Rs 30

●
AUGUST (SECOND) 2009
WOMAN ’S ERA AUGUST (SECOND) 2009
●
●
●
●
●
●

●
●
● ●
●
● ●
● ●
●
 AUGUST (SECOND) 2009
Vol 36, Issue No. 857
CONTENTS
BUILDS HAPPY HOMES
Founder: Vishwa Nath
(1917-2002)
womansera.com

80

6
STAY TOGETHER BUT 11
JODHAA AKBAR
JEWELLERYGLITTERED!
Venkateshwarlu Kolluru

STAND APART ENERGY LEECHE

Suman Bajpai Suniti Kharbanda
124
ARTICLES
26 THE BOON OF PRE-
MARRIAGE COUNSELLING
Suman Bajpai
30 ROMANCE OF THE
PAINTINGS OF RAJASTHAN ERRATIC SCHEDULES
Kusum Mehta A. C.Tuli
70 A BURNING
NATIONAL ISSUE 122 MONKEY’S
Anil Merani PRECAUTIONS TO
72 THE GREEN WORLD
Dr Alka Singh 22 POISON
K. M. Sharma

88 WHY MORE AND MORE DAD’S THE WORD! 126 PANDIT RONU
Mita Banerjee
WOMEN ARE DRINKING MAJUMDAR
Aruna Anand Subhra Majumdar
62
90 AN ARTIST WITH 128 PASSPORT TO AT HER
DISTINCTION: SRUSHTI NOWHERE CURVACEOUS
Gayatri T. Rao Neha Kirpal
BEST
94 PAINTING WOMEN 136 SETTING UP A
OF TODAY PERFECT GUEST ROOM
Our Correspondent Bhavna Keswani

116 VIRAL HEPATITIS 36

Rachna Pande

118 KABINI THE PERFECT

MONSOON MAKE-UP
LIGHT AND SHEER
COOKERY
GETAWAY FOR NATURE Suman Bajpai
LOVERS 46 WAYS TO SERVE RICE
● Sweet Canapes
powder
4 tsp cocoa
10-12 tsp water or sauce
chocolate syrup

Barry Smith METHOD

Preheat oven. cake
three small
round
Line

parchme nt

● Rainbow Rice
pans with flour, baking
paper. Combine in a bowl. Beat
Italian twisters
powder, soda milk in a
condense d
butter and mixer
with an electric and
large bowl the flour mixer
until fluffy. Add Pour
d enough water
and beat well.
a medium ITALIAN

Rice Coriander Soup

Novel metho batter into

FICTION
●
half of the
TWISTERS
remaining batter into
Pizza swirls
for making them.a
bowl. Spoon melted
bag. Stir into
a plastic
or cocoa powder INGREDIENTS:
By Savita Bhargav
whirls
Peanut choco
mozarella cheese chocolate
spoon into another 11/4 cups flour
1 cup grated batter in bowl, in
pasta sauce Cut 1/2-1”
opening 1 tbsp butter
1/2 cup prepared plastic bag. bag. Pipe 3 1/2 tsp sugar

TASTY SNACKS
corner of each of yellow
PEANUT
Tacho Rice
METHOD yeast bottom g rings 1/2 tsp salt

●
sugar and even alternatin
Mix the milk, until yeast batters into 11/2 tsp dry yeast (instant)
CHOCO in a bowl.
Let stand
flour, salt and
butter and
chocolate
pans, two
beginning
edge 1/4 cup warm
milk

WHIRLS essence. Form into

a
foams. Place
in another
bowl. Mix in
form into
the yeast prepared
a soft with
chocolate
rings along
beginning
with a 1 tsp dried
pan and one for about 20-25 1 tbsp grated
mixed herbs
cheese
the vanilla water. mixture and covered of
INGREDIENTS: using cold the dough ring. Bake
flour soft dough in plastic, dough. Keep again, yellow y. Place METHOD salt,
85 gm refined 1/3 cup sugar a disc, wrap in size. Knead Cool completel butter, sugar,
Mix the flour,

Mango Rice Kheer

Shape into on
powder lemon rind an hour. Roll out minutes.with chocolate edge a cheese.

●
1/2 tsp baking 1 tsp grated for at least till double herbs and
it in two. layer with yeast, mixed a
3 tsp cocoa
powder 1/4 tsp salt
refrigerate
flour in a
baking and divide a floured a spread top milk and prepare
Grease and and pat square on serving plate, sauce, repeat with Add the warm
85 gm butter 6 tbsp cold
butter dough on it dough to a pasta sauce over Take small
portions,
sugar essence sheet. Place circle, forming of
a
surface. Spread pasta reasoning little
chocolate
layer, then soft dough. and on a
3 tbsp castor 1 tsp vanilla into a 10 inch a little ged Take two rolls
1/2 tsp vanilla essence 3/4 cup mixed
fruit jam Pierce bottom in it. Sprinkle Roll yellow-edchocolate-edged layer. roll them. surface, twist
high edge. of the cheese. lightly floured Place these
1/4 cup shelled
peanuts juice with a fork.
Bake on it and half to enclose
remaining
melted chocolate
.
1 tsp lemon dough all over about 25
style Top with them together.
sugar d oven for dough swiss-rollcross-wise into 1 on prepared
2 tbsp icing

Broccoli Pulao
cherries or roll bread sticks Press down
whipped cream a pre-heate

●
till slightly browned.in a filling. Cut on a
METHOD sweetened minutes or Place slices baking sheets. to prevent
flour, baking (optional) lemon juice inch slice. sheet or tray.
Sift together powder. Beat ice cream Melt jam with over low heat baking edges slightly Bake
unravelling.

16 ARE YOU A GODDESS?

greased
powder and
cocoa
together METHOD saucepan golden brown twists from
castor sugar flour, almonds,a small e. Bake until Transfer to brown. Serve
butter and in the Mix together in until spreadabl cup jam mixture about 15 minutes. and serve until golden
and creamy. Beat lemon rind and salt 1/2 the dish
till pale essence. sugar, and Spread warm.
and vanilla in the butter of shell. Arrange a serving
flour mixture bag large bowl. Mix over bottom remaining immediately.
in a piping Brush with
Put the mixture star nozzle and fruit on top.
N
CINNAMO
large
fitted with a baking jam mixture.
on greased
CHECK COFFEE CAKE
pipe whirls Place a peanut

48 TASTY SNACKS
sheets or trays.of each whirl.
in the centre moderately
in a PIZZA BOARD CAKE INGREDIENTS:flour
SWIRLS
Sunanda Ramachandra
Then bake
until set. Cool INGREDIENTS: d milk 11/3 cup refined
hot oven, sugar
the biscuits,
serve dusted INGREDIENTS: 200 gm condense
1/2 cup granulated
(maida)
with icing sugar. 21/2 cups flour 140 gm maida 1/2 cup butter milk
2 tbsp butter butter oil
60 gm melted cake 1/3 cup refined
1 tsp sugar essence Check board
1 tsp vanilla

GLAZED
1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp soda
3 tsp dry yeast 1 tsp baking
powder
August (Second)
2009

PLUM TART
●
1/2 cup warm milk Woman’s Era

● Peanut Choco Whirls

reasoning
2 tsp pasta
INGREDIENTS: flour Glazed plum
tart
11/3 cups refined

38 WHERE HAVE
almonds
1/2 cup finely ground ● August
(Second) 2009
Woman’s Era

ALL THE GIRLS GONE?
Kasturi Rangachari
74 THE IMPRINT (PART-II)
Kumud Bhatnagar
60
● Glazed Plum Tart
● Pizza Swirls ● Sweet ‘N’ Spicy
● Check Board Cake Pakoras
THE ART OF ● Italian Twisters ● Twice Baked Potatoes
BARGAINING ● Cinnamon Coffee ● Baked Sandwiches
Ashutosh Rawal Cake ● Baked Crispy Stars
 20
FASHION NEWS IN
PICTURES

14 THE INCIDENT
I CANNOT FORGET
53 MY MOST
82
UNFORGETTABLE CULTIVATE
EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE THE PAT-ON-
THE-BACK
125 GRATEFULLY YOURS TECHNIQUE
130 NEIGHBOURS ALL 84 Shantha Nagarajan

132 CROSSWORD BOMBAY FILMDOM

141 BABY CLUB
146 AS YOU SAY FEATURES
18 AN ODE TO WHAT 97 PERSONAL PROBLEM
ONCE WAS (Poem)
140 KITCHEN QUERIES
19 BEAUTY QUERIES
142 CLASSIFIEDS
59 MY FAMILY,
MY FRIENDS AND ME...
66 THE FIRST SHOWER READERS’
(Poem) CONTESTS
67 YOUR BODY FILL UP THE Page

54 44 79 NEW LAUNCHES
CROSSWORD
AND WIN RS 15,000
132

FANCIFUL FLIGHT IMAGINATIVELY 93 CAMPUS RUMPUS EVERY FORTNIGHT

OF BEAUTY ARTISTIC

Editor, Publisher & Printer
PARESH NATH
Printed at Delhi Press Samachar
Patra Pte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad,
Ghaziabad and Delhi Press,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110 055 and published
on behalf of Delhi Press Patra
Prakashan Pte Ltd. from
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110 055.
E-mail: admin@womansera.com
EDITORIAL,
ADVERTISEMENT &
PUBLICATION OFFICE
Delhi Press Building,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
Rani Jhansi Marg,
New Delhi-110 055.
Phone: 41398821, 41398888.
Fax: 91-11-23625020
The names of characters used in all
fiction and semi-fiction articles are
fictitious.
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd.
New Delhi-110 055.
India.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENT
DEPARTMENT
M-12, Connaught Circus,
New Delhi-110 001.
Phone: 011-23416313.
OFFICES
Ahmedabad: 503, Narayan
Chambers, Ashram Road,
Ahmedabad-380 009.
Phone: 079-26577845.
Bangalore: Delhi Press
No. 21, G-3, H.V.S. Court,
Cunningham Road, Bangalore-52
Ph: 22267233
Kolkata: Poddar Point,
113, Park Street, Kolkata-700 016.
Phone: 033-22298981
Kochi: G-7, Pioneer Towers 1,
Marine Drive, Kochi-682 031.
Phone: 0484-2371537.
ISSN 0971-1503
No article, story, photo or any
other matter can be reproduced
from this magazine without written
permission.
This copy is sold on the condition that
jurisdiction for all disputes concerning
sale, subscription and published matter
will be forums/tribunals at Delhi.
Lucknow: B-G/3, 4, Sapru Marg,
Lucknow-226001.
Phone: 0522-2218856,
Chennai: 14, Cison’s Complex,
Montieth Road, Chennai-600 008.
Phone: 044-28554448
Mumbai: A-4, Shriram Industrial
Estate, GD Ambedkar Marg,
Wadala, Mumbai-400 031,
Ph: 022-24101192,
24122661, 24113970.
Patna: 111, Ashiana Towers,
Exhibition Road,
Patna-800 001,
Phone: 0612-2685286,
Secunderabad: 122, Chenoy
Trade Centre, 116, Park Lane,
Secunderabad-500 003.
Phone: 040-27896947
Self-addressed stamped
envelopes must be enclosed
with all manuscripts,
otherwise the rejected
material will not be returned.
No responsibility is assumed
for material submitted for
publication.
Bhopal: 12-B Maharana Pratap
Nagar, Zone-I, Bhopal-462011
Phone: 2573057, 3954124
Jaipur: Geetanjali Tower, Shop No.
114, Opp. Vyas Hospital Ajmer Road,
Jaipur 302 006. Phone: 3296580
Title WOMAN’S ERA registered
with Government of India as trade
mark.
RATES: Inland
1 copy Rs 30
1 year annual subscription: Rs 650.
International Subscription
Air Mail: US $ 100 (One Year)
US $ 190 (Two Years)
US $ 270 (Three Years)
Sea Mail: US $ 34 (One Year)
Subscription amount, in any
currency equivalent to US $ as
mentioned above may be
remitted through credit card,
cheque, bank draft or money
order payable at
New Delhi, drawn in favour of:
Delhi Prakashan Vitran Pte Ltd
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-55.
www.womansera.com
 EDITORIAL
ALL FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING
T
here are thousands of such sports persons, who
chose sports other than cricket and tennis and
then lived in anonymity, courtesy general apathy
prevailing in our country towards sports.
Recently, a call girl was arrested in Raipur, the
capital of Chhattisgarh. Investigation revealed that she
was actually a national-level volleyball player from Asam
and had been married to a sportsman. The couple had a
daughter too and they were expecting to be employed
with railways in sports quota. But the railways did not
respond to their applications for years and the couple
struggled for a living. Their tragedy did not end here.
The husband met untimely death and the wife found
herself all alone eking a humble living. Her ordeals
perhaps would have ended had the railways, or some
other capable employer absorbed her under sports
quota. But nobody came forward.
Now, she has been caught red-handed
working as a call girl. Of course, the law will
take its course, she will be sermonised
about morality and all that. But nobody will
look into the causes that drove her to sell
her body for a living.
Our governments pretend to promote
sports. After every Olympics, sports is
made a compulsory subject in schools.
Sports events begin to be organised amid
much fanfare. But then everything becomes
‘normal’. Recently, even a pet dog of a
noted Indian cricketer became newsmaker.
But there are no tears in the eyes of the
officials for the sports woman turned call girl.
PROBING ONE MORE COLONIAL-ERA LAW
S
ection 375 of Indian Penal Code (IPC) presumes
that a 16-year-old girl is mature enough, both
physically and mentally, so as to give her consent
to a man to establish physical relationship with her.
Hold on, this section was framed about 150 years ago
and much waters have flown since then in the Ganges
and Yamuna. So does such a legal permission hold
any meaning in modern context? Lucknow bench of
Allahabad High Court has precisely put the same
question before the UP Government and UPA
Government at the centre.
Justice V D Chaturvedi has issued notices asking if
both the governments agree to raise this age limit to 18
years. Both the governments have to file their replies
by 31 August.
Meanwhile, a healthy debate can be started about
the relevance of several British-period laws contained
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
in IPC. For example, the above-mentioned section was
framed when the British were ruling India. Most of the
British officers and soldiers had not brought their
families with them. In order to satisfy their carnal lust,
they would ruthlessly target young Indian girls. It was
only to provide a legal umbrella to such immoral officials
that the Section 375 was introduced in IPC.
Obviously, the social structure of that time did not
allow the girls to fight for their causes.
But now, India is independent. It is high time that all
such antiquated laws be dumped into the Indian ocean.
In their place, new laws must be framed that guarantee
to protect fundamental rights of the girls in particular.
POWERFUL CASTE PANCHAYATS
I
ndia is a country of the villages, it is said. We have
been living in this nostalgia since long. Overtime,
however, villages segregated on the basis of
religions and even religions divided into
castes and creeds. Whether this
segregation has done any good to our
society is not known, but its ill-effects have
been surfacing from time to time.
Latest is the case from a village in Jind
district of Haryana. A youth went boldly
against the wishes of elders and married a
girl Sonia of the same village. The real
problem arose only after it became known
that they both belonged to the same gotra
and as such, were siblings.
Enraged caste panchayat (Khap)
banished the boy and his family from the
village. The girl was forcibly separated and
confined in her parent’s home. Some days later, the boy
took another bold decision and approached the Punjab
& Haryana High Court in Chandigarh and appealed for
the recovery of his bride.
The Hon’ble High Court did assist him and asked the
State Government to execute the wishes of the boy.
Consequently, the state Government sent a police force
with the boy to get his bride released. But the villagers
not only stymied the police force but also lynched the
boy for his ‘sin’. Had the boy eloped with the girl and
settled in some city, everything would have become
normal. But he preferred to stay in the village. He was
killed to save the honour of the village. The incident also
highlights how hapless our courts have become. They
issue orders but nobody honours them. Orders of
clearing encroachment are other examples. India is
poised to become a superpower. But our orthodox caste
system is pulling her downward. Certainly, we need to
come out of this mire first, and shed our age-old caste
reservations. write to: letters@womansera.com We
5
 STAY
TOGETHER
BUT
STAND APART
Let there be spaces in your
togetherness. And let the winds
of the heavens dance
between you. By Suman Bajpai
ou don’t love me any -

“Y
more?” She suddenly
asked her husband.
“What makes you ask
this stupid question?
Of course, I love you.”
“Then why do you
spend time in the
study instead of
spending with
me?” “Because I like reading
and while chatting with you it
is not possible to concentrate.”
“That means you don’t like my
company,” she kept on nagging
him.
“I need to spend some time on
my own, it is important for both of
us. I never interfere in your
personal spaces, do I?”
“What do you want to hide
from me? There is nothing
personal between us, we are
married.”
“Please leave me alone. Give me
some space to grow,” he shouted
back and shut himself in the study.
Do you give space to your
partner? Remember that he or she
had a life before meeting you. Give
your partner some space to live the
way he or she wants. Don’t demand
total attention and companionship at
all the times. You will never have a
break-up if you let the other person
live life as he or she wants.
Kahlil Gibran had said, “Let there
be spaces in your togetherness. And
let the winds of the heavens dance
between you. And stand together, yet
not too near together, for the pillars of
the temple stand apart, and the oak
tree and the cypress grow not in each
other’s shadow.”
Couples who do everything
together miss putting important
spaces in their togetherness so that
new, separate growth can occur.
Without new growth and fresh input
from each person, a relationship can
stagnate and lack liveliness. It’s
important for each spouse to have
some time alone to pursue individual
interests or enjoy being in privacy.
When you crowd your partner and
don’t give him or her breathing room,
you run the risk of asphyxiating the
very relationship that is most
important to you.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
According to Dr Deepak Raheja
head of psychiatry, Paras Hospitals,
“There is a popular misconception
about romantic love and other ‘close’
relationships that two people need to
be together all the time, share every
single thing and do everything
together to establish intimacy. This
is a dangerous myth that enables
people to classify relationships as
‘close’ or ‘distant’, leading to
complete breakdown in relationships
in some cases. The truth is that not
being able to live without someone
and ‘merging together’ makes for
good lyrics in romantic songs but
contributes little to the health of a
relationship.”
Famous danseuse Geeta
Chandran explains in this way,
“Space is a very vague term, so you
can’t define it and above all each
person, each couple is different and
because of this you can’t standardise
it. In the relationship you can’t be
claiming every inch of space or make
a layer on others identity.”
When you’re married, the
boundaries between yourself and
your spouse aren’t always clear. For
some people, marriage brings the
expectation of spending as much
time as possible with a spouse and
doing most things together. In this
model of marriage, the two people COUPLES WHO DO
generally function as a single unit in
thoughts and actions. Love does not
EVERYTHING TOGETHER
mean dissolving all boundaries MISS PUTTING
between each other. It means
acknowledging that there are IMPORTANT SPACES IN
boundaries and being able to
communicate despite them.
THEIR TOGETHERNESS
Setting boundaries is essential if SO THAT NEW,
we want to be both physically and
emotionally healthy. Strong bound - SEPARATE GROWTH
aries help maintain balance, self-
respect and allow us to be interde-
CAN OCCUR. WITHOUT
pendent in intimate relationships. A NEW GROWTH AND
lack of boundaries is like leaving the
door to your home wide open, FRESH INPUT FROM
anyone, including welcome and
unwelcome guests can walk in
EACH PERSON,
without hesitation. Having rigid A RELATIONSHIP CAN
boundaries leads to loneliness and
isolation and is akin to living in a STAGNATE AND LACK
fortress with no opening in sight. You
can’t get out and no one can
LIVELINESS. IT’S
penetrate your walls. This leads to IMPORTANT FOR EACH
problems in intimacy in significant
relationships. Unhealthy boundaries SPOUSE TO HAVE
cause us deep emotional pain that
can lead to dependency, depression,
SOME TIME ALONE TO
anxiety and physical illness. PURSUE INDIVIDUAL
When you do not have healthy,
distinct personal boundaries, you INTERESTS OR ENJOY
may try to change your spouse to be
more like you want him/her to be to
BEING IN PRIVACY.
meet your needs and expectations.
In so doing, you are dishonouring
your partner and are not respecting
his/her unique individuality and right
to make choices. You are also failing
to provide protected space so that
your spouse’s individual growth and
potential can flourish.
“Personal boundaries are limits or
borders that define where you end
and others begin. Your personal
boundary is defined by the amount
of physical and emotional space you
allow between yourself and your
partner. Personal boundaries also
help you decide what types of
communication, behaviour and
interaction you accept from others.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 7
The type of boundaries you set
defines whether you have healthy or
unhealthy relationships,” explains Dr
Deepak.
GIVE SPACE
Geeta Chandran makes it clear
that, “Everybody needs a profess -
ional space because the interests of
two people are usually different; they
need space to accomplish their
dreams and aspirations. People of
two different worlds sceptically live
12 hours on their own, so they
require a breathing space, otherwise
it piles up the bitterness which in long
run creates misunderstanding and
pang of separation. I and my
husband share a Renowned fashion designer Vidhi
common interest,
so we share
common space
more rather than
separate space.”
She believes
in demo cratic
type of relation-
ship. “Ours is kind
of democratic
relationship based
on friendship. We were
friends before marriage
and basis of friendship
lies in the fact that
each one will not make
a demand. There is
no ownership factor,
amongst us and we
take interest in
each other’s things, without
overlapping on each others identity,”
she further adds.
Relationships between people
who love and nurture themselves first
yield a sense of respect and intimacy
that cannot easily happen when one
person tries to ‘fix it’ for the other. “A
‘clingy’, enmeshed relationship can
soon choke each partner’s sense of
individuality and drive two people
away from each other. The beauty of
a relationship lies in two people
uniting in respect for each other’s
uniqueness and learning to provide
one another an opportunity to grow
separately as individuals, in addition
to evolving as a couple,” suggests Dr
Raheja.
Singhania feels the necessity of
space in the relationship. She says,
“In my view giving space to your
partner is very important because
space and trust are two imperative
pillars of the married life. They are
like two supportive pillars which need
to stand apart to strengthen the
relationship. Otherwise a situation of
claustrophobia comes and gradually
weakens the bond. You need the
space to think, to opine and to create
and in that matter I am very lucky that
I get enough of it but I don’t think it is
true in my husband’s case.”
Preserving a marriage or any
intimate relationship for that matter, is
a lot like building and maintaining a
warm, romantic fire. As long as you
tend it – throwing in a few logs and
stirring the flaming ashes every now
and then – the fire will keep you
comfy. But neglect it for too long and
the flame will sputter out, leaving
nothing more than a frigid fireplace
full of burnt ashes.
OPENNESS IN
RELATIONSHIP
Counsellor Jyotsna Swaroop of
Relationship forever.com feels, “It is
important to have space in any sort of
relationship, be it personal or
professional. To beautify the bond it
is important to spend quality time
together, but it is equally important
to give space to each other too so
that both can survive with full liberty.
People in a happy relationship
always don’t cling to each other all
the time; they do give space to each
other. Too much of togetherness can
at times bring cramps in life. You
don’t have to be together all the time
to keep your relationship intact. Be
together yet give space to each
other.”
All of us need time in aloofness to
understand and know ourselves
better, to do the things we enjoy. It is
only then we can be our individual
self, in love with ourselves and our
partners. Becoming a slave to love
can lead to dependency which is
another relationship killer. When you
begin to care for yourself, your
contentment may intrigue your
partner enough to draw him back.
There should be openness in your
relationship so that both can spend
time on their own without the guilt of
ignoring each other.
Focus on your own needs as well
as your spouse’s. Do something for
yourself each day. When you fulfill
your needs, you will be able to fulfil
your partner’s as well. We

Don’t let the “go” in you be
retarded by those who come up
with discouraging ideas.
Here’s how to tackle them.
By Suniti Kharbanda
nergy is the essence of life.
E
Life without energy is not
living, but just existing. That
is why it is very important for
us, that in every moment of
our life we should have
energy and enthusiasm.
Even though most of us do
understand the need for it,
we often wonder how or
where our energy disappears when
we most need it. The secret of
energy disappearance is not far from
us. It might be your neighbour, your
servant, your friend or even your own
self who is acting as an Energy
Leech and sucking out your energy.
Once you are aware of the presence
of these Energy Leeches you will be
in a better position to deal with them.
As they say, “Forewarned is
forearmed”.
Examples of Energy Leeches that
you may face:
● Negative people: If you think
back you will recollect instances
when brimming with energy you
stepped out of the house and was
waylaid by your neighbour, Sujata.
She gave you a total recap of your
neighbourhood but in a negative
manner. “Sharmaji is having an affair
with Anita because Anita was seen
talking to him near the cinema hall.
Rekha’s children are so snooty, they
don’t even talk to their
neighbourhood children. Neera’s dog
is so ill-trained — it keeps littering the
roadside. Aarushi called us for a
meal but she’s an atrocious cook —
we all had a stomachache the next
day... so on and so forth. Her
monologue continues and by the time
you could escape from her you were
no longer fresh and enthusiastic.
Sujata’s negative thoughts had
leeched out all your happy feelings.
● Dream snatchers: These are
the category of people who cannot
see anybody flourishing. The moment
you tell them your dream they snatch
it away from you. Remember
Gurubhai’s father in the movie Guru?
A young college girl Ankita might
mention that she wants to become
an airline pilot and her cousin, the
Dream Snatcher Sarita, immediately
tells her many reasons why it is not
possible — you are too fat, your
parents will not be able to afford it,
you are not smart enough, there is a
glut of pilots... So, even before
Ankita’s dreams can take
wing, she has been grounded.
It can happen to you when your
husband gives you the drawbacks of
taking up a job or the mother-in-law
tells the daughter-in-law why she can
never be a good cook. Without
dreams you are like a wingless
butterfly.
● The “J” people (for the
uninitiated “J” stands for Jealous):
These are the Energy Leeches who
may be secretly envying you and so
always try to be one-up on you. Your
daughter may have come first in her
class and you are basking in the
glory but your colleague tells you that
in a better school she might not be
able to duplicate the feat. Or else you
get a well-deserved promotion and
your “friend” tells you that you should
have got it six months ago and
getting it now does not mean much.
Your joi de vivre dies a fast death
then because your energy has been
sucked by your “friend.” We can all
recollect occasions when we felt
good about our achievement but our
friends/neighbours/family did not feel
it was good enough or knew
somebody who was better.
● Good for nothings: This
category of Energy Leeches are
THESE ARE THE
ENERGY LEECHES WHO
MAY BE SECRETLY
ENVYING YOU AND
SO ALWAYS TRY TO BE
ONE-UP ON YOU.
themselves good for nothings and
want other people also to be in their
category. They will always be morose
and unhappy and will never
understand your enthusiasm. Their
proximity is enough to sap you of
your energy.
● The person in the mirror:
Strange though it may sound but
sometimes we ourselves are our
worst enemies. We do not have faith
in ourselves. An aspiration or a
dream is not worked at because we
feel that we will fail at it. It is good to
know your own strengths and
weaknesses and be realistic about it
but not pessimistic. Till you have
faced new situations or problems you
will not realise your potential. Your
inability to bake that perfect cake
doesn’t mean that you are incapable
and will never be able to do it. Treat
your failures as “stepping stones” and
not “stopping stones”.
However, there are some time
tested ways to overcome these
human leeches but only when you
recognise the energy-sucking
situations and want to do something
about it. These are some of the good
ways.
● Positive people: This is the
first and foremost way. In your
acquaintances and friends, identify
positive people who “give” rather than
take. They give their time, energy,
affection, advice and through their
pleasantness make you feel that the
world is good and that you are
good. They give positive
suggestions and radiate a
positive energy and aura. Just
look around for these people
who have a pleasant word to
exchange with you. Meet them
often to replenish your depleted
energy.
● Smile: Even at the cost of
sounding cliched, your “smile is your
best armour”. When confronted with
the good-for-nothings or the negative
people, smile. Faced with a smile,
these Energy Leeches feel helpless
because they realise that all their
efforts have gone in vain and that
there is no point in pulling down the
person further as it is not making any
difference.
● Avoid: Another good way is
after identifying such Energy Leeches
— avoid them. When you see your
negative neighbour “Sujata” or the
dream snatcher “Sarita” coming from
across the road to meet you, smile
and wave but tell her you are in a
hurry and cannot stop to chat now.
● Tell firmly: Sometimes, it is
not possible to avoid these Energy
Leeches because they may be
related to you or may be your
colleague at office.
Tell them politely but firmly that
you appreciate their concern about
your love life/cooking skills/job
prospects/looks but are not willing to
discuss it as you are sensitive to it.
Better to be firm once than suffer
every time you meet and the
sensitive topic creeps up.
Mistaken Identity
I had been to my aunt’s place last
year. They were on the lookout for a
bride for her grandson. While I was
there, they received a proposal and
the girl’s uncle informed us that he
would be visiting my aunt’s house
along with the girl.
We found it awkward that he was
bringing the girl along, but my aunt
said that since the girl was working
and they were in town on a very short
visit, she probably wanted to see the
house where she was to spend her
whole life.
They came at the appointed time.
After a while my aunt dragged me to
14
● Positive campaign: However,
my favourite way is to start a positive
campaign by your own self. You
yourself should be positive about
your own self and others. Firstly
avoid being an Energy Leech
yourself. Develop your personality so
that others enjoy your company.
Have some heartwarming and
another room to ask my opinion about
the girl. I as in a dilemma as the girl
was extremely beautiful, smart and
belonged to a very decent family, but
she did look a little old for my nephew.
I did not say anything but when my
aunt voiced the same opinion, I too
nodded in agreement.
After quite a long while, during the
course of the conversation, the girl’s
uncle revealed that the lady
accompanying him was his sister – the
girl’s mother! As everyone else was
unaware of the dialogue between my
aunt and myself, they did not react, but
my aunt burst into laughter, her
advantage was that she was wearing a
saree and could cover her face and hide
her laughter, while poor me, I had no
aide and could not help laughing. The
poor guests were put in an
embarrassing position but I could not
help it.
It was after a while that I could
gather my wits. “But you look so
young, we mistook you for the girl,” I
blurted out. Fortunately the lady took it
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
positive stories and anecdotes to
share with others. Appreciate and
encourage others, even those whom
you feel are not so lovable. Do
believe in the motto life is like an
echo, it all comes back” the good, the
bad, the true and the false — so give
the world the best you have and the
best shall come back to you.
● Meditate: When nothing else
seems to work, just step back from
your life and meditate. Meditation
here means to be alone with your
own self. Think about your reasons
for feeling unhappy or let down. If the
reason lies with your own self, try and
improve. However, if the cause is
someone else, decide which of the
above strategies will work best to
counter the energy sapped from you.
So, from today, just keep your
eyes and ears open to identify these
energy sucking Leeches and after
that banish them from your presence.
Happy energy-filled life ahead! We
as a compliment and I was spared
from the rebuke I would have
received from others for creating
such an embarrassing situation for
the guests!
– Rupal Chhaya, Ahmedabad.
Has something
happened in your life
that has left an indelible
impression on your mind? Some
experience that gladdens your heart
or which makes you shudder with
pain or embarrassment even after
years! Why not share it with the
readers of Woman’s Era? All
published incidents will be paid
Rs 200. Send your entries to:
THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET
E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
Name:
Mobile:
E-mail:
 Are You a Goddess?
To her mother-in-law Sandhya is a goddess. Why?
By Sunanda Ramachandra

M
other, please come and stay with me. I her heart full of sorrow. She had virtually lost her
have a good house and great job and son, she thought.
have servants to look after the house,” After a few days of her marriage, Sandhya came
Raghav begged. “No, my dear child,” along with Raghav to their village. She requested
said Krishnadevi. “I cannot leave your her mother-in-law to come along with them to
father’s house. That big entrance door one Cuttack, but Krishnadevi obstinately refused.
day welcomed me into this family and also Days passed, Krishnadevi wove silk saris and got
bid farewell to your father when you were only 10 them sold. But now her eyesight was dim. She was
years old. I have my fond memories, my dear. I will not able to see distinctly. But she still did not think of
not be able to move anywhere at this age.” moving to her son’s place.
Raghav pleaded but to no avail. His mother had One day, as she had just finished her weaving
brought him up with great hardship after his father and was about to wash herself, she suddenly heard
died early. His mother learnt weaving saris a bang on her door. She opened it and to
and took up the occupation. Though it was Krishnadevi her surprise, there stood a woman about to
not a flourishing business, her mother’s was speechless. fall on the ground.
hard labour made them survive in the ‘A woman’s “Aunty, please give me something to
world. He had now joined the civil services condition is eat. I am very hungry,” said the woman.
and been posted as the district magistrate always “Come in, “Krishnadevi said.” Wash
of Cuttack. pathetic,’ she your feet and hands. I will see what I can
Krishnadevi was never born in or thought. give you.” She gave her some rice she had
married into a weaver’s family, but took up Kokila was made earlier as she had not started her
the occupation to survive and bring up her very tired. She cooking. “What is your name?” she asked.
only child. She could never beg to slept as soon as “My name is Kokila,” said the stranger
anybody even if she had to survive without she had woman. My husband beat me and drove
food for days. But now when her son finished the me out of the house for another woman
wanted her to stay with him, she was food and and hence, I am moving from place to
happy...happy that she could now enjoy cleaned the place without knowing what to do.
her remaining days at her son’s place. She vessels. “Okay, Kokila, you eat your food and
was about to approve of his son’s request, take rest. Afterwards, we will go to your
when she shivered at a thought that all of a sudden husband’s place and discuss with him.”
generated in her brain... What would happen if her “That will be of no use, aunty. I could not bear a
daughter-in-law throws her out of her house, ill treats child, so no one in my husband’s family wants me.
her etc, etc? So she decided to stay back in her They made him marry a second time and threw me
village. out.”
After a few months, Raghav married Sandhya Krishnadevi was speechless. ‘A woman’s
who was once studying along with him. She was the condition is always pathetic,’ she thought. Kokila
daughter of an IAS officer. Krishnadevi was happy was very tired. She slept as soon as she had finished
when her son got married, at the same time was sad the food and cleaned the vessels. Then the day gave
at the status of her daughter-in-law. She cried with way to night and the moon shone brightly. “Kokila,

16 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

get up, have some food,” Krishnadevi called out to
her.
“Sorry, aunty, I slept.” Kokila got up and said.
Both of them had their food and as Krishnadevi
was getting ready to clean the vessels, Kokila
snatched them and sat down to clean them. “Aunty,
do you not have any children/husband? I did not
see anybody,” enquired Kokila.
“I have a son at Cuttack. He is married and
happily settled,” Krishnadevi answered.
Kokila did not ask anything further. Days turned
to nights and nights to days. Krishnadevi grew fond
of Kokila. Kokila helped Krishnadevi in all the
household work. Slowly, she took care of the entire
work in the house. She also learnt weaving and
helped Krishnadevi in weaving. She took great care
of Krishnadevi when she fell ill.
Life went on. Then, one day, Krishnadevi heard a
knock on her door early in the morning. Kokila
opened the door.
“Who is it, Kokila? Krishnadevi asked.
“Namskar, mother,” Sandhya and your son have
come to see you, it has been long since we met,”
said Raghav.
Krishnadevi was very happy to see her son. “How
are you, my son?” she cried.
“I am fine, mother,” Raghav replied.
Both Raghav and Sandhya touched her feet and
she blessed them.
“Kokila, give them some water and make some
tea,” she ordered.
They talked and talked and again Raghav asked
Krishnadevi to come with them.
“Don’t worry son. I now have Kokila, and she is
of great help to me,” said Krishnadevi and went into
the kitchen to bring some water. As she entered, she
overheard the conversation? “Didi, are you okay?
How are you able to manage the work? I have been
working for you all the
years, first at your
father’s place and now
SHORT
STORY
at your place. Besides, the servants are not
very cooperative.”
“Don’t worry, Kokila. I am managing
somehow. You concentrate here. Tell me,
are you taking good care of my mother-in-
law or not?
“Yes, didi, she is very nice. She also
takes care of me...”
Krishnadevi was taken aback. ‘Kokila
has been sent by Sandhya so that she can
take care of me,’ she thought. How good
this girl is and how mean I am! she prayed.
“Okay, Mother, we are going. Please
take care of yourself, Kokila take care. Call us if
here is any requirement,” Raghav said as he started
to go back.
Raghav and Sandhya took her blessings and
raced off in a car as Krishnadevi stood at the door
for hours, remembering the childhood days of
Raghav. Both are very nice persons. Sandhya has a
heart of gold. I am so proud I am her mother-in-
law?” her inner voice choked.
“Aunty, what are you weaving? It is turning out to
be very beautiful,” enquired Kokila.
Yes, I want to weave the best sari of my life,” said
Krishnadevi. “You just see how it looks after it is
over.”
But what is this aunty? Why are you weaving at
night. Your eyes will get spoiled. Some days back
you were complaining you were not able to see
properly. “I want to weave the best sari before I die,
my dear,” explained Krishnadevi.
“Mother, what is this, I told you to stop weaving,
but you are so adamant. You have spoiled your
eyes. Only when Kokila telephoned, I came to
know,” said Raghav with grief. “Come on, we will
go to the doctor. “Krishnadevi obediently went
along with Raghav. She had
become half blind now and she
wanted to get back her
eyesight.
“We have to operate on
her,” said the doctor.
“But doctor, will I be
okay?” Krishnadevi
enquired.”
“Oh yes, very
much. Within one
month you can see
clearly, but you
should not strain
your eyes.”
Krishnadevi
stayed with her son and daughter-in-law. “Mother, where are you. How
They took very good care of her. Suddenly, Krishnadevi are your eyes?” Raghav shouted while
one day, Krishnadevi said, she wanted to was taken entering.” What are you doing? Again
go back to her village. aback. ‘Kokila weaving!
“But why mother? Are you not happy has been sent “No my son, I have stopped weaving. In
here?” by Sandhya so fact I have finished weaving the last sari of
“I am my son, but I have to go.” I will that she can my life.
come to you my child, but now let me go.” take care of From now onwards I will not touch the
Krishnadevi pleaded. me,’ she loom.”
Krishnadevi and Kokila were back in the thought. “How “How are you mother?” asked Sandhya
village. Krishnadevi went to her loom, paid good this girl in a tone as sweet as a nightingale’s.
her salutations and restarted the work she is and how Very good my child. I am fine, “saying
had left unfinished. this, Krishnadevi she went inside. She
mean I am!”
“Look, Kokila, how is it?” Krishnadevi brought out the sari spread it and draped it
asked happily while showing the sari she
she prayed. over Sandhya, “Look Kokila, does she not
had made. look like a goddess? Sandhya is the real
“It is really beautiful, anybody who wears it will goddess for whom I have weaved the last and best
look like a goddess. What price will you fix, aunty? piece of work of my life,” she embraced her
exclaimed Kokila. daughter-in-law.
“I want to present it to a goddess, said “Mother, you are a goddess, not me,” said
Krishnadevi. “It is priceless. Can anybody really pay Sandhya.” You have single handedly brought up
for this, I wonder.” your son. Whatever he is today is because of your
“Kokila, go, open the door. The goddess is sacrifices, your hard labour and your struggles. Will
coming,” said Krishnadevi,, one day. you come and stay with us? Mother, please. We will
‘Who? Goddess? Which goddess? Do gods be honoured,” requested Sandhya.
really come?’ thought Kokila. “Yes, my dear, “I will, said Krishnadevi. We

AN ODE TO WHAT ONCE WAS

The moon glows bright in the sky, I don’t want this night to end,
I glance towards the heavens, let the whole world sleep
hoping to see a falling star – while I lie awake and ponder on my
I want to make a wish... I want our love to last. dreams of love.

