's a summary of what's been ha ening for me since the last 5eunion Grou meeting. 1y first ro'ect was making my business ;Teaching @iolin< be the way # want it to be. -tu%ents now come for three in%i$i%ual lessons an% two grou lessons er month, an% it works out so # ha$e one week er month free from work. # re%esigne% my grou $iolin classes to reflect what # care about7a%%ing bo%y awareness ;yoga, Fel%enkreis, an% so on<, im ro$isation, creati$e $isuali?ation, music history, an% lots else. The classes are fun to lan an% con%uct, an% #'m getting wellC ai% in the rocess. +e)t # took on getting %i$orce%. 1y goal was to be frien%s with *rnol%, an% to ro$i%e a stable home for our ki%s. &e succee%e% big time. &e are %i$orce% as of December, are best frien%s, an% still li$ing together. 1y ki%s ha$e ne$er been as together as they are now. &e're thinking of writing a book calle% ABBA ,latonic /ates. 1y ne)t ro'ect was fin%ing lo$er;s<. The uni$erse ro$i%e% again, with a guy who is blowing me away with new se)ual e) eriences, as well as lausible backu s in case this relationshi blows u . 8nclose% is one of the letters # wrote him in res onse to him sharing fears about his history of romising more than he can %eli$er in relationshi s an% hurting eo le as a result. # imagine you will notice your influence. Dear 5al h,
!ne of my goals for 1>>> is to fin% an% %iscar% ol% mental baggage. 8) eriencing life with my baggage %etector switche% on hel s me fin% it. For e)am le, # notice as # write to you that #'m feeling insecure about you fin%ing my thoughts te%ious. &here woul% such an i%ea come from6 Drobably not from anything you'$e %one or sai%. # imagine it might ha$e something to %o with the fact that my mom %oesn't %o rocess $ery well. The only acce table utterances in my chil%hoo% home seeme% to me to be cheerful ones, so # stuffe% my concerns an% reflections. Being aware of that baggage, # can go ahea% an% write an% sen% %es ite my insecurity, waiting for you to cry uncle if you choose. That's new for meH # use% to kee my thoughts ri$ate, to *rnol%'s chagrin. This year #'m an eagle, obser$ing the worl% an% s eaking my truth, soaring on the win%s. # in$ite you to s eak your truth with me, to share your unfiltere% feelings %ayCbyC%ay, e$en if that means breaking my heart if your ositi$e feelings for me ebb away. First of all, #'$e ne$er been re'ecte% by a lo$er, an% #'m collecting $arie% life e) eriences. -econ%, though # felt guilty at the time # re'ecte% *rnol% as a lo$er, # look back on that as an act of integrity an% kin%ness. He's grown enormously through the rocess of %ealing with his broken heart. Thir%, my heart was broken by my father's re'ection, an% may nee% to be broken again in or%er to be reset better than e$er as a healing grownCu . To use Har$ille Hen%ri)'s ara%igm, #'$e come into my own with my mother as a result of my struggle with *rnol%. They are both car%Ccarrying members of the thought olice if you let them be. +ow it's time for me to come into my own with res ect to my %a%. *s a strong match for my %a%'s imago, you're the lucky one to hel me with this ro'ect. -o again, be yourself. # chose to let you into my heart knowing full well your history with women. # am not an innocent $ictim. !f course, # say all this as # chart unfamiliar territory. # am not use% to allowing myself feelings of %ee caring for men. #t may hurt so much when we se arate that # choose not to %o this 0inClo$eCwith0 routine to myself again. But at least #'ll know that much more about life. # am unlikely to try to sa%%le you with blameH it's not my style. 1y guess is that beyon% the hurt feelings, we will be frien%s again. -tatistically s eaking, # may be more likely to lea$e you than be left, %es ite my more intense feelings. # say that because # am more in transition, ha$ing no i%ea about who # am or what # want now that #'m free of marriage. *m # olyamorous or monogamous, or something else6 &hat's the rhythm of my se)ual %esire outsi%e of that %eca%esClong relationshi 6 &hat sort of eo le am # most attracte% to6 #'m an a%olescent in an a%ult bo%y running loose in the worl%. *n% this isn't e$en consi%ering the baggage factorH my ol% ten%ency to with%raw when # get scare% by lo$e. *ll # can
romise is to beha$e as gently as my skills allow me as # try to li$e a life true to myself. #'m (uite through with li$ing a life go$erne% by 0shoul%s.0 .o$e, Georgia Bra%, this kin% of communication hel s to create a nuclear reaction in my bo%y. -ometimes # won%er if #'m going to get arreste% fully clothe%, there is so much life force coursing though me. 1y ne)t ro'ect is getting closer to my family of origin. #'$e got a %ate line% u with my %a% tonight, an% on -atur%ay #'m going out to ,alifornia, to s en% a week with my sister. #'m organi?ing a threeC%ay reunion in * ril for the women in my e)ten%e% family, inclu%ing my cousins, aunt, an% mother, to talk about how we want to han%le %eath, money, family feu%s, an% other big to ics. -o again, thanks. # look forwar% to seeing you in a few weeks. Georgia #ompletion Leads to #reation #sn't it 'ust won%erful how casually Georgia re orts outstan%ing, lifeC changing, riskCtaking, consciousnessCaltering, free%om making, takingCitCallConC an%CrunningCwithCit life changes6 # ha$e hear% lots of these stories from gra%uates of 5a%ical Honesty worksho s. #n the worksho s, we ha$e %e$elo e% a series of e)ercises that lea% to more free%om. #f you can't come to a ,ourse in Honesty, gi$e these a try in a 5a%ical Honesty Dractice Grou you organi?e yourself4 E@erci$e (. @i%eota e telling the whole story of your life to a grou of frien%s. *nswer all (uestions honestly an% get it all on ta e. Do this in about an hour or an% hour an% a half. ! en u an% tell it like it is for you. E@erci$e *. -how the ta e to your arents, s ouses, brothers, sisters, best frien%s, an% your chil%ren o$er twel$e years of age. #n the %iscussions that follow, tell the truth about your resentments an% a reciations of all the eo le who watch your ta e an% tell them you inten% to forgi$e them whether they agree that they are guilty or not, an% hol% the intention to forgi$e them before you (uit the con$ersation. Focus on how you feel in your bo%y to be able to tell whether you are com lete. &hen you feel rela)e% with energy an% you are not a$oi%ing eye contact or %rea%ing what might ha en ne)t, you are com lete. &hen you are tense an% aranoi% you are not through yet. #f it takes more than one meeting, go back. *bout ninety ercent of the time, beginning an honest %iscussion works to entirely renew the relationshi . #t %oesn't work all the time to renew all relationshi s. #f it %oesn't renew the relationshi with some of the eo le in$ol$e%, it can still work for you ersonally. +ot e$eryone in the worl% is u to forgi$eness an% com letion. #f they %on't get o$er your resenting them or hurting their feelings, be as com assionate as you can without com romising your integrity. #f you ersist, they may come aroun%. #f not,
(4+ P #nnin) The Future So You Re'#in C# ed Forth Fro' Your ,ind
you'$e lost an a(uaintance who %i%n't ha$e the courage to be a frien%. *s we say in our commercial for 5a%ical Honesty, maybe one of the worl%'s few honest commercials4 05a%ical Honesty: #t works retty goo%:91ost of the time:0 ,om letion of unfinishe% business from the ast creates the s ace for a new beginning. The courage to tell the truth an% li$e out lou% an% tell the truth about e$ents an% feelings an% 'u%gments from the ast is critically im ortant to becoming a creator of your life in the future. #f you are willing to bring u im ortant unfinishe% business with im ortant eo le from your ast, whether they want to or not, they will almost always en% u a%miring you for it. #f you are unwilling to risk their ossible alienation by telling what you remember %oing an% ha$ing ha% %one to you, what you think, an% what you feel from the ast, you maintain constraints to being a creator in your future. Ha$ing the ower to create your life the way you want it with the hel of others an% then be able to en'oy what you ha$e %one with them %e en%s on your courage to com lete the ast. The goo% news is, once you ha$e face% the unfinishe% business, you can begin lanning an% %esigning a new future with new ower an% free%om. The ba% news is, until you com lete unfinishe% issues, owerful creation is se$erely inhibite%. Go back an% tell the truth. Go back again. Go back until you are finishe% with your story or finishe% with the erson or both.
Breakthroughs in learning that liberate you from your min% are initially e) eriences that bring insights, then insights that hel for a while, an% then they become yester%ay's reconstructe% memories. !nce that occurs, the breakthrough is use% u . For the (uality of your life to be goo%, breakthroughs from mind to being must constantly recur. !nce your min% has reconstructe% its memory of a liberating insight, it is mostly no longer liberating. The min% makes things stale fairly (uickly. That is why we know better than to trust nostalgic lo$e stories. +ostalgia ain't what it use% to be. .o$e either recurs or it en%s. * memory of lo$e is not lo$e. Deo le who are more concerne% about belief than e) erience ten% to %ominate an% control institutions. #nstitutionally %efensi$e eo le hol% tightly to belief out of fear. Defen%ers of belief in the institutions of religion, go$ernment, an% business are the enemies of li$eliness. #f creators %o not constantly reclaim their own go$ernance from the fearful controllers, the human worl% loses its ali$eness an% after that its life. The 'u%ging min% of each in%i$i%ual is arallel to7an% re resentati$e of7the institutions of belief. #t's artists who win. #t's creators who ha$e the goo% life. *rtists are on to of life. ,reators ha$e the courage to be. The artfully li$e% life is consciously %esigne% in an ongoing rocess where disco"ery through sharing is as important or more important than original intent. This means you ha"e to plan a lot and re"ise plans a lot, while keeping the "ision of the end result of your creation continually calling you forth.
Because the min% makes things stale fairly (uickly, we nee% to take on the rocess of continual reCcreation as a lifelong, ermanent task. This means making lans an% writing them %own an% systematically ro'ecting into the future with our imaginations. Then we %o some of the work of the lans an% %is ense with them like Bleene)L tissues, rewrite an% %is ense with them, an% continue. *ttachment to lans can be as much of a restraint to free%om as attachment to i%eals from the ast. 8$entually your life gets a certain rhythm to it4 clear the ast, lan the future, actH clear the ast, lan the future, actH clear the ast, lan the future, act. Being on to of life seems to be the o osite of being o$erwhelme% by life. The ten%ency is strong in all of us to fall back into that 0feeling im ose% u on0 way of being, which is the usual reliable source of anger, %e ression, an% an)iety. These states of min% are $ery familiar to us an% therefore $ery recious. We preser"e them through trying to fi! them. The way to transcen% your limitations is to use them rather than trying to fi) them or change them. /se them to create a life you want, where you li$e, how you want to li$e, an% %oing what you want to %o. 1any of us are caught in a kin% of %es air create% by ho ing for the best. &e like to be lost in a $ague ho e that someone is going to rescue us from res onsibility for our li$es. Go% or the lottery or some sugar %a%%y or mama or a rich uncle or an inheritance or some goo% luck or some wise erson or teaching will finally make it all okay, the way 1om or Da% ne$er %i%. &e'll be ha y an% taken care of an% it won't take anything but belie$ing an% waiting on our art. 1aybe if we're lucky, we think ;in the back of our min%s<, somebo%y will take care of us the way we always shoul% ha$e been taken care of, an% we won't actually ha$e to take care of oursel$es. Belie$ers ha$e e) lanations for what went wrong an% ho e for sal$ation 'ust ahea%. ,reators en'oy consciously going about the work of %esigning an% bringing into being their $ision of whate$er they want to create. /nfortunately, in s ite of how har% we wish for %eli$erance, being on to of life re(uires taking res onsibility for how it goes. This means the work of lanning an% %oing. #t %oesn't mean trying, or %oing the best we can, or getting an * for effort, or whate$er we learne% was im ortant about utting on a goo% show in school. #t isn't ho ing. #t re(uires gi$ing u ho e. #t is not erforming for an au%ience. #t is work. #t is engaging, in$ol$ing, concentrate%, sometimes e)citing, sometimes har%, me%itati$e, more than anything else persistent work. But it is fun. #t is more fun than worrying about being right or not being wrong, etc. Because of what # %o for a li$ing7 sychothera y an% running worksho s about %eli$erance from the unconscious control of the reacti$e min% an% the illusion of control by the reflecti$e min%7# ha$e ha% hun%re%s of o ortunities to witness retreat in the face of the real work of creation. &hen # ask eo le, 0&oul% you like to gi$e u the suffering an% the satisfactions in$ol$e% in being neurotic, being tra e% in the in%ulgence of being a $ictim60 almost e$eryone says, 0"es.0 &hen we finally get to the lace where they un%erstan% how much commitment, intentionality, an% work is re(uire%, some eo le back off an% return to their ol% ways.
Ha$ing someone or something else to blame for how life has been an% how it goes is 'ust too sweet7an% it re(uires less work an% less risk. ,onscious artistry in the creation of the goo% life for any in%i$i%ual re(uires constant centering, constant lanning, an% constant sharing of what you are about in the worl%. &ithout %oing the work it takes to be on to of life, one %oesn't get as many of the breaks, the time off, the erio%s of not guiltiness, an% most es ecially, the results one wants. .ee Tre$ino says, 0Golf is mostly a game of luck, but # fin% if # ractice a lot # ha$e more of it.0 # say, life is mostly a game of luck as well, but the ractice of lanning, an% %oing the lans, is absolutely necessary to increase the o%%s of ha$ing more luck in life. Practices that Lead to More Luck To stay in goo% form in all s orts, you ha$e to lay an% ractice constantly, get coache% continually, kee yourself wellCe(ui e% an% wellC informe% of recent a%$ances in technology an% e(ui ment, an% lay com etiti$ely to %e$elo your skill un%er ressure. #n life you ha$e to lay an% ractice constantly, kee yourself wellCe(ui e% an% wellCinforme% of recent a%$ances, an% it often hel s to make a coo erati$e agreement to com ete an% %e$elo your skills un%er ressure. Ha$ing a coach, an% using the recently %e$elo e% technology you can learn by rea%ing this book or atten%ing our worksho s, also hel s. There are a number of other practices that bring more luck as well. ,lanning is one of the forms of ractice that hel s you ha$e more luck in life. *nother one is yoga. *nother, me%itation. *nother, hysical e)ercise. *nother, kee ing your wor%. *nother, com leting what you start. *nother, creating your en$ironment so it calls you forth. *nother, laughing a lot. *nother, ha$ing meaningful work. *nother, telling the truth. *nother, contributing to an% lo$ing chil%ren. *nother, contributing to an% lo$ing other eo le. *nother, music. *ll of these ractices, an% many more, when they grow naturally out of the compassion that comes from paying attention, hel you ha$e more luck in life. ,lanning is the practice that allows you to practice the other practices. #f you ractice lanning you ha$e more luck, you win more, you increase the o%%s in your fa$or. 5eally goo% lanning takes into account how you can use the skills you ha$e to bring your lans into reality. Dlanning is the beginning of making things ha en accor%ing to my $ision, using the e(ui ment # ha$e e$ol$e% in the course of %efen%ing my image when # thought that image was me. "ou nee% to know yourself well, an% be honest simultaneously with yourself an% others, to make things ha en effecti$ely in alignment with your $ision an% accor%ing to your lan. "our ersonality, %e$elo e% from what ha ene% to you in life an% how you sur$i$e% an% a%a te% to outrageous fate, is the e(ui ment you use to create with. "our neuroses are to be use% to construct a better life for you an% yours. # ha$e finally learne% that taking res onsibility for using my ast neurotic sur$i$al schemes rather than trying to fi) them works better than trying to fi) them. The o%%s are we can't be fi)e%. +obo%y an% no thing is going to make u for how we got treate% as chil%ren. The scars are not going to go
away. &e can use what we ha$e learne% by a%a ting to the ast as a tool to create the future. ,% Li!e The'e$ #nd S.i $: Fro' Stu'5 in) B oc.$ to Ste&&in) Stone$ &hen # was a chil%, # %e$elo e% skills for %ealing with my life circumstances, which re(uire% me to take care of my younger brothers because my mother an% ste father were usually too %runk to %o so. # learne% to be wary, alert, an% (uick to res on% to cues to re%ict moo% an% likely beha$ior changes in alcoholics, so # coul% kee them from killing each other or hurting one of the ki%s. # consi%ere% myself a smart ki% an% a hero an% # coul%n't affor% to a%mit to being scare% an% sorry for myself. *s a sychologically reacti$e, homema%e, in%i$i%ual humanoi%, # en%e% u wanting to hel eo le, take care of them, teach them how to take care of themsel$es, an% show off my erce ti$eness. # resente% eo le if they %i%n't a reciate me a lot, %o what # sai%, an% turn out the way # thought they shoul%. # ha% the %umb luck of my father %ying when # was si) years ol%. 1y brother was four. 1y mother remarrie% when # was se$en to an alcoholic wife beater an% chil% abuser. 1y youngest brother was born when # was nine. Because of this %umb luck, # was raise% in such a way that # became sensiti?e% to subtle cues about human beha$ior, an% # wante% to try to hel eo le who were hurting. # am %esigne% by my life to be a hel er who wants to kee those alrea%y hurt from being hurt more, an% # urchase allegiance by hel ing others. # charge this allegiance to the hel ee in an ine) licit way, such that a $ague sense of obligation bin%s them to me, rotects me from them, an% gets me raise. # am a mani ulati$e, coC%e en%ent, lying sur$i$or. # ha$e here a han%Cbuilt, homeCbuilt set of neurotic sur$i$al techni(ues, my carrie%Caroun%CwithCmeCatCallCtimes way of getting along feeling rotecte% an% sur$i$ing. By transforming my relationshi to this fine system of sur$i$al instea% of being $ictimi?e% by it, critici?ing it, an% resisting it, or trying to 0fi)0 it, # can %eci%e to ser$e eo le of my own free will, much like the mythical hero -isy hus. *lbert ,amus wrote that -isy hus' con%ition of being con%emne% to roll a big boul%er u a mountain an% ha$e it roll back %own again for all eternity was a erfect analogy for the human con%ition. &e are all con%emne% to engage in com letely futile tasks that re(uire all we'$e got. -isy hus, who use% to be a hero like Hercules when he was on 8arth, was thrown into this hell fore$er 'ust as we, who were once ha y as chil%ren, ha$e been thrown into the hell of the meaningless meaningCmaking machine of the min% an% the obligations of a%ult life. #f we are to %isco$er the secret to ha iness as human beings, sai% ,amus, we must be able to imagine a way -isy hus coul% come to be a ha y man in that hell. &e catch a glim se of him 'ust as he turns to walk back %own that mountain to fin% his rock an% ush it u again, an% we see a beaming smile on his face. How coul% that be6 -isy hus was con%emne% to the hell of rolling that rock u an% ha$ing it fall back %own, for all eternity, as his unishment, an% he con(uere% hell by transforming his relationshi to what he was con%emne% to %o by
choosing to %o it. -isy hus %eci%e% to choose to %o what he was con%emne% to %o. He sai%, this is my 'ob, this is what # %o for a li$ing, # am goo% at itH it is what # %o. # roll my rock u my mountain an% back %own again. This is what # %o an% #'m %oin' it. #, Bra% Blanton, can choose to ser$e eo le as a %esign for my life sim ly because it is a goo% choice gi$en my %esign, which # am con%emne% to li$e with. # can esca e the o ression of the historical ersonality that %ri$es me e$en though # cannot esca e the ersonality itself. That is, the meaning ma%e for me without any choice on my art from the life, times, family, an% culture # was born into an% forme% by was not un%er my control. &hat is un%er my control is the use of that ersonality. By using the e(ui ment # now luckily ha$e a$ailable to me, # can choose to ser$e eo le. To summari?e4 # learne% to sur$i$e by taking care of some eo le an% being wary, aranoi%, an% %efen%ing against other eo le. # will always o erate from that mo%e, an% # ha$e no choice in the matter. -till, ser$ing eo le can be a choice for me an% can be $ery fulfilling an% fun if # go about it in a certain way. The way # was built to go about ser$ing eo le was as an o resse% but sur$i$ing secret hero, acknowle%ge% by few, a staunch %efen%er of the hel less7kin% of a cross between the .one 5anger an% 2esus. # can ha$e that ara%igm use me an% be a $ictim of my sychological con%itioning. !r, # can choose to use that mo%el to create a life with. #f # consi%er myself to be this being in the moment who is ty ing now, an% my history to be something my resentCtense self ossesses, # can use my memory, in the resent, to %esign a future to li$e from. 5ather than continue to function from an% react to the ast that %esigne% how # shoul% li$e at about age se$en or eight or nine, I can transform my life by my own design0 by choosing to do what I have been condemned to do. # can %esign any ro'ect, an% %o the work of lanning an% the work of the lans, using my %e$elo e% skills in sur$i$ing to bring about the results # lan to bring about. # get to use my ersonality to bring about my %reams for the future. #nstea% of trying to fi) myself, or change myself, # can sim ly use myself to create a life # want. &e are all like this. This is true of e$erybo%y. /nless we create some star to hitch our wagon to, or focus on, we will automatically fall back into being controlle% again by min%Cma%e reactions an% moralism base% on formati$e e) eriences. &e will become merely neurotic again 'ust like we were before we last esca e% the 'ail of the min% an% free% oursel$es from the relentless taboos an% controls of our unconsciouslyCbuilt min%s. This choice to %o what one is con%emne% to %o is calle% transformation. 1y life is transforme% by my choice to ser$e eo le because the ur ose of my ser$ice is no longer to mani ulate an% control them to get what # want. *s a being, satisfie% in the resent, # alrea%y ha$e what # want. # %on't ha$e to ha$e eo le ay me for ser$ing them to com ensate for what # lack. -o it turns out, as a secon%ary effect of transformation, some healing of the woun%s of the ast %oes occur. By gi$ing u the %eman% that other eo le make u for how # was %e ri$e%, # %o get fi)e%, as a si%e
effect. -o, being of unsoun% min%, as is herein am ly %emonstrate%, an% using that to create a future, I DO DECLARE: ,Y LIFE IS TO SERDE PEOPLE+ That %eclaration is my %eclaration of in%e en%ence. &hen # s eak this as a %eclaration of intent for how # am choosing to li$e, it is a %ifferent kin% of s eaking than normal s eaking. The usual language of e$aluation an% assessment is a %ifferent language than the language of %eclaration. # %o this now because # say so. 1y life is to ser$e eo le because # say so. #t is not cause% by the con%itions of my ast or my a%a tations to them. #t is cause% my s eaking as a conscious, intentional being. # in$ite you to try talking this way an% see what ha ens to you. -o, if you are willing, let's get to work: The first ste is to make your %eclaration of what your life is to be use% for. This will imme%iately gi$e you a number of roblems you %i%n't ha$e before you ma%e the %eclaration. The goo% life is share% roblems. -ol$ing big roblems together is the best game on earth. #f laying with roblems is substitute% for whining an% com laining, hel is on the way from insi%e you an% outsi%e you. Here is the task4 use the sur$i$al skills you learne% by being abuse% in a %ysfunctional family to create ro'ects an% sol$e roblems of your own %esign. .i$e from your $ision of the future rather than the con%itioning of your ast, but use the con%itioning from your ast to bring your $ision into being. -elect from your own life story the ma'or themes, both goo% an% ba%. Frien%s to whom you tell your life story can hel . &rite u your life themes an% skills as # ha$e 'ust %one using the mo%el ro$i%e% for you in the u coming section of the book. *fter answering the (uestions there an% com osing your life themes choices list, then make your ro'ect $ision statements. ,ome u with bo%acious, glorious $ision statements. ,ome u with something new that is worth %oing with your life, or some way of %oing what you alrea%y %o that ins ires you so much you can't wait to 'um out of be% in the morning. 1ake sure the $ision statements or backgroun% commitment statements for all your ro'ects are consistent with the life ur ose statement you will com ose by answering the trick (uestions in the .ife Dur ose -tatement cha ter. &rite to ins ire yourself, your frien%s, an% to enroll other eo le in your ro'ect. &rite to ha$e an im act, to make an im ression, to be remembere% an% talke% about, an% to ha$e your ro'ects talke% about by other eo le when you are not resent. #f you are ins ire% by your own $ision of the future, other eo le will be ins ire% as well. You can proclaim what your life is about an% use all the skills an% faults you'$e %e$elo e% in the ast to make it ha en. The a%$enture of creating what you want in life from skills you alrea%y ha$e is the best game in town. 23ercises Dair u with someone an% take a half hour each to talk about your life. Tell your artner what your main sur$i$al skills an% a%a tations were. Tell them how you sur$i$e% the circumstances of your family. Then tell your artner what
your main $ision is for the rest of your life an% how you inten% to use the skills you learne% from sur$i$ing to use as instruments for creating the future you en$ision. *fter both of you ha$e %one this, take a break an% write %own what you remember from the con$ersation un%er these two hea%ings4 sur$i$al skills an% future $ision. *fter about fifteen minutes, get back with your artner an% com are notes an% make re$isions of both lists an% talk a little more about the creati$e usefulness of what, articularly, you ha$e consi%ere% to be your most negati$e characteristics. Then %iscuss the usefulness of your most $aluable skills. These are the instruments for creating the future you en$ision. Bee the re$ise% list to be use% in a later assignment in this book.
(6+ On Continuou$ % Bein) Centered In The Pre$ent And U$in) The ,ind To Tr#n$cend The ,ind
*fter you ha$e begun to com lete your ast in re aration for the act of creating your future, an% you en$ision a future you want to create, an% you begin to lan, you must then engage in ractices that re eate%ly restore your e) erience of yourself as the beingCinCtheCbo%yCwhoCsim lyCnotices. ,ontinual ractice in noticing is as necessary as continual ractice in s orts or musicH e$en when you know the basics, to stay shar , you must ractice. This cha ter brings u a %ilemma that confronts e$ery writer an% teacher. #f # catalog an% e) lain many of the ractices that can hel to groun% you in the resent moment, # will gi$e you an intellectual un%erstan%ing of the ractices rather than an e) erience of learning them in the real worl% an% in your bo%y. "ou nee% to learn these ractices e) erientially from eo le who can teach them because they ha$e learne% them e) erientially an% ha$e ractice% them for some time. #f you call us, you can take a 5a%ical Honesty worksho or we will hel you connect with someone in your area who can teach you yoga, me%itation, bo%y awareness ractices, martial arts, or other aths to assist you in noticing an% becoming resent to resent tense e) erience. &hat we teach in our worksho s inclu%es4 #nstruction in a blen% of me%itation an% selfChy nosis, * mo$ement an% stretching techni(ue we in$ente% to restore sanity calle% Dance "oga for the #nsane7a bo%yCawarenessC%ictate% freeCform mo$ement an% stretching, -ometimes # Dreten%7an honest sharing of retenses %one in a grou conte)t, an% 5a%ical Honesty e)ercises4 # !bser$e an% # #magine, +oticing $s. Thinking, an% Distorte% .istening. ,ontinual ractices like these hel you reCi%entify yourself as a resent tense e) eriencer an% rescue you from being o$erwhelme% by your min%. They are absolutely essential to the ongoing life of a creator. !nce we gain a ers ecti$e on our own min% an% ha$e the ossibility of using the min% rather than being use% by it, an ongoing set of ractices ;inclu%ing continuing to tell the truth, me%itating, an% lanning for the future< is necessary to kee the min% from reca turing the s ace of free%om.
The min% takes e) erience an% turns it into conce ts. "ester%ay's brilliant, liberating insight becomes tomorrow's bullshit. The min% takes formerly transcen%ent ers ecti$es an% turns them into i%eals that life has to li$e u to, lea$ing us once again com laining about life not li$ing u to our e) ectations. &e can use our min%s to transcen% our min%s by remembering to %irect our attention to the constant practice of noticing, an% to our "ision of the future. &e can create, in the resent, work that seems like lay because it is base% on the future we en$ision an% want to bring into being. 5ather than being use% by our min%s' %efensi$e reactions to things in the resent that $aguely remin% us of our ast, we use our min%s to en$ision an% create a future from the resent. &hile we %o this series of acti$ities to %esign the future, ay attention to aying attention. &e are the beings who ay attention. &hat we create through lanning is our laything, calle% a life %esign. &hen we carry out the %esign we are laying with our li$es. This is the alternati$e to the reacti$e life.
(7+ The Li!e Pur&o$e St#te'ent
0(o the meaning of the rail and of most myths is finding the dynamic source in your life so that its tra6ectory is out of your own center and not something put on you by society. Then, of course, there is the problem of coordinating your well being with the goods and needs of the society. *ut first you must find your tra6ectory, and then comes the social coordination.5 72ose h ,am bell ;in con$ersation with 1ichael Toms< #n the ne)t se$eral cha ters you will learn to create an% manage ro'ects to achie$e your $ision of the future, but first you ha$e to come u with a ur ose for your life. Don't worry, this is not serious. "ou can change it anytime. "ou are the creator of your life, so you can mo%ify, aint o$er, erase, or %estroy the life ur ose statement whene$er you choose. This cha ter has some fillCinCtheCblank ages. !n com letion, the rea%erIcreator will ha$e chosen a %irection of focus for her life that is a selfC%etermine% measuring stick to 'u%ge the 0fit0 of relationshi s, work o ortunities, recreational en%ea$ors, career, an% so on. +ow you will get a chance to make your own ro'ects an% your own umbrella ro'ect to manage them with. First you ha$e to come u with a ur ose for your life so you can measure all your $ision statements for your ro'ects an% o ortunities that come u in life against something you ha$e chosen, rather than 'ust reacting. "ou can change your life ur ose or your $ision statements for your ro'ects anytime. &e 'ust nee% a life ur ose statement to start with. Dull out your encils an% ut on your Being ,a . "ou are the creator of your uni$erse. .et's begin with an e)ercise create% by Dhil .aut an% resente% in his book 4oney is my Friend, mo%ifie% slightly to fit our ur oses. Do these ste s one at a time. Do not ski ahea%. 2ust com lete one e)ercise an% then go on. #t is im ortant to %o things in se(uence this way so your min% %oesn't get in your way.
E@erci$e (
#haracteristics
1..ist below fifteen characteristics of your -elf. "ou may ha$e re$iously consi%ere% some of them to be negati$e, but you can transform them in %e$elo ing your life ur ose. "ou may be intelligent, humorous, 'oyful, %ri$en, slo$enly, weir%, whate$er. 1ake sure you ha$e fifteen. #f you %on't know fifteen, make them u . Ha$e some fun. 1UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 4UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU >UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 11UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 14UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
#f you %i%n't ut fifteen %own, get back u there an% finish: F.+ow circle your fi"e fa$orite ersonality characteristics. Do it (uickly7%on't think too much, an% mo$e on to 8)ercise F. E@erci$e * How you en;oy e3pressing your characteristics in concrete action in the real world.
