Absence of Overwhelm TeleDiscussion.

Copyright 2001 by Thomas J. Leonard. No duplication. All rights reserved.

Absence Of Program December 7, 2001 - 12:00 p.m. EST Thomas Leonard, Session Lea er T!L: "e#come$ %ho&s on 'he ca##( )par'icipan's chec* in+. "e&re g#a ,o-&re here. .f 'his is ,o-r firs' ca##, . ramb#e for a co-p#e of min-'es ' ge' 'he ba## ro##ing, 'hen %e go a bi' eeper, %e share opinions, come -p %i'h ne% i eas, an so on. These aren&' so m-ch a prac'ica# &ho% 'o& as 'he, are an engaging con/ersa'ion on 'he 'opic. This is a specia# session of 'he absence of - o-r 'opic 'o a, is 'he absence of o/er%he#m. "e&re going 'o be spen ing 'he ne0' 12 min-'es on 'he 'opic$ .&m g#a ,o-&re here. There are abo-' 3 of -s from 'he co-rse on 'he ca## 'o a,. The connec'ion be'%een o/er%he#m an absence of - peop#e o fee# s'resse o-' an o/er%he#me %hen peop#e ha/e 'a*en n 'his program. .'&s a pre'', broa ca'egor,, b-' . 'hin* i'&s some'hing %e&re going 'o be face %i'h more an more. The cha##enge no% is 'ha' %e&re of'en o/er%he#me b, o-r choosing - %e ha/en&' rea##, gone eep eno-gh 'o fig-re o-' ho% 'o ea# %i'h i'. .'&s na'-ra# 'o fee# s'resse , an 'he reason .&m p-''ing 'his 'opic o-' for 'o a, is 'ha' . see i' becoming more an more of an iss-e an 'he nee for e/e#oping s*i##s 'o o/ercome i'. . #oo* a' m, #ife %or* an rea#i4e . nee 5 or 1 more #i/es. . 6-s' can&' see ho% 'ha' can ge' one - . ei'her ha/e 'o ',pe a #o' fas'er, or be more co##abora'i/e. An,one %ho&s crea'i/e is e0periencing o/er%he#m 'oo, an 'here&s no %a, 'o proper#, ge' one a## ,o- %an' 'o o in 'his #ife'ime. "e&re going 'o #oo* a' 'his prob#em from ifferen' ang#es 'o a,, an %i## be as*ing ,o- 'o share some of 'he 'hings ,o- o 'o he#p o/ercome i'. . -s-a##, -se m, o%n e0amp#es 'o ge' s'ar'e . One of 'he 'hings 'ha' has re -ce 'he s'ress for me are 'ha' . rea#i4e 'ha' .&m on a bon-s #ife. . mean 'ha' .&/e ha a rich #ife an .&m #i/ing a /er, non-'ra i'iona# #ife no% - 'here&s no'hing 'ha' 7AS 'o ge' one. .' occ-rre 'o me 'ha' in a bon-s #ife, 'here %asn&' an,'hing . ha 'o ge' one. There&s no ob#iga'ion, no performance 'ha' . *no% of. The o'her 'hing . o is &p-' e/er,'hing in'o e0is'ence& - if ,o- #oo* a' m, pro6ec's %a##, .&/e go' a por'fo#io of 'hings .