APRIL (SECOND) 2009 ● Rs 30

WOMAN ’S ERA

TURMOIL
THAT EATS FROM
INSIDE
THE NEW AN EXTREME
APRIL (SECOND) 2009

WOMAN READING
IS MADE FROM A OBSESSION
DIFFERENT STUFF
RAPE: HAVE A
RECESSION HEART FOR THE
IS HERE BUT
VICTIM
WHY PANIC
THE DESERT LAND
WHAT IS WITH THE
TOXIC SHOCK
HIGHEST WATER
SYNDROME? CONSUMPTION
 APRIL (SECOND) 2009
Vol 36, Issue No. 849
CONTENTS
BUILDS HAPPY HOMES
Founder: Vishwa Nath
(1917-2002)
womansera.com

68

10 80
POSSESSIVENESS
A FEAR OF LOSING
SOMEONE SPECIAL
16
THE WAY TO BE
ARE YOU A SLAVE
TO DUST?
Shailja Mehta
BOMBAY
FILMDOM

70
Suman Bajpai Kalpana M Naghnoor

ARTICLES
20 TACKLING RECESSIOIN
Shivendra Kumar

35 THE NEW-AGE WOMAN

Padmaja Menon

36 THE BACKDROP CONFESSIONS OF A

UPFRONT – EPISODE -2
Kasturi Rangachari 28 READOMANIAC
Romola Shanbhag
HARASSMENT OF
44 7TH CAVINKARE ABILITY
AWARD 2009
Vanathi Siva
WORKING WOMEN
I. M. Soni
86
66 RECREATING PAST
Pratima Sharma
72 HOW DID NAXALISM
COME TO AN END IN A
BLOCK OF BIHAR
Dr Satish Kumar and Vivek Raj
NEW GENERATION
76 VERSATILE VIBURNUMS
FOR AESTHETIC BEAUTY 32
NANDINI SARMA,
KISSING
Dr Parveen Prakash
Som Dutt NANDINI SARMA,
WHO WROTE HER NAME
90 CREATING MUSIC ON ON AN ASTEROID
CANVAS
Our Correspondent
G. V. Joshi

126 PEDIGREED DOGS

COOKERY
93 PRITHVI THY NAME IS 46 PALATABLE PREPARATIONS
VERSATILITY! DEMYSTIFIED
Gayatri T. Rao Maneka Gandhi 48 SUMMER DELICACIES
● Malayali Yoghurt
116 STRINGS THAT 128 RAPE THE STIGMA ● Mango Rabri
it cool.
custard
Mix the

To one
pulp and
cream with

part add
heat in
into an ice-cre
a mixer.
am tin and
to set.
the freezer second part also
the
into 3 parts.
and divide the mango
Pour
keep in

in

MESMERISE STILL PREVAILS

Beat the set
over the
and pour

MER
mixer heat in
the part
To the third over the

Marble Strawberry
custard.

●
and pour

SUM
the jelly Arabian
ice cream
second layer. it to set. and serve

delicacies
fruit and sauce
Again keep choco late silver balls.
with cake with the
ry yoghurt Garnis h garnished
Marble strawber
serve.

Rema Prasanna Bhavna Keswani Yoghurt suga r-coated

and lip-smac
king desserts. SATRAN
CREAMS:
GI ICE

INGREDIENT am milk
FROZEN
YOGHURT
ARABIAN
CREAMS:
INGREDIENT am milk
ICE

Try these
ava
Bharg sugar.
Mix in the S:
By Savita continu ously. om and
the 600 ml full-cre powder INGREDIENT am yoghurt 500 ml full-cre d dates

● Satrangi Ice Cream

custard full-cre cup choppe
aluminium Mix in the cardam cool. Serve 51/ 2 tsp 300 gm 1/
bowl with when sugar 4
taste
Cover the about 15-20 mango pulp ds, 12 tsp sugar 15-20 gm sugar to
steam for with almon powdered)
foil and garnis hed 1 cup creamor sarauli mango (castor or hing:
with cold ios and saffron
. For garnis
MALAYALI

FICTION
so sauce
minutes. garnis hed 1 alphan erry jelly chocolate silver balls
pistach 1/ cup strawb silver balls
Cool. Serveand raisins chilled.
YOGHURT
2 pie:
remaining
nuts hing: For date ed)
For garnis dates (chopp

Frozen Yoghurt RBLE

125 gm

●
S: cake fruit
RABRI MA AWBERRY
1/ cup sugar
INGREDIENT sed milk 2

MANGO
conden D mix the 1 cup water
200 gm from full METHO
11/ 2 cup
curd made STR In a cup
of milk,
and the
1/ tsp salt

YOGHURT
2
S: powder 1/ cup oil
cream milk INGREDIENT am milk
custard 4 on powde
r
1/ cup cream S: sugar. 3/ tsp cinnam
2 on powde
r 500 ml full-creor to taste INGREDIENT curd made from remaining 4 powder
Boil the of clone

Arabian Ice Cream

1/ tsp cinnam 1/ cup sugar add the

●
r 1 kg thick a pinch
2 om powde d 2
acid milk and
1/ tsp cardam 1/ tsp cutie full-cream
milk to powde r D ents in a
2 and crushe 4
Mango rabri
sugar or custar d METHO
above ingredi for a few
2 tbsp roastedhazel nuts 4 tbsp castor to it, stirringno Mix the
and mixtur e so that boil-simmer
almonds taste fruit or sauce pan, cool.
continuously
2 tbsp raisins 6 tbsp mixed formed. minutes
and maida and
1
jam r lumps are from fire and let in 1 cup
METHO
D
a muslin strawberry om powde Remove Frozen yoghurt Now mix

Choco Hazel Delight

curd in -1 tsp cardam dish

●
1/
Tie the in a cool 2 es ice cream tsp soda. in an ungreased
and hang it cake sprinkl
Satrangi
hing:
cloth the water. hing: For garnis cream Spread
till done. In a pan boil
drain out For garnis erries
place to milk, 100 ml thick and bake

120
condensed om For the ice
cream:
dates and
Add the fresh strawb D
on and cardam METHO yoghu rt
milk, add the
cinnam well. Also, D a muslin Whip the and fold the
and mix METHO curd in till 1/3rd. remov e
powder Put the in a cool with the
sugar simmer sugar and
of the nuts. Put in the

Gulabo Kulfi
hang it Add the

●
add half cloth and to drain in the cream.set. When
6-8 hours to the fire. tray and
place for freeze r and from in a rice date
Cool, pour

22 THE ULTIMATE EQUATION

and whip again with the
out the water. castor sugar half set again till
it Serve
mango pulp in the freeze .
1/ cup r Mix
powder. then freeze
2 om powde
1/ tsp cardam cardamom put a portion in
small solid.
becomes liberal ly with pie. 49
2 threads
s and Chill and

Nougat Surprise
few saffron Drizzle

●
cut almond
bowls. jam to give ) 2009
1 tsp finely tsp of the

LOG ON TO LIFE
April (Second
Fold in a Woman’s
Era ●
pistachios d effect. les
D keep it a marble with cake sprink
METHO
in a vessel
and Garnis h
Boil milk half.

Nalini Sharma
serve.
r till stir and
on simme citric acid and

Pine Apple Banana

Add the

●
) 2009
Era ● April (Second
Woman’s

Anuradha Bhagi
Yoghurt
Malayali
48

Smoothie
62 THE PAYING GUEST ● English Pineapple ● Khus Ice-Berg Lemonade
Dr Gayathri N. M. Pudding ● Angoori Sharbat
● Orange Delight ● Carrot Pumpkin Sundae
 14
FASHION NEWS IN
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35 MUSINGS, MEMORIES
134 CROSSWORD
139 BABY CLUB
78
146 AS YOU SAY SUSTAIN
84 THAT
BEWARE OF TSS: SPARKLE
IT’S DEADLY SHINE
Vikas Kumar Jain Bhavna Keswani

65 PERSONAL 118 RAY OF HOPE

PROBLEMS (Poem)

67 MY FAMILY, 133 NEW LAUNCHES

MY FRIENDS AND ME... 138 KITCHEN QUERIES
83 YOUR BODY 140 CLASSIFIEDS
145 MONEY MATTERS
54 42 READERS’
EAST MEETS WEST ENTICINGLY CURLY
CONTESTS
74
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CROSSWORD
OF EXPRESSION AND WIN RS 15,000
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134

19 WHERE IS HAPPINESS? (Poem) 41 BEAUTY QUERIES (Toddler Trends) EVERY FORTNIGHT

34 CHILD CHALLENGES
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 EDITORIAL
BETTER HALVES AT G-20 SUMMIT
G T
lobal summit of G-20 nations in London was
the second one after the worldwide recession
raised its ugly head. Earlier, these countries
had met in Washington. During the summit, these
nations unanimously decided to drop their conservative
stance in an attempt to rescue the world economy; to
pour collectively to the tune of $1.1 trillion by the end of
2010 as loans and bank guarantees and embrace
greater transparency in banking transactions in order to
curb black money economy and tax evasion.
Now, there are good chances of the meritorious
people occupying apex positions in the IMF and World
Bank with hope of greater representation from India
and China which are showing growth in spite of
meltdown. India has been rightly placed in Financial
Stability Forum and Banking related Basal Convention.
Certainly, India is having greater say and acceptance in
G-20 summit this time as a part
of solution, than the problem.
At every international
summit, better halves of the
heads of the governments
almost always have a
prominent presence. This time
too, spouses of world leaders
graced the occasion with their
presence although they had little to do with the world
affairs. Gursharan Kaur, wife of our Prime Minister, as
usual maintained her low profile. This stems from her
philosophy of simple living and high thinking. First lady
of France, Carla Bruni was centre of attraction for all
her lustrous modelling past. Thankfully, her presence
did not create any controversy this time. Most
astonishing, however, was the boldness of Michelle
Obama, the spouse of US President Barack Obama.
After assuming president’s office in January this year, it
was the first major international meeting of Obama.
During her courtesy call to the Queen Elizabeth, she
put her arm around the queen. This created furor
among the elite circles of Britain. Some declared it as a
breach of protocol, i.e. never to touch the queen, but
gracefully Queen Elizabeth welcomed, by putting her
arm around Michelle’s waist, a gesture of reciprocity
and solidarity.
Many years ago, an Australian Prime Minister too
had put his hand on the shoulder of the British Queen,
thereby angering the conservative British
parliamentarians, who termed him ‘an idiot’.
Actually most of the people want to see what they
are used to see always. And any deviation looks
awkward to their eyes.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
SUBJUGATING WOMEN
he new law brought by Afghan President Hamid
Karzai and passed hurriedly in country’s
parliament, allowing Shiite men to demand sex
from their wives every four days and keep them indoors
indefinitely, even upholding legitimising rape is shocking
and causing uproar. Muslim women in Afghanistan and
Taliban-dominated areas have already been victims of
Talibanisation, which do not allow women to enjoy any
kind of rights. Time and again Muslim women have
been beaten, tortured and suffered all kinds of
atrocities and humiliations from their male counterparts.
Of late, media also reports that Taliban has burnt down
many schools and tortured women in Afghanistan. In
spite of tackling such inhuman action of terrorists, the
Afghan President has preferred to appease
fundamental forces.
Moreover, the new Shia Family Law negates the
need for sexual consent
between married couples,
tacitly approving child
marriage and restricts a
woman's right to leave the
home. Some call the new law
nothing short of legalised rape
thus subjugating womenfolk.
The law, which has not yet
been published but was leaked by a UN agency, rules
that a Shiite woman must seek her husband's
permission to go outside. "Obedience, readiness for
sexual intercourse and not leaving the house without
the permission of the husband are the duties of the
wife," states the law.
"As long as the husband is not travelling, he has the
right to have sex with his wife every fourth night." In
case of divorce, the father will always get custody of a
child/children, according to the law.
In fact, when the world is making efforts to liberate
women in a big way, the new Shia Family Law negates
the status of Muslim women in Afghanistan.
This is also necessary in view of the fact that women
in Afghanistan have been the worst sufferers during the
long Soviet occupation of the country and under the
regime of primitive-minded Talibans. With Hamid Karzai
taking over the reins of the nation, it was hoped that
they would see new light. But action of Afghan
President has shattered all their dreams. The reason is
obvious.
While looking into the coming general election, he is
unable to take a principled stand, thus forcing his
dictate, towards women empowerment.
write to: letters@womansera.com We
9
 hy do you always

“W
check receiving and
dialling numbers on
my mobile? You
don’t trust me or
don’t understand the
importance of
privacy? Are you
suspicious about me
or what I do? I am
Here’s how to your wife; you should have faith in
me,” Vibha asked, very upset with the
save yourself from an inner behaviour of her husband Aakash, as
he has always been on a scrutiny
turmoil that might be eating drive and wants to know what Vibha
is doing, to whom she is talking or
you from inside. how much she is spending on
herself…his check-list is endless.
By Suman Bajpai This very thought that Aakash keeps

POSSESSIVENESS

?
A FEAR OF LOSING
SOMEONE SPECIAL
a tight vigil on her irritates Vibha. She
knows that he loves her but can’t
understand that, in spite of knowing
each other for almost five years
before marriage, how come the
things have changed after their
marriage?
“I have a full faith in you – it’s just
that I have become little more
protective about you. After all, I am
your husband and it is my
responsibility to provide you security,”
Aakash explained his point of view.
“That is fine but I feel there is
more to it. I think you have become
possessive about me. Now, you don’t
like the idea of inviting your friends
at our place. I am yours and love you
very much,” Vibha tried to convince
him, but things got worse with each
passing day and ultimately a loving
relationship became unpleasant and
claustrophobic.
Normal human emotion:
Jealousy is a perfectly normal human
emotion. All of us have felt it at some
point in our life and sometimes quite
frequently. It’s natural to be envious
of another woman’s attractiveness or
fit body or your neighbour’s state-of-
the-art car or high-flying career. Even
in a relationship, mild jealousy is only
natural when you find your spouse or
partner paying attention to, or
admiring, another man or woman. Or
even slight possessiveness if you find
you don’t get enough of your
spouse’s attention due to a newborn
baby or other priorities.
Jealousy and possessiveness
become unacceptable when it gets
out of hand and begins to consume
the relationship. Often, a wife feels
desired if her husband displays
affectionate possessiveness or a
boyfriend feels more loved and
important if his girlfriend gets a little
irritated when he flirts or checks out
other women. So when does it get to
be a problem?
Limitations are set:
Possessiveness is a very common
emotion that prevails in relationships
but when this emotion fails to abide
by any boundary, you are in a deep
trouble. Though it is very unlikely to
run into such extreme characters in
real life, several people have
terminated their relationships
because their partners grew over-
possessive with them.
Remember the character of Shah
Rukh Khan in the film Darr, Sharad
Kapoor in Dastak, and Urmila
Matondkar in Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya?
They were all in love, and extremely
possessive about their love interests,
which eventually led to their ends.
Then starts the list of limitations
or boundaries to be followed like the
time of coming back home, minimum
interaction with the opposite sex,
tracing of phone calls…and the list
becomes endless.
Your spouse gets nasty if you
spend time with your friends, parents,
siblings – basically anybody other
than him or her. It gets to the point
where you either have no life and
company other than his or hers – you
have to account for your
whereabouts, or you have to lie, and
live in fear of being discovered. He
or she shows up suddenly at your
office once too often and even
quizzes your colleagues about what
was genuinely a working dinner. And
you often find your mail rifled through
or your drawers ransacked.
Inferiority complex leads to
insecurities: “I have been secretly
EVEN IN A
RELATIONSHIP, MILD
JEALOUSY IS ONLY
NATURAL WHEN
YOU FIND YOUR
SPOUSE OR
PARTNER PAYING
ATTENTION TO, OR
ADMIRING,
ANOTHER MAN OR
WOMAN.
following my husband wherever he
goes. And I know that he has not
been going out or meeting another
woman. But I do feel suspicious.
Even I dislike the idea of meeting him
with his family members, as they can
say something against me. Maybe
because I am not as smart as he is
and a fear of losing him or his
indulgence with other woman,
provoke me to do so. I will kill him if
he sees other woman,” says 26-year-
old ordinary-looking Harshita, who
has left her job after marriage
because her husband wanted her to.
Obviously, she is certain in her
own mind that she is wrong
somewhere. But feels that, because
she is married to him, she owns him
and therefore he should not have any
secrets, relationships, ambitions or
desires of his own. It is possible that
her anger may turn into rage one day
and rage may turn into violent actions
towards him.
Relationship experts feel that
possessiveness is fine but, as excess
of everything is bad, over-
possessiveness turns into psychiatric
disorder.
“The problem stems from personal
insecurities,” explains Dr Ekta Soni,
senior clinical psychologist, Apollo
Hospital. “It is the person’s inferiority
complex and lack of confidence that
makes them think that their partner
might find someone better,” she
adds.
 Desire for control: Possessive
individuals want exclusive rights to
their partners. They confine them and
they watch them. If their partners try
to run away, they lock them up. If
their partners succeed in running
away from them, they chase them.
They can never win. You can force
another person to do a lot of things,
but one thing you cannot make
another person do: you cannot make
the other person love you.
Desire for domination and control
is another major factor for
possessiveness. “Many people are
dominating by nature and some may
even qualify as ‘control freaks’.
These people derive satisfaction from
treating their partner, like their
property. In most cases these
individuals also suffer from feelings
of insecurity and inferiority,” feels Dr
Swati Kashyap, senior consultant,
behavioural medicine, Fortis La
Femme Hospital.
Those partners who try to fight
FOR INSTANCE, IF HE
OR SHE ACCUSES
YOU OF CHECKING
OUT, ADMIRING, OR
FLIRTING WITH
SOMEONE AND IT IS
TOTALLY UNCALLED
FOR, DON’T ARGUE
AND GET INTO
A HEATED DEBATE
ABOUT IT.
their own insecurity by exerting
power and control over their partners,
fail to see that the more tightly they
grasp their partners, the more their
partners will want to get away from
them. Even a mother, after a while,
tries to peel her clinging child off her
– not because she stops loving the
child, but she just gets tired of being
pulled and pushed and needs a
break from it.
Fear of loss: “Fear of loss of the
relationship is another major factor of
being possessive, when one is not
confident about the relationship and
fears that the partner may walk out
of the relationship any time. This is
especially true in cases where one
person is much more involved and
dependent on the other than the
other person,” opines Dr Swati
Kashyap.
Some require constant
confirmation of being wanted and
turn overpossessive when their
needs are not met. Often, when the
woman or man in the relationship is
attractive, charming, personable or
witty, more than the spouse,
insecurity sets in, which prompts
jealousy and leads to possessive -
ness. Sometimes, feelings of neglect
and lack of attention give way to
possessiveness and making them
want to cling to their partner,
sometimes unreasonably, and grudge
the attention they are bestowing on
others.
Research has established that
what many men want most in
marriage is not great beauty, brains
or sex, but the simple feeling of
‘possessing’ a woman. In other
words, what they seek is a degree of
ownership or power. And, in their
hearts, many women have the
complementary craving, to
totally ‘belong’ to their
husband.
Feeling of self-
worth: If you are
serious about the
relationship, try and
work through the
problem. For
instance, if he or
she accuses you of checking out,
admiring, or flirting with someone and
it is totally uncalled for, don’t argue
and get into a heated debate about it.
It will only worsen an already tense
situation. Instead, try to calmly and
rationally explain that you were not
doing anything of the sort and nor are
you tempted to. And, even if you
were, reassure them that it was
harmless, after all it’s human nature
to appreciate something or
somebody good looking and nothing
is going to come of it.
“If you wish to deal with your own
trait of overpossessiveness, focus on
building your self-esteem by
reminding yourself that you are a
very worthy though fallible human
being and the presence or absence
of a relationship in your life cannot
change that intrinsic worth. Also
remember, if the relationship is weak,
no amount of possessiveness can
save it. If it is strong, there is no need
for any over-possessiveness. In case
your partner is acting in an overly
possessive manner, you will need to
reassure him or her that he or she is
very special to you and your
relationship is a very strong
dependable one, suggests Dr Swati.
Communication is the key: It is
better to have a heart-to-heart talk
where both the partners can explain
their views and try to be more
enduring and understanding of each
other’s situation.
Trust is also a major issue. If a
partner is really possessive then he
or she obviously doesn’t have a trust
on the other. The key word here is
‘talk’; make sure it doesn’t turn into a
major row. Communication is the key
to any relationship and if any of the
partners is not willing to communicate
the relationship is not working. Make
him or her understand that it is not
healthy for a relationship to spend all
your time in each other’s company.
Soothe their concerns and worries
and encourage them to also spend
time with their own circle of friends.
Let him or her know that friends and
family are important to you, but he or
she is the most important person in
your life. We
 Show of strength
A missile unit of Korean People’s
Army (KPA) marches during a grand
military parade to celebrate its 75th
founding anniversary at the Kim II
Sung Square in Pyongyang. South
Korea on March 26 joined its US ally
in calling for a United Nations
response to North Korea’s
“provocative” rocket launch plan.

Models display
Canon’s new
entry-level digital
SLR camera
“EOS Kiss X3”
and 3D cameras
“Fine Pix Real
3D” which can
record full high
definition video
images, and
shoot 3D or 2D
images. The
cameras are
produced by
Canon and
Fujifilm and were
exhibited at the
Photo Imaging
Expo in Tokyo on
March 26.
Cannon’s latest cameras

Russian creations
Models present creations by Russian designer Valentine Yudashkin during a
fashion week on March 21 in Moscow.
 A model shows of South
Korean Hyosung Motors
GT250RR motorcycle during
the Tokyo Motor cycle show
on March 27. A total of 113
motorcycle makers, importers,
part makers and shops

A rare feat
participated in the three-day
exhibition.

Dany Torres of Spain performs during the Red Bull

X-Fighters motor cross exhibition in front of the Metropolitan
Cathedral in Mexico City on March 24. The X-Fighters
World Series kicked off on March 27 in Mexico.
People’s wordy power Kimono-clad people
line up at a playground
on March 28 to spell
out the words “Tokyo
Motorcycle display

2016” to support
Tokyo’s bid to host the
2016 summer Olympic
games. Tokyo is up
against three other
cities – Chicago,
Madrid and Rio de
Janeiro in its effort to
host the Olympics in
2016 and the
International Olympic
Committee (IOC) will
decide the host city on
October
2 in Copenhagen.
Pairs free skating event

Participants in the Pairs Free Skating Event of the 2009 World Figure Skating Championship at the
Staples Center in Los Angeles on March 25.
THE WAY TO BE
Getting through
today’s tough times.
By Kalpana M Naghnoor
ey! Just look around you

H
and what do you see? A lot
of unrest and it’s time we let
up a bit. With bombings in
our major cities, it is
impossible to feel the
security we once felt in our
country. With little children
we feel even more
protective and the distant
future seems a little too unsafe. So
what do we do? Just cribbing about
the situation is simply not enough.
Take charge of your neighbourhood.
● Asking the garbage collector in
your area to be vigilant regarding the
dustbins and other areas, where
destructive things could be
submerged.
● Talking to domestic staff and
enlightening them on the risks of
strangers in and around the area.
● Making sure vacant sites are
regularly cleaned of shrubbery so
that it cannot be misused.
● Anything seems amiss, not
hesitating to notify authority.
● Any unclaimed property being
brought to the notice of the
concerned authority.
● Dashing off letters to
newspapers and the concerned
authorities to keep them on their
toes.
These minimum precautions
taken, your job is done. Beyond this,
it is a little difficult to effect more from
your end. But what is achieved by
this small exercise? Well, at least it is
not an easy pushover for bad
elements. The moment bad elements
realise society is getting alert, it acts
as an hindrance to their verve. A, B,
C, D, E, F, are not going to solve our
problems, they are going to keep us
vigilant and help us feel a lot safer
than being in the dark. When society
awakens to threats, it becomes a
deterrent for unsocial elements. But
remember life must go on.
PRIORITISE YOUR
RESPONSIBILITIES
A working woman with family
responsibilities can find life bogging
her down. Heavy work schedules,
school schedules, homework the
children bring home, elders to be
taken care of, housework and hubby
dear! So...
● Prioritise your responsibility.
● Do not feel guilty about your
priorities. Remember, you are a
responsible, sensible woman and you
know how to go about your duties.
● Do not feel guilty about taking
help from institutions. For example,
if you have an ailing elder, you do not
have to give up your job to look after
that person. Get nursing aids to help
you out, and pay for it. Even if the
option evens out the money matrix,
you still have the job and the tenure
18
THESE MINIMUM
PRECAUTIONS
TAKEN, YOUR JOB
IS DONE. BEYOND
THIS, IT IS A LITTLE
DIFFICULT TO
EFFECT MORE
FROM YOUR END.
BUT WHAT IS
ACHIEVED BY THIS
SMALL EXERCISE?
WELL, AT LEAST IT IS
NOT AN EASY
PUSHOVER FOR
BAD ELEMENTS.
will amount to something.
● Value the fact that you can
multi-task. Use any resource that will
help you do that healthily. Maintain a
healthy approach to the daily routine,
tell yourself it does not bog you down
– and it will not. But also learn to say
NO when you have to. NO
MARTYRDOM please! In addition to
work, children’s daily demands and
housework. If guests are expected,
serve short snacks and the drinks
and pick up your purse for a quick
meal in a reasonable restaurant, or
order meals that fit in a good recipe
of your own.
I have a trick here. When you do
buy crockery and cutlery make sure
you buy the best in your budget and
the best suited to your lifestyle. What
happens is simple: food like dal and
rice and one nice veggie and another
dish thrown in makes a good treat for
the eye on lovely crockery.
About traffic and congestion, the
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
less said the better. If you were one
who lived in a city like Bangalore,
even as you read, you will be
nodding in tune with my words. IT
CAN GET REALLY BAD! There is
nothing you can do about it? Yes,
there is.
● A few letters to traffic cops,
pointing out the unbearably
congested areas will get the desired
result… well try.
● If you get stuck in traffic, at
least, warn a few commuters you
know who might be in the same snarl
as you.
● Opt for car pools – it may
relieve you too, of the burden of
weaving through the congestion day
in and day out.
● If you do at any time find an
errant Lothario at the wheels, tell him
there are other ways to romance.
In these times, life holds a new
fear; the fear of the uncertain. The
joint family has broken away in most
instances to nuclear, bringing with it
WHERE IS HAPPINESS?
Where is happiness?
I ask this question frequently
But my voice comes back lonely
Tired and worn out
But we think we are stout
One day I’ll reach my goal
And find my happiness on the whole
But I can’t wait
I think I am already late
“Be patent,” says my inner voice
It is not the destination.
But the journey
Which you should enjoy
Bit by bit
– Kanika Adlakha, Faridabad
the onus of fragile and short-time
multiple stresses.
We have a myriad other
unpredictable situations to cope with
– water problems, load-shedding,
labour inefficiency, ruffled
educational authorities, etc. This is
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
the society we live in today. With all
the technological improvements and
expanding money markets, we’ve
reached a stage where we are not
able to carry the population smoothly.
The reason being we are still over-
populated, under-efficient, under-
educated and below subsistence
level.
Therefore, we have a confused
populace, the threat of terrorism
causing intolerance. Then there are
our endemic problems, which
perpetuate further; it will take a long
time solving. The stress of living
through these times has surely hit us,
the thinking general public is bound
to have frayed nerves. Yet the
society is what it is and, therefore,
we must wade through.
Try this! Stand in front of the
mirror and smile, watch the smile
make you look and feel good, feel the
tension leave you. Try different
angles and spend five minutes doing
this. It will work wonders for you! We
19

TACKLING
RECESSION
Handy tips to handle the looming crisis.
By Shivendra Kumar
echnically, a recession is two
T consecutive quarters or more
of negative growth measured
by the country’s gross
domestic product.
Be ready before recession
strikes
The global economy has taken a
downturn. And, more importantly, if
experts are to be believed, worse is
still to come. In this crisis, there’s a
lesson to be learned about the
economy – it’s that you can’t fully
steer your financial planning the way
the winds are blowing because they
can change direction in an instant.
So, in the midst of economic
uncertainty, people need to steel their
personal finances just in case the
slowing economy brings nasty
surprises.
So what should you do?
Make sure your investments are
well diversified and stay focused on
your long-term goals. This means
don’t put all your the eggs in one
basket. Invest a major portion of your
20
disposable income in safe
instruments like fixed deposits or
national saving certificates. Bonds
and mutual funds should be only
second and third priorities. The stock
market should be the last in the list of
your investment portfolio.
You should be more cautious in
your spending, saving and borrowing.
It is not prudent for most households
to change their investment decisions,
save to underweight housing during
this period.
Paying down or paying off debt —
especially high-cost, non-tax-
deductible debt — is always a good
idea, but it’s particularly important if
you expect tough economic times
ahead.
There’s a big incentive for getting
rid of credit-card debt.
Paying off a credit card that has a
30 per cent annual rate is the same
as getting a guaranteed rate of return
of 30 per cent from your investments.
Buck up on your savings.
During this unstable time, we need
to be building our cash reserves to
be able to cushion against changes
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
and unforeseen events. Before, you
might have neglected building up a
cash reserve. Today, you can’t afford
not to have one – especially, when
you are not sure of your income in
the recession period.
So be sure you maximise your
contributions to your PF, especially
if your employer matches your
contribution. If you don’t contribute,
your employer will also not be bound
to contribute his part.
But to save, you must have your
budget in line so you have extra
money you can put away. This can
only be done when you focus your
budget on saving. So, forget all other
advice, and put your energy and
mind on safe savings.
Also, approach your budget as if
you are a corporate downsize
specialist. In a two-income family,
have two budgets in place: the
comfortable one and the
uncomfortable one, and have
concrete steps in place to execute if
needed.
Your comfortable budget is the
one that allows for the extras such
as eating out, lawn service, gifts,
vacations, etc.
The uncomfortable one involves
stripping down to basics.
Reconsider
purchases.
making large
If you are planning a discretionary
purchase such as lands, new floors,
etc, consider postponing those big-
ticket items. This is also true of
trading in cars — something most
people could stand to do much less
often.
•Finally, protect the source of your
income — your job — by making
yourself more valuable to your
employer. Because, in the recession
period, only those are retained who
cannot be done away with, the rest
are simply shown the door. So don’t
be on the fringe, work hard to be at
the centre of your organisation.
Ultimately, take care of yourself,
the rest will surely fall into its place.
Recession has a cyclical life, it
comes and goes away. It is not here
to stay for long. Before you can blink,
the sun may shine. Let’s hope for the
best. We
 The Ultimate
Equation
Noopur’s mother thought she was the ultimate at home –
until she met her equal. By Nalini Sharma