1. 5eferring loosely to the fi$e fa$orite ersonality characteristics you 'ust circle%, make a list of fifteen actual beha$iors that are ways you en'oy e) ressing these characteristics. For e)am le, if one of your characteristics was generosity, a beha$ior you actually erform in the real worl% that e)em lifies generosity coul% be 0fee%ing the homeless by working in a sou kitchen on -un%ay mornings.0 !ther s ecific beha$ior e)am les coul% be writing, researching, cooking, ottery making, walking, or taking the chil%ren on an outing. 1UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 4UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU >UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 11UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
1GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 14UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 1AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU F. *fter you ha$e com lete% a list of at least fifteen acti$ities, an% not before, ick your fi"e fa"orite acti$ities an% circle them. ,ontinue with 8)ercise G. E@erci$e 0 "he $orld <ou $ant
&rite a brief statement ;twentyCfi$e wor%s or so< of your $ision of an i%eal worl%. &rite this $ision in the resent tense an% in terms of how you want it to be rather than how you want it not to be. Begin your statement this way4 0*n i%eal worl% is one in which9
&hen you finish the statement, mo$e on to 8)ercise 4. E@erci$e 4 <our Life Purpose
+ow you are going to cut an% aste your life ur ose together. #t's easy an% fun. Here you go. The ur ose of my life is to use my ;list the fi$e general characteristics you circle%< UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU , UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU , UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, an% UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU by ;list the fi$e s ecific beha$iors< UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU , UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU , UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, an% UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU to bring about a worl% in which ;write in your i%eal worl% statement< UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ,ongratulations: "ou ha$e a goo% %raft of a life ur ose statement of your own. +ow e%it it a bit. *fter you e%it an%Ior re$ise it ;if you want<, ty e an% rint it, or co y it neatly. "ou can ut it in your billfol% or urse an% carry it aroun% with you. #f you're on a bus or in a singles bar or at a arty an% you strike u a con$ersation with somebo%y an% they ask you what you %o for a li$ing, whi that u y out an% han% it to them. #n fact, carry a few e)tras so they can kee one if they like. This is the beginning of the con$ersation you generate that has you creating the kin% of worl% you want to li$e in with the hel of a whole bunch of
other eo le. Because # %on't know e)actly what you wrote, #'ll re$iew a sam le life ur ose statement in case you want an e)am le to follow while you are re$ising yours. "ou can work on a life ur ose statement like you woul% work on a oem or a song. Dolish it an% make it sing, make it mo$e eo le, make eo le cry when they hear it. &rite a song from it. 1ake a oster from it. Do a hoto essay on it. 1ake a %is lay of it. &rite it on the wall ne)t to the tele hone. Dut it on the refrigerator. Here's one that someone 'ust wrote in a worksho , an% it's rea%y to cook with4 The ur ose of my life is to use my listening skills, communicating ability, courage, charisma, an% 'oyfulness by gi$ing s eeches, telling stories, writing, teaching, being in my bo%y, an% embracing lo$e% ones to bring about a worl% in which e$ery erson li$es in a family an% in a community in which they are listene% to an% s oken to with honor, an% su orte% to li$e a life of honesty an% constant creating. "ou can see that in this in%i$i%ual's statement there are si) characteristics an% si) s ecific beha$iors. #n your own statement, a%% or subtract whate$er makes this more owerful for you. Dlay with this to make it as clear an% ins iring for you as ossible. 1ake it ins iring to other eo le as well. Dhil .aut, who create% this e)ercise, says4 0#t is ossible that se$eral iterations will be re(uire% before you ha$e a statement of ur ose that you will like well enough to write on a sli of a er an% carry aroun% with you. -ome of the benefits that you can e) ect are that thinking an% beha$ior that %o not su ort your ur ose will be more e$i%ent to you an% goal setting an% %ecision making will both be easier. The statement an% e) ression of your ur ose is %eri$e% from your $alues. For this reason, clear %efinition of your ur ose may re(uire some careful thought to resol$e conflicting $alues. &ithout a clear sense of your ur ose all of the e%ucation you recei$e an% all of the im ro$ements that you make in yourself ser$e only to make you a more ro%ucti$e sla$e to someone else's ur ose.0 ,ongratulations again on your creation: There is your life ur ose in bol% rint. &rite it on sli s of a er an% %ro it from the Goo%year blim at the -u er Bowl. &rite it on a flag an% fly it from the back of a 4)4 %ri$ing %own 1ain -treet on the Fourth of 2uly. Dut it in a bottle an% throw it in the ocean for 5obertson ,rewsole to ick off the beach in a year or so. Drint a teeCshirt that says4 0Gran%ma went to Flori%a an% all # got was this lousy .ife Dur ose.0 "ou now ha$e something to use to consi%er how you s en% the moments of your life. "ou now ha$e something with which to com are your $ision statements in your ro'ects. #f what you en$ision for your ro'ects %oesn't match what you en$ision for your life, change one or the other. #f what you s en% your
time on in your life is consistent with the ur ose of your life, go ahea% an% create away an% ha$e a hell of a goo% time %oing it. #f not, then it's time to change your life ro'ects or your life ur ose again. Hang loose an% celebrate. This is not serious. This is only your life ur ose, which you create%, an% you can change it when you like. Be nonchalant. Be totally committe% without attachment. Go me%itate now an% release yourself from any sense of obligation. 5egain your free%om as a being, an% then go lay some more life.
(:+ Do'#in$
To take some actual control o$er your life, first %etermine what the %omains of your life are. "ou use %omains to i%entify the multi le %imensions of your life in a way that seems intuiti$ely correct to you ;for e)am le, family, career, recreation, money, an% so on<. .ater, when you write u your ro'ects, you will ha$e at least one ro'ect ;an% usually se$eral ro'ects< for each %omain. &hen you name your %omains, you want to include e"erything you are currently doing in your life and e"erything new that you want to do. "ou will robably create between fi$e an% nine %omains. 5emember that this work of lanning an% sharing is really for fun. "ou %on't 'ust %o it to make hell bearable. "ou %o it to make hell fun. "ou are beginning the rocess of transforming the hell of ha$ing a min% into the blessing of a useful min%. "ou are beginning this se(uence of acti$ities4 1.Get clear about the ur ose of your life an% articulate that in a com rehensi$e sentence. #f you followe% the %irections in the life ur ose cha ter one ste at a time, you were tricke% into coming u with a life ur ose statement. #f you %i%n't %o that yet, go back an% %o it now. F.Determine the domains of your life an% write them %own. G.Determine the pro6ects for each %omain. 2ust come u with the titles to the ro'ects to begin with. 4.Dlan an% write u the ro'ects in great %etail using the mo%el resente% in the ne)t cha ter. A.,ontinue the ractices of me%itation an% telling the truth to stay in touch with your essential self, the being who li$es each moment. This is so you %on't get too attache% to your ro'ects or get to belie$ing that who you are %e en%s on their success. -hare your ro'ects with your frien%s an% get them to hel . ,ontinuing these ractices of noticing what is so in the moment and noticing the noticer is absolutely critical to bringing the ro'ects you en$ision into being. *s you %o so, the work will become lay. /se names that make sense to you for your life %omains. .et's say you ha$e %etermine% them as work, family, recreation, health an% well being, entertainment, an% money an% tra$el. #f those hea%ings co$er e$erything you are now %oing as well as e$erything you lan to %o, then you are finishe% with this art an% are rea%y to mo$e on to i%entify the ro'ects for each %omain.
(;+ Wh#t I$ A Pro>ect Out ine/
* ro'ect outline is a learning tool like the foot outlines on a %ance floor, a chess %iagram in the news a er, or training wheels on a chil%'s bike. ,reating in
the social worl%7the creating %one through s eaking an% listening7re(uires some %isci line so you im ro$e through e) erience an% ractice. The ro'ect outline gui%es the creator in the first slow ste s towar% creating a owerful life. .ike a no$ice guitar layer, the creator carefully lucks the strings of a ro'ect recisely as the book instructs until, with time an% e) erience, the melo%y of creating is the e) ression of the creator. The min% is a tricky %e$il an% will work har% to make this rocess stale $ery (uickly, categori?ing the goal, creating shoul%s, an% (uestioning the logic of the creation. The min% gets attache% to anything en$isione% an% written %own. To a$oi% the %istress cause% by attachment to mo%els of the min%, creators must continually ractice %istinguishing between noticing an% thinking. The ractices that %e$elo noticing sensations in the bo%y, noticing the worl% with the senses, noticing thinking, an% being aware of noticing itself, allow the being you are to be groun%e% in sensate e) erience in the here an% now. These ractices kee the creator one ste ahea% of the min%, so that recreating ro'ects an% achie$ing breakthroughs continue. *s life changes an% mo$es aroun% us, a ro'ect outline gets re$ise% an% mo$es with us. #t's a fine line between continually recreating a ro'ect an% being tra e% by it. 5emaining groun%e% in e) erience an% noticing what is ha ening +!& by me%itating, telling the truth, an% being resent to a community of frien%s who are coCcreators is all you nee% to %o to stay free. The format of a ro'ect encourages its constant recreation an% mo%ification. * ro'ect outline, once written an% acte% u on, is imme%iately stale an% obsolete. The ro'ect outline format that follows hel s kee the ro'ect sim le an% focuse%. Dro'ect outlines are to be treate% like tissues. .ife mo$es too fast to ha$e a single writeu remain the same. 1any of us ha$e ha% ro'ect writeu s get obsolete within hours of ulling them from the rinter. *ction creates change. ,hanges in a$ailable information, ers ecti$e, or goals are a natural art of the creating rocess. 8$entually, the fun of 0writing history in a%$ance0 becomes a looke%Cforwar%Cto enter rise. ,onstantly fi%%ling with an% u %ating a ro'ect encourages you to ta into fresh assion an% a%o t a wi%er ers ecti$e with each new success or %efeat. The commitment, action, an% focus of attention on the o$erall $ision of the ro'ect remain intact e$en though new information that shows u may ha$e you %oing many things you %i%n't originally antici ate. This ongoing leasure in new learning is like 0that seriousness of a chil% at lay0 that +iet?sche s oke about. 8mbracing changes by %reaming them u , rather than %rea%ing changes, allows you the fle)ibility to take a%$antage of emerging o ortunities. &e suggest that you, as creator of the worl% an% a goo% life, format your ro'ects as outline% below. Do'#in4 +ame of %omain here. Pro>ect N#'e4 +ame of ro'ect here. Brie! Hi$tor%4 This is the story of what you ha$e %one on the ro'ect re$iously if you ha$e any history with it. #f it is a bran% new ro'ect, ski this ste when you write it u . *s the ro'ect continues an% you hit ma'or milestones, a short a%%ition to this section kee s a running account of the u s an% %owns. B#c.)round Co''it'ent4 This is a statement of $alues that e) ress why this
ro'ect is im ortant to the creator4 what you $alue an% how you inten% to act on these $alues. * commitment to some ossibility in the future that the ro'ect is an e) ression of. Di$ion4 Dicture 14 * sensory rich %escri tion of the e) erience of this ro'ect when it has been brought into being. Dicture F4 *nother sensory rich %escri tion of the e) erience of this ro'ect when it has been brought into being. Dicture G4 *nother sensory rich %escri tion of the e) erience of this ro'ect when it has been brought into being. +ow synthesi?e these three ictures into one. &e want you to make a com elling $ision you can almost taste, touch, feel, hear, an% see. This is what you will communicate to others an% icture for yourself to maintain the con"ersation you continue to create because that is how $isions become reality. This $ision is also to kee you going through the har%er arts of creating7the work that is not as much fun as you thought it woul% be. * clear $ision of where you are going with what you are %oing hel s a lot. "ou icture something an% kee on talking about it an% it shows u . Co''itted Li$tener4 * fellow creator who will listen, su ort, an% coach you in the rocess. Net-or. o! Su&&ort4 Deo le whose e) erience an% interests ro$i%e information an% resources for accom lishment of the ro'ect. This usually inclu%es frien%s who want you to be ha y an% successful, or eo le whom you are hel ing with their ro'ects. St#te4 ,hoices are4 F!51/.*T#!+ ,!+,8+T5*T#!+ 1!18+T/1 -T*B#.#T" B58*BTH5!/GH These states %etermine how you will manage your ro'ect. ;They are e) laine% in more %etail in cha ter twentyCtwo.< #n the beginning, when you are writing u a ro'ect for the first time, you are in the state calle% F!51/.*T#!+. ,e#$ure$4 &here the creator wants to go. These are milestones that mark the stages of accom lishment of the ro'ect. This section kee s focus on the 0creati$e tension0 %escribe% in 5obert Frit?'s book #reating. ;Buy that book.< The tension is between where you are an% where you want to be. #n that ga there are %egrees of attainment. 1uch of the u %ating of your ro'ect occurs here. De$cri&tion o! O"er# P #n4 This is a %escri tion of how the creator will organi?e his actions to bring the future an% ongoing measures into reality. #t is the way you come to s eak to others about your ro'ects. #t later becomes the heart of the 0laser statement0 you will e$entually create to %escribe each ro'ect so you can ha$e a owerful im act on others when you s eak about your ro'ect. Action KWh#t to Do #nd 5% WhenL4 * sim lifie% e)am le follows. Get logo, >IFKI>>H -en% logo to rinter, 1KIAI>>H Get business car%s, 1KI1AI>>. D#te Printed4 Fre(uent u %ates can get confusing. This line kee s you current. +ow if you will ut those bol% hea%ings on a age, you ha$e the skeleton
to ut the flesh of your own creations on. #f you want more owerful coaching in greater %etail, enroll in the ,ourse in Honesty an% then the creators' reunion grou s. #f you feel ins ire% to, go ahea% an% write u at least one ro'ect to com letion an% then continue rea%ing this book. #f not, rea% on an% come back later. +ow you know what you %o with your %omains. "ou come u with ro'ect titles for e$ery ro'ect in each %omain. Then you formulate a $ision statement for the ro'ect an% rocee% to fill in the blanks for the other elements. .et's say you ha$e si) %omains. Two of the %omains may ha$e 'ust one ro'ect, which has the same title as the %omain. Two %omains may ha$e three ro'ects each. !ne may ha$e fi$e ro'ects. # suggest you rocee% with making ro'ect titles an% $ision statements first, an% co$er all your %omains. "ou will robably come u with somewhere between M an% FK ro'ects. Don't worry about whether you ha$e too many or too few. 2ust co$er e$erything you are %oing currently in your life an% attem ting to manage, an% e$erything you want to %o in the near future. *fter you get to look o$er the ro'ect titles an% $ision statements, you can make lans to change some as ects of your current life an% in$ent new elements of your en$isione% future by making a lan o$er time about how you make changes in how you s en% your time. Do 'ust the ro'ect titles an% $ision statements for now an% then rea% on.
(<+ S#'& e Do'#in$ And Pro>ect$9A S%$te' O! Or)#ni?#tion
+ow that you ha$e seen one ro'ect writeu an% its results, you may be rea%y to get a icture of the o$erall use of a ro'ect %esign system to focus energy in your life. &hat follows is the mo%el of the o$erall system or organi?ation # use% in a recent writeu of my ro'ects. Domains ;Domains are the ma'or areas of my lifeH the conce tual %i$isions that seem right to me.< The %omains of my life in 1>>> are liste% in the following outline. These %omains co$er e$ery acti$ity of my waking life. They inclu%e e$erything # %o now an% e$erything # lan to %o. # ha$e at least one ro'ect ;usually a number of ro'ects< for each %omain. # work simultaneously on those ro'ects, an% manage them with what is calle% an 0umbrella ro'ect,0 which is written an% use% after all the other pro6ects are written up. "ou will get more coaching from this book about %oing that once you ha$e written u all your ro'ects. For the time being # want to 'ust mention one goal that came from my umbrella ro'ect because it fits in nicely here. This also gi$es you an e)am le of the $alue of organi?ing your $isions for the future. !ne of my o$erall ob'ecti$es is4 B*.*+,8. # manage my ro'ects with an eye to kee ing a balance of time s ent on these acti$ities. Dhysical e)ercise an% attention ;inclu%ing golf, hysical work aroun% the farm, running, yoga, me%itation, skiing, working out with weights an% machines, running, kayaking, an% swimming<. -ocial interaction ;inclu%ing running worksho s, seeing clients, tra$eling, s en%ing time with family, s en%ing time with *my, s en%ing time with frien%s, an% artying<. #ntellectual recreation ;inclu%ing writing books an% articles, rea%ing, teaching, lanning an% organi?ing ro'ects, engaging in the Great ,on$ersation<.
That is, while artici ating with eo le in these %omains of my life, # aim to maintain a balance of hysical acti$ity, social acti$ity, an% intellectual recreational acti$ity, ser$ing eo le all the while. That sai%, # will now use the format you are learning for writing u ro'ects. A Wor d th#t Wor.$ !or ,e #nd E"er%one I Mno(<<< Br#d B #nton /omains 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises7;* ,areer Gone &rong< Family, Frien%s an% .o$e .ife - arrowhawk Homestea% Health, &ellCBeing an% 5ecreation 1oney Dro'ects .iste% by Domain4 Fir$t Do'#in: R#dic# Hone$t% Enter&ri$e$9A C#reer 3one Wron) Tit e: WORMSHOP LEADIN3 ;This is a full ro'ect writeu that you can use as a mo%el for your own ro'ects.< Di$ion One4 # lea% one twoC%ay ;#ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty< worksho each month an% one eightC%ay ;,ourse in Honesty< worksho e$ery si) weeks. These worksho s are organi?e% an% fille% by e$eryone else who works for 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises, an% # ha$e an intern an% a coClea%er in each worksho . # ha$e an interme%iately %etaile% worksho manual that is re$ise% e$ery eighteen months. !ther trainers are running #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty an% ,ourse in Honesty worksho s together without my artici ation. Twice a year, # coClea% a trainers training. -i) weeks to one month in a%$ance of twoC%ay worksho s, # lea% threeChour intro%uctions to 5a%ical Honesty in si) selecte% cities. There are usually between 1KK an% 1AK eo le in these resentations. FiftyC erson enrollments in the twoC%ay become stan%ar% an% 8% an% Taber also learn to lea% these intro%uctions this year. &e ha$e a %igital $i%eo of each one of these for use by eo le being traine% to gi$e these resentations. &e generate a lause, enthusiasm, communications afterwar%, enrollments in worksho s, an% lots of me%ia co$erage to hel the cause of honest ermission to share how life is among human beings so that the re%esign of culture itself becomes ossible. Di$ion T-o: # see a grou of eo le sitting in a circle being le% by someone who is really goo% an% traine% by me, an% it goes on without me being there. # see a meeting of the /nite% +ations that begins with a twentyCminute me%itation an% rocee%s with re orts of ro'ects using a $ersion of this mo%el # now teach. B#c.)round Co''it'ent: # am committe% to hel ing eo le li$e ha ier, more ro%ucti$e li$es an% to em owering them to hel other eo le %o the same. # am committe% to en'oying the rocess of growing for other eo le an% myself. # am committe% to creating communities of eo le ca able of intimacyH that is, relating to each other base% on telling the truth rather than reten%ing. # am committe% to4 %eli$ering eo le from %omination by their own min%sH
freeing eo le enough from their min%s that they can use them rather than be use% by themH ins iring eo le an% making them ha yH e)em lifying an% encouraging a life of lay an% ser$iceH buil%ing thera eutic communities of lifelong frien%sH see%ing the culture of the worl% with thera eutic communities an% making the worl% into a thera eutic community. # want to create the future human culture as a lace of lo$e an% nurturance instea% of moralism for young humans. # want to continue to affiliate with the work of .an%mark 8%ucation an% su ort that work an% be su orte% by it without us %u licating or substituting for each otherH working alongsi%e each other towar% the same en%. # also want to continue to affiliate with 1arilyn Ferguson, Gay an% Bathlyn Hen%ricks, -tan Dale, Dee ak ,ho ra, +eale Donal% &alsch, Da$i% Borten, Tom Deters, 5obert Frit?, an% other authors, worksho lea%ers, management consultants, an% eo le with wis%om from all walks of life to su ort their work an% ha$e their work su ort our whole community. # am committe% to generating successful communities of su ort in the worl% for telling the truth, so that artici ants can ass on the benefits of li$ing out lou% to their families an% eo le they are relate% to outsi%e the community of su ort. # am committe% to e$ery member of e$ery worksho grou being traine% an% %isci line% in skills of groun%ing in their own e) erience of being in their bo%ies an% noticing what is going on in the worl% an% listening owerfully an% creati$ely to other eo le an% %esigning an% con%ucting their li$es accor%ing to their own lans. # am committe% to the continue% e)istence of these communities of su ort. # am committe% to the success of e$eryone in these communities in %esigning an% bringing into being the results they lan for. For e$ery artici ant who com letes the ,ourse in Honesty an% conse(uent grou s, one or more Trainer's worksho s, an% an internshi , # am committe% to su orting them in becoming ca able of running the worksho s. Brie! Hi$tor%4 # ha$e %esigne% an% con%ucte% a &orksho calle% Telling the Truth since 1>J>. # ha$e now create% the ,ourse in Honesty so that it can be re licate% an% con%ucte% by others, eo le can get great results in life from %oing the worksho , an% worksho artici ation, along with some a%%itional training, re ares selecte% eo le to con%uct the #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty an% the ,ourse in Honesty. # ha$e now con%ucte% what was formerly the +ine Day &orksho o$er a %o?en times, an% the 8ight Day about fifteen times. These worksho s ha$e become the ,ourse in Honesty. The manual is written an% gets re$ise% an% a%%e% to regularly. Co''itted Li$tener$: 8% Gre$ille, Tina !ehser St#te: F!51/.*T#!+9,!+,8+T5*T#!+91!18+T/19-T*B#.#T"9 B58*BTH5!/GH. ,e#$ure$: Full enrollment in si) ,ourse in Honesty worksho s for the year 1>>>. *t least twenty trainees artici ating in the Train the Trainers worksho in
1ay. *ccom lishment of the goals set by eo le for the 5eunion, by their own re ort an% that of their frien%s. !neCfifth of new artici ants coming from enrollment by former artici ants because of those artici ants' enthusiasm an% success. Net-or. o! Su&&ort Peo& e: The gang of gra%uates. De$cri&tion o! O"er# P #n: For the year, con%uct si) ,ourse in Honesty &orksho s an% one Trainers' Training &orksho for twentyIthirty artici ants who ha$e all %one the ,ourse in Honesty worksho . # will con%uct twel$e twoC %ay #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty worksho s an% ha$e at least four le% by other trainers by themsel$es. The ,ourse in Forgi$eness an% the ,ourse in ,reating will integrate more owerfully the results of the worksho s in eo le's li$es. These worksho s will be the way eo le can learn from my trainees an% me after rea%ing $adical +onesty, %oing a twoC%ay #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty worksho , an% continuing on for more intensi$e work. The training worksho for training trainers. !ut of these # will foun% The Doint of .ight1 a religious organi?ation %e%icate% to the memory of George Bush ;not really<. Wh#t to do #nd 5% -hen: KTransferre% to %aytimer an% weekly to %o list.< Pro>ect Tit e: TRAINER'S TRAININ3 ;* mo%ifie% an% somewhat artial ro'ect writeu .< Di$ion4 &e ha$e an organi?e% trainers manual for this training an% it is coCle% by three eo le4 8% Gre$ille, Taber -ha%burne, an% me. #t is looke% forwar% to as a trainers' intensi$e for eo le working on certification, as a time for reC$isioning the future an% re%esign of the rogram, an% as a biCannual meeting of the certifie% trainers. The Boar% of *%$isors an% Boar% of Directors meetings occur right before this trainers training each year, starting in the year FKKK. There is a staff erson to work on this for a cou le of months in a%$ance of each meeting an%, each year, they buil% on what we learne% the re$ious years. B#c.)round Co''it'ent: # am committe% to eo le learning how to teach ra%ical honesty to other eo le, to the rinci le that telling the truth about what you feel, what you think, an% what you ha$e %one hel s you to ha$e a better life, an% to the i%ea that when we share information honestly an% hel each other in how we li$e an% create together it makes for a better life for all of us. Brie! Hi$tor%: # ha$e run three Trainers Trainings before this year. -i) certifie% trainers ha$e come out of those trainingsH # e) ect to certify se$eral more at the 1ay training. /sing the outlines of the #ntro%uction to 5a%ical Honesty an% the ,ourse in Honesty worksho s, we ha$e taught each other the main lecture segments an% con$ersations an% then ractice% hot seat work. The criteria for certification ha$e been %e$elo e%. Co''itted Li$tener: 8% Gre$ille St#te: 1omentum ,e#$ure$: 5ewrite of manual for ,ourse in Honesty com lete% by the en% of February. Trainers Training manual com lete% by 1ay 1. +otices of trainer training sent to can%i%ates for the training, an% trainers from the last two trainings ersonally in$ite% by me by February 1A. TwentyCfi$e eo le enrolle% by 1ay 1K. -i) new eo le are certifie% by 1ay GK. ,ertificates %esigne%, rinte%, an% awar%e% by 2une 1A. Wh#t to Do #nd 5% When:
5ewrite the manual by the en% of February. -en% out s ecial in$itations by 1arch 1. -en% out general in$itation by 1arch 1. &rite a %raft Trainers Training manual an% ass it aroun% by 1arch 1A. 1eet with *my an% 8% an% com lete the manual by 1arch GK. ,all to follow u on enrollment, ;8%, *my, an% myself< by * ril 1A. 6sing the Pro;ect $riteup Model "ou can use the mo%els an% forms from this cha ter as a tem late for your ro'ects an% you can refer back to my sam le ro'ects if you ha$e (uestions that are not answere% by the instructions in these u coming cha ters. # generally ha$e twel$e to twenty ro'ect writeu s each si) months, in 2anuary an% 2uly of each year. # recommen% you write u all of yours com letely, at least once in this fashion, howe$er many you ha$e. "ou will nee% a minimum of three to continue on as %esigner of your life through the assignments in the ne)t section of this book. -o go ahea% an% gi$e it a shot right now an% %o three ro'ect writeu s. 1ake your life a work of art. Goo% luck. Su''#r% o! the Pro>ect Writeu& For'#t Do'#in: Pro>ect Tit e: Brie! Hi$tor%: B#c.)round Co''it'ent: Di$ion: Co''itted Li$tener: Net-or. o! Su&&ort: St#te: ,e#$ure$: De$cri&tion o! O"er# P #n: Action: D#te Printed:
*=+ Re!or'u #tion o! Current Wor. U$in) the Pro>ect Write2U&

This is a true story tol% by Daul .aFontaine, a gra%uate of the 8ight Day 5a%ical Honesty &orksho . #t is an e)am le of how, by reformulating what he was %oing at work7through writing u his ro'ect accor%ing to his $ision7Daul change% his life at work. * re$iew of Daul's ro'ect ro$es that the future is not %estine% to be a re lication of the ast, an% actually makes us e)cite% about the ossibilities of our own li$es. His reformulation of what he was about at work, through writing u his ro'ects accor%ing to his $ision, change% a %isgruntle% em loyee ;with a recent mo%erately oor erformance re$iew< to a recogni?e% significant layer in the %esign for the future growth of his com any. He also got a TF,KKK raise. Here is Daul's story in his own wor%s4 How $ork +ecomes Play by Paul La)ontaine The chair was uncomfortable as # sat %own. 1y boss ha% calle% me into his office for my annual erformance re$iew. &hen the com any ha% hire% me a
year before, they sai% they nee%e% me to e)amine rocess efficiency in the facility. #nstea%, they wante% me to sit an% write memos. &hene$er a iece of furniture was urchase% or mo$e%, they ha% me %oing the a erwork, after which they bitche% at me for not com leting the forms to their satisfaction. #t was boring work an% it ha% me tra e% because # nee%e% the aycheck. 05eally, # wrote a better re$iew,0 my boss sai%. 0They change% it. There's nothing # can %o.0 0They're always %oing things like this,0 # re lie%. 0,an # write a rebuttal60 0"eah, but be careful,0 he sai%, han%ing me the re$iew. They %eser$e% a rebuttal. They wrote that # ha% faile% to %ocument urchases satisfactorily. !f the many urchases # ha% ma%e that year, only once ha% they caught me short of a erwork. 1y rebuttal woul% hammer this oint an% embarrass them with their lack of information. From my small chair in a cubicle ami%st a sea of cubicles, a cle$er rebuttal took sha e. !nce it was com lete% an% in the mail # re are% for a $acation. 1y $acation was the 5a%ical Honesty 8ight Day &orksho . Bra% Blanton s oke about stories, language, an% ersonal ower. He s oke of a life of lay. He showe% us how to me%itate. He showe% us mo$ies. He talke% about how we are the creators of our own e) erience. He ut me in a chair an% listene% to me talk, coaching me to notice what # was e) eriencing. *fter se$eral %ays, # notice% that in my min% # was blaming other eo le, 0them,0 for my %issatisfactions. # learne%. # learne% about fear, res onsibility, an% telling the truth. # learne% how to notice what came u for me emotionally. 1ost im ortantly, # learne% about myself. *s the worksho neare% com letion, # listene% to Bra% %escribe a techni(ue useful in being a owerful creator. # hear% him %escribe the writing of ro'ects. # was e)cite% by his %escri tion. # organi?e% furniture or%ers for the com any into ro'ects, but a ro'ect of my own was %ifferent. # coul% create my own life in my ro'ects. *fter some instruction, # wrote my ro'ects. #n one, # recreate% my work by writing a clear $ision an% measures of success with timelines. # woul% transform my work into lay. # was going to e) an% on my furniture urchasing an% become a creator of work en$ironments that woul% transform the com any from a sea of cubicles to an o en s ace where teams woul% flourish. # calle% this ro'ect 0&ork 8n$ironment ,reator.0 # woul% be unsto able. Dro'ect in han%, # returne% to the com any an% began talking about work en$ironments. # got out of my small chair, left my cubicle, an% began walking aroun% the buil%ing asking eo le what they nee%e% to im ro$e their works ace. # %rew %iagrams an% talke% about creating an o en s ace where teams woul% flourish. # was e)cite% by my $ision an% coul%n't sto talking about it. Drior to lea$ing for the worksho , # ha% been gi$en the task to 0coor%inate an% %ocument com any %e artmental in$ol$ement0 on a TA million office refurbishment. # %i%n't know what this meant, so # checke% my &ork 8n$ironment ,reator ro'ect an% %eci%e% that # ha% a better lan. # took charge. # gathere% the architect, consultants, an% contractors together aroun% a table an% looke% at each of them as # leane% forwar% in a large, comfortable chair. *fter a moment of com lete silence, # s oke. 0This ro'ect is the first ste in recreating this buil%ing as an o en
en$ironment that su orts teams,0 # sai%. 0&e will com lete it an% ha$e our eo le mo$e in on 2uly Jth.0 0!B,0 sai% the architect. 0.et's get to work,0 sai% a consultant. # then sai% this to the management of the com any an% the eo le who woul% mo$e into the s ace. # sai% it to my frien%s, strangers, an% anyone who woul% listen. &hen (uick %ecisions were nee%e%, # was consulte% an% # sai% it again. &hen eo le rolle% their eyes in meetings an% e) resse% %oubts as to whether a ro'ect this si?e coul% be finishe% on time, # sai% it yet again. # sai% it in the cafeteria. # sai% it in the restroom. # sai% it in my slee . !n 2uly Jth, our eo le mo$e% in. # listene% as eo le tol% me what a goo% 'ob # ha% %one. # re$iewe% my ro'ect an% was rea%y for more. # ha% a $ision of the entire buil%ing being an o en s ace that su orte% teams, so # set to work. /sing learning from another ro'ect # ha% create% an% my e) erience at the 5a%ical Honesty &orksho , # create% a worksho where %e artmental managers for the com any coul% %e$elo a teamCbase% work en$ironment for their eo le. # $isite% the $ice resi%ent of the facility. 0# am going to work with each %e artment an% %e$elo a lan for creating for them an o en, teamCbase% work en$ironment,0 # sai%. 0#'ll ha$e these lans rea%y for future growth.0 0!B,0 he re lie%. # starte% gi$ing the worksho . # was e)cite% as # tol% the %e artment managers about the a%$antages of an o en en$ironment. # ha% fun. # %rew ictures for them from which they began mo%ifying their works ace on their own. # a lau%e% them. # talke% about a teamCbase% facility. # %rew more ictures. # was slowly an% stea%ily bringing my $ision into being. The e)ecuti$es %eci%e% they were going to buil% a new office buil%ing. # was assigne% the ro'ect. # re$iewe% my ro'ect an% re are% to create a work en$ironment for the e)ecuti$e grou . # met with them an% talke% about an o en s ace in which teams coul% flourish. # talke% about how # was creating this in each %e artment. The grou who ha% been 0they0 to me months before sat an% no%%e% their hea%s. 0"ou are the e)am le for the rest of the facility.0 # conclu%e%, 0"our new s ace will be a teamCbase% s ace.0 0!B,0 sai% a $ice resi%ent. 0Goo% i%ea,0 sai% a %irector. 0,an't %isagree with that,0 sai% another $ice resi%ent. # was making my ro'ect with its $ision a reality. # was creating work en$ironments. # was ha$ing fun. # walke% ast an aban%one% rows of cubicles that # was ha$ing %isassemble% an% went on to my new office. # was comfortable as # sat in my large chair. # felt free. # smile% as # s oke to myself. # was laying. Ho- to ,#.e He Fun Daul transforme% his relationshi to work at his com any by making a ara%igm shift, a change in ers ecti$e that allowe% him to recreate e$erything at work from a %ifferent ers ecti$e. He %i% what 5obert Frit?, the brilliant author of the books The ,ath of 'east $esistance, #reating, an% #orporate Tides, calls a shift from the reacting orientation to the creating orientation. *s a result of %oing the worksho , Daul began to come from some lace other than reacting to
circumstances im ose% u on him by his 'ob. An Individual Pro;ect that #hanged the $orld #n 1>>G, a man name% -am, who ha% years of e) erience as a hotel an% resort manager, %eci%e%, with the hel of The *%$ance% ,ourse con%ucte% by .an%mark 8%ucation, to become a conscious creator of his life rather than a set of reactions. He %eci%e% that he wante% to use his skills as a hotelier to increase the ossibility of communication between the 8astern Bloc countries an% the &est to bring about eace in the worl%. He wante% to create a meeting lace in 1oscow. His $ision was to create a meeting lace for the #ron ,urtain countries an% the &est to ma)imi?e the ossibility of communication among the lea%ers an% business eo le of those nations. He wrote u his ro'ect an% got fun%ing on a 'oint $enture with eo le he knew in$ol$ing two ma'or hotel chains in *merica, went to 1oscow, bought a hotel, gutte% it, an% rebuilt it with meeting rooms an% all the most mo%ern electronic e(ui ment an% communications su ort a$ailable at the time. He ut au%io $isual e(ui ment, satellite communications, com uteri?e% me%ia resentation %e$ices, an% facilities into a $ery mo%ern an% comfortable setting. -am was in 1oscow in his reno$ate% hotel in 1>>A when the military cou was attem te%. Dresi%ent Gorbache$ was un%er house arrest an% confine% to his (uarters at a $acation resort in the -outh. Boris "eltsin was in the main legislati$e buil%ing which was surroun%e% by tanks. *ll tele$ision, ra%io, an% switchboar%s were turne% off, blocke% out, or in the control of the army. The generals announce% that they were in charge an% that the go$ernment was un%er military comman%. The cou was accom lishe%. -am, the hotel man, ut on a trench coat, ste e% out into the rain, walke% two blocks to the ring of tanks, walke% between the tanks, an% into the arliament buil%ing. He walke% right u to Boris "eltsin. He sai%, 0# thought you might fin% this useful,0 an% han%e% him a cellular tele hone, which o erate% by satellite through a %ish mounte% ato his hotel two blocks away. Boris "eltsin took the hone, thanke% him, an% staye% on the tele hone all that night. The ne)t %ay the cou faile%. +o one knows how many or which eo le Boris "eltsin talke% to that nightH 'ust that he was on the hone for si) hours straight an% the cou colla se% the ne)t %ay. -am s oke an% listene% a ro'ect into being, inten%ing to ha$e an im act on the ,ol% &ar, an% he %i%. He hel e% create a new an% %ifferent worl% for all of us. He was at the right lace at the right time an% with the right listening for the o ortunity to make a %ifference in a %irection he ha% chosen consciously in a%$ance. He use% the skills he %e$elo e% before he became a conscious creator to ai% in bringing about a future he en$isione% an% he brought it about. #reating- 6sing the Medium of Pro;ect Design and #ommunication # ha$e been formulating my life into ro'ects, consciously %esigne%, for fifteen years now. For fifteen years # ha$e %esigne% my life a year at a time, an% re$ise% it e$ery si) months, using the reacti$e e(ui ment for ser$ice commonly known as Bra% Blanton. *bsolutely e$erything # %o in my life now was once only a figment of my imagination, which became a ro'ect %esign. There is not a waking minute # s en% on whate$er work or lay # %o that is not intimately relate%
to a conscious act of creation of my own. 1y %aughter who is fourteen years ol% now was written u as a ro'ect before we got regnant. -o was my si) year ol% son. -o was our marriage. -o was the house # built we now li$e in, the book, $adical +onesty, this book you are rea%ing, the worksho s, an% the business calle% 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises. #t is not that all occurrences are antici ate%, 'ust that they show u in a conte)t of o ortunity that was create% before they ha ene%. &hen une) ecte% e$ents occur in the worl%, they are in relation to ro'ects of my %esign. .ots of unforeseen things occur as they %o in anyone's life, but they occur within the conte)ts # ha$e consciously create% an% it makes a big %ifference. This kin% of li$ing ne$er looks like you thought it woul%. *s &erner 8rhar% once sai%, 0"ou can ha$e anything you want as long as it %oesn't ha$e to look like you thought it woul%.0 * life of conscious %esign is, howe$er, a lot more in the %irection you inten%e% than the normal chances of life woul% take you. # will share with you the outline for my current writeu of my recent ro'ecte% life in the following cha ter on the /mbrella Dro'ect. This way you can see how # %o it. "ou can %o this for your life if you want to. # ho e this will ins ire you to create your own life ro'ects consciously as an artist an% by %esign as an in%i$i%ual an% that you will 'oin me in teaching others by e)am le. This is the secret to the goo% life. "our gran%mother coul% ha$e tol% you. #t's so sim le it's har%ly worth mentioning. 1aybe that's why she forgot to tell you.