I pick petals from a blood-red rose. The gentle breeze,

“He loves me, rustles the fallen leaves around me
He loves me not...” and I slowly begin to see, to realise,
that love, like everything else,
I sit under a waning tree, has a life of it’s own.
moonlight filters through the leaves, It has a beginning,
casting some sort of ethereal light it has an end.
Upon our love letters
which rest upon my knee. – Chetna Jivan

18 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

 QA &
Q&
I have to step out for work in the sun
and sometimes I forget the sun -
screen. Mostly, despite the
sunscreen, I feel my face looks
stressed. I can only do something
weekly. Can you suggest something
to undo the sun damage?
As you are using sunscreen, the
damage would be minimal and might
be pollution-driven. You can make a
cooling mask with a piece of
cucumber put in the blender with half
a teaspoon of honey. Leave on your
face and neck for 15 to 20 minutes
A
before washing off.
When I return from my office I feel as
though my feet are on fire. What can
I do to de-stress my feet?
Well, take enough water in a tub
to soak your feet. It should be tepid –
not too hot and not chilled either. Add
the juice of a few lemons and soak
until the water feels the same
temperature as your feet.
Rub half a teaspoon of honey on
your soles and feet and immerse
them again in cooler water. Leave for
a few minutes and wash with ordinary
water.
I am barely 17 and have the habit of
chewing my nails. I have now
reduced it greatly but find that my
cuticles are getting black. Are the two
related in any way?
It might be related if you were
pulling out at the cuticles while
chewing your nails. Consult a derma-
tologist who will be able to assess if
this is temporary discolouration which
will go away in a couple of weeks or
you need some medication. In the
meantime you can rub some gentle
cream or oil at night to provide lubri-
cation and moisture to the cuticles.
I have recently noticed crinkles
around the outer corner of my eyes.
What can I do to reduce these?
You have not mentioned your age.
Some fine lines in this region are
natural and sometimes these appear
because we tend to squint our eyes
while we work at the computer or are
out in the sun.
if you gently massage the area
with almond oil in an inward motion
and then wipe your eyes with cold
milk you will get some relief.
I have just noticed a few grey strands
in my hair and I am barely 22. I
definitely do not want to colour my
hair. What do I do?
Yes, greying hair before old age
is the bane of modern life and has
various factors right from sinus
problems to hereditary genes. You
do not need to colour your hair for a
few stray hair. However, if it bothers
you, try using henna with conditioner
as that will give it a dark orange hue.
Don’t pluck these hair or cut them
because they are often harder than
other hair and tend to show more if
they are very short.
I am 23 and have never had any skin
problem but since I got engaged
three months ago my skin erupts
regularly with pimples and zits. What
do I do as I am getting married in six
months’ time?
It seems that your engagement
has triggered some sort of stress in
your system and you need to care for
your emotions and health; skin-care
will sort itself out. Increase your water
intake.
Make a face pack of Fuller’s earth
with rose water and you can add a
pinch of cinnamon powder to it. Apply
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
all over, and more in the affected
area and wash after 15 minutes. Also
check your food pattern and if the
problem continues, consult a
dermatologist.
My daughter who is 24 has been
hankering for a tattoo and when I told
her that she might not like it after a
few years she decided to get a
temporary tattoo. Will it be safe?
A temporary tattoo is nothing more
than a skin transfer. It has a short life
like henna and would fade away. You
also get the variety that can be
removed with oil or certain
substances and they are a lot more
popular. At 24 if your daughter
decides to get even a permanent
tattoo, you will not be able to stop
her, so just help her identify a good
spot and something that is timeless
and nice.
I find that my six-year-old daughter
is constantly in front of the mirror and
wants to use make-up. What can I do
to satisfy her without harming her
skin?
It is a fact that we live in a beauty-
obsessed society. She is too young
to be allowed any make-up but you
can reward her on festivals when she
is all dressed up, with a little stick-on
bindi and maybe some lip tint. Avoid
any heavy thing like foundation or
eye colour etc.
I use make-up sparingly but lately I
feel that whenever I use make-up
within a day or so I get a rash around
my hairline around the jaw and on the
forehead. What should I do?
It is possible that the problem is
being created not by make-up but by
incorrect make-up removal. Check
the manufacturing date of your
remover and of your make-up as
well.
Ensure that when you remove
make-up no residue stays behind in
the hairline area. Use rose water on
cotton wool to give it one last wipe to
ensure that all residue has been
removed.
19
 Real or reality show
Reality television star Rakhi Sawant (L) announces her
engagement to Toronto-based Elesh Parujanwala (R), whom she
chose from 16 eligible bachelors, at the conclusion of the
series ‘Rakhi Ka Swayamvar’ at Hotel Leela Kempinski in
Mumbai on August 2, 2009. The show hosted by NDTV
Imagine enjoyed highest viewership rating.

Flower show
A girl carries a
traditional ‘silleta’
Digital camera (flower
arrangement)
A Panasonic new stylish
compact digital camera ‘Lumix during a
DMC - ZXI on display at the parade of
company’s showroom in Tokyo. Flower
The camera features the world’s Festival in
thinnest lens in the compact Medellin,
lens unit. We need to compete Antiquia
with Japan earnestly. department,
Colombia.
With so much
flowers
growing in
India, why can’t
we organise such
events?

The robot-suit
Japan’s robotics venture Cyberdyne employees
wearing the robot-suit ‘HAL’ (Hybrid Assistive
Limb) walk on a street in Tokyo for the
demonstration. The robot-suit can help assist the
disabled and the aged. When can we see such
technological advances in our own country?
 In Today’s
love style
Deepika Padukone
charms customers while
autographing jersies
during a promotion for the
movie “Aaj Kal Love” at
Reliance Trend in
Mumbai on July 31, 2009.

Progress by leaps and bounds

Artists perform at the Grove in Los
Angeles on August 2, 2009 to celebrate
the 25th anniversary of the Cirque du
Soleil. The Cirque du Soleil is a
Canadian entertainment company based
in Montreal. It expanded rapidly through
90s and the new century, going from one
show to approximately 3,500 employees
from over 40 countries. India too has
such talents. It needs only exposure.
Miss universe finalist
Here is Japan’s finalist for the
Miss Universe pageant, Emiri
Miyasaka, wearing a kimono
costume at a party in Tokyo. Now,
she has modified her kimono
which exposed her hot-pink
underwear which had triggered a
storm of protest. How does it
compare with our Miss India
pageant?

The Citroen 2 CV cars

The Citroen 2 CV cars are parked at a camp during the 18th International
meeting of Citroen car fans at the hippodrom in Most, North Bohemia, some
100 km from Prague. Mr Ratan Tata, please take note.
DAD’S THE WORD!
Here’s what’s good about dads parenting kids.
By Mita Banerjee
Sigmund Freud said, “I cannot
think of any need in childhood as
strong as the need for a father’s
protection.”
t’s been the traditional thing,
I
carried down from the Stone
Age. The father goes out to
work. He’s responsible for
putting food on the table. As
far as his kids are concerned
he is the ‘provider’ and
occasionally the
‘disciplinarian’. Don’t we still
remember with a shiver those
terrifying words from our mothers,
“Wait till your father comes home and
sees this”?
Moms have always been the
‘nurturers’ – swabbing a snotty nose,
applying healing balm to a scraped
knee, dishing up tempting meals, and
generally being around the home all
day long.
Enter the New-Age father. Strong
and self-confident, but also with a
caring, sensitive side. The 21st-
century hetero-sexual father has a
whole lot more on his plate than just
bringing home the bacon and
administering the occasional whacks
with his cane. And research proves
that more hands-on parenting by the
father has a positive effect on a
child’s growth.
New studies claim that children
whose fathers play a big part in their
upbringing are likely to be more
intelligent and more successful
socially. In her book, Fatherhood
Reclaimed , researcher Adrienne
Burgess points that stay-at-home
fathers bring up children who do
better than those with housewife
mothers. A lack of involvement with
their fathers between the ages of
seven and 11 can lead to
delinquency in boys. Girls are more
likely to suffer anorexia and bulimia.
Both sexes are likely to drink and
take to drugs as adolescents.
 Says psychiatrist Mina Bobdey,
“Often, in the absence of the father –
for various reasons whether work,
emotional absence, or separation –
single mothers find it very difficult to
bring up a child. It’s like a bullock
pulling a cart with one wheel. The
balance of a child’s emotional and
physical life is affected, the sense of
direction can be lost, resulting in
depression, addiction, or playing
truant.”
While single parent Anju Sachdev
has brought up her daughter Sheetal
without any such negative results,
she does admit the problems facing
life without a dad. “There were
financial and societal pressures.
When I took Sheetal for admission to
school, we felt alone and helpless
when we saw other children coming
in with both their parents. Later, when
I had to attend parent-teacher
meetings, the teacher would
emphasise that ‘both’ parents had to
attend. Sheetal also went into a mild
depression when her friends talked
about their fathers. When the time
came for her higher education, I
wished I had a partner with whom I
could discuss what was best for her. I
also felt the lack of a father when I
was looking for a matrimonial match
for her. Most families would look
askance at my divorcee status – a
‘maybe-her-character-is-bad’ sort of
look.”
DAD’S PARENTING STYLE
Counsellor Niloufer Ebrahim fully
sympathises with this state of affairs,
saying, “Having another adult’s input
is always very helpful. One person
can go wrong. Having another adult
around also means more healthy
inputs. Besides, each parent has a
different equation with the child, and
each can provide different
stimulation, drive and set of values.”
HR consultant Neelima Mukherjee
fully agrees, saying, “In the initial
years of our marriage, my husband
Amitabh was too busy with his career
to give much time to the kids. I took
on the role of both mom and dad. But
now, Amitabh carries on a private
consultancy from home, and his
24
greater participation with the kids has
resulted in many positive changes.
VANDANA REMEMBERS
There is more music in the house, he WITH PRIDE THAT IT
has upped their reading habit, and WAS HER PAPA WHO
there is a marked improvement in TAUGHT HER TO SWIM,
their vocabulary. Besides, with his
quirky sense of humour there is more
TO RIDE A CYCLE AND
laughter in the house. I too, feel more THEN TO DRIVE A
relaxed, knowing that he’s around to SCOOTER FOLLOWED
help.” BY A CAR.
Many ‘father’ researchers are also
intrigued by the fact that dads have a
different parenting style from moms.
Whereas mothers tend to soothe and
calm down heir children, fathers like
to excite and stimulate them.
Roughhousing is a favourite activity,
and dads like to encourage them to
take risks.
Vandana remembers with pride
that it was her papa who taught her
to swim, to ride a cycle and then to
drive a scooter followed by a car. “If I
was hesitant or nervous, he would
always egg me on and dare me to do
it. I didn’t like it then, but I realise it’s
made me tougher,” she grins.
“What fathers do particularly well
is promote a child’s independence
and let go in a loving way,” says
Sangita a kindergarten teacher,
adding, “Have you noticed the
difference in the way parents hold
their babies? While mothers tend to
hold them protectively in the crook of
their arms, with the head on their
shoulders, I’ve noticed many fathers
who hold their babies outwards in
front of them. It’s like letting them
savour and see more of the world.”
Psychologist Gouri Dange points
out the difference in father-son and
father-daughter relationships. She
observes, “Even at a very young age,
a boy needs the involvement of his
dad, who brings his distinct male
form of love, caring, humour, image, and determining how she will
discipline, activity and guidance to relate to men in the future.”
the relationship. Fathers are also Adds Dr Bobdey, “The role of
better at tackling matters such as mother and father differs with the sex
personal hygiene and sex education, of the child. Girls look for emotional
discipline, attitudes, and other key support and love, while boys look for
areas with adolescent sons.” approval from their father.”
Where daughters are concerned, Actually, it’s good news all around.
she explains, “A dependable, Shared parenting means that the
consistent, loving and frank children have two caring parents,
interaction with her father goes a very who can both take charge and bring
long way in building a girl’s self- added value to the relationship. We
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
 THE BOON OF
PRE-MARRIAGE
COUNSELLING
Begin the journey with proper preparation.
n the rush, the excitement, not to
I
mention the incredible
organisational pressure of
organising a wedding, many
people don’t care to think about
something as unexciting and as
sober as pre-marriage
counselling. Like Western
countries, the divorce rate in our
country is steadily on the rise.
Studies show that the cause is
either a physical incompatibility or
emotional absurdity between the
partners. Psychological disturbances
due to ‘maladjustment’ in couples
leading to suicide, homicide, marital
breakdown, alcoholism, drug abuse
etc, are increasing at an alarming
rate. Cases of depression, stress,
nervous anxiety and psychosomatic
disorders are on the rise, particularly
in married couples.
It has been observed by
sociologists that 90 per cent cases of
the trauma of divorce could have
26
By Suman Bajpai
easily been avoided, if only the young
adults had undergone premarital
counselling before getting into
matrimony. Parents may, at times, be
unaware of certain conflicts and
concerns that their children have with
regard to marriage. This is where
premarital counselling helps bridge
the gap. People are taught problem -
solving skills and the art of healthy
communication.
Rectify the conflicts: Most
couples just don’t realise that good,
skill-based pre-marriage counselling
can reduce the risk of divorce by up
to 30 per cent and lead to a
significantly happier marriage,
according to research. It can also
reduce the stress of the pre-wedding
period. Many couples realise after
marriage that they have jumped into
married life with no proper
preparation.
According to Dr Pallavi Barthakur
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Gillani, counsellor, Relationship
Forever.Com, “In today’s world young
adults are busy achieving their goals
and aspirations. And in the process
they strive to do well and prove
themselves every minute of the day.
A couple very much in love does not
get to check whether they are really
made for each other. A busy and
stressful life and socialising at the
weekends do not give them enough
time to actually look at or discuss the
real issues which matter after
marriage. So divorce rates are
becoming higher. If premarital
counselling is considered by the
couple or parents then problems after
marriage and divorce can be avoided
easily.”
Although this concept is still not
very acceptable in India as couples
don’t understand the need, there is
always the pressure of adults to
compromise whatever the situation
comes their way. But with this
counselling one can rectify the
challenges and conflicts that he or
she will inevitably face at some point
in their marriage. Later, under stress,
negative habits and relationship
patterns may become established
and be much harder to resolve.
Keep unrealistic expectations at
bay: Sex education is still not
advocated in schools or colleges in
our country. Therefore, it is important
that those entering into matrimony be
adequately informed about human
sexuality. A marriage counsellor can
help the couple to understand each
other better: various aspects of
character and traits of the other
person which one may miss when
one is in love but understanding of
which is imperative. This level of
deep under standing is required for
the success of the marriage.
Many of the post-marriage
maladjustments are the result of
mistakes of reading the other person
wrong. Often it is seen two perfectly
normal and sincere persons cannot
continue in a marriage. Not that they
were not ready to make some compatible you are, but how you deal
adjustments here and there to make with incompatibility.
the other person happy, but their Premarital counselling tackles
basic understanding of the nature of concerns relating to the impending
the other person was flawed, they did marriage, clears up misconceptions
not know where exactly to make the about sex and talks about issues like
adjustments and how to make the interpersonal relationships and family
other person happy. When the planning. “In our sessions we discuss
marriage is not starting with loads of the crucial issues like sex and
unrealistic expectations its chance of sexuality, family planning, use of
success is really high. contraceptives, religious practices
People getting into marriages do and customs, beliefs, habits, financial
not look at it realistically. When they and social values, likes, dislikes, food
realise that there are compromises habits, lifestyles, role of in-laws,
and responsibilities involved, some- duties, responsibilities, etc.
times even simple issues get blown
out of proportion leading to ego
hassles and tensions.
Premarital counselling exposes
unrealistic ideas about romance and
demystifies several false notions. It's
not a mantra to ward off problems but
be better equipped to face the
challenges of life maturely and
logically together.
Dr Rajan Bhonsle, MD, founder-
director, Heart to Heart Counselling
Centre, Mumbai, who is the pioneer
in premarital counselling, explains, “It
is like a preventive measure as the
divorce rate is increasing day by day.
As divorce rates are going up it
means there is something wrong
happening in relationships. We check
up both the physical and emotional
compatibility of the man and woman.
There are so many issues and things
which they don’t even know about
each other.”
Helps in discussing crucial
issues: Women are rebelling against
automatic role allocation and less
willing to accept injustice or second-
class treatment within a family. Thus,
there is need for proper guidance to
both partners to make them
understand role-sharing in married life.
The typical complex marriage –
managing two careers while rearing
children – really requires that couples
have very strong, well-established
abilities to communicate, resolve
issues, maintain mutuality and set
goals. It is important to come to terms
with unrealistically positive
expectations. What counts in making
a happy marriage is not so much how
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 27

There are almost 100 questions becomes transparent to them. They
we ask depending on their can then easily figure out their
background and education from incompatibility and take decisions
them. Sometimes, it is very difficult accordingly. During counselling,
for them to ask even a simple blood group matching is also
question. In this way everything conducted to diagnose physical
incompatibility. It is extremely
important as the couple should know
about each other’s reproductive
“IT ALLOWS THE ability, diseases that can be sexually
transmitted, and history of any
PARTNERS TO psychiatric disorder. We also
KNOW EACH encourage them to clarify any doubts
they have at these sessions. We
OTHER’S never try to give them any verdict,”
EXPECTATIONS, says Dr Rajan.
Pre-marriage counselling is not
AND DECISIONS. merely preparing or advising people
IT PREPARES THE regarding sexual life, but it is the
process of mental preparation to
TWO PARTNERS accept, love and respect the one you
TO ADJUST WITH will be joining hands with. Pre-
marriage preparation is based on the
EACH OTHER’S reality that it’s important to
FAMILIES AND strengthen relationships and prepare
constructively for future challenges
LIFESTYLES, and conflicts that everyone will
AFTER inevitably face at some point or other
in their married life.
MARRIAGE.” According to Dr Megha Gore,
clinical psychologist, Max Healthcare,
“Premarital counselling is when one
undergoes a counselling session,
28 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
prior to marriage in order to ensure
clear and effective communication
between the two partners. It enables
a clear two-way communication
between the partners, reducing the
scope of misunderstandings, after
marriage.” Pre-marriage counselling
is a must for all couples, as it is a
very practical and realistic way of
avoiding major conflicts. “It allows the
partners to know each other’s
expectations, and decisions. It
prepares the two partners to adjust
with each other’s families and
lifestyles, after marriage. It is very
helpful in decreasing the chances of
separation and divorce. It opens the
door of reality, throwing them out of
their fantasies, making their
relationship practical and wise,”
believes Dr Megha.
Plan ahead: Another hot-button
issue many couples forget to discuss
before that long walk down the aisle
is finances. Some conflict may be
inevitable if one of you likes to spend
while the other prefers to save, but
marriage for two spenders or two
savers can have its unique
challenges as well. Together, try to
develop a budget that both of you
can live with, and don’t be afraid to
look at the long term. Whatever
financial problems your partner has
will become yours too once you’re
wed. So make sure you’re aware of
them and okay with taking on his or
her financial issues.
Premarital counselling is like a
road map before travelling anywhere.
It is better to plan ahead to enjoy the
trip fully. In the same way, it is better
to resolve all the sensitive issues
before marriage to maintain a lasting
and happy relationship. A counsellor
can help the couple develop positive
attitude and communication skills.
Pre-marriage counselling is a very
progressive way of looking at your
marital relationship.
It does not mean that the couple, if
found incompatible, will drop the idea
of marrying each other. It is just that
they can work on their weaker areas
and flaws with healthy
communication, giving each other
respect and space. We
 ROMANCE
OF THE
Paintings of
Rajasthan
An awesome look at the
vibrantly colourful traditions of
Rajasthani arts. By Kusum Mehta
n the history of Indian pictorial art
I
which has an unbroken record of
2,000 years, the Rajasthani art of
painting presents a very brilliant
record of intense activity. This
school of painting makes its
appearance first of all in the 10th
century on a palm leaf
manuscript and later on walls
hand in hand with the Gujarati
30 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
school on the basis of its paper book
illustrations, in the 13th century and
makes both ‘devotion’ and ‘art’ move
together in the contiguous areas of
Gujarat and Rajasthan.
Being the counterpart of
Hindustani literature, it starts as the
medium of illustrating the works of
the Jain scholars and helps in the
production of certain works, which
now are the gems of both literature
and fine arts. The other types of
Rajasthani paintings produced in the
Mughal times were those of the mid-
16th century. It is a strange
coincidence that even in those days
of conflict with the Mughal power, the
area of Mewar (the former princely
State of Udaipur) could produce such
works of art having a marked
influence of Mughal art on it.
Just like the face depictions in the
Mughal paintings, the faces in the
Rajasthani miniatures are depicted
with one eye (ek chasmi) only. There
are very few front face depictions in
it. Even when these are there, these
are neither fine in expressions nor too
many in number. The artist has failed
miserably in this attempt to depict the
front face as a beautiful one.
 LAND OF NATURE
Nevertheless, in all the drawings,
a profound knowledge of gesture and
drapery is evident. It appears that
some set formulae were employed by
artists for dealing with physical
features of the figures, their hands,
drapery, background effects like
water and sky.
In the architectural depictions,
aerial perspective has been rendered
in combination with vertical
projections but the representation of
lines has converged to a vanishing
point. It is interesting to note that this
deficiency does not adversely affect
the expressive value of the art.
The Rajasthani paintings reflect in
them details of Rajasthani physical
features, social dress, manners and
customs. These have not been
studied so far on the basis of
paintings. As far as the background
of Rajasthani paintings and their
decorative borders are concerned,
the paintings present a good
geographical study in themselves.
Their study sets at naught the
common belief of an average visitor
to Rajasthan that it is a desert land.
The depiction of rivers, tank pools,
hills, hilltops, rocky land flora and,
fauna of the region in the form of
flowers and leaves of various kinds,
trees, peacocks, cuckoos, pigeons,
elephants, camels, etc, makes one
feel that Rajasthan is a happy land
of nature.
The scenes depicted in the
background of the paintings contain
the lotus, mango, peepul, banyan,
mango, kadamb, etc., besides cloudy
sky, raindrops, waterfalls, even lakes,
rows of swans, lovely boughs of
creepers, deerskin, etc. There are
palatial buildings with different types
of entrances, arches and ornamental
doors and windows and articles of
luxury used by the rulers of these
States. The paintings also depict the
six ragas and 30 raginis, six seasons
and 12 Hindi calendar months of the
year.
As far as the depiction of romantic
scenes go, the paintings give a
glimpse of the romantic life also. This
is because of the fact that the artists
32
have played upon the themes of the
classical and folk literature, which
abound in such themes, certain
themes are related to Rajasthan itself
because of the long distances, which
the husbands of ladies had to cover
on foot or on camels and which
naturally made their separation from
their beloved so long, sometimes for
even a year.
VIYOG AND SAMYOG
SRINGAR
Such occasions made the beloved
long for their lovers and they
composed songs of separation to
keep the memory of their lovers alive.
Such feelings of separation and
meeting have been technically called
Viyog Sringar and Samyog Sringar.
In most of the paintings of Rajasthan
such depictions have been beautifully
made by the artists.
Not only have all the nine feelings
( rasas ) of Hindi literature –
tranquillity, pathos, romance,
laughter, chivalry, anger, awe,
strangeness and ugliness – been
depicted in the body of the themes
of the paintings but also the beauties
in the face of nature during the
various hours of the day, which has
been divided into early dawn,
morning, midday, twilight and the
various hours of the right, all very
beautifully depicted.
The heroines have also been
depicted in various forms, as are
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
enunciated in classical literature by
the poets of the day. The poets
whose creations have been made on
the basis of the paintings by the
artists are Keshava Bihari, Jaidev,
Manijhan, Surdas, Tulsidas, Chand
Berdai, etc.
The literary works and poetical
compositions, which have been freely
used by the artists as the basis for
their creations include Dhola Maru,
Gita Govind, Rasik Priya, Ramayana,
Mahabharat, Bihari Satsai, Nayika
Bhel, Ragmala, Kamshastra,
Ritumasa, Panchtantra, Prithviraj
Raso, etc.
Of the palettes of the Rajasthani
artist a reference has to be made to
the paper, which was country-made
and of the following types –
Sangaveri, Madhopuri, Ghosundi,
Kashmiri, Jehangiri and Banasi. The
chief colours used in paintings of
Rajasthan are khadia, harbhata
sajeda, siyahi, hirmich, hilkari and
rangoli and were obtainable from
Magrup, Jaipur, Kaurauli, Kota, Bundi
and Jodhpur, respectively, with the
above materials and subjects
Rajasthani paintings succeeded in
producing such an impressive visual
appeal that in most of the cases the
creations of the artists immortalised
the land and also the time when
these were produced.
Under the four major clans of the
Rajputs developed the four major
schools of paintings, which have later
given birth to four way on sub-
schools and styles: 1. Mewar school
(under the Sisodias), 2. Marwar
school (under the Rathors) – (a)
Jodhpur School (b) Bikaner school,
(c) Kishangarh school and (d) Ajmer
school – 3. Dhundhar school (under
the Kachawahs), Jaipur school, and
4. Hadoti school (under the Hadas) –
(a) Bundi school and (b) Kota school,
the Jain, Mughal and Gujarati styles
were also adopted in many ways.
Mewar school: Mewar was in the
forefront in all fields of creative
endeavours – art, architecture, music
and devotional literature under such
illustrious rulers as Maharana
Kumbha, Sanga and Pratap,
Illustrated manuscripts produced at
Chittor, Delwara, Alhar and Chavand
from the 13th century onwards
provide a continuous history of the
Mewar School.
A Ragamala set painted at
Chavand in 1605 by Nisardi is a
landmark of this school followed by
masterpieces. A fine collection is on
view in the City Palace Museum,
Udaipur. Portraits, sets of Ragmala
paintings, divinities and scenes of
folk legends were also produced in
large numbers. Other sub-schools of
Mewar are Devgarh, Sawar, Sirohi,
Shahpura, Pratapgarh, Banswara
and Dungarpur each showing its own
regional characteristics in a subtle
but recognisable manner.
Marwar school: The most
important centres of Marwar are
Jodhpur and Bikaner (both ruled by
the Rathors) and Jaisalmer
commissioned many manuscripts of
their creed illustrated with pictures in
the early Jain miniature style, the
THE ELONGATED NECK,
THE LONG STYLISED
EYES WITH DROOPING
EYELIDS, RADHA
STANDING IN A
GRACEFUL POSE WITH
HER HEAD COVERED
WITH A MUSLIN
ODHANI IS EASILY THE
MOST STRIKING.
34
typical Marwar painting of bold lines
and blaring colours, well-knit
compositions – showing well-built
heroic males with prominent whiskers
and huge pagris and colourfully attired
dainty damsels – did not manifest
itself before the 17th century.
Jodhpur produced many
miniatures and manuscripts in the
18th and 19th centuries, some of
which are in view in the Museum and
Ummaid Bhawan Palace at Jodhpur.
Bikaner, on the other hand,
followed a different course as the
rulers recruited skilful and
experienced painters from the Mughal
court for creating highly finished
miniatures in a Mughal-inspired style.
These painters, known as ustads ,
created some of the finest
representations of Rasikpriya,
Ragamala, Baramasa, Krishnalila
and portraits and court paintings to
be found in Rajasthan.
Kishangarh school: Kishangarh
occupies a position for the highly
individualistic, sophisticated works of
a master artist, Nihal Chand, working
for his royal patron, Sawasit Singh,
who was a poet, a connoisseur of
painting and a great devotee of
Radha and Krishna, his works are by
any standard great works of art.
The elongated neck, the long
stylised eyes with drooping eyelids,
the thin lips and painted chin of his
Radha standing in a graceful pose
with her head covered with a muslin
odhani is easily the most striking
creation of the Dhundhar school
(Ajmer-Jaipur). The earliest traces of
painting in the Ajmer-Jaipur region
(also known as Dhundhari) are to be
found on the walls of the Mughal
gateway at Bairat, the Chhatri of
Banganga and in the palaces and
mausoleums of Ajmer, dating back
the early 17th century.
The style of these paintings is folk,
though the male figures in Mughal
costumes and headdresses. Some
Jain manuscripts written at
Mauzambad and Ajmer during this
period also deserve mention.
The zenith of this school was
reached under Sawai Pratap Singh
towards the close of the 18th century.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
More than a dozen painters worked
in the Surat Khana to produce
hundreds of miniatures to illustrate
the Bhagwat Purana, Devi
Mahatmya, Ramayana, Ragamala
and portraits and other works.
Hadoti school: The Hada Rajput
rulers of Bundi and their collateral
branch of Kota were enlightened
patrons of art, some of the finest and
most fascinating miniatures of
Rajasthan were produced in these
two cities and in other subsidiary
courts in the region.
A typical Bundi-Kota miniature has
graceful women with round faces,
small painted nose, large lotus petal
eyes, receding chin and well-formed
body. The figures are often placed in
the background of plants and
evergreen forests, and a dusk or
early morning sky of many shades of
grey, blue orange and red.
The hunting pictures of Kota are
remarkable creations combining both
realism and symbolism.
These paintings are admired
everywhere and are found in many
museums of India and abroad. With
the growing prosperity of the rulers
and appreciation of the painters
many ruling princes decorated their
chambers with paintings. The
subjects ranged from religious
themes to scenes of lovemaking.
Phads and pichwais: The
ancient tradition of scroll painting
survives in Rajasthan as phad. A
typical phad is a rectangular coarse
cloth with paintings illustrating the life
and heroic exploits of Pabuji, a
popular folk hero. Painted by the
Joshis of Shahpura (Bhilwara
district), in bold vigorous lines and
bright primary colours, these phads
display much of the ancient Indian
tradition of narrative painting.
The pichwais, on the other hand,
are refined works of art created for
using as backdrops in the Shrinathji
at Nathdwara and in other Krishna
temples. They contain the figures of
Shrinathji, attired in a variety of
costumes of different seasons and
festivals or engaged in different
activities. We

MONSOON MAKE-UP
LIGHT AND SHEER
he monsoons have a
T
magical charm attached to
them. The very thought of
the monsoons delights our
hearts, but it is equally
important to care for your
skin and look your best
during the monsoon. In
summer you could put on a
shimmery look and fresh,
light colours to flatter yourself
because it was bright sunny days and
these give a fresh the calm look to
your personality, but in the monsoon
season, the dark and cloudy sky
sometimes gives a slightly sad touch.
So you should wear the colours to
freshen your mood swings.
Use fresh, dark, flowery and bright
colours like grey, dark navy blue, sky
blue, sea blue, sea green, violet, pale
camel or cream, pale olive, mauve,
dark olive, and peach, lavender, etc.
Thick make-up can be easily
36
washed out and soiled in the rainy
season, so go for light and sheer
make-up. Don’t use a concealer
during the monsoon and instead use
the foundation. Wear a waterproof
make-up such as waterproof
mascara and eyeliner, use smoky
bluish or greyish eye shadows and
pale mauve or baby-pink lipsticks.
Don’t give yourself much of a glossy
look. Use mat colours for your make-
up, specially lipsticks. Use transfer-
resistant lipsticks, waterproof
cosmetics products like waterproof lip
liners, waterproof eyeliners, and
waterproof foundation for monsoon
make-up.
During this season you should
avoid using foundation and face
cream when going out because rain
will wash it off, leaving stained lines
on the face. If required, always go for
a water-resistant foundation which
can survive the rain. Confine yourself
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Go right ahead
and use the right
make-up during
the monsoon
to make your style
statement.
By Suman Bajpai
to using lipstick, rouge, eyebrow
pencil and powder. Use lipstick of a
deep, vibrant shade and apply a
dash, a lip gloss, to put a glow on
your lips. Use rouge sparingly.
Heavy eye make-up should be
avoided. If still you want to go with
one, then opt for waterproof mascara
and eyeliner. You will not experience
any smudging throughout the day.
Choose the right shades of
eyeshadow and blush. Although
some eyeshadow shades will be
good to wear during monsoon
season, others will not. The best
thing that you can do is choose
lighter or neutral shades so that they
will blend in with your natural skin
colour if they should happen to streak
at all. Tinted pastel eye shadows can
brighten up your face and still give
you no make-up look. Light bronzers
with a slight sheen work brilliantly for
a natural look.
 Instead of the regular eyebrow
pencil, go for a creamy filler. For
cheeks, a natural shade in tones of
pinks for fair people and oranges for
a dusky complexion is
recommended. Light creamy textured
ones are the best. It keeps the look
natural and fresh. The blush also
remains protected from streaking. Go
for lots of shimmer and shine at night.
It’s all about gold glamour this
season. Use lots of golds. Gold
shimmer can accentuate your cheeks
beautifully. Don’t overdo body glitter.
Use bolder colours for an evening
party with lots of sheer and gloss.
Smoky eyes look great at night.
QUICK TIPS FOR
and lipsticks a pink shade, soft brown
shade with sheer gloss. Do not forget
to use moisturisers that are also
waterproof for keeping away the
greasy skin, loss of water because of
sweating and acne during the
monsoon.
If your face has a natural tendency
towards dryness, it will be more
obvious during this season. Take the
yolk of an egg and mix it with a
teaspoon of cream of milk and a few
drops of rose water. Apply on the
face and neck, leave on for 15
minutes and then wash off.
HAIR CARE
Hair becomes
unmanageable during monsoons.
most

MONSOON MAKE-UP Excessive humidity, excessive

First of all, wash your face with a
face wash and use cleansers to clean
the face. After this, rub an ice cube
for about 10 to 15 minutes on face
for below the level of sweating. It is
also beneficial for keeping make-up
fresh longest.
Do not use foundation and only
use a little powder before starting
make-up for the monsoon. Use a pink
cream as eyeshadow with a thick
layer of eyeliner and after this use
waterproof mascara for eye make-up.
Matte lipsticks are the best option
during monsoons for lip make-up.
One can use light shades for lipliners
sweating and getting wet in the rain
spells doom for the hair, making it
frizzy, dull and limp. Common hair
problems in the monsoon are hair
stickiness and dandruff. Opt for a
short haircut or wear a style that falls
just below your shoulders. Avoid
back-combing and lacquer, intricate
buns and waves because the
humidity in air will make your hair
limp and unkempt within no time.
Either make a single plait or a plain
bun. Avoid styling products for hair.
Wash your hair regularly with a mild
shampoo.

