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Claire Norris Noah Tysick English 111 18 November 2013 WRC Analysis Essay As it was required in class to send a copy of our AMS Synthesis Essay to the Writing and Reading Center for some extra help, I received feedback from a Dominic. This was a worthwhile experience. There were three things I was looking to get some help with in my paper. These three things were the proper use of source integration throughout the essay, whether paragraph two was relatable to the thesis, and if there were any ideas of a way to connect paragraph four with the thesis. When it came to the proper use of sources and source integration it was realized there was a little work to do. Dominic mentioned that a stronger source introduction would be very helpful for the audience to understand who the source is (WRC comments). He also gave a link to a website for help with citing sources and punctuation. This is an area there was a struggle in the last essay that was due. There was also an issue with the use of source citing or referencing in topic sentences and Dominic advised the use of my own words to create a stronger voice for myself on the issue (WRC comments). As far as the relation between the thesis and paragraph two goes, it was almost there, but needs to be stronger. To start off with the topic sentence was almost confusing and sent the wrong message. Dominic took it as I was saying parents dont take part in the education of their children and that was not at all the direction of the paragraph (WRC comments). He also

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mentioned to clarify the connection to the thesis before even getting into the use of a source, and then focusing the paragraph on that idea alone. There was a slight slip away from the idea in the paragraph, so it just needs to be cleaned up slightly. Dominic noticed that in paragraph three there was some confusion in the relation to the thesis he felt there was a different tone and approach to this paragraph versus the previous paragraphs (WRC comments). From the beginning of the paragraph to end there is a shift in ideas. There didnt seem to be a connection with the start of the paragraph. While in paragraph three there was confusion on what exactly the idea of the paragraph was. He didnt see a concrete idea in the paragraph and suggested finding a focus for the paragraph and working to develop around that specific focus (WRC comments). There are still things that need some work before my AMS Synthesis Essay will be ready to turn in for a final grade, but with the feedback from Dominic there is more confidence and likelihood that will be up to par. The use of the Writing and Reading Center was very helpful and will be used again in the future.

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Works Cited Borowiak, Dominic. WRC 101: Assignments: Submitting Essays for Consultant Feedback. Message to Claire Norris. 14 November 2013. Email.