*(+ The U'5re # Pro>ect
!nce your ro'ects are written u , you %esign your umbrella ro'ect to manage all your ro'ects in all the %omains of your life. This is the o$er$iew of all other ro'ects, the ers ecti$e from which they are manage%. The umbrella ro'ect ensures consistent attention to all your ro'ects, an% allows you to a%% the further goal of maintaining a balance of hysical, social, an% intellectual acti$ity. ;For e)am le, 0# want to s en% at least twenty ercent of my %ays %oing hysical work or lay an% ha$e social an% intellectual acti$ities be about e$enly s lit for the rest of the time.0< ,onscious management of your life so you can get in enough arty time, golf time, rea%ing an% writing time, staying in sha e time, an% so forth really ha ens at this highest le$el of management. &rite u all your ro'ects, for all the %omains of your life, an% then write u your umbrella ro'ect to manage them with. This makes ossible balance an% ersistent attention to all your ro'ects. #t may be mo%ifie% fre(uently, as you steer your life's ro'ects, with more time ut in on some than others, but the consistency of your commitment to all your ro'ects is ke t in balance this way in accor%ance with your life ur ose statement. Your life purpose statement becomes the background commitment statement and "ision statement for your umbrella pro6ect itself. *t the en% of this cha ter, we walk through an umbrella ro'ect from beginning to en%. !nce your ro'ects are written u , you can com are the $ision statements for all the ro'ects with your life ur ose statement an% make some re$isions in both, an% then you can %esign the rest of your umbrella ro'ect. 5emember, it's your life you are creating an% you can mo%ify the
%esign as fre(uently as you like. "ou will notice that you will ha$e a ten%ency, as you steer your life's ro'ects, to ut more time in on some ro'ects at some times than others, but the consistency of your commitment to all your ro'ects is ke t in balance through the umbrella ro'ect, in accor% with your life ur ose statement7the backgroun% commitment statement an% $ision statement for your umbrella ro'ect itself. The umbrella ro'ect is organi?e% in the following format. U'5re # Pro>ect Tit e: The title an% your name go here. Wh#t ,% Li!e I$ Co''itted to #nd Wh#t It Wi Be Li.e Bec#u$e I S#% So I$N This is your life ur ose, written in the format of 0The ur ose of my life is to use myUUUUUU UUUUUU by UUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUto bring about a worl% in which UUUUUUU.0 "ou alrea%y wrote this when you worke% through the e)ercises in the .ife Dur ose -tatement cha ter. "ou can mo%ify it if you like. The Stor% o! ,% Per$on# it%: This is your theory about the elements of ersonality that ha$e been %isco$ere% in the course of the earlier assignment in the cha ter on Dlanning the Future. Here you %efine the %efenses an% recor%s of the min% that formerly ha$e been reactions an% barriers to real control in life, which you will now reuse as assets. #f you are %oing this after taking the ,ourse in Honesty an% before the first reunion grou meeting ;the ,ourse in Forgi$eness<, you ha$e a $i%eota e ma%e %uring the worksho in which you tol% the entire story of your life to the grou an% answere% all (uestions that arose from the telling. "ou recei$e% fee%back from the grou on what a eare% to be themes in your life or themes in the way you tol% your story. 5eunion Grou artici ants, when they write u their umbrella ro'ect, are aske% to watch their ta e again with significant others an% %iscuss it. They sit before their own story like an artist in front of a can$as that is not com lete yet, or a com oser attem ting to mo%ify a theme alrea%y begun, or someone %esigning a sitting lace on a romena%e, waiting for the lay of the lan% an% the $iew to tell him how to lace the benches an% the flowers an% shrubs. "our life is alrea%y starte%. Get what it is, an% mo%ify it until it feels like a master iece. "ou are anning for gol% in your life story. #t is there. .ook for the themes an% re eate% atterns in the story of your life. ,hoose the skills you ha$e %e$elo e% for %efense to use in the act of creation. #t is worth the trouble of making a $i%eota e of yourself telling your life story to a grou of eo le an% then watching the ta e while taking notes to be use% in the %esign of your future. "ou are going to e) lore your assessments of who you are in search of those arts of you that you get yourself stuck with so that you can fli them aroun% an% use them in your creating. "ou coul% use your unacce tably lou% $oice to become a cham ion hog caller, your unremitting bo%y o%or to become a wealthy bloo%houn% trainer, or your hangnail to become a rofessional hang gli%er. "our ercei$e% weaknesses, as well as your known strengths, are actually your otential strengths. These e)ercises may hel . E@erci$e (: &rite the sur$i$al strategy you em loye% as a chil% to a$oi% unishment, be acce te%, or get more chocolate chi cookies.
E@erci$e *4 &rite your %ayCtoC%ay e) ression of that strategy. &hat carries o$er now from that early strategy in your family life an% your work life6 #f you threw tantrums as a chil% to get cookies, %o you rant an% ra$e at work to get things %one6 E@erci$e 0: Fli your strategy on its hea%. &rite how your %ayCtoC%ay e) ression of your strategy can be useful. 1aybe your tantrums can launch you as a worl% lea%er of the #nternational !r%er of Histrionics. E@erci$e 4: &rite the story of your ersonality. .ea% with the theory %e$elo e% in 8)ercise 1, then the %ayCtoC%ay e) ressions in 8)ercise F, then the way you'll fli this strategy on its hea% as written in 8)ercise G. Do'#in$ #nd Pro>ect$: Here is where you, the creator, list all your %omains an% ro'ects, an% e) an% them one at a time. #n this conte)t, ro'ects will grow consistent with your life $ision. Beneath the umbrella ro'ect, in%i$i%ual ro'ects are the e) ression of a being who is an artist creating his own life. The life ur ose statement you formulate% in a nonClinear fashion is now use% for the backgroun% commitment an% $ision statement for the umbrella ro'ect, an% the $ision statements for each ro'ect are aligne% with your o$erall $ision for your life as e) resse% in this statement. "ou ha$e com are% the $ision for your life with each ro'ect $ision. #f they %i%n't go together well, you either change% your ro'ect or change% the $ision for your life. Finally, you ha$e a sense of unity concerning what you are about an% a basis for clearer an% cleare% communication in con$ersation with others about what you are bringing into being with your life. "ou will be leasantly sur rise% at how many allies show u to work with you. +ow, here is the beginning of my umbrella ro'ect. U'5re # Pro>ect Tit e: A $orld "hat $orks for Me and 2veryone I 4now in 1===( Di$ion: The ur ose of my life is to use my erce ti$eness, intelligence, lo$e of chil%ren, lo$e of eo le, an% lo$e of life by writing books, %esigning an% con%ucting worksho s, gi$ing talks an% making me%ia a earances, sharing honestly with frien%s, an% raising chil%ren an% gran%chil%ren in such as way as to create the ossibility of a lifetime of lay an% ser$ice for e$ery human being on lanet earth. !ut of my life an% the li$es of frien%s, # hel e$eryone born get raise% by being laye% with, lo$e%, fe%, sheltere%, an% interacte% with in a family an% community of functional ha y human beings. This new worl% comes about because of how my frien%s an% # ha$e li$e%, raise% our chil%ren, an% lo$e% them an% each other. Di$ion St#te'ent T-o: # am in %eman% constantly to %o worksho s, make ublic a earances, write books, an% %o tele$ision shows. * large staff of twenty to 4KK eo le manages our mutual em ire. 1y books are rea% by business an% olitical an% intellectual lea%ers of the worl%. 1any of my colleagues an% # are constantly aske% to %eli$er commencement a%%resses at uni$ersities an% recei$e honorary %egrees. *t the en% of my life, most of my work is in coor%inating the work of ma'or institutions, associations, an% cor orations towar% a system of worl% organi?ation in which the %istribution of o ortunity an% the %istribution of wealth are coor%inate% to bring about the ele$ation of all
human beings in o$erty of goo%s or min% to a lu)urious minimum stan%ar%. Before an% after # %ie, my name will a ear in stone, in rint, on street signs, in history books, on tele$ision, an% become a househol% wor% when eo le mean to say 0 lenty goo% enough.0 # will become known as the George &ashington of the first worl% go$ernment base% on truly sharing the real wealth of the worl%7 the free%om an% creati$ity of its eo le. B#c.)round Co''it'ent : # am committe% to training eo le an% trainers in ra%ical honesty to bring about a worl% in which all human beings ha$e the o ortunity to constantly be %eli$ere% from the limitations of belief an% be reborn into the ossibility of a lifetime of lay an% ser$ice to each other. 6mbrella Pro;ect $riteups *fter the $ision an% backgroun% committment are com lete% for the /mbrella Dro'ect the %omains an% ro'ects follow. 1y %omains an% a few of my ro'ects that fit in here are what you rea% in the cha ter on sam le %omains an% ro'ects. -ome of the further elements of my umbrella ro'ect writeu are inclu%e% in earlier cha ters as well, articularly where # talke% about the use of my ersonality to create with. *s you steer your life's ro'ects, you will ut more time in on some ro'ects at some times than at others, but the consistency of your commitment to all your ro'ects is ke t in balance this way, in accor%ance with your life ur ose statement. +ow, let's go through this rocess one ste at a time. W# .in) Throu)h #n U'5re # Pro>ect "ou ha$e ha% an o ortunity to look at a conce tual o$er$iew of an umbrella ro'ect. +ow we will break a art another real life umbrella ro'ect written by a ,ourse in Honesty gra%uate. &e can see how the %ifferent arts relate to each other an% to the entire rocess of creating a life from reference. This is Daul .aFontaine's umbrella ro'ect from a few years ago. U'5re # Pro>ect !or4 Daul .aFontaine This is my name. #t took consi%erable effort to flush this out of my unconscious -elf an% into the re% hot fire of 5eali?ation. The rigors of an e)amine% life can be e)cruciating. ,% Pur&o$e: The ur ose of my life is to use my courage, charisma, listening skills, communicating ability an% 'oyfulness by gi$ing s eeches, telling stories, writing, coaching, gui%ing, noticing, an% embracing relationshi s to bring about a worl% in which e$ery erson li$es a life of $ibrant ersonal ower. ,% Stor% o! ,% Per$on# it%: 1y theory is that # was raise% in a way that le% me to constantly erform. # belie$e my erformance controls eo le aroun% me by gi$ing them a re%igeste% $ersion of 0me.0 The skills # %e$elo e% were s eaking an% writing clearly, using bo%y gestures an% mo$ement to ca ture attention, an% intuiti$ely listening to an% watching in%i$i%uals an% grou s as # communicate with them. # also %e$elo e% logic an% $isuali?ation skills. # consi%er myself bright, cle$er, $isionary, entertaining, an% a lea%er. # want to lea% eo le an% create results. # hi%e my feelings behin% tangible accom lishments an% assi$e aggressi$e beha$ior. # resent accom lishments as tro hies to ro$e com etence an% seek a ro$al. # buil% a san% castle an% grab as many eo le as ossible to come an% see it. # e) ress anger by %estroying or shutting off e$erything relate% to the
source of my anger. #f # am tol% it's time to lea$e the beach, # (uietly kick the san% castle to ieces an% throw the bucket, sho$els, my swimsuit an% towels in the trash. &hen aske% what's wrong # say, 0+othing, #'m gla% we're lea$ing.0 # witness a struggle within me between the Derformer, the Hel less !ne, an% the &il% 1an. The Derformer blames the Hel less !ne an% su resses the &il% 1an. # choose to fli this %ynamic on its hea% an% use these three arts of my whole to acce t hel lessness freely an% erform in the ower of that %ynamic. These three will ser$e meH # will not ser$e them. # choose to %o what # ha$e been con%emne% to %o. 1y life is to ser$e eo le by erforming. This story came out of my work with Bra% Blanton at a 5a%ical Honesty &orksho . # notice% my assi$e aggressi$e beha$ior an% unwillingness to e) ress anger an% saw a common theme in my %reams, which ga$e me the analogy of the three conflicting as ects of myself. *t the en% of this section, # summari?e% my ur ose as a 0 erformer0 an% %irecte% it towar% the ser$ice to others. Do'#in$: The %omains of my life are Defusing the 1in%bomb, Family ,ircle, Hero's 2ourney, an% ,ommunities of Dractice. 1y %omains are like guitar strings. &hen one is lucke% they all $ibrate. The relationshi of these harmonics creates the music that is the e) ression of my life ur ose. Defusing the 1in%bomb is the ersonal s ace in which # e) erience the silence an% ower of Being. #t is the im ulse to refresh my connection with the source of this lay. #t is the wells ring from which strength an% enthusiasm will s ring. /ltimately, laying in the san%bo) of the worl% is a life well waste%, an% this %omain will balance any attachments # will form to the game. Family ,ircle is the nourishing en$ironment in which # li$e with a artner, chil%ren, an% family. # will buil% this circle so it will challenge the scri ts ut in lace by stories han%e% %own from earlier generations with its own uni(ue story of transcen%ence. # will buil% a hysical lace, a home in the sha e of a circle where each in%i$i%ual has ersonal s ace for recharging his or her own batteries on the erimeter, but at the center is the grou s ace where the interaction honors the in%i$i%ual Being by encouraging the faceCtoCface interaction which calls the in%i$i%ual forth to take res onsibility for their own ersonal ower. # will bring into being a circle where nothing is hi%%en an% the min% is interru te% by the im ulse of all artici ants to be resent an% clear, to sit in the seat of satisfaction an% be artists creating their li$es. Hero's 2ourney is the su ort for in%i$i%uals in their attainment of $ibrant ersonal ower. The 'ourney can be a %ifficult one. # will write, tell stories, coach, gui%e, an% su ort others through the stuck laces they e) erience an% celebrate their breakthroughs with them. ,ommunities of Dractice is the coaching an% gui%ing of teams, organi?ations, an% communities in the ongoing creation of a transcen%ent community where e$ery erson li$es a life of $ibrant ersonal ower. # will create an% %e$elo ro'ects that will in$igorate communities, gui%e them towar% buil%ing a transcen%ent culture, an% lant the see%s that will carry this mo$ement through the ine$itable future cycles of %eath an% rebirth. For this year # ha$e create% the umbrella ro'ect, one ro'ect in the %omain of Defusing the 1in%bomb, three ro'ects in the %omain of Family ,ircle,
three ro'ects in the %omain of Hero's 2ourney, an% four in ,ommunities of Dractice. # ha$e create% these categories an% in the writing constantly refer them back to my ur ose. # ur osely use the same language re etiti$ely to em hasi?e the close relation between my ur ose an% acti$ity, as well as to 0train0 myself to remember key hrases an% ictures. !nce they are ingraine% in me, # begin to automatically create them in my life. Your U'5re # Pro>ect This /mbrella Dro'ect writeu ha% a rofoun% effect on Daul's life because of the im act it ha% on his s eaking an% listening an% way of being in the worl%. +ow you try it. E@erci$e: &rite your life ur ose statement as your first $ision statement. Then come u with a further $ision. Then %o a backgroun% commitment statement an% rocee% through the /mbrella Dro'ect mo%el for your own future life. *fter com leting that work, rocee% to the ne)t cha ter for a little more %etail about ro'ect writeu s an% managing them from a ers ecti$e that $iews them all as consistently contributing to your life ur ose.
**+ Pro>ect De"e o&'ent St#)e$
The stages of %e$elo ment of our ro'ects are im ortant to know because they %etermine the management style we want to use to be the most effecti$e in each stage. *t the oint in the ro'ect writeu where St#te is liste%, this %oes not stan% for where in the /.-. you were born or what nation you li$e in. #t means the state of e$olution of your ro'ect. "our choices are Formulation, ,oncentration, 1omentum, -tability, an% Breakthrough. These hase %efinitions are from $esults 4anagement by Ba lan, an% from the 1astery of 8m owerment course that use% to be taught by &erner 8rhar% an% *ssociates, an% from me, base% on my e) erience of using their mo%el. * brief %escri tion of each hase follows. The Formulation stage of a ro'ect is when you are first writing it u . "ou collect information from other sources an% write u your ro'ect on your own. The #oncentration hase is when you start making the ro'ect ha en. "ou gi$e the writeu to your committe% listener. "ou make hone calls, write letters, sen% emails, contact eo le, buy su lies, an% take initial actions. The rule of thumb for this hase is ten out, one back. That is, for e$ery ten calls you e) ect one return, for e$ery ten letters one res onse, an% so on. 4omentum is the hase where res onses start coming in. "ou recei$e some that you %i%n't e) ect, showing that the con$ersation you starte% is li$ing out there without you ushing it all the time. By this hase, you may ha$e hire% some hel or foun% some hel ers to assist you with the ro'ect. (tability is when you are humming along in a constant %e en%able fashion. ,alls an% letters come in an% are han%le% in a clear an% efficient fashion. Deo le know what their 'obs are. *reakthrough ha ens when you ha$e been o erating at stability an% all of a su%%en won%erful things you ne$er coul% ha$e re%icte% ha en that blow your min%. #t is so much fun it will test your tolerance for 'oy. "ou may not be able to stan% it. The stage you i%entify %emarcates the current status of the ro'ect an%
remin%s you to ree)amine your management style. For e)am le, when we are in the ,oncentration stage we are working to create momentum by talking to eo le, writing, an% %oing all the acti$ities articulate% in the ro'ect writeu . Howe$er, when we mo$e into momentum we nee% to han% off an% systemati?e ways of res on%ing to the res onses. !ur management style changes to %oing less oursel$es an% han%ing more off an% %e$elo ing systems an% eo le we can %e en% on to kee buil%ing the ro'ect. ,#n#)e'ent St% e !or E#ch St#)e o! Pro>ect De"e o&'ent During Formulation, you can work alone an% get your ro'ect in some rea%able an% un%erstan%able form. During the ,oncentration hase, you will be contacting other eo le. Get someone to start hel ing you here. Day them or make an e)change of ser$ices. Ha$e fre(uent short meetings with your hel er or hel ers, with shortCrange commitments an% short range accountability. &hen you hit 1omentum an% things start coming back at you in larger (uantities, han% off some of the authority for many of the %etails. Ha$e less fre(uent meetings of a little longer %uration with eo le being res onsible for whole areas, re orting on what they are han%ling to you an% e$eryone else. "ou nee% to ha$e time for lanning to antici ate momentum. VVVB5*D, %oes the last sentence belong here, or with ,oncentration6< &hen you hit -tability, some meetings shoul% be ha ening without you resent. &hen you %o artici ate, eo le re ort results to you an% to each other an% get your newest $ision an% lans for the future. "ou s en% half your time lanning. 1anaging for Breakthrough is %one by maintaining stability. * re(uest for information comes in an% the reCarrange% acket is sent out followe% by a hone call. &hen the Dresi%ent of the /.-. calls when you %i%n't e) ect it, that is a breakthrough. "ou ha$e on han% the information he wants.
*0+ The Stor% O! An E"o "in) Pro>ect
This is a fictional ro'ect to show you how to a%$ance from the first stage of %e$elo ment ;formulation< through the interme%iate stages of %e$elo ment ;concentration, momentum, an% stability< to the final stage ;breakthrough<. !$er the course of a few years, a lan to buil% a sim le %og house becomes a multimillion %ollar em ire. The writeu is a synthesis of many eo les' e) erience of the e$olution of ro'ects when they become intentional creators for the first time. ;*ny similarity between e$ents %e icte% in this writeu an% actual e$ents is urely coinci%ental. +o animals were harme% or kille% in the writing of this story.< The Be)innin) ;JI1AI>M< 1y name is Daul. # ha$e 'ust com lete% a 5a%ical Honesty &orksho an% ha$e learne% about noticing $ersus thinking. &ith my newly foun% honesty glan%, # ha$e to a%mit # ha$e no clue what my ur ose on this lanet is an% # am relie$e% to know #'ll ha$e some hel figuring this out. *fter some grueling e)ercises an% me firing u arts of my brain that # ne$er knew e)iste%, # write my Dur ose, -tory of my Dersonality, Backgroun% ,ommitment to my ro'ects ro'ect, an% my @ision for my ro'ects ro'ect. #t looks like this.
,% Pur&o$e The ur ose of my life is to use my erse$erance, goo% looks, gastrointestinal talents, an% ha iness by buil%ing things, growing things, caring for animals, an% being ra%ically honest to bring about a worl% in which all beings are more fully ali$e. ,% Stor% o! ,% Per$on# it% 1y theory is that # was raise% in a way that le% me to be a ro$i%er. # ro$i%e for eo le an% animals aroun% me so that # will be like% an% acce te%. The skills # %e$elo e% were working with my han%s, gar%ening, animal husban%ry, an% cooking. #'m also a retty goo% car% layer. # consi%er myself a goo% worker, nice, an% a trustworthy frien%. # want to buil% things that shelter others. # hi%e my feelings behin% silence. # %on't talk much because there usually isn't much nee% for it, but # kee silent e$en when #'m feeling angry or ha y. #'m going to fli this on its hea% by e) ressing myself by buil%ing things that su ort others in being more fully ali$e. The skills # ha$e create% by being a ro$i%er will ser$e meH # will not ser$e them. # choose to %o what # ha$e been con%emne% to %o. 1y life is to ser$e eo le by buil%ing an% ro$i%ing. B#c.)round Co''it'ent to the U'5re # Pro>ect # commit to bringing about a worl% in which all beings are more fully ali$e. # will buil% things, grow things, care for animals, be ra%ically honest, an% create ro'ects. # will create a home for myself an% family. # will su ort my eo le an% the animals in their li$es. 1y tools will be my han%s, my erse$erance, goo% looks, gastrointestinal talents, an% ha iness. Di$ion #nd Fue !or '% U'5re # Pro>ect # am sitting in a big room, a fire bla?ing in front of me. # am warm. # built the chair # am in an% the house aroun% me. # look at the fine log construction. 1y wife *rnel%a comes out of the kitchen an% han%s me a mug of fragrant hot chocolate. # %rink it an% taste its chocolatey goo%ness. 1y sons !bie an% Dhre%erick, %aughters Gri??y an% Bli$et are there with me, talking to each other. Their chil%ren are e$erywhere, climbing un%er furniture, breaking things, screaming. # lo$e them all. Dictures of the -tate ,ham ion %ogs # ha$e raise% o$er the years line the walls. The hone rings. # answer. 0Daul60 says my boss from the laboratory. 0"es,0 # answer. 0+ice 'ob on the %esign for the new buttocks a% for ro%eo steer ri%ers. # think you'$e create% a real winner here.0 # smile as # hang u the hone. Do'#in$ The %omains of my life are Family, *nimal Farm, an% @ocation. Family is the house an% life # share with my wife *rnel%a, my chil%ren !bie, Gri??y, Bli$et an% Dhre%erick, an% our gran%chil%ren. *nimal Farm is the %omain of all ro'ects relating to the si)tyCthree an% a half acres # own in 1ul%ownee ,ounty. This inclu%es my genuine log house, fortyCfi$e animals, an% associate% fencing. @ocation is the %omain of all ro'ects relating to my work an% e) erience
as an 8rgoCDhysicist for the #nterbree%ing Dsycho .aboratory. For this year # ha$e create% the umbrella ro'ect, with one ro'ect in the %omain of Family, one in the %omain of *nimal Farm, an% one in @ocation. +ow that # ha$e my umbrella ro'ect, %omains, ur ose, backgroun% commitment, an% the story of my ersonality, # am rea%y to focus on a single ro'ect. For my first ro'ect # choose to buil% a %oghouse. # own a farm with a lot of animals an% # am an a$i% %og bree%er. 1y close frien% *rchie has an animal farm, too, an% we like to share our accom lishments with each other. .ast 1arch he ha% the ri?eCwinning u y at the state fair. # want to bring into being a %oghouse that will make me rou% an% that # can show *rchie. 1y first writeu follows. Do'#in4 *nimal Farm Pro>ect N#'e4 Buil% the Doghouse Brie! Hi$tor%4 # ha$e always care% for animals since # was a chil%. # own the ,ircle Tem le Du%e Farm. # ha$e bunches of animals an% more get born e$ery %ay. 1y fa$orite is Fifi, a tem eramental uremutt -hetlan% Dony oo%le. -he is li$ing in my laun%ry room an% nee%s a home of her own. B#c.)round Co''it'ent4 Dogs are man's $ery best frien%s. # am committe% to housing my %og Fifi in a comfortable %oghouse. Di$ion$4 Picture (: #'m stan%ing before a freshly ainte% %oghouse an% see its bright colors in the sun. Fifi, my ri?e -hetlan% Dony oo%le, runs out an% licks my face. # feel e)cite% an% rou%. Picture *4 1y frien% *rchie an% # are looking at the %oghouse. *rchie is smiling. # feel rou%. 0Gosh, Daul,0 *rchie says, 0That's one fine %oghouse you got there.0 Co''itted Li$tener4 Bra% Blanton Net-or. o! Su&&ort Peo& e: *rchie 1c*ullif, 2ohn &illiams, 2ane -ythcliff, +ational -hetlan% Dony oo%le *ssociation, fellow worksho gra%uates. St#te: F!51/.*T#!+9,!+,8+T5*T#!+91!18+T/19-T*B#.#T"9 B58*BTH5!/GH # am in Formulation. ,e#$ure: Base% on the %ynamic tension between the resent state an% the future en$isione% that 5obert Frit? talks about in his books, # %i$i%e these measures into three categories4 Future, Dresent, an% !ngoing. Future Ha$e %oghouse built. Ha$e %oghouse ainte%. Ha$e *rchie see %oghouse. Current Do not ha$e %oghouse built. Do not ha$e %oghouse ainte%. *rchie has not seen %oghouse. On)oin) ,heck the air ressure in Fifi's air mattress once a week.