MONSOON FASHION
The wardrobe during the
monsoons is restricted to the two Cs
– namely colour and comfort. Put
away your entire crisp, cool cottons
and silks because they not only soak
up water avidly but become limp
when they dry and lose their crease
and shape completely. Synthetics are
ideal for this season because they
are crease-resistant, dry fast and
regain their original shape when dry.
Do not wear denims but opt for Capri
pants or light cotton fabrics. Avoid
white and light-coloured clothes as
they can get muddy during a
downpour. Wear vivid, vibrant colours
– glowing turquoise, rich green, deep
orange – to beat the grey rainy days.
Over-embellished clothes are a strict
no-no for this season.
Buy a bright raincoat and a
matching umbrella to go with it.
Rubber mules and slippers in bright
shades look great this season.
Leather bags are out this season.
Opt for transparent plastic gigantic
bags in bold colours.
Choose jewellery that is bright yet
lightweight to complement your
make-up. Raincoats and umbrellas
are available in the market in different
designs, shapes and in sizes with
different colours. Go right ahead and
use them to make your own style
statement. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 37

 Where Have
all the Girls Gone?Marriages may be made in some
kind of heaven, but they get contracted on earth.
By Kasturi Rangachari

D
uring the last year I have gone through an fathers sleepless nights over their strings of
eye-opener of an experience that has taught girlfriends as they stumble their way through college
me more about human nature than any other (where they believe that it’s all play and no work
I have gone through. It has left me more that will take them places) suddenly pull themselves
tolerant and understanding and together, get great jobs abroad, but later come to
considerably wiser than I was before. What their mothers and confess in a rather abashed
was this experience? It was trying---and manner that, after six years in America all by their
succeeding!---to find brides for two nephews and the lonesome without anyone to question them on how
son of a friend of mine. they spent their money or the hours they kept, they
For reasons too complicated to explain, this task hadn’t found anyone. And that now mum and dad
had devolved on me and though I had absolutely no should do their parental duties and find them wives!
idea of how to proceed about it, I undertook it, My three boys fell into the latter category.
learnt as I went and completed it “How will you set about things?” asked
successfully. It was a bumpy ride, but one I All of them a friend.
quite enjoyed! were smart, “Goodness, how difficult can it be?” I
I undertook the task very lightly. After their replied flippantly. “I’ll just spread the word
all, all three young men (for the rest of this qualifications around to friends and family that these
narrative I shall, in the time-honoured were excellent three are available and they will be
Indian manner, call them “boys”, and the and they had snapped up!”
young women I was trying to hook them up fantastic jobs. I made calls, spoke to everyone I knew
with, “girls”) were fine specimens of It would be a and then, a week or two later, called again
youthful manhood. All of them were smart, piece of cake to to remind them. But not a lead did I get.
their qualifications were excellent and they get them “I spoke to Vinodini’s mother but the girl
had fantastic jobs. So I couldn’t imagine is already married” said a friend.
married, I
any girls or their parents not realising this “I realised that I don’t know anyone
thought! But
and falling over themselves to snare the with an unmarried daughter of
boys. It would be a piece of cake to get boy, was marriageable age,” said another.
them married, I thought! But boy, was I I wrong! “Girls? Sorry! But if you are on the
wrong! lookout for boys….”
But first, why did I or anyone else have to find Soon, I had to face that fact that no one I knew
partners for these smart young boys? Why hadn’t could put me onto any suitable girl of marriageable
they found them for themselves? Well, this finding-a- age. I then asked myself the question I was to voice
partner business never fails to amaze me. The most and hear voiced again and again over the next two
timid, shrinking-violet type of boy, who from years. “I wonder…where have all the girls gone?
childhood has had the greatest difficulty greeting Where have all the girls gone?”
adults and making friends – and forget talking to, or I pulled myself together at this first setback. Okay,
even looking at girls – goes out of town for a day for so my circle of friends and relatives was too small to
the first time in his life after he begins to work and help me perhaps, but there were always matrimonial
comes back in love and having proposed! ads, right? I knew that these ads appeared mainly
And the bold ones who give their mothers and on Sundays and so I dug out old issues of Sunday

38 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

papers and began to scan the matrimonial columns
for tips on how to word the ads I planned to insert.
This kind of reading was something I had never
“I’m sure that many
people think as I do and
don’t believe in region,
SHORT
STORY

done before and was I shocked! Horror of horrors, caste and nonsense like that,” I told her.
ads were given not just state-wise but also caste- “Can’t you just create a new section?”
wise! Gothrams and stars were mentioned! No, she could not! Finally she agreed to
place the ads in boxes at the beginning of

S
urely, blatantly proclaiming the caste of a the Matrimonial ads columns. “Of course,
person was wrong, perhaps even illegal? I boxes are more expensive,” she said
mean we were trying to abolish caste, weren’t smugly.
we? And gothram and stars meant horoscopes. “I guessed as much,” I replied.
Heavens, did people still believe in those? “And why don’t you put the boxes in
“What world do you live in?” asked a friend bold print? Or with a tick? That will make
bluntly. “Don’t you know that while many people them more noticeable.”
don’t believe in all this stars and horoscope “Bold print and ticks are more expensive
business, many others do? Especially when it comes I expect?”
to something as important as marriage?” She nodded. I thought for a moment. The ads
“No, I didn’t…and people shouldn’t….not in the were already above budget. “No, I’ll just have the
21st century!” I replied indignantly. boxes,” I decided.
“Look, many believe that people of the same “How many Sundays should the ads run?” was
gothram are descended from the same guru or the next question.
acharya. So they think that intermarrying within a “How many Sundays?” I hadn’t expected this.
gothram is wrong.” “Yes. You can have three Sundays for the price of
“But people marry their cousins in many two, you know.”
communities and even their maternal uncles! So how
does a distant common ancestor matter?”
My friend threw up her hands. “I’m not going to
argue with you!” she said tartly. “I’m only telling you
how things are.”
But I decided that, as a matter of principle, I
would not mention caste, gothram or star in my
matrimonial ads. Surely, there would be broad-
minded parents of girls who would appreciate that
and respond? And those who did were likely to be
our kind of people!
I went to the classified ads office of a national
daily and handed over my ads to the girl behind the
desk. I had worked hard on them. It had taken many
rewrites, but I had finally got the language right and
whittled down the number of words to keep the cost
of the ads low. I mean, I had three to insert!
“No castes, no gothrams, no stars?” asked the
girl after studying the ads. “And where are these
boys from?”
“I’m not going to mention any of that,” I replied.
She stared at me. “But you must at least give the
state,” she explained, talking slowly and clearly as if
explaining things to a person with a very low IQ.
“Without that, which section will the ads go in? I
mean we have Tamil Brahmins, Telugu Brahmins,
Tamil Chettiyars, Telugu…..These boys are
Tamilians, aren’t they? ”
“Yes, but I don’t want to mention that. Don’t you
have any general section?”
“We do. But those are mainly used by divorced
people and widows and widowers….”
 I thought matters over. My boys would be the ads, ticking off those that I would respond to.
snapped up the very first Sunday. “Just one insertion The architect with an interest in literature would be
please,” I said. perfect for Dhruv, the fun-loving girl who loved
Come the next Monday, I sat by the phone movies would suit Arhat and the college lecturer who
eagerly and waited for it to ring. The comp was was doing her PhD fit the bill for Sanket perfectly. I
hooked onto the Net so that I could read the emails I ticked on and soon had a dozen girls on my list! I
expected as soon as they arrived. But the phone picked up the phone and dialled the first number.
didn’t ring and no mails appeared. On Tuesday, I “Hello,” I began as soon as the phone was picked
waited for courier letters. None arrived. Did that up. “I’m calling about the matrimonial ad that
mean that absolutely no one was interested in my appeared in the newspaper this Sunday. My…..”
three gems? No unmarried girls or their parents “Sorry! My daughter’s wedding was fixed the
were interested in smart, young, modern-thinking day before yesterday. Just hours after the ad
men who had wonderful qualifications and dream appeared!” And sounding very smug, the woman at
jobs? Had everyone gone bonkers? Where had all the other end of the line put down the phone!
the girls gone? Where had all the girls gone? So girls got snapped up within hours! I dialled the
“You should at least have mentioned the state,” next number. The man who picked up the phone
said an old aunt. was monosyllabic as I explained why I was
“We are all Indians. Which state we If the girl is a calling.
belong to doesn’t matter!” I retorted. vegetarian, she “How are you related to the boy?” he
“It does,” she replied firmly. “The wants to be asked.
people who read your ad wouldn’t have sure that the “I’m his mother’s sister.”
known what language their daughters “I see. And when did your sister die?”
boy is one too.
would be expected to speak after “D...die? She isn’t dead…..!”
Both of them
marriage.” “Then why have you phoned? My ad
will be more
I paused. That hadn’t occurred to me. states quite clearly that my daughter’s star
“Well, all educated people speak Hindi comfortable is Ahilyam.”
and English these days,” I mumbled. with the same “I read that and I’m sure that Ahilyam is
“But people also have mother tongues cultural a very nice star….”
that they love and want their children to background “An Ahilyam daughter-in-law is
know,” she pointed out. “And a state, etc. and lifestyle. supposed to be bad for her mother-in-law!
also has cultural connotations. These things Don’t you The star is supposed to either kill the older
don’t matter in a love marriage. Love understand?” woman or make her suffer.”
conquers all and all that! But in an “I don’t believe that. I mean how can a
arranged marriage people want to be comfortable. star do all that?”
If the girl is a vegetarian, she wants to be sure that “Ah, but will you believe it and blame my
the boy is one too. Both of them will be more daughter if your sister dies soon after the wedding?”
comfortable with the same cultural background and And the man banged the phone down.
lifestyle. Don’t you understand?” The third parent said that her daughter would
never agree to leave Bangalore and go to Mumbai

T
hat made sense and I felt a fool for having
ignored such obvious concerns. I myself was a
vegetarian and was conservative enough to
hope that the girls these three boys married would
be vegetarians too-----at least at home.
“Have you begun to reply to ads yourself?” my
aunt asked.
I gulped. “Not yet….I thought….”
“You thought that you would be overwhelmed by
replies to your ads and wouldn’t need to?” she
cackled. “Don’t presume that you’ll be that lucky!”
I went home and dug out the Sunday newspaper
in which my ads had appeared and went through
the “bridegrooms wanted” ads. As I read, my spirits
rose. There were plenty of suitable girls available!
The three marriages would be settled in no time!
I took a pen and got down to serious reading of
where my friend’s son, Sanket, was posted.
“But you agreed that the boy’s qualifications are
excellent. Surely your daughter can relocate and
find a job in Mumbai?” I asked.
“She won’t agree to that,” the mother sighed.
“Now if the boy agrees to relocate and come to
Bangalore, we can proceed to the next stage….”
“He won’t agree either!” It was my turn to sigh
now and we both disconnected.
I went on down the list but nothing showed any
signs of working out. One girl wanted someone taller
than my nephew’s 5’ 9”. Three others wouldn’t even
consider moving to Mumbai from the cities where
they were and one girl’s star was Ketai which was
bad for the bridegroom’s elder brother. My nephew
Arhat had an elder brother and, while I was ready to
ignore the “danger”, the girl’s family was not.

40 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

 Another mother was so shocked when I said that I
was not interested in matching horoscopes that she
was rendered speechless and she just put down the
phone. The other parents I spoke to did not impress
me at all and I decided not to proceed with the
matches.
T
he weeks passed and I dutifully studied the
matrimonials every Sunday, drew up lists of
suitable girls and made phone calls. But I got
absolutely no glimmer of hope. Girls seemed to be
in such short supply that they were snapped up
within hours – or sometimes even minutes – of the
papers hitting the stands. And my refusal to
countenance horoscope matching put off the parents
of the few girls who were not snapped up and who
were therefore willing to talk to me.
“What on earth should I do?” I asked a friend.
“There just don’t seem to be any girls around!
Where on earth have all the girls gone?”
“This killing of female foetuses has changed the
sex ratio, I expect.”
“Not this much! No, something else is going on.”
Silence fell on the room as we both sat, brows
furrowed, deep in thought.
“Many are going and settling down abroad…”
my friend said finally.
“And girls are getting married much later…”
“Or much younger…”
“And having love marriages…”
“Or deciding not to marry…”
Then someone suggested registering in a
marriage bureau and I went on a hunt for a good
one. Finally, I was told about one which appeared
to be suitable and I set off to find it and register my
three “boys”. At the agency I was given forms to fill
up for each boy. And each form began with details
of caste, community, horoscope, star and gothram!
“I don’t believe in all these,” I tried to explain to
the fat man in charge who sat fanning himself,
dressed in just a veshti and a sacred thread.
He smiled. “Oh? So you’re one of those modern
women who want to change the face of India!”
I did not rise to the bait. After all, I had not come
here to debate sociology but to find brides for my
three young men. “What do I do?” I asked.
“Leave those columns blank---and hope that
someone who thinks like you and has a suitable girl,
sees your entry, likes the details you do give about
qualifications, salary and the like and contacts you.”
“Sees my entry?”
“Yes. Every month the details of every boy and
girl is printed in a booklet and sent to every parent
or guardian who has registered.”
“And…and there are people who just want good
partners and don’t care for horoscopes matching?”
“Well, I think that you’ll find that most parents
who say that they don’t want to match horoscopes,
have wards whose horoscopes have some doshams
or faults in them!” He then looked at my crestfallen
face and added, “Of course, you might be lucky!
But you know…there just aren’t enough girls these
days. In this centre, for example, there are twice as
many boys registered as there are girls.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” I protested. “I
mean, where have all the girls gone?”
T
he man shrugged. “You should come for our
next marriage mela,” he said. “You might have
luck there.”
“Marriage mela?”
“Yes. Parents and guardians come and sit at
numbered tables and details of all registered boys
and girls are read out together with the table
number of the parents or guardian of each. Then
people who are interested in any match can go over
right away and talk to the parents or guardians. No
waste of time, see? Sometimes marriages get fixed
up right at the mela---except for the bride-seeing,
which is just a formality after all.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him over
his last sentence. For me, speaking to, mailing and
finally meeting the girl not just once but a number of
times was essential—hardly “just a formality”!
The next few months, I got the monthly booklets
and went through them meticulously. But most of the
registered girls didn’t seem suitable for my boys and
the parents of the few who did, didn’t respond to my
letters and phone calls, probably because I made it
clear that there would be no horoscope-matching
and that the girls and boys should be allowed to
freely talk and meet.
Finally, I ended up at a marriage mela. The hall
was decorated grandly, courtesy sponsors, all of
whom sold goods and services needed for
weddings. These sponsors had even set up stalls
outside the venue, so that you had an idea of the
kind of goods and services they had to offer.
“Go in and find a bride for your son and then
come out here and buy and order all that you will
need for the wedding!” I heard one stall owner tell a
group of people. Everyone tittered hopefully.
I went in and sat at the table I had been allotted
cost more but I felt that they got my points across. I
then went to the classified ads office I had visited
earlier, swallowed my pride and paid for “two
insertions and one free”, again in a box at the top of
the matrimonial column. I then went to the classified
ads offices of some other national dailies and had
the ads published in the all-India editions of those
papers too----in special boxes.
And I got plenty of responses. Some of them were
from parents of girls who appeared to have
something to hide. They vaguely mentioned past
misadventures, failed marriages and even children. I
didn’t feel the need to respond to these. If one of the
boys had fallen in love with a girl with a tragic past
and wanted to marry her, I would have been proud
of him and supported him all the way, but that
wasn’t the case here.

T
and waited. Soon the show began and the
organisers went onto the stage which had been set
up at one end of the hall and began to read out
details of girls and boys and the table numbers of
their parents and guardians. The details of my three
were also read out and I sat up eagerly and waited
for the rush that I hoped would follow. Half an hour
passed and then an hour. Not a single person came
to my table. It was the most humiliating experience I
had ever gone through!
looked around. The tables that were crowded
o my joy, many of the other replies I got were
from families which appeared to be as broad-
minded as my own. I got in touch with the
parents of those girls whom I thought would suit my
boys and asked if the boys could call and mail their
daughters before they actually met. Most welcomed
the idea and I got the process of the boys getting to
know the girls started.
But the last 10 months had taught me that I
couldn’t sit back and think that things would just
work out. I again began to talk to relatives and
other people I knew. But this time I talked mainly to

I were the tables at which the guardians of girls

were seated. It was the same old story. Where
have all the girls gone, I wondered for the
umpteenth time! Where have all the girls gone?
But, as I sat there, I also realised that I was
completely out of place. My boys and their
background were too “different” for the families of
girls to want to approach me or to feel that their girls them.
would fit into our family. I hadn’t mentioned the
gothrams of my boys or their stars. I didn’t want to
match horoscopes. I wanted them to be
allowed to meet and speak to the girls
freely. All this didn’t fit into the usual
patterns for arranged marriages. No,
marriage bureaus and melas wouldn’t
work for us. It had to be newspaper ads
and personal networking.
I went home and rewrote my newspaper
ads. I reread my initial ones and realised
that I had been wishy-washy. This time, I
was bolder and made it clear what sort of
family we were. I mentioned the languages
my boys knew and stated that we were
Tamilian Brahmins who didn’t care about
state, caste, horoscope, class or
community. The ads were now longer and
the younger lot, my nieces and their friends. I asked
them if they knew any young women who were
interested in settling down. I told them that there
would be no horoscope-matching and that I was
open to girls from any state and community. My
only condition was that my nieces and their friends
must know these girls well and be able to vouch for
Suggestions and the names of girls poured in. I
vetted the girls with the help of my boys and then got
in touch with them and their parents. If they
were open to the idea, the boys got in
Well, there touch with them and started to get to know
was the them.
Punjabi girl Nothing worked out at once, but I felt
who seemed as optimistic. At least we were on the move
and things were looking hopeful! And even
attracted to
when I got shocks, I was able to look at
Dhruv as he
them as learning experiences.
obviously was What shocks? Well, there was the
to her and Punjabi girl who seemed as attracted to
then finally Dhruv as he obviously was to her and then
told him that finally told him that she couldn’t marry him.
she couldn’t “But why?” I asked in dismay. “I thought
marry him. both of you were getting on fine.”
“We were, but I think that she changed

42 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

her mind because I am dark,” said my nephew in a
matter-of-fact tone. “She’s very fair.”
When I looked nonplussed, he gave a grin. “Indian
men have rejected girls down the ages because they
were dark. Well, now it’s payback time!”
I half-heartedly joined him in laughter and hoped
that he wasn’t too heart-broken.
reached just where they should be!
The number of love marriages is definitely going
up in our country, but the traditional arranged
marriage is also alive and kicking. Many young
people want to fall in love and get married and they
feel ashamed when they do not find anyone and
have to fall back on having a match arranged for
them. But there is nothing to feel embarrassed or

A
nd then there was the time Sanket met one of abashed about in having an arranged marriage.
the girls. Her mother had contacted me after Free and open mixing of the sexes and dating are
she had seen our newspaper ad and I had got still not completely socially acceptable in our country
the impression that their family was very and so many young people do not get the
much like ours. I suggested Sanket for her If your boy or chance to meet a variety of members of the
daughter, Misha. We exchanged girl is rejected, opposite sex and, hopefully, fall in love.
photographs and later the two exchanged don’t let him or And if you are trying to arrange a
phone numbers and email IDs and began marriage, here are some tips from someone
her feel that
to call and mail each other. They appeared who has been through it with three “boys.”
there is
to get on very well---Sanket’s phone bills First, unless you are very lucky, it’s not easy
something
became absolutely horrendous! to find the right partner and fix up a
wrong with him
I talked to Misha’s mother a few times marriage. You have to try it all---contacts,
or her. Yes, try ads, marriage bureaus, follow-ups and
and we finally decided that it was time
Sanket and Misha met. Sanket was in your best, but anything else you can think of. Secondly,
Bahrain on a project at that time but he also believe in you have to be single-minded and
took leave and flew down to Bangalore to fate – because determined in your search and not let
meet Misha. They met and I waited eagerly marriages are yourself become disheartened. Remember
for Sanket to call me and tell me the result made in the girl or boy you are looking for has
of the meeting. heaven! certainly been born and is available
He called, but my heart sank when I somewhere. You just have to find her or him!
heard his voice. He sounded confused and Third, don’t be embarrassed by the whole
uncertain. “What is it?” I asked. “You told me that procedure of arranging a marriage and feel that it
she and you vibed so well…..” turns marriage, something which should be and
“Yes, but…but this Misha isn’t the same girl….” emotional and other-worldly, into a practical
“What?” business proposition and arrangement. It’s not that.
“She’s not the girl in the photograph!” It’s just that love hasn’t entered the picture yet and so
“Are you sure?” one can be sensible and realistic and draw up lists
“Yes.” of what you want and don’t want in the boy or girl
“But…but how can that be?” and family you are looking for.
“That girl was of average looks, but pleasant

looking. This girl….is different….”
I dug out Misha’s picture and later went to
Bangalore and met her. Yes, the actual Misha
looked very different from her photograph. Her
photo had been touched up, airbrushed, digitally
altered, whatever, to make her look better.
“So?” I asked Sanket on my return. “What do we
do now?”
“Actually I find Misha OK-looking….but….”
I understood. Misha was OK, but cheating was
not. I agreed and called Misha’s mother and told
her Sanket did not want to proceed with the match.
And then, suddenly, things began to move at the
speed of lightning---on all three fronts. And before I
could actually believe it, everything fell into place
and all three of my boys were engaged to three most its wish list and theirs didn’t match yours.
charming and suitable girls! It had been a long
journey, I thought to myself but all three boys had
F
or instance, I wanted each of the girls I was
looking for to have at least one sibling and this
was one of the factors I took into account when I
was considering a girl. I had my reasons for that---I
feel that people with siblings grow up learning to
share, that they are less likely to be spoilt and that
they will always have the advantage of having
someone to share family problems and burdens
with.
So be clear about what you want and what you
don’t---and then go for it!
Lastly, if your boy or girl is rejected, don’t let him
or her feel that there is something wrong with him or
her. There is nothing personal in this kind of
rejection. It only means that the other party too had
Yes, try your best, but also believe in fate---
because marriages are made in heaven! We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 43

 A hairdo bedecked with roses

Today’s hairstyle
is aiming to give
women a doll –
like appearance.
No wonder, dolls

Imaginatively
are much preferred
these days.

artistic
 The style
adding beauty
with simplicity

Exuding hypnotic charm

Out and out an oriental style

Since prehistoric times women

An attractive blend of the ancient
and the modern have used their hair to magnify
their personality and beauty.
Don’t we stumble when we see
someone sporting a novel
hairstyle?

A style
infusing self
– confidence

Sweet canapes
WAYS TO SERVE RICE
SWEET
CANAPES
INGREDIENTS:
For the canapes:
100 gm of flour
2 pinches of salt
2 tsp of sugar powder
1 tbsp of ghee
For the filling:
1 cup of cooked rice
1/ cup of sugar syrup
2 3-4 tsp of tomato sauce
3-4 saffron strands soaked in
1 tbsp of lukewarm milk
cherries for garnishing
METHOD
To prepare the canapes: Sift
together the flour, salt and sugar
powder. Mix in the ghee and a
little water and knead into a
dough. Divide the dough into 7-8
portions. Roll out each dough into
a small circle. Place each of
these circles into a canape or
cookie mould. The size of
your circle should be slightly
bigger than the size of your
mould. Bake the moulds in
a preheated oven at 150
degree for 12 minutes or until
light golden brown.
Alternately you could buy
ready-made canape moulds.
For the filling: Heat the sugar
syrup and add the rice and
46
No longer will you
avoid eating rice if you
cook it according
to the prescribed
recipes.
By Roma Ghosh
saffron. Cook on low fire till the
sugar syrup is fully absorbed into
the rice. Fill the canapes with this
rice and garnish with cherries and
serve as a sweet dish.
RAINBOW RICE
INGREDIENTS:
3 cups of cooked rice (salt and
ghee added while cooking)
3 tsp of mint chutney
1/ tsp of garam masala
2
50 gm of button mushrooms -
cut in circles and sauteed in
olive oil for 2 minutes
METHOD
To assemble the rainbow
rice: Divide the cooked rice into 5
Rainbow rice
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
portions. To the first portion mix
the mint chutney and keep aside.
To the second portion mix the
tomato sauce and keep aside. To
the third portion add the garam
masala and keep aside. To the
fourth portion add the mushrooms
and keep aside. Leave the last
portion white.
Arrange the differently coloured
rice on a serving plate. Place in
an oven or microwave for just to
heat the rice and serve at once.
RICE
CORIANDER
SOUP
INGREDIENTS:
3 cups of vegetable stock
1/ cup of cooked rice
2
1/ cup of peas or mixed
2
vegetables like carrots and
beans
salt to taste
1 tsp of vinegar
2 tsp of chopped celery
leaves
1 beaten egg – optional
METHOD
Bring the vegetable stock
and one cup of water to a boil.
Add the vegetables and allow the
soup to simmer. Add salt, vinegar,

Rice coriander soup
celery leaves and simmer for 2-3
minutes. Add the cooked rice and
simmer for another 2 minutes.
Now add the beaten egg a little at
a time and allow the egg drops to
set in the hot soup. You could
adjust the thickness of the soup
to your choice. Serve piping hot.
TACHO RICE
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup long grained rice
2 tsp of ghee
2 cups of tomato juice
1 piece of cinnamon – 1/2 inch
2 cloves
1 cardamom
salt to taste
tacho or papads for serving
METHOD
Soak the rice in water for 10
minutes. Drain out excess water
and keep aside. Heat the ghee
and add the whole spices and
allow to splutter for 1-2
minutes. Mix in the rice and
stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Mix
in the tomato juice and salt
Tacho rice
to taste. Allow the rice and tomato
juice to come to a boil. Lower the
heat and cover with a lid and cook
till all the juice has been
evaporated. Cool to room
temperature and then fill tacho
cases or roast the papads and
place a portion of the tomato rice
on it and serve as a starter. Tacho
cases look good to serve.
MANGO RICE
KHEER
INGREDIENTS:
4 tbsp of long grained rice
700 ml of mil
200 ml of sweet mango pulp
sugar to taste
For garnishing:
nuts
METHOD
Soak the rice in water for at
least 30 minutes. Drain and keep
aside. Bring the milk to boil and
reduce it to half its quantity. Then
mix in the soaked rice and cook till
Mango rice kheer
the rice is almost tender.
Mix in the mango pulp
and a bit of sugar if you
need it. Cover and cook till the
rice is absolutely tender and the
kheer begins to thicken. Cool and
serve garnished with nuts.
Broccoli pulao
BROCCOLI
PULAO
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup long grained rice
2 tsp of ghee
200 gm of broccoli flowerets
1 piece of cinnamon – 1/2 inch
2 cloves
1 cardamom
salt to taste
METHOD
Soak the rice in water for 10
minutes. Drain out excess water
and keep aside. Heat the ghee
and fry the broccoli flowerets
till a light golden brown – this
should take only 2-3 minutes.
Remove and keep aside. In
the same pan add the whole
spices and allow to splutter for
1-2 minutes. Mix in the rice and
stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Add 2
cups of water and salt to taste.
Allow the rice and water to come
to a boil. Lower the heat and
cover with a lid and cook till three
fourths of the water has been
evaporated.
At this stage mix in the stir fried
broccoli and cover with a lid and
cook again on low heat till all the
water is evaporated. Serve this
pulao hot with dahi and papad. We
Courtesy: India Gate Basmati Rice
New Delhi. Ph: 011-26548400
 Novel method
for making them.
By Savita Bhargava

Peanut choco whirls

PEANUT
CHOCO
WHIRLS
INGREDIENTS:
85 gm refined flour
1/ tsp baking powder
2
3 tsp cocoa powder
TASTY SNACKS
1/
3 cup sugar
the vanilla essence. Form into a
Dal Makhani
Step 1:
Serve
4
rs

1 tsp grated lemon rind soft dough using cold water.

85 gm butter
3 tbsp castor sugar
1/ tsp vanilla essence
2 1 tsp vanilla essence
1/ cup shelled peanuts
4 3/ cup mixed fruit jam
2 tbsp icing sugar
METHOD
Sift together flour, baking
powder and cocoa powder. Beat
butter and castor sugar together
till pale and creamy. Beat in the
flour mixture and vanilla essence.
Put the mixture in a piping bag
fitted with a large star nozzle and
pipe whirls on greased baking
sheets or trays. Place a peanut
in the centre of each whirl.
Then bake in a moderately
hot oven, until set. Cool
the biscuits, serve dusted
with icing sugar.
GLAZED
PLUM TART
INGREDIENTS:
11/3 cups refined flour
1/ cup finely ground almonds
2
1/ tsp salt Shape into a disc, wrap in plastic,
4
6 tbsp cold butter refrigerate for at least an hour.
Grease and flour in a baking
Step 2:
sheet. Place dough on it and pat
4
1 tsp lemon juice into a 10 inch circle, forming a
cherries high edge. Pierce bottom of
sweetened whipped cream or dough all over with a fork. Bake in
a pre-heated oven for about 25 Step 3:
ice cream (optional)
minutes or till slightly browned.
METHOD Melt jam with lemon juice in a
Mix together flour, almonds,
small saucepan over low heat
sugar, lemon rind and salt in a until spreadable.
large bowl. Mix in the butter and
Spread 1/2 cup jam mixture
over bottom of shell. Arrange the
fruit on top. Brush with remaining
jam mixture.
PIZZA
SWIRLS
INGREDIENTS:
21/2 cups flour (maida)
2 tbsp butter
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
3 tsp dry yeast
1/ cup warm milk
2
Glazed plum tart 2 tsp pasta reasoning

48 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

 now you can make

Dal Makhani
restaurant like food
Serve
4
rs
at home
Step 1:
In a pressure cooker, boil 1 cup black urad whole
dal, drain the entire cooking water and mash the dal
to a paste.

Step 2:
Add 2 cups fresh water, 45 gm butter and 1 pack
Knorr Ready to Cook Dal Makhani.

Step 3:
Close the cooker, after 2 whistles lower flame and
cook for 20 min.

5
Reasons to use Knorr Ready
To Cook Range
✓ No cutting or chopping
required
✓ Saves time
✓ Saves gas
✓ No added preservatives
✓ Low on fat, low on salt

Pizza swirls
1 cup grated mozarella cheese
1/ cup prepared pasta sauce
2 batter in bowl, spoon into another
METHOD
Mix the milk, sugar and yeast
in a bowl. Let stand until yeast
foams. Place flour, salt and butter
in another bowl. Mix in the yeast
mixture and form into a soft
dough. Keep the dough covered
till double in size. Knead again,
and divide it in two. Roll out
dough to a square on a floured
surface. Spread pasta sauce over
it. Sprinkle a little pasta reasoning
on it and half of the cheese. Roll
dough swiss-roll style to enclose
filling. Cut roll cross-wise into 1
inch slice. Place slices on a
greased baking sheet or tray.
Bake until golden brown
about 15 minutes. Transfer to
a serving dish and serve
immediately.
CHECK
BOARD CAKE
INGREDIENTS:
200 gm condensed milk
140 gm maida
60 gm melted butter
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/ tsp soda
2 2
1 tsp baking powder
50
4 tsp cocoa powder
10-12 tsp water
chocolate syrup or sauce
METHOD
Preheat oven. Line
three small round cake
pans with parchment
paper. Combine flour, baking
powder, soda in a bowl. Beat
butter and condensed milk in a
large bowl with an electric mixer Italian twisters
until fluffy. Add the flour mixer and
enough water and beat well. Pour
half of the batter into a medium
bowl. Spoon remaining batter into ITALIAN
a plastic bag. Stir melted
chocolate or cocoa powder into
TWISTERS
INGREDIENTS:
plastic bag. Cut 1/2-1” opening in 11/4 cups flour
bottom corner of each bag. Pipe 3 1 tbsp butter
1/ tsp sugar
even alternating rings of yellow 2
and chocolate batters into 1/ tsp salt
2
prepared pans, two beginning 11/2 tsp dry yeast (instant)
with chocolate rings along edge 1/ cup warm milk
4
of pan and one beginning with a 1 tsp dried mixed herbs
yellow ring. Bake for about 20-25 1 tbsp grated cheese
minutes. Cool completely. Place
METHOD
a layer with chocolate edge on
Mix the flour, butter, sugar, salt,
serving plate, spread top with a
yeast, mixed herbs and cheese.
little chocolate sauce, repeat with
Add the warm milk and prepare a
yellow-edged layer, then
soft dough. Take small portions,
remaining chocolate-edged layer.
roll them. Take two rolls and on a
Top with melted chocolate.
lightly floured surface, twist
them together. Place these
bread sticks on prepared
baking sheets. Press down
edges slightly to prevent
twists from unravelling. Bake
until golden brown. Serve
warm.
CINNAMON
COFFEE CAKE
INGREDIENTS:
11/3 cup refined flour
1/ cup granulated sugar
2
1/ cup butter milk
Check board cake 1/ cup refined oil
3
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
 Cinnamon coffee cake
1 tsp baking powder
1/ tsp baking soda
2
1/ tsp salt
4 2
1/ cup firmly packed light brown
4 METHOD
sugar
1/ cup softened butter
4 METHOD
1/ cup chopped walnuts
4
2 tsp cinnamon
METHOD
For cake combine 1 cup flour,
granulated sugar, buttermilk, oil,
baking powder, baking soda and
salt in a mixing bowl. Beat well
until blended. Pour batter in a
greased cake tin.
For topping, mix remaining
flour, brown sugar, butter, walnuts
and cinnamon in a small bowl with
a fork, until mixture is crumbly.
Sprinkle over batter.
Bake until tooth pick inserted
in centre of cake comes out clean.
Serve warm.
Sweet ‘n’ spicy
pakoras
SWEET ‘N’ diagonally, so we get 2 triangular
sandwiches. Dip this sandwich in
SPICY the besan batter and fry in
moderately hot oil till crisp and
PAKORAS golden. Again. Cut the fried
pakora into two. Serve hot.
INGREDIENTS:
4 slices of bread
2 tbsp coriander mint chutney
2 tbsp jam
1/ ” thick slice of paneer (equal
TWICE BAKED
4
to the bread slices) POTATOES
2 tbsp tomato sauce INGREDIENTS:
6 tbsp besan (gram flour) 4 large potatoes
1/ tsp red chilli powder 1/ -1 cup grated cheese
2 2
1 tsp ajwain 1 tsp pepper powder
a pinch of baking soda 1/ cup thick cream
4
1/ tsp chaat masala
salt to taste
oil for frying
salt to taste
Scrub potatoes well, wash dry
and rub the skin with a little oil
Remove the corners from the and salt.
bread slices. On the 1st slice Prick the skin of the potatoes
spread the jam, place the 2nd with a fork, so steam can escape.
slice on it and spread the chutney.
Cover with the 3rd. On the paneer
slice sprinkle some chaat masala
and place it on the bread slice. On
the other side spread the tomato
sauce and cover with the
fourth slice. Press firmly,
and keep aside. Mix
the besan and the
spices, add
enough water to
obtain a smooth
batter. Cut the
s a n d w i c h
Twice baked potatoes
Bake in a hot oven till cooked.
Slice off tops of potatoes, scoop
out centres, leaving 1/8th inch
shell. Mass potatoes, add the
cheese, cream, salt and pepper,
heat until fluffy. Fill into the shells.
Bake again for about 20
minutes. Serve hot.
Baked sandwiches METHOD powder and bake in a moderately
Grease a baking dish well. hot oven for 20-25 minutes. Cut
Dip a few bread slices in milk, in squares while still warm, but
remove quickly and press out serve when cold.
the excess milk. Line the dish
evenly with the required
number of bread slices. Melt BAKED CRISPY
jam, add the grated coconut
and mix well. Spread the
STARS
coconut jam mixture over the INGREDIENTS:
250 gm maida (refined flour)
Baked crispy stars 50 gm almond powder
85 gm butter
1/ tsp salt
2
2 tbsp curd
1 tsp ajwain
1/ tsp soda bicarbonate
4
BAKED METHOD

SANDWICHES Mix well all the

ingredients and make a
INGREDIENTS: soft dough using a little
thick custard made from 1/2 ltr. water. Take small
milk portions, roll them out, cut out
6 bread slices (corners biscuits with a biscuit cutter of
removed) any shape. Arrange on a greased
1/ cup milk
2 bread slices. Cover with the baking sheet as tray and bake in
1/ cup grated coconut
4 remaining bread slices. Spread a moderately hot oven till golden
1/ cup jam or jelly warm custard evenly over the
2 and crisp. Store in an airtight
1/ -1 tsp cinnamon powder bread slices. Sprinkle cinnamon container when cool. We
2

husband slowly came to know the state

False friction for peace
This incident happened in the
initial days of our marriage. Though
my mother-in-law welcomed me as
her daughter-in-law, the good times
remained only for few days. I found
that my MIL was against me for
anything and everything. The same
mistakes committed by her daughters
were ignored by her and for the same
things there was a war of words
against me. To have peace at home I
silently suffered and didn’t dare to
tell my husband. Anyhow my
of affairs at home and he came to the
conclusion that his mother was making
my life miserable.
One day as a trial my husband
suggested an idea and I agreed to it.
Accordingly, whenever we were in our
private room he pretended to scold me
with so loudly that all the members of
the house could hear. That continued
for a few days and as climax he
enacted a drama of beating me with a
stick. While all the beatings were taken
by the beddings in the room, I
pretended crying loudly. My MIL
thought the beating to be real and
advised my husband not to beat me, I
kept on crying for some time. With
soaked eyes when I came out of the
room not only did she scold her son
but also pacified me and started to love
me and there was peace back in my
life. – Payal Kathuria
Has something
happened in your
life that has left an
indelible impression on your
mind? Some experience that gladdens
your heart or which makes you
shudder with pain or embarrassment
even after years! Why not share your
experience with the readers of
Woman’s Era? All published incidents
will be paid Rs 200. Please type or
write neatly on white foolscap paper
and send it to:
MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE
EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE
E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
Name:
Mobile:
E-mail:

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 53

 This modern
beauty is striking
such a pose which
can be only
worded as dance
of grace. With
such charm she
can make or mar
any man.