A
s Noopur kick-started her scooty outside her Time is short... Rahul will be here at six sharp...”
home to leave for her College of Excellence The house wore a festive look. Noopur did not
where she was working as a chemistry like her parents fussing over this ‘meaningless
lecturer, her mother emerged from the room tradition’ with so much pomp and show. The only
hurriedly on hearing the sound. “Rahul is thing that delighted her was the happy mien of her
coming to ‘see’ you in the evening,” she mother. She was pleasantly surprised to see her
reminded her. “Get back home early before mother looking almost beautiful with a sweet smile
five so as to get enough time to prepare for the adorning her face that she had never seen before.
occasion. I had asked you to take leave so that you The ugly frown that marred her looks was completely
have the shining glow on your face,” she added wiped out. For once, her mother forgot to glare at
peevishly,” but you...” Noopur’s gentle grandmother who seemed to cower
Noopur whirred past her, leaving her mother’s under her fierce stare. How Noopur wished the new
sentence unfinished before she launched a tirade to charming expression to settle on her mother’s face
tire her. Later in the afternoon, Noopur’s face forever.
flushed a bit as she sought permission from Rahul arrived with his parents on the
her HoD to go home early stammering Soon, both sets dot. One look at him and Noopur knew
before him some flimsy excuse that of parents that he was the man of her dreams — just
sounded unbelievable to her own ears. retired to made for her. In spite of her mother’s
Eyes downcast, she blushed and glanced another room entreaties, she had refused to drape herself
away not meeting his gaze. A gentleman leaving the in fineries for the occasion. Dressed
that he was, though not comprehending pair alone for casually without any trace of make-up,
her incoherent, unintelligible speech an informal Noopur greeted them ignoring the
properly, nodded acquiescence, thus not chat. They disapproving glance of her mother.
putting her in an awkward predicament. Soon, both sets of parents retired to
talked for a
She was expected to reach home well another room leaving the pair alone for an
long time
in time, have a wash and doll herself up informal chat. They talked for a long time
about things
for the ‘girl-seeing ritual’ she hated so about things in general of their common
much, though, like her mother,
in general of interests — films, favourite actors, pastimes
disobedience and disregard for the
their common and sports, etc. What impressed Noopur
sentiments of elders was not ingrained in
interests. most was that Rahul or his mother did not
her nature. She hurried home not because ask a single question about her culinary
she dared not disobey her mother but because she talents, embroidery and knitting related to so-called
was immensely fascinated by the credentials of the wifely duties. Rahul’s appreciative glance sent
‘boy’. thrilling waves running down her spine making her
Rahul was a tall, handsome young man in his late heart thump wildly with excitement.
20s. An executive engineer in a private firm, he had

an extremely promising career. She had heard it
from her mother for the umpteenth time.
“Well, seeing is believing,” she had retorted.
Now the D-Day had come.
Hardly had she entered her room when her
mother commanded her, “Get ready. Quick. I have
put your sari and all the accessories on your bed.
B
efore leaving, the visitors conveyed their
consent to her parents asking them to chalk out
the wedding programme as early as possible to
suit their convenience. Overjoyed, Noopur’s mother
just could not believe her ears how her daughter in
her plainest outfit had managed to impress Rahul.
The topic of dowry was not even broached.

22 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 In this whole process, Rahul’s parents had
discreetly kept away leaving everything in the hands
of their son and Noopur’s parents. When asked,
Rahul’s mother replied with a benign smile hovering
round her lips that she trusted her son fully and
respected his choice. She argued that it was he who
would have to spend his life with the girl he married.
Hence, it was none of her business to interfere in this
matter. Impeccably dressed, she looked extremely
beautiful, smart, elegant, confident and highly
understanding, commanding admiration and respect
from all. Her compromising demeanour added a
unique glow to her magnetic, majestic personality.
S
trange are the ways of destiny and even more
queer are the ways of human beings. Noopur’s
own mother, a despot by nature who never got
along well with her own mother-in-law and treated
her with scant respect, instantly developed a strong
liking for Rahul’s mother and raved endlessly over
her compromising, non-interfering attitude much to
the chagrin of Noopur. Her mother eulogised the
woman’s sterling qualities so much that Noopur felt
sick of her and grew immensely jealous of her
would-be mother-in-law. As admiration for her
mounted in her family so did Noopur’s dislike for
that lady.
In fact, Noopur was not to be blamed for the
uncalled-for resentment simmering within her heart
against her would-be mother-in-law even before her
marriage. Since early childhood her mother had fed
her on such a diet of hatred for all mothers-in-law in
general that she had come to believe that all of them
were some horrible creatures not to be respected but
fit for loathing and humiliation, to be
kept subdued by bullying them
constantly as her mother did.
Accustomed to hear harsh
criticism against the
whole tribe of moms-
in-law, this constant
praise sounded
jarring to
Noopur’s ears. Rahul’s
mother had done
absolutely nothing by
SHORT
STORY
word or action to merit Noopur’s dislike, but
it was a brutal fact that she hated her no
end.
Since childhood, Noopur had been
watching her mother’s behaviour closely.
With a stern frown on her brows, her
mother being a shrew, moved around the
house like a general inspecting his troops,
with a silver bunch of keys hanging at her
waist. All the members including her father
and grandmother whose very house she had
usurped, were dependent on her to meet
even their smallest needs. She took care to
make friends with those people who did not get
along well with her father and grandmother. She
dressed shabbily to tarnish their good name and hurt
them. To cause them intense agony she would
ignore them in the presence of outsiders. She would
go out of her way to pay respects to the parents-in-
law of her friends to earn their goodwill and
admiration.
As if that was not enough during sickness she
would not take meals prepared by her mother-in-law
but beg the neighbours or her own acquaintances to
provide her meals to earn their sympathy. She never
talked to her husband or her mother-in-law in a
friendly manner. If they asked her anything she
would either pretend not to hear them or snap at
them rudely.
N
oopur had seen many husbands reprimanding
their erring wives severely for their small
lapses but here was her mother getting away
with such nasty behaviour. Her father, an engineer
toiling hard at his workplace from morning till
evening, had no energy left to put up with the strain
of daily fights with his nasty wife. In the beginning,
Noopur remembered well that he had tried to
reason with her but she had refused to budge from
her stand. Throwing tantrums, she had
threatened her father with dire
consequences if he ever dared to cross
her and did not let her have her own
way. She adopted the tactics to subdue
him generally followed by worthless wives
who have nothing to merit their husband’s
love and respect.
Ominously, she had hissed, “If you
ever oppose me in future I would
either commit suicide or desert you...
and your children too... the choice is
yours...”
She had many tricks up her
sleeve and put them to use at the slightest excuse.
She ill-treated him with indifference and disrespect.
She was highly extravagant and spent Noopur’s
father’s hard-earned money on her own relatives
and acquaintances. For her own people there was
no dearth of funds but if Noopur’s grandmother
needed anything, her mother would kick up a fuss
and create such an ugly scene that the poor soul had
stopped asking for anything. Her mother ruled the
roost by creating a fear psychosis to subdue them.
Nobody loved her. Noopur thought that her
grandmother was a little fairy in the captivity of a
demon that her mother was.
continue with her disrespectful attitude silently
expressed through her gestures and actions.
The next morning, Rahul’s mother generously
handed Noopur a bunch of keys in a brief ceremony
as a mark of shifting the responsibility of running the
house to her shoulders. With unconcealed delight,
Noopur almost grabbed the keys from her mother-in-
law’s hands. With a flourish, slipping it round her
forefinger, she gave the bunch two or three whirls
before tucking it the left side of her waist. Everyone
stared aghast but she was past caring.
‘How I wish to have power in my hands and
make them dance to my tunes as my mother does,’
she mused with evil glee.

I
n the kind of atmosphere Noopur grew up it was Rahul’s father, a very cheerful person, would get
but natural for her to be adversely prejudiced up early in the morning, prepare morning tea and
against her mom-in-law even before her called each family member to join him, lovingly
marriage. With evil glee, she would often imagine beaming with a broad smile. Unlike Noopur’s
her towering personality crumpling to father, he took a keen interest in all the
pieces in fear her mother’s stern gaze like household activities and shared jokes with
her grandmother. Rahul’s father, the whole family making them roar with
Soon, the grand day arrived. On the a very cheerful laughter. The house throbbed with his lively
nearest auspicious date, Rahul and person, would presence. Noopur secretly appreciated this
Noopur were married with great fanfare get up early in kind of congeniality and even expressed
to mark the gala event. As her mother the morning, her pleasure to her mother telephonically
bade her farewell whispering words of prepare that she had missed in her own parental
advice in her ears, Noopur replied morning tea home.
confidently allaying her fears, “Don’t you and called each The only thing that Noopur did not like
worry. I am your daughter. I will follow in was Rahul giving too much attention to his
family member
your footsteps...” parents. She shared her misgivings with
Feeling on cloud nine at bagging such
to join him, her mother who promptly taught her the
a gem of a husband, Noopur entered the lovingly ropes to alienate him from his parents. In
portals of her in-laws’ home. There stood beaming with her mother’s remote control, Noopur soon
her mom-in-law resplendent in all her glory a broad smile. embarked upon her mission of isolating her
with a brass plate in her hands to accord husband from his parents by using all the
the newly-wed couple a grand traditional welcome. dirty tricks that her mother taught her. Try as she
She looked dignified and serene. After the might, she could not penetrate the granite-hard fort
customary arati, she kissed both on their heads of their bonds of love which hard grown stronger
lovingly. Welcoming rituals over, Rahul touched her over the years.
feet as a mark of respect but Noopur, possessed by

a demon of hatred, ignored her completely and
looked elsewhere deliberately. Rahul whispered
softly in her ear to follow suit but she pretended not
to hear him. She had silently expressed her dislike
for his mother by not paying respects to her.
The whole day passed jubilantly among their
relatives celebrating a series of rituals marking the
auspicious arrival of the new bride in their home.
Before retiring to their bedroom at night, the newly-
weds touched the feet of all the elders seeking their
blessings but Noopur again disregarded Rahul’s
mother on purpose. Though grieved at her
misdemeanour, neither Rahul nor his mother ever
discussed her lapse. They carried on their affairs as
if nothing amiss had happened. Not being censured physical ailment tormented her. They knew not that
for her misdemeanour emboldened Noopur to
T
hwarted in her attempt to bore holes of
dissension in their strong wall of mutual trust
and understanding, Noopur spent sleepless
nights scheming and planning. This began to tell
upon her health and dark circles appeared under
her eyes. Blissfully ignorant of her plight, her mother-
in-law offered to rub oil to cool her head so that
Noopur would get peaceful, undisturbed sleep at
night. Rahul took leave to take her out for
entertainment. Her father-in-law lost no time in
calling his family friend Dr Srinivas for a routine
check-up to find out if she had developed some
malady all of a sudden. Finding none, they sighed
with relief visibly and made Noopur feel guilty. No
she was the victim of her own adverse thoughts that

24 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

tormented her day and night by not letting her be in
peace.
Overwhelmed by their love and concern, Noopur
felt ill at ease in the family’s presence. Extreme
anxiety and nervousness turned her jittery making
her jump at every sound as if someone was going to
catch her red-handed doing something wrong.
W
hile Noopur was going through tremendous
mental stress for no reason, Ravi, her
younger brother, sought her help to make
their headstrong mother accede to his earnest wish
to marry his long-time friend and colleague, Nisha,
whom he loved deeply. Owing to pressure from
Nisha’s parents, he was under duress and eager to
solemnise his marriage soon. Nisha’s parents
argued that he had already put off his marriage long
enough waiting for his sister’s. Since she was
married and well settled now there was no need to
postpone it any further. If delayed, he feared he
might lose his lady love.
Hearing the plight of her brother, Noopur’s mind
instantly got diverted from her own non-existent
problem weighing on her mind. On the horns of a
dilemma, she knew not how to convince her
obdurate mother to make her acquiesce in fulfilling
Ravi’s desire. Being still in awe of her mother’s
stubbornness, she dared not broach the subject of
Ravi’s secret affair with Nisha, for Noopur knew that
if her mother refused once, no amount of cajoling
could make her budge from her stand. Knowing her
wicked nature well, the second cause of her worry
was that her mother would torture her brother’s wife
too as she did other family members. Tossing and
turning in her bed, Noopur spent sleepless nights
devising a solution to Ravi’s problem.
Then a bright idea struck her all of a sudden.
Since her mother nursed very soft feelings for Rahul,
Noopur sought his help in the matter and managed
to make her mother consent to Ravi’s
marriage with Nisha. Soon, the lovelorn
couple was united at a gala function
much to her elation and
satisfaction. Wedding over,
as soon as the newly-wed
couple left for their
honeymoon she returned
home and resumed her
efforts anew to
alienate Rahul from
his parents.
Hardly a
fortnight had
elapsed when her
mother’s
plaintive cry
over the phone for help disturbed Noopur’s mental
equilibrium already shattered owing to her repeated
failures in tearing her husband away from his
parents. For the first time in her life, Noopur had
heard her mother’s piteous wailing. It was she who
would browbeat others into crying. Something
serious must have happened to make her mother so
upset to give her frantic call.
It was then revealed that Nisha, Ravi’s wife, an
English lecturer, had an imposing personality. She
was a wilful woman. Assertive by nature, she was
accustomed to having her own way. In spite of her
parents’ stiff opposition, she had remained hell-bent
on marrying Ravi. With her unyielding attitude she
had succeeded in eventually making her parents
come round to accede to her wish. Her love
marriage with Ravi was ample proof of her strong
will.
She had openly denounced Noopur’s autocratic
mother refusing to obey her dictates outright from the
day she returned from her honeymoon.
D
isapproving her domineering attitude Nisha
totally condemned the way her mom-in-law
ran the house. Since Noopur’s mother had not
yet given her the responsibility of running the house,
she demanded the keys to be handed over to her
immediately. If she did not comply with her wishes,
Nisha threatened to leave the house with Ravi there
and then and settle elsewhere. She also made it
clear in no uncertain terms that she would not share
Ravi with his mother or with anybody else. Being
very possessive, Nisha wanted to possess Ravi fully,
body and soul. Frightened out of her wits when
Noopur’s mother tried to chat her up as a placebo,
but Nisha gave her the cold shoulder saying, “Now
the time is ripe for you to retire and place yourself
beside your husband in the cold storage where you
have put him for your convenience. Understand? I
am not going to be taken in by your sugariness.
Don’t you ever try to sweet-talk me. You can’t fool
me. I am wise to your tricks...”
On another occasion, weary of hearing her
mother-in-law’s harangues, Nisha had thundered,
“Enough! Cut out your sermon. I am not your
husband. Don’t ever try to cross me or subjugate me
into silence. Is that clear?”
For the first time in her life, Noopur’s mother had
an encounter with her equal – nay, a bigger bully
than herself. It was the ultimate equation. In her
wildest dreams, she had never imagined meeting a
more powerful opponent in her own home as a
deterrent to her own despotic behaviour.
Battered, she had run in panic to her husband
shedding tears copiously and entreating him to
intervene and do something to rein in the self-willed
Nisha, but he had just shrugged his shoulders
indifferently. Her constant nagging and bullying had
rendered him so meek and subdued that nothing
seemed to arouse him to action. She had weakened
the roots of the tree that provided her sustenance,
shelter and protection. Her loveless, aggressive
attitude had eaten the vitality and sapped the
strength of the pillar that propped her up.
Her husband turned into a dumb robot and with
Noopur gone after her marriage, Noopur’s mother
leaned on Ravi for moral support. The very thought
of Ravi being torn apart from her mercilessly had
caused her unbearably intense agony. On a razor’s
edge, she ran desperately from pillar to post
appealing for help in vain.
Noopur clutched her throbbing head in both her
hands to devise an amicable way to extricate her
mother from the painful predicament. Light of
understanding dawned on her all of a sudden.
Following in the footsteps of her mother, she too was
ill-treating her mother-in-law and was trying hard to
sow the seeds of dissension in her new home since
her arrival there. She had failed in her mission but
her brother’s wife had succeeded because her
mother had provided her the right soil and
atmosphere to breed the demons of discord.
As she strained Noopur mind to find a way out to
her mother’s problem, her own blurred vision began
to clear. She felt as if a great burden was lifted off
her head. She realised that her mother-in-law was an
angel.
In the morning, she rang her mother up. Apprising
her of the pleasant atmosphere and the congeniality
among all the family members in her husband’s
home, she said, “Ma, your problem has opened my
eyes. In fact, in your problem lies the solution to my
problem. Nisha is doing what you had been doing
for long. Do make some concessions for the sake of
your family to keep it united. It will not hurt you but
stand you in good stead. Create a delightfully
peaceful ambience... Help yourself... ma... please...”
As her mother heard her in stunned silence,
Noopur’s heart went out to her. She added in a
reassuring tone, “Don’t you worry, ma. Ravi will not
leave you. I am sure, with a little compromising
attitude, you can win his wife over.”
With that, Noopur turned her attention to setting
things right in her own in-laws’ home. We
 HARASSMENT
As the
social scale
will
continue to
tip against
the working
woman, she
has to
muster
courage to
OF
defend her WORKING WOMEN
university research scholar

A
honour. complained that her guide
made sexual overtures to
By I. M. Soni her. She bore this for
obvious reasons. But when
he crossed the limits of
tolerance and decency,
she complained to the vice
chancellor. A committee,
from the faculty of the
university, was formed to look into
the matter. The finding, as expected,
was the woman research scholar
was of a dubious character that she
attempted to seduce her guide to get
the doctorate degree. The “guilty”
professor was exonerated.
An Army officer tried to sexually
harass his subordinate. He asked for
sexual favours. She refused. A chain
of events followed. Media exposed
it.
 Sexual harassment at the
workplace is unwelcome sexual
advances, hints, direct or indirect, for
sexual favours, verbal offences, or
giving signals through suggestive
pictures.
In recent years, the publicity given
to VIP cases has increased public
awareness of this nuisance to women
workers.
Studies have revealed that three-
fourths of working women complain
that they have been harassed at
some point or other.
Some men do it ‘decently’. One
unmarried receptionist says, “My
boss has never made an indecent
pass at me. I was taken back when
one day, he held my hand and invited
me to dinner. I declined. He did not
repeat his proposal.”
It appears that present-day
organisations have not kept pace
with the spurt in sexual harassment
incidents.
This is all the more applicable to
women working at lower levels at the
workplace. One woman working as a
storekeeper in a bank complains that
the boss comes on the sly to the
store in the basement and plays all
kinds of silly suggestive tricks with
her. She got herself transferred from
her position.
This can assume alarming
proportions. As it did in the case
involving the son of a VIP politician
who raped a nurse employed in the
house to manage his wife.
The negative impact of sexual
harassment is devastating for a
political career even if the accused
secures a non-conviction order from
a court of law.
It is highly damaging for an
organisation because it can bring
negative media blasts, law suits and
public relations nightmares.
One chief manager of a bank
says, “This causes many problems.
It leads to absenteeism. The affected
woman worker tends to be absent on
one pretext or the other.”
ATMOSPHERE OF LOW
MORAL
Another, running a big commercial
college, says, “The worst is that it
creates an atmosphere of low moral.
Other women employees also begin
to shirk work, following the conduct of
the harassed victim.”
In industrial units these aspects
lead to lower productivity.
In office work, if the harassed
steno or typist absents herself, and
the boss finds himself at a quandary,
the letters piling up which is an
adverse reflection on his efficiency.
Sexual harassment at higher
levels usually goes unnoticed and
“MY BOSS HAS
unreported. Decency, courtesy, NEVER MADE AN
good manners, fear of bad
publicity, lowering the woman’s
INDECENT PASS
standing in society or official AT ME. I WAS
circles, stand in the way. TAKEN BACK
Litigation is thus ruled out.
But, there are exceptions. WHEN ONE DAY,
In an infamous case, a HE HELD MY
high ranking police
officer was accused of HAND AND
“slapping the bottom” of INVITED ME TO
a lady IAS officer at a
cocktail party. She sued DINNER.
the former, the case I DECLINED. HE
dragged on for years.
In this case, the IAS DID NOT REPEAT
officer with a solid HIS PROPOSAL.”
financial status also
had the moral courage to
stand up to a VIP.
 But what happens when the
woman whose bottom is slapped by a
“high” officer has neither moral nor
material strength to arraign him?
Sexual harassment of a woman
goes on and not only at official
parties. She is subjected to
suggestive and humiliating overtures
by men who drool over her anatomy.
The “juicier” the woman, the greater
the risk of sexual harassment she
faces at her workplace.
NEED MORAL COURAGE
Some strong women have the
moral courage to stand against men
but others suffer silently. The former
may report the matter to their bosses
privately (not in writing). The bosses
reprimand the offenders. And brakes
are applied to the erratic as well as
erotic behaviour.
In some cases, the offended
women react angrily, and settle the
matter in her own “court” by
dispensing justice to the culprit by
SEXUAL slapping him on the spot. The man
HARASSMENT AS crawls away like a worm.
But the beast in man wakes up
DEFINED BY THE any moment. A man who till now had
COURT IS: “SUCH controlled the fields outside the
home, cannot tolerate woman in
UNWELCOME equal positions. He considers her a
SEXUALLY “sex apparatus” – at office or home!
On 13 August 1997, the Supreme
DETERMINED Court laid down guidelines against
BEHAVIOUR sexual harassment at the workplace
and other institutions and directed
(WHETHER DIRECTLY employers to set up procedures
OR BY through which women could make
their complaints heard.
IMPLICATION) AS The apex court had made it
PHYSICAL mandatory for the Centre, State
Governments, and private and public
CONTACT AND sector undertakings to ensure that
ADVANCES, A women do not work in a “hostile”
environment.
DEMAND OR The meaning and content of
REQUEST FOR fundamental rights are “sufficient
amplitude to encompass all the
SEXUAL FAVOURS, facets of gender equality including
prevention of sexual harassment or
abuse,” it has noted.
Sexual harassment as defined by
the court is: “Such unwelcome
sexually determined behaviour
(whether directly or by implication) as
30 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
physical contact and advances, a
demand or request for sexual
favours, sexually coloured remarks,
other unwelcome physical, verbal or
non-verbal conduct of sexual nature.”
The survey conducted by the
National Commission for Women
found that a majority of women were
not even aware of the Supreme Court
guidelines.
Educating women about the
Supreme Court guidelines is the only
remedy. This will bring awareness in
working women for their protection.
Men who indulge in “dirty” tricks will
know about the consequences. This
will deter them from making sexual
advances.
For the working women in the
country this is going to be a
prolonged fight. Because one
judgement cannot change the
mindset of the people, especially in
our country which is tradition-bound.
However, it cannot be denied that
women themselves have to be more
vigilant and upright than they are at
present. They have to be “active”
rather than “passive”. A snub to the
offending male puts him on the
defensive.
The woman who fights shy of
seeking help may come home with a
bleeding psyche. A tongue-lashing on
the spot may prevent this.
She must also be aware that
basically it is a question of her own
morals and the kind of image she
projects of herself. Why do men
choose a particular woman as a
target of their lust?
The National Commission of
Women has come out with the
following code of conduct at the
workplace, it is in tune with a
Supreme Court judgement:
No unsavoury and sexist remarks.
No innuendoes.
No forcible physical touching or
brushing against any part of the
body.
No physical confinement against
one’s will.
No display of pornographic or
offensive pictures, cartoons or
pamphlets.
No treating women employees as
sex objects. We
 NANDINI SARMA,
WHO WROTE HER NAME ON AN
ASTEROID
Profile of young multi-faceted biomedical genius.
By G. V. Joshi
n asteroid, also called a
A
minor planet or planetoid,
in our solar system has
been named after a
teenage Indian-American
girl, Nandini Sarma, who
won the first place at the
2007 Intel International
Science & Engineering Fair
for her microbiology
project. The asteroid, which was
discovered on 21 November 2000 by
the Lincoln Laboratory Near Earth
Asteroid Research (LINEAR), has
been named as 23228 Nandinisarma.
She is the first woman of Indian origin
to receive this honor.
Nandini Sarma, a senior high
school student at the Shawnee
Mission East High School, Kansas,
USA, has recently received several
awards and wide recognition for her
outstanding research work in
biomedical sciences. Nandini is the
32 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
daughter of Girish and Minakhi
Sarma from Assam who live at
Overland Park, Kansas.
Since her first year in high school,
Nandini has been conducting
research to find solutions to common
health-related problems such as
food-borne illnesses, cancer and viral
infections.
Her research on natural food
preservatives revealed that garlic can
effectively replace the harmful
synthetic chemical preservatives from
the food chain (meat and eggs), thus
providing a health-friendly, easily-
available and cost-effective natural
alternative to prevent food-borne
illnesses caused by consumption of
salmonella and E. coli-contaminated
meat and eggs.
For cancer research, Nandini
studied the effect of a selected virus
infection on the Herpes virus induced
tumor development in-vivo and its
affinity to kill transformed cells in-
vitro. Although, from the preliminary
studies, she came out with interesting
findings and encouraging results,
further work is in progress before
coming to a final conclusion.
Recently, Nandini started working
on the pathobiology of the herpes
simplex virus under the mentorship
of Prof G. S. Read, one of the world's
most renowned scientists in herpes
simplex virus research. Her research
findings were presented at the 32nd
International Herpes virus Workshop
and a research paper is being
prepared for publishing in the Journal
of Virology.
RECOGNITION AND
AWARDS
Her research brought her several
awards and recognition from the
scientific community at the national
as well as international level. She is
the recipient of the Greater Kansas
City Science and Engineering Fair
(GKCSEF) first place grand award
consisting of plaques, trophies, cash
and certificates for three years in a
row for outstanding achievements in
biomedical research, and selected for
all-expenses-paid trips to present her
research findings at the 2005, 2006
and 2007 Intel International Science
and Engineering Fair (Intel ISEF).
At the Intel ISEF, Nandini's
research projects won several
awards including the first place grand
award in microbiology, fourth grand
award in medicine and health,
second special award from the
AVASC foundation, first place award
consisting of a plaque, certificate of
achievement and cash from the US
Air Force, and first place award
consisting of a gold medallion, cash
and certificate of achievement from
the US Army.
At the 2007 Intel ISEF, she was
also selected for an all-expenses-
paid trip to participate in the London
International Youth Science Forum
(LIYSF) held in London from 24 July
to 8 August, 2007.
A total of 250 selected high school
students from 61 countries partici -
pated for this year's International
Youth Science Forum in London.
Science research is not the only
passion for Nandini. She is equally
involved in various other activities.
She is an avid debater and prolific
writer and has won several medals
and other awards at the local and
regional debate competitons,
literature and writing contests. She
has won the Sons of the American
Revolution's (SAR) American history
essay and oration contests at the
state level competitions and got
selected to represent Kansas at the
national contest for two consecutive
years. At the national competition,
she won the third place award for the
American history essay contest and
received medals, certificates and
cash awards.
Besides being a top ranking
student in her high school class, she
is also a national merit semifinalist.
Nandini also loves music very
much. She has been playing the
piano since she was six. In music
also, she has received several
awards.
Besides the piano, Nandini also
loves to dance. She has been
learning to dance since she was
seven years old. Currently, she is
learning Indian classical dance
(Bharatanatyam). She also performs
and choreographs various Indian folk however, is community service. Her
dances including the bihu dance of first fundraiser event was a "Used
Assam. Book Sale" that raised over $4,000
She loves to play sports as well. towards building schools, hiring
She has been playing tennis and teachers, etc. in Guatemala.
soccer and is in her school's tennis Currently, she is the chairperson of
team. her school's AIDS awareness
One of her biggest passions, programme (a community education
project).
For outstanding community
service, she was awarded the
President's student's service award
(gold) during her junior year at high
school.
For undergraduate study, Nandini
has been accepted to all the
universities she applied for including
Princeton, Yale, Stanford, MIT and
Harvard. Nandini has finally decided
to join Harvard University. Her elder
brother Arup Sarma is an equally
brilliant student and has graduated
from the well-known Massachusetts
Institute of Technology. We
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 33
 QA &
Q&
I have an eight-month-old son. I
introduced solids when he was about
five-and-half months. My worry is that
he does not like the idea of eating
and does not seem hungry, no matter
what. As a result of this he is not
gaining weight. The doctor has
prescribed various medicines. As
long as he takes them he starts
eating well but only for a few days. I
am still breastfeeding him and he
seems to like it. Otherwise he
appears active and healthy. His
eating habits are driving me nuts.
Please help me improve his diet.
Even children as young as this
have individual preferences. Look out
for his likes and serve bigger portions
of these foods. Sometimes mothers
give babies an increased quantity of
breast milk as they are not eating
A
well, which in turn kills their appetite
and they refuse solids. Decrease his
intake of breast milk gradually over
a period of time so that he feels
hungry enough to take solid foods.
My daughter is 11 months old and
ever since she began teething at six
months of age, she has stopped
bottle feeding. I have tried all the milk
preparations like Bournvita, Complan,
Horlicks and milk shakes but nothing
works. I want to stop breastfeeding
as she is 11 months old. Although
she eats solid food, it is not in
sufficient amounts as she needs a
breastfeed after every meal. She gets
cranky, especially during the night. It
has been a month since I have slept
properly. Please help.
You could try milk in other forms
34
such as curds, custard, kheer etc.
You could also increase the portions
of solid foods. Though there is no
harm in giving breast milk to an
11-month-old child, I think your
daughter has made it more a habit of
latching onto your breast after every
meal for, by this age, most children,
even those who take proper feeds
and adequate amounts of milk, sleep
through the night. It is high time that
her sleeping habits are regularised.
Give her a good meal at night, maybe
even some breast milk, and put her
to bed.
I have a seven-month-old daughter
who tires of her toys very quickly.
What kind of toys can I get her and
what games can I play with her to
ensure her overall development?
Children have a very short
attention span, therefore it is but
natural that she tires of her toys so
quickly. Do not worry about that. To
My six-year-old
daughter has dry
skin on her legs
and buttocks. This
causes itching. I
would like to know
what it is due to
and what is the
remedy for it.
Your daughter is probably
suffering from skin allergy. Please
take her to a paediatrician and/or
skin specialist. Keeping the skin
moisturised is also a good idea.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
ensure overall development, talk
with her as much as you can. In a
short while you will be holding a
conversation with her for whenever
you utter endearments she will
reply with happy cooing sounds.
You could sing to her, massage her
personally to increase bonding and
hang a musical, colourful toy over
her cot that attracts her attention.
At this age she must have
begun teething for which you could
get her teething rings that are
made of good plastic. Do not buy
her stuffed toys as of now, as she
might get smothered in them. Furry
toys are also not a good idea as they
can cause allergy.
My wife has delivered recently.
Please tell me how often we should
bathe our baby and what is the right
method of giving a bath.
It is not necessary to give the
baby a bath every day. In fact it
should be avoided till the cord has
fallen off. In the meantime you could
sponge her with a clean, wet
washcloth, taking care to wipe the
area of the neck, the armpits, the
groin and the cleft of the buttocks.
Once the baby is ready for a bath,
make sure that you have all that you
need with you for on no account can
the baby be left alone during a bath,
even for a second. The baby should
be bathed in a warm place. Fan and
air-conditioner should be switched
off. The eyelids should be cleaned
first with separate sterile swabs for
each eye, from the inner to the outer
edges. Next the ears and the area
behind the ears should be cleaned.
The baby should be held in the arms
his or her scalp washed with soap
and dried with a towel. The genital
and anal areas should be wiped
cleaned first; then the body should
be lathered with soap taking care to
give special attention to the groins
and armpits. Now lower the baby into
a tub of warm water and wash
thoroughly. Pat the baby dry with a
towel; do not rub. Wipe the area of
the navel dry and clean with a spirit
swab.
– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