De$cri&tion o! O"er# P #n KAction$L: # will get a lan from the library, urchase materials, construct the %oghouse, an% aint it. !nce com lete%, # will call *rchie an% ha$e him see it. B% When: Go to library for lans >IPI>M Durchase lumber, nails an% glue >IFKI>M ,onstruct %oghouse 1KIAI>M Buy aint 1KI1AI>M Daint %oghouse 1KIFKI>M ,all *rchie an% sche%ule a ointment 1KIF1I>M Ha$e *rchie see %oghouse 1KIGKI>M Date rinte% JI1AI>M The Fir$t Ste&$ K;F*=F<7L: *s # look at my future measures $s. my current state, # clearly see where # am an% where # ha$e to go. 1y $ision fuels me to bring the current to the future. # hea% to the library to get some lans. &hile # am there, the librarian tells me that #'ll nee% a construction ermit for the %oghouse. # resent her for telling me this an% tell her so. -he resents me for my resentment. &e get o$er it an% she offers me lots of hel . # fin% the lans an% get the information on how to file for a ermit. #t says # nee% to submit a form an% ha$e an ins ector look at the house when it's %one. # u %ate my ro'ect writeu when # get home. Ho- thi$ Su&&ort$ ,% Pur&o$e4 # am committe% to caring for all life in a way that will make the lanet a owerful lace to e)ist. St#te: F!51/.*T#!+9,!+,8+T5*T#!+91!18+T/19-T*B#.#T"9 B58*BTH5!/GH -till in formulation hea%e% towar% concentration. ,e#$ure: Future: Ha$e construction ermit. Ha$e %oghouse built. Ha$e %oghouse ainte%. Ha$e *rchie see %oghouse. Current: Do not ha$e construction ermit. Ha$e lans. Do not ha$e %oghouse built. Do not ha$e %oghouse ainte%. *rchie has not seen %oghouse. Action: ,e#$ure 5% When: -ubmit a erwork for ermit >I1AI>M Go to library for lans Done Durchase lumber, nails, an% glue >IFKI>M ,onstruct %oghouse 1KIAI>M Buy aint 1KI1AI>M Daint %oghouse 1KIFKI>M Ha$e ins ector look at %oghouse 1KIF1I>M ,all *rchie an% sche%ule a ointment 1KIF1I>M Ha$e *rchie see %oghouse 1KIGKI>M
Date rinte% JIFKI>M The Stuc. P #ce K;F*6F<7L: # submit the a erwork for the ermit an% feel stuck. # can't %eci%e on a goo% color scheme. 1y committe% listener, Bra%, tells me # %i% a goo% 'ob going to the library an% suggests # reach into my network of su ort for information on aint schemes. # call 2ane -ythcliff, who has built three %oghouses herself ;e$en though she only has two %ogsH go figure< an% she tells me she let her %ogs ick the colors. # know Fifi's fa$orite color is re%, so # go with that. # get a ro$al to buil% base% on my ermit a lication. Fille% with energy, # go to the local Home &arehouse 8m orium an% urchase lumber, nails, glue, brushes, thinner, an% re% aint. Here's how the writeu changes. St#te: F!51/.*T#!+9,!+,8+T5*T#!+91!18+T/19-T*B#.#T"9 B58*BTH5!/GH # am in concentration now. # am in action contacting eo le an% %oing things. ,e#$ure: Current: Ha$e file% a erwork for ermit. Ha$e recei$e% okay to start buil%ing. Do not ha$e construction ermit. Ha$e lans. Do not ha$e %oghouse built. Do not ha$e %oghouse ainte%. *rchie has not seen %oghouse. ,o'entu' K<F((F<7<4 &ith materials in han%, # start buil%ing. # am singing, hammering an% %rinking lemona%e in the hot sun. # eat some cookies too, which makes my stomach a little u set, but # ha$e this icture in my hea% of this %oghouse an% # ain't sto ing for nothing. # cut boar%s, hammer nails, an% start framing the %oghouse. Fifi yi s e)cite%ly. *fter a whole %ay of this, half an afternoon at the emergency room for a hammerCsmashe% thumbnail, an% an e$ening of touchu , #'$e built the %oghouse. Here's how the writeu changes. &ith the com letion of the construction, that accom lishment goes to the Brief History section an% the tasks are u %ate%, too. 1y original $ision ha%n't inclu%e% a smashe% thumb, but # ut it in the history section because ro'ects %on't always come out e)actly as you en$ision them an% # want to remember it. E@& o$i"e 3ro-th K<F(6F<7L: #n my ne)t con$ersation with Bra%, he congratulates me on finishing the construction of the %oghouse. He asks about Fifi, too, which # a reciate him for an% tell him so. He also encourages me to think big an% grow the ro'ect. *fter the call #'m so e)cite% about what #'$e create% so far that # %eci%e to e) an% my Backgroun% ,ommitment. #f Fifi can ha$e the benefits of my creating, why can't all %ogs li$e as Fifi will li$e6 1y ur ose states that # will 0bring about a worl% in which all beings are more fully ali$e.0 # re$ise my ro'ect to encom ass all %ogs benefiting from my e) erience of buil%ing this %oghouse. B#c.)round Co''it'ent: Dogs are man's $ery best frien%s. # am committe% to housing my %og Fifi in a comfortable %oghouse. # commit to creating Fifi's house as an e)am le of how %ogs can li$e a ha y, holistic e)istence. # commit to bringing this message to all %og owners an% creating a su ort network of %oghouse buil%ers throughout the worl%. Di$ion:
Picture 0: #'m stan%ing out%oors before a grou of eo le an% %ogs who are (uietly watching me. # feel a ner$ous energy in my throat an% chest. # am warm. # s eak into a micro hone. 0Fellow %og owners, # ha$e a icture in my hea% # want to share. #t's a house for e$ery %ogH a lan% where e$ery %og li$es a ha y life.0 The roar of cla ing an% barking is %eafening. # feel e)cite%. # feel a heat in my forehea% an% my heart racing. # am ha y. +ote4 #'$e change% the sco e of the ro'ect, so # u %ate% the name an% backgroun% commitment an% a%%e% a new $ision. The new $ision create% some new measures. Di$ion Beco'e$ Re# it% K<F*(F<7L: # set to work, fille% with assion. ,om leting Fifi's %oghouse is a iece of a larger icture now, so # focus on getting it accom lishe%. # aint the %oghouse, call the ins ector, an% call *rchie. #'m stan%ing before the freshly ainte% %oghouse an% # see its bright colors in the sun. Fifi runs out an% licks my face. # feel e)cite% an% rou%. # call Bra% an% he encourages me to kee going, so # call Denelo e Demberton, resi%ent of the local cha ter of the +ational -hetlan% Dony oo%le *ssociation ;+-D*<, an% tell her #'% like to s eak at the ne)t meeting. -he is olite an% tells me she'll consi%er it. # re$ise my ro'ect. Bre#.throu)h K<F*7F<7<4 The ins ector shows u an% grouses about a lack of a%e(uate lumbing, then reluctantly awar%s me the ermit after # gi$e him a %elicious glass of lemona%e. *rchie shows u an% is im resse%. 0Hey, Daul,0 *rchie says, 0That's one nice %oghouse.0 # feel rou%. * week later, # get a call from Denelo e Demberton who says she'% like me to come s eak at the +-D* meeting after hearing about my %oghouse from a frien% who knew *rchie's secon% cousin. * arently it ha% been going aroun% like wil%fire at *rchie's family reunion that #'% built a great %oghouse. * %ay after that, # get a call from the %irector of the #nternational .abra%or 5etrie$er -ociety. He is utting together an emergency bulletin on the shortage of %oghouses in the worl% an% hear% that # was going to be a feature% s eaker at the +-D* meeting. He'% like me to write an article on the sub'ect. *ma?e% at my ability to create, # re$ise my ro'ect. Di$ion: Picture 4: # am sitting at a table surroun%e% by eo le clamoring for my attention. # feel warm an% e)cite%. Hun%re%s of co ies of my new book, /oghouses for a *etter World, are stacke% on the table. # scribble my autogra h in another co y an% han% it to a erson who smiles an% shakes my han%. *nother et owner lea%s a beautiful -t. Bernar% u to the table. 0Freckles 'ust wante% to say thank you,0 says the owner. &ithout being comman%e%, the %og looks at me with ha y eyes an% raises its aw to shake. 1y eyes fill with tears. 1y heart is full to the bursting oint. # reach %own an% take the %og's aw. # ha$e ma%e a %ifference. St#5i it% K(F6F<7L: 1y ro'ect has brought me much 'oy an% has grown tremen%ously. # now maintain it an% continue to e) an% it more slowly. # work more on ongoing measures, ensuring Fifi is taken care of an% s rea%ing my message about the benefits of %oghouse life. Net-or. o! Su&&ort: *rchie 1c*ullif, 2ohn &illiams, 2ane -ythcliff, Denelo e
Demberton, +ational -hetlan% Dony oo%le *ssociation, +ational Dekinese Dancing *ssociation, Basset Guitar Dlayers Fellowshi , fellow worksho gra%uates. ,e#$ure$: Future: Ha$e written an% submitte% book ro osal for /oghouses for a *etter World. Current: Ha$e written book ro osal. Ha$e not submitte%. On)oin): ,heck the air ressure in Fifi's air mattress once a week. ,on%uct tours of Fifi's %oghouse once a month. 5efresh the aint on Fifi's house once e$ery si) months. - eak at a %og lo$ers' grou once a month. &rite a 'ournal article once e$ery three months. The Future: # can ree$aluate my ro'ect an% %eci%e to s lit off my writing an% s eaking career into a %ifferent ro'ect, start a %oghouse consulting business, or finish my ublic acti$ities an% li$e ha ily knowing that #'$e %one my art. Ha$ing create% what # ha$e, # know # ha$e the ower to mo$e in any %irection # want. # woke u , # laye%, # sle t. Then # %i% it all o$er again.
*ll the work of writing a ro'ect outline is only re aration for the act of creation itself. /ltimately, your ro'ects %e en% mostly on how you contact other eo le an% how you talk an% listen to them. "ou want to contact other eo le in such a way that you get their attention an% enroll them in hel ing you bring your $ision into being. Belie$e it or not, most of the eo le you know want 'ust about the same thing you want. ,larity of formulation changes your listening. The whole writeu system was for one ur ose, which is to ha"e an effect on how you speak and listen in the real world of human interaction. &hat it takes to li$e the life of an artist is ongoing honest communication an% com letion an% action consistent with your $ision. The whole rocess of creating ro'ects consistent with your life ur ose is also for one reason, which is to ha"e an effect on how you speak and listen. Dro'ects are brought into being by s eaking an% listening. !f the two, listening is more im ortant. &hat you hear, once you ha$e com lete% the %esign of a ro'ect, is %ifferent from what you hear% before you %esigne% the ro'ect. #n your %aily life, what you notice when you rea%, watch tele$ision, o$erhear on the subway, an% generally ay attention changes once you ha$e com lete% your ro'ect writeu s. * $ariety of eo le show u to hel you, teach you, work with you, work for you, ha$e you work for them7all in ways consistent with your ro'ect ob'ecti$es. They woul% not show u
P#rt Four Ho- to S&e#. #nd Li$ten Your Pro>ect$ into Bein) Introduction to P#rt Four
*0+ Cre#tin) # Conte@t
for you ha% you not clearly conce tuali?e% your ro'ects an% your life ur ose an% your wis%om about the atterns of sur$i$al in your own life. &hen you s eak about what you ha$e notice% an% what you ha$e hear%, your s eaking is in the conte)t of the ro'ects you ha$e create% an% contributes to the accom lishment of those ro'ects by getting a con$ersation starte% that has a life of its own. Deo le kee talking about your $ision an% your work when you aren't there. "ou become more an% more articulate as the con$ersation goes on because you get more an% more information an% more an% more ractice articulating your goals. "our $ision gets built u an% elaborate% on by the con$ersation. 8$entually, you ha$e a series of laser statements about what you are about in life. These are clear an% articulate soun% bytes that eo le get imme%iately, remember, an% re eat to other eo le an% back to you. These come naturally from ractice in s eaking while you are focuse% on your intentions an% creations. "ou learn through ractice how to s eak so eo le will listen an% listen so eo le will s eak. # recommen% a number of books, inclu%ing The &rtist's Way by 2ulia ,ameron an% #reating an% The ,ath of 'east $esistance by 5obert Frit?. "ou can fin% a list of books, websites, an% worksho s at the en% of this book. #n 1>PP, &erner 8rhar% starte% a ro'ect to en% star$ation on the lanet by the year FKKK, an% he wrote a brochure. #n 1>PJ the brochure was ublici?e%, clearly %efining the ob'ecti$es of what the foun%ers ha% name% the Hunger Dro'ect. This is ossibly the best brochure written %uring the twentieth century. #n this unlikely lace7the mi%%le ages of a brochure 7there occurre% what seems to me one of the most brilliant syntheses of the twentieth century's e$olution of thought in linguistics, hiloso hy, an% the stu%y of the min%. * segment of that brochure follows4 0&hat causes an i%ea's time to come60 &hen you know the answer to that, you are no longer a mere s eck of roto lasm on a %ustball hurtling through s ace. "ou know how to make an im act on the worl%. "ou know what can make your life matter. The answer to 0&hat causes an i%ea's time to come60 is what the Hunger Dro'ect is all about. The Hunger Dro'ect is not about %oing something more to en% hunger. #t is not about %oing something better to en% hunger. #t is not a %ifferent set of solutions to the roblem of hunger. #t is sim ly about causing the en% of hunger an% star$ation on this lanet to be an i%ea whose time has come. The eo le who enroll themsel$es in the ro'ect commit themsel$es to that. &hat they %o will be %eri$e% from that commitment. The (uestion, 0&hat causes an i%ea's time to come60 belongs to a articular class of (uestion. #ts answer is not the normal an% con$entional, reasonable ty e of %escri ti$e or e) lanatory statement that a min% likes, that we are use% to han%ling. #t is not an e) osition, conce t or theory. The
answer to this class of (uestion is, instea%, a rinci le more owerful than all the forces in the worl%. To answer this class of (uestion, you ha$e to gi$e u your normal way of arri$ing at answers. 5ather than knowing more an% then more as you go along, you will nee% instea% to be willing to know less an% less7that is to say, to become somewhat more confuse% as you go along. Finally you will ha$e struggle% enough to be clear that you %on't know. #n the state of knowing that you %on't know, you get, as a flash of insight, the rinci le ;i.e., the abstraction< out of which the answer comes. &hile this is work that transcen%s or%inary intellect, all it re(uires is an unusually high %egree of o enness, commitment an% intention. "ou will nee% these (ualities to get you ast the im atience, frustration an% confusion that almost certainly will result from the feeling that what you are rea%ing %oesn't make any sense. #n fact, the statement we are seeking isn't sensibleH it transcen%s the senses. !ne %oesn't test the $ali%ity of such a statement by seeing if it fits into one's system of beliefs. The test is whether there is a resulting shift from contro$ersy, frustration an% gesturing to mastery, mo$ement an% com letion. *nswers in this class are fun%amental rinci lesH they are the source of arts, rather than the ro%uct of arts. They come as a whole, which whole can then be %i$i%e% into ieces. "ou cannot reach the whole by a%%ing u iecesH ob$iously the ieces %on't e$en e)ist as ieces until there is a whole of which to be a iece. *nswers in this class7 fun%amental rinci les7can be known only by creating them. C#u$in) #n ide#'$ ti'e to co'e &hat causes an i%ea's time to come6 *n i%ea's time comes when the state of its e)istence is transforme% from content to conte!t. *s a content, an i%ea e) resses itself as, or takes the form of, a osition. * osition is %e en%ent for its $ery e)istence on other ositionsH ositions e)ist only in relation to other ositions. The relationshi is one of agreement or %isagreement with other ositions. This agreement or %isagreement manifests itself in $arious forms. For e)am le, your osition is similar to, coo erates with, or su orts other ositionsH it is in%e en%ent from or ignores other ositionsH it rotests, conflicts with, or o oses other ositions. Dositions e)ist by $irtue of contrast, such as being %ifferent from, or more than, or unrelate% to, or better than other ositions. * osition cannot stan% by itselfH it is not selfCsufficient. To come at this from another %irection, we can look at content as a thing, because an i%ea as a osition is a thing.
That which is without limits is either e$erything or nothing, an% therefore not something, not a thing. #t follows then that a thing re(uires limits to e)ist. These limits are e) resse% as the boun%ary of that thing. -ince the e)istence of a thing is %e en%ent on its boun%ary, an% a boun%ary, by %efinition, is that lace between a thing an% notCthatCthing, ;i.e., something else<, the e)istence of a thing is %e en%ent on something else. Therefore a thing, a content, is %e en%ent on something outsi%e itself for e)istence. ,ontent is not selfC sufficient. #onte!t is not %e en%ent on something outsi%e itself for e)istenceH it is whole an% com lete in itself an%, as a function of being whole, it allows for, it generates arts7that is to say, it generates content. #ontent is a iece, a art of the wholeH its $ery nature is artial. #onte!t is the wholeH its nature is com lete. &hen an i%ea e)ists as a osition7when it is a content7 then it is an i%ea whose time has not come. &hen an i%ea's time has not come, whate$er you %o to materiali?e or reali?e that i%ea %oes not work. &hen an i%ea's time has not come, you ha$e a con%ition of unworkability in which what you %o %oesn't work, an% you %on't %o what works. &hen an i%ea is transforme% from content to conte)t, then it is an i%ea whose time has come. &hen an i%ea is transforme% from e)istence as a osition to e)istence as a s ace, then it is an i%ea whose time has come. +ow an i%ea as a osition literally re(uires other ositions for its e)istence, while an i%ea as s ace is both selfCsufficient, re(uiring nothing else in or%er to e)ist, an% allows for7is the s ace of7the e)istence of other i%eas. &hen an i%ea is transforme% from e)isting as a function of other i%eas to being the s ace that allows all other i%eas, then it is an i%ea whose time has come. &hen an i%ea is transforme% from content to conte)t, then it is an i%ea whose time has come. Cre#tin) # conte@tG &uttin) # '#n on the 'oon ,onte)ts are create% by the -elf, out of nothing. &hen you sto i%entifying yourself as a thing, as a osition, an% start e) eriencing your -elf as the conte)t, as the s ace, for your life7when you start e) eriencing that you are the conte)t in which the content of your life occurs7you will automatically an% necessarily e) erience res onsibility for all the content in your s ace. "ou will e) erience that you are whole an% com lete an% that you are aligne% with other -el$es, with the -elf. &hen you e) erience your -elf as s ace, you create conte)ts from which you can come into the worl%. !ne such conte)t is the en% of hunger an% star$ation on our lanet
within two %eca%es. "ou are robably not yet clear about what conte)t is7at least not how it works7so we'll use an e)am le. !n 1ay FA, 1>M1, Dresi%ent 2ohn F. Benne%y initiate% a conte)t when he tol% ,ongress4 0This nation shoul% commit itself to achie$ing the goal, before this %eca%e is out, of lan%ing a man on the moon an% returning him safely to the earth.0 By creating the conte)t, 0* man on the moon in 1K years,0 Benne%y transforme% s ace tra$el from merely a goo% i%ea 7which ha% not succee%e% %es ite consi%erable attem ts, the feasibility of which ha% been (uestione%, argue%, an% %iscusse%7into an i%ea whose time ha% come. The result of what Benne%y %i% can be un%erstoo% by analogy. #t is as if he create% a buil%ing name%, 0* man on the moon in ten years,0 an% insi%e that buil%ing he ut offices for all the $arious i%eas, ositions, notions an% eo le that ha% to %o with s ace flight. The first office insi%e the front %oor of the buil%ing in 1>M1 woul% ha$e been calle%, 0#t can't be %one.0 This office woul% ha$e been inhabite% by the ske tics an% cynics. * content or osition can be threatene% by any o osite osition. Gi$en two o osing ositions only one can sur$i$e. !n the other han%, a conte)t gi$es s ace to, it literally allows, it e$en encourages, ositions that are a arently o osite. #n fact, the most im ortant osition in a newly create% conte)t is the osition which a ears to o ose the conte)t. #t is im ortant to get that o osing ositions actually contribute to establishing a conte)t. #n the case of the ci$il rights mo$ement %uring the 1>MK's, for e)am le, all those eo le who o ose% ci$il rights for blacks actually contribute% to creating a national %ialogue that %emonstrate% to the country that the issue coul% no longer be ignore%. 8$ery go$ernment official in the -outh who stoo% in the %oorway of a school an% re$ente% black chil%ren from entering ha% been a cause, a art of the ersistence, of the roblem, of the o ression. *fter the creation of a conte)t70e(ual rights an% %ignity for blacks07 the "ery same action that ha% been a art of the roblem's ersistence became an action contributing to the en% of legal %iscrimination against minority races. Then, e$ery such action contribute% to an increase% awareness of the issue, to the assage of ci$il rights legislation, an% to the gra%ual change in attitu%e that ultimately e$i%ence% itself in the recognition that ci$il rights was an i%ea whose time ha% come. #n a newlyCcreate% conte)t the most im ortant osition is the osition, 0#t can't be %one.0 That is the first an% most
im ortant content to be rocesse%, to be realigne%. *nyone who has create% a conte)t knows that conte)t generates rocessH rocess in turn grin%s u content, it changes content so that it becomes aligne% with the conte)t. #n the buil%ing of 0* man on the moon in 1K years,0 the ske tics an% cynics were working on 0it can't be %one0 in the conte)t of %oing it, so that instea% of being a threat or a sto to the goal, su%%enly their ske ticism an% cynicism starte% contributing to the achie$ement of the goal. *ll the forces of the worl% are not so owerful as an i%ea whose time has come. ,onte)t generates rocess. * conte)tuallyCgenerate% rocess transcen%s the e)isting forcesH it transforms those forces. * conte)tuallyCgenerate% rocess aligns the e)isting forces within the conte)t. Then the aligne% forces ro$i%e a con%ition of workability. 8$ery action taken in a conte)t is a fulfillment of, an e) ression of, an% a manifestation of that conte)t. The essimism, the cynicism, the osition, 0#t can't be %one,0 are groun% u by the rocess generate% by the conte)t, an% are transforme% into the material out of which the result is achie$e%. &hen an i%ea is transforme% so that the a arently o osing i%ea actually $ali%ates an% gi$es e) ression to the i%ea, then it is an i%ea whose time has come. ;The Hunger Dro'ect brochure, 1>PJ< # ha$e been a member of the Hunger Dro'ect for twentyCthree years. Hunger an% star$ation are still ongoing. The number of chil%ren %ying from star$ation has %ecrease% but not been eliminate%. *n incre%ible number of e$ents ha$e resulte% from millions of us hol%ing the conte)t4 the ban%ing together of artists an% musicians an% athletes an% oliticians, the creation of Ban% *i% an% .i$e *i%, the coor%ination of all the relief agencies of the worl% an% all their efforts, the growth of /+#,8F, the creation of 5esults ;the olitical lobbying grou that grew out of the Hunger Dro'ectK, the writing of books an% articles, the ro%uction of tele$ision s ecials, an% many, many other e$ents. These results ha$e brought us closer to our goal but we ha$e not succee%e% in the time we originally allotte% oursel$es. *t this writing there are se$en months left. Benne%y's conte)t resulte% in a man on the moon in eight years. The ci$il rights mo$ement, which # was acti$e in from 1>A> to 1>M4, ha% by that time resulte% in the assage of legislation that outlawe% %esegregation. But the o$erall conte)t of e(uality of races is still not accom lishe%. The antiC@ietnam &ar mo$ement, which # artici ate% in from 1>MG to 1>PF, %i% e$entually hel bring about an en% to that war. +ow, thirty years later, there has been general acknowle%gment that it was a terrible mistake 'ust as we sai% it was then. But the ongoing use of the military soCcalle% solutions like the Gulf &ar an% +*T!'s war on -erbia of recent times reflects that the conte)t of secrecy an% force has not been effecti$ely brought to an en%. ;There are still thirtyCsi) se arate secret ser$ices in the
military an% the go$ernment an% almost a (uarter of the entire national bu%get for the /nite% -tates is still being com letely s(uan%ere% on the military in%ustrial com le).< *s 1arianne &illiamson says in The +ealing of &merica, 0&e shoul%n't be o$er im resse% by terms like 'foreign olicy', huge secreti$e counterintelligence agencies, an% go$ernment %e artments that lay the worl% like a giant chessboar% an% $iew it as no more than a game we're trying to win. Our consciousness shoul% %ri$e them> their consciousness shoul%n't %ri$e us.0 The com letion of the results for any conte)t is har% to achie$e on a s ecific timetable, but in the min%s of many hun%re%s of thousan%s of us, the time for an en% to forcible solutions is long ast %ue. Life Purpose and Pro;ects as #onte3t The life li$e%, as a conte)t within which the e$ents of life occur, consciously create% by %eclaration with others, is the most won%erful life ossible. * life s ent creating new ossibilities for eo le that allow them free%om an% ower they ha$e ne$er known before is a $ision we can an% %o all share. The conte)t for a nation that was en$isione% in the Declaration of #n%e en%ence generate% the /nite% -tates as an i%ea whose time ha% come. The $ision can, an% has been, be twiste% all to hell by oliticians an% military folks who call us forth to our share% $ision an% then ri us off by laying a%olescent war games. #t is time we reca ture% from those more limite% folks the metho%ology an% res onsibility for bringing that $ision into being. -o when you %esign your life an% write your ro'ects, think big. Think of your own sweet self, the being you are, as the conte)t in which the whole worl% occurs. Then think of your min%'s $ision of the future as the conte)t within that conte)t an% bring your $ision into being. Ha$e whate$er %oghouse you come u with e$entually lea% to transformation of the worl%. 2oin with others of us who are transforming the worl% to hel us an% those we are hel ing. #t makes all the %ifference there is to be ma%e in the worl%. #ontact and #onte3t How we contact other eo le7in such a way that we get their attention an% learn about what they are engage% in an% committe% to7an% the way we enroll them in hel ing us bring our $ision into being is something that can be learne% through lanning an% ractice. ,larity of formulation changes your listening. The whole writeu system was for one ur ose, which is to ha"e an effect on how the pro6ect author speaks and listens out there in the real world of human interaction. *ll the work of writing a ro'ect is only re aration for the act of creation itself because a ro'ect creates a conte)t so that creation through s eaking an% listening about it can occur. The act of creation re(uires that you o erate in alignment with others, an% that you un%erstan% the %ifference between taking a osition about what 0shoul%0 be in the worl% an% creating a conte)t within which what you want to create becomes ossible, then likely, an% then a reality. *6+ It'$ A Lot O! Wor. To ,#.e A Ne- Stor%1 I$n't It/ No- Wh#t/
+ow that you'$e got your new story straight, now that you are organi?e%, now that you ha$e %one all that work an% ma%e a goo% big cra?y lan, now that you ha$e thought har% an% know how to s eak an% listen about your life ro'ects so that you get a lot of hel from other eo le...now what6 +ow you ha$e to commit a kin% of suici%e. # %on't mean kill yourself literally. # 'ust mean, let's kill the outline of your %ream. Do this. 1ake co ies of your ro'ect writeu s an% gi$e them to your committe% listeners. Then burn all the co ies you ha$e of your ro'ect writeu s. 8rase all the content arts on your com uter. Bee no written recor%s of your work. Burn your lans. .ose your seriousness. ,elebrate the futility of all your efforts. Get in touch with the meaninglessness of life. .augh at the futility of creating meanings in life. .ook at what a fool you are. .ook at what fools we all are. Become a $illage i%iot. Talk with your com atriots about the futility of human life. *s &.H. *u%en sai% of &illiam "eats in his o%e to him u on the occasion of his %eath, 0-ing of human unsuccess, in a ra ture of %istress.0 1ake a big arty out of the %es air. Become a futilitarian. &hat ha$e you %one6 The morning after, let it hit you. The only written co ies of the elements of your %ream are in the han%s of your committe% listeners. The only recor% of your har% work is in your min% an% the min%s of your best frien%s. The only ossibility of anyone else e$er knowing what you are u to is your s eaking an% your listening an% theirs. The only ath left to follow is the only ath there is to follow7the ath of your own creation9if you coul% 'ust remember what it was. !ne of the things we know about us human beings is we li$e in a story. &e sel%om come out of our stories. &e act accor%ing to whate$er big story ;calle% a culture< we are born into, accor%ing to metho%s of image sur$i$al we %e$elo e% from the %ysfunctional families ma%e u of unha y eo le trying to li$e u to the cultural story they were born into. They were unha y because the big story %i%n't fit reality, when they were le% to belie$e it was reality by their arents an% teachers an% other intimate cult brainwashers. The big story turne% out to be an illusion. &hen the cult in our min%s is transcen%e% with enough awareness an% enough work, the transcen%ence is tem orary because we fall back into the waiting arms an% conte)ts of the cult of which we are members. The only ossible way of mo%ifying the %irection of the cultural flow that constantly swee s us towar% its own en%s is to make a new cult of frien%s who know better than to belie$e the lies of the current o$ercult. That is a lot of work, but ha ier work, because we know that our beliefs are not reality and we are not trying to make them real anymore. But watch out. They will become our reality. &e not only ha$e to o$ercome the culture into which we were born an% in which our ersonal stories of sur$i$al %e$elo e%, but we also ha$e to o$ercome the tool all cults get built with7a thing calle% the min%. The min% is a stone col% cultmaker. #t must be fre(uently %e ose%, fire%, retire%, sus en%e%, ut on robation, aban%one%, o$erthrown, interru te%, inhibite%. The min% is 'ust a tool to tool aroun% with. +othing
any min% has e$er ro%uce% is sacre%. Don't e$er forget that. +e$er min%, forget it. #'ll remin% you again later if you'll %o the same for me. # in$ite you to li$e among the outlaws. ,ome on into our cult of cults. But remember, our re$olutions come, at a minimum, once e$ery si) months. #f you write u all your ro'ects thoroughly in 2anuary an% then %estroy them, %o it all o$er again in 2une. !$erthrow the go$ernment each time it forms. .egislators who are attache% to tra%ition are ignoramuses. #t %oesn't take much in this %ay an% age to know that. Don't e$er forget it. &ell, go ahea% an% forget it, but somebo%y kee track an% remin% the rest of us in si) months or so. This is how we change the worl%4 by staying groun%e% in our e) erience in the here an% now through ractices focuse% on noticing, telling the truth an% listening to our frien%s an% hel ing them, an% %esigning our li$es consciously together using ara%igms we buil%, act on, an% throw away7or buil%, throw away, an% act on. &e take a%$antage of the shoul%ers we ha$e been allowe% to stan% u on to see into the future with an% we kee our s ecies going an% %efining itself as homo creatus. &e are a cult an% we lan to take o$er the worl%. &e like to call this the cult of cults or the o$ercult. *n o$ercult is what you ut on to go out into the col% weather out there amongst the true belie$ers. !rtho%o)y is the enemy. !ur min%s are incline% to become attache% to the 'ail of belief out of cowar%ice an% fatigue. +ew energy only comes from getting o$er beliefs. !nce you ha$e a big backlog of beliefs, you are in %anger of going %ea% fore$er. 1ost eo le %ie from not em tying the trash. * cult is a baby culture. -o, if you want to be a car%Ccarrying member of our cult, here is what you %o. Burn your car% e$ery si) months. &rite u your ro'ects an% your umbrella ro'ect e$ery si) months. Do a goo% thorough 'ob. -en% off subC arts to your committe% listeners. -en% the umbrella ro'ect to your committe% listener or listeners. 5ea% it o$er carefully one last time an% make the final corrections that make it almost erfect. Then burn it. 8rase the contents from your com uter. Bee the structure% hea%ings. Bee this book. &e will burn that later. Ha$e a goo% life laying with this now.