&m oing. .' ma, be in m, hea , b-' . a#so p-' i' on paper 'o he#p #imi' 'he n-mber of 'hings s%ir#ing aro-n in m, hea . . *no% a #o' of c#ien's ha/e 'hings r-nning aro-n in 'heir min for a #ong 'ime, an some on&' fee# 'he nee 'o %ri'e i' o%n, b-' i' %or*s for me. This prob#em is on#, going 'o ge' %orse, especia##, as %e s'ar' %earing o-' comp-'ers, ra'her 'han si''ing o%n a' a es* 'o -se one. Peop#e are -sing %ire#ess 'echno#og, 'o s'im-#a'e o-rse#/es, so 'ha'&s 'he f-'-re, an i'&s going 'o happen more an more of'en. .&m no' 'r,ing 'o sa, ,o-&re going 'o be #i/ing 'ha' %a,, b-' 'he s*i##s %e nee 'o han #e 'ha' si'-a'ion are s*i##s 'ha' ha/e ,e' 'o be perfec'e in o-r c-#'-re. . 'hin* %e can 'a#* abo-' 'ha' 'o a,. Tha'&s 'he en of m, speech. .& #i*e 'o open i' -p for commen's. Donna: . 6-s' %an'e 'o sa, 'ha' 'he #is' ,o- share recen'#, ma e me rea#i4e 'ha' ,o- o s'op crea'i/i', b, no' %ri'ing i' o%n. T!L: 8es, b, ha/ing a #is' i' frees -p ,o-r brain 'o o %ha' i'&s mean' 'o o. as %e #earn ne% %a,s 'o be high#, crea'i/i', in %ha'e/er me i-m, %e nee 'ha' 9A:, 'ha' space in o-r brain. "ho&s ne0'( Donna: To me, i'&s s'range#, comfor'ing 'o -n ers'an 'ha' i'&s on#, going 'o ge' more impor'an'. . on&' fee# so press-re %i'h o/er%he#m if . *no% 'ha' i'&s a 'ren .

T!L: 8es, i'&s no' some'hing of o-r o%n oing, i'&s 'he c-#'-re. Perhaps 'ha'&s %h, spiri'-a#i', is becoming more impor'an' - i'&s no' 'he an'i o'e of s'ress, b-' i' rea##, is a s'ra'eg, 'o be''er ea# %i'h mo ern #ife. !an: .&m no' s-re 'ha' . ha/e a goo %a, of han #ing o/er%he#m, b-' %o-# #i*e 'o *no% ho% ,o- fi#'er 'ha' #is'( T!L: 7o% o . e'ermine %ha' ge's on 'ha' #is'( !an: Or ho% o ,o- e'ermine %ha' ge's one on 'ha' #is'( T!L: "him, an . 'e## ,o- %him ge's one fas'er 'han ea #ine; )#a-gh+ .&/e been high#, pro -c'i/e 'he #as' fe% ,ears, par'ia##, 'hro-gh 'hings #ie persona# e/o#-'ion, perfec' #ife, e'c. - 'hings .&/e #earne an 'a-gh' a#ong 'he %a,. . #oo* a' e/er, i ea, e/en if i' fai#s, as %or'h oing beca-se . #earn some'hing. There are 'hings 'ha' nee se/era# passes 'o ge' going. . 'hin* %e ha/e a grea'er capaci', or can b-i# 'ha' capaci', b, ha/ing 'hose %e can ge' more 'hings one. As h-mans, . 'hin* %e can fin o-rse#/es capab#e of han #ing so m-ch more. Loo* a' <i## =a'es. There&s so m-ch more capaci', %e a## ha/e, an as %e crea'e more en/ironmen's 'ha' bring o-' 'he bes' in -s, %e&## gain e/en more. .f . %an' 'o o i', . p-' i' on 'he #is'. . ne/er -se 'he %or &priori',&$ 'ha'&s no' ho% . %or* or 'hin*. "as 'ha' ,o-r >-es'ion( !an: 8es. ?her,#: . fin 'ha' . ea# %i'h a #o' of o/er%he#m 'ha' comes from peop#e. .&/e %or*e %i'h o/er 2000 peop#e aro-n 'he %or# . .