Fanciful flight
of beauty

Won’t you join me?:

This seems to be an
open invitation to
the valiant at heart.
The challenge can
be quite interesting
and tempting.
Planning the
move: She is
contemplating
or rather all
set to bowl
over the target
of her love.
Looking for
an equal: She
is preparing
to cast her
hypnotic spell
on someone
special.
So sexciting:
What about the
weak hearts,
even the bravest
of the brave can
quiver before
her alluring
personality.
 Face so innocent:
Her simplicity and
noble beauty can
win more than
scores of hearts.

Make-up and hair: Serena Rayani

Model: Shailaja
Cloths: Golmaal, Lokhandwala
Photographer: Arjun Prasad
 QA &
Q&
My best friend and I had jobs in the
same office. She then left and went
to another outfit where she has a
more senior position. She wants me
to join her company but then I will be
junior to her. I feel I am happy in my
job but don’t want to disappoint her.
What do I do?
You need to be honest with your
friend. Did you make a pact with her
when she was leaving the job that
you will join her. And even if you did,
you have a right to change your mind.
Tell her that things will change
between the two of you as friends if
one is the boss and the other a rank
lower. Also, you can say that your
prospects are better in the old job and
she needs to respect that decision.
A
I am 40 and became a widow when I
was 22. Now my only son is also
settled and I feel I have done all my
duties to the best of my capacity. I
have done everything right and had
no excitement in my life. Suddenly I
feel that if I don’t do something wild
and fun now, my life will be over. Can
I take chances?
Of course you have done things
the right way, your grown-up son
whom you have managed to settle in
life is the proof of that. As for
excitement, it is never too late but
there is wisdom in doing things that
are fun but not necessarily wild. Yes,
you can take chances but remember
your limitations and work accordingly.
Discuss with some good friends
about what you want to do – travel,
learn new things, take up a serious
hobby, whatever appeals to you and
then chalk out a route for achieving it.
I had a very bad time with my ex-
fiance. He turned out to be a liar, a
cheat and even beat me up on a
couple of occasions. Now I feel that I
am constantly dwelling in the past
and unable to move on. How can I
hurry the process up?
You need to grieve before you can
hurry the process up. Of course, you
would have been hurt terribly and
have a right to feel cheated and hurt.
You have not mentioned how long
you have been single. There is no
‘prescribed’ time limit. Every human
being instinctively knows when they
are ready to move on. Pick up with
old friends and do things you enjoy
doing with them or even on your own.
Every time you find yourself dwelling
on the past, just remind yourself of
I am only 22 but I have
the responsibility of my
18-year-old sister who
lives with me. I work
late hours and feel she
is taking advantage of my
absence. Our mom works and
lives in the Middle-East and I don’t
know how to discipline my sister!
You are barely old enough to
take responsibility for yourself, let
alone your teenage sister. Yet if
the circumstances are such that
you have no choice, you have to
play the mother. Your sister’s
attitude will not change overnight.
Let your mother communicate the
limit on various things and you tell
her that she should earn her
freedom by being responsible.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
all the good that has come into your
life since he left.
My girlfriend and I decided to try sex
though our marriage cannot happen
for another two years. Now she says
she feels guilty and would not let me
even kiss her. It is driving me
absolutely mad. What do I do? I
really do love her.
Girls who have had a traditional
upbringing are often unable to enjoy
premarital sex and if you really love
her, you have to understand her
feelings and point. While it must be
difficult, there are other ways for a
man to do a solo job for himself and
two years is not that long a time.
Respect her decision, as all men
must when it comes to a woman’s
point of view on sex.
I am a serious person
by nature. Recently a
very bubbly and
chirpy colleague said
she could easily fall in
love with me only if I
knew how to laugh at
myself. What is that
supposed to mean?
A good sense of humour is
essential for a good relationship
between two people. While it is a
good thing for your work that you are
a serious and no-nonsense kind of
person, it must be boring for your
friends. What other people think of
you should not matter. While it is not
easy to change one’s basic attitude in
life, you can lighten up. She probably
meant that you are a good human
being, only just too serious for her
liking.
MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...
This new column will tackle queries
related to family, social environment and
personality development.
Please address your queries to:
WOMAN'S ERA,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110055.
or log on to Womansera.com
59

argaining is a special art
B
and it takes lots of practice,
perseverance and years of
experience to learn. The
basic human mentality of
getting the most by offering
the least is the sole moti -
vational factor behind
learning and mastering this
art. When both the parties
feel happy after the deal, it is
considered to be a good bargain. But
that is very rare.
And remember that there is no
60
THE ART OF
BARGAINING
such place where you cannot bargain
– except supermarkets and malls.
There is no one to bargain with in a
supermarket and I think that it is
sadistic. There should be some
system whereby you can even bargain
in a supermarket. But promotions and
raffles would make up for that up to a
certain extent. However, you can
never get that inner satisfaction and
peace of mind in such places. I think
that such establishments are not
customer- friendly and should be
banned from using such practices.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
What does it
take to bring
down prices at
a shop? Find
out from a
self-professed
master of the
game.
By Ashutosh Rawal
I am trying to study this art for the
last few years and I would like to
share my experience and knowledge
about bargaining with people from all
over the world. If you are bargaining
with people from different
backgrounds, your task becomes all
the more challenging. Bargaining
requires an in-depth study of different
cultures and the behavioural pattern
of these people. It is a science in
itself. On the other hand, it is just a
question of simple common sense
and use of skilled language.
 Your acting skills and your body
language are also put through a
rigorous test. Remember that you
should never buy anything in a hurry.
You get the best of the bargains
when you have lots of time to spare.
Hence, plan accordingly for your
invaluable bargaining trip.
WHERE TO BEGIN
The best place to begin is any
local market. Right from a small shop
in a crowded market in downtown to
a designer shop in a glamorous
shopping centre, you can bargain
everywhere. Remember that
bargaining becomes difficult when
the owner is not around and you
have to deal with the employees.
Hence, don’t waste your time in such
places.
The best time for bargaining is late
afternoon when many people are not
around. Let me remind you that the
shopkeeper or the owner of the shop
will be reluctant to bargain in front of
many people. Do not wear very
expensive or designer wear if you are
really serious about the bargain. It
means that you are sending wrong
signals to your opponent. The owner
of the shop is our opponent in this
case. If you can afford such
expensive clothes or jewellery, you
can afford anything. Do not even
wear torn and dirty clothes. The
opponent will think that you cannot
actually afford to buy any item in his
shop and are just wasting his time.
Wear simple and casual clothes. To
create a proper visual impact is the
first step.
The real test starts when you spot
something in the shop that really
attracts your attention and would like
to buy it at any cost. Do not even give
a second glance to that piece. If the
owner realises that you really like that
particular item, half the battle is lost.
The next step is to go away from that
item and start looking at something
very expensive that you would never
want to buy. Your acting skills will
come in really very handy at this
point of time.
Select a few items (at least five)
and keep them aside without even
asking the price. This means that you
are a good customer and will give
very good business to the shop. At
this point of time, the owner will come
and personally assist you in your
selection. He or she will show you 20
more items, which are not displayed
outside. Take a look at them carefully
and select a few more. When I say
select, it does not mean that you
have to buy those items. It is just a
small decoy.
The time is now ripe for the final
catch and you have to move very
carefully. You have to bargain but at
the same time maintain the interest of
the owner in such a manner that he
does not suspect anything. Now, you
start asking the price of each item
and look very surprised when he tells
you the price. But don’t mention that
you will buy any or all of them.
Ask for a better rate. He will lower
the prices by around five to 10 per
cent depending upon the place and
situation. Just laugh and take it as a
joke. Tell him/her that all your time
and energy is not worth such petty
bargains. Instead ask him to charge
the original price.
It means that it is below your
dignity to ask for such small bargains.
You would rather not bother about it.
The opponent will feel a little guilty
and will offer you around 20 per cent
to 30 per cent discount this time
(again depending upon your acting
skills and the situation). This is what I
call reverse psychology.
DON’T MENTION IT
Remember that all this time you
are just selecting things and should
not mention that you want to buy
these things. Ask for the price that is
30 per cent less than his last quote.
Tell him that you are not a one-time
customer, you live in the
neighbourhood and will be coming to
his shop regularly.
You should be very calm and
patient all this time. Start talking with
your friend in your own native
language and mention certain key
words like quantity, thousands,
quality, etc, in English. Casually pick
up the piece that you really want and
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
YOUR ACTING SKILLS
AND YOUR BODY
LANGUAGE ARE ALSO
PUT THROUGH A
RIGOROUS TEST.
REMEMBER THAT YOU
SHOULD NEVER BUY
ANYTHING IN A HURRY.
YOU GET THE BEST OF
THE BARGAINS WHEN
YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME
TO SPARE. HENCE, PLAN
ACCORDINGLY FOR
YOUR INVALUABLE
BARGAINING TRIP.
ask for its price. The opponent will
definitely quote you the lowest price
thinking that you will not buy this
product but are just trying to compare
the prices of other products and it will
help him in selling other products that
you have already selected.
If you have done your homework
well (and with good acting), that will
be the best price for that item. Ask
for another 10 per cent reduction and
most probably the shopkeeper will
agree to it thinking that he will make
up for his margin in other items that
you have selected. Accept it
reluctantly (as if you are obliging him)
and immediately ask him to pack it
for you.
For the other items that you have
selected, politely tell him that you find
them a little expensive and will come
back to him after checking prices in
one or two other places. Mission
accomplished – and you will be
laughing all the way to your home
with your prized possession.
The problem will start when a lot
of shop owners will also read this
article. You will have to wait till I
study this new trend and come out
with a strategy to counteract their
moves. Happy bargaining till then.
Never forget that bargaining is your
birthright and nobody can take it
away from you! We
61
Today women
are putting on
clothes which
bring into
prominence
their physical
features. These
clothes make
the women and
their presence
electrifying.

at her
Curvaceous best

Going mod:
With lesser clothes
the beauty becomes
more revealing.
 A timely
step: Come
on, dance
with me.

A modern-day Cleopatra:
A compelling pose when
you wear something
selective.
 Rhythmic grace:
Ready to vibrate.
It’s Waltz: Match your
steps with mine.
Impeccably attired:
The impact is stunning.

Matchless charm: More than

the clothes, she is terrifically
attractive.
Dresses: Asim Miglani
Virddhi Retail, Malviya Nagar,
New Delhi. Ph: 40507333
 THE FIRST SHOWER
The shining sun
With all its might,
Bearing harshly
Without respite,
All upon
the earthly plains
So full of yearning
For the season’s first rain.
That parched land
So dried and tanned
May umpteen prayers
Make and send
But none can tell
How or when
The mighty rain showers
Will choose to descend...
When at last the heavens pour,
Embracing all of nature’s floor
The dampened earth
Can no more
Resist the urge
Or the lure
And every grass and flower springs
To every heart a song it brings.
At the first showers
The spirit soars
Smiling faces in galore
Let joyous welcome in merriment pour
And even the gulmohur
Can’t help but spread –
A carpet of flowers
In resplendent red!
– Veena Bantwal

At long last
It so happens
Black advancing clouds
So threaten
That the azure skies
With the blazing sun
Are forced to make way
And let dullness grip day.

66 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009


Q&
I am 25 years old and I have started
getting small hairs around my breast.
This has increased tension in me. I
will be marrying soon. I want to get
rid of this problem. Please advise.
Hairs around nipples are quite a
normal thing and many women adore
them. There is nothing to worry about
them. But if you do not want them
simply trim them very short. These
can also be removed with
electrolysis. Depilatory cream can
also be applied. Tweezing is not
A
recommended as it may cause
infection and soreness of the part.
I am a 17-year-old girl and
overweight. I reached puberty when I
was in the 6th grade as my breasts
started to develop. I observed some
very small boils surrounding my
nipples. These are painless and do
not hurt. Please advise.
What you have got are not boils
but small ductules surrounding the
nipples. Along with these there are
Montgomery glands which lubricate
the skin. There are small nerve
ending and blood vessels which
supply both nipples and areolas.
What you have got is perfectly
normal.
It is the normal growth of the
breast where due to hormones
produced by the ovaries, the milk
ducts extend to form glandular tissue,
lymph and blood vessels grow and
the skin enlarges to enfold the
swelling of the breast.
Q
I am an 18-year-old girl and have
been using water jets for
masturbation for the last seven years.
After using it I feel heaviness in my
lower abdomen though I have not
encountered any problem in this
regard. My periods are regular and
normal? Please help.
You have been masturbating for
the last seven years. Though it is a
simple way to let out your sexual
desires and gain sexual gratification
but there appears to be no
justification for using a water jet. In
the long term it can harm you and
may damage your private parts.
Feeling of heaviness in the lower
abdomen after the act is another way
of expressing your sexual
gratification. But I will advise you to
desist from this act and instead divert
your mind. to healthy activities like
sports, books, music, etc. It will take
your mind away from sexual
fantasies.
Q Q
I am 35 years old. Unfortunately, I
have got very large, pendulous
breasts which are a cause of great
embarrassment. My doctor has
advised me to go for reduction. What
I am worried about is the large scar
which I may have to live with. Please
advise.
Your fears are well founded. A
certain amount of scarring is
inevitable since your breasts are very
large. Moreover, a big scar can also
produce a form of tension which may
be worse than the scar. Some
women get a big scar and
unfortunately the breasts are the
worst site for a scar.
Q
My friend (30 years old) had large
breasts along with a slightly heavy
body. She went for reduction surgery
of the breasts. Now, she has lost
weight. Unfortunately, her breasts
have now become very small and
she is cursing the day she went for
surgery. What should she do? Please
help.
What has happened is rather
unfortunate. Losing weight in a
woman who has undergone breast-
reduction surgery can be quite a
problem.
In fact, this should be taken care
of before planning surgery. Now, the
only alternative is to put on a little
weight and give the much-needed
shape to the breasts.
I am 34 years old and married. The
other day I fell from the stairs and
bumped against the wall. My breast
is now swollen and very painful.
Please advise.
What you have got is probably an
accumulation of blood under the
tissue as a result of the trauma you
suffered. What you require is medical
attention (in the form of breast
support and analgesics). Your doctor
can take care of this aspect. Many
women are left with a lump in the
breast which often causes worry.
Persistence of a lump in the breast
may require a biopsy.
I am 20 years old. My problem is that
I get agonising pain at the time of my
periods. The pain is so intense that I
cannot even stand, and have
to cancel my programmes. Please
help.
What you get is part of the normal
physiological reaction of the body.
Most of this period pain is a side
effect of the body’s hormonal
swings where a hormone called
prostaglandin plays a major role. It
causes the blood vessels to the
uterus to contract resulting in these
cramps.
Many women bear it depending on
their capacity to bear pain.
Analgesics can help you. With
the passage of time these will
decrease. But if these cramps
become unbearable then you see
your doctor.
— Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.
 A BURNING NATIONAL ISSUE
The tough guy star talks of his
upcoming farmer-turned-Naxalite film... By Anil Merani
ction superstar Suniel
A
Shetty is quite kicked about
his new film, Red Alert The
War Within which deals the
biggest internal security
problem of the day, ie
Naxalism. This intelligent
film based on a true
incident in South India will
release around August/ -
September. We caught up with Anna,
as Suniel is adoringly called, at the
first look and had a long chat with
him on the same.
Red Alert deals with the
Naxalite problem?
When we started the film, this
issue was not so big. But of late with
the events in Bengal (Lalgarh), it has
become a burning national issue.
70
Even the US Senate says that the
biggest threat to India is not external,
but internal. These people with guns
are not outsiders, but our very own
people. Full marks to the producer
T. P. Aggarwal, for attempting to
make a film on a subject like this –
most producers would have run shy
given the risks involved.
But does the film glorify
violence ?
If you see the film you will
understand that we have tried to
show that resorting to the gun does
not solve anything. There is a very
thin line between revolution and
terrorism. On the other hand,
emotions, intelligence and education
can solve most of the underlying
issues. Our film has a very interesting
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
climax which tries to explore the
human cost of this most mis
misunderstood war.
Something about your
character and look?
I play a farmer, Narasimha, who
gets embroiled in the Naxalite
movement. It traces his journey. How
he picks up the gun, kills for the first
time. He is also forced to kill
someone who saves his life.
I have never done this type of
character before. An action hero has
a completely different body language.
I had to drop all that. My shoulders
had to droop.This project was quite
emotionally taxing as well. As the
character was crying a lot, many of
the times I would end up getting a
headache.
 Working with talented actors like
NaseerBhai, Vinod ji and Seema
Biswas was a terrifying job.They
would psyche me out . But it was
good, for even I had to raise the bar
to match up to them. The character
also demanded a lot of underplaying
which I am not known for.
Shooting in the jungle?
It was fun. Agreed, there were
insects, but living in the wild has it
own high. The weather was much
more pleasant, than living in concrete
jungles. I really wonder what we have
done to Mother Nature.
Why did you choose this
project ?
One of the main reasons for
choosing this film was the script.
Such Ideas if well told do click. It is
very easy to play larger-than-life
characters because the surroundings
support you, but here I had to
become the farmer mentally to
integrate myself into the backdrop.
The other factor that compelled
me to choose this role was that after
Border and Hutu, this was one film
which was so real.
But will a film which provokes
you to think, work ?
I think multiplexes have an
intelligent audience who want to
watch different cinema. Did Slumdog
not have people rushing in? World
cinema which is both entertaining
and compels you to think has a
market these days and I would call
Red Alert part of that genre.
Our premier at the Stuttgart film
festival is a vindication of the hard
work put in by all of us.
Will your production house
Popkorn Entertainment make a
serious film?
Yes we have a very interesting
and sensitive theme, but I will not
want to talk about it now.
You have been around for 20
years – how do you see the
industry then and now?
Things have become much more
professional and organised. Today’s
young kids understand the
importance of time. Gone are the
days when actors would turn up late.
On the flip side, money has become
the main overriding factor.
As for content, realistic concepts
are being tried around like Red Alert,
a film which is quite close to my
heart.
Having said that, the last two
years have been quite bad for the
industry. We need to erase that part
and move on, else, we will continue
to suffer losses and bleed.
The recent multiplex strike I fear
might have made the audience forget
about going to the cinema just like
when the video boom happened. The
only solution is that we all join hands.
What is your take on the media?
I always welcome constructive
criticism. You say this was wrong but
at the same time you should also
give credit where it’s due. The
industry needs
encouragement at this
crucial juncture. But
sadly you have some
people who are just out
to rape the film and not
rate it.I have been called
a wooden actor with no
expression, yet have
survived for so long.
What has been the
reason for your long
innings?
I never run down anybody. I
always keep my producers and
directors above everything else.
It's not that I have not done wrong
films, but my commitment never
wavered.
Recently, there were press
reports about Ekta Kapoor issuing
a notice about an incomplete film
which you were jointly co-
producing?
See, this is what I mean about
wrong reporting. I have no clue about
which notice they are talking about.
How can you carry a story where
both the parties are unavailable for
comment?
I respect Jeetuji, Ekta and
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Shobhaji. Differences can occur, but I
am a guy who will say sorry if I am
wrong.
Your best film?
Border. Injured army soldiers told
us in Kargil that they loved our work. I
felt humbled. Getting praised by the
real heroes.
I also loved doing Dhadkan
(romantic), Hera Pheri (Laugh riot)
and Hu Tu Tu (social).
You had not done much work of
late.
I was not getting the right kind of
roles, so I decided to lie low rather
then doing trash. But now things are
on the mend and I have a fantastic
mix of films, eg Daddy Cool , a
comedy about a funeral. Then there’s
Tum Milo to Sahi, a
socially relevant film with Nana
Patekar and Dimple Kapadia. Aneez
Bazmi’s No Problem and De Dana
Dan are also in the works. As a
producer as well I have a few
projects on the floor as well – e.g
Loot, Mumbai Chakachak and Little
God Father.
Would you consider direction?
No, it’s not my cup of tea. The
reason why I took up production was
that one has to always plan ahead. I
don’t want to spend the rest of my
life getting up at 9 a.m. for a shoot. I
want to do other things. We
71
 THE
GREEN WORLD
Feel the Observe a flower silently….
Touch it with your sensitive
surrounding our homes, offices,
buildings, our balconies and
heart… everywhere and feel the soothing
freshness of green Feel its purity, silence, freshness effect on our bodies and minds.
and cheerfulness… One can find oneself in the midst
beauty at your Blossom with its grace, of green plants in this high-tech
sensitivity, patience and affection! machine age. Yes, develop
home and office landscape gardening in your
e are struggling and surroundings and be close to nature.

W
with landscape surviving in this hi-tech The green plants help to keep air
world and drifting far fresh, remove pollutants and
gardening. from the wonders of enhance your creativity besides
nature. Today, the pace having a cooling and soothing effect
By Dr Alka Singh of urban development on the eyes. A basic knowledge of
has transformed the plant selection and growing and
eco-friendly human one's creativity is all that is needed to
being into a machine- cultivate the art of landscape
friendly automation. gardening. Here are some tips to be
The level of pollution is crossing followed in the selection of plants for
healthy limits in most of the cities day gardening:
by day and aggravating problems of ● The plants should be selected
headache, nausea, breathing on the basis of the presence of light
difficulties and bronchial diseases,
eye-irritation, nervous disorders, Phylodendron seylum
fatigue, depressions, etc. Here, our
green friends (plants) can rescue us
from all these. Besides they add to
the aesthetic value of our building or
residence.
Our eyes long for the sight of
green nature. We can change such
dull and lifeless situations by
developing landscape gardening

72 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

at your home, balcony, backyard or
surroundings wherever you want to
develop landscape gardens. Some
plants grow well only in bright
sunlight while some can survive well
even in low, diffused light.
● Home gardens can comprise
some kitchen gardening – i.e
vegetable plants – and some herbal
plants also besides ornamental
plants. Plumeria small tree Phlox
● Direction is very important in
plant selection for landscaping.
Heavy, thick-foliage trees or sun-
loving plants should be planted in the
north-western region.
● Humidity should also be
considered while selecting the plants.
Some plants are moisture-loving
while some like dry climates
● The flowering or foliage types
should be selected according to Bougainvillea climber Caladium hortulanum
one's preference. Generally, the
flowering plants require sufficient
sunlight for flowering. While foliage
plants can be grown indoors.
● The watering of plants should
be done according to the type of
plants. The succulent and cactus
require less amount of watering than
the other herbaceous types.
● The soil-media for growing
plants should be loamy with good Asperagus springer Crotan petra
drainage and sufficient organic Climbers: bougainvillea, clerode-
matter. ndron thompsoni, C. splendens,
● Regular fertilisation is a must quisqualis, star ipomea, etc.
for healthy plant growth. The plants Indoor plants: crotons, dieffen-
should be fertilised once in two bachia, philodendron, asparagus,
months. Besides, chemical fertilisers aralia, scheffelera, etc.
like urea, super phosphate, neem Sesonals: gazania, phlox,
cake, mustard cakes, etc. should be dianthus, marigold, sunflower, pansy,
used. etc.
Philodendron wendland Succulents: agave (dwarf), aloes,
Anthurium clarinervium ● Regular pruning should be crasssula, echeveiria, haworthia,
adopted to keep plants in proper sempervivum, etc.
shape and size. To live and enjoy a healthy, loving
and fresh life, there is need for love,
Some popular plants for care and respect towards our own
landscape gardening: nature, our home, our planet. Women
Bright colourful shrubs: can play an important role in building
hibiscus, ixora, tecoma stans, the green-friendly concept wherein
meyenia erecta, hemelia, etc. the kids can also be encouraged to
Fragrant flowers: plumeria, jui, grow plants.
mogra, night queen, Kamini, etc. By generating this awareness,
Palms: chrysalidocarpus (areca love towards plants will follow
palm), fishtail palm, chamaerops naturally, leading to environmental
humilis, howeia, phoenix, raphis conservation, an eco-friendly life and
excelsa, etc. ecological balance. We

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 73

 The Imprint
As Sahil’s detective work dug into the mysterious disappearance of the lovers, he
came up with an amazing discovery. By Kumud Bhatnagar
Part-2
useful information."
The story so far According to Sulbha, hearing that she couldn't
Childhood friends Yash Sharma and Janet Fernandes get the train reservations and was going back by the
later studied medicine together and fell in love. But bus, Yash insisted that she travelled with them.
they knew their otherwise devoted parents, being "Since I was already feeling jittery about
staunch Hindus and Roman Catholics, would never travelling alone in the night bus, I agreed. Janet, at
agree to their marriage. On their return trip from their that time, didn't say anything but disappeared soon
Pune convocation, their speeding car crashed into a after. Even Yash was seen enquiring about her from
truck and both its passengers were burnt beyond all and sundry. A little before the convocation
recognition. A year later, detective Sahil convinced function, Janet came to my room with a confirmed
both families that the bodies belonged to others. So train ticket. She said, as such, she had no objection
where were the medico lovebirds if alive? This is what to my travelling with them but she had already
he now sets out to discover. Now read on... booked a room for themselves at a small place on
the way and was not sure if there would be another

D
r Kumar couldn't tell them much except for room available for me. But, at the same time, she too
asserting that Yash was a non-drinker. didn't like me to travel by bus, hence went to an
Moreover, no liquor was served at the influential person to get train reservations for me. On
celebration party. Dr Rao told them that my asking who the influential person was, she said
Yash too had a job offer in the Middle East that he was a businessman with contacts even in the
and was quite serious about it. "Where middle and far east. Through him, she could arrange
exactly in the Middle East?" a job for Yash in a Gulf country.
Dr Rao shrugged his shoulders "I asked in surprise how Yash agreed to go to a
"That he didn't specify and I didn't ask either but, Gulf country when his ultimate goal was either the UK
on my asking how his parents would take or US. Janet said going to either of those
his going so far away, he reasoned that if "Why didn't places was not possible in the foreseeable
they could send him to Pune, a journey of you ask Sulbha future, nor it was possible for them to live
14 hours, why should they object to his without each other as they could not sneak
going to a place which was only a about name of to a private nest, once they were back in
2-3-hour flight. You can zero-in on a place the lodge where their hometown. She claimed to have
which boasts of a hospital with cardiac Yash and Janet mollified Yash to some extent but intended
facilities and in a journey of a mere 2-3 to seduce him that night to accept that job.
hours." were supposed That's why, without his knowledge, she
"Dr Rao perhaps doesn't know that to break the had booked a room at his favourite lodge
most places in the Middle East by air are journey?" on the highway. They used to often break
a journey of a mere journey there to enjoy the calm, serene
2-3-hours," Shikha remarked while Shikha asked tranquility of the place, especially the
coming out. afterwards. privacy of the swimming pool amidst the
"Still, he has given a clue. It’s not thick bushes.
difficult to locate a cardiologist in the Middle East if "All these months I often wondered how they
the need arises," Sahil replied. "Where'll we go could be on the road at that time when she had
now?" plans for a night halt. And, mind you, sleuth, Janet
"Let's go to Dr Sulbha first. She too had been was not the one to give her plans up so easily,"
wondering all the time about how Yash could ram Sulbha said looking at Sahil.
into a stationary truck. She might provide some "Do you know the name of the person who

74 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

booked your train ticket, doctor?" Sahil asked.
"No, but that ticket must still be in my purse as
nobody took it from me here at the station. Is it
possible to find out by showing the ticket who got it
booked?"
"A remote possibility is there, still I'll take the
chance. Hunt out the ticket please and then inform
me," Sahil said getting up. "Thank you very much,
doctor. You have indeed given some valuable
information."
"Why didn't you ask Sulbha about name of the
lodge where Yash and Janet were supposed to
break the journey?" Shikha asked afterwards.
Sahil looked at her admiringly.
"A good question indeed, Shikha. You deserve to
be a detective's wife."
"Thanks for the complement, Sahil. How about
taking me along when you go for further
investigations on the highway?"
"Well, that would indeed be a privilege.
Anyway, coming to your question, Jungle Hut is the
lodge on that highway which meet's Sulbha's
description. But, to be on the safe side before
embarking upon the journey, I'll confirm it from
Sulbha.”
"You may ask from Dr Nasreen, we are on our
way to her place now."
A
lthough Dr Nasreen appeared to be very
friendly and cordial, she claimed to have no
idea about their night halt and when Sahil
remarked that it could be the Jungle Hut she said it
couldn't be, as Janet didn't like its haunted look. She
also vehemently asserted that both Janet and Yash
couldn't be alive.
"People who perished in their car, must have
killed Yash and Janet and then fled at breakneck
speed from the scene of action."
"Agreed, but then what happened to their
bodies? No unclaimed body had been found in that
area during that period," Sahil pointed out.
"Some wild animals might have dragged them to
the jungle or the miscreants themselves might have
thrown them in the river and they must have floated
down beyond your jurisdiction."
"For your information, I am a private
detective without any jurisdiction and the
whole world is my oyster," Sahil said
softly. "We have a network of our
associates and branch offices.
Through vernacular media
and other sources, all
crime-related information
is e-mailed to all our
offices. In my files, I
didn't find any news of
unidentified bodies
being found during
LONG
that period. But you're
STORY
right, the possibility of their being thrown in
a uninhibited area cannot be ruled out. Tell
me, did Janet tell you about her acquiring a
job in the Middle East?"
"Yeah, she had an offer but was not
serious about it."
"Do you know through whom she got
it?"
"No, I don't know," Nasreen said stiffly.
"And what has it got to do with Janet's
untimely death?"
"A lot – not with her untimely death but
disappearance," Sahil's tone was equally stiff.
"Death in itself is an act of disappearance,"
Nasreen remarked and then requested to be
excused as it was time for her to go to the hospital.
As they came out of Nasreen's house, Shikha
remarked that coming over to this place served no
purpose.
"On the contrary, Nasreen unwittingly helped us
a lot, Shikha. Her assertion that Janet was not
interested in that Gulf job is wrong and proves that
she is shielding Janet. Shall I tell you another
interesting observation? The influential person
through whom Janet got the job for Yash and train
reservations for Sulbha is related to Nasreen.”
"Then why didn't you ask her about him?"
"As if she would have admitted it.
Don't worry, I have my own ways to
trace that person out because he is
the most vital link."
Shikha couldn't fully
comprehend all that
Sahil said but she
didn't want to
antagonise him by
asking too many
questions. Her parents
were quite against her
going alone with Sahil
but Shikha had assured them that at Pune she would
be staying with her friend Abha and Sahil at a
different place. Moreover, Sahil was investigating
unofficially and could face difficulties in getting co-
operation from people. But she being the deceased's
niece, could take advantage of sympathy. In the
evening, Sahil came with the travel plan. His plan
was to drive straight to the Jungle Hut. If the requisite
information was not available there, then to stop at
other tea stalls and motels etc. on the way to Pune or
otherwise go straight to Pune and, next day, question
the man with whose help Janet procured a job for
Yash.
"How did you get his address?" Shikha was
surprised.
Sahil smiled smugly.
"It's a trade secret but let me share it with you. I
sent one of my assistants to the telephone exchange
to scrutinise the available telephone bills of
Nasreen's father Mohammed Mukhtar Ahmad and
see if calls had been made to a certain Pune
number. My hunch paid off. Calls had often been
made to Pune on one particular number. My Pune
associates told me that the number belonged to Mr.
Irshaad Ali, the owner of an import and export firm.
That's enough for the time being. See you with the
first rays of the sun tomorrow."
S
hikha had expected Sahil to be quiet, rather
grim, during the drive but he seemed to be in a
jovial and talkative mood and the drive was fun
till they came to the Jungle Hut.
"Does the place look haunted, Shikha?" Sahil
asked.
"On the contrary, it looks a perfect backdrop for
a romantic stay," Shikha replied.
"Exactly. Now I am convinced that Nasreen was
trying to misguide me. Janet and Yash might be
patronising only this place. So we have to order an
elaborate lunch and linger over it to befriend the
waiter and extract maximum information
from him," Sahil remarked.
During the lunch, Sahil struck up a
friendship with the waiter, and asked him
how long he had been working there.
Lunch over, he liberally tipped the waiter
and then showed him Yash and Janet's
photographs saying that those people told
him to break journey at the Jungle Hut.
"How nice of them to say so, sir. They
were our regular customers but, during
their last stay, something very
unfortunate happened for the first time
in our lodge and they stopped
patronising us," the waiter said a
trifle sadly. Sahil meaningfully
looked at Shikha and asked the waiter,
"Why? What happened?"
"Their car was stolen, sir. We park our guests'
cars in the basement but Dr Sharma said that he
would be leaving within a few hours after some rest,
so we let the car remain in front of the main gate..."
"Oh, I see! Don't you have a night watchman?"
Sahil asked.
"We do have, sir. He had gone to the toilet and
when he came back, the car was not there. He
presumed that the party must have left and, when the
party looked for their car in the morning, it
transpired that the car had been stolen."
"Then hell might have broken loose?" Shikha
asked.
"Oh no, ma'am. Those people didn't blame the
watchman or the management saying that they had
left the car there at their own risk."
"But then, how did they go from here?"
"The owner of this lodge sent them in his own
car."
"Where?"
"That I don't know, sir," the waiter thought for a
moment then added. "They must have gone to the
nearest station because the driver was back with the
car soon."
"The food was so tasty that I have overeaten, so
want to sleep for some time. Waiter, could we get a
room for a short while? Find out from your manager,
please."
Shikha who was visibly excited with the waiter's
disclosure of Yash's car having been stolen, now
looked hurt – rather shocked.
"That shouldn't be a problem, sir. Still, I'll ask the
manager."
After the waiter left, Sahil turned to Shikha,
"I don't have any ulterior motives, Shikha. I am
not going to sleep but plan out the future
strategy."
"That we can do in the car itself,"
Shikha's tone was stiff.
"No, Shikha, my every move has got
to be precisely planned and jotted
down. Moreover, I am convinced that
Yash and Janet have disappeared with
Nasreen's help. If I fail to trace them on
my own, I have to confront Nasreen
and for that I have to win over the staff
of this lodge.”
The waiter came back with the
manager. "For how long do you
want the room, sir?"
"For a couple of hours at the
most."
"No problem and since you are
our esteemed customer Dr
Sharma's friend, we won't charge you anything. By The moment they reached near her home, Shikha
the way, sir where's Dr Sharma these days?" called home on her mobile to tell them to keep
"He is at Pune, very busy at his nursing home.” coffee ready for them.
"I see! That's why we haven't seen him lately, “Not for me, Shikha, I won’t be coming in,” Sahil
otherwise he was not one to stop patronising us," interrupted her.
the manager remarked. In the room, Sahil got busy Shikha looked at him quizzically, “Not even for
on his mobile. He was instructing someone. Hearing coffee?”
him adding that he would not be coming to Pune, “Not today. I’ll go straight home, take a shower,
Shikha was intrigued. She impatiently waited for him have a light supper and hit the sack,” Sahil said
to finish the conversation and, before he could dial stopping the car in front of her house. “Okay,
another number, she asked if they were going to Shikha, see you tomorrow.” “Do come in for a few
stay there overnight. minutes, Sahil, otherwise mummy will feel bad,”
"No, we'll go back. I got the Shikha implored.
information I wanted. I'll bring you to stay “It is confirmed “She shouldn’t with a sleuth son-in-law.
here overnight after our marriage." that while Yash Please tell her I’ll come for dinner
"Thank you so much for unasked-for and Janet were tomorrow,” Sahil planted an indifferent
benevolence, Sahil, but won't you kiss on her earlobe.
question Irshaad Ali?" sleeping in a Shikha was perplexedly looking at the
"That would be a sheer waste of time. lodge, their fast- disappearing car when she felt a soft
Nasreen must have already warned him car was stolen touch on her shoulder. It was Uncle
and he would be on his guard. I have to and the lodge Raghav. He looked at her expectantly.
make a few more calls. After that, we'll Before she could speak, others too came
have tea and start back for home. owner got them out and Dilip asked. “How successful was
Meanwhile, if you like, you can freshen dropped to the the trip?”
up," and once again he got busy on his nearest railway “It is confirmed that while Yash and
mobile. station.” Janet were sleeping in a lodge, their car
was stolen and the lodge owner got them