THE
NEW-AGE
WOMAN
he new-age woman is sexy
T
remember the Santoor ad?
and smart and proud of
herself. She's not apologetic
about being herself, earning
more than her father/ -
husband/neighbour, or about
handling bad marriages and
relation ships. “It's my life,”
seems to be the song on
every woman's lips today – and why
not? She has waited long enough for
that freedom and now that she has
got it she's holding on to it, come
what may. If concentrating on career
and being focussed on goals makes
her self-centred, so be it.
The glass ceiling has been
shattered and today women are
being accepted as equals in the
work-place and also globally even
though it took a lot of persistence and
effort.
The most evident change is in the
doormat housewife. No longer known
as only the housewife, she is now not
The new
woman has
undergone
a complete
transformation.
By Padmaja
Menon
even a “homemaker” but the
“domestic engineer” who juggles
work outside and inside. She's smart
to see that work is not one-sided any
more. She makes it clear that she is
not a superwoman and cannot be
everywhere and also that a house
and its work load belong to both the
partners and so she insists on them
sharing the workload equally (well,
almost).
She does not believe in taking
time off from work because her baby
is sick. She prefers to have a choice
– either she or her husband –
whoever can take time off. Neither
does she take kindly to be blamed
for anything that goes wrong in the
house. A little bit of sugar and lots of
spice – that's the new Indian
housewife, smart and sexy to boot.
She's evolved – adapted to the
new future. She's confident and
balanced emotionally, personally and
professionally. Three cheers to the
new-age woman!
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
A white lie
In the eighties there was a
scarcity of maids at Mettur
Dam. So we all kept our
mouths shut for whatever our
maid did lest we lose her.
One day, our maid
Akkamma told my wife,
“Madam, my husband has
vowed to Tirumala temple to
offer his hair. To accomplish
the vow he is proceeding to
Tirumala next Sunday and
returning on Friday. If you
donate some amount to us, it
will be helpful to meet his
travel expenses. He estimates
the total expenses would be
Rs 2000.”
My wife looked at me.
How could I keep mum when
our maid asks? I immediately
gave her Rs 2000. My wife
also gave her Rs 1000
separately to deposit in the
temple treasury.
On Monday, Akkamma
promptly informed us that
her husband had commenced
his journey on the previous
day. On Saturday she said he
had safely returned after
fulfilling his vow. A few
days later, unexpectedly, I
saw her husband at a tea stall.
But his head had a full load
of hair.
Seeing me he immediately
rushed away. But I did not
open my mouth about this
before Akkamma. If I did, I
was sure we would certainly
lose our maid.
Now about 20 years have
passed. But even now we
remember Akkamma and her
tactfulness of collecting a
huge amount from us.
– S. Palanisamy,
Madurai.
We
35
DUBAI DIARY EPISODE - 2

THE
BACKDROP
UP FRONT
ubai is one of the seven

D
emirates that make up the
United Arab Emirates
(UAE). The UAE is situated
on the northeastern part of
the Arab peninsula and is
bordered to the south and
west by the Kingdom of
Dubai’s desert Saudi Arabia and to the east
and north by the Sultanate
environment is a of Oman.
The seven emirates that make up
fascinating historical, the UAE are Abu Dhabi, Dubai,
Ajman, Fujairah, Ras Al Khaimah,
geographic and Sharjah and Umm Al Quwain. Abu
Dhabi is the largest emirate and
sociological tapestry. Dubai comes next, with an area of
3,885 square kilometers out of the
A glimpse. total UAE area of 83,600 square
kilometers.
By Kasturi Rangachari The area surrounding the city of
Dubai consists of sandy desert and
salt flats ( sabkha ). But to the east
rise the Hajar Mountains. The highest
point in these mountains is Jebel

The Jumeirah Mosque where the

mosque visit was held.
Yibir (1,527 mts). Dubai, which is on
the coast, sits on the banks of a
creek—a natural inlet from the Gulf
– that divides the city into two.
The Emirate of Dubai is a land of
startling contrasts. There are endless
stretches of desert, rocky mountains,
windy and rough seas and small but
modern towns just outside the main
city of Dubai. The climate is a
typically desert climate – hot days
and cool, even cold, nights. But the
heat is no problem in modern Dubai
as every single place and vehicle –
every high rise apartment block, villa,
shop, mall, restaurant, work place,
commercial complex, government
building, taxi, bus, car, you name it –
is air-conditioned.
Even the lowest paid manual
labourers live in air-conditioned
dormitories, though they have to work
in the open under the scorching sun
during the day. Low-rent housing has
room ACs, better apartments have
split-level ACs and the more
expensive apartments have central
AC.
In fact, it is not unusual to see
people wearing sweaters and
scarves as they walk around the
malls of this “desert” city or work in its
offices! I myself love the cold but
can’t tolerate it too well. So I wear a
light sweater and a pair of fluffy, soft,
fur-lined slippers at home and carry a
shawl when I go to a mall or movie
hall.
TRANSFORMATION
The story of Dubai’s growth and
progress is truly astonishing,
especially since the emirate has few
raw materials or special advantages.
Till almost the end of the 19th century
it was an unremarkable backwater
populated by people whose only
means of livelihood were fishing,
pearl-diving and subsistence farming.
But thanks to the far-sighted Sheikhs
(belonging to the Maktoum family)
who have ruled Dubai from 1830, the
emirate has been transformed.
Encouraged by the far-sighted and
liberal attitudes of the rulers, Indian
and Persian traders were attracted to
Dubai early (some natives have
Persian and Indian roots) and began
to use it as a centre for their
operations. The sheikhs also
recognised the strategic importance
of the Creek and improved facilities
there to attract more traders. The city
thus came to specialize in the import
and re-export of goods (especially
gold to India) and it was this import-
re-export trade that became the
foundation for Dubai’s progress and
development.
In 1958 huge oil reserves were
discovered in Abu Dhabi. In fact the
emirate has an incredible 10 per cent
of the world’s known oil reserves. It
also has the fifth-largest natural gas
reserves in the world. In 1966, oil
was also discovered in Dubai –
though much less than was
discovered in Abu Dhabi. By this time
Dubai was already a relatively
wealthy trading centre. But the oil
revenue helped Dubai develop an
enviable infrastructure in roads,
housing, education, healthcare, water
and electricity before the oil wells ran
almost dry.
Dubai has ground water, but since
rainfall is scanty and erratic, the level
of the water has been falling at the
rate of one metre per year for the last
30 years. Add to this the facts that
climatic conditions make for high
consumption of water and that the
population has been growing fast for
the last few decades and you have a
situation in which water was bound
to be problem.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
But, even though the UAE has the
highest water consumption in the
world (more than 100 gallons per
capita per day and per capita
consumption of 265 litres of bottled
water per year!), foresight, planning
and the fact that there is no paucity of
money in the emirate have solved the
problem at least for the present. This
is through the setting up of
desalination plants (which used the
reverse osmosis process till the ‘90s
and more modern technology since
then) to make brackish water potable.
The plants run on gas.
But Dubai did not have the work
force needed for all that had to be
done and thus began the influx of
workers into the emirate that
continues to this day. In 2005 the
total population of Dubai was 4.041m
out of which 3.23m were expats! 50
per cent of these expats are from
South Asia (mainly from India,
Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka
– with the largest number being from
India). The rest are from the other
Emirates, from other Arab countries,
from Europe and from East Asia
37
(mainly the Philippines). Less than
20 per cent of the population of Dubai
consists of UAE citizens.
From the beginning people loved
to come and work in Dubai. Lots of
low-skilled workers dreamed and still
dream of getting jobs in the emirate
because wages are better here than
in their home countries. Educated
people in executive and management
jobs also get better pay scales – with
the added attraction that they don’t
have to pay income tax!
CONSTRUCTION
BOOMING
This is still a big plus-point, though
over the last decade or so, the
government has begun to charge for
many services and facilities which
were earlier free or for which very low
charges were levied. For instance,
visa charges have risen, one has to
pay for parking in areas in which it
was earlier free, one has to pay toll
charges on several roads, etc.
So much construction work was
taking place in Dubai till recently that
70 per cent or so of all employment
was in the construction sector. Now
construction has slowed down
because of the world-wide economic
38
recession and the percentage must
be lower though there aren’t figures
available yet.
Wherever you look in Dubai, you
will see young people. Of course,
there are old locals and tourists, but
otherwise, most expats go back when
they are not able to renew their visas,
when they have made enough
money, when they have had enough
of life away from home or when they
reach retirement age. They cannot
normally become citizens of Dubai,
though an occasional distinguished
expat is given citizenship by the
rulers as acknowledgement of his
contribution to the Dubai economy.
People in business can stay on as
long as they are running their
businesses.
Expats from the same country
tend to live in the same area and
shops set up by their countrymen and
specialising in foodstuffs and other
items unique to that country, will be
found in these areas. But there is a
healthy mixture of nationalities and
cultures in both workplaces and in
the cultural life of Dubai.
All told, Dubai has been an
enormous success story. A small
town in the middle of endless desert
has become, in an amazingly short
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
span of time, a fairyland of spanking
new high-rise buildings, gardens,
broad roads filled with fast-moving,
gleaming cars, crowds of prosperous
people of every hue, huge malls with
every possible high-end brand, not
just about four dozen five-star hotels,
but even a seven-star one (the Burj
Al Arab), marinas filled with boats,
facilities for golf, water sports, desert
safaris, ballooning and…well just let
your imagination run wild and it’s all
here!
But the world-wide recession has
hit Dubai hard as it has practically
every other country in the world.
Construction, the engine that
powered growth for the last few
decades, has slowed down and real
estate prices have plunged. Big
projects – like the Jumeirah Gardens
project, the Jumeirah Islands project
and the Palm Deira project – have all
been “scaled down”. Even road and
bridge construction have been
affected because, according to
rumours, the government has been
slow in paying its contractors.
INVESTMENT REAL
ESTATE
From around 2001 the
government has allowed expats to
purchase freehold property in certain
earmarked areas. This was because
a shortfall in homes and commercial
property was emerging and rents
were sky-rocketing. There was also
the fact that the government wanted
to keep construction booming and
attracting expat investment into real
estate would be killing two birds with
one stone.
Once the scheme was launched,
many commercial buildings,
apartment blocks and villas came up
in the earmarked freehold areas and
many expats invested in real estate.
The ones who did so initially got very
good deals but many followed a
watch and wait policy to see how
things worked out. When the scheme
seemed successful and the
government didn’t seem to be having
second thoughts, many more expats
bought property, though prices had
begun to rise.
 Whole colonies for expats came
up. Expats also began to see this as
an investment opportunity and many
of them began to buy property and
pay the initial down payment,
anticipating that prices would rise and
that they could then sell their
properties (even before they were
completed) and make a killing.
Many did, but the present
downturn in the real estate market
has put paid to the hopes of many
more who are now finding
themselves facing falling prices for
properties they have bought but do
not want. Looming threateningly
ahead in the future, are the
installment payments they will have
to make for these properties----not at
falling, but at the original rates! But if
you haven’t already bought property,
this is the time to do so.
EMPLOYMENT DROPPED
Today, because of the world-wide
recession, employment is falling fast.
The first to be affected are expats –
because, naturally, the government
has been quick to announce that
locals cannot be easily laid off. Even
expats who are highly placed officers
and management executives had
been pink-slipped and among them
more Westerners have been
retrenched than others. This is
because Western expats are paid
more than their South Asian
counterparts for the same kinds of
jobs in Dubai.
As foreign workers cannot stay on
in Dubai without a work visas, many
have been forced to return to their
own lands. And with large numbers of
borrowers not being able to keep up
with their car installments and home
mortgage payments, banks have
repossessed many of these assets.
Dubai is an Islamic emirate and
certain rules have to be followed
even by members of other faiths.
Friday is the main weekly holiday and
when there is a two-day weekend,
either Thursday or Saturday is
attached to Friday. National holidays
are all related to Islam or to days
important to the emirate.
I was in Dubai during the holy
month of Ramadan (which we call
Ramzan in India) when all adult
Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset.
Government offices work shorter
DUBAI IS AN
hours and even private companies ISLAMIC EMIRATE
allow their Muslim staff to leave early.
No one, not even non-Muslims, can
AND CERTAIN
eat or drink in public between sunrise RULES HAVE TO
and sunset during Ramadan. No
restaurants serve food during the day
BE FOLLOWED
and even non-Muslims cannot nibble EVEN BY
at their desks in their workplaces or
even drink water in their own cars
MEMBERS OF
openly during this month of fasting. OTHER FAITHS.
The Dubai government repeatedly
tells “visitors” (meaning all tourists
and expats) to be sensitive to the
feelings of their “hosts,” meaning
emirates or locals.
But this does not mean that an
Islamic lifestyle is imposed on non-
Muslims. People can eat and drink in
their homes during Ramadan (but not
on their balconies where they can be
seen by others!). Restaurants do
brisk business in take away and
home deliveries and workplaces ear
mark small rooms as places where
non-Muslims can go and eat and
drink water.
But the Dubai authorities are also
practical. Since they are trying very
hard to show-case Dubai as a sun-
fun-and-shopping tourist destination,
five-star hotels serve food in their
restaurants and rooms even during
the daytime during Ramadan. But the trouble was firmly and
Ramadan is a trying time for promptly quelled. Some Pakistan
Muslims and, especially during the troublemakers were sternly dealt with
hot afternoons, tempers often flare and affected shopkeepers were given
up. In workplaces, non-Muslims treat generous compensation.
their Muslim colleagues with caution Again, when an IMF-WB
and the papers are full of police conference was held in Dubai in
entreaties for people to drive carefully 2003, Israel not only attended the
especially when they are on their way conference but the Dubai
to break their fasts. This is because government also ensured that there
the number of accidents goes up was no trouble over this and no noisy
sharply during Ramadan – especially demonstrations. The only
during the first few days of fasting demonstrator in sight outside the
and in the days just before Eid. venue of the conference was, in fact,
But the truth is that, in many ways, a white woman protesting against
this Islamic country is much more other IMF-WB policies.
“liberal” than many so-called secular This liberal face of Dubai slipped a
countries. After the Babri Masjid was little from world view when in this
demolished, there was some unrest edition of the Dubai Open tennis
here and a temple in one of the main tournament, the emirate refused an
market areas was attacked and Israeli woman tennis player, Shahar
Indian shops near it were damaged. Peer, a visa. There was a hullabaloo
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 39
about this and the WTA threatened
to take Dubai off its tour calendar
from 2010. Dubai caved in and a
male tennis player was later given a
visa, but the Dubai Tennis Association
still faces a fine which it is appealing.
However, as many will agree,
there was grave provocation for
Dubai’s action. The 22-day Israeli
assault on Gaza in last December
and January during which 1300
people, one third of them women and
children, were killed, shocked every
single thinking person in the world
while it traumatized and infuriated
Arabs. It was in response to this
blood-shed that Dubai denied the
Israeli a visa, saying that they could
not guarantee her safety.
GENUINE DESIRE
But as all non-Muslims and expats
living in Dubai will agree, there is a
genuine desire here to help
foreigners and non-Muslims
understand the culture of the emirate.
On one of my previous visits to
Dubai, I attended a “mosque visit”,
together with a busload of Western
tourists. I had seen the visit
advertised in the papers and had
been intrigued enough to turn up at
the time specified. Before we entered
the mosque, those of us who had our
legs, arms and heads bare were
given scarves and shawls and
requested to cover up. My salwar,
full-sleeved kameez and dupatta
40
outfit was much appreciated by the
guides!
We were first shown around the
mosque which was well-constructed,
cool and beautifully decorated. I
could not take my eyes away from
the huge and most amazing stained
glass windows that were everywhere!
Later we all sat down on the deep
pile carpets that covered the floor in
the main hall and a Muslim woman
spoke to us about Islam. She was a
Swiss girl who had been drawn to
Islam and had converted. She had
later married an Arab. She spoke
with deep conviction, though not at
all in a fanatical manner, and
explained to us that Islam is
compassionate and rational. Later
she offered to answer questions.
A European boy of about 10 was
the first to raise his hand. “Why do
you all make so much noise at
prayer-time?” he asked.
Our hostess was a bit confused
and taken aback till she understood
that the boy was referring to the
azaan or call to prayer which is
broadcast over a public address
system from every mosque. She then
laughed and told us about the Muslim
belief that prayers were community
affairs and that there were strict
timings for them. This was why there
was a loud call to prayer from every
mosque five times a day, she
explained.
During Ramadan, the authorities
also invite tourists and non-Muslim
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
expats to visit the homes of locals,
break the Ramadan fast with them at
sunset, relax in their company and
then stay for dinner. I would have
loved to go for one of these visits but
have always been deterred by the
fact that the food served is almost
completely non-vegetarian and I
would only embarrass my hosts by
going to their home and refusing to
eat anything! The Arabs are
extremely hospitable and it is just not
done to refuse food when they offer
it.
Traditionally, every Arab who can
afford to do so, gives food and drink
in charity when the fast is broken at
sunset, every evening of the holy
month. The tradition followed for
many centuries was for people to put
up tents in front of their home (tents
are a very beloved part of Arab
culture) and serve food to travelers,
the poor, passersby and neighbours
and friends. But with Dubai being
“modernised” this practice is being
discontinued – much to the dismay
of older people but to the relief of the
women and servants of the house
who had to prepare huge amounts of
food while themselves fasting the
whole day!
Naalini washed and vacuumed
and mopped – and talked. One of the
first things she told us was, “I am not
a Tamil!” We are Tamilians and did
not quite understand whether she
was assuring us that she wasn’t a
member of the LTTE, announcing her
political affiliations or warning us not
to take liberties with her!
Naalini was one of six siblings and
her father worked as a cleaner in a
Colombo hotel. “We suffered a lot
when I was a child,” she said. “Often
there wasn’t even enough food for us
to eat.
My eldest brother desperately
wanted to go and work in Singapore
or somewhere in the Middle-east. He
didn’t get a chance – but I did!”
Naalini’s chance had come in the
form of an offer from a family friend to
get her a job in a “maid agency” in
Dubai. Naalini had jumped at the
offer and had come to Dubai six
months earlier. Her work visa had
been sponsored by the agency. We
 QA &
Q&
Is it true that make-up like clothes
has seasonal colours? And is it
predicted or just arrives on its own?
So what is the shade of make-up for
2009?
The seasonal colours of clothes
and make-up are often decided by
the international and national fashion
shows. These colours and textures
are often predicted well in advance
A
so that make-up companies can
formulate them in advance. Yes, the
colours of 2009 are more yellow and
green on the eyes and pinks are
expected to be big for cheeks and
lips during summer months.
I want to decide on a basic make-up
box contents. I tend to have so much
in my bag and when I travel I am
reeling under the make-up goodies I
carry. Help me decide the minimum
and necessary in the bag for beauty
and for skin care.
Many companies have ‘travel’
sizes so you don’t have to travel with
the big sizes. For skin care keep a
cleanser and moisturiser for travel
and add a toner for home. You might
need soft cotton and earbuds for
cleaning make-up depending on how
much you use and if you use
waterproof products. For make-up
you need mascara and base colour
eyeshadow, for lips a lip liner and
lipstick or just gloss if you don’t wear
lipstick.
Make-up for travel should include
a blusher and bronzing powder for
the times when you need to glow.
Tissues and lip balm in a bag is a
good idea.
I feel my eyelashes have become
very weak. I have stopped using any
eye make-up, what else can I do?
In normal cases eyelashes keep
falling off and new hair appears
regularly. If there is hair loss that is
faster than regrowth, there could be a
variety of reasons. It is best to
consult a dermatologist to rule out
any infection or inflammation.
At night you can apply a drop of
olive oil. You are right in not using
eye make-up unless you establish
the reason behind the loss of
eyelashes.
How much moisturiser do I need in
summer? I am a lawyer and work in
the sun also at times. If I use too
much my skin begins to shine and if I
use too little then my skin dries. What
should I do?
Ideally the moisturising should
change with the season. Winter
needs heavier moisturisers but in
summer you need something that is
light yet provides moisture. Use
water-based products and during the
day just use a water spritzer to
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
replenish the loss of moisture. When
your skin shines you can blot the
excess on tissue or the special
blotting paper some companies have
begun to sell in India which is for
single use but effective.
If I do not want to wear matching nail
polish on my hands and feet, what
rule should I follow? I do not have the
time to change both regularly so want
to mix and match. What are the rules
for that?
Changing nail polish regularly is
difficult to maintain so you can leave
the toenails with a base colour like a
beige or very light pink that matches
everything. Then you can play
around with the colour on your
hands.
Also, you could use light nail
colour first and then coat it with a
darker shade in a day or so without
removing the earlier one though that
does mean that polish will chip
sooner.
However much care I take of my skin
in summer, I do get a tan and the
worst is my hair, it becomes oily but
brittle, I really do not know what to
do.
Taking care of skin and hair during
extreme heat and cold is a balance of
right products and protection against
the sun. There are sun control for
skin and hair (UV block) which needs
to be used to minimise sun damage.
Also use leave-in conditioner for hair
and cover the hair when out in the
sun. Make fruit packs for face and
hair and apply for half an hour each
before washing off and use a good
quality moisturiser.
41
Any trendy
woman in this
hairdo will be at
her best in this
simple and

Enticingly
seductive look!

Curly
 Wavy look

Simplistic & curly

Modernistic

If you step out with an elegantly

Traditional dressed – up, hair you cannot
fail to attract all those who
matter. Try these hairstyles and
see the effect.