&/e fo-n 'ha' in ea#ing %i'h i', ,o- ha/e 'o be a coach, ,o- ha/e 'o ma*e s-re ,o-&re no' 6-s' ans%ering >-es'ions b-' ge''ing peop#e 'o come -p %i'h 'heir o%n ans%er. T!L: 7o% 'o se' 'hemse#/es -p 'o be se#f-po%ering( ?her,#: 8es, . ge' 'ons of emai#. .&/e a#rea , e#e'e more 'han 210 messages 'his morning, an ha/e man, #ef' 'o ans%er. T!L: =oo for ,o-$ %e&re a#rea , on 'he same page. . -se 'he 'erm e/er,one&s a coach, an . 'hin* in or er 'o f#o-rish in a c-rren' socie',, ma,be 'hese coaching s*i##s are impor'an' simp#, no' 'o be cons-me b, 'he informa'ion an re>-es's 'ha' come o-r %a,. ?her,#: .' can be o/er%he#ming, an . %an' 'o crea'e pro6ec's, b-' %hen ,o- ge' a## 'hose emai#s, %here&s 'he 'ime( T!L: 8es, ,o- bring -p a goo poin'. . can&' manage 7000 members of ?oach@i##e %i'ho-' emai#. . co-# n&' o ?oach@i##e %i'ho-' 'he %eb, e#ec'ronic o%n#oa s, e-commerce an cre i' car processing. ?her,#: Di ,o- e/e#op ?oach@i##e in 'he bac*gro-n before ,o- re#ease ( T!L: Airs', i' %as esigne as a por'a# for 'he coaching in -s'r,, b-' %e go' #i''#e response from 'he coaching schoo#s. Then %e ha some s-ccess %i'h 'e#ec#asses an rea#i4e %e nee e 'o b,pass 'he schoo#s an go irec'#, 'o 'he coaches. Tha'&s ano'her e0amp#e. Peop#e ge' o/er%he#me b, financia# s'ress, an . %en' in'o 'his /er, #ean. .f ,o- on&' ha/e 'he #-0-r, 'ime or mone, 'o e0perimen', some 'hings ge' #os'. Par' of 'he absence of o/er%he#m is 'o ma*e s-re 'here aren&' 'hings is'rac'ing ,o- so ,o- ha/e 'ime 'o #earn 'he s*i##s ,o- nee an se' -p some of 'he s'r-c'-res ,o- nee . .f ,o- %an' 'o be ab#e 'o han #e 220500 emai#s a a,, ,o- nee 'o #earn a cer'ain se' of s*i##s or ,o-&## be frie . ?her,#: Bnfor'-na'e#, 'he members came before 'he s'r-c'-re, b-' .&m %or*ing on 'he s'r-c'-re.

T!L: =oo for ,o-; . 'hin* a' a cer'ain poin' in ,o-r #ife ,o- becoming -n%i##ing 'o fee# o/er%he#m, an p-' 'ha' ahea of ob#iga'ions 'o peop#e. Ob/io-s#, ,o- sho-# respon 'o ,o-r emai#s in a 'ime#, fashion, b-' 'here&s some poin' %here 'ha' fee#ing becomes bigger on 'he insi e. Some peop#e %ere born %i'h 'ha', b-' .&m s'i## %or*ing on i' - . sho-# &/e ha i' some ,ears ago; Again, par' of 'he absence of co-rse is 'o bring -p 'hings 'ha' ha/e been in 'he bac*gro-n for a %hi#e an ge' 'hem 'o 'he forefron'. . 'hin* o/er%he#m is some'hing 'ha' peop#e ha/e been b-r ene b,, b-' ha/e 6-s' 'rie 'o ea# %i'h, b-' i'&s on#, going 'o ge' %orse. Debbie: 8o-&/e 6-s' #e in'o %ha' . %an'e 'o share. Aor me, . recogni4e 'ha' i'&s a percep'ion an no' necessari#, rea#i',. There&s no s'ress in 'he momen' - i'&s a## coming from %ha' %e percei/e. T!L: ?an ,o- sen me 'ha' r-g( .