A
ll Shikha could make out was that he instructed dropped to the nearest railway station in his car.”
various people to contact passport offices and
foreign consulates of their cities. After that, he
called room service for tea and went in the toilet to
freshen up.
“Sahil, why didn’t you ask for the driver who
drove them to the nearest station?” Shikha couldn’t
help asking while having tea.
“Do you feel they still might be sitting on the
platform or staying in that small place either? Nor is
there any possibility of their divulging their plans to
anyone, and I don’t want to unnecessarily question
anyone. Don’t worry, my associates would shortly
trace Yash out and you can have all these details
straight from the horse’s mouth,” Sahil replied
breezily. Shikha looked at him in disbelief.
“Is it so simple, I mean so easy, Sahil?”
“When it is proved that they did not perish in the
car fire, naturally they had migrated to the Middle
East. Exactly where, my associates would let you
know soon. Let’s make a move now so that I can
drop you home at a respectable hour,” Sahil said
getting up. “One thing more, Shikha, I don’t talk
about a closed case and, as far I am concerned,
Yash and Janet’s case is closed. My investigations
are over and I am waiting for the results.”
Although not convinced, Shikha decided not to
probe further. As they were in a hurry to reach
home, they didn’t stop for refreshments on the way.
“That means Yash is alive!” Aunty Anita cried in
excitement. “Where did he go from the railway
station? Any idea?”
Shikha shrugged her shapely shoulders.
“Sahil didn’t try to find out but made many calls
to his associates and declared that his investigations
were over. The case is closed for him and he never
discusses a closed case. Search me, if I know how
he could close the case without knowing the
whereabouts of Yash and Janet.”
“Why didn’t you ask him?” Dilip demanded.
“How could I after that cryptic declaration?”
Shikha replied and went to her room. Sandhya
followed her.
“Is that all? Or are you hiding something,
Shikha?” she looked straight into Shikha’s eyes.
Shikha met her gaze.
“It’s nothing of the sort, mom, you’re presuming.
Sahil is a thorough gentleman but, as far as his
profession is concerned, he is stubborn and
confident, excessively – overconfident perhaps.”
Sandhya heaved an audible sigh of relief, then
said, “Those are his professional problems, rather
traits, Shikha. The best for you to do is to keep away
from probing. Remember, if you want a hassle-free
existence, never divulge your domestic trivia to him
and never show interest in his vocational trifles.”
“Okay, mom,” Shikha said resignedly. “What do

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 77

Aunty Anita and Uncle Raghav intend to do now?”
“No idea. You freshen up, then come and sit
with them for some time.”
To Shikha’s surprise, both Raghav and Anita were
quite cool about Sahil’s attitude.
“He would himself contact us whenever he has
information worth sharing. We won’t disturb him on
our own,” Raghav said firmly.
“Sahil will come over dinner for tomorrow, so
uncle and aunty you too please come. He may
divulge something,” Shikha said.
Anita pondered for some time.
“If Sahil shows any inclination to meet us or tells
you something interesting, Shikha, do phone us to
come over. Meanwhile, this assurance that Yash did
not perish in the fire is enough for us to bless you
and Sahil.” Shikha’s eyes moistened. Aunty Anita
still must be simmering in an unimaginable agony. If
Yash was alive, then where was he and in what
condition? Although Sahil had never let her down,
Shikha had a feeling that, today, Sahil may not keep
the appointment. But Sahil, as usual, came at the
right time. He was looking quite relaxed, although
he suggested to Dilip to organise an excursion to the
Jungle Hut but refrained from mentioning Yash’s
name. Since Raghav and Anita decided not to
question Sahil, others also decided to do the same.
D
inner over, the family left Sahil and Shikha
alone to chat. After some time, Sahil’s mobile
rang. He was quite excited to see the number
but his face fell on hearing whatever the caller told
him.
“Get me copies of all the mobile and telephone
bills of Irshaad Ali, Nasreen and Mukhtar Ahmad.
Get me this information before noon tomorrow,” he
instructed.
Shikha couldn’t control herself any more and
asked, “What happened, Sahil? Couldn’t your men
trace Yash and Janet?”
“They haven’t left India. Where they are in India,
we’ll know from the telephone bills I have asked for.
Janet must be certainly in touch with Nasreen.”
“Supposing she is not, then?” Shikha persisted.
“Then we have to resort to the old formula of
getting their photographs published nationwide, and
announcing a reward to the informer. But I don’t
think we need to do that. I’ll come to your office
during lunch break tomorrow.” Sahil brought her
hand to his lips and got up. “Have a nice sleep luv.
Good night.” Shikha felt cheated. A real prankster –
creates suspense and then chills out leaving you
simmering in curiosity!
Whenever Sahil had to work late, he would meet
her during lunch break but today she was not
interested in meeting him. Suppose he tells her half
of what he learnt about Yash and Janet, she
wouldn’t be able to concentrate on her work. But
before she could tell this to Sahil, he phoned her.
“Listen, Shikha, things have taken an interesting turn.
Do take up. I am coming in 15 minutes to pick you.”
B
efore she could react, he disconnected.
Although peeved, she took half day’s leave and
came to the office gate. Within minutes, Sahil
came. He smilingly opened the door for her and
then drove quietly till he found a place to park the
car. He then switched on his mobile, handed it to
Shikha saying, “Listen to the other party without
uttering a word or making a sound.”
More suspense! Shikha irritatedly took the mobile
but was thrilled to hear Yash’s voice, “Hi..., hello,
Nasreen... hello...” Sahil almost snatched the phone
from her.
“Are you sure Yash was at the other end?” Shikha
nodded her head in affirmation.
“Where’s he?” was all she could ask in a choked
voice.
“In Sopore, a saffron-growing area of Kashmir,
near Srinagar. How he reached there, Nasreen will
tell us. We’re going to her place.”
“Before that, shouldn’t we tell Aunty
Anita?”
“No, Shikha, not before
ascertaining that Yash is hale and
hearty. It is only my presumption
that Yash and Janet crashed the car
to do the vanishing trick.”
“It is not a presumption but a fact,
Sahil, but how did they
manage to land up in far-
off Kashmir?”
“Let’s get it straight
from the horse’s –
rather
mare’s – mouth. Nasreen has to tell us
everything now, including whether Yash
was a willing party or forced to yield.”
“Must have gone willingly, Sahil. He
was adamant to share his life with Janet
even at the cost of being disowned by his
parents.”
For a split second Nasreen was
flabbergasted to see them again but,
regaining her composure, she taunted,
“So you’re still flogging the dead horses.”
“It would be wrong to claim that Sahil
revived the horses back to life as they
were never dead,” Shikha retorted. “How
they reached Sopore, we want to hear
from you, doctor.”
In the case, both were going to shock their
respective parents with their decision to
circumstances, marry out of their religions and would
Sopore was the certainly be disowned by them. The grief
of death was any time better than the
best hideout.
shock of desertion and disobedience by
Luckily, they the children.
both like rather “Uncle advised them to go to Kashmir
till he could arrange new passports for
love the place them. Being an exporter of saffron and
and seem to be carpets, Irshaad uncle knows affluent and
enjoying their influential people in Kashmir. He
immediately arranged for Yash and Janet
stay there. to work in a local hospital.
Both have told uncle that they are quite
happy there and he need not bend over backwards
to get them new passports. Anyway, what do you

T
he colour drained from Nasreen’s face. Before
she could react, Sahil spoke, “I know, doctor,
Janet and Yash have gone to Sopore with your
Irshaad uncle’s help. If you won’t tell us the truth, I’ll
get it the same way I learnt of their being in Sopore
instead of the Middle East. If you tell me the truth, I
promise you’ll come to no harm. Helping in an act of
elopement is a punishable offence you must be
aware.”
“Who told you all this?” Nasreen asked
resignedly.
“Oh, come on, Nasreen, don’t you know my man
is a sleuth? From a mere glance at Yash’s teeth
imprint, he was certain that the charred body in the
car was not that of Yash,” Shikha replied smugly.
“Since you already know this much, you must be
also knowing why the duo went into hiding – rather
hibernation.”
“For that one need not be a detective, Nasreen.
Everyone loves a lover. All I want to know is how all
this happened, and are Yash and Janet free to leave
Sopore whenever they like?” Sahil asked.
“Oh yes, they are not under custody, or any bond
to work there for a specific period either. Since they
were not carrying their passports with them, they
couldn’t go abroad. In the circumstances, Sopore
was the best hideout. Luckily, they both like – rather
love – the place and seem to be enjoying their stay
there. Now, to your first question, as to how all this
happened. After the theft of their car, they both left in
the lodge owner’s vehicle for the nearest police
station to lodge the complaint of the theft and then
proceeded homewards. But, on the way they learnt
about the ghastly accident involving their car, and
changed their plans. They went back to Pune, to
Irshaad uncle to be exact. Since uncle was already
aware of their plight and trying to find jobs for them
in the Middle East through his contacts, he also
appreciated their plans. Uncle conceded that, in any
intend doing to make their respective parents yield
to their children’s happiness?”
“I’ll only apprise them about the whereabouts of
their children and why they took advantage of the
situation. How they tackle the situation is their
problem,” was Sahil’s cryptic reply. We
Libra Launches
Coir Mattress
Libra International Ltd. has
launched a Coir Mattress in the
name of “Hamara” Mattress.
Hamara mattress made from
Natural Coir fibre on top and
bottom with high density foam in
the middle for a sound sleep.
Company is using 15mm quilted
100 per cent Cotton Fabric for extra comfort in these
mattresses.
Hamara Coir mattresses contain layers made from the
coir fibre, taken from the husk of a coconut. Hamara coir
mattress is a good choice for many reasons. Coir is a
completely natural fibre and very much eco-friendly.
Among all the benefits it offers, the most important ones
are the ability of ventilation and moisture-reducing
capacity. It also absorbs heat and that makes it a
wonderful mattress. One can also feel a sense of calmness
and relaxation while lying on a Hamara coir mattress.
Hamara mattress is one of the most versatile products
in terms of economy. The company is making all
standard sizes of mattress. There is one-year guarantee
on these mattresses. A pair of Hamara Coir Mattress
(Size-72X36) is available for Rs. 5,746/- MRP (Inclusive
Tax) Nationwide.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 79


A breathtaking display of sparklers that light up the
spectacular film. By Venkateswarlu Kolluru
VIJAYAWADA: It's an occasion for
celebrating the memorable 16th-
century jewellery.
he visitors admired the
T
seamlessly blended traditi -
onal motifs and techniques
used in the making of the
jewellery, which speaks
volumes for the connoisseur-
ship, glamour and allure of
the Mughals. That was
Tanishq's Jodhaa-Akbar
Jewellery Exhibition held in
the South-Asian central city,
Vijayawada, on 24 and 25 May 2008.
Precious ornaments, ranging from
elaborate neckwear, rings, bangles
80
JODHAA AKBAR
JEWELLERY GLITTERED!
and earrings to chains, were
displayed. The King Bharmal set,
Jodhaa's tourmaline set, wedding
set, navaratna set, Akbar's durbar set
and wedding set were among them.
Queen Jodhaa's 12-piece head-to-
toe jewellery set that includes
jhumkis, naths, hath phools , rings
and pendants were the most eye-
catching.
The organisers said an order for
jewellery placed at the exhibition
included vaddanam as well. "A
visitor, impressed by the Jodhaa's
peacock hansli set, placed an order
for the same," said Jogu Prasad,
local franchisee of Tanishq, the
jewellery brand of the Tata group that
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
manufactured the jewellery for the
film and organised the exhibition
here. About seven-eight orders that
included the entire Navaratna set
costing around Rs 14 lakh were also
placed. "The entire collection is
amazing. But, I particularly liked
Emperor Akbar's sword very much,"
said the Tanishq people.
"This is no ordinary sword. The
best kaarigars (craftsmen) of the
country toiled for nearly a year to
create the magnificent ceremonial
31/2 foot and 20-kg sword," pointed
out Ms Prasad.
"The jewellery, definitely, reflects
the extensive field research done by
the makers in Rajasthan and Gujarat
to understand the nuances of the art
form," said G. Saudamini, a visitor
who saw the movie three times.
The collection was put together by
design and production teams and
more than 200 kaarigars.
OPULENT JEWELLERY
Tanishq worked in collaboration
with Chitrakala Parishad for 6 months
and did in-depth research on Mughal
and Rajput history, tradition, culture
and jewellery, explained Ms Prasad.
"It's opulent jewellery, very
impressive,” commented Namitha, a
student of Siddhartha Public School,
while her brother Bhargav felt that the
jewellery looked lovelier in the film
than in the exhibition. Vijayawada,
incidentally, was chosen as one of
the five cities to organise it.
The collection included nearly 200
pieces of jewellery that were
intricately crafted in pure gold, and
brilliantly embossed with precious
and semi-precious stones in kundan
and meenakari techniques.
The jewellery line includes the
sarpech (feather pin), archer's ring,
arsi (mirror ring), bhor (head jewel
like an Indian tikka ) and hansali
(choker). As these pieces will not be
of use to a contem porary Indian
female, I guess it makes sense that
Tanishq has decided not to sell
them. Around 400 kg of gold
along with emeralds, pearls,
rubies, tourmaline and jade
stones had been worked on by
200 craftsmen. Thirteen and
eight ensembles were made for
Ash and Hrithik, respectively.
Painstaking research had
gone into crafting the jewellery
in as authentic a manner as
possible. Twenty designers
met with the king of Kishangarh
and went through various
archives to get a vivid idea of
the jewellery in vogue then. It
took 12 designers and 200
craftsmen two years to bring
the jewellery into existence,
according to Tanishq. The
much-talked about wedding
trousseau set that Aishwarya
had worn in the movie is
encrusted with rubies. Designer
Ruchi said that colour red was the
colour of the Rajputs and all the
jewellery worn by the Rajputs in the
movie has rubies on them. The set
weighs more than 4 kg. "Ash loved
the jewellery and did not complain
about the weight," Tanishq authorities
said.
Akbar's wedding ensemble was
breathtaking. Green being the colour
of the Mughals, it was resplendent
with emeralds and pearls. The set
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
had to reflect the glory of the emperor
and hence was extraordinarily
opulent.
METICULOUS
DETAILING
The pieces exuded drama,
glamour and luxury and meticulous
attention was given to details. For
instance, the finger ring worn by
Akbar to protect his thumb during
archery, has the motif of an elephant
inside. The swan set, which
Akbar gives Jodhaa on the
occasion of their wedding, has
meenakari detailing behind it.
The designers used the
swan motif in the necklace to
represent the peaceful union
of two cultures and dynasties.
Another unique feature of the
swan set, according to
Sangeeta Dewan, head of
design, is that asymmetrical
stones had been used to
achieve symmetry.
The piece de resistance of
the collection, Akbar's sword,
took 10 months to make. The
sword has elephant and lotus
motifs. The elephant motif
symbolises the masculinity and
strength of Akbar, while
the lotus stands for purity of
mind. We
81
CULTIVATE THE
PAT-ON-THE-BACK
Compliments to spouses work wonders in
marital lives. By Shantha Nagarajan
ppreciation is something
A
most of us crave.
Encouraging expressions,
appreciative gestures and
warm acknowledgements
form the basis of a healthy
relationship between a
husband and wife. A man
or woman goes by the
spouse’s words of praise
when due. Norman Vincent Peale,
the exponent of positive thinking,
offers the following advice to couples
aiming at a trouble-free married life:
“One of the most basic drives in
human nature is the craving to be
appreciated. Remember this and
82
TECHNIQUE
follow it and you have nipped much
married trouble at its root.”
Be generous in acknowledging
her merits for achieving close -
ness: The husband who accom -
plishes something in his business or
career, wants appreciation from his
wife. When he has worked all day
long and comes home tired, it is a
serious mistake for his wife to take it
all for granted. It is easy to say, “I am
proud of you.” It will do wonders for
him. If the dinner is good, let the man
compliment her culinary skills. He
has enjoyed the fruit of her labour in
the kitchen, relished it silently and
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
goes off without a single utterance of
satisfaction.
This kind of insensitivity to her
need for appreciation would dampen
the wife’s spirits and affect her
efficiency. If this attitude of taking her
labour for granted persists,
resentment builds up within her,
leading to soured ties.
Fed up with her husband’s habit
of picking holes in whatever she does
and slighting her hard work, Shilpa,
an exasperated housewife, laments,
“These men take everything for
granted. If only they knew how
eagerly we women would work
ourselves to the bone for a few words
of praise!” Let the insensitive men
take note of the truth contained in this
lament.
Blame game – relationship
wrecker: Do not develop the habit of
seeing the things that are wrong.
Condition your attention to the things
that are right, it will do her a world of
good.
According to John Gray, author of
A Guide for Enriching Relationships,
a mistake commonly made by
women is not acknowledging what he
does for her but complains about
what he has not done. In such a
situation the husband feels taken for
granted and unloved. It is these trifles
that drill holes into marital harmony
and finally sink the dream boat which
a little more understanding, a little
more appreciation, could have kept
afloat.
Great issues develop from small
beginnings. A lack of appreciation
which reveals itself in commonplace
things may grow until it becomes a
very great divisive factor.
In a husband-wife relation -
ship, blaming does not work.
Understanding trust, com -
passion, acceptance and
support are the solutions and
not blaming our partners.
“When I felt loved by my
family, not only did I feel more
confident but others also trusted
and appreciated me more,” says
Suresh, a businessman whose
modest attempts to meet the
demands of the home always
receive his wife’s encourage -
ment and approval.
On the other hand, Kavita, a
middle-aged housewife whose
expectations from married life
were not realised, keeps on
nagging her husband, a man of
modest means, because he
can’t afford to provide her with
the luxuries that the neighbours
keep boasting about. She made
him feel inferior by regularly
talking down to him, and the
result is mutual recrimination
and damage which has taken a
heavy toll on their marital
happiness. The outcome would
be happier if the wife told the hubby
what “a sweet, loving husband you
are. Other husbands just moan – but
look what a jewel I’ve got!” This
approach is bound to succeed.
In the beginning, couples flush
with enthusiasm and excitement
usually present a picture of mutual
admiration and trust but once the
excitement wanes, they go into the
shell of nonchalance, ego and
resentment.
John Gray says, “In the beginning
of a relationship a woman gives a
man a brief look that says you could
be the one to make me happy.
Unfortunately, once they are in a
relationship and as the problems
begin to emerge, she doesn’t know
how important that message still is to
him and neglects to send it.”
Hence, psychologists advocate
the ‘pat-on-the-back’ technique. Give
a pat every now and then to show
your appreciation of your spouse’s
contributions to the family.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
A PAT ON THE BACK
FROM THE SPOUSE IS
LIKE A TONIC, AND
THIS TECHNIQUE
SHOULD BE
CULTIVATED IN OUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH
THE SPOUSE.
Adopt the pat-on-the-back
technique: A pat on the back from
the spouse is like a tonic, and this
technique should be cultivated in our
relationship with the spouse.
To become motivated, he needs
to feel appreciated, trusted and
accepted. Not to be needed is a slow
death for a man. So, instead of
blaming a man for giving less, a
woman can accept and forgive her
partner’s imperfections especially
when he disappoints her, and
encourage him to give more by
appreciating what he gives and
continuing to ask for his
support.
When a woman’s reactions
reveal a positive belief in her
man’s attitudes and intentions
his first primary love need is
fulfilled. Automatically, he is
more caring and attentive to her
feelings and needs, and is
motivated to respect his partner
more. She needs to be
particularly attentive to
appreciate the little things he
does for her. With a smile and
thanks, she can let him know
he has scored a point. He
needs this to continue giving.
When you express tender
feelings, don’t sound phony.
Learn to express tender
feelings. As your tender side
emerges, closeness with your
spouse increases. Armed with
the technique for motivating
and close bonding, go ahead
with the wooing game, plug the
leaks and cracks and firm up
sag in your relationship. We
83
 B O M B AY F I L M D O M

f Kambakkth Ishq did not get three-
Istar ratings from leading critics,
Sajid Nadiadwala has not lost his
sleep, for a producer’s primary
concern is box-office collection and
the film is reported to have grossed
Rs 100 crore already! How much
exaggeration is there in this figure,
only Sajid knows.
he astounding success of New
T York has come as a major
surprise. What’s more the film has
been declared as one of the only two
hit films of the first half of the year
2009 which is a poor tally.
he success of a film helps
T everyone associated with the film,
John Abraham and Neil Nitin in
‘New York’ flick.
Anil Kapoor pays fine.
but John Abraham and Neil Nitin
Mukesh are getting lion’s share for
New York’s fantastic performance.
The film is sure to give a boost to
both the actors.
thanks to her hard work, good
performances in her starrers and the
high goals she has set for herself.
She’s perfect foil to Akshay Kumar in
Kambakkth Ishq.
ust as columbus discovered
J America by chance director
Ramesh Sippy also discovered late
Amjad Khan by chance. As a matter
of fact, when Ramesh was finalising
the cast of Sholay, one of the biggest
blockbusters of Bombay filmdom, he
had Danny in mind for the role of
Gabbar Singh. But it so happened
that Danny was out of Bombay,
shooting for another film. Ramesh
happened to see a play in Bandra, a
suburb of Bombay. When he saw the
Danny was the first choice as Gabbar
Singh in ‘Sholay’.

f one may say so, it was a wise

I decision taken by actor-producer
Anil Kapoor to agree to cough up a
fine of Rs 35 lakh and pay the
amount to another producer B. S.
Bhullar who claimed to have
copyright over the title Short Kut –
The Con is on produced by Anil. Anil
Kapoor’s first concern was the
earliest release of his film.

areena Kapoor is undoubtedly in

K a league of her own today,

84 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

Kareena Kapoor is a
perfect foil in
‘Kambakkth Ishq’.
 t was indeed in the fitness of things
I that legendary director late Bimal
Roy, was recently remembered on
his birthday (12th July). His classic
films Devdas and Do Bigha Zameen
are among the best in Hindi films.

t’s indeed good for both Vikram,

I reigning hero of South film industry
and a National Award winner and
Hindi film industry that he is doing his
first Hindi film Raavan directed by
Mani Rathnam. Such a talented
young man should indeed be
welcomed in Hindi films.

hat determination and dedication

Shruti Haasan in ‘Luck’.
performance of Amjad, he thought he
need not wait for Danny’s return and
assigned the role to Amjad. One
man’s loss is another’s gain. Right?
f Shruti Haasan has even a fraction
Iof the talent her redoubtable father
Kamal Hassan has, she may well be
successful as an all-rounder rather
than getting typed in a particular type
of roles. We’ll have a good glimpse of
her talent in her first film Luck.
his writer can well recall a long
T chat with Danny in Rajkamal
studio, Mumbai. When I was through
with the interview and wanted to
leave, Danny requested me to stay
for a while so that he could talk a little
more about his career. I agreed. Over
another cup of tea, Danny told me
“you are the only journalist who didn’t
ask me about my girlfriends.” I smiled
and said “I am concerned with your
professional life and not your
personal life.”
T pay is amply proved by the
success story of Ravi Kissan, who
will also be seen in Luck. When he
met this writer years ago in Mumbai
he was doing hit roles, but today he
is one of the most popular stars of
Bhojpuri films.
Ravi Kissan can be seen in ‘Luck’.
ome people are always on the go,
S they want to take a step forward,
rather than rest on their laurels
proof? Gauhar Khan, ex-model and
VJ, is making a debut as an actor,
with Yash Raj Films’ Rocket Singh –
Salesman of the Year. With a bit of
good luck, she’s likely to go far.
Arshad Warsi in ‘Kaun Bola’.
ne cannot resist complimenting
O good old Mithun Chakraborty
that he defied his age and readily
agreed to do a risky shot-jumping
from a chopper – for Luck.
R emember Arshad Warsi who
shared stellar honours with
Sanjay Dutt in one or two films? He
has taken a step ahead and made
his debut as a producer with Kaun
Bola, a romantic comedy. He shot a
scene for the film in New Castle
Street in London.
hen one has made it big,
W honours follow one by one.
Music director A. R. Rahman who
bagged two Oscar awards for his
music in Slumdog Millionaire was
also honoured with an honorary
doctorate from Middle Sex University.
Rahman has done India proud.
A. R. Rahman – double honours.

hen it comes to daredevilry,

W Sanjay Dutt was not far behind
Mithun: blind folded and with his
hands tied at the back, he jumped
from a running train while shooting
for Luck. He said he was itching for
action, so he agreed to do the stunt!
Sanjay Dutt in a daredevilry act,
blind folded in the film ‘Luck’.

86 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

 f one may say so Shaktida’s soul
I must indeed be thanking the soul of
late Dadamoni (Ashok Kumar) who
advised him decades ago to take to
direction rather than acting.
Acceptance of sincere, friendly
advice resulted in making Shaktida a
prodigious film-maker, and quite a
few films made by him turned out to
be superhits. A few of hit films are
Howrah Bridge, Kashmir Ki kali and
Amar Prem.
Madhuri Dixit – a lake has been
wo films-old Sonam Kapoor must
named after her.

adhuri Dixit, one of the most

T have been pleasantly shocked
when her father Anil Kapoor (who
M successful actors in Hindi films,
may not be very busy shooting these
went global with Slumdog Millionaire)
flew into Mumbai from Los Angeles to Anjana Sukhani in ‘Jashnn’.
days, but honours and distinctions
follow her. A lake close to the Indo- Bombay filmdom can be truly proud
China border has been named after of. Although almost retired after
her. Reportedly some locals didn’t settling down in life, she continues to
like this, but that’s another matter. take interest in the welfare of female
children. Years ago she had adopted
retrospective of late Shakti two girls. An actress with a heart of
A Samanta’s films
commenced with his award-winning
was gold!

Hindi film Amar Prem (1972) at New hat Saif Ali Khan declared and
Delhi’s Siri Fort Auditorium on
11 July. Shaktida made an
W did a few years ago – establish
himself as a sole star with him,
impressive tally of 37 films in Hindi newcomer Anjana Sukhani wants to
and 6 films in Bengali. do with her solo-act in Jashnn – The
Music within made by Vishesh Films.
A damn good-looking young girl, she
has every chance of achieving her
goal.

t’s not only the producer of a film

Sonam Kapoor loves her father
Anil Kapoor.
be with his doting daughter on her
birthday and then the whole family
left for Macau. She may have been
tempted to say Baap ho to aisa!
riyanka Chopra, one of the most
P successful actors in Bombay
filmdom today, was recently invited
I who wants to make a profit on his
investment in a film, a conscientious
director as a ‘captain of the ship’ also
wants to make a successful
commercial film. No wonder
therefore, the director of Love Aaj kal
Imtiaz Ali was keen on having a
kissing scene in the film. It can surely
help the film at the box office. Right?

to the Shanghai International Film hyam Benegal may not have

Festival for the closing ceremony
and honoured with festival’s top
award her tenth award, in the past
six months! Wow.
aveena Tandon (of Dulhe Raja
R fame) is one of the actors
Priyanka Chopra – honoured at
Shanghai International Film Festival.
S made tonloads of money like
many other film makers, but he has
the unique distinction of making
some films – Nishant, Mandi,
Bhumika and Manthan which have
been highly appreciated both at
home and abroad. He has received
many awards.
– Deepak Puri.
 lying high, ready to suit and

F
happy at the attention incited
by a loud laugh may boost
your ego while holding a
glass of wine in your hand. A
thousand pictures of
fashionably dressed women
might excite your imagination
of being on a certain level you
want to reach or want to
emulate — all this could prompt you
to pick up a drink or two for a feel-
good reason.
Today’s modern society believes
in making one’s own rules and the
rules are bent only for a few
guidelines — “don’t drink and drive”
and “drink little when you are
pregnant”. But today’s young
generation, specially urban women,
have taken to drinking out of their
own choice. Economic and family
pressures don’t allow them to
de-stress easily and to get over with
the situation or a problem or for the
plain reason to “loosen up”, one
tends to have a drink while rural
women are still having an “open
knee” attitude of having a family and
looking after home and kids without
other deviations.
Sunayna is a computer
professional who started drinking
occasionally for company’s sake.
After she got married she left her job
to look after the kids and family. But
whenever the husband and wife

Liquor and ladies,

do the two go together?
By Aruna Anand

WHY MORE AND MORE

WOMEN ARE
DRINKING
socialised, Sunayna felt uncom -
fortable in the presence of working
women and even when the guests
were coming to their home she would
feel anxious. Therefore, just to feel
more comfortable in front of
outsiders, she started having a drink
so that the party begins with a bang.
It worked for some time but then
she started drinking fast and would
refill her glass with vodka, wine or gin
a number of times. Her inner stress
manifested itself in other areas of her
life. She became lazy, put on fat and
was often short of breath while
climbing stairs and even at times
while talking.
Sunayna went to her doctor and
was diagnosed as suffering from
depression. She was advised to
consult a psychiatrist to treat her
depression. She was able to stop
drinking and come out of her deep
depression after a long treatment.
She regained control of her personal
and professional life, made some
modifications and is happy with
herself now. She does drink but
knows when to stop.
ALCOHOL – SOAKED
SOCIETY
No doubt, ours is an alcohol-
socked society where even deities
are offered alcohol. As it is said,
“Excess of everything is bad”,
drinking is a big pleasure for a lot of
people. But if alcohol is consumed in
a controlled manner it is a social
lubricant.
The atmosphere eases off fast,
the party gets started well because
everybody gets relaxed soon and
starts enjoying themselves. This is
said to be good for the heart, good
for digestion and a positive
stimulation of the human mind.
But the moment you go overboard
and lose control, alcohol possesses
you all over. Generally, men drink
more than women whether urban or
rural. But in women’s case, the
drinking habit could be circumstantial
due to any kind of stress related to
personal or professional reasons.
There was a time when drinking was
associated with “bad and fast” girls.
But with the feminist movement of the
’60s and ’70s and due to worldwide
exposure to other societies and
countries, raising a toast and
consuming alcohol started becoming
common. Women are overworked
and overstressed due to their
extreme ambitiousness which makes
it very difficult to create a balance
between personal and professional
areas.
Thus, having a drink reflects the
“liberation ethics” and women see
drinking as a way of expressing
independence and “worldliness.”
Media advertising has also played a
role showing attractive healthy
couples frolic on the beach.
Glamorous and attractive ads too are
geared to appeal to all ages of
women and men that drinking is okay
for everyone. Young girls take to
drinking as one way to look cool and
appear natural enough to take their
own decisions.
Some women, young or old, think
about the positive physical effect of
drinking that it lightens and relaxes
their mind and body. But alcohol can
have all sorts of influences on a
woman’s physique. Female anatomy
cannot tolerate alcohol as well as a
male’s.
Women get drunk faster than men
and even stay drunk longer. And,
specially in and around the
menstruation time, if drinks are
consumed, one tends to get drunk
faster because of the hormones
upheaval, whereby the alcohol gets
concentrated faster in the body.
Drinking is very harmful to those
under treatment for diabetes.
To enjoy drinking it is important to
know how it affects our body. Alcohol
gets into the bloodstream through the
liver and reaches every part of the
body. Every organ shows change in
its function due to excessive alcohol
effects shown here:
● Liver cirrhosis, cancer and
hepatitis.
● Gastro-intestinal effect —
nutritional deficiency, ulcer,
diarrhoea, etc.
● Pancreas — pancreatitis.
● Throat — distinct voice change.
● Nervous system — for good reasons, if any.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
unsteadiness, tingling in toes and
fingers, numbness in hands and feet.
● Strained, puffy eyes, dilated
blood vessels, fast ageing of the face
due to dryness.
● Immunity – resistance to
infection is decreased.
● Heart — heart attacks, high
blood pressure.
● Foetal effect — pregnant
mothers, if drinking, can pass the
alcohol effect to the unborn child
which can develop multiple physical
and nervous system complications
with blood disorders. Any alcohol
which crosses the placenta increases
the risk of abnormality in the child.
Women should keep off liquor if they
are pregnant because smoking and
drinking are both extremely harmful
to the child.
NO SAFE DRINKING
In fact, there is no safe drinking or
safe limit of alcohol. It all depends on
the man or woman’s mental and
physical response. No doubt, a drink
makes you happy and removes
inhibitions but to be uninhibited in a
wrong place and at a wrong time can
be disastrous as much as to affect
the whole life. The brain’s ability to
access the other’s behaviour, sexual
advances, attention and reflex
actions and to react to any wrong
instance is always undesirable
alcohol effect.
Moreover, a drunken man can be
taken as that he is letting off his
steam but a drunken woman is a
game for everyone. She is loose,
pitiable, stupid and available for any
repercussion. Drunken women who
don’t have self-control lose self-
respect and are always left by their
partners.
There is no harm in asking
yourself these questions:
● Why do you want a drink?
● Are you drinking because you
are unhappy or sad?
● Do you want a drink because
you are getting bored or you have
nothing else to do?
You should be conscious of your
need for wanting a drink. Drink only
We
89