Unusual &
inventive
CAVINKARE ABILITY
AWARD 2009
7
CavinKare Ability
Awards are given
to people who
shine in different
fields despite
their
disabilities.
By Vanathi Siva
he seventh CavinKare Ability
T
award 2009 ceremony was
organised in Chennai at the
Sir Muthu Venkata Subba
Rao concert hall (inside Lady
Andal School campus) on
14th March 09. The grand
colourful presentation
function was jointly
organised by CavinKare and
the Ability Foundation for disabled.
The media partners are Woman’s
Era, Dainik Bhaskar, Ernst & Young,
The Hindu, Big 92.07 FM, Vijay TV
and Grihshobha.
Ability Foundation is a national
cross-disability umbrella organisation,
headquartered in Chennai involved
in advocacy, empowerment and the
rights of persons with disabilities. The
foundation acts as a bridge between
people with and without disabilities
and is involved in a spectrum of
activities towards this, which include
publishing, employment, media,
culture, legislation and human rights.
44
th
CavinKare is an FMCG major that
markets quality hair care, skin care,
home care and food products both
nationally and internationally.
The CavinKare Ability award is
given to the disabled persons with
extraordinary ability which the able
could not achieve in their lifetime.
Awardees were selected from all over
the country for their great ability. It is
awarded to four persons in two
categories, the CavinKare Ability
Award for eminence carries a one
lakh-rupee prize money and the
CavinKare Ability Mastery Awards
also carry a one lakh-rupee prize
money each.
THE WINNERS
The winners of the CavinKare
Ability Award for eminence, Javed
Ahmed Tak from Jammu and
Kashmir, who was maimed by a
militant attack, spearheaded a
movement for peace and
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
rehabilitation in a strife–torn town. He
used the media to create awareness
and satisfaction programmes on
disability, and has established an
organisation that caters to the needs
of people with all disabilities.
Tak said the policy makers must
strive to create a barrier-free
environment, and the people must
lend their support for creating
sustain able livelihoods for persons
with disability rather than providing
them with financial support.
The CavinKare Ability Mastery
Awards were presented to
Nityananda Das from Bhubaneswar,
Rajiv Rajan from Chennai and Sai
Prasad Vishwanathan from
Hyderabad. Das, a person with
physical disability, became a
professional dancer with only one leg
and has also started a dance school,
Kalashram, in his own city.
Rajan, a person with cerebral
palsy, works for the cause of the
downtrodden through ‘Vidya Sagar’
a non-governmental organisation “It services of the CavinKare and Ability Ranganathan and Jayashree for the
feels great! I dedicate this award to Foundation. One of the guests of the grand success and appreciated that
all those who have been supporting function, Sundararajan praised C K the right people were selected. We
and encouraging me,” he said.
The last winner of the mastery
awards, Sai Prasad Viswanathan,
overcame his physical shortcomings
and pursues master’s in computer
architecture and chip design at the
University of Wisconsin, USA. “This
award is dedicated to my parents,
sister and relatives. There are
thousands of such talents in the city
who are waiting for the right
opportunity to prove themselves”, he
said.
The award winners were judged
by the jury consisting of former
Chairperson, National Commission
for Women V Mohini Giri, N Murali,
managing director, The Hindu ,
actress Revathi, director Radha
Mohan and music director A R
Rahman.
Of the 200 nominations from 21
states received for the award, 12
were shortlisted and seven finally
won various awards.
“All of us think we have a problem.
We complain how we are fat or thin,
or fair or dark. But there is a lesson
for us all to learn from persons with
disabilities.” This was A R Rahman, a
member of the jury, addressing press
persons after meeting the 12 persons
with disabilities shortlisted for the
CavinKare Ability award.
At this function, the feast to the
eyes was the fashion show with a
difference, the previous year’s award
winners walked the ramp along with
the beautiful models. The guests on
the dias were N Ram chief editor The
Hindu, V Krishnamurthy, chairman of
the National Manufacturing Competi-
tiveness Council and M S Sundara
Rajan, Indian Bank chairman.
R J Dhina, the Guinnes World
Record holder, for hosting 168 hours
on Radio compared the function
along with Revathi Vijaya, with Latha
translating in sign language.
The main pillars behind this award
function were C K Ranganathan,
CavinKare, and Jayashree Raveen-
dran, executive director of Ability
Foundation.
Guests and jury praised the noble

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 45


Strawberry rosemary pulao
PALATABLE
STRAWBERRY
ROSEMARY
PULAO
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups of long grained
rice
1 tbsp of ghee or butter
2 tsp of rosemary – fresh or
powder
12-14 fresh strawberries
salt to taste
METHOD
Soak the rice in water for one
hour. Drain out all the excess
water and keep aside. Chop 2-3
of the strawberries into small
pieces and cut the remaining into
halves.
Heat the ghee or butter in a
pan and fry the rice on medium
heat for 2-3 minutes, mixing the
oregano after frying it for 1
minute. Lower the heat and add
4 cups of water and salt to taste.
Cover with a lid and cook the rice
on low heat till all the water is
evaporated and the rice is
cooked. Put off the heat and mix
in the cut strawberry pieces.
46
Here is shown the
method to cook
some finger-licking
dishes.
By Roma Ghosh
preparations
rice (salt and ghee added while
cooking)
1/ cup of mixed vegetables
2
like beans, carrots and
peas
2 tsp of oil
1/ tsp of jeera powder
4
1/ tsp of red chilli powder
4
For garnishing:
chopped celery leaves
METHOD
Wash the baigan and pat-dry
Stuffed brinjal with rice and celery
completely. Cut into two halves
Remove to a serving plate and
vertically. Sprinkle salt over the
decorate with the half
two pieces and keep aside for 5
strawberries and serve.
minutes. In the meantime heat
enough oil for deep frying the
brinjals. Once the oil is hot, fry
STUFFED one piece of brinjal at a time,
turning very carefully. Fry both
BRINJAL WITH sides of the brinjal pieces till
RICE AND cooked from the inside. Fry both
the pieces in this way and allow
CELERY the fried brinjal to cool to room
temperature. With the tip of a
INGREDIENTS: sharp knife remove the pulp from
1 large brinjal – baigan each of the brinjal pieces so as to
oil for deep frying the baigan have a depression for the filling.
salt to taste To prepare the filling: Heat
For the filling: the oil and saute the vegetables
11/2 cups of cooked long-grained adding salt to taste. Lower the
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
heat and cover with a lid for two
minutes. Mix in the rice and the
spices and stir-fry for a further 2
minutes. Remove and use this
filling to fill the scooped out fried
brinjal pieces.
Now place the stuffed brinjal in
a preheated oven only for 3-5
minutes so that the brinjal is just
heated up. Garnish with celery
leaves and serve. Alternately you
could heat the brinjal in a non-
stick pan covering with a lid on
high heat only for 2 minutes.
RICE SALAD
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup of long-grained rice
(salt added while cooking)
1/ cup of mixed sprouts
2 serve at once. You could top with
1/ cup of spring onions – white
2 a few walnut pieces if you so like.
and green portion, cut into thin
strips
1 apple cut into strips – without
removing the peel
1 cucumber – cut into long strips
– without removing the peel
1/ radish – scrapped and cut
2
into long strips
For the dressing:
1 tbsp of vinegar
2 tsp of lemon juice
2 tbsp of olive oil
1 tbsp of sugar syrup
2 tsp of coarsely ground red
chilli flakes
For serving:
lettuce leaves
For garnishing:
walnut pieces - optional
METHOD
Mix all the ingredients for the
salad in a small bowl and keep
aside. Place the lettuce leaves on
a serving plate or a salad bowl.
Place the cooked rice, sprouts,
spring onions, apple strips,
cucumber and radish on the
lettuce leave. Keep the salad
ready and you could keep it in the
fridge. Just before serving pour
the dress over the salad and toss
gently with wooden spoon and
CHICKEN
BIRYANI
INGREDIENTS:
1 kg chicken – cut into medium
pieces
1 cup of fried onions
2 cups of rice
4-5 strands of saffron mixed in 4
Rice salad
Chicken biryani
tsp of lukewarm milk
3 tsp of lemon juice
salt to taste
For the marinade:
3 tbsp of dahi
3 tsp of ginger-garlic paste
2 tsp of garam masala
3 tsp of oil
salt to taste
METHOD
Mix the ingredients for the
marinade and marinate the
chicken pieces with this and keep
aside for at least 4 hours. After
four hours add the fried onions
and keep aside for another 1
hour. Soak the rice in water for 1
hour.
Cook the rice in salted water till
only half tender. Remove from fire
and keep aside.
To assemble the biryani:
Take a pan with a lid which is big
enough to fit the rice and the meat
and enough space for the rice to
swell. Place the marinated
chicken at the bottom of the pan
with all the marinate. Spread the
half cooked rice over the chicken.
Make insertions in the rice layers
and pour the saffron mixture and
the lemon juice so that these
reach the bottom layer. Cover
with a lid. Seal the rim of the lid
with chapatti dough so that no
steam can escape. Place the pan
over low heat and cook for at
least 20 minutes or until the rice is
tender but not overcooked. Serve
piping hot. We
Courtesy: India Gate Basmati Rice
New Delhi. Ph: 011-26548400

Try these sugar-coated and lip-smacking desserts.
MALAYALI
YOGHURT
INGREDIENTS:
200 gm condensed milk
11/2 cup curd made from full
cream milk
1/ cup cream
2
1/ tsp cinnamon powder
2
1/ tsp cardamom powder
2
2 tbsp roasted and crushed
almonds and hazel nuts
2 tbsp raisins
METHOD
Tie the curd in a muslin
cloth and hang it in a cool
place to drain out the water.
Add the condensed milk,
cinnamon and cardamom
powder and mix well. Also,
add half of the nuts.
Malayali Yoghurt
48
SUMMER
delicacies
By Savita Bhargava
Cover the bowl with aluminium
foil and steam for about 15-20
continuously. Mix in the sugar.
Mix in the cardamom and the
minutes.
Cool. Serve garnished with
mango pulp when cool. Serve
cold garnished with almonds,
remaining nuts and raisins chilled. pistachios and saffron.
MANGO RABRI MARBLE
INGREDIENTS:
500 ml full-cream milk
STRAWBERRY
1/
1/
cup sugar or to taste
2 YOGHURT
4 tsp cutie acid INGREDIENTS:
1 kg thick curd made from
Mango rabri full-cream milk
4 tbsp castor sugar or to
taste
6 tbsp mixed fruit or
strawberry jam
1/ -1 tsp cardamom powder
2
cake sprinkles
For garnishing:
fresh strawberries
METHOD
Put the curd in a muslin
cloth and hang it in a cool
1/ place for 6-8 hours to drain
2 cup mango pulp
1/
out the water.
2tsp cardamom powder Mix in the castor sugar and
few saffron threads cardamom powder.
1 tsp finely cut almonds and Chill and put a portion in small
pistachios bowls.
METHOD Fold in a tsp of the jam to give
Boil milk in a vessel and keep it a marbled effect.
on simmer till half. Garnish with cake sprinkles
Add the citric acid and stir and serve.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
 it cool. Mix the cream with the
custard and divide into 3 parts.
To one part add the mango
pulp and heat in a mixer. Pour
into an ice-cream tin and keep in
the freezer to set.
Beat the second part also in
the mixer and pour over the set
custard. To the third part heat in
the jelly and pour over the
second layer.
Marble strawberry yoghurt Again keep it to set. Arabian ice cream
Garnish with cake fruit and
chocolate sauce and serve
SATRANGI ICE serve.
garnished with the silver balls.
CREAM
INGREDIENTS: FROZEN
600 ml full-cream milk
YOGHURT ARABIAN ICE
51/2 tsp custard powder
12 tsp sugar INGREDIENTS:
CREAM
1 cup cream 300 gm full-cream yoghurt INGREDIENTS:
1 alphanso or sarauli mango 15-20 gm sugar 500 ml full-cream milk
1/ cup strawberry jelly (castor or powdered) 1/ cup chopped dates
2 4
chocolate sauce sugar to taste
For garnishing:
silver balls For garnishing:
cake fruit
silver balls
METHOD
In a cup of milk, mix the For date pie:
custard powder and the 125 gm dates (chopped)
sugar. 1/ cup sugar
2
Boil the remaining 1 cup water
milk and add the 1/ tsp salt
2
custard powder 1/ cup oil
4
mixture to it, stirring 3/ tsp cinnamon powder
4
continuously so that no a pinch of clone powder
lumps are formed.
Remove from fire and let METHOD
Satrangi ice cream
Mix the above ingredients in a
sauce pan, boil-simmer for a few
Frozen yoghurt minutes and cool.
Now mix in 1 cup maida and 1
For garnishing: tsp soda.
100 ml thick cream Spread in an ungreased dish
METHOD and bake till done.
Whip the yoghurt For the ice cream: In a pan boil
with the sugar and fold the milk, add the dates and
in the cream. Put in the simmer till 1/3rd.
freezer to set. When Add the sugar and remove
half set whip again and from the fire.
then freeze again till it Cool, pour in a rice tray and
becomes solid. freeze. Serve with the date
Drizzle liberally with pie.

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 49

 Choco hazel delight
CHOCO HAZEL
DELIGHT
INGREDIENTS:
300 gm condensed milk
11/2 cup full-cream milk (cold)
11/2 cup cream
1 tsp vanilla essence
4 tbsp crushed hazel nuts
4 tbsp choco chips
4-6 chocolate bars (small)
METHOD
Combine condensed milk, milk
and vanilla essence in a bowl.
Whip the cream lightly and fold
into the above mixture.
Pour the mixture in a freezing
tray and freeze till half set.
Remove from the freezer and
2-3 drops rose colour
gulkand (candied pink rose
petals)
For garnishing:
finely cut pistachios
METHOD
Boil milk in a vessel and
keep on simmer till about 1/3.
Remove from fire and mix in
the khoya and condensed milk.
Add sugar to taste and keep
Nougat Surprise
the mixture to cool. When cool
mix in the colour and essence.
Place a little gulkand in each of METHOD
the kulfi mould and pour the milk Heat the sugar in a pan with a
mixture on top. Keep to set in the little
the
water and caramelise. Add
crushed dry fruits and mix
freezer. Imerse in a pretty serving
well. Spread on a greased tray.
dish. Garnish with finely cut
When cool, remove and crush. In
pistachios and serve.
a little milk, mix the custard
powder and the sugar.
Boil the remaining milk and add
NOUGAT the custard powder mixture to it,
SURPRISE stirring continuously so that no
lumps are formed. Remove from
INGREDIENTS: fire and let it cool. Mix in the
250 ml full-cream milk cream.
1/ cup cream
2 Add a little crushed nougat and
6 tsp sugar freeze. Serve garnished with
4 tsp custard powder (preferably remaining crushed nougat and
vanilla flavour) cake sprinkles.
For nougat:
1/ cup roasted and crushed

ENGLISH
2
press in small chocolate bars into almonds and hazel nuts
the half set ice cream. In between
press in the crushed hazel nuts
1 cup sugar
For garnishing:
PINEAPPLE
and chocolate chips.
Freeze until firm. Cut into cake fruit or cake sprinkles PUDDING
portions and serve. INGREDIENTS:
8 marie biscuits
1 tbsp unsalted butter

GULABO 2 pineapple slices

50 gm orange jelly
KULFI 1/ cup fresh cream
2
1/ cup powdered sugar
INGREDIENTS: 4
1 tbsp tang powder
1 lt. full-cream milk
1/ cup grated or 2 oranges
2
mashed khoya For garnishing:
1/ cup condensed milk cake fruit and sprinkles
2
sugar to taste METHOD
2-3 drops rose essence Gulabo kulfi Chop the pineapple slices

50 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 and let it cool to room
temperature.
In a food processor, combine
the pineapple and banana until
almost smooth. Add the lemon
and orange juices and process
until smooth.
Pour the mixture into a large
bowl. Stir in the sugar syrup.
Freeze. Before serving let it stand
at room temperature for 10-15
minutes to soften slightly.

KHUS ICE-BERG
English pineapple pudding LEMONADE
finely. Heat water in a vessel and 2 cups water INGREDIENTS:
dissolve the orange jelly in it. 5 cups fresh pineapple pieces 1 cup khus syrup
Separate the orange segments. 2 cups banana chopped 1 cup water
Beat the cream with the sugar 1/ cup fresh lemon lemon squash
4
until thick. Put the vessel juice METHOD
containing the jelly mixture in a 1/ cup fresh
4 Mix the khus syrup and water
larger vessel filled with ice cubes orange juice and set in an ice-cream tray,
and go on stirring. Add the cream METHOD so we get khus ice-cubes.
and mix well. Also mix in the In a saucepan stir together the Make lemonade with
pineapple pieces, orange sugar and water over medium the lemon squash in
segments and tang powder. heat until the sugar is completely
Crumble the marie biscuits, Khus ice-berg lemonade
dissolved. Remove from the heat
and mix with the unsalted butter.
Spread the mixture in a serving Pine apple banana smoothie
dish and press firmly with your
fingers. Spread a little cream
sugar mixture on top. Keep the
jelly mixture to set in a jelly
mould in the freezer
compartment of the
refrigerator. Just before
serving, unmould the jelly
mixture on the marie biscuit
layer. Garnish with cake fruit
and cake sprinkles. Serve
chilled.

PINE APPLE
BANANA
SMOOTHIE
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups sugar

0 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 51


Orange delight
individual glasses with chilled
water. Add the khus ice cubes
and serve. To make the glasses
more appealing, dip the rim of the
glasses first in water and then in
castor sugar. Then use them to
serve your cold drink.
ORANGE
DELIGHT
INGREDIENTS:
400 ml milk (full cream)
Angoori sharbat
52
400 ml cream
11/2 cup milk powder ANGOORI
1/ cup sugar
2
(powdered)
SHARBAT
1/ cup orange squash INGREDIENTS:
2
orange colour as 200 gm black grapes
required 100 ml orange juice
orange essence as 100 gm apple (finely chopped)
required salt to taste
cumin powder to taste
For garnishing:
peeled orange segments METHOD
Roast 1-2 tbsp of cumin seeds.
METHOD Cool and powder in a grinder.
Blend all the ingredients in a Blend the fruits in a liquidiser,
blender. Set the freezer control at with a little water. Strain through a
the highest point some time in sieve. Add the orange juice and
advance. water to get the desired
Pour the mixture into ice trays consistency. Add the salt and
and keep in the freezer. cumin powder. Chill and serve.
Remove when half set, and
heat with a fork. Put to set again.
Serve garnished with orange
segments. CARROT
Carrot pumpkin sundae
PUMPKIN
SUNDAE
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup full-cream milk
1 cup cream
1/ cup milk powder
2
1/ cup castor sugar
4
1/ tsp vanilla essence
2
1/ cup grated candied petha
2
(white pumpkin)
1 cup grated carrots
sugar
METHOD
Blend all the ingredients except
the grated vegetables and sugar,
in a blender. Set the freezer
control at the highest point some
time in advance. Cook the grated
carrots with the sugar and keep
aside.
You can spread the candid
vegetables at the bottom of the
ice cream tin or use it to garnish
while serving. The ice cream can
be set in a lage ice cream tin or
small moulds. Freeze and serve
as desired. We
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
 QA &
intercourse she is no longer a virgin
as the male has to rupture her hymen
to enter the vagina. As for your
second question, it is highly unlikely
that you will get pregnant during your
periods.
This is because only one egg is
released during a menstrual cycle
and that is mid-cycle, around the
fourteenth day.
I am a 34-year-old woman pregnant
for the first time. Around the fourth
minimised. Quite often, the
amniocentesis result is normal and
we can then overlook the triple test
report. On the other hand if it
confirms the triple test finding, you
may be offered the option of aborting
a child with congenital defects.
I am 26 years old and have a male
child aged five. I became pregnant
again in mid-2008 but as the baby
was abnormal it was aborted in
August 2008. Now I am planning for

Q&
I am a 25-year-old married woman
living in Dubai with my husband. This
is my first pregnancy and I am in the
seventh month. My worry is that we
are still having sexual intercourse as
my husband wants it everyday but he
restricts himself to positions
recommended by the gynaecologist.
He is crazy for sex. My breasts have
grown very big and he wants to suck
them all the time. Will daily sex and
sucking of breast cause problems?
There is no harm in having a
regular sex life if a healthy woman is
carrying a healthy pregnancy,
especially in positions advised by the
gynaecologist. However, I would
advise moderation in everything
during pregnancy, especially on
month the doctor got a triple test
done which was positive for Down’s
Syndrome. She now wants me to get
an amniocentesis done which
involves poking a needle in my
tummy! Please explain what this is
all about as I am frightened out of my
wits.
Down’s Syndrome is a congenital
form of mental retardation that
usually afflicts babies of older women
though, younger women are not
immune. The triple test is a broad
screening method that gives but a
warning regarding the presence or
absence of the above diseases. To
make a confirmatory diagnosis an
invasive test called amniocentesis is
required.
This involves inserting a needle in
the uterus to withdraw a certain
amount of amniotic fluid which is then
another child and would like to know,
how soon after sex can pregnancy
be confirmed.
Can it be done with the pregnancy
kit available in the market? I do not
want to wait for a month to learn of
this for I want to be very careful this
time.
As there is a lot of work to be
done at home and all the chores
have to be performed by me, I can
begin taking rest earlier if the
pregnancy is confirmed earlier.
You cannot learn whether you
have conceived or not soon after sex
but you can learn whether you are
pregnant or not even before you miss
your periods by a blood test that a
gynaecologist has to prescribe.
This will serve no useful purpose
in your case, for you do not suffer
from repeated abortions. You had an

A
issues pertaining to sex.
Also, woman with a history of
obstetric complications are advised
to restrain from sex during
pregnancy. Sucking of breasts or any
other form of nipple stimulation, like
manual manipulation, can lead to
preterm labour, especially in women
who have a tendency to do so.
I am a 21-year-old virgin. My periods
last for seven days and come every
month. This time I had sex with my
fiancé on the fourth day of my period
and he released his sperm in my
vagina. Now two things are worrying
me. Firstly, am I a virgin or not?
Secondly, is there any chance of my
getting pregnant during my menstrual
cycle?
Once a woman has vaginal
tested to reach a definitive diagnosis. induced abortion to get rid of an
It is not as scary as you think, for the abnormal pregnancy.
local anaesthesia does not allow you For this you need proper
to feel any sort of pain and as it is surveillance during early pregnancy
done under ultrasound guidance the to confirm whether this pregnancy is
chances of injury to the baby are normal or not.
I am five months pregnant with my first child. Please tell
me what is the best position to sleep in.
Try not to sleep on your back from the beginning of the
fifth month onwards. This is because the growing uterus
presses upon the big blood vessels that lie immediately
behind it, leading to breathlessness and fainting attacks
at times. It also inhibits digestion.
Sleeping on the side, especially the left side increases
the flow to the placenta thereby increasing the transfer of
oxygen and nutrients to the baby optimising its growth. It
also enhances the flow of blood to the kidneys which leads to better
elimination of waste products.
– Dr A. K. Bajaj, MD.

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 53

 East
Meets
West Unique
eastern style:
The enticing
ghaghra and
These eye-catching ensemble of kameez has
an attractive
conventional and modern dupatta to
complement
apparels are designed to enhance your charm.
your beauty to classic levels, not
letting your companion to take his
eyes off you.
Touch of the West:
This charming belle
looks ravishingly
beautiful in this frock.
 Arresting gait:
In this modern
outfit the lady
appears to send
an invitation to
enchantment.

What more to
desire: This
classic
occidental dress
is meant to
draw your loved
one closer.
Encircling attire:
Isn't the girl
ready to take off
in this tempting
apparel?
A class of their
own: The lady
gets a serene
and sedate
appearance in
this out-of-the
ordinary dress.

Matchless charm:
Doesn't she simply
present an
incredible look in
this colourful attire?
Bold is beautiful:
This western
outfit gives you
the confidence to
face any modern
gathering.
 Unconventional
look: The
trouser
Ultra-modern: alongwith the
This non-traditional wide-cut top
dress makes the lady makes the girl
irresistibly attractive. an object of
The hairdo tells a attention.
new tale.
Graceful: A dreamy attire:
The lady in The trouser
this modern matched with the
dress revealing top
appears all alongwith the
set to go for handbag marks
the kill. her out as
someone special.
 The Paying Guest
The poor young girl’s innocence became her undoing.
By Dr Gayathri N. M.

F
ourteen-year-old Mutthu was glad to see that
the “To Let” board no longer adorned the wall
in her master’s house. It meant that a new
paying guest had arrived. Her master had
furnished a room in the first floor of his house
with all facilities with the idea to rent it out. He
and his family lived in the ground floor. Since
medical and engineering colleges were nearby, he
earned a good income from the room.
Mutthu, a slum dweller, worked as a maid in the
master’s house. Her responsibility was to keep the
house spotless by sweeping and dusting it. If the
room was occupied, the duty of cleaning
that room too fell on Mutthu. While, the
wages Mutthu earned went directly to her
father, the paying guests usually tipped her
generously at the end of the month. It was
this that made Mutthu happy.
Mutthu had been working in her
master’s house for four years. She rarely
spoke to others and earnestly did the work
she was assigned. Even the paying guests
who occupied the room seldom spoke to
her.
However, this time, a young and
handsome fellow had taken the room. The
very next day, he smiled at Mutthu. When
she was coming out of his room after her
work, he asked her name. After a week,
he enquired, “Where is your house?”
“Can you see the line of houses over there? The
house in the middle is ours.”
“How many of you stay in your house.”
“Only my grandmother and myself.”
“Oh, your parents?”
“They work in a big bazaar far away. They are
labourers. They come home once a week.”
“Are you not scared?”
“No, we have houses in the neighbourhood.
There are people.”
“Did you not attend school at all?”
“I did, up to the 5th standard.”
“Then?”
“My father said there was no money to send me
to school. He put me here with my grandma and got
me the job in the master’s house.”
For the first time a paying guest had enquired
about Mutthu. After that, a few words with him
whenever she came to work filled her with
happiness.
One day, she wanted to know his name. “Master,
what is your name?”
“Mutthu, call me as you are doing now
Mutthu had – master.”
been working in “How can I? I address the owner of this
her master’s house also ‘master’.”
house for four “Okay, he is your big master. I am your
years. She rarely little master.”
Thus, he became ‘little master’ to
spoke to others
Mutthu.
and earnestly
One day she asked, “Little master, what
did the work she
are you studying?”
was assigned.
“Me? I am studying to be a doctor.”
Even the paying That day, he told her. “Mutthu, remove
guests who these dirty clothes and wear fresh ones.
occupied the Don’t you have other clothes?”
room seldom “No, little master, I don’t have any at
spoke to her. all. Once a year, my mother gets me old
clothes of others. Other than that where
can I get clothes?”
“What about your wages?”
“Every month my father comes and collects it from
the master.”
“Don’t you ask your father for new dresses?”
“Oh, no. He will kick me if I do that. Every single
paisa of my wages goes to his drinks.”
“Will you buy new clothes if I give you the
money?”
“If you give... I will.”
That day, he gave her a 100-rupee note. Mutthu

62 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

was delighted. She carefully folded it, kept it inside
her blouse and took it home.
SHORT

STORY
* * *
As usual, Mutthu came to work. She was running
a high temperature. She was trembling. Her eyes
were red and her face swollen. When she got ready
to leave, he asked, “Mutthu, why are you pale? Are
you not doing well?”
“No, little master. I have fever, My head is
aching.”
“Have you not taken any medicine?”
“No.”
“Come here.” He put his hand on Mutthu’s
forehead and felt it. It was hot.
“Why didn’t you tell me about it? Come, I’ll give
you medicine.”
He pulled a rack and took out a few tablets.
“Take two tablets three times a day. Just wait and
see. Your fever will vanish by tomorrow.”
The touch of the soft hands of the little master on

her forehead brought enormous relief to Mutthu. She

had never been to a doctor before in her life. When
she was going out, he called her again. “You don’t
take a bath every day, do you? Here, take this soap.
If you don’t bathe you will stink. Then you will
develop skin diseases. How can you come to work
then? Tomorrow have your bath before you come
here.”
The next day, Mutthu was at her workplace. Her
fever had come down.
He called her to check her. He felt her forehead
and neck. When he was about to remove his hands,
Mutthu put hers on his. The touch felt heavenly to
her. She was convinced that the reason for her
recovery was his touch rather than his tablets.
Giving some more tablets to her, he said,
“Okay, take two of these in the afternoon
and at night. That should be enough.
Mutthu, you need not sweep the room
today. Tomorrow you can do that. Go
home and take rest.”
Her admiration for him increased on
hearing his sympathetic words.

* * *
A small question arose in Mutthu’s
mind as her intimacy with her little master
grew. Her aged grandmother had
developed an eye problem. Whenever
she had to go out during the night, she
needed Mutthu’s help. Mutthu had to go
with her and forgo her sweet sleep.
 Mutthu decided to seek her little master’s help. work of her little master more and more. She was
“Little maser, may I ask you something?” interested in the fresh 100-rupee notes
“Of course you may.” he often gave her. One day, he bought a new skirt
“You are learning to become a doctor, aren’t and a blouse for her.When she came, he showed
you?” her the dress and said, “See what I have brought for
“Yes.” you? “Mutthu joyfully held the shining dress in her
“My granny cannot see properly. Can you give hand.
her some medicine for that? I’ll bring her here “Put on the dress.” Mutthu felt bashful.
tomorrow.” “Don’t feel shy. Go into that room and change.
Her question put him in a fix. Let’s see how you look.”
He had lied to Mutthu. He was in fact studying for While Mutthu was changing her dress, he
his diploma in engineering. Mutthu in her innocence suddenly entered the room and hugged her from
trusted him implicitly, especially after her bout of behind. Mutthu felt many things happen within
fever which he had cured. minutes. Slightly perspiring, she grabbed her dress,
“Why not?” he replied after a while. “Wait for a put it on hastily and wiped her face.
few days. I’ll come to your house. Your granny need “I’m sorry, really sorry” he consoled caressing her
not walk so far. I am a bit busy now with my exams. all over. “Take this ...he gave her two more 100-
Afterwards, I’ll treat her.” His assurance satisfied rupee notes.
Mutthu.
One day, she came to his room * * *
wearing a new dress bought with the He called her Mutthu began to suspect the change in
money he had given. to check her. her body after a few months. She felt she
“Little master, look at my dress. I bought He felt her was growing plump because her dress had
it with the money you gave. Is it nice?” forehead and become tight. She told her little master
“Of course. But you need one more neck. When he about it. He examined her and said, “You
change. Do you brush your teeth?” was about to have become more beautiful, that’s all. It
“No.” remove his happens when you are contented.” Are
“Look, if you brush your teeth, apply hands, you not happy now?”
powder and wear a bindi on your Mutthu put “I am.”
forehead... you will look just like hers on his. “Hasn’t your financial worry lessened?”
Aishwarya Rai. Do you know her?” The touch “Yes.”
She had known about her through the felt heavenly “That’s why this change.”
poster. “Will I look like her?” to her. “Then... this stomach?”
“Of course. Here, take this money. “It’s because of something like
Dress up neatly tomorrow and come.” acidity. I shall get you some tablets
Next day when she arrived, even he was tomorrow.”
dressed neatly. He had shaved his beard. He took Next day he gave her one tablet and said, “You
the well-dressed Mutthu to the mirror and said, might feel a little tired. Take two or three days’ rest.
“Look.” You can come to work after that.”
Mutthu did not have such a big mirror at home.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she felt that whatever * * *
he had said was true. Little master’s tablet wreaked havoc in Mutthu.
“Didn’t I tell you?” he said. He turned her face Just as he had said, pain besieged her the whole
towards him and kissed her. Though startled, Mutthu night. At last, just as she felt her whole energy
did not want to free herself. His moustache tickled draining away completely, she felt wetness in her
her. “Mutthu, do you know the meaning of your inner clothes. Feeling terribly frightened, she
name? This is it.” He held her tightly and kissed removed her bloodstained clothes and washed them
again. Mutthu was slightly frightened. When they before sunrise. She could not get up from her bed
came out of the room, he said, “Don’t tell anyone for the next few days. She lied to her grandmother
about this. You will come tomorrow, won’t you?” and pulled on for three days.
He thrust two 100-rupee notes into her palms. She felt slightly better on the fourth day. She
Mutthu went out nodding her head with a smile on remembered her work, her little master and the fact
her face. that she should tell him about her ordeal. When she
came to her master’s house, she was stunned by
* * * what she saw. “To Let.” The board was back on the
As the days went by, Mutthu began to relish the wall once again. We