P#rt Fi"e: P#r#di)'$ And Conte@t$: The Re"o ution O! Con$ciou$ne$$ Introduction to &#rt !i"e
This section is a kin% of summary about transcen%ence. &hat we are transcen%ing is the normal life of being lost in the min%. &hen we %o that we ha$e to change the worl%. 2ose h ,am bell, in his book, The +ero with a Thousand Faces, .refine% from rea%ing all the holy books, myths, %reams an% stories of all the cultures of mankin%, what he calle% the 1onomyth, the uni$ersal theme that is to be foun% in human literature. !ur human stories tell us what it is to be a human being. The heroes 'ourney goes roughly like this4 * $ery unlikely being ;like a hobbit, or a car enter, or a car enter's son, etc.< has lai% u on him the task of sa$ing his kin%. #n or%er to accom lish this task the hero must $enture into the unknown. The entrance to the unknown is always guar%e% by terrifying beings ;gargoyles, %ragons, the rince of e$il, etc.<. The hero must
answer the call by facing the %emons at the gate, win his way through, an% $enture into the unknown. There he must attain something ;throw the ring in the fire, get the sil$er chalice, gol%en fleece, holy of holies, etc.< an% bring it back into the worl% of the known. *fter that, the worl% is sa$e%, but nothing is like it use% to be. The ast is %ea% an% the worl% will ne$er be the same, but life can go on. +ow the time has come for us to ha$e a new kin% of hero. The hero we now nee%s aborning is a grou . There is now the nee% for a kin% of heroic union of human beings, unlikely though they may be, to sa$e the worl% of human beings. The %emons at the gate are fearsome, multiCnational cor orations an% a worl% economic or%er with immense ower to %estroy li$es at the blink of an eye. Facing them is the first ste to winning through to the unknown. &e unlikely heroes must bring back to the worl% of the known the wis%om nee%e% to make a new worl%.
*7+ Nor'#
The following aragra hs are e)cer ts from Genetic Dsychology 1onogra hs. The %ouble s aces between aragra hs mean that some significant ortion of the o$er JKC age re ort has been ski e% in this attem t to summari?e the highlights. This was the first significant social sychological stu%y of normalcy for grownu eo le. 0This stu%y of ersonal a%'ustment was art of the Bansas ,ity -tu%y of *%ult .ife, con%ucte% by members of the /ni$ersity of ,hicago ,ommittee on Human De$elo ment in collaboration with ,ommunity -tu%ies, #nc., of Bansas ,ity %uring the years 1>AFCAA. The -tu%y of *%ult .ife was aime% at %e$elo ing metho%s of stu%ying mi%%leCage% eo le that woul% gi$e knowle%ge of that art of the lifeCcycle com arable with our knowle%ge of chil%hoo% an% a%olescence. Four arallel stu%ies were ma%e, %ealing res ecti$ely with social role erformance, ersonality structure an% change, social status an% social mobility, an% attitu%es towar% the rocess of growing ol%er %uring the a%ult years. 8ach of the four stu%ies was ma%e with a se arate, arallele% sam le of eo le age% 4K to MA or PK91i%%le age is at once the fruit of earlier life an% the foresha%ower of the later years. -o much has been stu%ie% of chil%hoo% an% youth, it is sur rising how little scientific research has been %e$ote% to the conse(uences of earlier %e$elo ment on the a%'ustments eo le make in the mi%%le years. 1oreo$er, while it has fre(uently been obser$e% that a%'ustment to ol% age is a%umbrate% by one's way of life in mi%%le age, the obser$ation has not been systematic. Finally, life %uring the mi%%le years is of no little interest in itself, to all of us who li$e through these years. For such reasons, this stu%y was un%ertaken4 to fin% out what life is like, sychologically, for *mericans between AK an% MAH how ersonal a%'ustment7mental health7is relate% to age, se), an% socioeconomic statusH an% what (ualities of ersonality %istinguish the 0successful a%'uster0 an% the 0unsuccessful a%'usters.0 #n the
rocess, a test was lanne% of the $ali%ity an% utility of certain ro'ecti$e analyses, as a metho% of measuring ersonality an% a%'ustment9 The stu%y was ma%e by inter$iewing 11J eo le, MK men an% AJ women, who li$e% in greater Bansas ,ity, an area of four counties in 1issouri an% Bansas, which inclu%e% the cities of Bansas ,ity ;1issouri< an% Bansas ,ity ;Bansas<, as well as a number of smaller laces an% some o en farming country. The selection of eo le was %one on a stratifie% ran%om attern, using census %ata to locate, geogra hically, robablyCa ro riate eo le to inter$iew. &hile recogni?ing the limitations of re resentational sam ling, in one metro olitan area, it was ho e% that some reasonably stable generali?ations might be %rawn concerning the mental health an% ha iness of mi%%le age% *mericans9 &hat is a +ormal Derson6 #t is at once a sobering an% a thoughtC stirring e) erience to become intimately ac(uainte% with any grou of eo le. To know for the first time, %es ite thousan%s of in%i$i%ual case stu%ies in ast years, that this is at last a com letely re resentati$e sam le of our eo le7this is a uni(ue e) erience9 &hat is the 0normal0 erson like6 There are times, in stu%ying case after case, when one sa%ly muses that erha s Thoreau was literally right. Derha s most men7an% women7%o lea% li$es of (uiet %es eration. ,ertainly, the chaos of bewil%erment, the tem est of unreasoning assion, the whine of yearsClong unha iness, the tremen%ous sorrow of engulfing trage%y7these are not strange to the ty ical *merican. He, or she, has li$e% with them an% is li$ing with their echoes... The 'oy of utter mastery of life6 This is a rare e) erience, encountere% by few eo le. 1ore ty ical is a (uiet, slightly u??le% sense of some things lacking, some s ots of grey where colors ought to beH an% all beyon% one's com rehension to i%entify, or one's skill to reme%y9 For more than half of us, life is a matter of settling for a goo% %eal less than we want. &e know itH we'$e known it for yearsH an% we are %eci%e%ly not ha y at the many moments when we think about our losses, our %isa ointments, an% our ne$erCwill be's. For such of us, life is ne$er brilliantly ha y. /nalloye% 'oy is an unknown or forgotten sensation. Too many hurts, big an% little, ha$e chi e% the bright colors away9 "et for this 0almost a$erage0 *merican, life is not really a matter for %es air. !n the contrary, he an% she ri%e themsel$es on 0making
out,0 an% 0getting along0H an% what is more, they %o get along, an% make their way. #f they %on't ha$e nearly the lo$e, or stature, or leasure, or security their hearts hunger for, they %on't sink into selfC ity. #f bright ha iness is out of reach, a more sha%e% kin% is still attainable. *bo$e all, there is the selfCres ect, %imly but rou%ly felt, of the erson who makes his own lace in life... *re there com letely ha y eo le6 +o. &e fin% no one whose life is, an% has been, without some har%Chitting frustration or some rofoun% sorrow. &hen a belo$e% arent %ies, or a 'ustCgrown chil%7what %oor of esca e is there6 There is no way out of the grief e)ce t to li$e through it. De ression an% %e$astating floo% once swe t away the economic roots an% the sychological roots of many of these eo le in Bansas ,ity, for e)am leH an% many more ha$e nee%e% years to heal the scars9 -ometimes it seems as if we ask too much of life an% of oursel$es. &e want 0 erfect0 ha iness, 0 erfect0 eace of min%, 0 erfect0 mental health. *s far as all e) erience in%icates, along with all the resent %ata, the best one can reasonably ask for is goo% health, mental an% hysical, with which to meet each %ay9 !ur res on%ents ha$e co$ere% e$ery gamut. #n%ee%, a roster of them soun%s like the cast of an o$ercrow%e% 0!ur Town04 the burne%Cout shell of a man, an e)Ccon$ictH the 0social butterfly0 of -ociety Hill, still fla ing se%ucti$ely after FK yearsH the longC wi%owe% relic of a ,ontinental nobleman, li$ing in restricte% circumstancesH the 'olly blacksmith an% his wifeH the oor but honest ser$ing woman who is utting her four chil%ren through high schoolH the man of affairs, who 0glitters when he walksH0 the winsome, wholesome, ha y housewife ;e$en she has known rostrating sorrow for her first husban% committe% suici%e after military ser$ice<H the 0worl%'s best cook0 an% sternest houseC kee erH a raffish, slatternly wife with a lou% guffaw, a %irt fille% house, an% a cra?e for baseballH an aging but agile Don 2uanH a rofoun%ly religious %eacon of the church9 &hat is it to be 0normal06 #t is to be unreasonable with one's s ouse, or chil%ren, se$eral times a week, yet try in a fumbling, half ine t, but sincere way to make it u . #t is to s en% money foolishly, then work har% to stretch what's left till ay%ay. #t is to work all your life as a railroa% man, all your life wishing you'% finishe% school an% gone into law, yet rou% of your FA years of ser$ice. #t is to get %runk e$ery week for years, then 0get religion0 an% sto %rinking, start %oing church work. #t is to marry in haste, %i$orce in haste, an% marry fi$e years later to a erson you lo$e all the rest of your life. This may not be a $ery 0scientific0 way to en% a scientific re ortH
but on the other han%, it is a %irect translation of the e$i%ence on what it means to be a ty ical, normal *merican. $hat is the 5orm of %uffering from which *reater and Lesser %uffering Deviate! # ha$e always lo$e% that beautiful iece of writing by 5obert Deck. That stu%y, con%ucte% with some care an% e) ense o$er forty years ago in the $ery mi%%le of the twentieth century, is a belie$able re ort on normalcy at that time. #t is that icture of mental health u on which we ha$e to im ro$e if the li$es of e"en the a"erage economically better<off people in the world are to ha"e less suffering. &hat stan%s out for me in the li$es %escribe% in the stu%y, base% on the ers ecti$e gi$en me by my teachers an% clients o$er the forty years since it was written, is the courage an% ersistence human beings can manifest in the face of loss. &hat also stan%s out is the ossibility we all ha$e of getting through an% getting o$er things by facing into them com letely an% fully e) eriencing what life brings e$en when it hurts real ba%, an% then going on, ha$ing worke% our way through without a$oi%ance. The wis%om of feeling one's way through to resolution of life's una$oi%able hurts is hinte% at but not (uite fully acknowle%ge% in the re ort. The most owerful benefit of that re ort is the ers ecti$e of the stu%y itself, because # think that ers ecti$e is the most critical element of the ability to transcen% suffering. A "ranscendent Perspective and #ommunity The final art of this book is a focus on ers ecti$e. &e ha$e lots of %ifferent names for transcen%ent ers ecti$es7mo%els, ara%igms, conte)ts, rototy es, archety es7an% we ha$e %e$elo e% a kin% of hierarchy for how some conte)ts subsume or are subsume% by other ones. &hen any in%i$i%ual wakes u an% meets other in%i$i%uals who ha$e awakene%, our life together in community is one of constantly gi$ing each other transcen%ent ers ecti$es. ,onte)ts are transcen%ent ers ecti$es create% by taking an honest look at the way our li$es are an% en$isioning new ways to li$e an% be together. &e can get systematic about this. &e robably cannot con(uer suffering but we can surely use it to create less of it. &e can surely get through it an% o$er it more efficiently by being willing to face an% feel our way through what comes to us because we ha$e a transcen%ent ers ecti$e an% a community of su ort that allows us to lo$e on. !ur goal, as an en% result of the wis%om we ha$e %isco$ere% through sharing an% thinking together, is a transcen%ent $ision for a new olitical an% economic or%er base% on a greater wis%om than 'ust one culture's limite% $iew.
*:+ Cre#tin) A Ne- P#r#di)' B% Cre#tin) A Ne- Conte@t In An O d P#r#di)'

Dara%igms are mo%els of the min%. 1o%els that are agree% u on by a large grou of eo le create cultures. These cultures become the conte)t in which chil%ren are raise%. %t is time to create a new paradigm in any human culture when the "alue of fulfilling cultural e!pectations is generally held to be
more important than the .uality of life of the indi"iduals themsel"es. !r as Denise Breton an% ,hristo her .argent say in The ,aradigm #onspiracy, whene$er 0roles come before souls,0 it is time for a new look at what we are %oing. ,hil%ren are taught to inter ret their e) erience of being, using cultural ara%igms, thereby maintaining the culture an% su orting the ara%igms of their forefathers as though they are what is real. This works okay only briefly an% when it %oesn't work anymore, it causes suffering because mo%els of reality are not to be mistaken for reality7they are 'ust a way of %ealing with reality. &hen ara%igms become illCfitting enough, the suffering they cause e)cee%s their usefulness. ,urrently, in the information age, we are ca able of suffering more (uickly, more intensely, an% more fre(uently from out%ate% ara%igms than e$er before in history. &hen enough human beings suffer intensely as a result of the ba% fit of the ara%igms they use to inter ret the e) erience of being ali$e, they will change the ara%igm. /nless there is enough o ium for the masses, a re$olution occurs. &e are li$ing in the most s ee%e%Cu time of ara%igm break%owns in the history of humankin% because we are communicating more about our suffering. &e are also being ro$i%e% more o ium than e$er before by the guar%ians of the ol% ara%igm. The absolutely brilliant book by Denise Breton an% ,hristo her .argent, The ,aradigm #onspiracy) +ow Our (ystems of o"ernment, #hurch, (chool and #ulture 2iolate Our +uman ,otential, has the best %escri tion of the %ilemma of our current time in history that # ha$e e$er rea%. 5ea% that book to catch u on the current state of ara%igm crashes an% to learn about the ara%igm calle% 0 ara%igms.0 The ,aradigm #onspiracy comes from, an% is written for, the 0reco$ery mo$ement.0 The authors clearly %escribe how eo le who ha$e suffere% from a%%ictions of all kin%s ha$e learne% to o$ercome them by telling the truth an% 'oining together in a new culture of su ort. +ot only %o they en% their $ictimi?ation by a%%ictions through a transcen%ent ers ecti$e, they also lea% our whole culture of sufferers to see that the ara%igms we li$e in %on't work an% that's why we are all suffering. Deo le become a%%icte% to %rugs an% habit atterns as a way to a$oi% suffering, an% the number of a%%icte% eo le reflects the %egree to which the ara%igms they are li$ing in %on't fit. The nee% for ainkillers an% the nee% to %issociate through ritual a$oi%ances of common lace e) erience can be taken as e$i%ence of illCfitting ara%igms. -uffering an% stress is cause% by the min%s of the in%i$i%uals who are suffering an% un%er stress. ,ultures li$e in the min%s of in%i$i%uals. ,ultures are collecti$ely reinforce% through the common con$ersation eo le li$e in. # will refer to The ,aradigm #onspiracy fre(uently an% ara hrase some of its contents, but %o not substitute my use of their wis%om for their full brilliance. Go buy that book an% rea% it. The lea%ers of what has been calle% the reco$ery mo$ement an% their inter reters are on the lea%ing e%ge of the re$olution of consciousness. Breton an% .argent say, 0* lie% to a%%ictions, systems thinking shows that a global e) losion of a%%ictions %oesn't ha en because of a few ba% a les, neither are eo le in ain %efecti$e o%%ities. Global
substance a%%iction into the trillions of %ollars is not an anomalous e$ent. There are system causes an%, behin% them, ara%igm causes. *%%iction soun%s the alarm. &e're acting out in our own li$es an% on each other what it's like to be in systems that are soulCabusi$e by nature.0 The reco$ery mo$ement, some of the sychothera y an% selfChel mo$ement, ractitioners of holistic me%icine, the followers of $arious s iritual teachers, ublic s eakers, authors of books like this one, cor orate trainers an% many others are now synthesi?ing an% broa%casting the wis%om that will create the new, an% bring %own the ol% ara%igm. -ome of the best *merican s okes eo le like 1. -cott Deck, 1arilyn Ferguson, 2ohn Bra%shaw, Dee ak ,ho ra, &erner 8rhar%, -am Been, Tom 5obbins, ,ormac 1c,arthy, ,hris Bristofferson, Dolly Darton, Denise Breton an% ,hristo her .argent, 1arianne &illiamson, +eale Donal% &alsch an% many other artists, songwriters, scri twriters, teachers, authors, 'ournalists an% eo le at large, %i%n't really start out seeing themsel$es as re$olutionaries trying to o$erthrow the go$ernment. They are goo% eo le who ha$e li$e% an% learne% an% share% what they ha$e learne%. They ha$e shown us that %ysfunctional family systems, belief systems that eo le in families li$e by that %on't work an% cause suffering an% alienation for most of the members, a ly not only to little nuclear families an% fragmente% families but to towns an% states an% nations an% the big worl% family. *s 8. 8. ,ummings trie% to tell us, we all li$e in one enormous room. &hen clients in my thera y ractice an% eo le in my worksho s catch on to how their families ha$e cons ire% to control an% manage them, a re$elation %awns on them that is usually e) resse% this way. 0Hey: # %on't ha$e to ut u with this cra :0 *n% then, 0Hey: #'m not utting u with this cra anymore:0 Then they mostly like hanging out with eo le who ha$e ma%e the same %isco$ery. They all 'oin together, shouting 0Hey: &e %on't ha$e to ut u with this cra : &e're not utting u with this cra anymore:0 These eo le then become a new family, usually %ysfunctional in some new way, an% so it goes. The most ob$ious ara%igm, the to C%own or owerCo$er mo%el of control from the to , is reflecte% in the worl% economic structure. #t is base% on making more an% more money for fewer an% fewer eo le an% %oesn't fit to ser$e anyone well in the system generate% by that ara%igm. *s .argent an% Breton oint out, there are a lot of miserable 'unkies at the to as well. The best chance that those on to of the worl% economic structure ha$e to sur$i$e is the illegal %rug tra%e an% the harmaceutical in%ustry7the masses nee% a lot of o ium these %ays. &e ha$e alrea%y %e$elo e% the worl% economic system to a oint of ri%iculous, unbelie$able unwiel%iness. The rich are getting richer an% ro ortionately fewer e$ery %ay. The small number of in%i$i%ual eo le who are billionaires control more resources than the oorer half of all the nations of the worl%. Giant cor orations now control enough of the worl%'s resources to %etermine the %irection of the use of all resources. !f the one hun%re% largest economies in the worl%, fiftyCone of them are not nations, but cor orations. The to two hun%re% cor orations ha$e combine% sales of o$er se$en trillion %ollars 7greater than the combine% Gross +ational Dro%uct of all but nine of the largest nations an% more than the combine% economies of one hun%re% eightyCtwo
nations: *s ointe% out earlier, the a$erage workweek is se$enteen hours longer than it use% to be in 1>A4. %n the past forty years the a"erage workweek has not only e!tended by se"enteen hours a week, but two people are working it while strangers raise their kids. The arents think earning money is the way to take care of their ki%s. &itness the growth of such chil%Ccare chains as ,rYme %e la ,rYme, charging T>KK or more er month. 8$ery GK minutes, to%%lers are shuffle% off to another classroom an% a %ifferent caregi$er. The ki%s suffer from not being with their arents an% the arents suffer by missing out on one of the rimary 'oys of life4 sharing being with their chil%ren. 8$eryone suffers because the ara%igm they are li$ing in %oesn't work. Hey: &e %on't ha$e to ut u with this cra : &hatayasay we sto utting u with this cra 6 &e are going to ha$e to start o$er again on a new economy right away. &e ha$e to locally come u with a transition economy of new ara%igm eo le on the local le$el7something like communal $isa car%s an% communal bank accounts or communal money. .ocal grou s of eo le go$erning themsel$es on the fringe an% %oing okay in caring for each others' nee%s7like the go$ernment of Denmark7can be largely their own economy an% more se arate from the worl% economy. 1ichael .inton ;of .an%sman ,ommunity -er$ices, .t%. #n ,ana%a< says that local currency systems will some%ay re lace international money for about forty ercent of the total accounte% economy. &e nee% to come u with a new, soonCtoCbecomeC%ysfunctional family of our own. The whole worl%7ma%e u of little local new %ysfunctional families7is going to ha$e to change its economy so we %on't ha$e to suffer in the ol% ways an% can come u with new ways to suffer instea%. &e may e$en learn how to %ecrease suffering by %ecreasing our attachment to whate$er mo%els we come u with. *ll of us want 'ust about the same thing. &e all want an ecologically stable, economically secure worl% for e$erybo%y an% an o ortunity for a goo% life for e$eryone in the worl%. .et's buil% a mo%el for it an% see what ha ens. .et's make this a ro'ect. .et's get clear about where we are an% then about where we want to be. First let's take a look at the worl% as it is. 1arianne &illiamson has showe% the worl% to us in clearly un%erstan%able terms4 0#f we coul%, at this time, shrink the earth's o ulation to a $illage of recisely 1KK eo le, with all e)isting human ratios remaining the same, it woul% look like this4 There woul% be AP *sians, F1 8uro eans, 14 from the &estern Hemis here ;+orth an% -outh<, an% J *fricans. PK woul% be nonwhiteH GK white. PK woul% be nonC,hristianH GK ,hristian. Fifty ercent of the entire worl% wealth woul% be in the han%s of only M eo le. *ll M woul% be citi?ens of the /nite% -tates. PK woul% be unable to rea%.
AK woul% suffer from malnutrition. JK woul% li$e in substan%ar% housing. !nly 1 woul% ha$e a college e%ucation.0 &e, the ri$ilege% classes in the wealthy art of the worl%, ha$e ha% the lu)ury of ignorance about the nonC ri$ilege% worl% out there, e$en though many of us ha$e com assion for those we know about but who are not among our grou . 2ust to %ri$e this %ifference between the ha$es an% the ha$eCnots home, of that 1KK eo le, as yet, not one woul% own a com uter. &e ha$e an o ortunity to act, base% on knowle%ge an% com assion, that many of our kin in oorer circumstances %o not ha$e. !ur li$es can be a contribution to our fellow human beings by sharing what we know an% what we ha$e. +ot only can we contribute, we can %o so in such a way that it allows others who want to contribute to their fellow human beings a chance to %o so. .et's %o it. First, let's go back to the conte)t of being7the conte)t of the self. #t is out of that conte)t of the self that the new ara%igm for how we li$e together can be create%.
*;+ A Su!!icient Fund#'ent# Identit%AThe Li"in) Bein) In The Bod% Fro' ,o'ent To ,o'ent
Ha iness an% free%om %e en% u on not losing touch with the sensate beingCinCtheCbo%yCinCcontactCwithCtheCworl%, e$en as we grow u an% %e$elo min%s. From chil%hoo% to a%ulthoo%, in schools an% familying in western culture, we are so reoccu ie% with the %e$elo ment an% erformance of our min%s that we not only se arate our min%s from our bo%ies, we i%entify with our min%s an% their accom lishments as who we are, to the e)clusion of our bo%ies. Because our bo%ies are the only source of our ali$eness, they are the only instruments we ha$e with which to e) erience being. Therefore, when we are i%entifie% with our min%s to the e)clusion of our bo%ies, we are essentially traine% to be out of touch with life. This sets us u for a curious %uality of li$ing an% it is the single most responsible cause for psychological illness and susceptibility to physical disease. !ut of our culturallyCbiase% i%entification of oursel$es as our min%s comes most lying, retense, criticalCmin%e%ness towar% oursel$es an% others, an% most of our stress. #ontinuous +ody #entering Practices By getting back in touch with our hysical e) eriences, an% assigning them rimary im ortance, we can reconnect with the source of our true assions, curiosity, an% willingness to try anything. 8$en clarity of thinking itself %e en%s on groun%ing in e) erience. !nce we ha$e broken free of our own min%s' control, we nee% ractices that kee us groun%e% in the resent moment. &e can %o this through yoga, me%itation, artici ation in s orts, e)ercise, conscious se), massage, altere% states of consciousness in%uce% by ractices an% by certain %rugs, an% by sharing these e) eriences with others. &e learn to stay groun%e% in the e) erience of beingCinCtheCbo%yCinCtheCworl%CinCtheCmoment by noticing, mo$ing, touching, laying, an% manifesting energy in all the other ways that are not rimarily thinking. This is im ortant. &hy is this im ortant6 &hat is the real $alue of being centere% in the e) erience of being in the bo%y in the here an% now6 The real $alue is that we
ha$e a lace to stan% from which to $iew our own min% an% our own cultural insanity7the being we are who noticesH the true self, not the self image. This being we are is the conte!t within which all the worl% occurs. The #n%ian hiloso her Brishnamurti wrote a book entitle%, You &re the World . # think he was trying to %o the same thing with that title that # am %oing with the title of this book7try to get all the im ortant information on the co$er. "ou are the conte)t in which the worl% occurs7the being you are inclu%es the whole worl%. The Se ! #$ Conte@t #f the being you are is the conte)t in which the whole worl% of e)istence an% of time occur, you yourself are the largest conte)t of all. #f you think of yourself as the conte)t within which e$erything occurs, your i%entity is as a witness. 8$en though this is a useful ers ecti$e, few of us seem to hol% it. 1ore often, we think of oursel$es as our case history or our $alues, rinci les, an% beliefs or sensations an% images, an% so on. "ou ha"e those things but they are not the essence of who you are. "ou are essentially, as your most com rehensi$e self, the conte)t in which the worl% occurs. "ou are the witness to the worl% that creates the worl% by being in it as a ercei$er. "ou are both the witness an% the worl% create% by witnessing. The ractices of Hatha "oga can be seen as a number of e)ercises for regroun%ing oursel$es in the e) erience of being in the bo%y for the sake of being resent to the worl%. Dresence to the worl% creates the worl%. &e are the conte)t within which the worl% occurs. There is also an a arently e$en larger conte)t than yourself, which is time. 1"en though you are the conte!t within which time occurs, time is also the conte!t in which you occur. #t's a ara%o). &e will take this line of thought u again, after we become more familiar with the i%ea of the big icture of time as e) laine% by 1ichael Dow% in the ne)t cha ter.