AN ARTIST
WITH DISTINCTION
SRUSHTI
She has launched a new form
of “line-ism”. Gayatri T Rao
xplore your body and mind
E
and it will take you through
the journey of exploring
various emotions felt by the
mind and different body
postures followed in yoga. It
is an essential amalgamation
of the mind’s perception and
the detachment from the
material world by following
the ancient form of control. The
colours brilliantly explode and
capture not only the eyes but also the
senses and transform the observer
into a parallel world. That’s what you
can say of Srushti’s art.
Born in Lonavala’s naval base INS
Shivaji to a naval-officer father and
central schoolteacher mother, she
has an elder brother, who is a major
and Sena Medal holder. Her father
took a premature retirement and went
into the oil industry. Srushti’s
husband, Mandar Rao runs his own
ad agency. They have been married
for the last six years.
Srushti did her bachelor’s in fine
90
:
arts (paintings) from
Khirragarh University,
which is now in
Chhattisgarh. Of her
institute, she says, “It
has been renamed
Indira Kala Sangeet
Vishwavidyalaya,
which is, as I ideas… without keeping
understand, older than
the J J School of Arts
as well.”
When and how did you realise
that you are an artist?
I knew I had a creative streak
since I was a child. I started colouring
from the age of 2-21/2. I had this huge
collection of colouring books. I
started with pencil colours and then
crayons, then pastels and then it
went on to tube colours. After that
came the oils. That’s how I grew in
my colouring.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
It is like a typical student, I
suppose. Most people tend to
eventually leave art. But you
continued.
Yes, I continued. I would rather
coloured than study. That’s how my
childhood was. And colouring was
not the only thing I did. I also stitched
a lot of clothes in a creative manner
for my doll. It was something that my
parents had not seen any child doing.
Initially they thought that probably I’ll
be a fashion designer. That didn’t
happen (she laughs).
You left a successful corporate
career and chose being an artist.
Why?
As a child, colours and forms
always intrigued me. I would try to
translate them in my own childish
form. I would cut colourful papers,
make clothes, make houses from
Lego… but nothing could hold me
back. The decision to graduate in fine
arts came rather suddenly as my
parents would have rather seen me
as a management postgraduate.
They nonetheless supported me.
I developed as an artist during my
college years. After college,
advertising was the first choice to
explore the creative brain. However,
somehow, things started
moving in another direction
and marketing was the
destination. After six years of
a corporate job and
marketing specialisation, I
wanted to pursue my destiny.
Once an artist, always an
artist. I like painting thoughts,
things too abstract I like
giving them form… in my own
passion that I share for life…
my paintings share with colour. Each
of my works speaks for itself as I try
to present my inner self on canvases.
What kind of paintings is your
forte?
My medium is acrylic and oil on
canvas. My paintings would come
under contemporary Indian art,
wherein I play with human figures, a
face. But it is not realistic. So there’s
an abstract element to it. I like to call
it line-ism, since there is this typical
characteristic to my work wherein I
add lines with different colours to my
work.
When and how did you get
attracted to this kind of painting?
This is something that I started
from my very first year in fine arts.
When you join an art school nobody
can teach you how to paint and how
to draw. It is always ingrained in you.
But, what they do is open the
windows to your mind and give you
that creative freedom to explore. I
was given that in my first year and
that’s when I started doing this and
encouraged by my teachers
developed on the style.
Most of your works are stripes
of colours creating an image…
why do you choose this style only
for the expression to your
thoughts?
The style that I work on is
something that I started doing in the
first year of my college. I liked
working in this style, it is unique, and
no one has ever experimented in this.
I developed this style and it has
somehow become my patent. Now,
when I think visually, I think in stripes.
That’s what I call "line-ism". It not
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
I only expresses my thoughts but also
gives my work a distinct look.
What is the medium you use?
What is the process of your work
and the genre you belong to?
I use both oil and acrylic mediums,
the mediums again differ based on
my compositions. I would get up in
the middle of the night and start
sketching if a thought comes in my
mind. I have scared my family a lot of
times by this habit of mine. I like to
sketch my dreams… I like to translate
those in the same way that I visualise
them. I am a contemporary artist with
a distinctive style and would not like
91

to belong to a particular genre… I
have a lot to work on and experiment
with.
Are you experimenting now on
this kind of art?
Yes. Initially it was a more static
kind of work I did on the same style.
Now, I have given more flavour to it by
working on spaces, on expressions,
on other elements of our daily life. The
figures are more fluid now. I would like
to call it more mature. So I’m just
adding elements here and there and
trying to give a different angle to
every series that I do.
Tell us which artists have
influenced you and your work.
I think the typical flamboyance that
is there in my work maybe influenced
from Van Gogh’s works to a very
large extent. And I like Rembrandt
also.
How do you select themes and
ideas for your paintings?
They are random. Whatever
92
comes to my mind at that particular
time. I do not really sit and give it a
lot of thought.
What really inspires you?
Life, in itself.
Do you pick up subjects from
life then?
Not consciously. It’s very random.
Is there any difference between
your earlier works and now?
It has grown immensely. Yes,
there is a difference. I think more on
the thought level.
Are auction houses helpful in
the development of art?
I don’t know at what level you
mean. At the end of it all if the artist is
directly auctioning off the works, then
maybe it helps. If you are asking in
terms of helping the artist, then I am
not very sure. But art, there’s a
difference.
In what way does it help art?
Of course, your work travels. It
goes to better places, to better
buyers and you get publicity.
And the publicity helps the
artist?
Yeah. Publicity helps the artist.
Again, it depends on what level you
are talking about. If the auction
houses emphasise on the artist and
the background of the artist, then
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
yes. If they concentrate on the art
only, then probably not.
Being an artist can you
compare today's and yesterday's
art world?
The contemporary style of painting
is more of an expression of thought.
Today, artists have the freedom of
expressing themselves in different
mediums, styles and forms. This
allows the freedom that artists have
been seeking for centuries. We are
not bound by the strict rules that the
artist had to follow during the
Renaissance or the struggle that
artists had to go through during
Impressionism. So, yes, people are
more open to accepting new ideas
and welcome artists that would rather
not tread the beaten path.
What is the current scenario of
art in India?
I think it’s much better than what it
was a couple of years ago. Due to
this recession, even art has been hit.
For close to a year there has not
been any buying or any other
movement as far as art is concerned.
What does the future have in
store for you?
I intend to have many more
exhibitions and participate in loads of
group shows in the future. I would
also like to experiment in different
mediums. I want to grow as an artist
and learn. In art, learning never stops
and the more you work, the more you
mature as an artist and the better you
paint.
Art has a very promising future.
People now understand art more
than they used to. The sensibilities
of people and patrons are changing. I
am proud of being part of a
generation of artists that is not scared
to experiment. I believe that an artist
never ceases to grow and I would
follow that path.
What are your future projects?
I am working on a concept right
now and hopefully I’ll be finishing it
in a couple of months. It’s a series
of paintings that I’ll be coming out
with. We

CAMPUS RUMPUS
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
This incident happened when I
was doing my postgraduation. We
were a group of 15 students in our
class, girls more than the boys. We
used to be quite boisterous, when we
were expected to be quiet and
studious. It so happened that we had
a new statistics lecturer at that time,
who was also just out of the college
and was our age. His classes were
very boring. So, one day in the
afternoon when his class was going
on, I could not resist and just whistled
very loudly. There was a stunned
silence, and in the ensuing silence, I
got very scared, I thought that maybe
I will have to go to the HOD. He was
very agitated and then he looked at
us and started scolding the boy
sitting next to me. He told the boy
that he will not tolerate such a type of
behaviour in his class and he made
the boy go out of the class. All the
protests from that boy were of no
use.
– Preetam Aswath, Karnataka.
LOST CASE
My next-door-neighbour APS in
the college hostel often used to come
to my room for little chit-chat. One
day he found one of his new
sleeveless sweaters missing from his
room. He had his suspicion on two
of our classmates who often visited
him. He was so bitter and sensitive
about his loss that he kept on harping
about it so that people got fed up and
started cracking jokes about it.
By the middle of March it became
very warm. One fine Sunday morning
there was lot of commotion in the
hostel as APS loudly announced the
recovery of his lost sweater. A
number of us gathered around his
room to know about the person from
whom the pullover was recovered.
He parried the query by saying that,
as he had got it back, he did not want
to name the person and cause him
embarrassment.
After few weeks, he revealed to
me in confidence that he found the
sweater on his own body when he
removed his clothes in the bathroom
for taking a bath!
– Dr C. B. Singh, Mumbai.
NEVER NICKNAME
This incident happened while I
was in my second year of graduation
in a co-ed college. There were few
girls in my class, as not many
preferred my option of studying
maths, economics and statistics. The
whole class was fun-loving. We had a
statistics lecturer. Her classes were
very interesting, and the entire class
liked her. The only problem we had
with her was that she was obese. We
nicknamed her as Gajalakshmi (gaja
means elephant). In due course we
forgot her real name. In the house,
while discussing about college I
always referred my statistics lecturer
as Gajalakshmi. It so happened that
one evening I saw her near my
house, as she came to meet a
doctor. I asked her to come home, as
it was just two houses away from the
doctor’s house. She could not come
but promised that she would come
some time later. I informed my
mother about this. After a few days,
my lecturer came to the doctor’s
place and came to my home. At that
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
time I was away, and my mother
welcomed her. My mother promptly
asked her whether she was my staff
lecturer called Gajalakshmi. Coming
to know about her real name, my
mother was furious and admonished
me. I split into laughter hearing this
and was also ashamed. Next day my
friends got to know about this. My
friends and I shifted our places to the
last bench in her class. What a
lesson! – Ambica V., Hyderabad.
TWIN NUN
One or my fondest memories from
college is the time spent in the
college corridors of all places,
leisurely sauntering from one class
to another. This of course wasn’t
particularly appreciated by the nuns,
who insisted on hurrying up the girls
who usually walked in herds at a
bovine pace. There was this one
particular corridor I’ll always
remember, since on one of its walls,
there hung this photo frame of a long
deceased nun. It so happened that
this late nun, had a twin who was
also a nun and sadly for us, was very
much alive and kicking! In fact, she’d
chase latecomers away and was
known to be a real terror! With this
as a background, you can imagine
how funny it was when, one
afternoon, soon after joining college,
a friend and I were walking down the
corridor that had the late nun’s
portrait. My friend simply stopped in
her tracks on seeing the garlanded
photo and blurted out , “Don’t tell me
she’s dead – she was chasing me in
the corridor just this morning!”
– Amrita Suresh, Andhra Pradesh.
93
 “I don’t choose my
subjects deliberately.
They come to me
spontaneously,” says the
artist. By Our Correspondent
PAINTING
WOMEN OF TODAY ulti-talented artist Anita
M
Chauhan draws sketches
and paints mainly women.
In whatever form she
depicts them, is unusual in
today’s context. Her
content is thinly veiled,
especially considering
current attitude towards
morality in India. Anita
feels that to portray a woman is a
challenge when it goes beyond just
the body or its sexual context. Since
Ph: 9818129687
E-mail:
anitachauhan.chauhan@gmail.com
www.anitaartgallery.com
94 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
long, women have been painted in
Indian folklore, art and sculpture.
Anita’s attempt in her contemporary
work indicates certain uniqueness in
terms of the same continuity.
However, her exercise is little
more daring and free. She has tried
to bring out the woman of today
encompassing the entire spectrum of
what she is and how she feels. She
has depicted them more serene,
confident, strong and ready to face
any challenge in life. The artist feels
that the body reflects the soul. That
way, connection formed between two
human beings is beauty. She says
that the human spirit is irrepressible
and more you suppress it the more it
soars. As such, the artist says, after
millennia of suppression, the modern
Indian women want to fly high now.
They have occupied the centre stage
of creation today. And they are
strong, firm, resolute yet compassio -
nate and full of love and hope.
Her paintings are, in a way, a
tribute to the woman power drawn in
vibrant bright colours full of form,
sensuality and overtly expressive.
Often compared to Frida Calho, Anita
represents the new exciting lot of
Indian painters, who are unique in
their quest for artistic expression.
Depicting even in a semi-nude form, enhances her sexuality.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 95

 Excerpts from an interview:
Tell us something about your
artistic journey.
I had an inclination towards art
since my school days but I never
thought to be an artist. However, I
always pursued art as a hobby, which
later on became my passion. Even
then little idea did I have about
becoming an artist as I got engaged
in other work, especially theatre and
modelling. It was only after marriage
that my considerate husband
recognised my artistic talent and
inspired me to pursue my passion.
Why do you create art?
When a person has not got formal
training in a field but continues to
work then money cannot be the
motive. The same is with me. I am a
self-taught artist and I get immense
satisfaction from creating art. Other
than that, I wish to convey a
message to the people about the
crucial role women play in our
society. Yet, everywhere they are
being discriminated against.
What media do you then choose
to work with?
Well, I work in every medium and
use all colours. I paint on canvas and
handmade paper also. My coming
solo show will be of black/white
paintings done on handmade papers.
As for the colour choices, I like bright
colours and like to use red, yellow,
blue, fuchsia, green and many other
shades to portray my subjects.
How do you choose your
subjects?
I don’t choose my subjects
deliberately. They come to me
automatically. Spontaneity is the
96
theme. There is no preplanning. Even
the titles of my works come in the
end when I have given my paintings
finishing touch.
You depict women in the nude.
Why?
I feel I can express the women in
real form. Occasionally, I tried to don
them clothes but then, I felt, they lost
depth. In my view, to depict them in
nude is the more realistic way to
portray womanly sentiments.
Did not you ever hear someone
declaring your work vulgar?
I personally feel there is no
vulgarity in my works. I cannot say
about people who see vulgarity even
among pious relations like brother
and sister, but people have greatly
appreciated my work. It is an honest
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
expression of emotions. As such I
have always received encouraging
comments from the viewers and
critics alike.
Do you take other topics also
besides women?
I have depicted other topics also
including emotions like fear, anxiety,
dreams, men with different expre -
ssion, sadhus, blind people, etc.
Your comments about the role
of art galleries.
Most of the time, art galleries talk
about the senior artists. They seldom
encourage up-and-coming artists. I
personally have no experience with
art galleries. I don’t believe in them
either. Artist can make himself/herself
anywhere. I will carry my art journey
forward.
What about the future of art?
Art is a nice journey. People are
enjoying it and taking it seriously.
They take art as a way of investment.
Many positive changes are coming.
Art is like a property. NRIs, and
foreign buyers are investing more
money in art. A stage of consolidation
has come for the artists. Earlier, art
was an intellectual topic. Now, it has
become common.
What are your future projects?
I am currently working on black &
white paintings. They are a study of
expressions of body, mind and soul
on handmade paper with charcoal
and watercolours. What the body can
depict, what soul can desire and what
the mind can speak is what I have
tried to express. When you combine
mind and soul with the body, the
combination is capable of expressing
a myriad of feelings. A woman’s body
manifests itself into a thousand things
and is capable of reflecting all that is
humanly earthy or divinely spiritual. It
will be a show of woman’s exceptional
expression based on personal and
social interactions and the ups and
downs in her routine life. Hence I
have titled it Expressions of Body,
Mind and Soul and it will be held at
India Habitat Centre, some time in
August. We
 QA &
Both my parents had AIDS and died
of the disease three years ago, within
months of each other. At that time
both my elder brothers were abroad
and I was the only member of the
family who was told the truth by the
doctor. I did not tell my brothers
because I didn’t want to shock and
hurt them.
Now both my brothers (aged 27
and 29) are engaged to be married
and I too (I am 26 years old) have a
girlfriend and I don’t know what to do.
Could my brothers and I have got the
infection from our parents? Should I
tell my brothers the truth? I am so
depressed that I feel like breaking off
with my girlfriend and remaining
unmarried all my life. I feel so
ashamed.
If your parents had been HIV
positive when your brothers and you
had been born and any of you had
got the infection, you would certainly
have come to know long ago.
Obviously your parents got the virus
later. As to whether any of you could
have got the infection from living with
them, it is very unlikely that you
would have.
But your worry and depression are
very understandable. You should tell
your brothers the truth. They have a
right to know. It is also best that you
consult a doctor and ask if you and
your brothers should take the test to
see if you have been infected. If
nothing else, it will reassure you.
Q
I am a 23-year-old woman and am
obsessed with sex. Since I neither
have a boyfriend nor am married, I
watch porn on my computer when I
can. I work and cannot do this
during the day, but I stay up half the
night and watch sex stuff.
Recently my brother-in-law found
this out and is now blackmailing me.
He says that he will tell my sister
about me unless I have sex with
him. I too feel like experiencing in
reality what I have been
experiencing in fantasy. Should I tell
him this?
It would be extremely foolish and
wrong of you to start having an
affair with your brother-in-law. You
Sad things and tragedies happen
in life. We are responsible for some
of these and others are just acts of
fate. You are certainly not respon -
sible for what happened to your
parents. So there is absolutely no
reason for you to feel ashamed.
One bad thing after another has been
happening to me over the last few
years. These include falling ill during
two important exams and not doing
well, failing to get a promotion at
work because I joined a day later
than a colleague and she was judged
senior to me (though I have a much
better service record) and having the
young man who came to “see” me
fall in love with my younger sister.
Now I have begun to consider
myself unlucky. I am constantly
depressed but also resentful about
my fate. Why are so many bad things
happening to me? Will I never be
happy?
It is understandable that you feel
depressed and wonder why so many
unpleasant things are happening to
you, but you must be careful not to let
your depression and resentment
make you a person with a negative
view of yourself, others and life.
Time has a way of healing most
wounds and many of the things that
happen to us that seem very
important to us that time, utterly lose
their significance over the years.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
would not only be betraying your
sister, you would also be getting
involved with a man of bad
character who has no scruples.
Who knows what he would
blackmail you into doing next?
So tell your brother-in-law that
you will not fall prey to him and tell
your sister what you have been
doing yourself. It will be a little
embarrassing, but nothing more
than that. And tell your brother-in-
law that you will tell your sister what
he asked you to do if he interferes in
your life again. If you are obsessed
with sex, watching porn or having
an affair is not the solution. Why
don’t you get married?
People who do badly in exams do
well in life; those who miss
promotions rise later and “rejected”
people find wonderful partners.
Situations and incidents don’t
matter as much as our response to
them. If we take things positively and
look at failures as opportunities to
grow, we will not become depressed
and unhappy. So, take greater care
of your health; try to improve your
qualifications and take care of your
looks and be pleasant and helpful. All
this will get you out of your
depression and fill you with energy.
Most important, let go of the past
and enjoy the present. The future will
be what you make it.
I am 22 years old and am totally
uninterested in getting married. I
want to do well in my career, travel
and have fun. But my parents are
insisting that I get married so that
they can be free of their responsi -
bilities. I feel that they are being
unfair and that they are asking me to
give up my future just so that they
can relax. How can I make them
understand my point of view?
Talk to your parents and if you
have any sibling or older relative who
understands you and whom your
parents will listen to, ask them to talk
to your parents too. Talk to your
parents separately and make the
points that each will appreciate. Talk
97
 in a mature manner. Tell your mother
that you are unwilling to undertake
the work that running a home entails
and do not want to have children so
young. Remind your father that the
world is changing and that there are
many options open to a woman now.
You should act in a mature
fashion too and show a serious
interest in your career and your
desire to achieve something. Be firm.
Your parents cannot force you to
marry.
I am a married woman of 34. I have
two small children and also work as a
teacher in a government school. I
work from five in the morning to 10 at
night doing household work, looking
after the children and at my job.
By the end of the day I feel
exhausted and lonely and want to
cry. I have no one I can talk to since
my husband is kept very busy by his
job and my children are very young. I
long to pour out my feelings to
someone, but alas I have no one. I
often feel suicidal.
Is something wrong with me? I
have no real problems and many
would consider me lucky. But I still
want to die. Please help me.
You are feeling lonely and
depressed because you are over-
worked and have no one to talk to.
Ideally, it should be your husband
who understands your feelings and
is supportive. Try and tell him how
much you need to talk to and confide
in him. If he understands, he may
make some time for you. But if he is
too busy or feels that any free time
he has should be devoted to the
children, you cannot force him to be a
friend and confidante.
But don’t be ashamed of your
Click
Yo u r P e r s o n a l A g o n y A u n t O n l i n e
98
needs. They are totally legitimate and
other women are sure to understand
you. So get in touch with old friends
and make time to meet them. Tell your
husband that he has to babysit the
kids for some time on holidays and go
and have a talkfest with old pals. Or
ask them to come home. If you cannot
meet old friends, talk to siblings,
relatives and colleagues but don’t
confide your problems regarding your
husband in them too much. Read,
watch TV and keep up with your
hobbies, even if you can’t devote much
time to any of these activities. Try and
keep positive in your thoughts. Your
children will grow up and need your
attention less soon enough.
I am a 29-year-old unmarried woman
with a good job. Four years ago I fell
in love with a man from a different
caste. He too loved me and we
decided to get married. But neither
his family nor mine would agree to
the marriage and so we decided to
break up because both of us are
much-loved only children. My
boyfriend made me promise that I
would get married and said that he
would too.
Now my parents want me to get
married and are searching for a
match for me. But I do not want to
marry. My old boyfriend has got
married and I remember my promise
to him, but I still do not want another
Marriage means total commitment
and it is unfair to marry someone if
you are not ready to make this
commitment. Obviously you have not
yet got over the man you loved. You
need more time and you should
explain this to your parents. Hopefully
you will get over your first love in a
while or meet someone else you are
Powered by
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
QA &
attracted to and you can marry then.
Since you sacrificed your love for
their sake – whether this was wise of
you is debatable – your parents
should understand and give you
more time. If they say that 29 is late,
remind them that these days women
often marry after 30 because they are
busy with their careers till then.
I have been married for three months
(it was an arranged marriage) and
was a virgin when I got married.
During these months I have never got
any pleasure from sex. My husband
enjoys it and we have sex every day.
But for me it means nothing at all. I
feel that I am missing out on an
important part of married life and I
feel depressed and cheated. What
should I do?
A woman is not like a car which
will respond to anyone who turns the
engine on and drives it. For her, sex
is as much about emotion and caring
as it is physical. So it is not
uncommon for women to take time to
respond to their husbands, especially
in arranged marriages when sex
comes before friendship and love.
There is also the fact that your
husband too may be inexperienced
and may therefore be unaware of
how to arouse you.
Don’t be depressed. Instead, talk
to your husband frankly and tell him
how you feel. He is probably unaware
of your feelings and your frank talk
will not just make him aware of the
problem but will also bring you closer.
If he doesn’t know what to do to
arouse you, you can read some sex
books together or even watch sexy
movies. Both of you will soon get the
message and then you too will enjoy
sex.
 CAPITAL
Chit - C h a t
SARANGI FUNK
Sarangi – the beautiful Indian
classical musical instrument, with the
most soulful and heart-wrenching
notes is creating possibilities. Often
associated with music that originated
at the nautch girls’ kothas or later on
the radio to announce three days of
mourning when a leader died, the
Sarangi has never been exploited to
be modern, until Kamal Sabri took it
upon himself to reinvent Western
music through the sounds of the
Sarangi and call it Sarangi Funk. The
event was sponsored by the Park
Hotel under their programme called
cultural festivals by the name of The
Park’s New Festival and lent support
to organisations like Delhi Inter -
national Arts Festival and Legends of
India.
The musically gifted Kamal Sabri
is the son of sarangi legend Ustad
Sabri Khan and is carrying forward
the rich legacy of the Sania gharana
of Moradabad. Kamal started playing
at a tender age of five years and very
soon this child prodigy made waves
in the musical world and has demon-
Kamal Sabri is carrying forward the rich legacy of the Sania gharana.
100
strated profound versatility in playing
the sarangi. Gifted with unques -
tionable qualities of sound, tenor and
innumerable variations, the Sarangi
has exceptional adaptability to suit
any genre of music. It covers the
entire gamut of the classical like
dhrupad, dhammar, khayal, thumri,
dadra, kajri, chaiti, tappa, tirivat,
tarana, light classicals e.g., bhajan,
ghazal, folk songs and film songs. Of
late, the sarangi has even dared to
venture into jazz, contemporary and
new-age music and very emphatically
made its mark to everybody’s
astonishment and liking. Sarangi
Funk is a bold and innovative attempt
to introduce and exhibit the untapped
aspect of the Sarangi. This album
features some delectable
compositions, composed and played
by the sarangi maestro Kamal Sabri,
where he brews new concoctions of
rhythm, beats and melody.
The myth that the Sarangi is used
just to emote musically sad tones,
unfortunately has stuck to it. In fact,
this is just one of its aspects, which
coincidentally has been exposed too
much to the public’s ear as a result of
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
which its ability to express moods of
happiness, vibrant energy, music to
dance, etc. has unfortunately never
been exploited to the full. I admit that
whenever I have heard Kamal Sabri
live, the first time being an event
organised by Indo-French Chamber
of Commerce and Industry’s Director
Piya Bajwa, I have been impressed
with his ability to make the Sarangi
so approachable to the common
people and provide only joy with his
music. Now, it is officially modern
too.
SUMMER MENU NEEDS
TO BE LIGHT
Come summer and one wants to
spend the least time in a kitchen.
However when one eats out it is
natural to desire something that looks
complicated and yet is light on taste
buds and the stomach. Shalom, a
successful restaurant in South Delhi
shows the Mediterranean way of
doing it. Mezze platters and Shish
taouks have become more popular
than butter chicken even in Delhi!
Shalom’s new lunch menu has
Melon and Prawn salad.
light, flavoursome preparations that
explore the variety and expanse of
Mediterranean cuisine. Shift from the
usual favourites and discover some
delectable Turkish, Italian, Greek and
North African preparations. Carefully
chosen and designed by Chef
Raymond Wasser, this superb
selection of soups, salads, grills and
desserts is an evolution in your
search for newer mediterranean
tastes. The new menu has many
additions which promise to add
flavour in the main course. From
delicious seafood recipes, to
interesting grills like the vegetable
moussaka (this is a flavoursome
vegetarian alternative to the classic
Greek meat moussaka.) Or the spicy
chickpea and aubergine stew (this is
a Lebanese dish, but similar recipes
are found all over the Mediterranean)
spiced vegetable couscous
(couscous, a cereal processed from
semolina, is used throughout North
Africa, mostly in Morocco, where it is
served with meat, poultry or
vegetable stews).
For the non-vegetarians there is
the lamb moussaka (although
moussaka is an Arab word, this dish
is made in various parts of the
Mediterranean like Greece, Turkey
and Lebanon – the particular classic
Greek version is topped with a rich
bechamel sauce); grill fish with
orange chilli fish (this dish is a true
fusion of world flavours, its key
ingredients originating from Mexico,
the Mediterranean and south-east
Asia). The desserts section offers
mouth-watering chocolate Salami
(this after-meal sweetmeat resembles
a salami in shape, hence its intriguing
name). Or enjoy a frozen lemon pie.
The food is delicious and healthy.
Here is one simple recipe that the
chef graciously shared with readers
of Woman’s Era:
Ingredients: one honeydew
melon (halved, seeded and cubed),
175 grams boiled prawns; 300 ml
mayonnaise, 30 ml tomato puree,
15 ml grated lemon rind, 5 ml castor
sugar, lettuce leaves, ground salt and
pepper. Simply mix all the ingredients
in mayonnaise base with salt to taste
and enjoy chilled!
102
JOYS OF HIGH TEA
There is something about
monsoon and enjoying
something to eat with your
afternoon cup of tea. Officially
called High Tea, it is almost a
ritual in England and in India we
have adapted it to suit our tastes
by adding kebabs and pakodas
to it. The venue is often as
important, located in the inner
circle of Connaught Place, the
last bastion of English design in
New Delhi is Ignis and the world
looks different when you enjoy your
tea with snacks from there, looking
out into the life as it passes by in
good old CP.
Aromatic Indian tea served in
dainty crockery one could choose
from Darjeeling, green Tea, Earl
Grey, Golden flowery Pekoe, even
Ceylonese Tea. Making exception for
the coffee lovers there is an option
of that as well. Got a child, or you
don’t want either, the third option is of
Hot Chocolate. Time is limited
between 3.30 and 7 in the evening.
There are dainty cucumber
sandwiches, cakes with creams,
especially made delightful and
delicious pastries and crumpets and
there are the kebabs and pakodas
too. If you are lucky it might even rain
while you enjoy your tea and
goodies. But it is better to enjoy the
tea without the monsoon too, rather
than giving up on both.
FOREIGN UNIVERSITY
INDIAN STUDENTS
Indian students have always
sought foreign education. Our
freedom fighters and leaders are a
shining example of what can be
achieved with a foreign education.
Now with paucity of colleges for
students in Indian cities, those who
can afford it want a foreign University
education.
To cater to this business
opportunities these universities’
representatives come to India and tell
the young students and their parents
why their children should select their
university to get the best opportunity
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Foreign University Indian Student
to make their career singularly suc-
cessful. When the Leeds Metropo -
litan University with their tie- up with
Carnegie Faculty of Sport &
Education came to India, it was killing
two birds with one stone. Everybody
knows that India does not encourage
its sportsmen and young ladies who
excel in games. Very often they are
promised jobs after they have won
medals but these promises are never
kept.
The Leeds University believes that
behind every great athlete is a great
coach and they want to ensure that
best sports coaches and coaching
systems are offered to deserving
students. And if the candidate has
merit the scholarship could be totally
subsidised education with world-class
training. They have about 200
students and the positive influence of
sports has been recognised. They
wish to invest with India and have
already been to Pune in 2008.
Current focus is on a Sri Lankan
candidate Mike Shahaan, a 19 years
old who will be supported 100%
through his training.
Leeds is a beautiful city of
750,000 residents and it is a mix of
all nationalities. They showed a film
called ‘A Year in the life of Leeds
University’ telling all they do. The
courses for undergraduates comprise
long list of diverse subjects.
Biomedical Sciences to Tourism
and Entertainment Manage ment;
Business studies to Public Health – if
you don’t know what to do, they will
help you find your positive angle as
part of guidance. – Sona Sharma
 ITS RELEVANCE
TO ALLEVIATING
SUFFERING
It boosts the immune
system, provides physical
and mental therapy for
most disorders.
By K. Janakiraman

he notion of suffering as a

T dominating factor in human life

has loomed large in Indian
philosophy. There are three
main types of suffering:
● The bodily and mental
conditions of an individual such as ill
health, disease, and emotions like
hate, fear, passion and so on.
● Suffering imposed by harmful
behaviour of others, animals and
insects.
● Suffering that is caused by acts
of nature like earthquake, accident,
floods, famine and fire.
Science with its tremendous
technological advances can
eventually make for human
happiness. Medicine with its new
remedies for every disease under the
sun and the science of physics
aided by the computer,
with their exploration of
outer space, give the

104 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

impression that man will in the near
future gain control over the forces of
nature.
The vital question is: can science
and information technology overcome
suffering and grief which are states of
mind? Can it help us understand our
behaviour, our fears and cravings,
our passions and emotions and
generally our outlook on life?
The problem really is not obtaining
mastery over our surroundings, our
environment or outer space. It is
something much more profound.
Peace within and about oneself is
probably the greatest mark of yoga.
While the etymology of yoga
shows that it was derived from the
word yuj, meaning union of the body,
mind, emotion and spirit, controlling
and steadying the mind became in
due course the process by which
yoga made this union possible.
The Katopanishad defines yoga
as a “state of steadiness and control
of the senses, as well as the mind
and the intellect, which, when
attained makes an individual
completely faultless and
unoffending.” Cardinal Newman’s
definition of a gentleman comes to
our mind in this connection: “A
gentleman is one who does not inflict
pain on others.”
Human beings since birth till death
are supposed to be drowning in the
ocean of sorrow. Yoga confers
equanimity (unperturbed state under
all circumstances – the French
expression being sangfroid ). The
mindset attains over a period of time,
a state in which the yogi does not
differentiate between victory and
defeat or pleasure and pain – a
philosophy that is preached by the
Bhagavat Gita.
Constant practice boosts the
immune system and provides physical
and mental therapy for most disorders.
This is done by balancing the nervous
and the endocrine systems.
The science of medicine has
recognised the favourable
effects of yoga in the treatment
of stress, tension, all
stomach-related ailments,
asthma, diabetes and (with
a new technique of breathing) obesity corrects all disorders of the thyroid
and cellulite. and parathyroid.
● Balance and coordination are
Therapies through yoga. achieved through ekapadasana and
● Asanas of relaxation and bakasana.
pranayama that adopt abdominal or ● Vertigo is treated by the
diaphragmatic breathing treat shanmukhi mudra
hypertension which is caused mostly One can go on endlessly on the
by shallow breathing. They also maladies that respond more to yoga
sharpen reflexes, memory and than all other therapies including
concentration. allopathy, ayurveda and homoeo -
● Rectus abdomini asanas, like pathy. Suffice it to say that correct
nauli and uddiyana bhanda, uthitha posture and breathing are the
janu sirasasana, suptha pawana cornerstones of yoga that are
mukthasana, uthitha lolasana and responsible for the relief one gets
acupressure (massaging the from certain ailments.
pancreas, duodenum, the large and Psychosomatic disorders like
the small intestine, the liver and the insomnia, depression, mood swings,
kidney through a new technique of anger and anxiety are also treated by
breathing) – these are the exercises specific asanas. Fortitude, endurance
which provide relief from gas, acidity, and flexibility are the by-products of
constipation and sluggish liver. regular practice of yoga.
● Matsyasana ,
the fish pose, is a
sure cure for
bleeding piles.
● Halasana
helps to secrete the
required amount of
insulin from the
pancreas to bring to
normal the blood
sugar level.
● Sarvangasana
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 105
 Tranquillity, peace of mind,
equanimity and detachment are
some of the main characteristics
developed by a yogi over a period of
time. The others are vairagya (over-
coming desires) and abhyasa (the
process of steadying the mind).
Divested of cravings, becoming
unperturbed under all circumstances,
the yogi starts stifling mental modi-
fications and strives for one-point
approach to life’s challenges.
Being at peace with oneself and
with the world, one launches karma
or actions prescribed by the
Vedantha and other philosophies with
a view to serving one’s community,
society and the world at large.
Being the science of right living it
BENEFITS OF PRACTICE
The following are the benefits of
constant practice over a period of
time:
● Revitalisation of the body and
the mind
● Freedom from stress and
tension
● Relief from common disorders
of the physique
● Perfect conditioning of the
endocrine, digestive, cardio-vascular
and respiratory systems
● Flexibility, endurance and
muscle tone
● Sharp reflexes, memory and
concentration
● Exercise of the skeletal and
smooth muscles of the body and in
particular the abdominal wall, the
pelvis, the trunk, the back and the
chest.
There are a few practices that
can be described as glorious,
enriching and rewarding:
108
needs to be incorporated in our daily
life as a culture. The practitioner
acquires a new and desirable lifestyle
and a capacity to take on life’s
challenges with confidence.
The modus operandi for achieving
a sound mind in a sound body
consists of mental concentration,
relaxation, consciousness and
psychological equilibrium.
Shanmukhi mudra:
I shall devote a few lines to
shanmukhi mudra as I consider its
benefits are far-reaching and
extremely relevant in a complex
world with its bustle, noise and
activity. Shanmukhi mudra, or closing
the seven gates in the face brings
Pranayama – Nadi shodhana
pranayama – ensures extra supply
of oxygen to the body. Carbon
dioxide is efficiently expelled and the
blood is purified of toxins.
The brain centres are stimulated
to work to their optimum capacity.
Levels of stress and anxiety are
lowered.
All relaxation asanas like
Vajrasana (a panacea for all stomach about prathyahara (sense withdrawal)
maladies), shavasana, advasana, shutting out vision, smell and the
jyesthikasana and makarasana, environment. I can send to those
relieve tension and stress. interested a line drawing of this mudra
Sirasasana reverses the effect of along with the steps, breathing contra-
gravity on the spine, increases blood indications and benefits.
flow to the brain and the pituitary Suffice it to say that regular practice
gland, relieving psychologicalof this mudra confers a sense of
disturbances which form the root detachment and freedom from the
cause of many disorders. Asthma, bonds of family, friends, ownership and
hay fever, diabetes and menstrual possession. Vertigo, eye, nose and
ailments are cured. throat infections are cured by regular
Sarvangasana provides redress practice of this mudra. The launching
for hormonal and thyroid ailments. sloka in the Vishnusahasranamam is
this: Yatra smarana maathrena janma
samsara bhandanath (bonds of the family) vimusyathe,
vishnawe prabha vishnawe. Shanmukhi mudra, while not
making you a saint, develops a sense of detachment
preached by our scriptures.
CONCLUSION
Yoga’s contribution to the sum total of our happiness
and removal of physical and mental suffering can never be
overemphasised. It is something which should be
experienced to be believed. We
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
ROAD RAGE
few years ago, in New
A
Delhi, Jitendra Pawar, a
small-time property dealer,
became a victim of road
rage when five men
brutally beat him following
an argument over a minor
accident. Thirty-five-year-
old Jitendra was returning
from Saket Club home to
Mehrauli in his Maruti Zen when two
youths on a motorcycle reportedly hit
his car near the Lado Sarai T-junction
in South Delhi. This led to a minor
scuffle. Subsequently, three others
joined in and started to follow his car.
They stopped Jitendra and started to
beat him with a helmet and a
basketball bat and when he fell down,
110
one of them crushed his head with a
heavy stone. A friend of Jitendra’s
who was passing by, saw him lying
on the road. He summoned a police
constable and rushed him to AIIMS,
where he was declared dead.
In Chennai, a young college-going
girl was crushed to death when a
young man repeatedly ran over her in
his car. In Pune, cardiologist Dr
Manoj Durairaj was assaulted by
three drunk medical students. Accor-
ding to the police, the inebriated trio
were in their car when they picked a
quarrel while overtaking Dr Durairaj’s
car. According to the investigation
police officer, “The trio attacked the
doctor with a broken bottle, and
aimed at his neck. This could have
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
An understanding of
the rising tide of
vehicular violence.
By Mita Banerjee
killed him, had he not ducked in
time.”
In Kolkata, Anil Das, 55, was
returning home with his wife.
Because she had just undergone a
surgical procedure, he was crawling
along at a mere 25 kph. It was this
that saved them, because at the
crossroads a motorcycle came
hurtling down at them at a right
angle. The young man riding the two-
wheeler not only began to abuse the
elderly couple loudly, he also
followed them home, making
threatening gestures all the time.
These are examples of road rage
which are happening in many other
places, not just in India, but also
around the world. In the USA alone,
more than 1,200 cases are
reported every year, with at
least 300 ending in serious
injuries or fatalities.
What is road rage?
Road rage (also road
violence or aggressive driving)
is the informal name for
deliberately dangerous and
violent behaviour under the
influence of heightened, violent
emotions such as anger and
frustration, involving an
automobile in use. It can
involve deliberately hitting
another person, vehicle or
object with his/her own vehicle
or hitting the person or vehicle
with an item. Getting out of
one’s vehicle to another
person’s vehicle and banging,
knocking on the windows, and yelling insults, is another
form of road rage. In its extreme, aggressive driving
behaviour can escalate into ‘road rage’ when an angry
driver takes deliberate, violent action against another
motorist. This could even take the form of breaking the
other’s windscreen or window and hitting with an object,
sometimes even with fatal results.
Road rage can happen to anyone. Have you ever
experienced a bad day at office, when you just didn’t feel
like yourself? It could have been triggered by some
serious argument or flare-up with your colleagues or boss.
Then, some jerk makes you angry on your drive home.
These are conditions that are perfect for road rage,
and almost everybody has experienced them. The only
difference between you and a road-rager is how you deal
with these feelings. To protect yourself you have to get
hold of your emotions. The worst thing that you want to
happen is to meet someone who is as angry as you, or
possibly even more possessed by rage.
Psychiatrist Dr Mina Bobdey confirms, “Road rage is
not confined to any age or gender group. Although young
males are more prone to it, surprisingly more and more
young female executives as well are reporting it
nowadays. I was counselling a young lady executive, and
as a part of the therapy, I also went driving with her. I was
taken aback by her aggressive driving and also the anger
that she displayed. When I was in the UK a few years
ago, another patient came to me. She had been a victim
of road rage, and has developed a fear of driving ever
since. With graded exposure and therapy, she got better
and started driving again.”