64 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 QA &
I am a 23-year-old woman software
engineer in a good job with a multi-
national. A male college mate and
good friend of mine also works in the
same company. When we were in
college together, we foolishly
experimented with drugs, but while I
soon realised how foolish I was
being and gave it up, my friend did
not. He is now fully addicted, though
he manages to continue with his
work.
Recently I spoke seriously to him
about his addiction and advised him
to undergo de-addiction treatment.
To my shock he told me that I was
the cause of his problem. He said
that he had been in love with me ever
since we had met in college and that
he had taken to drugs because he
had realised that I did not love him.
I am very fond of this friend.
Should I say that I love him just to
get him to quit drugs?
You can tell your friend that you
love him, but how far are you ready
to take the matter? Are you ready to
marry him and spend your life with
him? And anyway, will you be able
to convince him of your love?
Addicts often give excuses for
their addiction – excuses that aren’t
really true.
Your friend has given the excuse
that disappointment in love made him
an addict, but the fact remains that
he never told you that he loved you
or tried to win your love when you
Q
A good friend of mine has been
borrowing money from me for over
two years. This is because I got a
good job right after we both left
college, while he remained
unemployed till recently. However,
he managed to get a job in a good
company three months ago.
In these three months he has not
once mentioned the money that he
owes me, though whenever he
borrowed from me, he always said
that he’d return it as soon as he
could. I am embarrassed to bring
the matter up, but I’d like my money
back. What should I do?
How good a friend is this man
and how important is his friendship
to you? Also, how large is the
were in college. So his excuse isn’t
really believable.
Unless he is cured of his
addiction, your friend will find another
excuse to go back to drugs even if
you accept his love. You will do him a
lot more good if you tell him that
you’ll always be his friend and you
then see that he goes in for de-
addiction treatment and rehabilitation.
If he does not agree to undergo this
treatment, you should tell his family
about his problem.
I am a 22-year-old working woman
and my problem is that I need sex on
a regular basis. I began masturbating
when I attained puberty, but dis -
covered the pleasures of sex with a
partner when I joined college.
In the last four years I have had
sex with three partners. Of them, the
first and I fell in love and then had
sex. After that man finished his
course and left college, I was
heartbroken because he had not
asked me to marry him. I then had
sex on a strictly mutual necessity
basis with two other men.
Last month my first lover phoned
me and asked me to come and
spend the weekend with him. He is
now working in another city, but I
rushed there and we had a
memorable weekend together,
getting out of bed only when
absolutely unavoidable.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
amount he has borrowed and do
you need the money badly? If his
friendship means a lot to you and
you can afford it, you could think of
writing off the debt or at least waiting
a bit longer to see if he brings up
the question of repayment on his
own. After all, he may have other
debts to repay after being
unemployed for so long and may
have thought that he could repay
you later because you are such a
good friend. But if you bring up the
matter, be matter of fact and hide
any embarrassment you may feel.
After all, he will be even more
embarrassed than you! Also be
accommodating and say that he can
repay the money in instalments.
I expected that man to ask me to
marry him before I left, but to my
shock, he just told me that I should
come again and saw me off. How can
I make that man realise that he
should marry me?
Why would that man want to
marry you? Except for children, you
give him all that he could want –
unlimited sex and affection – besides
being ready to run when he calls!
Besides, it does not appear that he
respects you. You should get married
because marriage will give you sex
as well as companionship in a
socially acceptable way. But do not
expect your first lover to marry you.
I am a 28-year-old married woman
with a two-year-old son. I have an
excellent job and recently got a
promotion and a big raise in salary.
My company has also given me good
accommodation and a car. My in-
laws and widowed sister-in-law stay
with us. I have very good relations
with them and they willingly help me
a lot in running the house and caring
for my son.
But my husband is always
nagging me to give up my job and be
a full-time homemaker. He says that
his parents need to be looked after.
I find this very strange because
we cannot hope to manage on his
salary alone. Besides, my in-laws are
not very old and are in excellent
65
 QA &
health. I earn more than double what
my husband earns and, if anyone
quits working to stay at home, it
should be him.
He was furious when I said this,
but I really can’t even think of
resigning from my job. How can I
make my husband understand all
this?
Not many Indian men would be
happy being house-husbands! They
think that this is against their
masculinity and that people will laugh
at them. So don’t tell your husband
that he should be the one to stop
working or dream of coming back to a
spic and span house with him
greeting you at the door with a smile
and a cup of hot coffee. Your
husband seems to be suffering from
an inferiority complex because you
are doing so much better than him.
Men always think of themselves
as responsible for bringing home the
bacon and when your husband sees
that he cannot, he must feel very
inadequate. So be very affectionate
in dealing with him. Tell him how
much you need him and how you
cannot manage without him. Avoid
talking about your work or telling him
about your successes. Be calm when
he again tells you about quitting your
job and explain to him that today
most families need two incomes.
Praise the help your in-laws are
giving you and tell him that you need
to consider giving up your job only
when they grow really old and
helpless and your sister-in-law
cannot manage things on her own.
My fiance is 31 and I am 29. Both of
us have financial responsibilities
towards our parents and we can’t
afford to get married for at least four
years more. But we are finding it very
Click
Yo u r P e r s o n a l A g o n y A u n t O n l i n e
66
difficult to remain apart. Since we are
both living abroad in Canada where
we have no relatives, we are
wondering why we should not live
together as man and wife till we go
back to India and get married.
Our colleagues and friends here
are surprised that we do not live
together when we are planning to
marry. They say that we are foolishly
wasting the best days of our lives.
Should we move in together?
Live-in relationships are common
in the Western world and young
people are entering into them in India
too. But what does a relationship of
this sort mean? All it really means
that you have all the pleasures of
marriage without commitment. It
means that you or your partner can
opt out of the relationship without a
moment’s hesitation, even if the other
doesn’t want this.
Of course, you and your boyfriend
are planning to get married, but
again, if you live together one of both
of you might not want to get married
later. After all, why should one
undertake responsibilities when one
can have all the fun without any
commitment? So be ready for one or
both of you not thinking it necessary
to get married even after four years.
And what if you should get
pregnant in the meantime? After all,
no method of contraception is 100%
foolproof. Think all this over and then
decide what to do.
I am 37 years old and have been
married seven years. My husband is
39. For the first five years of marriage
we were too busy having fun to want
to start a family. We both had good
jobs and were earning a lot of money.
Two years ago we decided to
have a baby and four months ago, I
Powered by
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
became pregnant. My pregnancy is
going fine, but my husband and both
our families, are talking and acting as
if it would be a great calamity if I
didn’t have a son. They are insisting
that I must have a scan to find out
the sex of the baby. I don’t know if
they will suggest that I abort the child
if it is a girl, but I am sure that they
will be disappointed and that they will
not love the baby.
I am stressed out which I am sure
is not good for the baby. What should
I do?
What can you do now? You are
pregnant and are going to have a
baby and whether it is a boy or girl
isn’t in your hands! Just tell yourself
this repeatedly and relax, As you
yourself know, being worried and
stressed out isn’t good for the child.
Using a scan to find out the sex
of a foetus is illegal in India. Remind
your family of this.
Today, many people want to have
daughters because they think that
girls are easier to bring up and that
they grow up to be more responsible
and caring towards parents and
siblings. But the desire to have a son
to carry on the family name is also
found not just in our culture but in
many across the globe. To that
extent the desire of your husband
and both your family and his, is
understandable. So be patient with
their eagerness, even if you don’t
share it.
As for your worry that they will not
love the baby if it turns out to be a
girl, just put it out of your mind. Once
the baby arrives, they will forget all
their earlier obsessions and adore
the little one. She will become the
centre of the world for your husband
and everyone else. So just forget all
your worries and enjoy your
pregnancy.
 QA &
Q&
I have been married for six years and
have two kids (four and two). My
husband has begun to complain that I
am not as attractive as I was when
we first met. He too has put on
weight and lost hair, but I don’t say
anything. Why is he being so
demanding?
It is a fact that most women, and
some men, tend to neglect their
bodies after marriage. Women have
the added disadvantage that after
bearing a child they lose youthful
muscle control.
However, you can remedy it all.
Your husband is definitely trying to
A
be honest, so might as well attempt
to achieve what he hopes. When he
sees you making an effort maybe he
will begin to pay attention to his own
health. If not, you can coax him to
join you after you have sensed the
feeling of success.
I have always dwelt in the past and
never enjoyed my current state of life.
I went to a spiritual session and was
taught meditation techniques. Now I
feel that while I am fine with what is
over, I have become very emotional
in my present life. How do I handle
this?
It is not always easy to
acknowledge or face your fears, so
you must acknowledge the wonderful
achievement you have managed.
Being emotional is not bad per se,
but it should not begin to hinder your
normal life. If you are doing
meditation regularly learn to focus
your thoughts and emotions by
breath control. Give it some time as
well and when you feel you must
shed a tear or two, do it privately and
you might feel better for it.
My husband cheated and confessed
after the girl was out of his life.
I never had any inkling and felt more
stupid than betrayed.
However, I decided my marriage
was important to be given a second
chance and now my friends taunt me
about it. I don’t like it, what do I do?
You have behaved sensibly in
I am a single parent
and wanted to be
liberal and friendly
with my daughters.
While my eldest
daughter was very
balanced my second
daughter who is now 15 has
boyfriend and she is getting
distracted from her studies. How
do I handle her as I don’t want to
curb her growth?
Puberty or transition from
childhood to adulthood can be
traumatic for growing kids. Every
child is special and different. Girls
who date before they are
psychologically and socially ready
for this change are often
obsessive about the boys
because they are unsure of
themselves.
You have to be a different and
more stern mother with your
younger daughter.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
deciding about the importance of
marriage to you. It is very easy to
break up but if every small excuse is
used for divorce, soon there will be
no married couples in the world.
You have to sternly tell your
friends that this taunting is not
acceptable to you and they have no
right to belittle your decision about
your marriage.
If they still persist, be prepared to
distance yourself for a while, they will
see your point of view in time to
come.
I got married two years
ago and my husband’s
younger brother was
very fond of me. He
recently confided in me
that he has just begun to
try some drugs and is
taking prescription
drugs as well because in his office
all youngsters enjoy that. What
should I do? While I do not want to
betray him, I don’t want him to ruin
his life.
You are absolutely right. You
have a responsibility and even if he
feels betrayed right now he will thank
you in times to come. Sometimes,
you have to be cruel to be kind and
take risks with loved ones in their
interest.
You need to talk to the young
man in detail and tell him that while
you appreciate his confiding in you
but you want him to take things in
control and stop it, even if it means
ostracisation by his colleagues. If he
does not pay heed you will have to
seriously consider speaking to your
husband about it.
MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...
This new column will tackle queries
related to family, social environment and
personality development.
Please address your queries to:
WOMAN'S ERA,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110055.
or log on to Womansera.com
67
SLAVE TO
DUST
ARE YOU A
?
If you resent spending
too much time on tedious
and repetitive house
cleaning, follow these tips
for reclaiming your life.
By Shailja Mehta
ou went to the mall last

Y
Saturday instead of
cleaning the toilets. You
bought shoes instead of
getting the mixer-grinder
fixed. Sounds familiar? Let’s
face it, ladies. It happens to
the best of us. The chores
pile up and the mess gets
out of control. Wouldn’t it be
nice to spend most of the weekend
relaxing rather than mopping the
floor? It’s okay! I’m here to tell you
that there is hope.
Housework doesn’t have to take
over your life. In fact, you can learn to
cut your housework in half. Follow
these simple steps and liberate
yourself from these bonds forever!

Reality check
Take a hard look at the weekly
tasks you do around the house. Are
they all really necessary? If you work
long hours during the week, and your
weekend entertaining is more or less
restricted to the living room or
kitchen, why not consider letting the
 WHO SAYS THE HOUSEWORK HAS TO BE
ALL YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY? IF YOU’VE
REDUCED YOUR CLEANING TASKS TO THE
BARE MINIMUM AND YOU’RE STILL
FEELING FRAZZLED AND RESENTFUL, IT’S
TIME TO CALL IN SOME HELP.

rest of the house slide for a week or
two? After all, you’re not at home
during the day, and your friends are
hardly about to embark on a
thorough, top-to-bottom inspection of
your apartment. You may be pushing
yourself to clean every corner and
crevice, when nobody really notices if
the floor in the house gets mopped
every second – or even third – day,
rather than on the stroke of 10 am
every day.
How else could you be
spending your time?
Take a minute to imagine in detail
what your fantasy weekend would
look like. How would you spend it?
Sleeping in, doing some leisurely
shopping on Saturday afternoon, may
be catching a movie or having friends
around for an afternoon tea and
ordering in some Chinese fast food
for the evening? In this kind of
relaxed atmosphere, no one will be
thinking of running their finger along
the mantelpiece checking for dust, or
getting down on the floor to inspect
the tiles for traces of dirt.
Once you have a clear picture of
what your Saturday or Sunday
afternoon could be like, it will be very,
very hard to justify getting out that
vacuum cleaner or rolling up your
sleeves to clean out the fridge.
Remind yourself of your priorities –
when it comes right down to it, would
you rather catch up with an old friend
you haven’t seen in months, or have
a scrubbed and sparkling toilet?
Can you enlist any help?
Who says the housework has to
be all your problem anyway? If
you’ve reduced your cleaning tasks
to the bare minimum and you’re still
feeling frazzled and resentful, it’s
time to call in some help. If you share
your place with anyone, there’s
simply no reason that you should be
doing all the menial tasks. Call a
family meeting, and delegate some
of the household jobs. Even if you
find it hard to give up control of this
area, just try it for two weeks. Sure,
there may be a few dust balls
remaining under the table, and the
kitchen sink may not be shining
brightly enough to see your reflection
in it, but these are minor issues if
they end up giving you two or three
hours of your weekend back.
If you can’t share the workload,
there’s one more option available:
pay someone else to help with
housework. Before you dismiss the
idea as too expensive, think for a
moment. How much can it really cost
to get someone?
Give this plan a chance, and you’ll
notice there are plenty of positives to
be found. You’ve just created a job
for someone who needs the work.
So, solve the cleaning problem,
and get ready to deal with having
whole chunks of time to devote to the
important things in your life. Now,
what are you going to do first?
Organise your house-cleaning
As you start developing simple
house-cleaning habits, you’ll notice
that your work will get easier and
easier. This set of tips will give you
some great ideas of good habits to
start.
Rinse your plate
This may be a small tip, but it can
help in big ways. If you simply make
it a habit to rinse your plate after
dinner and have all family members
do the same, it will make washing
them a lot easier. No one likes trying
to wash dried food off the
dishes.Tackle the small jobs.
Housework can be overwhelming.
Learn to break it down and tackle the
smaller jobs first. As you do, each job
will become easier. Also, if you clean
the small messes before they get big,
it’ll be a lot easier to clean up.
If you make it a habit to do a quick
pick up before going to bed, it’ll really
help. You’ll find that it’s easier to
wake up and feel good about the day
if even one room is clean. We

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 69

 hat do you do inside

W
your house the whole
day long? Don’t you
feel bored? You must
go out more often, you
know, and meet
people,” neighbours
say, looking at me in a
curious but kindly
fashion. I smile in reply

CONFESSIONS OF A
without offering an explanation. It is a
rhetorical question, of course, which
does not call for a reply. They only

READOMANIAC
want me to know that I am an old
misogynist.
Anyway, what do I tell them? That
I spend my time reading? That I am a
kind of “readoholic?” I may have
Welcome to the world invented a word but it does describe
me completely. Me and so many
of a compulsive reader! others like me, I suppose, are
irrevocably addicted to the
By Romola Shanbhag written word.
If there’s something
to read, I read it. I
feel a sort of deep
sense of duty to
do this. If someone has taken the
pains to write and print something,
surely we are obligated to award it a
little bit of our eyeball time? And this,
in a nutshell, is what keeps me
housebound most of the time!
Consider this. We get three news-
papers delivered on our doorstep
every day. While hubby simply
glances at the headlines and tosses
the papers away, I feel I must read
these from front page to last,
especially since we pay a fat bill for
these at the end of each month. And,
since one does not read old,
yesterday’s newspapers, I sit
surrounded by the sheets for hours
on end every morning, speed-reading
like a maniac.
COMPULSIVE READERS
And then, there are the magazines
we get from the local vending library.
The rule is that you cannot get one
unless you return the one you have.
So there I go, furiously reading some
periodical or other in the afternoon –
so that we manage to get the 30
magazines we are entitled to get
each month for the fee we pay.
And then, what about the British
Council Library and Sahitya Akademi
books on my bedside table? These
can be read a little more leisurely, no
doubt, but as it just won’t do to return
them after the due dates, every night,
my table lamp burns bravely late into
the night as I tackle the stack…
So, tell me, where do I find the
time to hobnob with the neighbours,
sip tea sitting in the warm winter sun
or snatch a siesta in the afternoons? I
hardly get time to cook and fold
clothes, leave alone idly chit-chat, I
tell you. Even when I watch my
favourite sitcoms and news channels
on TV, there is always a book or
newspaper on my lap which I read
during the commercial breaks.
In our home, you can be sure you
will always find some reading
material at arm’s length from you.
There are books, magazines and
newspapers lying on sofas and under
chairs, on bed rests and under
occasional tables, apart from those
spilling out of groaning shelves in
almost every room.
Married children in in her mouth. A book is
If there’s
different parts of the globe always propped up beside
exhort us to never dispose
something to her plate at mealtimes –
of their childhood read, I read it. even when there are
(“books”). We always want I feel a sort of guests at the table!
to keep them, mom. Sheer deep sense of One day, I was
nostalgia! Promise...we’ll duty to do this. surprised to see her
take them off your hands If someone has having breakfast without
one of these days, but till taken the the customary book or
then, hang on to them, will pains to write paper before her face —
you? (So the dog-eared but her eyes were avidly
and print
Enid Blytons, Nancy Drews reading the print of a large
and the Commando
something, cereal carton! According
comics stay…and so do surely we are to this worthy, to eat, just
hubby’s dusty technical obligated to eat – to concentrate on
tomes, long outdated, of award it a little the food one is shovelling
course, but still denied a bit of our into the mouth – is
decent retirement to the eyeball time? indecent and gross! Well,
kabadi man.) as they say, it takes all
But then I cannot blame them? kinds to make the world!
For, don’t I still have my cherished
favourites…the thick-paged Angela
Brazil schoolgirl books, the Sherlock A READING MANIAC
Holmes, the Scarlet Pimpernel A reading maniac uncle could not
series …all so dear to my heart – go to the loo without a newspaper or
companions in solitude, solace- book to read. All indignant
givers, entertainers par excellence! protestations from his family fell on
“I wish there were 36 hours in a deaf ears…till he was assigned a
day,” I often complain to my spouse.” separate newspaper to take
How else can I get to finish all that I wherever he wished! When he
have to read?” married, his indulgent bride installed
His usual reply to my usual query a dinky book shelf in the bathroom
is: “Selective reading, my dear, is the where he kept his loo reading
key. You don’t have to read material, which did not travel outside
everything , you know. Choose these precincts, of course, and no
…choose and read.” one touched!
To this, I respond cannily: “When As for me, my mother claims that
you take us out for a buffet lunch in a my reading habit has very early
5-star hotel, don’t you urge us to try origins. It seems I loudly spelt out the
out all the dishes? To eat as much words painted on shop boards, home
as we can?” nameplates and street signs when I
“That’s different,” he retorts huffily. was barely out of the cradle. “I should
We pay a hefty price for each have known then itself,” she says
person’s meal. We have to get our now, “that your nose would not be out
money’s worth.” of a book for the rest of your life!”
“That’s just what I am doing too,” I What, one may wonder, do I do if
state smugly. “I rest my case, Your I run out of anything to read. This
Honour.” His answer is simply a grunt rarely happens, so the question of
of disgust. my suffering cold turkey does not
I know, of course, that my reading arise. And then again, I am blessed
obsession is a little over the top, and with a memory like a sieve. I tend to
I must do something about it but this forget the plots of stories so rapidly
trait runs in the family, and I must that it is possible for me to re-read
have inherited it in my genes. There these again and again with
are quite a few readomaniacs on our undiminished pleasure. I forget, after
family tree. a while, who married whom at the
A cousin of mine cannot eat a end of some story, and who
mouthful without a printed word for murdered the woman in the library
her to follow as she puts a mouthful in a whodunit… We
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 71
 HOW DID
NAXALISM
COME TO AN END IN A
BLOCK OF BIHAR
Well-considered
developmental
initiatives and
rejuvenated social
reforms can
confront extremism
successfully.
By Dr Satish Kumar
and Vivek Raj
hulan Devi of Pandura village
J
under Sandesh Block was the
first woman Naxalite leader.
She canvassed for a Naxalite
candidate for the 2000
panchayat elections. Her
contribution was the most
crucial in electing a Maoist
mukhiya for the Pandura
Panchayat. But very soon the
same firebrand old lady turned
against the Maoist forces. Jhulan
Devi said, “All Maoist leaders are
political thugs. They are worse than
any upper-caste feudals. They use
violence and murder for not bringing
social justice for their own vested
interests.”
Like Jhulan Devi, there are scores
of male and female activists who
used to be sympathisers and
promoters of naxalites but turned
against them. This turn has brought
72 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
?
fundamental changes in the block.
On the one hand, there is an
expansion of Naxal outfits in many
districts of Bihar. Nineteen out of 38
districts are Naxal-infested. The
succeeding years, have not only
witnessed a consolidation of
extremists in their strongholds, but a
further expansion into newer areas.
Apart from traditional strongholds in
Patna, Gaya, Aurangabad, Arwal,
Bhabhua, Rohtas and Jehanabad in
the south-western parts of the State,
there has been a spurt in extremism
in parts of North Bihar, bordering
Nepal including the West
Champaran, East Champaran,
Sheohar, Sitamarhi, Muzaffarpur,
Darbhanga and Madhubani districts.
The Naxalites have also extended
their areas of influence into
Shaharsha, Begusarai and Vaishali,
and areas along the border with Uttar
Pradesh. On the other hand, there is
a gradual erosion of Naxal
dominance from certain pockets of
Bihar.
Sandesh block is one of the
blocks of Bihar that has seen the
gradual elimination of Naxalites.
Sandesh comes under the Bhojpur
district. There are 11 panchayats
under the Sandesh block. It is very
informative and interesting to have
the grassroots’ view of the end of
Naxal dominance in certain
panchayats of Sandesh block. It is a
well-known fact that Naxalism in
Bihar had started from two blocks:
Sandesh and the adjoining Shahar.
The most important factor, which
proved to be instrumental in
dismantling the Naxal dominance
was the panchayat election which
was initiated in Bihar after 23 years,
held in 2000. Six panchayats had
Maoist mukhiyas under the 2000
panchayat election in the Sandesh
block. The second panchayat
election in Bihar was held in 2006. It
is very interesting to note that all six
Maoists mukhiyas were defeated in
the 2006 elections.
It was the first important signal of
the unpopularity of the Maoists in the
villages. It also created a
significant distance between
the Maoist leaders and the
community.
Maoists were exposed to
the poor people from whom
they remained cut off during
their tenure as mukhiya. All
malpractices were being
followed by them. They
minted money and used the power
for their own vested interests. That
revealed the real face of Maoist
leaders. Their calibrated plan of hate
against the upper castes got exposed
to the lower castes. Exposition of
Naxal tactics brought a social
cohesiveness among the different
castes. They came together to elect a
leader who could work for the
development of the villages.
THE MANDAL
REVOLUTION
Nevertheless, the Mandal
revolution in Bihar has resurrected
the image of backward castes,
especially the Yadavs in Bihar. The
Yadav is numerically the biggest
chunk in Bihar. The 15 years of Lalu
Raj has raised the economic and
political status of Yadavs. They
became economically rich and
politically powerful. With this change,
the Yadavs gradually withdrew
themselves from Maoist outfits. That
is a major blow to the extreme
leftists. The sense of peace and
development became the
predominant factor for the Scheduled
and Backward Castes.
The new government of
Bihar after 15 years of Lalu
raj , has done some
meaningful work which
addressed the key issues of
the poor people. It reposed
faith in the governance. The
law and order of the state
improved to a great extent.
State Auxiliary Police, a
brainchild of Bihar Chief
Minister Nitish Kumar, came
into existence with around
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
2,000 fully-trained ex-army men to
step up police operations against
organised crime and Naxalites. Now
the strength of SAP has gone up to
more than 5, 000.
The process of social cohesion
against the Maoists started in many
panchayats of the Sandesh block.
The spectre of naxal violence has
taught a lesson to the upper-caste
people. They started respecting the
lower castes and accommodating
them in any decision-making process
for the development of the villages.
This new outlook of the social order
pressurised the sympathisers or
supporters of Naxalites to mend their
ways or leave the villages.
Social pressure changed many
naxalites to switch over to farming
and shed all their associations with
the Naxal outfits. The process of
social change has reduced the
number of Naxalites from many
villages under the Sandesh block
dramatically. The hard-core Naxal
leaders left the villages. Gradually the
Sandesh block which has 11
panchayats, was cleansed of Naxal
violence. Now the doors in the
villages are not shut with the sunset.
People even move about in the night.
There are many other initiatives
that have been started by the State
Government to curb the naxal
violence. The Jehanabad district has
remained in the news for Naxal
violence for more than two decades.
But the recent initiative of the state
government under the Aasdwar
project in Jehanabad has eroded the
Naxal base to a large extent. The
scheme is currently under way in
five Naxalite-affected panchayats of
the district – Sikariya, Sewana,
Mandebigha, Surungpur- Bhawanichak
and Jamuk – all in the Jehanabad
Sadar block. All villages under these
five panchayats are witnessing a
flurry of developmental activities on a
war footing.
The people at large seem to have
embraced the state’s Aasdwar
programme in a big way. So this case
study of Sandesh amplifies the truth
that Naxalism can be defeated and
eliminated by the process of develop-
ment and a new social order. We
73
The lovely
little lass
strikes
different
poses in these
dresses of
varied designs
and fashion in
keeping with
her naughty
charm.

Contours
of expression

Look for me:

The stylish
dress and the
matching
Superbly dressed: The little miss looks elegant in shoes play up
this pants and stylish top with a tie. The belt and her bold
sandals complement the attire. personality.
Taking on the
world: Attired in
frilled frock and
patterned
nickers the kid
is eager to go
out and mix
with her friends.