*<+ The Bi) Picture9The L#r)er Conte@t For A Hu'#n Acti"itie$

by 1ichael Dow% %tories $ithin %tories &ll professions, all work, all acti"ity in the human world finds its essential meaning in the conte!t of a people's cosmic story5. Brian -wimme 8ach of us is a story within stories. 1y %aughter's life story is art of both my story an% her mother's story. The story of our family is likewise art of other stories larger than our own4 the story of our town, our state, our nation, &estern ci$ili?ation, humanity, lanet 8arth, an% the story of the /ni$erse itself. 8ach of us is a story within stories within stories. There is a %ynamic relationshi between e$ery story, the larger stories it is art of, an% the smaller stories that are a art of it. .arger stories influence an% a%% meaning to the stories that are nestle% within them. For e)am le, if my wife an% # were to mo$e across the country, my %aughter's story woul% be affecte%. -imilarly, if my nation goes through a se$ere economic %e ression, e) eriences rolonge% %rought, or un%ergoes a
ma'or s iritual awakening, my community's story, my story, an% my %aughter's story will each be affecte%. The %estiny of e$ery story is affecte% by the larger stories of which it is a art. #m ortance or significance, of course, is relati$e. *n im ortant e$ent in one story will be an im ortant e$ent in all the stories that are nestle% within it, but may be relati$ely insignificant for the larger stories in which it itself is nestle%. For e)am le, if the ma'or em loyer in my town, a factory where # ha$e worke% for the ast twentyCfi$e years, closes ermanently, this woul% be a significant e$ent in the story of my community, as well as in my story, an% in my %aughter's story. But it woul% not be articularly significant within the story of &estern ci$ili?ation. -omething significant in the story of &estern ci$ili?ation, howe$er, like an economic an% ecological colla se, or a nuclear war, woul% also be significant for each of the smaller stories nestle% within the story of &estern ci$ili?ation, such as the story of my community, my story an% my %aughter's story. &hen we ask the (uestion, 0&hy60, we ask about the meaning or conte)t of something. &e can un%erstan% ersonal meaning by using the meta hor that # 'ust %escribe%H we are each a story within stories. The meaning of some thing or e$ent is a arent in its larger conte)t. * trage%y has meaning in terms of the bigger icture, or larger story. *n el%erly woman who %ies while sa$ing a young chil%'s life can be sai% to ha$e %ie% a tragic, yet meaningful, %eath. The (uestion, 0&hy %i% she ha$e to %ie60 may be answere% meaningfully by looking at the larger ers ecti$e. &hen we want to know the meaning of something we are asking, 0How %oes this fit into the bigger icture6 How %oes this make sense in terms of the larger story60. The larger the conte)t, generally the %ee er the meaning. #osmology- "he Largest #onte3t 01"ery transformation of humanity has rested upon deep stirrings of the intuition, whose rationali7ed e!pression amounts to a new "ision of the cosmos and the nature of the human5. C .ewis 1umfor% 5(cience without religion is lame. $eligion without science is blind5. C *lbert 8instein #n e$ery human society, the largest of all conte)ts is the story of how e$erything began, how things came to be as they are, an% where e$erything is going. This story, a eo le's cosmology, as the 0big icture,0 gi$es meaning to our e)istence in e$ery area of e) erience. #t hel s us un%erstan% the mysteries of life an% %eath. #t is the soil out of which all of our beliefs, customs, beha$ior, tra%itions an% institutions grow. * eo le's cosmology crystalli?es into a set of un(uestione% assum tions an% beliefs about life in that culture. .ike sunglasses with colore% lenses, our cosmology colors e$erything we see. #t %etermines the way we ercei$e things, what we ercei$e, what we can an% can't see as ossible, an% what we can't see at all. #ts rules an% boun%aries are generally trans arent. #t is our reality. *nthro ologist 1argaret 1ea% remarke% that e$ery culture she e$er
encountere% ha% an account of how things came to be in the beginning. 8$ery human society %e$elo e% a story or set of stories that re$eale% 0the truth0H as re$eale% by obser$ation an% intuition, of the origin an% nature of the worl%, why things are as they are, an% our role in the %estiny of things. -uch an account hel e% eo le in each culture %eci%e what was goo% an% ba%, what was to be a$oi%e%, an% what was to be ursue%. &ritten %own, it often became scri ture. * eo le's cosmology is their -acre% -tory. The cosmology of the Bible has ha% a great effect on the thinking an% institutions of the &est, an% on our un%erstan%ing of our relationshi to the rest of nature. !ur law, me%icine, religion, olitics, economics an% e%ucation ha$e each been sha e% e)tensi$ely by biblical cosmology. For centuries we imagine% that Go% was a -u reme .an%lor% who resi%e% off the lanet, se arate from an% su erior to nature. &e thought of oursel$es as se arate from an% su erior to nature also because we belie$e% we were create% in the image of Go%. +ature, in our $iew, was corru t, %ue to 0the fall0 of *%am an% 8$e. Thus, 0 rogress0 became e(uate% with e)ercising increasing control o$er nature for the benefit of humans. /ntil recently these beliefs were taken for grante% an% rarely %iscusse%. They were inherite% an% unconscious assum tions an% beliefs about reality. &hile these beliefs may be %irectly or in%irectly res onsible for much of the ecological %e$astation taking lace on the lanet to%ay, they ha$e also ma%e ossible enormous scientific an% technological breakthroughs. #ronically, some of these scientific breakthroughs are now the foun%ation of an ecoCs iritual awakening that may usher us into the only $iable future for humansH an age characteri?e% by a mutually enhancing relationshi between humanity an% the rest of the community of life. 5ecent %isco$eries in biology, geology, chemistry, hysics an% astronomy in%icate that the /ni$erse is nothing at all like the Great 1achine mechanistic science assume% it was for the ast three hun%re% years. * growing number of scientists now suggest that the /ni$erse is more like an e$ol$ing, maturing, organism C a li$ing system C which has been %e$elo ing for 1A billion years. #t has become increasingly com le) an% %i$ersifie%, beginning with hy%rogen, then forming gala)ies, stars an% lanets, an% e$ol$ing more com le) lifeCforms o$er time. The /ni$erse, in us, can now consciously reflect on itself, its meaning, what it is, an% how it %e$elo e%. 0The human erson is the sum total of 1A billion years of unbroken e$olution now thinking about itself0 Teilhar% %e ,har%in note% a half century ago. 5The -ni"erse shi"ers with wonder in the depths of the human5. < Brian -wimme 5+ea"en is my father and 1arth is my mother and e"en such a small creature as % finds an intimate place in their midst. That which e!tends throughout the -ni"erse, % regard as my body, and that which directs the -ni"erse, % regard as my nature. &ll people are my brothers and sisters and all things are my companions5. < ,hang Tsai
The astronomer or hobbyist looking through a telesco e is literally the /ni$erse looking at itself. The chil% entrance% by the immensity of the ocean is 8arth enra ture% by itself. The stu%ent learning biology is the lanet learning in consciousness, with awareness, how it functione% instincti$ely an% unconsciously for billions of years. The worshi er singing raises is the /ni$erse celebrating the won%er of the %i$ine 1ystery from whence it came, an% in which it e)ists. &e humans are a means by which the /ni$erse can ercei$e its beauty an% feel its %e ths with conscious awareness. &e are not se arate beings in the /ni$erse, who li$e on 8arth, we are a mo%e of being of the /ni$erse, an e) ression of 8arth. &e %i% not come into this worl%, we grew out from it, in the same way that an a le grows out from an a le tree. 8$ery cell of my bo%y is art of the larger li$ing system that is me. -imilarily, each of us, with all life, is art of a larger li$ing lanetary system. 8arth is our larger self, our larger bo%y. *s hysicist Brian -wimme is fon% of saying, 0The lanet 8arth, once molten rock, now sings o era0. 5Our planet and its creatures constitute a single self<regulating system that is in fact a great li"ing being, or organism5. C 8lisabet -ahtouris 5On the return trip home, ga7ing toward the stars and the planet from which % had come, % suddenly e!perienced the uni"erse as intelligent, lo"ing, harmonious5. < 8%gar D. 1itchell, astronaut 0%t is a peculiar fact that all the great astronomers of the ACth and ADth centuries were deeply con"inced that the whole uni"erse was a huge li"ing being. 1"en during the height of western culture, the reeks thought of the 'i"ing ,lanet organism as a fact of life5. C 8ugene Bolisco 52iewed from the moon, the most astonishing thing about the 1arth is that it is ali"e8*eneath the moist, gleaming membrane of bright blue sky, it has the self< contained look of a li"e creature full of information, mar"elously skilled in handling the sun5. C .ewis Thomas 8arth is not a lanet with life on itH rather it is a li$ing lanet. The hysical structure of the lanet7its core, mantle, an% mountain ranges7acts as the skeleton or frame of its e)istence. The soil that co$ers its grasslan%s an% forests is like a mammoth %igesti$e system. #n it all things are broken %own, absorbe%, an% recycle% into new growth. The oceans, waterways, an% rain function as a circulatory system that mo$es lifeCgi$ing 0bloo%0, urifying an% re$itali?ing the bo%y. The bacteria, algae, lants an% trees ro$i%e the lanet's lungs, constantly regenerating the entire atmos here. The animal king%om ro$i%es the functions of a ner$ous system, a finely tune% an% %i$ersifie% series of organisms sensiti?e% to en$ironmental change. 8ach s ecies is a uni(ue e) ression of lanetary consciousness,
with its own uni(ue gifts to the bo%y. Humanity allows the lanet to e)ercise selfCconscious awareness, or refle)i$e thought. That is, the human enables 8arth to reflect on itself an% on the %i$ine 1ystery out of which it has come an% in which it e)ists. &e are a means by which nature can a reciate its own beauty an% feel its own s len%orH or %estroy itself. This shift, from seeing oursel$es as se arate beings lace% on 8arth ;0the worl% was ma%e for us0< to seeing oursel$es as a selfCrefle)i$e e) ression of 8arth ;0we were ma%e for the worl%0<, is a ma'or shift in our un%erstan%ing of who an% what we are. #t is a shift at the %ee est ossible le$el4 our i%entity, or sense of self. 0The 1arth belongs not to us, we belong to the 1arth0 C Black 8lk
0%ndeed, this shift 9to seeing oursel"es a part of a li"ing planet which is our larger self: is essential to our sur"i"al because it can ser"e in lieu of morality. 4orali7ing is ineffecti"e. (ermons don't hinder us from pursuing our self<interest. Therefore, we need to be a little more enlightened about what our self<interest is. %t would not occur to me, for e!ample, to e!hort you to refrain from cutting off your leg. That wouldn't occur to me or to you because your leg is part of you. Well, so are the trees in the &ma7on *asin> they are our e!ternal lungs. We are 6ust beginning to wake up to that. We are gradually disco"ering that we are our world5. C 2oanna 1acy "he *reat %acred %tory of Life 51"erything begins with a story5. C 2ose h ,am bell
0The uni"erse is the primary re"elation of the di"ine, the primary scripture, the primary locus of di"ine<human communion5. < Thomas Berry 5Our most powerful story, e.ui"alent in its way to a uni"ersal myth, is e"olution5. C .ewis Thomas #t's tough to get a han%le on conce ts like millions an% billions of years. They are too large to conce tuali?e so they ten% to remain abstractions. To hel us see our story as a whole, from the 0big bang0 to the resent, imagine our 1A billion year history com resse% into one hun%re% years. *t this timescale, each %eca%e e(uals 1 billion, AKK million years. 8ach year e(uals 1AK million years. 8ach month is 1F million, AKK thousan% years. 8ach %ay is a ro)imately 4FA,KKK years. 8ach hour is 1J,KKK yearsH each minute, GKK yearsH an% each secon%, A years. #f we ut the fireball, or 0big bang,0 at one secon% after mi%night on 2anuary 1st, "ear 1, with to%ay being one secon% before mi%night on December G1st of the >>th year, then the first atomic elements, hy%rogen an% helium, forme% two %ays after the beginning of the /ni$erse. The gala)ies forme% by the hun%re% billions when the /ni$erse was about P or J years ol%. The 1ilky &ay gala)y, of which we are a art, is a s iral gala)y. #t is 1KK,KKK lightCyears si%eCtoCsi%e an% 1M,KKK lightCyears thick at the central bulge. ;* light year is how long it takes light, which
tra$els at 1F million miles er minute, to tra$el in one year.< The 1ilky &ay s irals an% makes one com lete rotation e$ery FKK million years. *s it turns, stars are born from clou%s of gas an% elements forme% by re$ious stars. -tars li$e anywhere from a (uarter of a billion years to ten billion years or more %e en%ing u on their si?e an% com osition, an% then they %ie. !ur solar system forme% from the elemental star%ust of a re$iously e) lo%e% su erno$a when the /ni$erse was PK. The thir% lanet out from the -un, 8arth, was at the right %istance to allow li(ui% water to e)ist, an% ha% the right amount of gra$ity to allow atoms to form communities of molecules. *s 8arth coole%, it forme% a crust aroun% its molten core, like a film on cooling u%%ing. The $a or from its boiling interior rose u war%, coole%, an% forme% clou%s. &hen the surface tem erature %ro e% below the boiling oint of water, it raine% for aeons, an% forme% a lanetary womb, the oceans. The /ni$erse was PF. The lanet came ali$e in the seas, in the s ring of PG, with bacteria. Bacteria are the most im ortant e) ression of lanetary life. *ll other forms of life are totally %e en%ent u on them. Bacteria woul% %o 'ust fine without usH we woul% not last a %ay without them. Dlanet 8arth learne% to consume the -un, by way of hotosynthesis, by the /ni$erse's P4th birth%ay. Things went smoothly until the great ollution crisis of JJ, when o)ygen, a gas %ea%ly to anaerobic bacteria, oisone% the atmos here an% threatene% the continue% e)istence of life. This first en$ironmental crisis was sol$e% by way of a rocess of coo eration an% mutual benefit, or symbiosis. The first lants achie$e% multicellularity in 1arch of >1. *s cells gathere% together an% committe% themsel$es to one another, they foun%, in community, that their own sur$i$al an% %e$elo ment was enhance%. The inno$ation of se)ual re ro%uction two years later, in 1arch of >G, ma%e ossible an enormous lea in lanetary creati$ity. &ith se)uality, howe$er, %eath also came into e)istence. For the early bacterium, %eath was not an ine$itability. -ome of the earliest bacteria may still be with us to%ay. For life forms that are se)ual, howe$er, %eath is an integral art of their e)istence. -e)uality an% %eath are intertwine%. Death eliminates biological forms an% cleans the slate for new genetic forms. #n -e tember of >4, some creatures began consuming other creatures instea% of fee%ing %irectly off the -un. This ractice ma%e it ossible to ha$e an ecosystem, a biological community. The %e$elo ment of the ner$ous system an% brain, in worms, ha ene% in 2uly of >A. Backbones a eare% a year later. .i$ing beings came ashore, for the first time, in February, >P. The lants were first, followe% soon by the insects. The first am hibians emerge% four months later. 5e tiles an% coniferous trees both came into e)istence in December of >P. The %inosaurs a eare% in 1ay of >J. They became e)tinct a year later when lanet 8arth was hit by a comet off the coast of what is to%ay 1e)ico. 1ammals began to nurse their young in *ugust of >J. The first bir%s %i$erge% from the %inosaurs
four months later, a year ago, on the last %ay of December in the /ni$erse's >Jth year. During the first week of * ril, >>, eight months ago, the lanet e) lo%e% with color %ue to the ecstatic celebration of flowering lants. !ur ancestors, the rimates, began monkeying aroun% only a few months ago. The earliest a eIhumans, walking u right, a eare% less than two weeks ago, on December FKth. The first s ecies to get classifie% as fully human, Homo habilis, a eare% in *frica on December FMth. Human beings %omesticate% fire %uring the early morning hours of December F>th. !ur s ecies, Homo sa iens, is a $ery recent e) ression of the 1ilky &ay gala)y3emerging from the life of the lanet only twentyCfour hours ago, at the beginning of the GMAth %ay of the /ni$erse's >>th year of e)istence. #t is im ortant to note here that at no oint in time %uring the ast four an% a half billion years, the age of our solar system, %i% anyone come from the outsi%e an% ut anything on the lanet. 0Go%0 is the inner .o$e, or incom rehensible .ife, at the heart of the rocessH the Great 1ystery re$eale% in an% through the /ni$erse. &hen Genesis F4P s eaks anthro omor hically of Go% forming us from the %ust of the groun% an% breathing into us the breath of life, this is a oetic or mythological way of %escribing the e$olutionary rocess # am outlining here. The rocess of e$olution continues. The story is far from o$er. Dolar bears originate% only three hours ago. &hat is im ortant to remember is that this is the /ni$erse story, 0The Great -acre% -tory of .ife.0 Humans are an e) ression of .ife, but are by no means its crowning achie$ement. #n%ee%, from the lanet's ers ecti$e, as e$i%ence% by our in%ustrial lun%ering of the air, water an% soil, an% our wholesale slaughter of millions of other s ecies, refle)i$e consciousness may be more of a lanetary liability than an asset. !nly time will tell. #t may be true that humanity has gifts an% abilities that other s ecies lack. But it is e(ually true that other s ecies ha$e gifts an% abilities that we lack. #t is a goo% s iritual ractice to remin% oursel$es that we are totally %e en%ent u on bacteria for our $ery li$es an% sustenance. *lso, the fact that %ol hins an% many whales ha$e a larger neoCcorte) brain than our own suggests that they may be more intelligent than we can ossibly know. #n any e$ent, humility is certainly referable to ignorant arrogance. How will those li$ing ten thousan% years in the future, a half hour from now on our timescale, tell the story of our times6 &ill there e$en be a human e) ression of 8arth in ten thousan% years6 The answer %e en%s in large art on how humans %eal with each other an% the natural worl% o$er the ne)t fifty years or so. *ssuming that we %o not suffer the same fate as the %inosaurs ;i.e., something colli%ing with the lanet<, if we sur$i$e it will be because we ma%e large an% creati$e stri%es in coo eration, community an% lo$e. 5& human being is part of the whole, called by us 'uni"erse', a part limited in time and space. +e e!periences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something
separated from the rest < a kind of delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free oursel"es from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all li"ing creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty5. C *lbert 8instein 5The new cosmic story emerging into human awareness o"erwhelms all pre"ious conceptions of the uni"erse for the simple reason that it draws them all into its comprehensi"e fullness8 Who can learn what this means and remain calm=5 C Brian -wimme Deep 2cology 0From the point of "iew of deep ecology, what is wrong with our culture is that it offers us an inaccurate description of the self. %t depicts the personal self in competition with and in opposition to nature8 *ut if we destroy our en"ironment, we are destroying what is in fact our larger self5. CFreya 1atthews Dee 8cology is a worl%$iew an% associate% way of life groun%e% in the new cosmology. #t branches out of the awareness that the en$ironment is not 0out there0 se arate from us, but that we are art of $ast cosmological, geological an% biological cycles which are concentric an% interrelate%. 1y own bo%y, for e)am le, is constantly e)changing matter, energy, an% information with the 0en$ironment.0 The atoms an% molecules of my bo%y now, what # collecti$ely call 0me,0 are not the same ones that ma%e u my bo%y a year ago. 8$ery fi$e %ays # get a new stomach lining. # get a new li$er e$ery two months. 1y skin is re lace% e$ery si) weeks. 8$ery year, >JS of my bo%y is re lace%. The molecules that are continually becoming 0me0 come from the air # breathe an% the foo% # eat. Before that they were art of fish an% snakes, li?ar%s an% trees, bir%s an% humans, an% all that we eat. # gi$e out as # get. #t makes little sense, then, to o$erly i%entify with my 0ego0 self, for that is only a $ery small art of 0me.0 1y larger bo%y is the bo%y of .ife itself. 8arth is my larger self. This is the essence of Dee 8cology. 0%f the $hine, the Yellow, the 4ississippi ri"ers are changed to poison, so too are the ri"ers in the trees, in the birds, and in the humans changed to poison, almost simultaneously. There is only one ri"er on the planet 1arth and it has multiple tributaries, many of which flow through the "eins of sentient creatures5. C Thomas Berry 0& li"ing body is not a fi!ed thing but a flowing e"ent, like a flame or a whirlpool) the shape alone is stable. The substance is a stream of energy going in at one end and out at the other. We are temporarily identifiable wiggles in a stream that enters us in the form of light, heat, air, water, milk... %t goes out as gas and e!crementEand also as semen, babies, talk, politics, war, poetry and music5. C *lan &atts Through the lenses of %ee ecology we can begin to see clearly the
nature an% serious magnitu%e of our global ecological crisis. ,onsi%er the following arable. !nce u on a time, a grou of brain cells %ebate% the relati$e im ortance of the rest of the bo%y. -ome suggeste% that the bo%y was %is ensable. 0*fter all,0 sai% one, 0we are the only cells in the bo%y that know that we know things.0 0!nly we can reflect on our %reams,0 sai% another, 0so we must be the only art of the bo%y that is s iritual, right60. 0&hy 'ust think of the awesome accom lishments we are ca able of:0 *n% they all thought... thinking that they were se arate from an% su erior to the rest of bo%y. !ccasionally a brain cell woul% reali?e that it was one with the entire bo%yH but it was usually martyre% trying to tell the others about this goo% news. "ou see, the brain cells ha% con$ince% themsel$es that the Great .ife li$e% outsi%e the bo%y an% coul% be known only through their %reams. They belie$e% that they were %estine% to lea$e the bo%y an% %well in a lace calle% hea$en. They also assume% that the rest of the bo%y was not really ali$e at all, that it was an ine)haustible su ly of 0resources0 for the benefit of the brain. +ee%less to say, the health of the bo%y worsene% by the %ay an% was soon on the $erge of %ying. 5& cancer cell is a normal cell disconnected from its genetic memory, cut off from the wisdom of millions of years of e"olutionary de"elopment. %t doesn't cooperate in harmony with the rest of the body. %t e!periences itself as separate from the body, o"erpopulates, and consumes the organism which supports it. #ancer e"entually kills itself by consuming its own en"ironment5. C Brian Datrick The message of %ee ecology is timely news for humanity, an% for the lanet as a whole. #t offers reconnection to our genetic memory an% billions of years of e$olutionary wis%om. #ts a lication can em ower us to li$e in synergistic coo eration an% harmony with the rest of the bo%y of .ife. &e can begin to e) erience a harmonious connection alien to us when we thought of oursel$es as se arate from an% su erior to our larger bo%y. &e can begin to e) erience a consciousness of hea$enly ra ort with all of life. Timely as it may be, the message of %ee ecology must be taught an% integrate% into our society on a massi$e scale if our gran%chil%ren an% theirs are to be sa$e% from a to)ic an% literal hell on 8arth. #t must be ut into fer$ent %aily ractice in e$ery area of our li$es. The lanet is calling us to create communities that li$e an% lo$e ecologically. This is essential for the sal$ation of millions of s ecies, es ecially our own. 0To be a philosopher is not merely to ha"e subtle thoughts, nor e"en to found a school, but to so lo"e wisdom as to li"e according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, magnanimity and trust. %t is to sol"e some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically5. C Henry Da$i% Thoreau 5The main task of the immediate future is to assist in acti"ating the inter< communion of all li"ing and non<li"ing beings in the emerging 1co7oic era of
1arth de"elopment. What is most needed in order to accomplish this task is the great art of intimacy and distance) the capacity of beings to be totally present to each other while further affirming and enhancing the differences and identities of each0. C Thomas Berry, Human Destiny 0Our present situation, % think, can be summari7ed by the following three sentences) A. The glory of the human has become the desolation of the 1arth. F. The desolation of the 1arth is becoming the destiny of the human. G. Therefore, all human acti"ities, professions, programs and institutions must henceforth be 6udged primarily by the e!tent to which they inhibit, ignore or foster a mutually enhancing humanH1arth relationship5. < Thomas Berry 5& thing is right when it tends to preser"e the di"ersity, stability, and beauty of the life community. %t is wrong when it tends to do otherwise0. C *l%o .eo ol% #n this last %ay that the /ni$erse has reflecte% on itself in an% through Homo -a iens, for nearly FG an% a half of the ast F4 hours we were in the tribalCshamanic erio% of 8arth's cultural %e$elo mentH as hunterC gatherers. This is also known as the aleolithic era or -tone *ge. From 114FK .m. to 1144K .m., we went through the neolithic $illage era. &riting %e$elo e% at the en% of this erio% an%, with it, the beginnings of 0recor%e% history.0 The ne)t nineteen minutes, to 114A> .m., is the erio% of the classical ci$ili?ations, or the age of the classical religious cultures. For the last MK secon%s we ha$e been in the scientificCtechnologicalC in%ustrial erio%. During this last minute we ha$e to)ifie% the air, water an% soil u on which all life %e en%s to such a %egree that we are now face% with the ossibility of a colla se of the lanetary lifeCsu ort systems, or ecoci%e. The human is an e) ression of 8arth. &e are totally %e en%ent u on the health of the community of .ife for our own health. !ur own healing an% %estiny, as in%i$i%uals or as a s ecies, %e en% entirely u on our relationshi to the lan%, air, water an% life of 8arth. &hat we %o to the lanet, we %o to our self. #t is, of course, ossible that the %estiny of .ife may not inclu%e a human e) ression much longer. This will certainly be so if the %estiny of the human becomes the %esolation of the 8arth. But whether or not our s ecies sur$i$es, 8arth will continue to e$ol$e, e$entually healing the %amage %one by us. The 1ilky &ay gala)y will continue to s iral, with countless new solar systems being born, li$ing an% %ying. *n% the /ni$erse will continue to e) an% an% grow more com le) for billions of years after our solar system is but a %istant cosmic memory. &e are art of an awesome an% %i$ine /ni$erse. &e are also only a $ery small art of it. &e must kee this ers ecti$e in min% when %iscussing 0human %estiny.0 Humility may be the single most im ortant attitu%e of the heart we will nee% if we are to continue into the future. Humility an% sur$i$al go
han% in han%. Dri%e goes before a fall. &e are now at what may be the most significant turning oint in the -acre% -tory of .ife since the 1JACmillionCyear 1eso?oic era, the age of the %inosaurs, came crashing to a close some MA million years ago. That was when the %inosaurs all %ie% out. The last MA million years ha$e been calle% the ,eno?oic era, the age of the mammals an% the flowering lants. *s a %irect result of human acti$ity o$er the ast FKK years, we are now bringing to an en% this MACmillionCyear age: #t is im ortant to see things from this larger ers ecti$e. To%ay, s ecies are being eliminate% at a rate faster than erha s any other time in history. Biologist +orman 1yers, a s ecialist in the rain forests an% $egetation of the worl%, says that we are bringing about an 0e)tinction s asm0 that is likely to ro%uce 0the greatest setback to life's abun%ance an% %i$ersity since the first flickerings of life almost four billion years ago0. Thanks to our a%%icti$e in%ustrial culture, we are altering the geological structure, the chemistry, an% the biological systems of the lanet on a scale that woul% normally ha$e taken millions of years. "et we are accom lishing this feat in a few short %eca%es. *s the ,eno?oic era colla ses aroun% us, the logical (uestion becomes, 0&hat's ne)t60 Geologian Thomas Berry suggests two ossibilities. The first ossibility he calls the Techno?oic era. #n the Techno?oic, humanity woul% continue to un%erstan% 0 rogress0 in terms of increasing mechanistic control o$er the forces of nature for its own su erficial, shortC term benefit. Through continue% scientific inno$ation an% technological cunning, we coul% create %elimite% artificial en$ironments to 0 rotect0 us in isolation from our %es oile% an% %ying worl%. The Techno?oic woul% be an isolate% hell of e)istence. Humanity woul% become e$er more alienate% from the rest of .ife. #n the long run, of course, it coul% not e$en ho e to last. &ithout s irit, matter %ecays. The Techno?oic coul% ne$er be sustainable. *nother ossibility, erha s the only $iable o tion for humans, is what Berry calls the 8co?oic era. The rimary as ect of the 8co?oic woul% be the %ee somatic awareness of the natural worl% as our larger bo%y, as our larger self. *ll s ecies woul% be grante% their habitat, their free%om, an% their range of life e) ression. The 8co?oic woul% further be characteri?e% by our harmonious alignment with, rather than %omination o$er, the biological rocesses of the lanet. This woul% re(uire aban%oning many of our %estructi$e mechanistic technologies. The natural worl% itself woul% be taken as the rimary referent for all that we %o, an% the rimary mo%el for all our technologies. #n the 8co?oic, all of our acti$ities, rofessions, rograms, an% institutions will be 'u%ge% rimarily by the e)tent to which they inhibit, ignore or foster a mutually enhancing humanI8arth relationshi . This is the way of human %estiny: &hen we see things from a larger ers ecti$e, it becomes clear that
something more is nee%e% to 0sa$e the 8arth0 than recycling our a er an% glass, not using styrofoam, an% %ri$ing our cars less. - ecifically, two things are absolutely necessary if the human e) ression of 8arth is to continue into the future. *s a s ecies, we must make a rofoun% shift in consciousness in the %irection of %ee ecology if we are to sur$i$e. &e must grow from seeing oursel$es as %iscrete, se arate beings that walk aroun% on 8arth, to feeling an% knowing oursel$es as an e) ression of 8arth. !ur thinking an% beha$ior must align with, an% flow out of, the reality of our situation4 the lanet is our larger bo%y, our larger self. &e are %e en%ent u on the community of life, air, water an% soil in e$ery concei$able way. /nless we make this shift in consciousness, we will continue to be a 0cancer,0 a arasite, consuming its own host en$ironment. &e will sur$i$e only with the s iritual gui%ance an% awareness of the bo%y of .ife as a whole with its billions of years of e$olutionary wis%om. The secon% thing necessary for the human e) ression of 8arth to sur$i$e is for human beings to li$e in ecologically sustainable communities. &e must li$e our li$es in %ee communion with each other an% with our bioregion4 sharing ossessions an% %welling s ace, growing foo% together in a way that enhances our li$es an% the soilH laughing, working, laying an% celebrating togetherH an%, in short, li$ing in lo$e with each other an% with all of .ife. &e must create ecological communities where we can be most truly oursel$es, where we can e) erience lo$ing hysical touch, where we can share our finitu%e an% brokenness an% feel lo$e% uncon%itionally, an% where we are both su orte% an% challenge% to be all that we can be, es ecially for future generations. +one of us aske% to be ali$e at this moment in 8arth's history. &e %i% not choose to be born at this 'uncture in the -tory. &e were chosen. 8ach of us has been chosen by .ife to be ali$e an% to artici ate in the most significant geological an% biological transformation in MA million years. This is a fact: ,an you feel the sense of ersonal %estiny, or a sense of mission or ur ose, that such an awareness awakens within you6 ;#f you want to, take a few moments an% allow yourself to feel your connecte%ness to the larger bo%y of .ife, an% your lace in the -acre% -tory of .ife.< Thomas Berry calls this awareness 0the grace of the resent moment.0 The %egree that we li$e the $alues of the 8co?oic era now will be the %egree to which we artici ate in its inauguration. .o$e an% Truth must be our gui%ing realities. *s we lo$e .ife with all our heart, min%, soul an% strength, we will (uite naturally lo$e our human an% nonC human neighbor, an% our lanet, as our self. That is the true state of affairs. .i$ing the $alues of the 8co?oic re(uires being lo$ingly truthful an% gently honest with oursel$es an% with each other. #t means being real an% o en with the .ife that is our -ource, Bo%y, an% Destiny. &e are all stories within stories within stories, as we %iscusse% at the start. The Great -acre% -tory of .ife is the biggest story. This story, the /ni$erse
story, ro$i%es the conte)t for, a%%s meaning to, an% affects the %estiny of e$ery other story in e)istence. That is why e$erything in human affairs must now be seen in light of this 0big icture0 in or%er to ha$e any lasting meaning for resent an% future generations. 0For peoples, generally, their story of the uni"erse and the human role within the uni"erse is their primary source of intelligibility and "alue. Only through this story of how the uni"erse came to be in the beginning and how it came to be as it is does a person come to appreciate the meaning of life or to deri"e the psychic energy needed to deal effecti"ely with those crisis moments that occur in the life of the indi"idual and in the life of the society. (uch a story8 communicates the most sacred of mysteries8 and not only interprets the past, it also guides and inspires our shaping of the future.5 < Thomas Berry
0=+ Inti'#c% #nd Co''unit%
&e are the conte)t for a story within a story4 That is my true i%entity. That is your true i%entity. &e are also each conte)ts within which time occurs. Time is a conte)t in which all that is, occurs, inclu%ing us. That conte)t is ma%e ossible by the -elf, which is the conte)t within which that conte)t calle% time resi%es. The bo%y that houses the conte)t for time to occur resi%es in the conte)t of time. .et's take those two conte)ts that conte)tuali?e each other seriously. .isten u now. The greatest ossible conte)t arising from the integration of the wis%om of 8ast an% &est in the twentieth century is this4 Beings who relate as beings0 one to another, can work out the roblems that come from ha$ing min%s an% ersonalities. &e can change how we li$e together by acknowle%ging the being we are as the conte)t in which the min% occurs. Time is a mental construct within the conte)t of being. 1embershi in an onCgoing bon%e% community of su ort7what we occasionally fin% in families7seems to be the best fun%amental source for creating the worl%, by using our min%s, from within the rimary conte)t of the self ;the witness to, an% therefore creator of, the worl%<. The rocess of owning oneself as a conte)t within which the worl% occurs is calle% transformation. The transformation is from $ictim to creator. "ou are the creator of the worl%. &e can create intimate families among eo le who are not bloo% relati$es through ra%ical honesty7which is essentially sharing real %ata rather than hony %ata, so we can get on with the task of reCcreating the worl%. ;&e %o this for recreation.< !ur work is to li"e the good life that comes from being centered in the body and consciously creating with a bunch of friends who lo"e each other and continue to tell each other the truth, to continually o"erthrow the structures of the mind and bring about a world that works for e"eryone. A Momentary #ross %ection of Honest #ommunity- +art and Maryann7s $edding # atten%e% the we%%ing of Bart an% 1aryann a few months ago. They are
goo% frien%s of mine an% *my's an% are former ra%ical honesty trainers. They ha$e (uit as trainers so he can go to me%ical school an% she can ha$e a baby. *my, my wife, from whom # am currently se arate%, was there at the we%%ing an% so were our two ki%s, ,arsie, who is now fourteen, an% 8li'ah, who is si). # lo$e my ki%s with all my heart. # also lo$e *my. # also lo$e Bart an% 1aryann an% a whole bunch of the eo le who were at the we%%ing, an% many of them lo$e each other. There were at least fifty eo le there who ha$e %one numerous ra%ical honesty worksho s in recent years. &e're all frien%s from ha$ing re$eale% oursel$es honestly to each other. &e ha$e been ma% at each other an% gotten o$er it. &e ha$e hurt each others' feelings an% gotten o$er it. &e ha$e em athy an% a%miration an% sym athy for each other se arately an% collecti$ely. This is what it is like in the worl% of the truth cult. This is what it is like in the new community of humankin% that is aborning4 !$erwhelming laughter an% hurt, ain, e)hilarating, unbearable, un rotecte%, unsafe, feeling, flow, orgasms of fullness. # crie% a lot at the we%%ing. # crie% when # recite% the oem by 8. 8. ,ummings # am about to write out for you here. The unbearable lightness of being contraste% with the unlikeable bareness of being. 1y fearful min% resiste% letting it all in, being afrai% of %eath. # crie% with ri%e an% lo$e an% a%miration an% gratefulness when *my sang the song she wrote for Bart an% 1aryann which so intimately an% elo(uently %escribe% their searches on the roa% to fin%ing each other. # crie% when ,arsie sang so beautifully the song which +ancy Griffith, a erson also in lo$e with the truth, wrote. # crie% %uring the we%%ing an% %uring the arty after the we%%ing. # crie% when # hear% the won%erful wor%s Bart an% 1aryann wrote an% the reacher rea%. # crie% when they sai% their $ows, some of which were taken from #on"ersations with od %%%. # crie% $isiting in on small grou s of eo le seate% on the grass out on the lawn on that beautiful afternoon. # crie% talking to an% hugging in%i$i%uals one at a time. # crie% at the reali?ation of the glory of the we%%ing an% the funeral all we%%ings are for the celebration of the assing of each moment of life. # was o$er'oye%. # was %ee ly sa%. # was so rou% of e$eryone. # was so close to %eath. # was full of lo$e an% %ee ly lonely. # was among the $ery best of frien%s an% # was as alone as we all are at the $ery moment of %eath. # was full to the brim with lo$e an% wis%om an% # ha% nothing to say because # was a blubbering fool. # was barely able to recite the oem so the we%%ing coul% go on, an% e$eryone ha% to wait for me to cry an% get a line sai% an% cry some more an% say some more. 0# thank thee Go% for most this ama?ing %ay90 The sun shone %own through tall green trees on the green lawn full of eo le whom # know an% lo$e as well as eo le can ossibly know an% lo$e each other. # looke% at Bart an% 1aryann an% they were as beautiful as the scene they were in, an% as the moment we ha% all create% together. *n% # crie%. # trie% to go on then, but my $oice (ua$ere% an% then # sobbe%. 1y sobs subsi%e%. 0For the lea ing greenly s irits of trees an% a blue, true %ream of sky90 # crie% again. They were there. That sky an% those trees. They were right there. 0an% for e$erything which is natural, which is infinite, which is "es.0
# crie% some more. * whole bunch of us were crying. Go% was crying. Being was barely bearable. 0# who ha$e %ie% am ali$e again to%ay. For this is the sun's birth%ay.0 1ore crying. 0This is the birth%ay of life an% of lo$e an% wings an% of that gay great ha ening illimitably earth.0 1y $oice went u to a high s(ueak at the en% of the line7trying to get it out before the tears took o$er. 8arth was there in all its lushness. .ife an% lo$e an% wings were there. &e crie%. 0How can tasting, touching, seeing, hearing, being any lifte% from the no of all nothing CCChuman merely beingCCC Doubt unimaginable "ou60 &hole bunch of crying. 0+ow the ears of my ears are o ene%. +ow the eyes of my eyes awake.0 # got to sit %own. # crie%. The we%%ing went on. The reacher rea% Bart's an% 1aryann's wor%s. # crie%. Taber sang his song. # crie%. *nother frien% of theirs rea% another oem. # crie%. The reacher resente% them to us as marrie% to each other. # crie%. #t was o$er. &e all stoo% u an% cla e%. # crie%. ,hristiane came an% hugge% me an% # sobbe% my heart out. -he crie%. &e crie%. # almost %ie%. # crie% for e$ery 'oy an% e$ery grief my life ha% e$er gi$en me. &e crie% for e$ery gain an% e$ery loss an% e$ery lossgain of e$ery blesse% moment we ha% all e$er ha%. # crie% to em ty the fullness an% to fill the em tiness. &e crie% for ity an% for gratitu%e an% ri%e in each other. &e crie% for 'oy an% for all of suffering humanity, for all attachment, for all things lost an% ri e% a art. &e crie% for lo$e an% for the nourishment of being together an% for the resent assingness an% ineffability of that itself. Does e$er 'oy come without sa%ness6 # think not. #'m crying now. # e) ect to cry again. # %on't imagine it will e$er sto , but it often %oes, an% then starts again when the contact of my being with the being of another erson o ens the floo%gates again. Then when the memory of that contact recurs # cry. # cry for the won%er an% for the loss an% for the little taste of %eath that s ices life in the high contact ?one. The little moments, my frien% an% lo$er ,arol &illiams says, are what we will remember at the en%, not the big e$ents. But it's the big e$ents, full of little moments, that %amn near kill you. # am lo$e% an% # lo$e a lot an% # can't har%ly stan% it. # am o$erwhelme% with tears (uite fre(uently. # can har%ly bear it. # ha$e se$eral women who are my lo$ers these %ays who lo$e me with all their hearts. # can har%ly bear it. # can barely har% it. # can barely bear it. &hen # barely be # can har%ly bear it. # am walking %own a ath through an archway. The sign on the left si%e of the ath says, 01ake a 'oyful noise unto the .or%.0 The sign on the right si%e says, 0*ban%on all ho e, ye who enter here.0 This athway lea%s into nowhere. !bli$ion seems a ealing. 5.D. .aing once sai%, 0There are some suici%es that can only be e) laine% as the result of an intolerance for 'oy.0 2ohn Drine in one of his folk songs says, 0To belie$e in this li$in' is 'ust a har% way to go.0 Go% bless him, he is %ying now. He has been a great oet an% one of the great
songwriters of all time. He's got little ki%s now an% cancer. He remin%s me of this ongoing life%eath of being out here7 laying with the other ki%s at the funeral. .ife, li$e% into an% out lou%, is itself a big e$ent full of little e$ents. .ife is what kills you. Deo le always want to know, 0&hat %i% he %ie of60 &hat # want on my tombstone is, 0Here lie the remains of Bra% Blanton. .ife 'ust kille% him.0 -ome%ay soon we will each be all use% u . The worms will get us. Then the worms themsel$es will %ie an% the uni$erse will reclaim our basic elements an% we will be long gone. This is how # want to be use% u . This is the legacy # want to lea$e behin%. This is the life # recommen%. # want to ha$e %ie% all along the way. *n% when we get to the en%, it's 'ust another %ay. This is the goo% life. #t is still har% at times but har% in a won%erful way. !ur task as humans in the great con$ersation now about what it is to be a human being, is to buil% u our tolerance for 'oy7the 'oy that comes from sharing the truth of our e)istence with each other. /nless we %o this, in our whole human family our time on earth is o$er. !ur in%i$i%ual time will be o$er soon enough, anyway. #onsciousness of %elf and of #onte3t > Revolution Deo le sim ly cannot go through all the work of learning to transcen% their own min%s an% learn to lo$e each other, an% still ut u with institutions that o ress them an% their lo$e% ones merely to make more money. Therefore, it is likely that the worl% will be significantly change% (uite soon. 5a%ically honest communities hel in%i$i%uals to change not by trying to change, but by transcen%ing their own min%s. &hen enough eo le transcen% their own min%s, the culture in which these eo le li$e has to shift. *s -wami Beyon%anan%a says, 0-hift ha ens:0 ,ultures are %ysfunctional families ma%e u of habitual min%Csets with a lot of emotional attachment. #n an honest community of su ort, the s ee% with which anti(uate% min%Csets can be shucke% is increase%. Gi$ing u tra%itional $alues becomes less ainful with a little ractice. 1any of us share a $ision of a worl% reorgani?e% base% on rinci les of intimacy, sharing an% honoring the being of human beings within the conte)t of all of being, rather than any tra%itions of the min% or of institutionali?e% min%s. &e are becoming a mo$ement. &e are creating the following %eclaration as a conte)t. &e %eclare that the ossibility e)ists because we say so, that at any gi$en moment, human beings can change frameworks to o erate from an% it won't kill them or cause the ermanent break%own of social or%er. Tem orary break%owns of social or%er are to be cherishe% greatly, for they allow corrections to occur. 2ust as the true self remains when the min% goes, the s irit of a union of frien%s remains when the organi?ation they belong to breaks %own. /ncertainty now an% then won't kill us. &e can li$e without certainty erio%ically. #n fact, we must %o 'ust that to thri$e as well as sur$i$e.