What causes road rage?

Road rage can be caused by a variety of events,
circumstances, and environments. Environmental
conditions are the main factors associated with road rage.
These conditions can consist of traffic congestion,
another’s dangerous driving habits, the weather (heat,
humidity, etc), noise levels, and time constraints.
Aggressive driving behaviour usually occurs as a result of
heavy traffic, hectic schedules, pressure and daily stress.
An angry or impatient driver may act out his or her
frustrations by driving in a reckless, rude or intimidating
manner – such as speeding, tailgating, weaving in and out
of traffic, making obscene gestures and using the horn
excessively – endangering other motorists or pede strians.
The other two causes of
road rage – intrusive
responses and terri torial
defensiveness – are also
closely related. Intrusive
responses are actions of
retaliation to get back at
another for their careless
driving. Territorial defensive -
ness is the act of defending
one’s personal space (the car)
in response to another

individual’s driving. Road rage is a
very serious act; it may be seen as a
violation of property rights and an
endangerment of personal security.
Dr Bobdey couldn’t agree more as
she says, “With the pressure of time
and performance, there is a sense of
urgency and we become impatient.
We want to achieve a lot more than
what we are capable of. As a society
too, we have become intolerant and
are ignoring our human side. There
are a lot more vehicles on the road
as well.” Weather conditions such as
excessive heat or humidity and high
noise levels can also trigger road rage.
How can one tackle a situation
if one becomes the victim, or if
one is feeling angry?
Dr Bobdey advises, “Since it is a
sign of stress, look at your lifestyle
and take active steps to change it.
More fluids, regular food, physical
and mental exercise, regular relaxing
exercise and family time can help
reduce stress and produce a calmer
frame of mind.” If you are an innocent
victim of road rage, you must protect
yourself. Do not make eye contact
with an angry driver, as an angry look
may increase the level of rage. Get
away from an angry driver as quickly
112
as possible. Take the next turn and
choose an alternative route to your
destination. If necessary, pull over
and cool off before continuing on your
way. If an enraged driver attempts to
follow you, there is a good chance that
the level of violence may increase. Do
not go home. Go straight to the nearest
police detachment and file a complaint.
Are you at the risk of
committing road rage?
● Do you often drive at an
excessive speed?
● Do you weave in and out of
traffic or cut off other motorists?
● Do you tailgate other vehicles
to force them into another lane of
traffic?
● Do you yell at or make obscene
gestures to other drivers?
● Do you use your horn
excessively or blare your radio?
● Do you drive on the shoulders
of the road to avoid traffic and pass
other cars?
● Do you block the passing lane
or purposely try to prevent drivers
from moving into your lane?
Follow these guidelines to
prevent aggressive driving and
road rage:
● Before
driving, set aside
your stress, anger
and worries and
make safe driving
your priority
● Plan ahead
and allow enough
time for your trip
● Be courteous
and obey the rules
of the road
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
● Do not speed, tailgate or block
the passing lane
● Keep your radio at a
reasonable volume and avoid using
your horn excessively
● Always use your signal when
changing lanes. Do not cut off other
drivers.
● Make your car comfortable by
adjusting the temperature or listening
to soothing music
● When possible, avoid driving in
heavily congested areas and during
rush hour
● Remember, drivers do make
mistakes. Do not take driving
violations personally – and never
retaliate.
Remember these safety tips
when confronted by an aggressive
driver or a potential road rage
incident:
● Steer clear of the offender
● Do not make eye contact or
even look in the direction of the
aggressor
● Do not make obscene gestures
or swear at other drivers
● Stay calm, and focussed and
do not react if you are provoked
● You cannot control traffic or the
behaviour of other drivers; you can
only control your own responses
● If you are a victim of violent
road rage, drive to a safe place and
notify the police immediately. We
Winners of
Jewellery Quiz Contest - 3
Mamta Gupta
M-133, Greater Kailash
Part-II, New Delhi.
Pin: 110 048
 DBS Q U I Z
Tear this page along the perforated line and send it to the under mentioned address. Winner will be announced in the October issue.

Q1 When you hear his or her name

what do you do?
a. I immediately interrogate the person who
spoke it
b. Nothing
c. My heart beats fast and I smile to myself
d. I get mad at myself for thinking of him

Q
2
Do you know his or her middle name?
a. I did at one point
b. Yeah, but I had to ask his/her brother or
friend for it

?
c. Of course! I know every little detail about him!
d. No! I don’t care!

WHAT’S GOING ON
BETWEEN
Answer
YOU AND HIM/HER
&
the questions win a
grand prize... Are you confused as to
what to do with a certain
someone that either broke your
heart, you simply didn’t get along
so ended a relationship.
3
lucky
winners will S elected entries will be published in the
forthcoming issue of Woman’s era. Look out
get the for the 30 September 2009 issue
book
Last date for sending entries: 15 September 2009
Attach a photograph of your friend for a better
chance of featuring in Woman’s era
Valued M.R.P Rs 1405

DELHI BOOK STORE

19-Ansari Road, Darya Ganj, New Delhi.
For on line shopping: www.delhibookstore.com

QS hort
uiz
✂

Win a prize
e-mail: sales@delhibookstore.com
Books at discounted price. Free postage world wide
Q
3
What’s his or her favourite colour?
a.
b.
c.
Green, at least it used to be
I don’t know! I’ve never known!
Um... I used to know
Q
7
Have you two dated before?
a. Nah... thought about it, but it never
seemed to make any sense... we’re
so different
d. Well, last week it was green but b. Yeah, once, though we decided it
he/she decided they like yellow better better to stop
c. No! wish! He keeps saying that he isn’t
If so, how did it end? ready for a real relationship!

Q4 a. He/she was the worst

boyfriend/girlfriend I’ve ever had!
b. We mutually agreed it was for the better
d. Yeah... never again

c. It’s kind of hard for something to end

that never happened
d. It never happened!
Q
8
How did you two meet?
a. In my dreams!
b. Not too long ago, we had like one class
together in sixth grade
c. Our friends hooked us up and the break

Q
5
How often do you talk to each other?
a. Maybe once a month
b. Every now and then, we keep in touch,
though I wouldn’t mind if we talked more
up was pretty messy
d. We both play the same sport, or are part
of the same organisation

c. Well, I talk to him/her all the time, he/she

Q
doesn’t talk to me often though If you could be with any person in
d. Never, haven’t in a long time
9 the world would it be him/her?
a. Umm... not necessarily, he/she’d be nice,

Q
6
Do you know his or her friends?
a. Some of them, we’ve grown apart
b. Oh yeah, I know everyone he’s/she’s
ever spoken to
but there are plenty of fish in the pond
b. Probably
c. No! Never again! If he/she asked me out
I’d smack him/her for having that kind of
c. No, I try to stay as far away from nerve!
them as possible d. Yes! I’ve loved him/her since the moment
d. Yeah, we were all good friends in junior high school I set eyes on him/her

Prove that you are aware of this trivia.

Scoring Terms and Conditions: Send us the coupon with your photo along
Don’t you hate those artificial quizzes that with the correct answers.
only have one obvious right answer? Since we don’t know
about your personal life, these questions could work out, Name
depending on one’s personality and interactions. And you Age
could probably come up with better answers! Address

Winners of DBS Quiz Contest - 57 Phone:

PIN
E-mail
Occupation

Don’t forget to attach a photograph

1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this
quiz along with this coupon. The last date is
15 September 2009. So hurry up and post it now.
Jaspreet Kaur Sneh Lata Dr Shabina Sachdeva 2. The decision of the editor will be final. 3. Depict
83-Basant Vihar 723, Model Town 1312, Urban Estate, your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your
Ludhiana Extension, Dugri Road, Phase-I, Jalandhar,
Pin: 141008 Hotel Grand, Pin: 144 022 own. It may be printed in Woman’s Era, along with
Marian Lane, the results. Send to: Woman’s Era, Delhi Press,
Ludhiana E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.
Pin: 141 002
 MUMBAI
DOCTORS’ DAY OUT
The launch of the Journal of
Gynaecological and Endoscopic
Surgery (JGES) at the Mayfair
Rooms was a classy affair. Doing the
honours were Nawab Malik and Anil
Deshmukh. The journal was
launched under the aegis of the The
Indian Association of Gynaecological
Endoscopists ( IAGE) headed by Dr
Hrishikesh Pai while the managing
editor for the journal is Dr Prakash
Trivedi.
Dr Rishma Pai and Dr Nandita
Palshetkar let their hair down on the
dance floor and giving them company
was Ananya Banerjee. Ashish Shelar
and Viren Shah were engaged in a
serious discussion right through the
evening. Rohini Salian and
Madhusudan Kumar were among the
early birds and so was artist Vipta
Kapadia.
Actor Vikrum Kumar,
accompanied by director Arshad, was
overheard discussing his lead role in
the forthcoming flick Trump Card .
Also spotted were Sanjay Khanduri
and comedian Raju Nigam who
sported a bandana and was at his
humorous best right through the
evening.
Merry-Go-Round
FOR A CLEANER AND
GREENER MUMBAI
Mumbai may soon see two lakh
trees taking root and thriving to
provide much-needed green cover,
thanks to Nana Chudasama’s I Love
Mumbai and the yearly tree
distribution drive. The event aimed at
distributing and planting tree saplings
to make a cleaner and greener
Mumbai, was kick-started by
Bollywood actress Vidya Balan and
Vidya Balan and Shaina NC at the sapling
distribution drive by I Love Mumbai.
Sudha Hariharan
municipal commissioner Jairaj
Phatak. A huge gathering of children
from various schools and colleges in
the city, representatives from the
Army, Navy, Air Force, Western
Railway, Central Railway, Port Trust,
and leading citizens of Mumbai and
representatives from NGOs took an
active and enthusiastic part in the
drive.
Different saplings of neem, ashok,
rain tree, pentaforum, gulmohar,
cassia and tulsi were distributed from
across 26 centres. The saplings were
also made available at select LOOP
mobile galleries for easy access
by people.
On the occasion, Nana
Chudasama said, “We have been
doing the free sapling distribution
for over a decade now. However,
with each passing year, I have
seen more trees getting cut and
more buildings coming up and
with it more problems being faced
by Mumbaikars . My concern is
that we need more trees to retain
the ecological balance and also to
make the city look beautiful.
“This year, we have decided to
go beyond our regular efforts and
expand our tree coverage while
distributing two lakh saplings. I
hope to see Mumbai back as the
beautiful, green and clean Mumbai
that it once was.”
A 8-YEAR-OLD’S FIRST
SOLO ART EXHIBITION
Paintings have always remained
the most wonderful way of
expressing one’s emotions. Eight-
year-old Dev Mehta recently held his
first solo art exhibition at Ravindra
Nathya Mandir. With an inherent
talent for drawing and painting, he
has been painting on canvas and
Dr Hrishikesh Pai at Launch
of JGES.
paper since November 2007. The
journey started when his mother,
Rupal Mehta, spotted his talent when
he first started painting on his home
walls at the tender age of three
years. As years went by his amateur
doodling transformed into
masterstrokes. One thing was clear –
Dev had all the makings of being a
good painter.

UPASNA KAMINENI
Touching lives – a powerful,
dynamic and expressive statement –
this is what Dr Prathap C Reddy
(founder-chairman Apollo Hospitals
Group) instilled in the Apollo family.
When sons were considered
assets and daughters a burden, Dr
Reddy decided to change the trend.
He was blessed with four daughters
(no sons) and turned them into “the
fantastic 4” – Preetha, Suneeta,
Shobana and Sangita. Together, they
started a “medical empire” (hospitals,
clinics, insurance company,
pharmacies, education and research
centres, wellness gyms, alternate
medical and many more).
Upasna Kamineni ( 22), Dr
Reddy’s granddaughter, chose to
take the compassion and love
component of the business, and the
concept of touching lives, to another
level. Inspired by her grandmother,
she realised that true happiness is in
sharing and giving.
Making a difference to society and
building health awareness amongst
people are what she mostly
concentrates on.
As vice-president of Apollo
Charities, Upasna has supported a
lot of people through initiatives such
as SACH (Save a Child’s Heart)
Foundation, SAHI - for the hearing
impaired, and CURE - for cancer.
Besides, she has been involved in
the tsunami relief activities, has
helped initiate screening camps in
villages, donated to the Bihar Flood
Relief Fund and done many more.
Another dynamic move was the
concept of “reaching you before
emergencies do”. This gave rise to
“Project Hydrate”. Project Hydrate is
the launch of B+ve’s (a health and
lifestyle magazine) product line. This
product line concentrates on
providing basic elements like water,
sunscreen, etc. to prevent major
illnesses. Sunscreen for protection
and prevention of skin cancer, and
awareness camps to educate people
on basics of a healthy lifestyle like
drinking at least a litre of water every
day.
Her compassion for animals has
led her to become associated with an
NGO called Blue Cross. She has
adopted six donkeys and three
horses while an elephant is soon
going to be added and Upasana
takes great care of them. A firm
believer of a healthy environment to
sustain good health, the family
intends to open an Eco Park and
Night Safari in Hyderabad spanning
112 acres. We

R. S. Prakash
DEBUTANT director I. Ahmed, a
former understudy of film-maker
Kadir has certainly come up
triumphs. He has blended romance
and action in the right proportion
peppering it with some mystery in this
flick. Vaamanan. Jai, Priya, Rahman,
Lakshmirai, Sampath, Urvasi,
Santhanam, Rohini are in the cast.
From his debut film Chennai-600028
Jai, a look-alike of actor Vijay has
been shaping himself well and
Vaamanam could take him further up.
Newcomer Priya looks passable but
nothing more. Yuvan is the scorer,
his music is a total let-down this time!
ARUN Vaidyanathan based in the US
has come up with Achamundu
Achamundu a well-made flick that
has been in circulation across several
international film festivals for quite
some time now. The film showcases
a minimal main cast with Prasanna
and Sneha in the lead roles. John
Shea, an American, plays the villain.
The entire film has been shot on the
US soil. The film was also a prized
entry at the 7th Annual Golden State
Film Festival, early this year. A well-
made thriller, this is with a strong
social message.
LARGELY based on the Demi Moore
starrer, Disclosure Indra Vizha
features Namitha in the lead role as
the seductress who would stop at
nothing to achieve what she desires.
Srikanth makes a comeback as the
hero and he shares a good on-screen
chemistry with Hemamalini his co-
star, a debutant Nazzer as a
multimillionaire with a young and
ambitious wife looks unnatural, right
through. Vivek’s antics are good but
after a point, he begins to cause
boredom. The score of Yatish
warrants mention. The screenplay is
full of frills and thrills, but somehow
proves to be unimpressive as the
spark seems to be missing!
‘G’ company which made Silanthi
(the first movie to be made in digital
format) has now made Swetha which
is again a romantic thriller. Harish
who is the debutant hero, is actually
a bike racer. The new, Bangalore-
Mysore highway, called as the Nice
Road plays a vital role in the film as
an important stunt sequence
involving about 20 racer-bikes, has
been shot there. The rent for hiring a
racer-bike for a day is about Rs
15,000, we are informed! Keerthi
Chawla, who has appeared only in
homely roles so far, has switched to
glamour through this flick which is
being written and directed by Sanjay,
Shiv, a model is being introduced as
a villain.
JAMES Vasanthan, the television
personality-turned-film composer who
stunned the audience with his
melodious scores in
Subramaniyapuram is back in the
reckoning with Yadhumaagi which
has mostly newcomers in the lead
roles. R. Balakumar is the writer-
director while Mohammed Nazir is
the cinematographer.
P. P. G. ENTERPRISES Vaigai
which features two newcomers Bala
and Visaka in the lead roles in a
gripping tale of love set against a
rural backdrop, as the theme is said
to be based on a real-life story. The
characters look so real without being
cinematic. The narration is linear but
the screenplay has enough twists in
the second half. The climax could
have been cinematic which would
have ensured a happy ending.
Malayalam actor Sai kumar is very
good as the hero’s father. The music
of Sabesh and Murali is appealing.
VINAY, who made his debut with late
Jeeva’s Unnale Unnale followed it
with yet another hit, Jayam Kondan
Modhi Vilayattu his third which has
all the trappings of a hit. The film has
added attraction that enhances the
appeal, is the musical score of
Hariharan and Lesle, affectionately
hailed as the colonial cousins.
Produced by Metro Films (P) Ltd, and
Gemini Industries and Imaging (P)
Ltd, the film is a racy thriller blended
with the right doses of romance and
music. Saran, who is currently busy
with Ajith’s Asal , has written and
directed Modhi Vilayaadu which
never has a dull moment!
G-ANTS Software Solutions (P) Ltd,
is one such software biggie that has
Ventured into film production. The
banner has just entered filmdom
launching its first movie Vizhiyil
Vizhumdaval under the banner G-
ants productions. Ajaz a newcomer,
is being introduced as the lead man
of the film while Shilpa and Anaka
are both the leading ladies, also
freshers. Besides facing the camera
as the hero, Ajaz has also assumed
responsibility for the story,
screenplay, dialogue and direction.
NINAITHALE Innikkum was the title
of veteran film-maker K.
Balachander’s musical extravaganza
of the mid seventies. After nearly 30
years, yet another entertainer has
been made that carries the same title
Ninaithale Innikkum which means
recollection of sweet memories!
Interestingly, the film is a remake of
the Malayalam film Classmates, one
of the biggest hits of Mollywood.
Prithviraj who is equally popular both
in Malayalam as well as in Tamil is
the lead man and the National award
winner Priya Mani is in the female
lead. K. Bhagyaraj is playing cameo
in the film.
ARUN Vijay, the most talented
among the contemporary heroes, has
never been able to make it really big
even though he has done a good
number of memorable roles. Well,
Malai Malai his latest, that has been
produced by Feather Touch
Entertainments has proved to be a
big break for him. Vedika is his pair in
this flick which also has Kasthuri in
an important role. Vijayakumar,
Kadhal Dhandapani, OAK Sundar,
Raiz Khan and many others are in
the cast. Mani Sharma has scored
some foot-tapping numbers. A.
Venkatesh has assumed
responsibility for the racy script and
direction. We
TAMIL STARS S P E A K !
SOUTH BOUND AGAIN?
aunched as Harin i in director
L Shankar’s Boys , Genelia
d’Souza, who sported her own
name yet in another Tamil flick
Sachin; opposite Vijay, did not
exactly have a head start in
Kollywood. While the latter proved a
disaster at the box office, the former
ran into rough weather owing to its
adult theme involving young,
impressionable minds. But Genelia
was certainly better off at Tollywood
as she successfully did girl-next-door
roles in number of Telugu flicks, the
best of them being Bommarilu.
As far as “ Bommarilu is
concerned, Genelia is a record –
holder ‘I played Hasini in Bommarily
(Telugu) and Santosh Subramaniam
(Tamil) and now I am playing Pooja
Saxena in the Hindi version titled It’s
my Life opposite Harman Baweja
which is being directed by Aneez
Bazmaa,” says Genelia who was at
Chennai recently in connection with
the endorsement of a soft drink.
Thanks to the chain of girl-next-
door image that has worked out in
her favour that now she is constantly
bombarded with offers of
EXPLORING NEW TERRAIN IN TAMIL CINEMA!
ossibly, Sathyam Cinema in
P Chennai hottest destination on
an average, at any time of the
year, it records an amazing
percentage of occupancy as high as
70! Through its six-screens, that
which could be rated the highest in
the country. Also, Sathyam Cinema,
located in the heart of Chennai is one
among the first in Chennai and
possibly in the country too to
R. Prakash
endorsements, a record number
according to a source from the ad
world.
The cute-looking damsel can
certainly take pride of the fact that
introduced Digital Projection (RDX)
in its screens which has been
powered by Qube from Real Image
Media Technologies, which is the
country’s leading provider of
technology in the film video and
audio domains. The company has
also pioneered several technology
revolutions over the past two
decades.
Sathyam Cinema and real Image
she has managed to replace Rani
Mukherji and Preity Zinta as brand
ambassadors for a couple of
commodities.
The lass in her early twenties, has
of course been lucky with respect to
her Bollywood innings. Following a
disastrous debut there, she staged a
dramatic comeback after a couple of
years with Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
(JTYJN), which established her there
again as a youth icon.
Genelia has three Hindi films in
her Kitty at the moment. It My Life,
Life Partner, Hook Ya Crook . She
could be soon signing for another big
project.
Krishna Vamsi’s Sasirekha
Parinayam was her recent film in
Telugu in which she played the role
of a woman fighting against dowry,
sans any make-up. She is expected
to do another Telugu film Katha this
year.
“I am very proud of my south
Indian films which enabled me to
hone, my skills. I am looking forward
for good roles in Tamil films too,” She
says. Should one read between the
lines?
have now collaborated to produce
their first feature film in Tamil, titled
Thiru Thiru Thuru Thuru – being
directed by the first-time (female)
film-maker Nandhini J. S. It will be
the first Tamil film to have an all-
digital release in the country as well
as abroad. The movie, which will be
released in Telugu too, is shot on
Red One Camera and post-produced
in 4K Resolution Digital Colour
grading which will be of behavioral attitudes, the duo get
executed on Digital drawn to each other, as they always
Vision’s film master, the say-opposites attract each other-
first Indian film to be done while the audience are
on this system. entertained also with non-stop
J. S. Nandhini, the humour.
debutante director is a A DFF gold medal winner,
gold medallist from the Sudhir Choudhary is
Film and Television cranking the camera.
Institute of Tamil Nadu. Veteran film-maker and actor
As early as in 2003 did Mouli plays an interesting
she draw the attention of character role in the film which is
the film fraternity by projected to an entirely new
bagging the state award dimension, according to a unit
for her short film, Ottam . hand. With the shooting
She has also assisted director schedules having drawn
Priya V for the Tamil movie Kanda to a close the post-
Naal Mudhal. production work is on.
Rupa, a fresher from Bangalore The audio of the film
who is model hailing from Tamil Nadu is soon to be
is the heroine and Ajmal of Anjadhe launched following
fame is her pair. which the film too will
Characterised by contrasting traits hit the screen.
 THE ‘GLAM’ ROUTE TO SUCCESS!
lam dolls from Kerala have
G always managed to make it
big on the Kollywood screen
and even further up the country’s
map, that too quite successfully!
Asin, Nayanthara, so on and so forth.
Sridevika who is basically from
Kerala is the latest to join the troupe
she is quite fluent in Tamil language
and she accounts for it thoughts her
base at Palakkad.
After, a couple of assignments
that really did not matter much, the
demure girl is highly hopeful of a
solid second innings in Tamil and the
two noteworthy projects with which
she is associated are Sarithiram
written and directed by Sami of Uyir
and Mirugam, both of which created
a big sensation for the most unlikely
of reasons, and of course,
Gnabagamgal with lyricist Pa. Vijay
as the lead man.
Sridevika was actually busy with
A GRAND GALA EPIC!
ri M. Karunanidhi, the chief
S minister of the state of Tamil
Nadu, had penned a novel,
Poonar-Shankar , in the late
seventies, the theme of which was
set against a historic backdrop.
Actor Thiagarajan is now making
that novel into a movie that has been
planned as a big-budget
extravaganza. The movie script
spans three generations of princes
and warriors and has four major
battle sequences including one shot
under water. Napolean who is
presently a part of the Union Ministry
sought and got the permission from
the Prime Minister to act in this.
Actor Prasanth, son of actor-cum-
film-maker Thiagarajan is playing a
dual role as Ponnar and Shankar in
the film which has Sathyaraj,
Rajkiran, Prakashraj, Vijayakumar,
Manorama, Vadivelu and many
others.
The story is about two warrior
brothers who were legends in the
a couple of Kannada and Malayalam
assignments. She doesn’t subscribe
to the comment that she was out of
circulation in Tamil for the past
couple of years. “I should point out
that I have evolved over the past four
years. I am now staging a comeback
into Tamil films as the offers that
came along my way were lucrative”,
she declares.
A re-entry into Tamil films that too
in a project with director Sami who
got into problems with Padmapriya
and even reportedly slapped her for
non-cooperation.
I am aware of the incident that
occurred during the shoot of
Mirugam, she smiles meaningfully. ‘I
agreed to do this film because I liked
the narration and my character. The
subject is period – bound and the
story takes place between the sixties
and eighties.
I am quite comfortable working
Kongu region of Tamil
Nadu, says a unit hand.
The novel that was
penned by Sri M.
Karunanidhi, was also
serialised in the Tamil
weekly Kungumam
years ago.
The film was formally
flagged off by the C. M. and
according to Thiagarajan who is
producing and directing the film
nearly, 60 per cent of the film would
make use of graphics.
While speaking about the film, Sri
M. Karunanidhi said that the period
venture will provide a good
opportunity for Prasanth to prove his
potential as a thorough professional.
Also, I am sure Thiagarajan will look
upon Prasanth as an actor and not
as his son alone, on the sets!
He also mentioned about the
success of Jeans in which Prasanth
had played a dual role.
For his part, Prasanth enthused
with director Sami and what
happened on the sets of his earlier
film is no concern of mine. More so, it
has absolutely no relevance to this
project and the present schedules,
she elaborates.
When quizzed about her character
in Gnabagamgal Sridevika’s face
brightened up. “The film’s script has
enough potential for me to record and
register my acting skills. I simply fell
in love with the story, especially my
character ever since Jeevan, the
director, narrated it to me. It is
basically a tale of love and I play a
North Indian girl born and brought up
here at Chennai.”
About working with Pa. Vijay, the
lyricist-turned-actor she says, ‘It was
fun working with him as he is a very
jovial person and I never felt, I was
working with a new face though he
is a senior in the capacity of a
lyricist’!
that he was extremely
excited to work in a film,
the script of which has
been penned by the
great writer that the
C.M. is.
Prasanth, who has
been passing through a
bad phase in his
personal life, is all set
to tide over all his
setbacks by riding over
in a double role in this prestigious
project!
The pre-production work for this
flick has been on for almost a year
and some massive sets include
ancient townships with temples, lakes
palaces and forts. Looks like it will be
a case of double delight for actor
Prasanth who is truly talented, but
somehow success has not been on
his side for quite a while. Hope the
wind of fortune and fame changes its
course in favour of young actor.
From what one hears from the
unit, the project which is a period epic
is going to be punctuated by glitz and
grandeur. We
 VIRAL HEPATITIS
he outbreak of hepatitis B in
T
Gujarat is worrying news.
One of the most prosperous
states of India is hit by an
other wise preventable dis -
ease. The reason may be
carelessness or sheer
callousness by the health
personnel concerned, but a
large number of people have
been affected. It also affects the
productivity of the individuals and
society. If India has to become a
developed country by all means, it
has to improve its health sector and
control preventable diseases. Greater
awareness needs to be generated
among the masses regarding the
preventable diseases, so that there
can be active participation of the
public in the prevention of
preventable illnesses.
116
Viral hepatitis is a chronic affliction
of the liver by viruses which are of
five types, A, B, C, D and E.
Technically speaking, hepatitis
means inflammation of liver cells and
if that is caused by a virus then it is a
viral hepatitis. The illness is
manifested by jaundice (yellow
discolouration of eyes) which is a
characteristic sign of affliction of the
liver. The patient also has complaints
of passing yellow urine. There is also
loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting,
low-grade fever, malaise, etc. in
varying degrees. At times there may
be obstruction to the flow of bile due
to the swelling of liver cells which
causes intense itching.
As the disease progresses, there
is further damage to liver cells,
leading to cirrhosis, where the liver
tissue is replaced by fibrous tissue,
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
When your eyes or
urine is yellow,
consult your doctor.
By Rachna Pande
causing further derangement of the
liver function. There can be swelling
all over the body including the
stomach, due to retention of water
and salt. The person may have
vomiting of blood or pass blood in
stools. With further damage to liver
cells, liver failure sets in, which is
invariably fatal. Kidney failure can
also occur thus causing the patient
to die due to many causes.
COMPLICATIONS
Cancer of the liver is a long-term
complication of cirrhosis which can
occur if the patient survives the
extensive injury of the liver cells.
The liver is a vital organ of the
body. Proteins, factors needed for
clotting of the blood and glucose are
produced in the liver. It also helps in
the metabolism of fats and many
other substances. Therefore, damage
to the liver leads to derangement in
many functions of the body.
With the pandemic of AIDS
worldwide, it is important to know
about viral hepatitis, because, except
for hepatitis A and E, all other types
of hepatitis are caused by the same
behaviour pattern and risk factors as
AIDS. Sexual promiscuity, pricks by
unsterlised needles and razors,
accidental contamination with blood,
all these are the underlying causes
for hepatitis as well as AIDS. The
presence of one facilitates the
acquisition of the other. In fact, in a
conservative society like India’s, viral
hepatitis and AIDS are both said to
spread more due to the reuse
of disposable syringes and the
use of contaminated needles
by drug addicts, rather than by
sexual promiscuity. The
outbreak in Gujarat is said to
be due to the reuse of
disposable syringes. If a follow-
up of these cases is done after
three and six months, some of
them may have acquired the
HIV infection also.
VARIETIES OF
HEPATITIS
Hepatitis A is acquired by the
ingestion of food or water
contaminated with the faeces of an
infected person. Outbreaks can occur
due to contaminated water. The
illness caused is benign and good
recovery mostly occurs, though at
times, if there is extensive liver cell
injury, it can lead to acute liver
failure. Hepatitis B and C are spread
by the use of contaminated syringes
and needles and also through sexual
intercourse. Hepatitis D or delta virus
is acquired by the same routes as
Hepatitis B and can coexist or
replicate only in the presence of the
hepatitis B virus. A person suffering
from both hepatitis B and D infections
is at the risk of developing a more
serious form of disease. The hepatitis
E infection occurs by the faeco-oral
route like Hepatitis A but tends to
cause a more severe and chronic
form of liver disease.
Use of hepato-toxic substances
(those that damage the liver) like
alcohol make one more prone
to severe illnesses due to
hepatitis. Early and more
severe complications are also
likely to develop in those
persons who are exposed to
other toxins inflicting damage
to liver cells. Certain drugs
used for pain like NSAIDS
(non- steroidal anti-
inflammatory drugs like
Ibuprofen and diclofenac),
paracetamol, antibiotics like
erythromycin also cause liver
damage.
Diagnosis of hepatitis is
established by serological tests.
Once diagnosis is confirmed, anti-
viral drugs can be used, but are
useful only when used early, ideally
within two to three days of illness.
Other drugs used for treatment only
provide some palliative relief, but do
little to minimise the damage done.
IF THERE IS EXTENSIVE
LIVER CELL INJURY,
IT CAN LEAD TO ACUTE
LIVER FAILURE.
HEPATITIS B AND C ARE
SPREAD BY THE USE OF
CONTAMINATED
SYRINGES AND
NEEDLES AND ALSO
THROUGH SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Once part of the liver is
injured, complications
invariably follow in more or
less extent. Sometimes,
the patient may apparently
recover after the attack but
complication like chronic
hepatitis may develop after
many years. Preventive
vaccines are currently
available only for hepatitis
A and B infections.
PREVENTION
Therefore, it is prudent
to prevent the disease.
Good food hygiene, if maintained
while cooking, serving and eating
,minimises the chances of infection
with hepatitis A and E.
Avoiding promiscuous and
premarital sex is a good measure to
avoid viral hepatitis B, C and D. One
should be cautious while taking a
hair-cut, massage, pedicure or
manicure because, the use of
contaminated tools in these settings
is yet another risk factor acquiring
viral hepatitis. Unless needed
strongly, any kind of injection or prick
should be avoided.
If some injection is at all
necessary a person needs to be
prudent to see that a fresh
disposable syringe and needle is
used. Vaccination is available for
hepatitis A and B. If someone is a
high-risk case like food handlers,
health-care personnel, etc, one can
take the vaccination in advance for
protection. Vaccine taken as per
schedule provides lifelong
immunity unless one has a
debilitating illness. If there is
someone in the family suffering
from hepatitis, particularly B,
vaccination is done for all
nursing the patient physically.
One should be careful lest
unknowingly because of
ignorance, the hepatitis virus
enter the body. At any sign of
yellow discolouration of the eyes
or urine, it is advisable to seek
medical treatment at the earliest
to prevent long-term complica-
tions of hepatitis. We
117
 KABINI
THE PERFECT GETAWAY FOR
NATURE LOVERS
i, my name is Barry Smith. I

H
am an MCA student in
Bangalore. I visited Kabini
last December along with
3 college friends, and would
A short like to share some of my
experiences with you. The
holiday amidst a Kabini Wildlife Sanctuary,
wealth of wildlife. situated in Karapur village
in Karnataka, is a quaint
By Barry Smith little paradise on the banks of the
River Kabini, a pristine area that
abounds with nature and wildlife.
Kabini is an additional treasure in
South India’s wildlife sanctuary
attraction; also in the region are
Nagarhole National Park and
Bandipur National Park (Karnataka),
Madhumalai Wildlife Sanctuary
(Tamil Nadu), and Wyanad Wildlife
Sanctuary (Kerala), the four
protected areas that constitute India’s
first biosphere reserve called the
Nilgiri Biosphere Reserve. Kabini is
very close to Nagarhole National
Park, lying cosily in its southern
periphery.
Our first sight of Kabini Wildlife
Sanctuary was breathtaking. Spread
over an area of 55 acres of forest and
river, it is surrounded on three sides