Sitting pretty: The flowery frock is enhancing

her innocent beauty. The inventive hairdo has
added grace to her cherubic face.
 When they bloom, these
flowering shrubs, make
your garden an aesthetic
place for visitors.
VERSATILE By Som Dutt

VIBURNUMS FOR AESTHETIC BEAUTY

iburnums enriched with 175

V
diverse shrubs or dwarf
trees are found in India.
They are valued for their
attractive flowers, decora -
tive foliage and coloured
fruits. The flowers, snowball
type, are globular cymes,
which also attract onlookers.
The showy flowers and
brightly coloured fruits make the
garden an aesthetically rich place for
visitors. All its types of plants are
ideally suited for planting on borders
of shrubberies, informal hedges, or
for screening and planting along
roads.
Though viburnums have long
been one of the most popular and
highly prized flowering shrubs for
landscaping, their beauty still has a
charismatic effect when planted in a
garden or anywhere. They can find
ways to suit the need of a garden –
wet or dry, sunny or shady, natural
or formal, shrub or tree and native or
exotic. Their blooming times span
early spring through June. The
flowering season, very beautiful, is
followed with equally attractive fruits
and outstanding fall foliage. The
flowers, emitting musk-like fragrance,
are quite useful in the perfumery
industry. The fruits are a rich source
of vitamins and minerals, especially

76 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

vitamin A, C and E, flavonoids and
other bioactive compounds. The
handsome fruits appeal to birds. The
fruits of some species are sour in
taste. They may be eaten in place of
anardana. The juice of fruits is highly
useful in indigestion. A dye is also
obtained from its fruits. Besides, the
fruits are useful in other human
diseases also.
Scientifically known as viburnum
species, it has many species. Of
them, only Viburnum cotinifolium,
V.cylindricum and V.mullaha are
popularly-grown viburnums. All
viburnums can easily be grown in
light to heavy soils but the soil should
be moist. They can be grown even in
alkaline conditions. Semi-
shaded conditions are
conducive. Generally, its plants
are self-incompatible, hence
they need to be grown close to
other distinct plants of the same
species to get fertile fruits as
well as seeds.
Viburnum cotinifolium: It is
a deciduous shrub, growing to
1.5-3.0 metres high. Its leaves
are ovate to heart-shaped. The
flowers are mildly scented. The
leaves show a rich orange colour,
giving a good showy effect when
grown as a border plant. It is grown
by seeds easily. Layering of the
current season’s grown plants in
July-August is also successful.
V. cylindricum: An evergreen
shrub, its plants grow to a five metres
height. Its leaves are glabrous.
Flowers in abundance are available
from July to September. Its plants are
grown by seeds. Cuttings of the
current year’s grown plants grow into
beautiful plants in the spring season.
V.mullaha: Its plants are shrubs,
growing to five metres in height. The
white flowers have a pleasant aroma
during June-August. The fruits are
bright red and shining. They too look
very beautiful in winter. Its plants are
ideal specimen in moist and dry
locations. Its plants can also be
easily grown.
Its plants can be grown by sowing
seeds. The plant cuttings too grow
well if planted well. The cuttings
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
should be collected from semi-hard
stems and they need to be treated
with Indole butaric acid (1000 ppm) in
the spring and summer seasons.
Early spring is deal time for planting.
Young plants are fit for planting.
Most of the viburnums prefer full
sunlight but grow well in partially
shaded conditions also. They like
moderate fertile soil with a pH value
of 5.6-6.6.
Since few pests attack viburnums,
they are ideal and popular in
landscaping. Recently, the viburnum
leaf beetle has been noticed to attack
its plants. It causes a great loss.
Therefore, to have a watch on its
appearance is quite necessary.
There is no singular viburnum
foliage. It can be rounded, lance-
shaped or toothed, smooth, velvety
or rough. There are some evergreen,
semi-evergreen and deciduous
varieties having outstanding fall
colour.
Most viburnums have pinkish
flowers which are sometimes
fragrant. The flowers themselves
come in three major types. They are:
flat clusters of florets; flat umbels
outlined with larger flowers,
resembling lacecap hydrangeas; and
dome-shaped, snowball-like clusters.
Almost all varieties of viburnums
produce attractive clusters of drupe
type fruits which are popular among
birds, wildlife and human-beings. We
77
 SUSTAIN
THAT
& SPARKLE
SHINE
Great tips to
keep your
gems glittering
for life.
By Bhavna Keswani

78 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 he sheen of an exquisite
T
piece of jewellery would
definitely make one get
noticed by, but all without its
lustre, the same piece would
lose its charm. Since
jewellery is worn almost
every day, it is exposed to
dust, sweat and other
chemicals which can make it
look dull and tarnished. Hence, the
need to keep jewellery clean and
storing it with utmost care cannot be
overemphasised.
First, know how susceptible your
jewellery is to scratches and
chemical products. Hardness is
based on a gem-trade standard
called the Mohs scale. The higher the
Mohs scale number, the harder the
stone is. The highest scale rating is
10 for diamonds. Anything with a
Mohs scale rating of less than seven
is easily scratched such as pearl,
opal, coral and turquoise. Gold, silver
and platinum are only Mohs 21/2 to
4.
It is extremely important that
pieces of jewellery are stored
separately so that they don’t get
scratched and broken. Store it right
and your jewellery will look new and
last you a lifetime. Keep your
ornaments in cases with soft-lined
insides or in soft-fabric pouches. You
can also wrap them in tissue paper
and then keep in a box.
Don’t be under the impression that
if you won’t wear your jewellery often,
it will have its glow intact. Jewellery,
whether worn frequently or not, has
to be taken care of and cleaned on a
regular basis to keep it radiant.
Gold: Gold can be
scratched and dented if you are
not careful. Rings and bracelets
tend to damage more than
earrings or necklace simply
because of where they are
worn. Chemicals in beauty
products, perfumes and hair
spray can rob the gold jewellery
of its sheen. Even the
chlorinated water in the
swimming pools causes the
gold to become weak and
prone to breaking. So don’t
wear your gold in a swimming
pool. Take your jewellery off
while doing household chores
or else wear rubber gloves for
protection. Clean your gold jewellery
with a soft toothbrush and soapy
water. Grease can be removed by
dipping the jewellery into plain
rubbing alcohol. Always, rinse
thoroughly and dry after cleaning. If
moisture is left on your jewellery, it
can cause the springs and clasps of
the jewellery to get weak over time.
Silver: Silver tarnishes when
exposed to air. Don’t store silver in
plastic bags as it contains sulphur
compounds which can cause tarnish
faster. Even wood and rubber
promotes tarnish. To clean silver
jewellery pieces, make a dip using
baking soda, aluminium foil and hot
water. Place aluminium foil in a bowl
and pour hot water into it. Then put
fresh baking soda into the water.
Submerge the silver jewellery in the
water and allow it to soak for half an
hour. Then, rinse it and allow it to dry.
Pearls: Pearls are organic stones
and react quickly to any form of
chemicals like perfumes, lotions and
hair spray. These chemicals not only
cause the pearls to lose their lustre,
but also stain them. So wear your
pearl jewellery at the end after you
have applied perfume and lotions.
Clean pearls only with lukewarm
water and never brush them in any
way. Wipe them with a soft cotton
cloth.
Diamonds: Clean diamonds in
the same way that you would clean
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
your gold pieces. However, avoid
touching them too much as the
natural skin oils in your fingers can
cause them to lose their shine.
Platinum: Platinum is quite
durable in that way. It does not get
tarnished or discoloured very easily.
Nevertheless, you still have to take
care of it because it can be scratched
if not properly stored. Platinum can
be cleaned in the same manner as
gold.
Coloured gemstones: Sunlight
can cause many coloured gemstones
to fade, change colour or even crack.
Gemstones like emerald, coral,
amber and turquoise should not be
cleaned with soap and water.
Just use a soft damp cloth to wipe
them clean. And always remember to
put on your perfume, deo spray or
hair spray before you wear your
delicate stones, otherwise it can
cause stains and discolouring in the
stones.
Be careful when you are cleaning
your jewellery in a sink. Put a stopper
on before cleaning lest your precious
jewellery go down the drain. Better
still, clean them in a bowl. Also
remember that, apart from cleaning
and storing your jewellery well at
home, have it professionally cleaned
and polished at least once a year.
Then, when you will sport your
sparklers, rest assured that they
would have a bedazzling effect on
everyone around you! We
79

he annual FICCI 2009
T connection, held at Hotel
Rennaisance, was not found wanting
in any way. If on the one hand, it had
good deal of glamour and glitz,
thanks to the presence of Deepika
Padukone (who lighted the traditional
lamp) Kareena Kapoor, Preity Zinta,
Shilpa Shetty and Amitabh
Bachchan, on the other a post of
burning issues affecting the film
industry were discussed.
ash Chopra, chairman of the
Y FICCI Entertainment Committee
presented a token of gratitude to
Union Minister of state for Information
and Broadcasting, Mr Anand
Sharma.
80
Deepika
Padukone,
lighted the
traditional
lamp, during
FICCI 2009.
B O M B AY F I L M D O M
he three-day meet ended with the
T “10 most powerful entertainers of
the decade” being honoured with the
FICCI frames – IIFA awards 2009,
Sharmila Tagore was honoured with
the Living Legend Award.
hile renowned journalist-turned-
W film maker interacted with Rahul
Bose on the Globalisation of Indian
Cinema’, another well known
journalist Kaveree Bamzai interacted
with Mahesh Bhat and others on
copy, cut, paste to Indian taste: Films
in India.
amesh Sippy (of Sholay and
R Shakti fame) spoke on De-
Risking the cinema business and
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
Kamal Hassan (of Ek Duje ke Liye
and Chachi 420 fame) delivered the
key note speech on ‘Focus South’.
emember how the highly
R successful (Indian Premiere
League) cricket matches had affected
the box-office collections of quite a
few films last year? And certain
exhibitions and distributors had
wished that these matches don’t
become an annual event.
here can be no two opinions that
T 23rd and 24th February 2009 will
always remain red letter days for
Indian cinema, for on these two days
as many as three film celebrities
bagged the coveted oscar awards out
of the eight won by Slumdog
Millionaire. Directed by British
director, Danny Boyle, the film
Sharmila
Tagore
was
honoured
with the
Living
Legend
Award.
revolves around Mumbai’s slum,
Dharavi, reportedly the biggest slum
in Asia!

ell, whether they like it or not,

W preparations are already on for
the IPL-2, and quite a few stars like
Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta, Shilpa
Shetty, Juhi Chawla, and heavily
loaded businessman like Mukesh
Ambani and Vijay Mallya are already
busy acquiring their stakes. If a few
film makers have to re-schedule their
releases, it’s their headache.
Clockwise from Top Left: Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta & Ness Wadia, Vijay Mallya
enerally it’s the producer who and Mukesh Ambani – IPL Franchise Owners.
G hosts a party to mark the
completion of a film, but in the case esul Pookutty dedicated his
of Sajid Nadiawala's film Kambakht
Ishq, it is the cast of his film who
R Oscar for the best sound mixing
to his country and said he was happy
threw the party, more so since the at sharing the stage with two
party coincided with Sajid’s 43rd magicians. Rahman and Gulzar –
birthday. Those attended the party who created the soul-stiring music for
included Akshay Kumar, Kareena the film.
Kapoor, Amrita Arora, Farah Khan
and many others. s if it was not enough that

usic director A. R. Rahman

A slumdog millionaire had bagged
three Oscars, Smile Pinki , a short
M topped the list of winners with
two Oscars – one for the best original
documentary directed by American
director Megan Mylan, also bagged
music score and one for the best one Oscar. The documentary
song (Jai Ho), which he shares with revolves around a six year old girl
lyricist Gulzar who wrote the song. Pinki from Mirzapur, Uttar Pradesh,
who is socially ostracised because
she has a cleft lip. However, she is
accepted back once her deformity is
cured.

o far Bhanu Athaiya, the dress

Music director A.R. Rahman showing
two Oscars.
peaking on the occasion,
S Rahman said, “The essence of
the film is optimism and the power of
hope in our lives.” He also thanked
his mother for going all the way to
Hollywood to attend the award
presentation ceremony and
mouthed the popular line from
Deewar: Mere Paas Ma Hai.
Kareena Kapoor with
others in the cast of
‘Kambakht Ishq’, threw a
party on the 43rd
birthday of the producer
of the film.
S designer for Gandhi also a film
made by a Britisher, Richard
Attenborough in 1983, was the sole
recipient of an Oscar. Of courses, an
Oscar was also conferred on late
Satyajit Ray as a Lifetime
Achievement Award.
other India produced and
M directed by late Mehboob Khan
in mid-50s was not only the first
Indian film to be nominated in the
foreign film category, it went closest
to the award. Unfortunately, it lost the
honour by a single vote. How sad
indeed?
nil Kapoor may not have won an
A Oscar, but he had exhilarating

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor will play the roles of terrorists, in the film, the
shooting of which is yet to start.
movements interacting with very
beautiful Kate Winslet, Steven
Spielberg, Dustin Hoffman and Clint
Eastwood, among others. Of course,
he bagged a BAFTA award too for
playing the T.V. host in Slumdog
Millionaire.
uess how a smart diplomat-
G turned-writer Vikas Swarup
profited from the distinction achieved
by Slumdog Millionaire. He replaced
the cover of his book, already in the
market with a cover carrying the
photos of the hero and heroine of the
film and the sale did a high jump!
f Dame Luck is out to smile on
I someone, it does even if one is
kicked out of a project! Oscar
winning lyricist Gulzar who
wrote mora gora rang lai lo for
Bandini may not have drawn the
attention of director Bimal Roy if
he (Gulzar) had not been kicked
out by S. D. Burman as a
lyricist. Bimal Roy invited Gulzar
to join him as an assistant for
Kabuliwala an assignments
which offered multi dimensional
possibilities, most of which
Gulzar has already achieved!
Laudable indeed.
82
inger Sukhwinder Singh whose
S voice is one of the voices used in
Jai Ho, the Oscar Anthem in
Slumdog Millionaire has reason to be
more happy than others, for over the
past few years, he felt that Rahman
has the merit to win either the
Grammy or an Oscar. And Rahman
has not let him down.
hat the film industry has started
T feeling the cash crunch is amply
proved by the news that Yash Raj
films has reportedly decided to sack
20 of its employees. Many more film
makers may have to tighten their
(fiscal) belts.
Singer Sukhwinder Singh is singing with
the group Slumdog Millionaire’s Jai Ho.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
hat film wallas always want to
T cash on a topical subject is also
proved by the decision of Saif Ali
Khan and Kareena Kapoor to play
terrorists, now that the spot light is
on terrorism in the wake of terrorists
attack on Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai
which claimed 183 lives!
career in films is not a bed of
A roses. Actors have to make a
sacrifice once in a while. There is
hardly any surprise, therefore, if
Priyanka Chopra decided to chop off
her long and lusterours hair for a
forthcoming Yashraj film titled Pyar
Impossible . Money makes almost
everything possible. Right?
jay Devgan was in the news
A recently, albeit for an undesirable
reason: for an alleged duty evasion
on an imported superbike which was
a part of a consignment of 70
superbikes. Sleuths of the revenue
intelligence seized the consignment.
Right Mr. Devgan?
n 27 January, 2008 Amitabh
O Bachchan laid the foundation
stone of a girls’ college in Daulatpur,
Uttar Pradesh, with all the fanfare
and had promised that the college to
be named after Aishwarya Rai
Bachchan would come up in six
months but more than a year after
the foundation stone laying ceremony
in the presence of Ash, Abhishek and
in all probability, Ch. Amar Singh,
leader of the Samajwadi Party, work
has not yet even been started on the
construction of the building. Amitabh
would do well to recall the line from a
famous English poet. “I have a
promise to keep”. What do you
think, Mr Bachchan?
ow that Indian actors and
N Indian cinema are going global,
yet another technician, an art
director to be precise, is taking a
global high jump: noted art director
from Bombay Filmdom, Nitin Desai
is all set to make his debut in an
Hollywood film. He’s going to
design an antique train for a
Michael Douglas film. Wow!
– Deepak Puri.

Q&
I am 22 years old and have recently
developed whitish patches on my
chest. I sweat profusely and have an
oily skin. Please advise.
You are suffering from a condition
called pityriasis vesicular caused by
organism microsporan furfur.
Treatment of the condition is both
general and local.
You should have regular baths
daily and change of underclothing.
A
Being mildly contagious, precaution
among family members must be
taken.
Antifungal drugs and local
application of a solution can cure
you. For this you will have to take the
advice of your doctor. Though
recovery takes place normal
pigmentation of the skin may take
time to return.
I am 28 years old and have recently
delivered a baby whom I am
breastfeeding. The shape of my
breasts is very good but now I am
afraid that breastfeeding will spoil
their shape. Please help.
Motherhood is nature’s gift to you.
There is no doubt that the body is
affected during pregnancy but
generally, within four to six weeks of
delivery, it tends to return to the
previous shape. But in this you will
have to help nature by a well-
balanced diet regimen and exercise
programme.
Breastfeeding your baby can help
to shape your body. You will have to
take care of your breasts by proper
support and massage and you will
regain their old shape.
Q
I am a 30-year-old housewife. My
problem is that recently two of our
close family members died of cancer
(breast and cervix). I am really
panicky. Could you suggest some
general guidelines to save me and
my family from falling victims to
cancer.
It would be essential for you to go
to your doctor for a complete check-
up so that any sign of early cancer
can be detected. You may get a
mammogram for exclusion of breast
cancer and PAP smear for carcinoma
of the cervix.
Besides this, take care of your
diet. Reduce fat in your diet. Eat
more fibre-rich foods. Avoid smoked
and salt-preserved foods. Your diet
should have plenty of fresh fruits and
green vegetables.
QQ
I am a 30-year-old housewife. Of late,
I have developed tremors in my
hands. I am very worried. I have read
somewhere that this may be
early signs of shaking palsy. Please
help.
Tremors in hands can be due to
various causes and these include
anxiety and over-functioning of the
thyroid gland (thyrotoxicosis).
You should consult your doctor
who after examining and
investigating you, will be able to
locate the cause.
Your worry about developing
Parkinson’s disease (shaking palsy)
is not well founded. Victims of the
disease are generally of an older
age-group and early symptoms
include a slight difficulty in standing
up or walking along with heaviness
of limbs.
Q
I am 22 years old. My problem is that
I gnash and grind my teeth during my
sleep. This has put a lot of strain on
me. Please advise.
Yours is not an isolated case. Lots
of men and women suffer from it.
Very often, this behaviour is a
person’s response to anxiety or
stress. I think you should look into
this aspect very carefully. Very often
there is subconscious stress that the
sufferer may not be aware of. Other
causes include malaligned teeth or
when a single filing of teeth protrudes
too high. It might be advisable to see
your dentist who might be able to
solve your problem.
Q
I am a 40-year-old housewife and
mother of two teenage daughters. I
am on oral pills for the last seven
years. I read somewhere about the
side effects of the pills and this has
made me very afraid. Please advise.
Your fears are well founded.
Women are likely to develop side
effects like jaundice, high blood
pressure and chances of developing
thrombosis in the veins leading to
pulmonary embolism, etc. But all
these side-effects are in women who
take pills containing high levels of
female hormones for long periods. I
think you should see your doctor who
will prescribe the pills containing low
levels of hormones.
I am 40 years old. My husband who
is 45 years old has recently suffered
a heart attack. My whole life has
come crashing. I wonder if we will be
able to have a normal sex
relationship. Please advise.
You are unnecessarily getting
panicky. Studies done in this regard
have shown that, as exercise, a
sexual relationship is no more
physically taxing than walking briskly.
You will have to consult your doctor
in this regard who will be able to
assess your husband’s cardiac
status. Sex after a heart attack is
generally safe if done with proper
precautions and without undue
excitement.
— Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.
 BEWARE
OF
TSS: IT’S DEADLY
Precautionary measures
against and treatment for TSS.
By Vikas Kumar Jain
f you’re a girl who’s had her
I
periods you may have heard
fright e ning stories about toxic
shock syndrome (TSS), a serious
illness originally linked to the use
of tampons. But TSS isn’t strictly
related to tampons. The contra-
ce ptive sponge and the diaph -
ragm, two types of birth control
methods, have been linked to
TSS. And, sometimes, the infection
has occurred as a result of wounds or
surgery, where the skin has been
broken, allowing bacteria to enter.
TSS can happen to anyone —
men, women and even children —
and it can be serious, and fatal if not
treated.
If you’re concerned about TSS the
smartest thing you can do is to take
some precautions.
84 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
What is toxic shock syndrome?
TSS is a systemic illness, which
means that it affects the whole body.
It can be caused by one of two
different types of bacteria, Staphy -
lococcus aureus and Streptococcus
pyogenes — although toxic shock
that is caused by the Streptococcus
bacteria is rarer. These bacteria can
produce toxins toxins. In some
people whose bodies can’t fight these
toxins, the immune system reacts.
This reaction causes the symptoms
associated with TSS.
When people think of TSS, they
often think of tampon usage. That’s
because the earliest cases of the
illness, back in the late ’s70s, were
related to super-absorbent tampons.
Research led to better tampons and
better habits for using them — such
as changing tampons more often.
The number of TSS cases dropped
dramatically.
Today about half of all TSS cases
are linked to menstruation apart from
tampon use, TSS has been linked to
skin infections that are typically minor
and can be associated with the
chickenpox rash. TSS has also been
reported following surgical proce -
dures, giving birth, and prolonged
use of nasal packing for nose
bleeds.
Signs and symptoms
Symptoms of TSS occur suddenly.
As it’s an illness that is caused by a
toxin, many of the body’s systems
are affected. The signs and symp -
toms of TSS include:
● High fever (38.8o Celsius)
● Rapid drop in blood pressure
(with light-headedness or fainting)
● Sunburn-like rash on the entire
body.
● Vomiting and diarrhoea
● Severe muscle aches or
weakness
● Bright red colouring of the
eyes, throat, and vagina
● Headache, confusion,
disorientation, or seizures
● Kidney and other organ failure
The average time before
symptoms appear for TSS is 2-3
days after an infection with Staphylo-
coccus or Streptococcus, although
this can vary depending on the cause
of the infection.
Prevention
You can reduce the risk by simply
taking some common sense
precautions:
● Clean and bandage any skin
wounds
● Change bandages regularly,
rather than keeping them on for
several days.
● Check wounds for signs of
infection. If a wound gets red,
swollen, painful, or tender, or if you
develop a fever, call your doctor right
away.
● If you are a girl whose period
has started, the best way to avoid
TSS is to use sanitary napkins What do doctors do?
instead of tampons. TSS is a medical emergency. If
● For girls who prefer to use you think you (or someone you know)
tampons, select the ones with the may have TSS, consult a doctor right
lowest absorbency that can handle away. Depending on the symptoms,
your menstrual flow and a doctor may refer you to
change them frequently. the emergency
You can also alternate the
TSS is a department for immediate
use of tampons with sanitary medical evaluation and testing.
napkins. If you’ve already emergency. If doctors suspect
had an episode of TSS or If you think TSS, they will probably
have been infected with start intravenous (IV)
you (or
S. aureus, don’t use fluids and antibiotics as
tampons or contraceptive
someone soon as possible. They
devices that have been you know) may take a sample from
associated with TSS (such may have the suspected site of the
as diaphragms and TSS, infection, such as the
contraceptive sponges). consult a skin, nose or vagina, to
check it for TSS. They
doctor right may also take a blood
away. sample. Other blood tests
can help monitor how
various organs like the kidneys are
working and check for other diseases
that may be causing the symptoms.
Medical staff remove tampons,
contraceptive devices or wound
packing; clean any wounds; and, if
there is a pocket of infection (called
an abscess), a doctor may need to
drain pus from the infected area.
People with TSS typically need to
stay in hospital, often in the intensive
care unit, for several days to closely
monitor blood pressure, respiratory
status, and to look for signs of other
problems, such as organ damage.
So, pay attention to preventive
measures. We
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 85
 NEW GENERATION
KISSING
How to get your kisser into the best lip-smacking condition!
he world over, youth is
T
becoming more open with a
liberal attitude to love and
sex. Even in China's capital
city of Beijing, you can see
young couples on an endless
honeymoon exchanging
passionate kisses. In tight
clinches, hugging with heads
on each other’s laps in public
places, China’s lovers have become
metaphors of a confident country on
the move, liberated and enlightened.
A little bit of passion doesn’t hurt
anybody, does it? Usually people
censor themselves before their
mush-act turns into a nuisance for
others. But in Kama Sutra country,
the scenario is totally different. India
is neither a Beijing nor a Paris. Here,
the kisses are kept to the confines of
the bedroom. What to talk of
expressing affection in public, the
current generation has never seen
their parents being physical, kissing
cuddling or even touching each other.
In public, policemen jump at
86
By Dr Parveen Prakash
anything that remotely suggests an
act of romance outside the confines
of one’s home. Further, there has
always been an ongoing battle
between the censor board and the
film-maker. However, things are
surely changing with heroines like
Bipasha Basu talking about her kiss
with John Abraham.
A kiss revolves around
relationships and sex: Kissing is an
evolved courtship ritual. At the
moment of a kiss there’s a
complicated exchange of information
– everything from posture to tactile
to chemical clues. Between a man
and a woman, a kiss is the indication
of affection, desire and often a
precursor to sex.
A typical kiss starts with a touch of
the lips, followed by individual
movement of the tongue. The first
kiss is supposed to send shivers of
pleasure down your body. Gordon
Gallup, an evolutionary psychologist
carried out a study on the kiss at the
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
State University of New York and
found:
● Women think of long-term
relationships while kissing and men
think of sex.
● Men like their kisses wetter and
with more tongue contact than
women.
● Women place more importance
than men on the state of their kissing
partner’s teeth.
● Compared to women, more
men like to have sex with someone
without kissing.
Making the act of kissing
romantic and unforgettable: If you
are still a novice at kissing, learn how
to enjoy your kisses. Some really hot
guys have absolutely no idea how to
make your juices flow simply
because they are just not attuned to
the pucker power you desire.
These surefire tips will help your
guy become the kind of kisser that
makes you melt. Don’t miss them! If a
woman likes to be kissed in a
particular manner then sooner or
later she has to make her husband
aware of that desire. Instead of telling
him what he’s doing wrong, show him
how to do it right, says Shelley Hess,
author of Pucker Power: Great
Kissers Make Great Lovers.
Setting an example is the easiest
way to break the ice in the lesson of
kissing. While guiding your guy in the
art of kissing the slower your
approach is, the less it will seem like
a lesson. Keep your kisses soft and
sweet – at first. Soon, you’ll have him
exactly where you want him –
begging for more. Men consider little
pecks on their cheeks, eyes and
foreheads romantic. As the passion
builds, caress his tongue with yours
as you run your fingers up and down
his body concentrating on sensitive
spots such as his nipples. Make sure
you don’t let him have the upper
hand.
When you’re fired up for a ‘take
me now’ caveman-style lip-lock,
press your lips together really tight.
Then place your hands on his buns
and pull his pelvis closer till you’re
both in a hot clinch. Biting, nibbling
and sucking each other’s lips boosts
blood flow, making you more
sensitive. Finally, when he is
motivated and begins to mirror you,
treat him to some positive feedback
(moaning works!) to ensure that he
learns the new rhythm. You’ll both
soon achieve lip-locks that’ll have
you levitating with lust.
Celebrate sex-me-up smooches
● If nine times out of 10 he plants
a soft, tender kiss on your cheek,
then your beau is the sensitive type.
This is a paternal gesture that shows
he wants to take care of you.
● If you and your guy regularly
part with a lengthy lip-lock, then
damn, you’re lucky! This man is
incredibly passionate and highly
erotic say body-language experts.
● A guy who frequently says
goodbye with a bear hug is
comfortable showing you the love.
He’s confident about the relationship
and likely sees a future with you,
says communication expert Carolyn
Finch.
● When parting, some guys often
give only a quick peck or one-armed
IF YOU ARE STILL
hug with little effort. Why? He might A NOVICE AT
be distracted or just late for work.
● Most guys hold back from
KISSING, LEARN
engaging in deep, lusty lip-locks in HOW TO ENJOY
front of others. So if he is showing
this kind of reluctance in public, his YOUR KISSES.
sexual attraction for you is powerful. SOME REALLY
He’s probably also a very passionate
person to begin with a thrill-seeking HOT GUYS HAVE
type who takes risks and always
pushes the envelope.
ABSOLUTELY NO
IDEA HOW TO
Focus on the surprising
features of kiss MAKE YOUR
● The average person spends JUICES FLOW
336 hours of his or her life kissing.
At an approximate length of one SIMPLY BECAUSE
minute each, that’s 20,160 kisses.
● Good, rich and passionate
THEY ARE JUST
kissing can burn up to 600 calories NOT ATTUNED
an hour.
● Kissing each day will keep the
TO THE PUCKER
dentist away. Kissing increases the POWER YOU
mouth’s production of saliva, and
saliva helps to clean the mouth thus DESIRE.
aids prevention of tooth decay and
gum disease.
In the long term this can even help
to head off a heart attack because
gum disease increases the risk of
heart attack.
● A kiss is a lovely trick designed
by nature to stop speech when words
become superfluous.
Our brains have special neurons
that help us locate each other’s lips in
the dark.
kiss turn-offs
Here’s what guys hate about
kissing:
● When the girl holds guy’s head
in a vice and goes at him like a
sledge hammer. Yes, it happens,
believe me!
● Hairy upper lips are a major no-
no.
● When a woman has no passion
and feeling in her kiss.
● Bad breath is a huge turn-off,
especially if you’re in a romantic
mood.
● Women talk so much; it would
be really good if she shuts up when
kissing.
● Unwanted aggression.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 87