& #i*e some of 'ha'. 7o% i ,o- ge' 'o 'ha' p#ace( Debbie: . g-ess i'&s a s'a'e of min 'ha' . 'e## m,se#f %hen . ge' 'o 'ha' poin'. "e each ha/e o-r %ea* areas, an 'ha'&s mine. . fina##, rea#i4e 'ha' i' 'a*es a%a, from m, >-a#i', of #ife, an .&/e eci e .&m no' %i##ing 'o gi/e 'ha' -p an,more. T!L: 7o% i ,o- a op' 'ha' %a, of 'hin*ing in 'he momen'( Debbie: . #i/e a 6o,f-# #ife %i'h a sense of free om an crea'i/i',, an i'&s more /a#-ab#e 'o me. T!L: 7o% soon o ,o- ca'ch ,o-rse#f( Debbie: Co' soon eno-gh, some'imes. . recen'#, re//e -p m, o-'p-' so . can finish m, o'her career so . can more f-##, s'ar' m, coaching career - i'&s -s-a##, af'er .&/e reache o/er%he#m 'ha' . recogni4e i'. T!L: . 'hin* some peop#e #o/e 'o comp#ain, or fee# nee e , or be in 'he mi #e of a s'orm. There are ifferen' so-rces of energ, %e a## -se, an ma,be for some i'&s a so-rce of energ,, a#bei' a high#, po##-'ing one. :a,be 'he s'im-#a'ion 'ha' pro/i es is e0ci'ing. Debbie: "hen .&/e #os' m, 6o, an peace, . ha/e 'o #oo* eeper an see %here i'&s coming from T!L: Then %ha' o ,o- o( Debbie: :a*e some changes 'o m, en/ironmen's or s'r-c'-re. T!L: =oo , 'han* ,o-. Donna: .& #i*e 'o a on %ha' Debbie is 'a#*ing. .'&s 'r-e 'ha' 'here is no s'ress in 'he momen', b-' i'&s %ha' %e bring in'o i'. .n 'he momen', .&m s'i## 6-s' me, an .&m no' in a ro#e -n#ess . bring 'ha' 'o 'he momen'. As . %as pon ering 'his ear#ier, . %as so ca-gh' -p in 'hings . %an'e 'o change, bo'h 'hings from 'he pas' an 'he f-'-re, an rea#i4e . %as #osing 'he >-a#i'ies of peace of min an free om in 'he momen'. . #oo*e aro-n m, office an sa% a## 'he p#an's . sa% in m, office 'ha' %ere ,ing beca-se 'he, %ere so neg#ec'e beca-se . ha n&' no'ice 'hem. . 'hen rea#i4e 'ha' 'his %as %ha' %as happening 'o me 'oo. . 'hin* 'he e#imina'ion of ro#es for me is 'he *e,. . rea##, %an' 'o #i/e m, a,s o-' in >-a#i', an a-'hen'ici',. T!L: Than* ,o-$ %ho e#se( Donna: This is 'he o'her Donna. . can be /er, re#a0e an ha/e a goo >-a#i', of #ife, b-' i' b-gs me 'ha' .&m no' crea'ing. T!L: So ,o-&re in 'he mi s' of 'ha' no%(