118 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

by the bend of the River Kabini,
giving it a paradise-like look. Flashes
of blue water are interwoven in a
layer of rich deciduous forests with
darting sun-rays filtering through the
trees and reflecting on the water; this,
in addition to a mystical orange hue
that emanates from the trees (mainly
teak, rosewood, sandalwood and
bamboo), lends a mind-boggling,
kaleidoscopic effect to the scenario.
Adding the finishing touch to the
scene are images of animals and
birds roaming wild and free in their
natural habitat. It is no wonder
therefore, that Kabini Wildlife
Sanctuary has been listed as one of
the top 5 wildlife resorts in the world
by the respected British travel
magazine, Tatler’s Travel Guide.
The River Kabini, reputed to be
the most feminine of South Indian
rivers due to its calm flow, originates
in Wayanad (Kerala) from the area
where the Panamaram and
Mananthavady rivers merge and flow
eastward, passing through Kabini to
join the Kaveri River at Tirumakudal
Naraispur in Karnataka, which
eventually empties into Bay of
Bengal. As the river flows through
Kabini, the huge, 2,284-ft Kabini Dam
impounds its water within its massive
19.52 tmcft structure. The
backwaters of the Kabini Dam are
teeming with wildlife especially in
summer when the water level
withdraws to form rich grasslands.
With our minds still reeling from
the delights that awaited our
exploration, another pleasant
surprise awaited us: the Kabini River
Lodge, the place where tourists stay
while at Kabini, is simply marvelous.
Its varied accommodation offers
2 colonial style blocks of 7 bedrooms
each; 6 twin-bed cottages
overlooking the River Kabini; and 5
spacious tents also overlooking lodge
of the erstwhile Maharaja of Mysore,
Krishna Rajendra Wodeyar. Later, it
was used as their Viceregal Lodge by
the British, in which their Viceroys and
visiting foreign dignitaries were
entertained. Kabini River Lodge is
presently run by Jungle Lodges and
Resorts under the tourism department
of the Government of Karnataka.
We experienced the jeep safari on
the first day. The safari trail, naturally,
lays along the banks of the River
Kabini because the greatest attraction
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
of Kabini is the convergence of
wildlife and birdlife on its banks. A
guide, who we were told was a
qualified and experienced naturalist,
was attached to our group on all 3
days of our stay in Kabini, not only
to identify the birds and animals
sighted, but also to provide
interesting peculiarities and other
titbits about them.
ANIMAL SIGHTED
The first animal that we saw
during our Jeep safari (and later saw
regularly in most areas) was the
Asiatic wild elephant. Just as
Ranthambore National Park is
renowned as India’s premier tiger
wildlife resort, Kabini is the country’s
top elephant wildlife resort, so much
so that it is said: “Elephants are the
rulers at Kabini.” The large number
of elephants present here is due to
Kabini having been the centre of the
kheddah practice (rounding up wild
elephants for domestication), a
practice that was banned by the
government in 1971. We saw a herd
of at least 50 elephants bathing or
drinking from the river.
119
 Our first sight of
Kabini Wildlife
Sanctuary was
breathtaking. Spread
over an area of 55
acres of forest and
river, it is surrounded
on three sides by the
bend of the River
Kabini, giving it a
paradise-like look.
We were delighted to see how
they collected water in their trunks
and splashed it on their bodies, their
trumpeting cries echoing mightily all
around us. Our guide explained that
elephants have a priceless ecological
impact as they not only tone down
the harsh and extreme habitat by
converting savannah and woodlands
into grasslands, but they also make
water available for other birds and
animals in two ways: they dig water
holes in dry river beds, and the deep
depressions formed by their
heavy footprints and bodies trap
rainfall.
A HERD OF ANTELOPES
We next saw a small herd of
antelopes grazing on the lush
greenery. As soon as they saw us,
they veered away, jumping over
bushes in languid grace. We also
saw a tigress basking in the sunlight
with 4 cubs frolicking around her — a
sight we were fortunate to see,
according to our guide, because it is
120
very hard to get a
glimpse of these
reclusive creatures.
We also saw a large
number of birds during
that first day of our Jeep
safari. While large flocks
of birds swept across the
sky in timeless motion,
some were perched on
tree branches. Our guide identified
them as the large egret, racket-railed
drongo, fairy bluebird, Malabar
trogon, crested serpent eagle,
osprey, scarlet minivet and white-
breasted kingfisher. We particularly
like the golden-beacked wood -
peckers that were tapping on trees
and branches with their sharp beaks,
searching for insects to feed on.
A strange incident occurred as we
were on our way back to the Lodge.
An elephant suddenly broke through
the dense foliage some distance
away along the trail and came
charging towards our jeep. We were
petrified with fear, more so when our
driver stopped the Jeep. As we
watched with horrified eyes, the
elephant came on relentlessly and
when nearly on us, suddenly stopped
in a flurry of dust and veered away,
vanishing into the thick greenery. As
we strove to calm our wildly
palpitating hearts, the guide calmly
explained that such incidents were
not uncommon because, at certain
times of the year, male elephants
secrete a fluid through an orifice near
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
their ears for a certain period, and
during that time they do not eat well
and tend to behave very erratically.
Dining at the Kabini River Lodge’s
unique “Gol Ghar” was an experience
we will never forget. It is a circular,
open side gazebo overlooking the
Kabini River and is well supported by
a fine restaurant offering a wide array
of mouth-watering Indian, Chinese
and continental food, in addition to a
well-stocked bar. In between, visitors
have the option to view wildlife
movies that are continuously shown
during the evening in a spacious
audio-visual hall.
THE SECOND DAY
The highlight of the second day
was the coracle boat ride and motor
boat ride. A coracle is a small,
rounded boat made of animal hide
stretched over a wicker frame. Our
coracle could accommodate only
4 persons (the exact number in my
group) and the boatman. During the
half-hour ride (a large circular route)
we were more concerned about
staying afloat (expecting the frail craft
to capsise at any moment) and
hoping that the silently gliding,
menacing-looking crocodiles would
not attack us. We were fortunate on
both counts: our boatman was very
skilled, and the crocodiles seemed
more interested in the small herd of
elephants on the river bank, glaring
angrily at their antics, while their

gaping jaws seemed to be grinning
wicked thoughts as they hungrily
waited for their prey — deer and
other small animals that come to the
river to drink water.
The motor boat ride was a
comparatively longer and more
pleasurable one. We passed several
herds of elephants drinking water or
bathing in the river. We saw
3 varieties of deer: chital (spotted
deer), muntjac (barking deer) and
sambhar, which our guide said is the
largest deer found in India. Our guide
also pointed to menacing carnivores
lurking in the background, waiting for
a chance to pounce on their prey: a
leopard, a pack of dhole (pack-
hunting wild dogs), and the ever-
present scavengers (hyenas, jackals
and vultures), waiting to pick the
bones clean of dead animals.
We also saw several birds during
our motor boat ride. Through
binoculars provided by our guide, we
clearly saw the warbler, spotted
dove, blue jay, hill mynah, bulbul and
barbet. Blue-winged parakeets let out
piercing cries as they flew through
the trees in busy feeding groups.
Grey shrikes were busy catching
grasshoppers and dragon flies, killing
them by piercing them on the sharp
thorny bushes before eating them.
The white-necked stork, black lbis
and white lbis blissfully foraged in the
river for fish. But the picture that
captivated us the most was that of
the male Indian peacock, pirouetting
his lustrous, rainbow-hued tail as he
loudly voiced his mesmerising mating
call.
THE LAST DAY
We were entertained on the third
and last day by the elephant-back
ride and bird viewing from
watchtowers. The elephant-back ride
was a delightful experience. Safely
perched on comfortable seats in a
solid square box atop our elephant
that was controlled by a rider called a
mahout, we saw several animals like
the Indian civet, giant malabar
squirrel, wild boar, black-necked
hare, monkey and sloth bear. We
were particularly impressed by the
mighty Indian bison, locally known as
Gaur which we were told is the
biggest of its kind in the world.
We also had a shocking
experience: high in the branches of a
tall tree we saw a thick python in the
midst of its meal: the torso of a half-
eaten monkey clearly visible as the
reptile laboriously swallowed it.
We spent a long time on several
watchtowers ideally located around
the Lodge to spy on birds on the river
bank. We saw the shy juvenile jacana
which hid among the weeds, tickkel’s
flower pecker that busily dug honey
from flowers, the Malabar pied eagle
that was engrossed in eating what
seemed like a small mouse, the
brown-headed fishing eagle that was
skimming the water in search of fish,
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
several turtles moving along
unhurriedly, and a few spot billed
ducks quacking and waddling around
imperiously.
The three days spent in Kabini
marked a memorable period in my
life. My friends and I appreciated that
the sighting of wildlife in our
ecosystem creates awareness and
respect among humans towards
other life forms that also inhabit our
planet. In particular, the large number
of elephants we saw made us realise
the urgent need to conserve these
magnificent animals. We have all
come across increasing incidents of
elephant poaching, some blatant and
some atrocious, and almost all
conducted in connivance with forest
protection authorities. The authori-
ties concerned in the Indian Govern-
ment should coordinate with State
government forest and wildlife
protection authorities to increase the
protection of wild elephants by laying
down heavy punishment for poachers
and deviating officials.
As we left Kabini, we realised that
the three days we spent there were
periods of peace and tranquillity, far
away from the noisy traffic and
pressures of city life that receded into
the background as we gave ourselves
up to jungle sounds and smells and
the companionship of wildlife. The
stirring words of John Burroughs, “I
go to Nature to be soothed and
healed, and to have my senses put in
order,” aptly describe how we felt.
Kabini is accessible as
follows:
By rail: Nearest railway station
is Mysore (80 km).
By air: Nearest airport is
Bangalore (220 km).
By road: Buses from Ooty (240
km) and Bangalore (220 km) are
available to Mysore. By bus or taxi
from Mysore along the Mysore-
Mananthavadi Road to Karapur
village.
Best time to visit: October to
May (June to September period
should be avoided due to the
heavy rainfall experienced by this
region.) We
121
 he animal world is a typical

T
wonderland. Unlike human
society, there are no laws,
no constitution and no
system in their existence.
There is complete jungle raj
where only the fittest and the
mightiest survive. There is
no common sense and civic
sense. Yes of course, the
majority of them have been bestowed
with the sixth sense. Punishments
are no doubt very tough and harsh
with no appeal provisions. Fear
phobia prevails everywhere and
danger lurks in every corner. Life
Learn a trick suffers with full uncertainty. If
anything can be guaranteed it is
or two from death.

monkeys, Problem in co-existence: In an

unprecedented display of greed and
who have a brutal reflexes humans have
encroached upon the already limited
better sense of and restricted forest area meant for
the animal kingdom. Their areas of
security than habitation are shrinking still further
by each passing day. In such a
human beings. critical situation many animals with
nomadic characteristics have left the
By K. M. Sharma jungles for good and decided to co-
exist with humans and willingly

MONKEY’S
adopted urban lifestyle with suitable
adaptability. As a consequence the
struggle for urban space sharing with

PRECAUTIONS
humans has already started and
ultimately these selected species of
animals have become a nuisance in

TO POISON
the urbanised environment of the
human habitats.
In modern times we are noticing
that monkeys have violently invaded
the urban conglomerates of human
settlements and have asserted their
right to co-exist with the humans and
enjoy the nature’s gift of a vast
variety of eatables. The pattern of
their consumption has given ample
proof that there is no major difference
in the eating habits and preferences
between monkeys and humans. Their
behavioural attitudes have confirmed
that they are also the ancestors of
the present human race.
Monkeys have full knowledge like
humans except the language for
communication. But they have a
perfect science of communication

122 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

with each other with sound variants,
signs and signals. They act in a
better organisational way to run a
family. Social scientists and animal
behaviourists unequivocally confirm
that the monkeys live in groups and
in the group hierarchy there is a head
of the group whose orders prevail for
strict compliance by junior group
members. They practise promiscuity
and the head can impregnate any
number of females in the group. Such
behaviour of monkeys is visible in
broad daylight in the city.
Monkey menace: The monkey
menace has reached an alarming
stage. Monkey-bite cases are
increasing by leaps and bounds. It
has also been observed that
monkeys bite women on the cheek
only. They enter the houses, open
the fridge door, take cold drink bottles
and uncork the bottles and consume
the cold drinks. Cases have also
been reported about their enjoying
beer and whisky kept in the fridge.
This amusing fact is further confirmed
by a report which says that in one of
the temples in Rajasthan the
monkeys are fed liquor. If not served,
they make a hullabaloo!
The Municipal Corporation of
Delhi (MCD) has miserably failed to
get rid of monkey menace in the
affected localities. In desperation the
harassed public is trying different
different methods to frighten away or
eliminate monkeys.
A trap: I would like to share with
the readers a method adopted by a
family. This family was fed up with
the monkey menace and felt most
annoyed by the irresponsible
behaviour and apathy of the MCD in
clearing the surroundings of the
monkey menace. They prepared khir
and laced it with some poisonous
substance. A group of monkeys
came as usual almost at the same
time. The group was happy to see
the khir in a vast Bhagona utensil. In
their heart of hearts they must have
thanked the host for providing a tasty
feast.
But as per standing instructions of
the head of the group, members of
the group could not touch the khir
unless permitted by the head. So the
head of the group came near the khir,
smelled it but did not eat it. He took
away the entire group. After some
time the group came back and ate all
the khir.
The family was happy to note that
the poisonous khir was ultimately
eaten by the monkeys and they
thought that all the monkeys would
die a miserable death. Poor fellows.
But surprisingly and unexpectedly
nothing happened to monkeys. In the
coming days the monkeys as usual
indulged in their mischievous
activities and no end seemed visible
to the people’s predicament.
Not to accept defeat at the hands
of monkeys the people of the locality
mustered courage and decided to
take another chance to strike another
blow at the monkeys. After a few
days, the family again prepared khir
and again laced it with the same
poisonous substance and kept in the
open space. The unrelenting
monkeys, as usual, came, saw and
smelled the khir . They
instantaneously understood the trap
and went away.
But this time the people had an
elaborate plan to unveil the secret of
the monkeys. They decided to send
two-three members of the locality as
spies to follow the monkeys and find
out what they eat before consuming
the poisonous khir. The chase started
and the spies were on the prowl. The
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
Monkeys were unaware of secret
plan.
Gular an antidote: To their
astonishment, the spices found that
the group of monkeys went to a
nearby nursery full of various fruit
trees. They selected a gular tree
laden with fruit and flowers. They ate
a lot of gular fruits and came back to
the spot where the khir was still lying.
Without hesitation the entire group
consumed the khir and went away.
The poison in the khir could not harm
them at all.
The spies collected samples of the
gular fruit from the same tree and
took the samples for an expert
opinion to a botanist and a local
ayurvedic hakim to find out their
properties. Both confirmed that gular
fruit acts as an antidote to any or
everything poisonous. Hakimji further
enlightened that the gular tree bark,
leaves and fruit juice can be
administered to an affected person.
He or she can be saved in 99 per
cent cases.
It is really a mystery how monkeys
had a perfect knowledge of gular
being an antidote to the poison in the
khir. We
123
 ERRATIC SCHEDULES
How much should one sleep?
n elderly wiseacre living knotty problem. The time when I shall
A
next door has a go to bed at night is more or less
considerable stock of fixed, but when I shall wake up in the
maxims and wise old morning has always been a matter of
sayings stored in his grey uncertainty to me – and also a topic
head, which he has a of speculation and jocular comments
knack of introducing at the for my wife and children.
right moment in a There are days when I wake up to
conversation, so to speak, find that the family has already had
to hit the nail on the head. its breakfast and, in the kitchen, the
The other day I heard him use one better half is gently chiding our
to pontifically moralise on how many butter-fingered domestic help to be a
hours of sleep a human being little more careful with the crockery.
normally needs in a day to keep The ‘Late lateef’ in me then has to
fighting fit. stomach the jibes and jokes my
“Nature made it six, comfort family often makes about my irregular
seven, luxury eight, and dissipation sleeping hours.
stretched it to nine,” recited the But they say every cloud has a
ancient with practised fluency. “The silver lining to it. My erratic schedule
wise, of course, stick to what nature of sleep, too, has a sunny side. I
says, the easy-going ones generally mean there are days when I find
abide by the dictates of comfort, but myself wide awake at four in the
the dissipated and the habitually morning, which is considered by the
indolent hardly ever bother about devout and the god-fearing as the
their hours of sleep.” ambrosial hour, that is, amritvela ,
That set off a train of deep according to the Sikh scriptures.
thought. I have, I told myself in a And sometimes I am up even a
regretful vein, never consistently little earlier than that, when all other
followed either nature, or comfort, or members of our family lie ensconced
even luxury. In fact, my hours of in the lap of Morpheus, the god of
sleep, on any given day, are as sleep. I am the only one then raring
unpredictable as the future of any to jump out of bed to start my day.
124 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
By A. C. Tuli
And I do, the fear of disturbing the
family notwithstanding.
My wife, whose hours of sleep are
fixed and so well regulated that I can
almost set my watch by them, has
always viewed my erratic schedule
with perplexity and concern. The
other day, when I quietly stole out of
bed at 4 am and straightway tip-toed
my way to the kitchen to brew myself
a nice cup of tea, I committed the
unpardonable crime of allowing a
bone china cup to slip out of my hand
to break into some half a dozen
pieces on the floor. This seemingly
minor mishap created such a devil of
a racket in the kitchen that it was
sufficient to pull the better half out of
her deep slumbers to make a few
choice comments on the clumsiness
of those who ruin honest folks’ sleep
at an unearthly hour.
“You should consult a doctor,”
advised a friend the other day when I
told him about my problem. “Getting
up at 9.30 in the morning is no doubt
a trifle too lousy, but being earlier
than the earliest crowing cockerel is
also a bit odd. The ideal hour for
anyone to leave his or her bed in the
morning, according to me, should be,
say, 6 o’clock. Of course, half an
hour this way or that way hardly
matters.”
There was indeed some
substance in what he said.
The doctor to whom I went for
consultation listened to my saga of
sleep quite sympathetically, but then,
suddenly furrowing his brow
interrogatively, he asked me, “What’s
wrong with waking up early or late in
the morning? It’s certainly not an
ailment.” Then, with a smile and a
naughty glint in his eye, he added,
“You have perhaps forgotten that the
important thing is that one wakes up
in the morning, otherwise… ha! ha!
ha!”
ERRATIC SLEEP TIME –
NO DISEASE
Strange sense of humour, I
wondered. But then, a little more
responsibly, the doctor said, “Our
body is so fine-tuned by nature that it
normally gets all the sleep it needs
irrespective of the hour at which we
go to bed at night. Besides, there are
millions of people in this world who
Cooking pleasure
We had just been married. He was
a Captain in the Army. Barely 15
days after our marriage, my husband
asked me if I could cook. He had
already invited 12 people and praised
my culinary skills to the sky. He had
seen that I was a good cook but then I
had not put my hands to parties
single-handedly.
He encouraged me, “Darling, if I
had not seen you cooking at home, I
would never have invited my buddies
as well as General Bose and General
Kataria with their wives.” Oh,
another bombshell.
We were in Shimla. So there was
no chance of food getting spoilt, even
have no regular hours
of sleep. Some of
them have to go to
their work place on
shift duty, so their
hours of sleep are not
always the same.
But, in spite of that,
they still manage to
get all the sleep they
need to keep well.
“But your problem,
I find, is that you want
to wake up at a
particular hour in the
morning. Well, to begin with, keep an
alarm clock by your bedside. That’ll
certainly help.
“Once you get used to waking up
with the ringing of the alarm bell, it
will become a habit with you. But my
advice is that you shouldn’t take it too
seriously. Rising early or late in the
morning, I repeat, is not at all a
disease.”
Ever since, I have been following
the doctor’s advice meticulously. But
not with much success so far, for
there are days when even the alarm
prepared it one day earlier. I made a
list of ingredients and gave them to
him each. Then, from the recipe I
prepared everything very carefully.
There was Hungarian chicken, mutton
do-piaza mushroom, almond soup, the
starters and other snacks like Russian
salad, etc. Lo and behold. Each dish
turned out to be very delicious. For
each dish I had put in an extra effort.
The Generals praised and others
lauded my efforts. They told their
wives to pick up tips from Mrs Chopra.
Hubby was elated. He got a
recommendation from his Generals.
All is well that ends well. I had
followed the maxim: Work is worship.
No wonder the meal was sumptuous
— out of this world.
– Kunwarani Harbans Chopra,
Bangalore.
Lost — then found
This happened a few months ago, I
visited an exhibition with my husband
and was returning home. When I
reached home I could not find my
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
clock fails to rouse me from my
sleep. The alarm bell, say my
children, rings itself out but I keep
blithely snoring in bed.
My wife, however, has her own
views on this topic. The other day, I
heard her say that there are some
blokes in this world who need
something much stronger than an
alarm clock to rouse them from their
Kumbhkarnian sleep. A bucketful of
ice-cold water splashed on their
faces, she said, would perhaps be a
little more effective! We
clutch purse which I was carrying in
my hand. My mobile phone, cash of
500 rupees, my Bank of Baroda debit
card and my university identity card
were all in it.
When I wanted to make an urgent
call I realised that my purse was lost.
Suddenly I rang up my number. and
prayed that somebody might attend
it. I had lost all hopes that I will get it
back, as the exhibition was a
crowded place. Then, to my surprise,
somebody picked up the phone and
said that, while getting onto the bike
I had dropped my purse. He had tried
to call us back but we did not hear
his shout.
Then that man told that he stays in
Aminjikarai, a very distant area from
my place and told to come and get
my belongings back. It was late night
but still my brother went and
recovered my belongings. Then I
rang him back and thanked him.
Through this column I once again
want to thank my brother.
– R. Humera Sultana, Chennai
125
 andit Ronu Majumdar is a
P
musician with an inter -
national standing. This flute
maestro has also made
waves in India quite recently
having composed music for
India’s first I-Max film Mystic
India. Known for his off-stage
research in creating the
perfect flute instrument for
concert performances, the pandit has
also been instrumental in creating a
flute that is longer than the conven-
tional one and another, shorter
version, that is ideal for playing the
notes of the lower octave. On stage,
the changeover from one flute to
another is a seamless activity so that
listeners are hardly aware of any
musical change in the process. The
concert and the flute in his hands is
thus a smooth glide along the path
of music, as he blows out the notes
of the raga, in the style of the Maihar
gharana.
In his childhood he was trained to
play the flute by his father Dr Bhanu
Majumdar and later came under the
guidance of the late Pandit Laxman
Prasad Jaipurwale. As a mature
musician, he was taken under the
tutelage of Pandit Raghav Rao, a
senior disciple of Pandit Ravi
Shankar.
A classical musician with a broad
musical outlook, Pandit Ronu
Majumdar has created new wave
music in conjunction with inter -
national musicians like Ry Cooder
PANDIT RONU
MAJUMDAR
The flautist par excellence!
By Subhra Mazumdar
and John Hassles. In addition, he has
several album releases to his credit,
of which the best-selling ones have
been Koi Akela, Song of Nature,
Traveller’s Tale as well as Fusion
Yatra , a popular number with the
youth which Ronu Majumdar had
done in conjunction with Louis Banks.
Besides being one of the most
versatile of Indian musicians, Ronu
Majumdar has a reputation of
receiving prestigious awards for his
unique performances. His most
recent award has been the Pandit
Jasraj Puruskar, in 2008, and the
Aditya Vikram Birla Award, a few
years earlier. A classical musician at
the outset, Ronu Majumdar has
made it his mission to take his music
to the youth.
WE met the musician for an
exclusive interview:
How do you compose music for
a fusion number?
The Fusion numbers that I have
composed are thematic works on
dawn, or awakening or nature, and
are based on popular ragas . They
also have a folk touch in them
because the flute is a folk instrument
and music from that source sounds
good on my instrument.
Who is the target audience for
Fusion numbers?
The young generation of listeners
are not used to listening to classical
music. Fusion music is aimed at
drawing them into the fold of music
and in that way, introduce them to
the greatness of classical music.
They are not yet ready to accept pure
classical music but bringing them to
this stage is difficult unless one first
introduces them to music through
Fusion numbers.
The flute is a very soft
instrument and the youth of today
are drawn to loud sounds in
music. Do they come to your
concerts?
The youth are gradually coming
forward to listen to the flute. On my
part, I like to make the playing
interesting for them by elaborating on
the flute. It is true that the instrument
has a soft sound, but the flute is also
capable of many variations in play
and that attracts the young listeners.
Have you played duets with
other instrumentalists in the
classical style?
Yes, most recently I have played
with saxophonist Kadri Gopalnath. I
have also played alongside the
Carnatic vocalist Bombay Jaishree,
in a format that would match both our
styles. Internationally, I have played
with Ry Cooder and Christian
Seiferd.
What is your advice on making
classical music more universal?
On my part I have often given
lecture demonstrations. This is not to
students of music only. I have also
lectured to participants at personality
development classes and made them
aware of the cultural richness of our
music. I have made them understand
that music is an important part of our
lives. We should not run after music
as unmaad ( frenzy) but realise that
alaap, where I slowly develop the
raga, and follow it up with a catchy
jod passage built around a fast
tempo. As our gharana is a layakari
gharana, where laya or beat is
important, I introduce improvisations
of the layakari in my music.
What are your future plans?
To play my music at different
venues around the world. It was a
landmark occasion when I played at
New Zealand’s Town Hall as the first
Indian flautist to play there. I want my
humble instrument to mesmerise
listeners across all barriers of age
and communication.
Have you succeeded in your
music is utsaah (happiness, effort?
inspiration). I should think so. Judging by the
growing number of young learners
How would you describe your studying under me, and the opening
style of playing? up of opportunities to perform
As I am a musician of the Maihar worldwide, the flute, originally a
gharana of the late Baba Allaudin pastoral instrument, is becoming the
Khan, I follow the system closely. I instrument of choice among the
have an interesting introductory youth. We
 hey say that India is a free
T
country – one in which basic
human rights as citizens are
given equality to all.
However, it is also common
knowledge that attaining the
stamp of a citizen – that of a
passport – can often be a
tiresome and impossible
task.
Recently, the 10-year period of my
passport expired and I needed to get
it renewed before an important trip to
Switzerland and the United States.
Since my passport had first been
made in Delhi, and since I was
working there for the last year and a
half, I thought it might be pretty
obvious for one to apply for a renewal
in Delhi itself. My parents, however,
had been living in Jaipur for the last
seven years.
The time for the normal procedure
was given as a minimum of 45 days
for which we had to shell out a sum
of Rs 1,500. Around the time for the
police verification procedure, a
number of people advised us that the
surest bet was to simply slip a note of
Rs 100 into the hands of the authority
Why is it such a
hassle to simply get PASSPORT TO
our identity certified?
By Neha Kirpal
NOWHERE
that comes home. This, they said,
would ensure that 'work gets done'.
We, however, felt it was a clear case
and hence decided not to
unnecessarily resort to any corrupt
means. When the officer came home,
we calmly explained the details of the
case to him. The officer, too, seemed
rather unfazed and asked us to write
an application stating the same.
As the days went by, we realised
that the stipulated period of 45 days
had finally come to an end but there
was still no sign of the passport reach
home. This began to worry us as our
travel dates were slowly getting
closer. On speaking to the police
officer about it, we learnt that all he
was waiting for was a bribe from us
all along! Imagine our plight when we
heard him saying on the other end of
the phone, “Hum to aapke phone ka
hi wait kar rahe the taki aap hume
kuch offer kar de." (I had been
waiting for you to call up all along so
that you may offer me some money
in order to get the work done.)
After sending several e-mails to
the office as well as endless phone
calls, we realised that there was still
no response. Disgusted, we decided
to go ourselves to the passport office
and ask them what the further
procedure was. They told us that,
since our application had been
rejected, we had to follow the next
obvious procedure – reapply, this
time from Jaipur.
Without wasting any more time,
we decided to immediately reapply
from Jaipur all over again. This time,
however, we applied through the
*Tatkaal *(quick) scheme that is
meant to take a period of three days
and is resorted to in cases of
emergency. The scheme cost us an
additional Rs 2,500. However, this
was still not a solution to our
problem.
The period of three days was
over, but the passport still did not
reach home. By now, we were almost
livid since our travel dates were now
just a fortnight away. The travel
tickets had already been bought and
we wanted to spare about a week's
time to get the Swiss visa. The
hilarious part of it all was that my
previous passport already had a 10-
year tourist visa for the USA. So I
could enter the United States without
any problem, but I could not exit India
without a legal travel document!
In a state of nervousness, we
went personally to the passport office
once again to check the problem out
for ourselves. Once at the office, we
saw endless queues of helpless
people like ourselves pleading before
the authorities. The officials looked
completely blasé, feeling extremely
powerful in their positions, often
shooing off people or carelessly
slamming their precious files from
one desk to another.
SHODDY TREATMENT
When we inquired about the
reason for our passport 'not quite
making the mark' we were told that
the file had not yet reached the
particular desk it was meant to go to.
For about three days in a row, we
kept going back and forth to the office
to pressurise the officials into
considering our case. Sometimes, we
were simply told to return later in the
day 'after lunch hours'. After a
considerable amount of frustration
and days of jittery waiting, we were
finally told that the process would
finally be completed by the next day.
This happened when only five more
days were left before our date of
departure.
In the meantime, we were
simultaneously in touch with a travel
agency that was handling our
holiday. The agency informed us that
the passports must be urgently
couriered to Delhi for the Swiss visa
by 5:30 pm the next day. Naturally, to
avoid further confusion and delay, we
decided to come personally and pick wondered. "Anything to get out of
up the passport instead of receiving it here, I guess" instantly fleeing out of
by post at our home address. the office in relief.
On the D-Day, the time for 5:20 pm I almost scrammed all the
'distributing' passports was given to way to the travel agency and handed
be between 4 pm and 5 pm By 5 pm, over the passports that were
however, the passports had not yet scheduled to leave for Delhi by
arrived. Scores of tense people stood courier within a span of 10 minutes.
crowding around us, some talking on The travel agent looked up calmly
their mobile phones looking hassled, from his desk and I pretended that
others pacing about restlessly. The nothing had happened. "Here you
waiting period also allowed a number
of 'fellow sufferers' to share each
other’s 'passport woes' with each THE AGENCY
other in a display of passionate INFORMED US
sympathy. Buzzes of "They told me I
have to reapply because the birth THAT THE
certificate is missing" or "They said I
have to re-apply because in the
PASSPORTS MUST
photograph I had a religious cap on" BE URGENTLY
or "These people feel they are gods"
seemed to resound all around me
COURIERED TO
and I began to feel like an DELHI FOR THE
insignificant hapless part of the
mundane mess that is India. SWISS VISA BY
5:10 pm Finally, after almost 5:30 PM THE
giving up and falling half to sleep, we
heard some noise in the distance and NEXT DAY.
a kind of inexplicable hush filled the
air as a group of people figured out
that the 'coveted possessions' were
actually making their way down the
stairs to be brought for the final
task of distribution. It was like
a miracle – an
inexpressible moment of
triumph filled with fatigue.
Finally, my turn came to
collect the passport. I looked
down at it, expecting to find a
shiny, beautiful little book
almost studded with gold and
diamonds! What I found instead
was a drab, ordinary and almost
faded-looking booklet staring back at
me. ‘All that trouble…for this?’ I
are,” I said coolly and as I handed
the passports over to him, my heart
skipped a beat. "Be careful with that,"
I cautioned him.
"Of course I will,” he replied
flashing an amused smile. ‘You don't
know the value of what you hold in
your hand, young man,’ I wanted to
say. ‘The kind of things I have been
through just to get this!’ I wondered.
And it was only after I stepped out of
the travel agent's office at 5:35 pm
that I realised I was actually going to
make it to the flight for my holiday
scheduled only four days later!
I came out and felt like crying –
because of an overwhelmingly weird
bunch of happy, tired and rather
cheated mix of emotions running
through my head. Am I not a citizen?
Is this the way the country where I
was born and brought up in a
straightforward manner for all my life
decides to treat me after 23 years of
never doing a single wrong thing? Is
this the price that I must pay for what
I deserve in any case as a birthright?
I have to say, through my ordeal
Break the Ice — Gain a Friend
Every morning I go for a walk.
It’s a part of my exercise routine and
I have been doing it for many years.
Four years ago after retiring from
my regular job, my husband and I
decided to move to India and to make
a retirement home in Pune.
Originally we are from India, but we
had been living in the USA for the
last 37 years and I was really excited
to come back. We purchased a house
in a very nice area of the town.
I started my walking routine as
soon as we settled down. Every
morning I would take the same route
in my neighbourhood and I would
notice the same people who would
also go for a walk just as I did. I
would try to look at them to say, “Hi”
but I had a very strange experience.
People either looked away or tried to
130
that lasted for almost three painful
months, I have met a number of
Indians like myself who have had to
undergo the same tribulation. A
cousin of mine explained the trauma
she underwent while getting her
passport. Coming from a small Indian
town like Hissar, Mukta remembers
avoid looking at me or just stared at
me with an expressionless face. This
was all new to me. In the USA, when
you see somebody on the street (and if
you make an eye contact), especially
in your neighbourhood, you say, “Hi”
or wave at them. It is just a friendly
gesture and not doing so is considered
rude. But here, even when I see the
same people every day, nobody was
willing to acknowledge my presence.
So, just for fun, I decided to do an
experiment. There was this particular
couple whom I saw every morning.
They seemed to be nice people. Both
husband and wife were about the same
age as I was.
Next day when I saw them, I looked
at the wife and smiled a little; both of
them looked at me but did not change
the expression on their faces. I said to
myself, “It’s okay, this is just an
experiment, let’s wait and see what
happens.” So every morning after that
day, whenever I saw them, I would
give a little smile.
Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009
that when her police verification was
to take place, the officer plainly asked
her parents for a sum of Rs 2,000
without even batting an eyelid. It was
almost as if it was an obvious 'done
thing' in order to ensure that the job
gets done! She adds, "We didn’t
even question the inspector, simply
gave him the money and sure
enough the passport was made.”
Contrast this with my sister who
lives in Seattle and needed to get her
Indian passport renewed in the USA.
Nidhi went to study in the United
States and has been living there for
the last three years.
When she had to get her Indian
passport renewed there, all she had
to do was to post the relevant
documents to the Indian embassy
office in San Francisco and within a
hassle-free span of 15 days, her
fresh passport was promptly mailed
back to her. No police verification.
Just because there is probably much
more trust. Because no one is so
corrupt. Because things get done
within the period. We
After about a week, the wife also
responded with a little smile. I felt
great. Then gradually with the smile
was started exchanging “hi” or
“namaste” or “good morning”.
It went on for a few weeks. Then
one day they seemed keen on talking
to me, so I stopped and asked them
where they lived. And it turned out
that they lived in the same
neighbourhood. So we started talking
every morning when we met and
found out that there were many things
of common interest between us.
We invited them to our house and
they reciprocated with the same
enthusiasm. Before we knew it, we
became very good friends. Now, we
help each other and we enjoy each
other’s company.
I have kept the secret of my little
experiment to myself and they don’t
seem to be keen on finding out why I
targeted them with a smile on that
day. We just enjoy our friendship.
– Kunda Apte, Pune.
160 Crossword
F A M I L Y P H O T O
✂

CONTEST
1 2 3 4 5
L D
6
Tear along the dotted line and mail to Crossword No. 160 Woman’s Era, Delhi Press, New Delhi-110 055.

I
7 8 9 10
O A
11
K T A
12 13
O A
14

15 16 17 18 19
N O

O I
20 21
D
22
B E

23 24
T B

Across
1. A person, company, or thing that
competes with another in sport,
business, etc. (5)
3. A structure that is built over a road,
railway/railroad, river, etc. so that
people or vehicles can cross from one
side to the other (6)
7. A room in a public building where people
can leave coats, bags, etc. for a time (9)
10. Chemical symbol for the element silver (2)
11. Used after a list to show that there are
other things that you could have
mentioned (3)
12. To gradually destroy the surface of
something through the action of wind,
rain, etc.; to be gradually destroyed
in this way (5)
13. A very large family, or a group of people
who are connected because of a
particular thing (4)
14. Arithmetic and Logical Unit in a computer
1. A disease of children caused by a lack of
good food that makes the bones become
soft and badly formed, especially in the
legs (7)
2. A religion that is practised especially in
Haiti and involves magic and
witchcraft (6)
4. Extremely clean and tidy (10)
5. Designed to improve people’s working
conditions and to help them work more
efficiently (9)
Please accept my entry for the
6. Cathode Ray Tube (3) crossword competition. I
8. Wanting to do something or
wanting something to happen very subscribe to all the rules and
much (4)
9. The mass of salt water that covers regulations of the competition.
most of the earth’s surface (5)
16. To prevent a horse from winning
a race, for example by giving it
Name
drugs (6)
17. A member of an armed group of
Down

system (3) thieves who attack travelers (6)

15. Chemical symbol for the element Tin (2) 18. To walk slowly with no particular Address
18. Chemical symbol for the element purpose; to be somewhere not doing
Manganese (2) very much (5)
19. To appear important or threatening and 21. To tell somebody information that
likely to happen soon (4) should be kept secret (4) City Pin
20. To leave somebody, especially somebody 22. To touch something lightly, usually
you are responsible for, with no intention several times (3)
of returning (7)
21. Before Christ (2)
22. To give cards to each player in a
game of cards (4)
23. Tidy and in order; carefully done or
arranged (4)
✂

24. To cry (4)

132 Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009

 WIN UP TO
Winners of Crossword - 157
Rs15,000IN CASH PRIZES

Seema Mahajan, Agra. Rahul Mittal, Jagadhri. Mansi Gupta, Delhi.

Suresh Rohid S. Renchano

as, Belgaum. M. Brunda Nageswar Rao, Tamilnadu. Elung, Mon, N
agaland.

Meera Vishw Georgina Peres, Hyderabad. Ruchi Sharm

anath, Bangal a, Delhi.
ore.

Manjiri Srikan Nisha Bhujan

th Karni, Sang Mala Nayak, Mumbai. g, Bangalore.
li.

Woman’s Era ● August (Second) 2009 133