THE AVERAGE
PERSON SPENDS
336 HOURS OF
HIS OR HER LIFE
KISSING. AT AN
APPROXIMATE
LENGTH OF ONE
MINUTE EACH,
THAT’S 20,160
KISSES.
Terminology that guides to
establish genuine bonds
The surprise kiss: A kiss delivered
when it is least expected can have a
wonderful effect. It has a magical
effect if one of you is feeling sleepy
or angry about something. It is a
declaration of a truce and love.
The bite kiss: It is a naughty
declaration of love between the
lovers. It should not be kept confined
to ears or lips and can be implanted
anywhere on the body. It often leaves
a mark on the lover’s body.
The fleeting kiss: It is often a
88
greeting kiss between lovers at the
end of the working day, or a simple
goodnight. It is a brief meeting of lips.
The naughty kiss: It begins with a
fleeting touch but later the lovers’
tongues touch each other tentatively,
to only pull back with a promise of
love later.
The French kiss: It’s putting and
twirling the tongue in each others’
mouths. It is considered to be the
most popular kiss.
The intense french kiss: It is
common in Hollywood movies. It
involves a sucking type motion.
Often, coupled with caressing each
other, this kiss is a hot and steamy’
declaration of love and ownership.
Resolve kiss crisis
Never forget to acknowledge and
appreciate romantic mouth
manoeuvers. Your guy might be
unsure of your real feeling and might
feel let down.
● Odour of your breath matters.
Avoid such strongly flavoured foods
as garlic, onion or pickle etc. before
kissing.
● Avoid a nose clash, by
standing close but with a slight tilt of
your head.
● It is indeed difficult to keep your
eyes open during a hot kiss. You
need not put brakes on this reflex
action while enjoying a kiss.
● Too much of lipstick makes a
kiss cumbersome and can put a man
off. It doesn’t look very desirable
when it is smudged.
Harmonise your kiss to keep
the relationship alive
● Feathery kisses all over the
face send the right message and can
be as inspiring as tongue-to-tongue
kissing.
● If your man doesn’t know he’s
missing the mark, stop the kiss, but
not the affection. Simply pull your
face away mid-kiss and nibble his
neck, lick his ear, or suck on his
lower lip. That will subtly send the
message that his mouth manoeuvers
aren’t cutting it with you and make
him stop the tempo and the style.
● Variations in your reaction is as
important as action. This coy ploy
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
teases him into a frenzy and makes
him want to grab right then and there.
● If your crave a slow, sensual
make-out sensation, gaze into his
eyes as you cup his chin and guide
him towards you gently. Don’t make
any sudden move, otherwise you’ll
ruin the momentum.
● A light, soft playful and fun
coupled kiss can be made into a
demanding, urgent statement for your
man.
Perfect pout a blessing for
sexy kisses
A perfect pair of lips should be in
profile, a gentle S-shaped curve
between the lips and the chin, with a
4mm depression between the two.
The upper lip should be no more than
75 per cent the size of the lower lip,
which ensures that lips play in
indispensable role in the love game
which often begins with a kiss.
According to a survey conducted by a
British company, Harris Research,
“Most men feel that fully curly lips are
more attractive and kissable than thin
lips.” You are lucky if your lips have
natural bee-stung puffiness. A
luscious mouth is just incredibly
captivating because men are
subconsciously drawn to a plush
mouth.
There’s a theory that, over the
centuries, women developed curvy
lips to attract men because they
signal youth, health and fertility, says
anthropologists Helen Fisher. Being
packed with nerve endings, lips
broadcast that you’re able to feel a
lot, through a kiss. All of this means
that a full, shapely mouth can exert a
prehistorical pull on a man.
Angelina Jolie probably has one
of the hottest bodies in Hollywood but
she is famous for her pout! Just
thinking about it sends men’s hearts
racing! That is what we call a perfect
pout. Unfortunately, not all of us are
as blessed. We have those hidden-
under-the-carpet lip problems –
wrinkle lines, dry, chapped lips,
paper-thin or smile-and-you-reach-
the-moon lips.
Here’s how to touch up and make
your pout come alive:
● If you have thin lips, use a
primer before your lipstick. It stings
for a bit, but pumps up your lips and
offers them the perfect volume.
● If you have wrinkly lips, use a
light reflecting lipstick which reduces
the appearance of wrinkles.
● If you have a discoloured lips,
you can set them right by applying a
lip base before you smooth on lipstick
or gloss. Or just dab on a little
foundation or loose powder all over
your lips. Not only will this let the
colour show better, it will also make it
stay on longer.
● Women with broader lips
should not go in for darker colours as
it makes the lips look thinner.
Instead, apply a shade darker than
the natural skin tone of your lips and
finish off with a gloss to get that
perfect pout.
Want to know more kisser-
enhancing tips?
Healthy lips look kissable. Before
applying any make-up, exfoliate your
lips by rubbing them against a baby
towel. This brings a natural flash to
your lips. Lipstick is considered a
morale-booster and is essentially
helpful in giving you self-respect and
self-confidence. If your kisser isn’t as
shapely as you’d like, here’s a quick
fix:
● Line your lips outside the
natural line of your lips to make them
look plumper. Use a liner that is the
same colour as your skin.
● After applying your lipstick dot
the centre of your upper and lower
lips with lip sheen or gloss. This will
make the spot look plumper and
create a bee-stung effect. Use sheen
in copper, pale gold or silver pigment
for the centre to maximise the effect.
● Apply a thin line of highlighter
along your Cupid’s bow. It’s the spot
directly above the centre of your lip.
Light will bounce off it and
automatically help play up the curves.
● Choose the right shade of
lipstick. Know where to put it and how
much to put. A dark shade of red
makes your lips look thinner and
make you look mature. Instead, opt
for a colour which complements your
skin.
● Stand in front of the mirror and
mouth a silent ‘O’. That’s what we
call a perfect pout. Make sure that
you keep your lips slightly apart at all
times. Lips look most alluring when
they’re slightly parted and you see a
sliver of teeth. Always part your lips.
Otherwise, if the mouth is closed, you
get that tight, clenched look which
isn’t as sexy.
Not happy with the shape of
your lips? Opt for Hi-tech
transformation
The lips lose volume with age and
the overlying skin also tends to get
dry, giving a shrivelled look. This
makes you look older. This volume
can be added to with filler materials
that resemble the ground substance
of our own skin.
Injections of material like collagen
or fat are used in lip enhancement.
Simple injections provide instant
enhancement as well as adjust
asymmetrical contours. This can be
done under local anaesthesia.
Collagen (an animal extract),
dermalogen (derived from human
skin), autologen (made from the
patient’s skin) or a fat injection from
fat taken from the patient’s body
during liposuction, are materials used
in lip enhancement surgery.
Lip surgery is one of the
commonest look-altering procedures.
Cosmetic surgery can be used to
correct asymmetrical lips and plump
up thin lips. And it’s not just the
models and actresses who are opting
for it. In today’s appearance-
conscious society, the average
middle-class woman doesn’t mind
paying to better the way her lips look.
But choose a surgeon who is well
qualified reputed and experienced if
you opt to go under the knife. Botox
and plastic surgery aren’t your only
option.
Try the new L’Oreal Volume
Perfect Lip Colour, a dual-ended lip
colour to camouflage your imperfect
lips. It promises to reshape,
recontour and reinvent your lips. Hi-
tech ingredients like collagen
complex, optical pearls and
moisturisers help erase fine lines,
increase fullness and give definition –
all at the same time.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
THERE’S A THEORY
THAT, OVER THE
CENTURIES, WOMEN
DEVELOPED CURVY
LIPS TO ATTRACT MEN
BECAUSE THEY
SIGNAL YOUTH,
HEALTH AND
FERTILITY, SAYS
ANTHROPOLOGISTS
HELEN FISHER.
Strike at smooth going for your
lips
Your lips are among the most
sensitive areas of your body. The thin
skin on your lips is vulnerable to the
sun. Therefore, you need to protect
them all year round. Keep rays from
parching your pucker. Just like you
need sun protection for your face and
body, you need sunscreen for your
lips too, as lips do not tan, but burn.
This is especially necessary if you
use gloss, as lip glosses attract the
sun’s rays. So invest in a chapstick
that contains sunscreen and smooth
it over your lips every day before you
step out into the sun. Exfoliate your
lips twice a week to eliminate dry
rough patches. Dry cells accumulate
on your lips and the goop which
settles at the corners of our lips can
be quite gross. To get rid of this
problem, exfoliate your lips once in
15 days while you’re in a shower. We
89
 CREATING MUSIC
ON CANVAS
an you see colours in
C
classical music? Can you
create music in colours?
Veteran artist Dr Ranjit
Singh Gill does both. He
perceives colours in ragas
and raganis based on
Indian ( Hindustani )
classical music. Not only
does he perceive these
An artist who colours but also, employing his fertile
imagination, portrays sur and taals of
has made these same ragas and raganis on
canvas using visible colours.
music his Retired from government service,
Dr Gill devotes all his time to
subject. He visualising and converting intangible
music into tangible shapes. He has a
literally paints very musical family background. His
interest in art brought him into the art
music. field. Here he gained formal art
By Our Correspondent education from the College of Fine
Arts, Delhi. Not only this, he passed
his BFA in the first division and went
to The Netherlands for higher studies
on winning a scholarship. He then
even obtained a doctorate in arts also
– a title that only a few go for and only
the rare ones manage to achieve.
90 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
His studio named Studio Ragmala
on the terrace of his airy and
spacious residence in Faridabad
bears a very musical ambience.
About his choice of making music his
subject, Dr Gill says there is music
all around us. There is music in the
air, there is music in the water, and
there is music in all of nature. Even
the so-called inanimate objects also
are capable of producing music. But
most people fail to perceive this
omnipresent music because of the
constant chattering that goes on in
their minds. However, when you
listen to music and concentrate on it,
your internal chattering subsides and
you begin to experience a blissful
state. You need not be a savant of
music to achieve this state. All that
you need is a good listening habit.
Music itself then takes you along its
depth, he says. But the task of a
musician does not end here,
especially if he is an artist also. Then
his artistic creativity craves to come
out.
Dr Gill prefers to use oil colours
to portray his imagination. According
 Ragmala painting.

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 91


to him, oil colours mix very well
and produce astonishing effects
on canvas, just like nature would
on the vast canvas. This quality
of oil colours certainly
compensates for their only
demerit – that they take long to
dry up.
But Dr Gill’s choice for
shades and hues is not bound
or limited. He chooses his
shades and tinges mending to
the requirements of the painting.
Profile
Dr Ranjit Singh Gill is an artist
of considerable merit. He was born
in Punjab, where the village life
has had a powerful impact on his
subtle mind and imagination and
inspired him to paint and write. He
started painting when he was only
eight under the guidance of a
family friend, the artist Kumawat.
Gill’s first solo show was held in
1960. His formal education in arts
began thereafter. He started as a
realistic painter, then switched
over to pure abstraction, in
accordance with the contemporary
trend. But he soon felt that both
styles had limited the free
expression of his emotions. He
wanted to give his works a mystic
quality and for this surrealism
seemed to be the best mode, as it
dealt with dreaming and there was
no end to dreaming. Till date, he
has more than 100 solo shows to
his credit and still continues to
create new paintings with full
enthusiasm and vigour. Apart from
India, he has toured widely in
European countries and the USA.
92
He says, “Each and
every raga can be
depicted only with a
particular colour that well
suits its mood. Any
change in shades will
alter the meaning of the
raga.” How?
“There is a particular
time for a particular raga,
when it can be sung or played. The
nature of that particular moment too
bears particular shades of colours.
For instance, there is raga Megh. It is
particularly sung or played in the
rainy season, when dense clouds
brood over the sky.
But it will remain Megh only as
long as these clouds do not begin to
rain. So it is portrayed as brooding
clouds in dark grey shades with other
objects being depicted in their natural
colours.
“But as soon as these clouds
begin to rain, the nature of the raga
also alters. It becomes Megh Malhar
from simply Megh. As such, it has to
be portrayed in different shades now
as clouds with raindrops and flashes
of lightning among them. Such a
portrayal gives the onlooker a real
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
feel of that particular weather. At the
same time, he would experience the
undulating sound waves associated
with the raga, also called aaroh and
avaroha (crescendo and diminuendo)
along with the thunder of the
lightning,” explains Dr Gill.
Likewise, there is raga Ahir
Bhairav . Dr Gill has portrayed this
raga as an early morning
environment – the time when it is
sung – in tones of orange, magenta,
blue and yellow. The last colour is
particularly significant as it conveys
the impression of a golden morning.
The shastriya sangeet (classical
music) of the family and a thorough
study of the Gurbani, ragas and
ragmala of the Guru Granth Sahib
inspired him to create ragmala
paintings. Each of paintings in his
ragmala series was done after an in-
depth study of individual ragas .
Once he was thorough in the theory
behind a particular raga , he
would request his guru to
render the raga vocally and,
while the guru was doing so,
he would make rough sketches
with pastel colours capturing
the atmosphere and the
manner his emotions reacted
to the raga . That was how
intangible ragas got tangible
appearance in his paintings.
In his words: “The Ragmala
paintings represent a
philosophy comprehensive enough to
embrace complete knowledge. A
system of meditation which will
produce the power of concentrating
the mind upon anything whatsoever,
and an art of living which will enable
one to utilise each activity of the
body, speech and mind as an aid to
the path of liberation.
Writing prose and poetry is yet
another aspect of Dr Gill’s
multifarious personality.
He says, “As an artist, writer and
poet, I am trying to give something
to this field of my beloved country
and the world, specially for research
scholars, who are really in search of
something new.”
Trying to explain his paintings, Dr
Gill says, “I wish the viewers could
hear my paintings.” We
 e is a painter, a poster artist,

H
a singer, a character get-up
designer and an actor.
That’s not all. There is more
to this multi-talented person.
I am talking about the
famous painter Prithvi Soni.
Some of his get-up designs
are still famous. Among
them are Mogambo ( Mr
India) for the late Amrish Puri (Prithvi
gave the actor more than 15-20 looks
in different movies), Dr Dang (Karma)
for Anupam Kher, the look for Sanjay
Dutt in Khalnayak and Amitabh
Bachchan’s Robin Hood look in
Toofan.
Born in the district of
Bahadurgarh, Haryana, he educated
himself in Delhi. He considers his
entire education to be only in art. As
far as academics are concerned, he
has only studied till the 8th standard.

PRITHVI
His passion for painting made him
A painter concentrate on art alone.
Though interested in art, Prithvi’s
who gets ideas father had a tailor’s shop and would
get his son books on art written by
big artists. Prithvi is the only artist
from life.
THY NAME IS By Gayatri T Rao
among six brothers and three sisters.
Prithvi’s wife is a photographer. She
has done her diploma in photography

VERSATILITY!
from Pune. She has also done an
acting course from the Taneja
Institute. Right now, she is directing a
play and writing a story.
Their son is an actor and acted in
a recent movie called Om Shanti – A
Fight for Peace . Prithvi’s daughter
Kavita is a singer and has recently
released an album.
We met at Prithvi’s studio in
Andheri.
Excerpts from an interview:
What kind of painting is your
forte?
My forte is figurative paintings.
They depict Indian culture, Indian
beauty and Indian music.

What do you mean by music?

Musical instruments?
Yes. Musical instruments that of
Rajasthan. The instruments
connected to the desert and their
dance. I have worked on them all.
Like for example the flute, which is
one of India’s most melodious
 A young devotee is worshipping the rising sun after a dip is the holy Ganga river.
instruments. I have made many
paintings on the theme. I’ve worked
on the folk music of Punjab. I’ve
mostly worked on beauty with music.
When and how did you get
attracted to this kind of painting?
I was not really attracted to
painting as you can consider me a
born artist. Since I started
understanding things, I have been
interested in music and painting. I
would just start copying the
photographs which I saw as a child. I
would spoil the walls of people’s
houses with charcoal. People would
even get angry. After that, in 1962, I
was taken to Dalhousie, Himachal
Pradesh, by my guru, Rang Roop
Sahab. Then I started learning this
work.
Are you experimenting with the
kind of paintings you are doing
now?
Yes, because, in 1994-95, some
94
of my paintings were forged and
brought into the market. Though I
had heavy losses due to this, my
work reached many people even
though as forgeries. I got a name.
Then I changed my style. Like before,
I was working on folk beauty, folk
dance and folk music. I reduced that
kind of work and brought some
modernity into my paintings. I’ve
been giving an abstract touch to the
figurative paintings so that it does not
look realistic.
Have some artists influenced
you deeply?
Yes, first of all it is my guru, Rang
Roop Sahab, then it was Tilak Rajji.
Then there are old masters like
Picasso. Then our own M F Hussain.
Any new exhibitions coming
up?
Yes. There is a big show in June
at the Museum Art Gallery, behind
the Jehangir Art Gallery.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
What are you going to exhibit in
your next exhibition?
The theme that I am working on
is the same – beauty and music, but
in a different way.
What is the starting point and
what is the conclusive point of a
painting?
Sometimes, I get inspiration about
a subject. I sketch the idea at that
time itself. Then I make a final sketch
and develop it on a canvas.
How do you select the themes
and ideas that you like to depict
through your paintings?
When I see anything interesting,
like a labourer working or
motherhood is seen in a woman. I
mull over developing the same some
time after seeing the scene so that it
reaches out to the people in the right
perspective.
For example, we go to a music
party, we think about developing the

scene in the form of a painting. Ideas
come from life.
What is the kind of painting
schedule you follow?
I come to the studio at 12.30 in
the afternoon. I work till 6 in the
evening. I have my lunch before
coming. I may rest for half an hour to
one hour. Then I go for yoga classes
for one hour. I come back at 7.30-
8.00 and continue to work till 10
o’clock.
What is the significance of
colours in your paintings?
I don’t use gaudy colours. There is
some attraction due to it. But I don’t
use these colours often.
However, if the subject demands, I
do use them, my choices are earthy
colours.
What is the intentional effect of
colours in your paintings?
The colours should be soothing to
the eyes. There should be a cooling
effect even though I use warm
colours. There is a way of using the
colours.
What is the technique and style
that you follow?
I do oil paintings but like water
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
colours. That means I use more oil
in the colour.
Is there any difference between
your earlier works and now?
The work that I do now is faster.
Previously I used to do detailed work.
Now I produce better work with less
treatment since I paint semi-abstract
paintings today. It is not a detailed
treatment and it is not gaudy.
What inspires you to paint on a
particular subject?
This is really in our mind. There
are certain subjects we cannot start
working due to lack of time. But the
moment we get the time we start
doing it.
What do you think about
today’s artists?
Art has become a very
big field now. More
newcomers are coming into
it today. They are all good
talented. It is not like before.
Previously, artists used to be
mature and then their art
would have gained strength.
Today, it has become a
commercial field. Today, art
is not produced, artists are
produced. Previously,
people had to look for artists.
Today, the place is
swarming with them.
What is the current
trend in this field today?
Unlike before, there is so
much work today. Sales are also less
since production is more.
If not a painter, what would you
have been?
(Ha, ha, ha…) I wanted to become
a painter and a singer. I became
both. As a painter, I could start
earning early. As far as singing is
concerned, you need the right
opportunity and a proper break. I got
to paint early for banners and
hoardings to book covers and
posters. Once in Mumbai, get-up
designing, publicity designing, etc.
came up. There were more
opportunities in that direction. We
95
 About the artist
Sumit Kumar Thakur
Date of birth: 11 October 1977
Qualification: MFA
Solo Exhibitions:
Pragati Maidan, New Delhi
Maharaja Palace, Ludhiana
UID Art Gallery, Kanpur
RECREATING PAST
Group Shows:
Swarn Jayanti Exhibition, Kanpur
University
“Chitranjali”, Kanpur Club, Kanpur
“Triveni Mahotsava” Allahabad
Lalit Kala Academy-2004,
Lucknow
“Kala Vithika” Kala Mela, Kanpur
Regional Exhibition, Lalit Kala
Akademi, Lucknow.
Camps and Demo
B.N.S.D. School, Kanpur
Demonstration on portrait
conducted in Egypt. The Gallery of
Art, Kanpur.
Artists camp at Art Mall 2009.
Mobile: 09307070649,
09889702233

none other than Muzzafurpur-based

artist Sumit Thakur who is well
settled at work in Delhi.
Excerpts from interview:
Why have you chosen
Egyption or Greek theme in your
work?
I have studied the Egyptian and
Greek civilisation well. I have spent
hours together in the library and
lived it the way the people of the
ancient civilisations did. I love to
paint murals as it extends my talent
towards sculpture. To bring out the
same expression, I blend with the
modernism in my murals. Art was
very good in the past as it is of
urals as lofty as three today, the creation and the themes

M
Meet an artist storeyed building walls, a of the creative expression are very
scene of Egypt or Greece close to reality and much more
whose work or India – one attractive to the viewer.
encompasses the wonders when
one gets a When you paint, your
history of human glimpse and theme is completely
evolution and keeps gazing at changed – comment.
all the massive When I paint the canvas,
expresses the craft engraved I do it in oil or acrylic. It’s a
pangs of modern and painted taking the delightful work. The
era as well. viewers to the olden times
yet footed firmly in present.
disjointed, naked figures
with no shadows engage
By Pratima Sharma The efforts of the art are well with the issues of the
In the midst of darkness, she is waiting for light.

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 97

time. According to me, ‘creation’ is
the bondage of expression with the
real picture in view – figurative or
natural. But when I create murals I
blend the Greek aesthetic impulses
with the touch of modern society.
What technique do you use in
both types of your work?
When I paint a canvas, my
favourite colours are earth colours –
blue, crimson, green, ochre, etc. and,
as for murals, I use soft blocks,
cement and plastic paints.
98
Say something about yourself.
I was born and brought up in a
farmer family. Out of three
brothers, one of them helps my
father in the family. Two of my
brothers are well settled in the
cinema scene set-decoration. My
wife is also an artist as well as a
mother of two sons – Tanishq
three years and Prince one. I
hope to build their careers as
artists also.
When did it strike you that
you must also become an artist
and who uplifted you?
I remember when I used to go
out in the fields I was attracted to
nature trying to explore it. I came
upon a path of creation.
I was in class VI when I was
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
attracted to posters and banners. So
I used to spend my time in a
stationery shop in my village.
But when in high school, I met a
portrait artist who charged Rs 100 to
teach me but I could not pay him so
much. Then I met an army-retired
painter who charged Rs 30. I worked
with him for two years and painted
signboards.
Then I was encouraged by my
teacher, Dalip-sir, who really guided
me well. I completed my regular BFA
and MFA from Kanpur University.
Last but not the least, I am inspired
by Satish Gujral.
What is your dream of art?
To become a senior, famous,
prestigious and renowned artist,
though success is immaterial to me.
My talent and my work both speak
for themselves. I am bound to create
a painting in future which is incompa-
rably to anything in creation. We
 A sportsperson
scaling greater heights.
By Santosh Kumar Biswal
ANURADHA
ON HONOURS
GRABBING SPREE
gold, 48 silver and 38
83
bronze medals in her
kitty for lifetime
achieve ments as a
hurdle racer. Anuradha,
from Orissa is
rejoining her sporting
spree. Just imagine –
she has been
inundated with
medals and bombarded with honours
and felicitations. Yet, she is down-to-
earth, cool and takes things easy.
She always relinquishes the option
of an easy cake walk to her career
and decides to go for a tightrope walk
for bringing glory for her nation and
state.
Starting her sports career from
Rourkela, one of the steel cities of
India, she put her shoulder to the
wheel with hard work and has
reached national and international
championships. Despite some bumpy
rides in her journey, she always tries
not to be cowed down by odds. She
has had some great victories against
her rivals, whether it is at the state,
national or international levels. As
she has been associated with Nalco
100
Sports Cell, her appetite to nourish
her budding the sports talents is
being fulfilled. Be it the Open Asian
Championship, Thailand, in the year
of 2000 or the recent SAAF Athletics
at Kerala, Kochi, where she bagged
gold for the 100 m Hurdles, she is
confident in the field. Passing through
hurdles on and off the fields, her
contribution to the nation has been
remarkable.
Excerpt from an interview:
You have set a number of
national and international records
in hurdles which have fetched you
medals after medals. How do you
explain your feelings of such
victorious voyage?
Yes, no doubt, success has given
me immense pleasure and is the
motivating factor for me to perform
better and better.
At what age did you start your
career in sports and what
difference do you feel between
that day and today?
It was the year of 1985. At the age
of 12, I started my athletic carreer in
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
the field event of 100m. 200m, high
Jump and long Jump in the Orissa
state championships. In those days,
professionalism in sports was less in
Orissa. Today, sports is considered
as a professional carreer. The type
of coaching, field and competitions
have been increased manifold.
How do you differentiate the
game when you play for your own
state and the country?
Frankly speaking, when I am on
the field I do not find any difference
whether I am representing the state
or the country. My only aim is to win
the race.
What’s the stand of our Indian
hurdlers in the international arena,
especially of our women?
In Indian women hurdlers, I have
the national record of 13:38 seconds
which is comparatively nearer the
Asian best. However, in the world
scenario our record is not very
impressive. Our women have the
talent but resource constraints like
proper coaching and proper diet are
playing havoc in this context.
 Who is your idol in hurdles that the promotion of sports. Dr Lalit doctor can produce better results in
you have been inspired by and Kumar Bhanot, secretary of Athletic major international competitions.
why? Federation of India and M.L. Dogra
My idol is P.T. Usha, whose 400m of Athletic Federation of India have You are able to set the national
hurdles national record is yet to be taken a personal interest in arranging record by clocking 13.38 sec in
broken in the national competition. training camps before any major 100 m hurdles in New Delhi. How
Her dedication and commitment to international meets. I feel the number were the preparations before so
the sport inspired me to break the of training camps in the event of that you stunned the competitors
400m hurdles record. hurdles either abroad or India with a and the spectators as well?
foreign coach, massager and sports Before the New Delhi event in the
Who is your coach now and year 2000, I had set in my mind a
who was your first coach to push target to better the national record in
you to perform such feats? 100m. hurdles. I took rigorous
Now my coach is Arun Kumar training under the Russian coach in
Dash and my husband Paramananda Ukraine for two months. As the
Routray. Panchanan Gantayat was Russian coach Dr Yuriy Ogorodnik
my first coach for the National was himself a hurdler and sprinter,
Championships in 110m hurdles. his coaching helped me a lot. I had
achieved my best 100m and running
You have claimed seven timing was 11.62 which in turn
national records in 100m hurdles resulted in creating a national record
and one time at the National with a time of 13.38 sec. in 100m
Games Record at Ludhiana. And hurdles.
your continuous work in the
sports has brought 83 gold, 48
silver, 38 bronze medals which is Career landmarks of Anuradha Biswal
remarkable and a rare milestone
2008 SAAF Athletics Kerala, Kochi 100m hurdles Gold
for a sportsperson. So what are
4 x 100m relay Silver
your suggestions-cum-prepara -
tions to the newcomers in the
2008 Interstate, Bhopal 100m hurdles Gold
same field?
Represented 2nd Asian 100m hurdles Gold
My sincere suggestion for the
All-stars meets, Bhopal
newcomers is that they should
believe in hard work and
2007 National Games, Guwahati 100m hurdles Gold
commitment. Nothing can be
Federation Cup, Kolkata 100m hurdles Gold
achieved without sincerity. Only such
Represented Asian Grandpix, 100m hurdles Silver
people succeed who do hard work
Thailand Open National – Tata
with a sense of sincerity.
Open National, Chennai 100m hurdles Gold
Why don’t our women succeed
2006 Federation Cup, New Delhi 100m hurdles Gold (NMR)
in international competitions?
Represented Asian Grandpix, 100m hurdles
What are the drawbacks and how
Thailand, Manila 1.100m hurdles Gold
can these be overcome?
SAF Games, Colombo 2.4 x 100m relay
Our women are no less than of
Represented Asian Games, 4 x 100m relay
other countries. They need to be
Doha
geared up with proper incentives
including coaching facilities.
2005 Circuit National, New Delhi 100m hurdles Gold
Federation Cup, New Delhi 100m hurdles Silver
Players from foreign countries
Interstate, Bangalore 100m hurdles Silver
are being trained in an innovative
National Open, Hyderabad 100m hurdles Gold
manner to get better results. Are
the initiatives taken by the
2002 National Games, Hyderabad 100m hurdles Gold
Government of India sufficient to
nourish the budding talents in
2002 Asian Games, South Korea 100m hurdles 4th
hurdles?
I feel there are significant changes
2002 Circuit National Meet, 100m hurdles Gold
when the question comes regarding
New Delhi (national record)
the assistance from government for

102 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 You have done M.A., LLB and
2002 Open National Meet, 100m hurdles Gold are continuing MBA along with
New Delhi (national holding a prestigious post in the
Record) sports cell of National Aluminum
Company (NALCO). How do you
2002 Represented Asian Grandpix, 100m hurdles Participated balance these activities with sports
Manila Philippines & Thailand from India with a shinning performance?
My entry into NALCO in the year
2001 National Games, Ludhiana 100m hurdles Gold (games 1993 was based on my performance
record) in sprots. Academic qualifications are
equally required to be a complete
2001 Federation Cup, Chennai 100m hurdles Gold person. So I completed my post-
graduation, LLB and continuing my
2000 Salwan International Athletic 100m hurdles Gold MBA. I really thank my employer
Meet, New Delhi NALCO which is very co-operative.
Mr. Ashok Mohanty, assistant sports
2000 Asian Open Championship, 100m hurdles Gold director from Orissa Government has
Thailand been an inspiring and driving force
all the time. My sports officer Mr
2000 Asian Championship, Jakarta 100m hurdles & Rajib Mishra also encourages me to
4 x 100m relay continue my athletic career and
educational activities as well. Besides
2000 Interstate, Chennai 100m hurdles Gold I have also appreciation for my
(national husband who not only encourages
record) me but also takes care of all activities
concerning homework.
2000 Federation Cup, Lucknow 100m Gold
(national What do you do as a junior
record) manager in the sports cell, Nalco,
Bhubaneswar?
1999 SAAF Games, Sri Lanka 100m hurdles Silver I am proud to be a NALCOnion. I
am concentrating on the athletic field
1999 Open National, Bhopal 100m hurdles Gold to bring laurels for the state, country
(national and for NALCO. I also encourage my
record) colleagues to excel in their respective
sports and games.
1999 Federation Cup, Lucknow 100m hurdles Gold
(national record) Do you watch movies? Who are
your favourite actor and actress?
1999 National Games, Manipur 100m hurdles Gold Yes! My favourite actor is Amitabh
Bachchan and favourite actress is
1998 Open National, Kolkata 100m hurdles Silver Madhuri Dixit.

1998 SAAF Athletics Championship, 100m hurdles Silver What is your favourite dish and
Sri Lanka 4 x 100m relay Silver how do you spend your leisure
time?
1995 SAAF Games 100m hurdles Bronze I spend my leisure time playing
with my daughter Anshika (Kim) who
1992 Asian Open Championship 100m hurdles & Silver is now a four-year-old and listening to
at Singapore 4 x 100m relay Bronze music. Sometimes, I love to do
Jr. Asian, New Delhi gardening. We

1987 National Championship, 100m hurdles Gold ● Seven times national record
Jalandhar holder in 100m hurdles and one time
● National games record at
1986 Jr. Nationals, Nagarkoil 100m hurdles Gold Ludhiana: 13.38 sec.
● Life time achievements: gold –
1985 NRTS National meet 100m hurdles Gold 83, silver – 48, bronze – 38.

104 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

Bridal
effect
This beautiful
lady in different
make-up,
apparels,
jewellery and
hairdos appears
all set to take the
plunge and tie
the knot.

Hypnotic glance:
Ready to set thousand
ships on fire. Mark the
neck and hair studded
with jewellery. (Inset)
Flowing traces.

Regal bearing: How much good jewellery and

hairstyle can make beauty more beautiful is
no imaginary concept. (Inset) Closer look at
the hairstyle.

Sexy smile: She appears

ravishingly sensuous adorned with
the special jewellery and hairdo.
(Inset) A striking pose.
 What an
effect! The
decorated suit
and the curls
falling over the
shoulder leave
nothing more
to be added,
making the
lady singularly
charming.

Crowned beauty:
Isn’t she ready
to compete with
the best of the
best?