Donna: 8es, . en6o, a nice >-a#i', of #ife, b-' . co-# -se more efficienc,. The more ,o- f-#fi## ,o-r po'en'ia#, 'ho-gh, 'he more ,o- 'a*e a%a, from 'he peacef-# >-a#i', of #ife. T!L: Tha'&s 'he cha##enge - 'he more ,o- bring o-' ,o-r bes', 'he more ,o- 'a*e a%a, ,o-r peace( . 'hin* %e&re going 'o ge' be''er an be''er a' han #ing 'his. . 'hin* bo'h are possib#e, b-' . on&' ha/e 'ha' ba#ance ,e'. . 'h*n %ha' ,o-&re escribing is %ha' %e&re af'er. .f ,o- #oo* a' some b-siness o%ners, 'he,&re cons-me b, 'heir b-siness, %here o'hers ha/e a rich fami#, #ife an goo b-siness %i'ho-' being frie 'o a crisp. Donna: "e o ha/e a h-ge capaci', 'o han #e 'hings. T!L: . 'hin* so$ . 'hin* %e 6-s' ha/en&' #earne i' ,e'. :a,be 'here&s an inna'e abi#i', for some 'o han #e i' 'ha' o'hers on&' ha/e. . 'hin* i'&s possib#e 'o #earn, 'ho-gh. DDD: Do ,o- e0ercise increasing ,o-r capaci', b, sacrificing increasing ,o-r >-a#i', of #ife #i*e e0ercising an ge''ing aching m-sc#es( T!L: There are 'hings 'o re -ce 'he ache 'ha' comes %i'h %or*ing o-' an . 'hin* peop#e - . choose 'o p-' m,se#f in impossib#e si'-a'ions beca-se . #o/e 'he 'hri## of ge''ing 'hro-gh 'hem, 'ha'&s %h, . i 'he mi##enni-m 'o-r. . 6-s' fe#' ca##e 'o o i'; some peop#e migh' efine a high >-a#i', of #ife as >-ie' an 6o,o-s %here o'hers efine i' as high ac'ion an ris*. S'ress, e0ci'emen' an e/en cons-mp'ion can be a /a#i choice. S-san: As .&m #is'ening 'o 'he %ho#e 'hing, .&m 'hin*ing i'&s a## base on a #earning c-r/e. .'&s #i*e #earning 'o -se a ne% comp-'er. . 6-s' bo-gh' one an i'&s s'ressf-# 'o #earn ho% 'o -se i', b-' as . #earn i' becomes easier an easier. .'&s #i*e ,o- 'a#*ing abo-' ge''ing ?oach@i##e 'o r-n %i'h ,o- ha/ing 'his ca#m peacef-# #ife - i'&s es'ab#ishing s,s'ems 'o o 'he %or* for ,o-. T!L: . agree %i'h ,o-. :a,be 'here&s a 'emporar, perio of isr-p'ion E a#mos' #i*e a pea* eman on an e#ec'rica# gri ( S-san: . fee# #i*e 'ha'&s %ha' i' is - a 'emporar, s'a'e. T!L: :a,be peop#e sho-# as* 'hemse#/es 'ha' >-es'ion - is 'his 6-s' a 'emporar, 'hing, a #earning c-r/e, or are 'he, in a si'-a'ion 'ha' has no #earning c-r/e( S-san: . 'hin* 'here are cer'ain peop#e %ho on&' es'ab#ish s,s'ems. T!L: Agree , an 'he,&re going 'o e0perience o/er%he#m fore/er. S-san: <-' if ,o-&re 'he *in of person 'ha' %an's 'o 'ac*#e 22 'hings a' 'he same 'ime, if %e on&' #earn, %e&re a#%a,s going 'o be in a s'a'e of o/er%he#m. T!L: So, if ,o- #oo* ahea a ,ear from no%, %o-# ,o- 6-s' b- ge' in a s'ressf-# 5 mon'h perio %hi#e ,o#earn( S-san: . 'hin* 'ha'&s 'he %a, i' has 'o be. . s'ar'e m, bi4 'his ,ear an a ne%s#e''er, an 'he s'ress of #earning ho% 'o p-b#ish a ne%s#e''er, p-' i' on 'he in'erne' an p-' i' on a mai#ing #is' an ge' i' sen' o-' %as s'ressf-#, b-' no% . 6-s' ha/e 'o p-sh a b-''on. T!L: ?o-# ,o- ha/e one i' some o'her %a,(

