Heart 5 Versions Original Poem: What a fascinating organ Carefully seated deep in our core Keeps on beating again

and again Today and tomorrow just as it has before or the leader does not ta!e time to rest "uiding the body how it !nows best To be followed by the mind #ts wisdom being one of a !ind $t first glance appears so simple %ore than the physical parts is a symbol &ach one so similar to the na!ed eye 'et so different from one to the ne(t guy )eeper than the dimensions #nfiltrates the room with our most true intentions To become filled up with passion %agneti*ed with the most powerful attraction Chambers beating many times each minute +adiating all the electricity stored in it ,o perfect at this one tas! -ut just one more thing may # as! )o not become bro!en or crushed )eflated li!e all the blood has been flushed $lthough surely it still tic!s Whether or not you find a fi( Painful li!e injury to an arm or !nee .ust momentarily until bac! in harmony +e/ision: What an organ ,eated in our core Keeps on beating o/er and o/er or the leader does not ta!e time to rest #ts wisdom being one of a !ind &ach one similar to the eye %ore than the physical parts is a symbol )eeper than the dimensions #nfiltrates the room with our intentions To become filled up with passion +adiating all the electricity stored in it -ut just one more thing may # as! )o not become bro!en or crushed Painful li!e injury to an arm or !nee

.ust momentarily until bac! in harmony 0nd re/ision: What a fascinating organ1 carefully seated deep in our core1 Keeps on beating again and again1 Today and tomorrow just as it has before1 or the leader does not ta!e time to rest1 "uiding the body how it !nows best1 To be followed by the mind1 #ts wisdom being one of a !ind1 $t first glance appears so simple1 %ore than the physical parts is a symbol1 &ach one so similar to the na!ed eye1 'et so different from one to the ne(t guy1 )eeper than the dimensions1 #nfiltrates the room with our most true intentions1 To become filled up with passion1 %agneti*ed with the most powerful attraction1 Chambers beating many times each minute1 +adiating all the electricity stored in it1 ,o perfect at this one tas!1 but just one more thing may # as!2 )o not become bro!en or crushed3 )eflated li!e all the blood has been flushed1 $lthough surely it still tic!s1 whether or not you find a fi(1 Painful li!e injury to an arm or !nee1 .ust momentarily until bac! in harmony3 4rd re/ision: What a fascinating Organ carefully seated )eep in our core1 !eeps on beating again and again1 today and tomorrow just as it has before1 for the leader does not ta!e time to rest1 guiding the body how it !nows best to be followed by the mind1 its wisdom being one of a !ind at first glance appears so simple1 more than the physical parts is a symbol1 each one so similar to the na!ed eye1 yet so different from one to the ne(t guy1 deeper than the dimensions1 infiltrates the room with our most true intentions to become filled

up with passion1 magneti*ed with the most powerful attraction1 chambers beating many times each minute1 radiating all the electricity stored in it1 so perfect at this one tas!1 but just one more thing may # as!2 do not become bro!en or crushed1 deflated li!e all the blood has been flushed1 although surely it still tic!s1 whether or not you find a fi(1 painful li!e injury to an arm or !nee .ust momentarily until bac! in harmony

5th re/ision: What a fascinating organ1 carefully seated deep in our core1 Keeps on beating again and again1 Today and tomorrow just as it has before1 or the leader does not ta!e time to rest1 "uiding the body how it !nows best1 To be followed by the mind1 #ts wisdom being one of a !ind1 $t first glance appears so simple1 %ore than the physical parts is a symbol1 &ach one so similar to the na!ed eye1 'et so different from one to the ne(t guy1 )eeper than the dimensions1 #nfiltrates the room with our most true intentions1 To become filled up with passion1 %agneti*ed with the most powerful attraction1 Chambers beating many times each minute1 +adiating all the electricity stored in it1 ,o perfect at this one tas!1 but just one more thing may # as!2 )o not become bro!en or crushed3 )eflated li!e all the blood has been flushed1 $lthough surely it still tic!s1 whether or not you find a fi(1 Painful li!e injury to an arm or !nee1

.ust momentarily until bac! in harmony3 This poem was the first poem # had written for this class3 The first re/ision # did was a homewor! assignment that in/ol/ed ta!ing out all of the adjecti/es and ad/erbs3 #t seemed li!e # was remo/ing important details from the poem3 # felt li!e it was getting worse with each thing # deleted3 $fter # had gone through with all of the deletions1 # read the poem again3 # was pleasantly surprised to find that the poem sounded pretty good and # didn6t feel li!e anything was missing3 7e(t # condensed the poem by remo/ing 88 out of 09 lines3 This part was fairly easy to do3 &/ery few lines # came across a line that didn6t seem to important to the o/erall poem3 Then # read the poem again and # felt this process impro/ed the sound of it also3 ,ome of the rhymes were lost by deleting lines1 but it sounded good with some lines rhyming and others not rhyming3 #t made the rhymes that were there to feel more genuine3 :oo!ing bac!1 rhyming e/ery line gi/es the feeling that content was sacrificed to fit a small group of words that will rhyme with the pre/ious line3 Then # went bac! through and remo/ed a few more lines that were not helping the story3 This lesson taught me that # do not ha/e to try and use e(tra/agant adjecti/es and that saying only the most important parts can be stronger than throwing in wea!er lin!s in between that can mess up the pace3 The second re/ision # added punctuation and # wanted to play with the lines a little bit so # chose to combine some lines and add caesuras3 The three instances that # combined lines seemed to impro/e its reading3 #t was less choppy1 and also sounded good with internal rhymes that were created as opposed to just end rhymes3 # noticed that all my lines were end;stopped1 so for the third re/ision1 # went through and made all the lines enjambed3 This was a fun way to sort of change what the poem said without adding or deleting any words3 #t ga/e the poem a few effects3 #t really emphasi*ed some words1 such as wisdom1 powerful1 and beating which were now at the ends of the /erses3 Those are three !eywords # could summari*e the subject of my poem in so that was cool3 $nother effect it had was adding some suspense from the end of one /erse to the ne(t3 or e(ample1 when it reads <similar to the na!ed1= it6s li!e who6s na!ed2 Then when it leads off with eye1 the reader is li!e oh of course1 and # lift the reader6s mind bac! up out of the gutter3 Then the ne(t line leads off with eye1 so it made a good internal rhyme3 $nother way that these changes made it better was that the form matched the content3 # manipulated the lines to sync with the state of the heart3 When it is tal!ed about being painful1 li!e an injury1 # made it choppy1 similar to an irregular1 unhealthy heartbeat3 Then on the last two lines1 it rhymes again sounds smooth with the flow1 while at the same time the words confirm it by saying he heart is bac! in harmony3 or the fourth re/ision1 # split the poem up into stan*as3 # used >uatrains with a couple tercets at the end3 # li!ed the effect it had on this poem due to the end rhymes it contains3 #t helped these rhymes to stand out more3