0(+ The United St#te$ o! Bein)1 A Ne- N#tion
5(o we pretend we don't care, or that someone else is going to fi! things. Which fits perfectly into their plans, whoe"er 'they' are. 1"ery once in a while we
get our hopes up again, but what we long for is one of the hardest things for most of today's politicians to gi"e us) an honest con"ersation. ?ust put the facts on the table, guys. /emocracy cannot sur"i"e in an en"ironment where the electorate is treated like children who are not .uite mature enough to be told the truth. 1specially when the ones withholding the truth are the ones going around acting like children.5 < 1arianne &illiamson For se$eral years now, # ha$e been talking to hun%re%s of eo le e$ery month in cities all o$er the /nite% -tates. # %o seminars at .earning *nne)es in cities, growth centers in the country an% worksho s organi?e% by my com any, 5a%ical Honesty 8nter rises, all o$er the lace. # %o book signings an% ublic talks an% ra%io an% tele$ision shows about my book, $adical +onesty) +ow to Transform Your 'ife by Telling the Truth an% my 5a%ical HonestyE worksho s. # also %o talks an% $isits to churches, cor orations, an% associations. # meet a lot of eo le # like an% who like me. 1any of us stay in touch. # tell eo le how it has been for me in my own life of creating an% they tell me how it has been for them. -omething ha ens to us as we talk. 1y frien%s an% cohorts an% # are changing the worl% by how we share an% be an% create together. # belie$e we can create together more consciously now for the benefit of the whole worl% an% that we all ha$e lots of frien%s out there who want to create with us. For some of us, e$erything in our li$es now, e$erything that we work an% lay with from %aybreak to be%time, was once only an i%ea that we, as in%i$i%uals, took u on oursel$es to create. Then we all hel e% each other with our ro'ects. &hat hel e% a lot was honest con$ersations along the way. *s we ha$e grown, our community has grown an% the reCin$ention of the meaning of the wor% 0 olitical0 is ha ening right before our ears. &e must now face s(uarely the olitical im lications of our knowle%ge. An Alliance of #reators- +uilding a Parallel %ystem of *overnment .et me name a few of my frien%s an% tell, $ery briefly, about what they are %oing with some of their s ecial ro'ects. 5onnie Dugger an% # ha$e known each other since 1>A>. *t that time, he was the e%itor of The Te!as Obser"er, the only honest news a er in Te)as. 5onnie Dugger's Te!as Obser"er an% #.F. -tone's Weekly were the only consistently whistleCblowing ara%igmCkicking belie$able me%ia in e)istence as far as # was concerne%. 5onnie has been at Har$ar% at the Benne%y -chool for the ast se$eral years. #n 1>>A, he wrote an article in The Nation entitle%, Will the $eal ,opulists ,lease (tand -p an% so many eo le res on%e%, it became a mo$ement calle% The &lliance for /emocracy. # am rou% to be a member of that grou . The mission of the alliance is to bring about an en% to cor orate rule of the worl%. !ur thir% annual con$ention met in Boul%er in 1ay of 1>>>, where # tol% them of my i%ea to start a new country in cybers ace an% in the imaginations of human beings e$erywhere. #n a few moments # will tell you more about that i%ea. 1arianne &illiamson s eaks for herself. # %o not know her ersonally but # consi%er her my frien%. Her won%erful book The +ealing of &merica kee s me awake at nights an% has ins ire% me for months. -he wrote also $eturn to 'o"e
an% was greatly res onsible for the o ulari?ation of The #ourse in 4iracles. "ou can tell (uite clearly what she is about by rea%ing The +ealing of &merica. ;5ea% articularly ages GK4CGKM, subtitle% 0&hat -houl% # Do60, because those wor%s ha$e ins ire% a lot of what you are rea%ing now.< -ince that book came out, she become the minister of a large /nity ,hurch in 1ichigan. 1y frien%s Denise Breton an% ,hristo her .argent ;authors of The ,aradigm #onspiracy) +ow Our (ystems of o"ernment, #hurch, (chool, I #ulture 2iolate Our +uman ,otential: ha$e gone there an% $isite% with her an% the con$ersations those eo le ha$e starte% are at this $ery moment changing the worl%'s consciousness. 1ike Fou%y, reco$ering lawyer, author, an% ra%io talk show host is a frien% of mine an% he intro%uce% me to 1ike Gra$el, the former -enator from *laska when # intro%uce% both of them to 5onnie Dugger. 1ike an% 1ike ha$e been calling for a new ,onstitutional ,on$ention in Dhila%el hia, to reorgani?e the way we are go$erning oursel$es. 1ike Gra$el says that the e$olution of go$ernment in recent centuries has gone like this4 the Di$ine 5ight of Bings where the -o$ereign ha% total ower e$entually e$ol$e% to re resentati$e go$ernments where electe% re resentati$es are so$ereign. 1ike says it is now time to make the in%i$i%ual citi?en so$ereign. # coul%n't agree more. &e coul% ha$e go$ernment create% by so$ereign in%i$i%uals $oting on referen%a $ia JKK numbers an% email. &e coul% still elect re resentati$es, but their ower woul% be limite% to fun%ing an% %oing the work we assigne% to them by referen%um. Gra$el's ro osal is that the -ecretaries of -tate in each of the fifty states form a committee that solicits i%eas for referen%a, writes them u , submits them to the ublic an% has them $ote% u or %own by the citi?enry in thirty to si)ty %ays, using $oice rints on JKK numbers or securityC rotecte% email or whate$er other electronic secure system we coul% set u . This way the oliticians woul% really work for the eo le. The so$ereignty of the in%i$i%ual woul% be establishe%. 1any of you may ha$e artici ate% in the online mo$eon.org mo$ement that grew to o$er 4K,KKK eo le in a matter of weeks %uring the ,linton im eachment hearings %ebacle in 1>>JC1>>>. The mo$ement was a gathering of citi?ens %isguste% with the selfCrighteous an% out of touch 5e ublicans in the House of 5e resentati$es ;as well as the lying oliticos among the Democrats an% the me%ia.< &e wante% the House to censure the resi%ent an% mo$e on, rather than waste another forty million %ollars an% three or four months on whether the resi%ent lie% about some se)ual acti$ity. &ell, e$entually the im eachment faile% as it was %estine% to %o from the beginning. &e ha$e mo$e% on, but it took four months longer than was nee%e%, while e$ery real roblem in *merica an% the rest of the worl% was ignore% as usual. #t was a art of the usual brea% an% circuses to kee us %istracte% from the truth rather than any kin% of search for the truth as they were reten%ing. +ow, many of us in mo$eon.org ha$e le%ge% millions of %ollars in cam aign fun%s against the re resentati$es an% senators who ke t the retense u . 1ore than anything else, we ha$e alrea%y ointe% out how out of touch with reality the me%ia an% the re resentati$es in our go$ernment are.
Da$i% Borten, also a member of the *lliance for Democracy an% author of When #orporations $ule the World an% The ,ost #orporate World , is a brilliant synthesi?er of known information an% an articulate teacher in re$ealing the truth about banks an% international cor orations. He oints out how they sim ly o$errule nations an% %emocratic rocesses as nee% be if that hel s the bottom line. His $ision of a new economic or%er base% on s iritualIe) eriential rinci les in the ost cor orate worl% is entirely consistent with an% in alliance with many of the rest of us who are mostly outsi%e the loo of big business, economics an% international %e$elo ment. +eale Donal% &alsch, author of #on"ersations with od books one, two an% three an% Friendship with od an% other books, is another frien% with a olitical an% economic $iew of the future out of which this new, more fair an% e(uitable worl% or%er we are all en$isioning together will be born. He is becoming worl% famous an% he wants to hel . His web site www.con$ersationswithgo%.com is the source of the same kin% of worl% community we are all working towar%. !n book tours # meet many frien%s of ol%, most of whom # ha% ne$er met in erson before. # meet many eo le who were in the same struggles # was engage% in7the ci$il rights mo$ement from 1>A> on, the antiC@ietnam war mo$ement from 1>M4 on, HaightC*shbury in the summers of 'MM to 'MJ, an% in school buses all o$er *merica in the early PK's, smoking ot an% e) erimenting with syche%elic an% other %rugs for many years. # meet eo le in$ol$e% in the ersonal growth an% human otential mo$ement %uring the 'JK's an% >K's ;est, .ife- ring, The Forum, *rica Training, Dathwork, family systems work, growth centers, cou les thera y, grou thera y, !rgani?ational De$elo ment work, !utwar% Boun%, an% many more ongoing a%ult e%ucation an% %e$elo ment e$ents<, as well as those su orting the furtherance of free%om for women an% gay eo le an% all secon% class citi?enry base% on cultural re'u%ice. &e ha$e been like a wi%ening stream o$er all those years, an% we ha$e %isco$ere% oursel$es to be the ones who knew an% transcen%e% the cultural limitations that all those mo$ements for liberation re resente%. # meet eo le who 'oine% the mo$ements early an% eo le who 'oine% late. # meet many who knew about but %i%n't know the im ort of all of these enter rises until after many of them were o$er, but now see the $alue of what was %one. 1any of us who are ol%er now an% more in charge of the worl% now, an% who were often right, as it turne% out, in a%$ance of the ma'ority, are still aware of how the worl% goes wrong. &e woul% like to %o something about it on a larger scale an% in a more otent way than we currently ha$e the structures for. # coul% go on an% on about many more of my frien%s, most of whom are less famous than the ones #'$e mentione%. But one thing has struck me o$er years of working with eo le in in%i$i%ual an% grou sychothera y an% worksho grou s. &hene$er anyone talks about what they really want in life, or writes or tells me their %escri tion of an i%eal worl% or writes u their life ur ose statements in my worksho s7# am ama?e% at how similar they all are. &8 *.. &*+T TH8 -*18 TH#+G:: 8$eryone's life ur ose statements are almost all the same. &e all want e$eryone in the worl% to be fe%, an% ha$e shelter an% the o ortunity to li$e an% lo$e an% learn. &e all want to ha$e e$eryone taken care of an% ha y an% ro$i%e% for. &e all want to contribute a conte)t of lo$e an%
security to e$eryone else in the worl%. *s T.-. 8liot foretol% in the AK's, this community is that 09strange beast, its hour come roun% at last, stumbling towar% Bethlehem to be born.0 2ohn .ennon en$isione% in the MK's this conclusion we are coming to in these %ays. #'m sure you can remember the tune to 0#magine.0 0#magine there's no hea$en #t's easy if you try +o hell below us *bo$e us only sky. #magine all the eo le .i$ing for to%ay.0 0#magine there's no country #t isn't har% to %o. +othing to kill or %ie for *n% no religion too #magine all the eo le .i$ing life in eace90 0#magine no ossessions # won%er if you can +o nee% for gree% or hunger * brotherhoo% of man #magine all the eo le -haring all the worl%90 0"ou may say #'m a %reamer But #'m not the only one # ho e some%ay you'll 'oin us *n% the worl% will li$e as one.0 #f that is what we all want, why can't we %o it6 There is nothing in our way e)ce t out%ate% ara%igms an% habit an% ignorance. -o, if we all want the same thing, let's %o it: # ha$e an i%ea about how to start. #reating a 5ew 5ation 1y frien%, Tom 2ames, along with some frien%s of his, inclu%ing me, an% some other frien%s of mine, ha$e the bright i%ea to create a new nation. &e are starting, through the #nternet, this book, an% by talking to e$eryone we know, to in$ite eo le to become citi?ens of a new country. &e en$ision this new nation to be base% on honesty an% free%om. &e en$ision a nation where an honest con$ersation is the main ongoing metho% of sustenance an% management of the nation itself. &e en$ision this new nation as a conte)t within which the e)isting structures of control are transforme%. &e ho e to buil% a arallel system to the current worl% go$ernment an% economic or%er an% run it alongsi%e the ol% one until it has been well teste%7 'ust like you buil% an% o erate simultaneously two arallel rograms for a while when you are switching to a new com uter system. !nce we com lete the
structure of our nation, test out the new system an% grow a little bit, we will then use our new go$ernment to re lace the ol% one. #t is, of course, a naZ$e an% ri%iculous i%ea, an% if we were not creating it as a conte)t big enough to inclu%e all of the reasons that it is ri%iculous, we coul% 'ust (uit after we were amuse% by the ossibility for a while. But noooo: &e ha$e to create it as a conte)t: *n%, as you may remember from cha ter twentyCthree, creating a conte)t is %ifferent from taking a osition about what shoul% be. By creating a conte)t we are em owere% by o osition, criticism, an% resistance that cause the furtherance of our success rather than sto ing us. &hen we grow bigger in influence than the highly ai% lobbyists for the international cor orations, we will take o$er more an% more of the ol% go$ernment an% then 'ust re lace it with ours. 2oin us. #f anyone asks you what we are about, tell them that we are a cult an% we lan to take o$er the worl%. ;&e want to start out by telling the truth an% %o it all the way through.< #n fact, the way you actually $ote in this form of go$ernment is by s eaking about an% listening to the truth about what is going on in the worl% an% how you feel about it an% what you think first, an% then saying what you are in fa$or of as olicy secon%, an% then gi$ing all the rest of us a chance to choose among alternati$e ways of %ealing with what has been brought to our attention in the whole con$ersation. Here is the lan4 !ur new nation is calle% The /nite% -tates of Being. 8$eryone belongs to this country who li$es on lanet earth. -igning u to $ote makes one a $oting member rather than 'ust a lain citi?en. To become a $oting citi?en of the /nite% -tates of Being, all you ha$e to %o is sign u an% $ote on referen%a you hel create. "ou %o not ha$e to sece%e from your current country. "ou can ha$e 'oint citi?enshi with us an% with any other worl% state at the same time as far as we are concerne%. Gi$e us your email a%%ress an% home a%%ress an% we will continue to notify you of our growth an% %e$elo ment an% ask you to kee artici ating with us to make oursel$es a $iable alternati$e to the current worl% or%er. *t our websiteH www.ra%icalhonesty.com, you can sign u as a citi?en of our new country an% then sen% an email to all your frien%s an% ask them to sign u . # ro ose that we buil% this thing together from scratch through referen%a an% simulation of go$ernment in arallel to the other worl% or%er an% economic setu . &e'll run this arallel system until we are rea%y to take o$er the worl%. #t may take a while an% be a little bit of work, but what the hell6 &hat else are you going to waste your life %oing, anyway6 #f you %on't ha$e email or if you ha$e frien%s who %on't ha$e email, call 1C JKKC8.CT5/TH an% we will sign you u . &e only nee% about a cou le million enrollments before we make our first big mo$e. Dass this aroun% an% let's get starte%. The initial geogra hical center for organi?ing the new /nite% -tates of Being is at my house, on - arrowhawk Farm, a >FCacre iece of lan% in the -henan%oah @alley of @irginia in the /nite% -tates on the continent of +orth *merica. &e lan, by the time we reach 1K,KKK members, to come u with a way of creating basic %ocuments, such as a constitution for our new country, by $oting on referen%a. !ur first $ote will be on a few beginning referen%a
concerning the rimary $alues of the new /.-. of Being. 8$ery referen%um will be a$ailable for eo le to $ote for or against for GK %ays an% they can $ote by email or by calling our JKK number. 1inimum $oting age is 1F. *s we get bigger, we will nee% some money for setting u $oice rint i%entities an% securing the email way of $oting so we can re$ent cheating on the $ote. &e will e$entually %e$elo systems for creating a new worl% economic or%er. Dlease 'oin now an% hel us create a new worl% or%er for e$eryone in the worl% by e$eryone in the worl% who is willing to hel . *ll we ha$e to %o is let eo le know what is ossible here. The less than one ercent of us who own com uters can get this starte%, an% then s rea% this an% the a$ailability an% use of com uters worl%wi%e at the same time. Free R#dic# $ This book was going to be calle% Free $adicals, but we change% the title because we thought we coul% sell more books if e$eryone who rea% $adical +onesty recogni?e% this book as a se(uel. &e ha$e come to call oursel$es 0free ra%icals0 because of our %estructi$e an% creati$e function an% intention. #n the biological worl%, free ra%icals are a ba% thing. Too many of them %estroy the bo%y by causing cancer. To a$oi% cancer we are su ose% to eat right ;for e)am le, lots of carrots for beta carotene< an% %o what we can to ut a %am er on free ra%icals. But free ra%icals are also im ortant in causing mutations an% elaborations in genetic structure so e$olution can occur. &e call oursel$es free ra%icals to own, by analogy, our %estructi$e function an% our reCcreati$e function. &e are here to %estroy the current bo%y olitic of the worl%. ,heerfully an% without $iolence, we want to en% cor orate rule, to C%own management, bor%ers, the worl% economic or%er an% all the establishe% religious institutions of the current worl%. They are all the organism within which we li$e an% which we inten% to %estroy an% re lace by our growth. &e are mutants. &e are as certain as %eath an% e$olution. ;Ta)es are no longer certainH we ha$en't $ote% on that yet.< Here is how you sign u 4 "ou %eclare yourself a citi?en of the /nite% -tates of Being, a new nation in cybers ace an% in the imagination of eo le e$erywhere. &e will work to buil%, in actuality, in the real worl%, a substitute go$ernment that will be both more com assionate an% efficient than the oor ignorant way we ha% worl% or%er set u at the en% of the twentieth century. *fter assing a series of referen%a, inclu%ing our new constitution, we will form the arallel go$ernment we imagine while at the same time becoming a olitical force in the go$erning of the /nite% -tates of *merica an% of other nation states. &hen we ha$e strong alternati$es to what management systems currently e)ist, we will substitute them for the anti(uate% structures. #f you are willing to hel , lease rea%, en%orse, an% ass on this new %eclaration of in%e en%ence. "ou can go to our web site an% %ownloa% this an% email it to all your frien%s. Here is the email # ha$e sent out an% we alrea%y ha$e hun%re%s of members. ;Dlease feel free to co y this an% sen% it to all your frien%s.< A #ampaign "o )orm A 5ew 5ation For those of you who %on't know me, my name is Bra% Blanton. # am a sychothera ist an% worksho lea%er an% author of a book calle% $adical
+onesty) +ow to Transform Your 'ife by Telling the Truth. # am art of a community of frien%s who focus on being honest about what we think an% what we feel an% what we %o. &e ha$e hel e% each other grow u a lot an% we contribute what we ha$e learne% to other eo le by hel ing to un%o an% then reorgani?e %ysfunctional families7starting from nuclear families, but now e) an%ing to go$ernments, cor orations an% international cor orate interest grou s that influence go$ernments. !ur work is base% mostly on the ersonal growth of eo le in grou s who ha$e been healing themsel$es from cultural %amage in the conte)t of thera eutic communities ;like **, *lC*non, the Forum, .ife- ring, an% many others<. # ha$e been writing about all these communities while working on my ne)t bookH $adical +onesty %%) +ow To #omplete the ,ast, 'i"e in the ,resent and *uild a Future with a 'ittle +elp from Your Friends, an% when # got to the final cha ter, a con$ersation got starte% among me an% many of the eo le hel ing me. &e ha$e come u with a big i%ea, which is this4 &hat if we forme% a new country6 * lot of us are fe% u with the current state of go$ernment an% olitics an% out of frustration with current affairs, we woul% like to buil% on the wis%om of the ast but start o$er again with the new ara%igm we all are alrea%y o erating from base% on what we ha$e learne% in our li$es that makes the ol% to C%own manage% ara%igm obsolete. #t will be a lot like %esigning new software an% then running it arallel to the ol% software until it has been teste%, an% then ut it into lace re lacing the ol% software. &e coul% form a new nation an% it coul% inclu%e e$eryone in the worl%, by 'ust ha$ing citi?ens sign u , base% on the rinci les articulate% in the Declaration of #n%e en%ence of the /nite% -tates. But instea% of organi?ing against the Bing of 8nglan%, we shall organi?e against the out%ate% ara%igms maintaine% by the current worl% economic or%er. *n% instea% of a bloo%y re$olution we coul% 'ust ha$e a re$olution of consciousness7a re%esign re$olution7a change of mo%els from one that is not working so well to one that works better. How har% coul% that be6 ;Ha:< -o we ha$e written a new Declaration of #n%e en%ence, mo%ele% $ery closely after the first one, an% we are foun%ing a new nation. &e in$ite you to 'oin us. Here it is4
Dec #r#tion o! Inde&endence !or # Ne- ,i enniu'
;1o%ele% after the Declaration of #n%e en%ence of the /nite% -tates of *merica an% the Foun%ing Document of the /nite% -tates of Being< &hen in the course of human e$ents it becomes necessary for one eo le to %issol$e the olitical ban%s which ha$e connecte% them with another, an% to assume among the owers of the earth the se arate an% e(ual station to which the .aws of +ature entitle them, a %ecent res ect for the o inions of humankin% re(uires that they shoul% %eclare the causes that im el them to the se aration. &e hol% these truths to be selfCe$i%ent, that all human beings are e(ual, that we all ha$e certain unalienable rightsH that
among these are life, liberty an% the ursuit of ha iness. That to secure these rights, go$ernments are institute% among human beings, %eri$ing their 'ust owers from the consent of the go$erne%. That whene$er any form of go$ernment becomes %estructi$e of these en%s, it is the right of the eo le to alter or abolish it, an% to institute new go$ernment, laying its foun%ation on such rinci les an% organi?ing its ower in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety an% ha iness. Dru%ence, in%ee%, will %ictate that go$ernments long establishe% shoul% not be change% for light an% transient causesH an% accor%ingly all e) erience has shown that humankin% is more %is ose% to suffer, while e$ils are sufferable, than to right themsel$es by abolishing the forms to which they are accustome%. But when a long train of abuses an% usur ations, ursuing in$ariably the same ob'ect, e$inces a %esign to re%uce them un%er absolute %es otism, it is their right, it is their %uty, to throw off such go$ernment, an% to ro$i%e new guar%s for their future security. -uch has been the atient sufferance of all human beings coloniali?e% by the currently e)isting worl% economy an% go$ernment at the en% of the twentieth century, an% such is now the necessity that constrains them to alter their former systems of go$ernment. The history of the growth of international cor orations an% national go$ernments an% their interactions in the twentieth century is a history of re eate% in'uries an% usur ations, all ha$ing, in %irect ob'ect, the establishment of an absolute tyranny o$er human beings belonging to this lanet. To ro$e this, let the facts be submitte% to a can%i% worl%. The go$ernance of the /nite% -tates of *merica, economically the strongest nation currently in the worl%, is un%uly influence% an%, in ractical fact, controlle%, by international cor orations in alliance with military interests an% (uasiCmilitary secret agencies an% roCmilitary go$ernmental bo%ies. The ,ongress of the /nite% -tates, the 'u%iciary branch, an% the resi%ency %o not o erate in%e en%ently from this influence. Through hire% lobbyists an% cam aign contributions to both arties in an illusory twoC arty system, cor orate money controls legislation to such a %egree as to $irtually eliminate serious o osition. The ,ongress, the courts, an% the resi%ency ha$e faile% to ass or effecti$ely a%$ocate any cam aign legislation that limits the way they, themsel$es, ha$e come into ower in the first lace, base% on limite% an% nonC %emocratic cor orate interests. The bu%get for %efense at the en% of the twentieth century, when we are not at war, takes u twentyCtwo ercent of the Gross +ational Dro%uct. They kee among us, in times of eace, stan%ing armies without our consent, an% with secret agencies hi%%en from the citi?enry, ren%er the military in%e en%ent of,
an% su erior to, the ci$il ower. There are at least thirtyCsi) se arate secret agencies whose fun%ing, o erations, an% acti$ities are ke t secret from the o ulace in the name of national security. &hen egregious acti$ities on the art of these military an% araCmilitary organi?ations are brought to light, the re$elations are %eca%es after the occurrence of the offen%ing acti$ity, ren%ering it im ossible to ha$e their acti$ities curtaile% by the eo le of this country until those res onsible are no longer in ower. Health care is a ri$ilege rather than a right. This ri$ilege %e en%s on how much money an in%i$i%ual has. #nsurance com anies of such si?e an% wealth as to challenge the ower of whole nations are in alliance with harmaceutical com anies of the same ro ortionate financial ower who are also, themsel$es, in alliance with a me%ical establishment structurally %e en%ent u on the largesse of cor orate giants an% $este% in the status (uo. These alliances can, an% %o, %efeat all attem ts at creating a fair an% e(uitable health care system for eo le in the /nite% -tates, while robbing e$en more of the remaining eo les of the worl% of that same o ortunity. The combination of these forces in the /nite% -tates of *merica has ma%e it %ifficult to bring into being a more fair an% e(uitable health care system worl%wi%e. The rule of law in the strongest nation on earth is a myth. The entire court system is corru t, unwiel%y, an% uncorrectable. The criminal 'ustice system is correct in only one way, its name4 the criminal 'ustice system. &e are buil%ing new risons at an un rece%ente% rate an% o ulating them with ersons whose li$es were %amne% to be un%er ri$ilege% at birth, an% who ha$e been e%ucate% an% arente% in such a way as to ren%er them, for all ractical ur oses, immune to further learning for the rest of their li$es. &hen the rule of law is mentione% it is in the conte)t of tri$ial arguments in %efense of righteousness, where $aluing belief in the rightness of rinci les themsel$es for rinci le's sake is hel% higher than compassion for li$ing human beings. -uch reification of belief, in any $alues whatsoe$er, such that they are holy an% untouchable, kee s all that is felt in res onse to the nee%s of li$ing ersons from being acte% u on an% mitigates against the fle)ible creation of systems an% structures that reC create those things nee%e% for humanity as nee%s occur. The largest economic enterprise on earth is illegal drugs, most of them pain killers. This is ke t in lace in the worl% by the /nite% -tates of *merica through the %eca%esClong soCcalle% 0war on %rugs0 in which the alliance of the righteously religious, the health care establishment, the araCmilitary secret agencies an% the legal system su orts the sustenance of the whole corru t enter rise of 0illegal %rugs0 by outlawing selecte% %rugs an% bringing ressure to bear on other countries to %o the same. #n this way the illegal market can be maintaine%, the racist criminal 'ustice system remains in lace, an% the 'obs of the har% working but incom etent can be sustaine%. Deo le who are misse% in the illegal %rug tra%e are e$en more e) ensi$ely su lemente% by the legal harmaceutical in%ustry, which gets to a%$ertise its biochemical solutions to hysical sym toms source% by the social malaise of which they are such an im ortant art.