S-san: 8es, . co-# &/e o-'so-rce i', b-' 'hen . %o-# n&' ha/e #earne . T!L: . agree %i'h ,o-. There&s a p#ace for o-'so-rcing, b-' 'hen ,o- %o-# n&' #earn 'hose ne% s,s'ems. S-san: 8es, 'here are cer'ain 'hings . %an' 'o #earn. . on&' rea##, %an' 'o #earn ho% 'o b-i# a %eb page, so .&## o-'so-rce 'ha' - ha/e 'hem se' i' -p for me in a %a, 'ha'&s eas, 'o -p a'e. T!L: So ,o-&## ha/e peop#e se' i' -p b-' ,o- manage i' #a'er( S-san: 8es. T!L: =rea'$ %ho e#se( Donna: .&m s'i## 'ossing aro-n 'ha' %e&re 'a#*ing abo-' 2 ifferen' 'hings. T!L: The p-rpose of 'his ca## is 'o o/er%he#m ,o-; )#a-gh+ Donna: .s 'here a poin' ,o- can go 21 ho-rs a a, b-' ,o- ne/er fee# o/er%he#me beca-se i'&s 6-s' a percep'ion( T!L: There are m-#'ip#e s*i## se's 'here, b-' 'ha'&s m, ream. .&m 'here, an am 6-s' 'r,ing no% 'o re -ce 'ha' s'ress. .&m 'r,ing 'o fig-re o-' ho% 'o crea'e %i'ho-' a so-rce of s'im-#a'ion 'ha' isn&' cons-mp'i/e( DDD: "hen ,o- fig-re i' o-', %i## ,o- #e' -s *no%( T!L: . 'hin* i'&s ca##e gene 'herap,; )#a-gh+ Le'&s 'a*e a co-p#e min-'es an DDD: Are ,o- 'hen -sing ,o-r ea #ines as a nega'i/e so-rce of energ,( T!L: . on&' *no% if i'&s nega'i/e, b-' i'&s cer'ain#, e0pensi/e. . ha/en&' fo-n an, o'her %a, 'o be 'his pro -c'i/e. . 'hin* in a %a, %e&re a## e/o#/ing o-rse#/es a#ong 'his pa'h - ho% %e manage o-r Fo/er%he#mF an ge' 'hings one. DDD: So . nee 'o ge' ri of o/er%he#m off m, 'o- o #is'( T!L: "i'h a ea #ine, ,o- migh' ge' mo'i/a'e ; An,one e#se( Pa-#: . on&' see o/er%he#m as a nega'i/e 'hing. 8o-&re p-shing ,o-rse#f 'o 'he brin*, b-' ma,be 'ha'&s ho% ,o- gro% as a person. T!L: So i'&s an in ica'or of some *in ( Pa-#: 8es, ma,be i'&s no' some'hing ,o- nee 'o e#imina'e from ,o-r #ife. DDD: "ha' if ,o- consi er i' #i*e an a#arm c#oc* - a %arning 'ha' ,o- nee 'o s#o% o%n or 'a*e a brea* or %ha'e/er( T!L: 8eah, ma,be a remin er more 'han a %arning. DDD: Li*e a %a*e--p. ebrief. .'&s s-ch a big 'opic.

!an: . #i*en i' 'o sore m-sc#es$ if ,o- on&' e0ercise fre>-en'#,, ,o-r m-sc#es %i## ge' sore, so ma,be . ha/e 'o e0ercise m, o/er%he#m m-sc#e( T!L: =oo $ an ,o-&## fin m-sc#es ,o- i n&' *no% ,o- ha , !an. DDD: . #i*e %ha' !an 6-s' sai . Tha' ma, be par' of 'he *e,. "ha' . rea##, go' from i' is 'ha' . nee a #o' more s'r-c'-re. T!L: .'&s par'ic-#ar#, 'r-e %i'h 'echno#og,. 8o- ge' o/er%he#me a' firs', b-' ,o- ge' o/er i'. An,bo , e#se( O*a,, %e## 'han*s for engaging in 'he con/ersa'ion. "e&## ge' 'he no'es o-' in 'he ne0' co-p#e of a,s - 'han*s for p#a,ing;