The se aration of arties in the /nite% -tates of *merica is also a myth. The one arty with two names is owne% an% o erate% by international an% national cor orate financiers, an% kee s the o ulace un%er control through secret agreements, lobbying, an% ownershi of the ublic me%ia. The ongoing news me%ia show is controlle% continuously by the selfsame cor orations. For e)am le, in the argument between the 0two0 arties about setting the minimum wage, 5e ublicans a%$ocate a smaller figure an% Democrats a%$ocate a somewhat larger figure for an hourly wage. The entire %iscussion is limite% to the 0conser$ati$e0 a%$ocates of the smaller figure an% the 0liberal0 a%$ocates of the larger figure. Those amounts are all that get %iscusse% in the me%ia. This circus continues an% is re orte% an% inter rete% by a me%ia controlle% by cor orate interests so there is no meaningful %iscussion of what a minimum wage means. The ossibility of creating a new minimum wage base% on some stan%ar% other than the wellCestablishe% tra%ition of control of the market lace by a $ery small minority of establishe% financiers an% institutions is ne$er raise%. The me%ia only reframes what they are gi$en in an attem t to sensationali?e the conte)ts ro$i%e% for them. This is the circus that is set out for the entertainment an% substitute for thought for the ublic at large, an% for their continual %rugge% state, in case the illegal %rugs ro$i%e% an% the legal harmaceutical in%ustry's efforts ha$e not suffice%. #n e$ery stage, these o ressions are maintaine% an% reinforce% by a go$ernment of re resentati$es, whose elections were bought through a%$ertising in multiCmillion %ollar cam aigns finance% by establishe% interests. Those of us who ha$e etitione% for re%ress ha$e been ignore% or answere% by re eate% in'ury. &e ha$e warne% them from time to time of the %anger of their attem ts to e)ten% an unwarrantable 'uris%iction o$er us. &e ha$e remin%e% them of our rights un%er the ,onstitution of the /nite% -tates an% the go$ernment an% regulations set u un%er that constitution to no a$ail. &e ha$e a eale% to their nati$e 'ustice an% magnanimity an% we ha$e con'ure% them by the ties of our common kin%re% here in our nati$e lan% an% in locations throughout the worl%, to %isa$ow these usur ations of ower that woul% ine$itably interru t our connections an% corres on%ence with each other. &e ha$e re eate%ly %eman%e% cam aign finance reform an% ha% e$eryone in both arties in fa$or of it an% 0trying0 to %o so for the last thirty years of this century an% that reform has not occurre%. The ,ongress, the 'u%iciary an% the resi%ency of the /nite% -tates of *merica ha$e been bought. They are %eaf to the $oice of 'ustice an% consanguinity. Their allegiances are all to the same interests an% controlle% by the same alliance of cor orations working in skillful accor% with each other. They owe their elections an% their a ointments to the eo le with the money. &e must, therefore, ac(uiesce in the necessity that %enounces our se aration, an% hol% them, as we hol% the rest of mankin%, enemies in warH in eace, frien%s. This is a war of min%s an% hearts of ersons whose rimary $alue is com assion, against ersons whose min%s an% hearts are committe% to con(uest, control, an% the status (uo. This is a war to be fought not on the
battlefiel%, but in the family, the local community, the market lace, the #nternet, the ersonal con$ersation with frien%s, intimate con$ersations between cou les, con$ersations with strangers an% e$ery other a$enue of communication an% as ect of life on earth, from now on out, until the conclusion is assente% to by all eo le, that we are of one cloth an% %o honor each others' humanity abo$e leasures an% sufferings of con(uest an% control. # f we coul% re resent the worl%'s o ulation in current times as a $illage of one hun%re% eo le, with all e)isting human ratios remaining the same, it woul% look like thisH PK woul% be unable to rea%. AK woul% suffer from malnutrition. JK woul% li$e in substan%ar% housing. 1 woul% ha$e a college e%ucation. Fifty ercent of the entire worl% wealth woul% be in the han%s of M eo le. *ll M woul% be citi?ens of the /nite% -tates of *merica. ;from 1arianne &illiamson, The +ealing of &merica: +ot one woul% own a com uter. &e, the foun%ers of a new or%er, inten% to change the fun%amental structures that maintain this obscene balance of wealth an% ower. This limitation of ossibility for most of humankin% can only be change% by changing the economic or%er u on which it is %e en%ent, hol%ing our $oices an% sheer numbers in alliance with each other as more im ortant an% more owerful than the numbers of %ollars hel% by the limite% few. &e assert that eo le are more im ortant than money an% we inten% to buil% a new worl% or%er that reflects that, e$en if it means roclaiming a new form of money. &e, therefore, as re resentati$es of the /nite% -tates of Being, %o, in the name of, an% by the authority of, the goo% eo le of this worl%, solemnly ublish an% %eclare, that these /nite% -tates of Being are, an% of right ought to be, a Free an% #n%e en%ent +ationH that we lace as secon%ary all allegiance to any go$ernment whatsoe$er that re(uires of us, %irectly or in%irectly, a artici ation in the $iolation of basic human rights to foo%, shelter, health care, a %ecent e%ucation, an% the restoration of ecological balance of the earth for all of the eo le of the earth, now an% in the future. &e roclaim oursel$es to be the creators of a new conte)t an% a new country calle% the /nite% -tates of Being, within which resi%e all go$ernments, enter rises, cor orate entities an% affiliations of humankin% an% un%er whom all allegiances to other ersons or collecti$e bo%ies are subsume%, towar% the goal of making a worl% where hysical warfare e)ists no more, star$ation en%s, a%e(uate shelter is ro$i%e% for all eo le, ecological balance is restore%, health an% well being are assure% an% the fun%amental e%ucation of all eo les is ro$i%e% for. *n% for the su ort of this %eclaration, we mutually le%ge to each other our li$es, our fortunes, an% our sacre% honor. Bra% Blanton #f you want to sign u , go to our web site an% %o so. #f you %on't ha$e a
com uter call us at 1CJKKC8.CT5/TH an% we'll sen% you a co y to sign. !ur web a%%ress is4 htt 4IIwww.ra%icalhonesty.com * new worl% or%er is at han%, an% it is a form of or%er that ro$i%es for conscious human artici ation in continuous creation an% recreation without en%, an% we are at the forefront of the cult that controls the ru%%er4 the telling the truth cult. &e stan% with clear eyes ga?ing into the labyrinth of lies most of us call home, talking about what we see, bringing about its %ownfall. *t the same time, we are creating in its lace, out of a more honest con$ersation, a new way of being together an% taking care of each other. ,ome on in, we're %oing fineH you'll lo$e it. Thank you for rea%ing this book. Thank you for listening.
Bi5 io)r#&h% #nd Reco''ended Re$ource$

+ooks *luna, 1ichael Dow%. 1arthspirit) & +andbook for Nurturing an 1cological #hristianity. 1>>1, TwentyCThir% Dublications. *n%erson, -arahH ,a$anaugh, 2ohn. Top FBB) The $ise of ,ower. 1>>M, #nstitute for Dolicy -tu%ies. lobal #orporate uide to the
*n%erson, -arahH ,a$anaugh, 2ohnH .ea, Thea. The New Field lobal 1conomy. FKKK, The +ew Dress.
*ren%t, Hannah. 1ichmann in ?erusalem) & $eport on the *anality of 1"il. 1>>4, @iking Denguin. *ren%t, Hannah. +uman #ondition. 1>>J, /ni$ersity of ,hicago Dress. Berenstain, -tan ;1>FG<H Berenstain, 2an ;1>>P<. %nside Outside -pside /own. 1>>P, 5an%om House #ncor orate%. Blanton, Bra%. $adical +onesty) +ow to Transform Your 'ife by Telling the Truth. 1>>M, Dell Dublishing. Bra%shaw, 2ohn. #reating 'o"e. 1>>G, 1acmillan .ibrary 5eference. Bra%shaw, 2ohn. Family (ecrets. 1>>M, Bantam Books. Bra%shaw, 2ohn. +omecoming. 1>>F, Bantam Books. Breggin, DeterH Breggin, Ginger 5. The War &gainst #hildren. 1>>4, -aint 1artin's Dress. Breggin, DeterH Breggin, Ginger 5. The War &gainst #hildren of #olor. 1>>J, ,ommon ,ourage Dress.
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,ho ra, Dee ak. +ealing the +eart. 1>>J, 1acmillan .ibrary 5eference. ,ho ra, Dee ak. ?ourney %nto +ealing. 1>>>, ,rown Dublishing Grou #ncor orate%. ,ho ra, Dee ak. O"ercoming &ddictions. 1>>J, Three 5i$ers Dress. ,ho ra, Dee ak. (e"en 'aws of (piritual (uccess. 1>>>, @e%anta Dress. ,o$ey, -te$en. The J +abits of +ighly 1ffecti"e ,eople. 1>>P, ,o$ey .ea%ershi ,enter. ,rosby, BobH -cherer, 2ohn. ,eople ,erformance ,rofile. 1>JA, 2osseyCBass, #ncor orate% Dublishers. ,ummings, 8.8. 1imi. 1>>1, 5e rint -er$ices ,or oration. ,ummings, 8.8. ,oems AKFG<AKCL. 1>A4, Harcourt, Brace N &orl%, #nc. Dale, -tan. Fantasies #an (et You Free. 1>JK, ,elestial *rts Dublishing ,om any. Dale, -tan. 4y #hild, 4y (elf. 1>>F, Human *wareness Dublications. Diamon%, 2are% 1. The Third #himpan7ee. 1>>F, Har er ,ollins Dublishers #ncor orate%. Diamon%, 2are% 1. Why %s (e! Fun= 1>>P, Har er ,ollins Dublishers #ncor orate%. 8rhar%, &erner. Outrageous *etrayal. 1>>G, -aint 1artin's Dress. Farberow, +. (uicide in /ifferent #ultures. 1>PA, /ni$ersity Dark Dress. Ferguson, 1arilyn. The &.uarian #onspiracy. 1>JP, The Dutnam Dublishing Grou . Ferguson, 1arilyn. The *rain $e"olution. 1>PG, Ta linger Dublishing ,o. Ferguson, 1arilyn. ,ragmagic. 1>>K, Docket Books. Foun%ation for #nner Deace -taff. & #ourse in 4iracles. 1>>M, @iking Denguin. Francina, -u?a. The New Yoga for ,eople O"er CB. 1>>P, Health ,ommunications, #nc. Frit?, 5obert. #orporate Tides. 1>>M, BerrettCBoehler Dublishers #ncor orate%.
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Been, -am. %nward *ound. 1>>F, Bantam. Been, -am. 'earning to Fly. 1>>>, Broa%way Books. Been, -am. The ,assionate 'ife. 1>J4, Har er -an Francisco. Been, -am. (acred ?ourney. 1>>M, -imon N -chuster Tra%e. Been, -am. To 'o"e I *e 'o"ed. 1>>>, Bantam. Belly, George *. The ,sychology of ,ersonal #onstructs. 1>>F, 5outle%ge. Blein, 1artyH 5obbins, 5iki. 'et 4e #ount the Ways) /isco"ering Without %ntercourse. 1>>>, The Dutnam Dublishing Grou . reat (e!
Borten, Da$i% ,. The ,ost #orporate World. 1>>J, ,oDublications. Borten, Da$i% ,. When #orporations $ule the World. 1>>M, ,oDublications. Brishnamurti, 2i%%u. You are the World. ;out of rintH other titles a$ailable< .aut, Dhil. 4oney is 4y Friend. 1>>>, Ballantine Dublishing Grou .
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.lewellyn, Grace. The Teenage 'iberation +andbook. 1>>J, .owry House. .ore, +icholas. The ,athfinder) +ow to #hoose or #hange Your #areer for a 'ifetime of (atisfaction and (uccess. 1>>J, -imon N -chuster 1c,arthy, ,ormac. #ities of the ,lain. 1>>J, B.8. Trice Dublishing. 1c,arthy, ,ormac. The #rossing. 1>>M, 5an%om House @alue Dublishing #ncor orate%. +eill, *.-. Freedom Not 'icense. 1>PJ, Docket Books. 1aharishi 1ahesh "ogi. T4. 1>>J, +*.IDutton. +eill, *.-. (ummerhill. 1>J4, Docket Books. +eill, *.-. (ummerhill For I &gainst. 1>PJ, Docket Books. +eill, *.-. (ummerhill (chool. 1>>G, -aint 1artin's Dress, #ncor orate%. +orretran%ers, Tor. The -ser %llusion) #utting #onsciousness /own to (i7e. 1>>J, @iking Denguin. !rnish, Dean. 1at 4ore, Weigh 'ess. 1>>P, Har er -an Francisco. !rnish, Dean, 1.D. 'o"e I (ur"i"al) The (cientific *asis for the +ealing ,ower of %ntimacy, 1>>J, Har er,ollins Dublishers #ncor orate%. Darton, Dolly. #oat of 4any #olors. 1>>M, Har er ,ollins ,hil%ren's Books. ,atan6ali's Yoga (utras. 1>>A, 1unshiram 1anoharial Dublishers Dri$ate, .imite%. Deck, 1. -cott. ifts for the ?ourney. FKKK, 5enaissance Books.
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Derls, Frit?. The estalt &pproach I 1ye Witness to Therapy. 1>PM, Bantam Books #ncor orate%. Derls, Frit?. 'egacy From Frit7. 1>PA, -cience N Beha$ior Books, #ncor orate%. Deters, Tom. The #ircle of %nno"ation. 1>>>, @intage Books. Deters, Tom. +eart I (oul of 1!cellence. 1>>P, 5an%om House @alue Dublishing #ncor orate%. Deters, Tom. 1!cellence in the Organi7ation. 1>>A, -imon N -chuster Tra%e. Deters, Tom. 'iberation 4anagement. 1>>A, 5an%om House @alue Dublishing #ncor orate%. Deters, Tom. The ,ursuit of Wow3 1>>A, @intage Books. Drather, HughH Drather, Gayle. & *ook For #ouples. 1>>J, Double%ay. Drather, HughH Drather, Gayle. % Will Ne"er 'ea"e You) +ow #ouples #an &chie"e the ,ower of 'asting 'o"e. 1>>A, Bantam Books. Drather, HughH Drather, Gayle. ,arables from Other ,lanets. 1>>F, Bantam Books. Drather, HughH Drather, Gayle. (piritual ,arenting) & uide to -nderstanding and Nurturing Your #hild. 1>>P, ,rown Dublishing Grou . 5obbins, Tom. &nother $oadside &ttraction. 1>>1, Bantam. 5obbins, Tom. 1"en #owgirls et the *lues. 1>>K, Bantam.
5obbins, Tom. +alf &sleep in Frog ,a6amas. 1>>A, Bantam. 5obbins, Tom. ?itterbug ,erfume. 1>>K, Bantam. 5obbins, Tom. (kinny 'egs I &ll. 1>>A, Bantam. 5obbins, Tom. (till 'ife with Woodpecker. 1>>K, Bantam. -chiffmann, 8rich. Yoga) The (pirit and ,ractice of 4o"ing into (tillness. 1>>M, Docket BooksI-imon N -chuster, #nc. -cherer, 2ohnH -hook, .arry. Work I the +uman (pirit. 1>>G, 2ohn -cherer N *ssociates. -chut?, &illH Turner, 8$elyn. *ody Fantasy. 1>PP, Har er ,ollins Dublishing
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-te$ens, 2ohn !. *wareness4 1!ploring, 1!perimenting, 1!periencing. 1>PG, Bantam Books, #ncor orate%. &alsch, +eale Donal%. #on"ersations With .ibrary 5eference. &alsch, +eale Donal%. Friendship With od series. 1>>>, 1acmillan
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&illiamson, 1arianne. 1nchanted 'o"e) The 4ystical ,ower of %ntimate $elationships. 1>>>, -imon N -huster. &illiamson, 1arianne. The +ealing of &merica. 1>>P, -imon N -huster Tra%e. &illiamson, 1arianne. +ealing the (oul of &merica. 1>>>, -imon N -huster Tra%e. &illiamson, 1arianne. $eturn to 'o"e. 1>>M, Har er,ollins Dublishers #ncor orate%. Annot#ted Re$ource$ !or Ch#&ter *< ;5e$iews by 1ichael Dow%< *n%russ, @an, ,hristo her Dlant, et. al. +ome3 & *ioregional $eader. Dhila%el hia4 +ew -ociety Dublishers, 1>>K. *n e)cellent intro%uction to bioregionalism, which is the +orth *merican e(ui$alent to the Green mo$ement in 8uro e. Dresents an e)citing $ision an% strategy for creating sustainable communities an% cultures in harmony with the limits an% regenerati$e owers of
8arth. Berry, Thomas. The /ream of the 1arth. -an Francisco4 -ierra ,lub Books, 1>JJ. This book is an enlightening an% em owering resentation of our mo%ern cosmology. Berry e) lores the im lications of our common creation story with regar% to energy, technology, ecology, economics, e%ucation, s irituality, atriarchy, bioregionalism, ,hristianity, an% more. He also inclu%es a $ery hel ful annotate% bibliogra hy. * goo% intro%uction to erha s the most rominent ecoCtheologian ;or 0geologian0< ali$e to%ay. Bateson, Gregory. (teps to an 1cology of 4ind. +ew "ork4 Ballantine Books, 1>PF. 1in% an% +ature4 * +ecessary /nity. +ew "ork4 Bantam Books, 1>JK. Bateson shows how we must think if we are to be reconcile% to our true nature7 how to 0think as nature thinks0, an% regain our lace in the natural worl%. &eighty rea%ing, but well worth the effort. ,a ra, Frit'of. The Turning ,oint) (cience, (ociety, and the $ising #ulture. +ew "ork4 Bantam Books, 1>JG. * fascinating look at how %isco$eries in the sciences o$er the last century are ushering in a whole new way of being human. ,a ra, a hysicist, com ellingly shows how we ha$e reache% a time of %ramatic change, a turning oint for the lanet as a whole. #ogito. *lfre% B. -tarratt, Bo) MA1>K, Baltimore, 1D F1FK>. Dublishe% twice a month, subtitle% 0* 2ournal Dromoting the Healthy Human - iritH #ns ire% by .o$e C Gui%e% by 5eason0. ,ogito is consistently e)cellent. De$all, Bill, an% George -essions. /eep 1cology) 'i"ing as if Nature 4attered. -alt .ake ,ity4 Deregrine -mith, 1>JA. * fun%amental e) osition of the hiloso hy of %ee ecology. De$all, Bill. (imple in 4eans, $ich in 1nds) ,racticing /eep 1cology. -alt .ake ,ity4 Deregrine -mith, 1>JJ. * goo% gui%e to embo%ying the %ee ecology ers ecti$e in e$ery%ay life. Dow%, 1ichael. 1arth(pirit) & +andbook for Nurturing an 1cological #hristianity. 1ystic, ,onnecticut4 TwentyCThir% Dublications, 1>>1. * resource for in%i$i%ual an% grou stu%y. Thomas Berry says of this book, 0* clear, %elightful resentation of a ,hristianity that is ali$e, gui%es us, an% e$okes within us those s iritual energies that we nee% to assume our religious res onsibilities for the fate of the 8arth... Truly a han%book worthy of its sub'ect, a gui%ebook for those who teach, a te)tbook for all of us who are learning0. 8isler, 5iane. The #halice and the *lade) Our +istory, Our Future. -an Francisco4 Har er N 5ow, 1>JP. * synthesis of feminist scholarshi , archaeological research, an% %ynamic systems theory, this book %raws hea$ily on what has been learne% %uring this century about the neolithic cultures of !l% 8uro e. 8isler insists that we must re lace our resent %ominator mo%el of human relationshi s with a artnershi mo%el, if we are to sur$i$e into the future.
Ferris, Timothy. The #reation of the -ni"erse ;>K minute $i%eota e<. DB- Home @i%eo, AK +. .a ,ienega Bl$%., Be$erly Hills, ,* >KF11H ;JKK< PPMCJGKK. ,ommunicates what we know scientifically about the origin an% nature of the uni$erse in an e)citing an% un%erstan%able way. Fo), 1atthew. #reation (pirituality. -an Francisco4 Har er ,ollins, 1>>K. The ,oming of the ,osmic ,hrist. -an Francisco4 Har er N 5ow, 1>JJ. !riginal Blessing4 * Drimer in ,reation - irituality. -anta Fe, +14 Bear N ,om any, 1>JG. * - irituality +ame% ,om assion. -an Francisco4 Har er N 5ow, 1>J1. Fo), a contro$ersial 5oman ,atholic theologian, e) lores the riches of the ,hristian tra%ition from the ers ecti$e of our new scientific cosmology. He breaks a lot of new groun%. Fo), &arwick. Toward a Transpersonal 1cology) /e"eloping New Foundations for 1n"ironmentalism. Boston4 -hambhala, 1>>K. *n aca%emic history an% analysis of the %ee ecology mo$ement, with an e)hausi$e bibliogra hy. -uggests that the %istincti$e feature of %ee ecology is the notion of an e) ansi$e i%entification with the natural worl%4 8arth as our larger self. %n #onte!t) & Muarterly Of (ustainable #ulture. ,onte)t #nstitute, D.!. Bo) 114PK, Bainbri%ge #slan%, &* >J11K. * firstCrate 'ournal about thinking an% li$ing in harmony with nature. 2antsch, 8rich. The (elf<Organi7ing -ni"erse) (cientific and +uman %mplications of the 1merging ,aradigm of 1"olution. +ew "ork4 Dergamon Dress, 1>JK. This significant work e)amines the inner %ynamism of the /ni$erse from its origin through the %e$elo ment of humanity, an% within human social systems. 2antsch refers to the fact that the entire /ni$erse, at all le$els, can be un%erstoo% as an organic, %e$elo ing wholeH a li$ing system. .a,hance, *lbert. reenspirit) Twel"e (teps in 1cological (pirituality. 5ock ort, 1*4 8lement Books, 1>>1. * ractical gui%e to with%rawing from a%%icti$e consumerism an% li$ing a rofoun%ly %ownCtoCearth lifestyle. This book is a owerful synthesis of the new cosmology an% a twel$eCste reco$ery rocess. .a,ha elle, Dolores. (acred 'and (acred (e! < $apture of the /eep) #oncerning /eep 1cology and #elebrating 'ife. Fine Hill *rts, -il$erton, ,!4 1>JJ. 8arth Festi$als4 -easonal ,elebrations for 8$eryone "oung an% !l%. Fine Hill *rts, -il$erton, ,!4 1>PG. 8arth &is%om. Fine Hill *rts, -il$erton, ,!4 1>PJ. D! Bo) A4F, -il$erton, ,!. J14GGH ;GKG< GJPCAPF>. -acre% .an% -acre% -e) looks at how our #n%ustrial Growth -ociety has brought the worl% to the brink of ecoci%e. #t also oints in the %irection we must mo$e to be sa$e% from this fate. #t may be the most ro$ocati$e an% com rehensi$e treatment of the to ic anywhere. 8arth Festi$als is a won%erful resource for arents an% teachers. .as?lo, 8r$in. 1"olution) The rand (ynthesis. Boston4 -hambhala, +ew -cience .ibrary, 1>JP. * $ery rea%able synthesis of new natural an% social
scientific ers ecti$es on the nature of change within a selfCorgani?ing /ni$erse. .o$elock, 2ames 8. The &ges of aia) & *iography of Our 'i"ing 1arth. +ew "ork4 &.&. +orton N ,om any, 1>JJ. Healing Gaia4 Dractical 1e%icine for the Dlanet. +ew "ork4 Harmony Books, 1>>1. .o$elock, in 1>PF, was the originator of the Gaia hy othesis4 the scientific un%erstan%ing that the lanet 8arth, as a whole, is best un%erstoo% as a li$ing beingH as a selfCregulating organism. These books inclu%e the latest fin%ings of scientists concerning Gaia. They also oint in the %irection of lanetary health. 1acy, 2oanna. /espair and ,ersonal ,ower in the Nuclear &ge. Dhila%el hia4 +ew -ociety Dublishers, 1>JG. &orl% as .o$er, &orl% as -elf. Berkeley4 Daralla) Dress, 1>>1. 1acy's work is a won%erful synthesis of e) eriential %ee ecology, %es air work, general systems theory an% engage% Bu%%hism. Both of these books contain a wealth of wis%om an% com assion essential for the healing of our worl%. 1acGillis, 1iriam Therese. 1arth 'earning and (pirituality ;A hour $i%eota e<, New 1arth 1ducation ;G hour $i%eota e<, an% The Fate of the 1arth ;>K minute au%io ta e<. Global Ders ecti$es, D.!. Bo) >FA, -onoma, ,* >A4PMH ;PKP< >>MC 4PK4. 8ach of these is an e)cellent o ulari?ation of the work of Thomas Berry. 1an%er, 2erry. %n the &bsence of the (acred) The Failure of Technology and the (ur"i"al of the %ndian Nations. -an Francisco4 -ierra ,lub Books, 1>>1. * har% hitting criti(ue of our mo%ern technological society an% the %irection it is taking us, contraste% with the ongoing struggle for sur$i$al of the nati$e tra%itions. * %isturbing, enlightening an% e)tremely im ortant book. 1ills, -te hanie, e%. %n ,raise of Nature. &ashington, D.,.4 #slan% Dress, 1>>K. * collection of essays, book re$iews, an% (uotes from some of the lea%ing nature writers of this century. * $ery hel ful bibliogra hic source. Dlant, ,hristo her an% 2u%ith. Turtle Talk) 2oices for a (ustainable Future. Dhila%el hia4 +ew -ociety Dublishers, 1>>K. * collection of inter$iews with some of the lea%ing bioregionalists of our time. 5ifkin, 2eremy. *iosphere ,olitics) & #ultural Odyssey from the 4iddle &ges to the New &ge. -an Francisco4 Har er,ollins, 1>>F. * fascinating an% most im ortant look at how our changing notions of security ha$e le% us to the brink of ecological a ocaly se. 5ifkin also shows us how we must think an% li$e if we are to sur$i$e into the future. * goo% com anion $olume to .a,ha elle's -acre% .an% -acre% -e). -ahtouris, 8lisabet. aia) The +uman ?ourney from #haos to #osmos. +ew "ork4 Docket Books, 1>J>. *n e)cellent intro%uction to the Gaia theory C the scientific un%erstan%ing that 8arth itself is ali$e, rather than being merely a lanet with life on it.
-ee%, 2ohn, 2oanna 1acy, *rne +aess, et. al. Thinking 'ike a 4ountain) Towards a #ouncil of &ll *eings. Dhila%el hia4 +ew -ociety Dublishers, 1>JJ. This collection of essays, grou e)ercises, an% oetry is an in$aluable ai% to ersonally e) eriencing the lanet as one's larger self. -he ar%, Daul. The Tender #arni"ore and the (acred ame. +ew "ork4 -cribner, 1>PG. Thinking *nimals. +ew "ork4 @iking Dress, 1>PJ. +ature an% 1a%ness. -an Francisco4 -ierra ,lub Books, 1>JF. -he ar%'s work is im ortant in un%erstan%ing the historic an% aleohistoric causes of our estrangement from nature. His writings are forceful an% insightful. -ny%er, Gary. The Old Ways. -an Francisco4 ,ity .ight Books, 1>PP. Turtle #slan%. +ew "ork4 +ew Directions, 1>P4. The Dractice of the &il%. -an Francisco4 +orth Doint Dress, 1>>K. #n both his essays an% his oetry, Gary -ny%er ro$i%es %ee insight an% ins iration regar%ing 0li$ing in lace.0 - retnak, ,harlene. (tates of race) The $eco"ery of 4eaning in the ,ostmodern &ge. This book is about reclaiming the core teachings an% ractices of Bu%%hism, +ati$e *merican s irituality, Go%%ess s irituality, an% the -emitic tra%itions ;2u%aism, ,hristianity, an% #slam< for the wellCbeing of the 8arth community as a whole. - retnak focuses on the wis%om of each of these tra%itions in light of the new cosmology. -wimme, Brian. The -ni"erse is a reen /ragon) & #osmic #reation (tory. -anta Fe4 Bear N ,om any, 1>J4. ,anticle to the ,osmos. Ti%es Foun%ation, +ew-tory Dro'ect, 1G4 ,olleen -t., .i$ermore, ,* >4AAK. -wimme is a hysicist who has stu%ie% e)tensi$ely with Thomas Berry. The /ni$erse is a Green Dragon is an alluring intro%uction to the new cosmology. ,anticle to the ,osmos is a 1FC art $i%eo lecture series %esigne% to be use% for aca%emic classes, small grou stu%y, or for ersonal enrichment. #t is e)cellent: -wimme, Brian an% Thomas Berry. The -ni"erse (tory) From the ,rimordial Flaring Forth to the 1co7oic 1ra. -an Francisco4 Har er,ollins, 1>>F. This book is alrea%y being haile% as erha s one of the most significant works of the twentieth century. #t is a telling of the story of the /ni$erse with a feel for its s iritual %imensions, an% clearly in%icates the role of the human in this sacre% story of life. 1ust rea%ing.
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www.ra%icalhonesty.com
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Blanton Brad PH D Practicing Radical Honesty How To Complete The Past Stay in Present Build A Future

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Constitutional Court of South Africa

Practicing Radical Honesty:

RA ICAL H!"#STY$ H!W T! TRA"SF!R% Y!&R LIF# BY T#LLI"' TH# TR&TH

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Online for educational purposes at: JAG 07-146: www.jagia-07146.co.nr

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