Irresistible
simplicity: This
alluring apparel
covering the head
with bejewelled
forehead; bangles
and tattooed hand
apparently sets the
lady apart.
Apparently, she has
come down to the
earth for someone
special.

Self-satisfied look: The intricately

made hair with embellishment of
jewellery renders her superbly sexciting.
Make-up: Beauty Bells
B-1/6, Ashok Vihar, Phase-II,
New Delhi. Pin: 110052
Ph: 011-27251254, 011-27221746
 What is dyslexia?
Certainly not a
disease, just a
problem which can
be sorted out.
By Maharaaj K. Koul

DISTRAUGHT
DYSLEXIA DOSSIER
● Ankita understands what the
teachers teach but doesn’t express
herself well.
● Bhushan can talk about
computers but cannot remember
multiplication tables.
● Chanda overreacts or under-
reacts to everything.
Warning signals. These signs
don’t necessarily mean there are
problems. But they shouldn’t be
ignored. These are concerns
expressed by parents of children who
have a specific learning disability
called dyslexia.
And if you’re looking for a medical
solution, there isn’t any since
dyslexia is not a disease. Each
dyslexic person’s difficulties are
different and vary from slight to very
severe disruption of the learning
process. There is no total cure but
the effects of dyslexia can be
alleviated by a specialist’s teaching.
On the positive side, there’s a
hypothesis that the neurological
anomalies also give some dyslexic
people special visual, spatial and
lateral thinking abilities, which enable
them to be successful in a wide
range of careers.
Remember, dyslexia has nothing
to do with intelli -
gence levels. What
dyslexic people
require, most of all,
is a faith in their
abilities. And the
right learning
environment. The
list of those who
have excelled
despite dyslexia is
extremely long:
Tom Cruise, Steven Speilberg,
Harrison Ford, Richard Branson,
Henry Ford, Leonardo da Vinci,
Pablo Picasso, Walt Disney,
Beethovan, Mozart, Winston
Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, George
Bush, Alexander Grahman Bell,
Thomas Alva Edison, Galileo and, of
course, Stephen Hawking. Among
writers and poets of repute you have
W. B. Yeats, Agatha Christie, John
Irving; and among athletes, Carl
Lewis and Nolan Ryan. They have all
created history.
DEFINITION OF
DYSLEXIA
The exact definition of dyslexia is
still debated. Just as there are
innumerable dyslexic children, there
are perhaps hundreds of definitions
of dyslexia. Etymologically, the term
dyslexia is composed of two Greek
words — dys meaning ‘ill’ or ‘difficult’
and lexis meaning ‘word’ — literally
means ‘poor reading’. A
comprehensive, complete definition

108 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

adopted by the Orton Dyslexia
Association, renamed the
International Dyslexia Association,
states dyslexia is a neurologically-
based, often familial disorder which
interferes with the acquisition and
processing of language.
Varying in degrees of severity, it is
manifested by difficulties in receiving
and expressing language, including
phonological processing in reading,
writing, spelling, handwriting, and
sometimes arithmetic. Dyslexia may
also affect short-term memory,
concentration, personal organisation
or sequencing.
There is not one dyslexic profile,
not one standard set of
characteristics. Some experience
eye-hand coordination difficulties,
while others are able to solve
intricate puzzles and designs. Some
seem to be in a world of their own,
while others listen attentively and are due to genetic predispositions, people who have reading disability
very aware of their general maternal stress, infections or either have larger right hemispheres
surroundings. Some cannot decode exposure to toxins. Dyslexia can be than left or hemispheres of equal
the simplest word, while others can inherited, passing from generation to size.
read almost anything but have generation. Brain regions rarely work in
trouble comprehending what they Brain studies of infants and adults isolation. The left hemisphere is
read. have revealed that 65 per cent of the usually the side that is tuned to
What causes dyslexia and how population has larger left hemispheres details and is involved in analysing,
does it manifest itself? Dyslexia is while 24 per cent has larger right reasoning and sequencing. This has
both a congenital and developmental hemispheres, leaving 11 per cent an impact on how well students do in
condition. It is a neurological disorder with hemispheres that are the same such academic areas as reading,
which creates anomalies in the brain. size. Research indicates that a spelling, mathematical reasoning and
These anomalies bring about varying greater than expected number of computation and writing. The right
degrees of difficulties in the
usage
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Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 109

 hemisphere deals with information
more holistically, seeing the big
picture. This side controls our spatial
orientation, appreciation of art and
music, our organisational skills,
picking up social cues and our
recognition and expression of
emotions.
In poor learners, there tends to be
a greater reliance on one
hemisphere. Undue reliance on the
right hemisphere by the dyslexics
leads to difficulties in reading,
spelling, memorising facts, maths
calculations and writing essays.
Researchers believe they have
identified the gene that causes
dyslexia. The results were produced
by a team led by Dr Albert Stein at
IN POOR LEARNERS, the Welcome Trust Centre for Human
Genetics, Oxford, UK, after studying
THERE TENDS the DNA in blood samples from 90
TO BE A GREATER families containing dyslexics. In an
RELIANCE ON ONE exclusive report, The Independent
reported that samples were taken
HEMISPHERE. UNDUE from parents and children who both
RELIANCE ON THE had the condition. Scientists used a
new technique to mark and track the
RIGHT HEMISPHERE genes to discover the approximate
BY THE DYSLEXICS sites of genes for dyslexia.
LEADS TO DIFFICULTIES
IN READING.
THE COMMON GENES
Dr Stein found three common
genes that were associated with
dyslexia in most of
these families. The
section of
chromosomes, the
study believes, is
linked to dyslexia
problems close to
the genes that
control immunity.
This suggests there
may be something
110 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
unusual with the mother or child’s
immune response that there is a
susceptibility to attacks from
antibodies which could be a cause of
dyslexia.
Phonological awareness or
processing appears to be a common
area of difficulty for people with
dyslexia. This implies the
understanding of sounds connected
with written language and the ability
to manipulate them so that words and
sentences can be created. Dyslexics
have trouble remembering the
sounds of letters. They might know
the individual sounds of letters, but
they have trouble putting them
together in the correct sequences.
Blending sounds is a major area of
concern. What causes this difficulty
with isolating, identifying and
manipulating sounds?
THEY DON’T
UNDERSTAND
Most young dyslexics don’t know
why they’re different, why they find it
more difficult than their classmates
to recognise the difference between
‘b’ and ‘d’, ‘p’ and ‘q’, between
‘yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’, ‘left’ and
‘right’, ‘6’ and ‘9’ and various other
letters and numerals.
Many dyslexic children are told by
teachers and even parents that they
are lazy or stupid. They begin to
believe they are indeed what they are
seen to be. The children become
utterly frustrated. No matter how hard
they try, they fail where their
classmates and other not-so-bright
children succeed.
Dr Stein hopes the new study will
help lift the stigma faced by dyslexia
victims. He says the condition is a
prime cause of
depression. Some education
childhood
THERE IS NOT ONE
authorities only recognise the DYSLEXIC PROFILE,
condition when there’s a three-year
delay in reading sometimes when
NOT ONE
children are 10-12 years old and it STANDARD SET OF
is then too late, warns Dr Stein.
However, this study opens
CHARACTERISTICS.
exciting possibilities for SOME EXPERIENCE
establishing an early test for EYE-HAND
dyslexia problems, focusing on
research into a system of nerve COORDINATION
cells in the brain called DIFFICULTIES, WHILE
‘magnocells’. These cells react to
the slight change in light that OTHERS ARE ABLE
children need to recognise print. TO SOLVE INTRICATE
The research into a dyslexic’s
response to stimuli like light shows PUZZLES AND
their magnocells system functions DESIGNS.
less effectively than that of non-
dyslexics. This problem may be
caused by the faulty immunity gene
as the system of magnocells in the neurologist. If the kid makes repeated
brain is very susceptible to attack or spelling errors, reversal of letters or
damage. sequence of letters in reading and
How does one identify a dyslexic writing as ‘was’ as ‘saw’; ‘on’ as ‘no’;
child? Early symptoms are found in ‘quiet’ as ‘quite’ etc., he or she needs
pre-school children as soon as they specialist consultation. Your alarm
start to read and speak. But more bells should start ringing if your kid
often than not, parents tend to uses spoonerisms such as ‘par cark’
overlook these symptoms, thinking for ‘car park’ and has difficulty in
that the kid will improve as he or she remembering nursery rhymes. It is
grows up. It is this lack of awareness time then for assessment by a
that has made dyslexia a global qualified psychologist.
problem. Early detection, followed by What does an ‘assessment’
specialised training, can solve half mean? A full
the problem. assessment with
If the kid is good at something but an educational
has surprising difficulty with others, psychologist tests
if he or she cannot remember two or for underlying
more instructions in sequence, is ability — thinking
clumsy in some respect but good at skills, organising
manipulating things, has uncertainty and planning using
about right or left-handedness, or has words and patt -
difficulty in dressing at the pre-school erns, vocabulary,
stage, it is advisable to see a reading, writing,

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 111

 THE DYSLEXIC STUDENTS
NEED A MUCH MORE
ACTIVE AND INTERACTIVE
ROAD TO LEARNING. THE
“ORTON GILLINGHAM”
APPROACH TO
READING AND SPELLING
WAS A PIONEER IN
CHAMPIONING THE USE
OF MULTI-SENSORY
METHODS.
spelling, memory, and sound skills.
Thereafter, a profile of strengths and
weaknesses is made, which can tell
an experienced psychologist whether
the child is dyslexic and what should
be done to help.
SPECIALIST TEACHING
NEEDED
Once dyslexia is confirmed, the
child, depending on the severity of
the condition, needs appropriate
specialist teaching to overcome the
problem. If dyslexia is identified
during ‘Key Stage I’, a great deal of
support can be given even in the
normal classroom. Teaching that is
112
good for dyslexic children
is also good practice for
others. However, the
problems are compounded
for the dyslexic child from
‘Stage II’. Such a child
needs to be withdrawn from
the classroom for targeted
specialist teaching that will
enable him or her to be
included later in the full
curriculum in the
classroom.
The dyslexic students need a
much more active and interactive
road to learning. The “Orton
Gillingham” approach to reading and
spelling was a pioneer in
championing the use of multi-sensory
methods. This method involves
students to see, hear, say and write
what they are learning providing as
much of reinforcement as possible.
“After a lot of research, I conclu-
ded that there is a need for specia-
lised teachers at the pre-primary and
primary levels. The teacher should
have a sound base in phonetics, with other limiting conditions, but may
the ability to segment and clip onset occur together with these conditions.
sounds, and then blend them so as to A recent BBC press report said
form words,” says Dr Arlene Sonday, dyslexia was an emotional construct.
former vice-president of the “It is not true,” declares Dr Sonday.
International Dyslexic Association, Dyslexics are not disabled; they are
and author of the Sonday Systems indeed differently abled, but our
— an acclaimed teaching system for society labels them as failures.
dyslexic children. Although dyslexia is lifelong,
This will help individuals with dyslexia frequently
children across the respond successfully to timely and
board. This is also appropriate intervention.
the basis for the so- Most teachers who have worked
called Sonday with students with dyslexia
System, which is a acknowledge the fact that they are
kind of teaching aid privileged to spot amazing talents in
for teachers and them.
parents. “The basic They can have uncanny abilities
idea is to give the to fix mechanical things. They have a
affected students general sense of curiosity, an ability
an understanding of to look at things differently, a good
the structure of sense of humour, and a capacity to
language,” claims embrace life with an enthusiasm that
Dr Sonday. most of us seem to lose with
Dyslexia is not a maturity.
result of lack of If the academic system can
motivation, sensory handle differences, and respect the
impairment, inade - beauty of diversified patterns of
quate instructional ability and behaviour, the world would
or environmental be a better place for the dyslexic
opportunities, or children. We
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
Tear this page along the perforated line and send it to the under mentioned address. Winner will be announced in the June issue.

Your crush has winked at you!

Q1 What do you do?
a. Smile and turn away
b. Stare at him like he has two heads
c. Wink back

Your best friend told you that your

Q
2 crush likes you. Yes! But what are
you going to do about it?
a. Tell him that you like him
b. Say: Yes, right
c. Ask him out

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 You have had an extremely romantic If your parents didn’t let you date,
Q
3 dream about your crush.
a. I can’t remember dreams!
Q
7 what would you do if your crush
asked you out?
b. False a. Say that you parents wouldn’t let you, but
c. True say that you’d try to get them to change
their minds.
b. Say: Uh, with you?
Uh Oh! You see the most popular
Q4 (and bitchy) girl in school flirting with
‘your man’. What do you do?
c. Totally say yes, then sneak behind your
parents back.

How much would you say you

a. Walk over and say to the girl: (name of
the most unpopular guy in school) Says
he loved your date last week!
b. Say: Oh well, she’s going to get him,
Q8 stare dreamily at your crush, on a
scale of one to ten?
no use trying. a. 6-10
c. Try to get your crush to come over to you. b. 0-4
c. 5

What does your crush wear?

Q5 a. Clothes that will impress me (I know
because I told him to wear it)
b. Something that he got off the bargain rack
Q
9
You are talking to your crush, and
you are about to ask him out, when
your ex comes over and starts
c. The newest styles picking a fight with him. What does
your crush do?
a. Starts saying stuff like: She’s mine! She
Do you think about your crush?
Q
6 a. Maybe... Ok I daydream... satisfied?
b. Oh yes, As much as I can.
c. Why would I waste valuable mind space on him.
dumped you! Even if he knows he’s going
to get clobbered.
b. Walks away mumbling: It’s not worth it.
c. Hits your ex.

Prove that you are aware of this trivia.

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only have one obvious right answer? Since we don’t know
about your personal life, these questions could work out, Name
depending on one’s personality and interactions. And you Age
could probably come up with better answers! Address

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 STRINGSTHAT
MESMERISE A peep into the
innovation and style
of a veena player.
By Rema Prasanna

his evening must rate

“T
as one of the best
musical experiences of
my life. The lashes of
eyes, hand signals and
body gestures between
the players heighten
expectancy. The
intricate weaving to the
melody, rhythm and
tonal colour against the deep
resonance of the bass strings
elevates the inner ear. A world of
sound encompasses the air, layer
upon layer of melodic invention swirls
around and quite literally fills one’s
being, an hour and a half seemed like
10 minutes."...Malcolm Baldwin,
British columnist on Shanti's veena
performance in the UK.
Shanti Rao is a well-known veena
player of Bangalore and here is an
extract from a mesmerising sound
and rhythms of a music lover who in

116 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

true spirit spent her lifetime to be with
this wonderful 7-string instrument –
veena, associated with goddess
Saraswati.
Excepts from an interview:
Your beginning and the
inspiration which made to choose
veena instead of all other musical
instruments.
I began my journey with music at
the age of 12. I have learnt vocal
music from T. A. Venkataramayyar,
and veena from Harihara Ayyar in
Madras. In 1969, on moving to
Bombay, my ears fell on the sounds
of the veena being played by none
other than veena maestro Chitti Babu
who was later to become my guru. I
had never heard the veena being
played in that way. I began studying
the veena under the tutelage of Chitti
Babu. On moving to Bangalore in
1973, I commuted to Madras for
veena lessons with Chitti Babu, while
also learning vocal music from R. K
Srikantan and veena from R. K
Suryanarayan and Pallavi
Chandrappa in Bangalore.
Tell something about your
family?
My husband Kishor Rao, being a
cricketer playing first-class cricket for
State of Maharashtra was not
intimidated by a performing artist
wife. He was instrumental in making
me an independent and successful
veena player without the shackles of
conservatism or even radicalism. He
encourages me to take opportunities
as they come and use them to the
best of my abilities. Also, team spirit
is most important, he says. Soloists
also have a percussionist to rely on
to complete the picture.
My two daughters are settled in
life and this is what they have to say,
"Our mother’s music was always a
divine touch to our lives. It was like a
prayer to strengthen our faith in the
holy spirit and to follow the Hindu
ritualistic practices like celebrating
the important festivals all through the
year, although we led a life which
was unorthodox in many ways.
Your first solo concert ?
In 1976, I made my solo veena
debut at the Ramanavmi celebrations
in Chamrajpet. It was well received
as to enable other numerous
engagements to follow. With time and
experience, I have found it interesting
to interact with other soloists like
Dr M. Balamurali Krishna (vocal), J.
Vasanth Kumar (sitar), Konarak
Reddy (guitar), T. Menezes
(keyboard), as and when opportunity
arose.
Veena is an instrument played
in different styles and the regional
influence on that factor?
The predominant styles are
Mysore, Tanjavoor, Andhra and also
Thiruvananthapuram. Each one has
its own uniqueness and it is difficult
to differentiate on style and variety. It
is a blend of traditional and
contemporary method which appeal
to the masses.
Performances abroad and the
special moments of playing before Performances on home
Queen Elizabeth II? platform?
I have toured extensively around Back at home, I have performed
the world and I treasure those in almost all the most prestigious
experiences. I have to say here that it sabhas and received praise,
was a privilege for me that I could accolades and innumerable media
perform before Queen Elizabeth II. I coverings.
have experienced this wonderful
feeling to be part of those music Awards and recognitions?
lovers – both Indians abroad and I have received the following
people unfamiliar with Indian awards and I consider it all as a
classical music and/or the divine reward for the years of determination
instrument. I have toured Singapore, and hard work.
Indonesia, Malaysia, UK, Germany "Best Debutante" in 1980 from the
and USA several times and prestigious Madras Music Academy.
performed at important functions. "Best Veena Player" in 1996 from
On my tour of the US, I performed the Indian Fine Arts Society.
in 30 cities and was repeatedly invited The title "Mahati Mohini" by
to perform in UK for 3 consecutive Dr M. Balamurali Krishna.
years where I played before the Mahati is the name of the veena
audiences and the response was sage Narada believed to have played
electrifying. On another tour, I visited on.
Cornwall, a small town in UK. I can Vocational Excellence Award from
recollect that the town was so small, the Rotary Club of Bangalore.
and had my doubts whether the
crowd would appreciate/ understand Other achievements
the intricacies of music. That night, I Established the Veena Vani
received 3 standing ovations and was Institute of Music, Indiranagar,
talked about in the village some 3 Bangalore in 1996.
years later. I can even remember the Headed a 10-member all-women
constable on beat applauding me on band in 2002 consisting of a Pancha
the streets as "a very nice concert Veena team, Keyboard, bass, Indian
ma’am.” and Western drums and vocals.
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 117
 Was invited by Kuldip Nayar, UK
High Commissioner to be a cultural
ambassador of India, having the
distinction of performing before
Queen Elizabeth II.
Received acclaim for my
innovation of the "Double-
stringed veena."
Any memorable musical
experiences?
Played with pianist Mervin Afrika
in UK.
Recorded with Trilok Gurtu at
Cologne, Germany.
Recorded Pulse (fusion music
album) with Shivmani.
Played with Tommy Menezes
(keyboard), Shivmani (drums),
Konarak Reddy (guitar), Imme and
Jerry Demos (bass and drums
respectively) at Chennai and
Bangalore.
Innovation?
I have learnt with rigorous practice
to effortlessly blend old with the new
and the East with the West. But in
mind I am very loyal to the traditional
style of playing veena. I have
experimented on contemporary styles
to perform fusion styles with some
renowned artists such as
percussionist Trilok Gurtu of
Germany, the ace pianist Mervyn of
the UK, guitarist Jery Demos of
Germany and the popular
percussionist Siva Mani, having
performed in various shows from
Jazz Yatra festival in Bangalore to
UK and Germany. I have played the
veena for musical directors
Hamsalekha and R. N.
Nagendra for which I have
modified my instrument
incorporating a blend of Mysore
and Tanjore styles.
I am dedicated to the traditional
form of veena but I have tried a few
innovations on it to keep with the
changing times. The "double-stringed
veena" received acknowledgements
for its wonderful tonal quality and
received acclaim from Kunnakudi
Vaidyanathan, and M. Balamurali
Krishna. I have created 7 albums and
2 fusion music albums.
I was a visiting professor of Music
at Bangalore University. I have
started Veenavani Centre for Music
in Indiranagar, Bangalore to train
those who have this passion for this
wonderful instrument.
Shanti has an attitude that is
raring to go to create that extra
special that would strike a rhythm
with the people. We

RAY OF HOPE
A thin ‘Ray of Hope’ can lead
our thoughts towards the sky.
When we reach so high,
Suddenly, we find the ray vanished –
to find ourselves face to face with reality,
Our dreams and wishes shattered all around us.
Again, like hope –
Reality will also lead us to a state of depression.
We come out of that state somehow,
Subdued, yet very hurt,
Vowing never to hope again.
But, soon, true to human tendency
We start searching for a “Ray of Hope”.
– Latha

118 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 Log on to Life
The blooming and busting of romance on the Net.
By Anuradha Bhagi

A
re you still with the damn computer?" Sheetal usernames that are used when all the most
jumped out of her skin when she heard her commonly used ones are exhausted. Therefore, they
mother shouting at her. "Mama...I...I'm just never even needed to tell their names to each other.
finishing my work," she stammered in reply Some strange instinct made her introduce herself as
to her mother's outburst. "I'm afraid this will Ramya, and he introduced himself as Karan.
not do, Sheetal. You must stop spending so They agreed to chat once a week. Soon, the
much time in front of the computer. Your week turned into days, and the days into hours.
board exams are coming up, and I want you to Sheetal had no idea who the person was. All she
concentrate on your studies. Understand?' knew (that too from him) was that he was a boy,
"Yes, mummy," Sheetal replied meekly and maybe even a man (he refused to reveal his age)
turned to shut her computer down. and that he was wonderfully nice when he
It was a blessing in disguise for Sheetal A particular chatted with her. He said lovely things
that her mother was not computer savvy. person in the like, "I've been waiting for you for the
She was not very educated and could chat room had past 2 hours online. I couldn't concentrate
hardly make out when Sheetal played interested on my work" and "My mind only thinks
games, when she chatted or when she Sheetal, and both about you these days." Such statements
was actually completing a project online. exchanged their made Sheetal's heart jump with joy.
Sheetal, for her part, used the computer personal

A
only for the first two reasons. There was e-mail addresses. fter all, she was a young 17-year-
no project she was required to complete Of course, the old who was just learning how
online. Whatever project she was personal e-mail beautiful it was to be a beautiful,
supposed to do, she did along with a addresses they young 17-year-old. She could not wait to
group of other students, and the research used did not log on to the computer every day. She
associated with the project was disclose their rushed home each evening after school,
completed in school itself. Sheetal was names. finished the snacks which her mother gave
actually hooked to the computer these her and hurried to her father's room,
days because of a different reason. She had found a where the computer was, to start chatting. When
friend through chat while she logged into one of the questioned by her mother, she replied that it was
popular chat rooms, and she found chatting with him essential for her school projects for her to be online
an irresistible, exciting and thrilling experience. for such a long time. This became a regular feature.
It had started when Sheetal had gone to her Soon, her mother started suspecting that
friend Dana's place, who introduced her to the something was wrong. Some probing and
world of Internet and chatting. Both of them enjoyed questioning followed. Her mother realised that
the evening exploring the Internet and had started Sheetal was not using her time productively on the
chatting using an Internet chat room. A particular computer. However, what Sheetal did on the
person in the chat room had interested Sheetal, and computer was still unclear to her. She started
both exchanged their personal e-mail addresses. Of objecting to her daughter's long hours on the
course, the personal e-mail addresses they used did computer, threatening to tell her father about it.
not disclose their names. They were those fancy Sheetal knew better than to get her father into the

120 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

picture. She tried to please her mother by shutting
down the computer and going back to her studies
whenever her mother objected.
B
ut it was difficult to concentrate. Studies were
so boring compared to the exciting life she had
left in the other room. But she had no choice.
To prevent her father from knowing about the
situation, Sheetal pretended to study. She fared
badly in all her internal exams, and her teachers
started getting worried. Sheetal, however, continued
to enjoy her favourite pastime, neither being aware
of the consequences nor the effect it would have on
her or her parents. This became a daily practice.
Sheetal was soon addicted to the computer,
especially to her friend, whom she had never seen.
There were occasions during their chats when they
discussed how they looked and Karan described
himself as tall, athletic, chivalrous and dashing. He
made himself sound as every young girl's dream
boy, and that is what he became to Sheetal too.
She spent all her time thinking about him and
drifted off to sleep dreaming about him. On her
part, she sincerely described how she looked and
also told him that she was 17. For some weird
reason, neither brought up the topic of the school
she studied in, or where they lived. It seemed
immaterial, now that they understood each other so
well, or so she thought.
One day, when Sheetal was engrossed in her
accustomed favourite occupation
of chatting with Karan as usual,
her mother called out to her.
She reluctantly told Karan,
'BRB' (be right back) and went
to find out why her mother
had called her.
"Sheetal, today, you must
help me in the kitchen. Desai
uncle and aunty are coming
home for dinner," her mother
said.
"Oh, no," groaned
Sheetal despairingly. To
help mother in the
kitchen itself was an
SHORT
STORY
appalling task, but worse was the fact that
the horrible Desai uncle and aunty were
coming home for dinner. Aunty was okay –
she did not mind her coming, and in fact,
she even liked her at times. But the
obnoxious Mr Desai? How could anyone
tolerate him, let alone the fact of inviting him
to dinner? Sheetal was even surprised how
he was such a good friend of her parents.
Her father and Desai were colleagues for
a long time, before Desai resigned from the
job to set up his own business, which made
him a millionaire in no time. But he was still
in touch with her parents and met them regularly.
H
er parents had great respect and admiration
for the couple. They could never tire of
speaking of Desai and his benevolence, and
how he had not let pride overcome him after he
earned millions, and so on. Sheetal was tired of
listening about his success stories all the time. The
worst twist to this story for Sheetal was that they had
no children, and they liked Sheetal very much. They
brought her expensive gifts every time they visited
her, advised her on her studies, insisted that she
come home more often and generally made life
uncomfortable for her. And now, this was the couple
that was coming home to dinner that night, making
her slog in the kitchen to prepare a lavish meal for
them, leaving her precious and dear leisure activity
rudely interrupted.
Cursing inwardly, Sheetal proceeded to bid
goodbye to Karan, who seemed unhappy to see her
go. She promised to return to him within half an
hour. She then hurried to the kitchen, thinking that, if
not anything else, this was a good opportunity to
please her mother.
As she chopped the onions for the salad,
she thought of Desai. Short, plump and
balding, he was hardly a suitable match
for Mrs Desai, who though not a great
classical beauty, was definitely a very
attractive and elegant woman.
When husband and wife stood
together, they seemed to
be of the same
All that Sheetal
could make out
that he was a
young and
handsome man
of her age.
height. In fact, Sheetal even wondered if Mrs Desai
was the taller of the two. Also adding to his physical
lack of appeal was the fact that he was extremely
dark with protruding front teeth and a pot belly.
Sheetal wondered how he had managed to marry
such an attractive woman as
Mrs Desai and how Mrs Desai could bear him.
W
hen she had broached the subject to her
mother a few months ago, her mother had
reprimanded her for being so narrow-
minded, also scolding her for giving undue
importance to physical aspects rather than the true
worth of the person. "Do you know what a caring
and loving husband he is? Or what he had done
once to save Mrs Desai's life? Her father, pleased
with his gallantry, offered his daughter in marriage
to Desai. “Never speak of them again in that tone,
Sheetal, or your father will be furious," her mother
had said.
Well, it was none of her business, she thought
and shrugged. Her business was just to help her
mother for a while, pretend to be happy when the
dreaded Desai arrived with his pretty wife, speak
with them for a while, and then sneak away to chat
to Karan.
With this plan in mind, Sheetal hurried on with
122 Woman’s Era
her work, finishing off all the chores her mother
asked her to do. Soon, Mr and Mrs Desai arrived,
he as always, loud and booming, and calling for
Sheetal, and she smiling quietly in her petite
manner. Sheetal managed the formalities without
seeming too uncomfortable. She squirmed
awkwardly though when Desai demanded that she
should sit next to him for dinner. Her excuses that
she had her school project on the computer to finish
were silenced with a stern glance from her mother.
Besides, her father was also present, and she would
have had to explain what project she was doing to
him and maybe even to Desai. What a plight! Oh
no, she would prefer to have dinner and let them
leave and then sit peacefully for some time with her
beloved friend.
However, she managed to creep into her father's
room while everyone was busy praising her mother
for the pineapple souffle they were having for
dessert. Eagerly, she logged in to see if Karan was
there, and if he had left any endearing messages for
her. To her disappointment, Karan was offline. She
waited for a while, fidgeting with the mouse,
imploring him mentally to come online. But, he was
still offline. Why was he not here when she had
promised that she would be back in just half an
hour? It was more than two hours now since she said
that to him. She left the computer switched on, and
went back to the sitting room to join the others.
Again, after a while, she went back to the computer
to check his status, but he continued to be offline.
This went on for some time, till Mrs Desai noticed
that Sheetal kept disappearing into the other room
constantly.
"What is it, Sheetal? Is something wrong?"
Mrs Desai asked.
"No, no, aunty, nothing. I was just just
.completing some work," Sheetal stammered.
S
heetal's mother glared at her, the others looked
at her questioningly. Her father opened his
mouth to say something. Luckily for her, at that
moment, Desai's mobile rang and everyone's
attention was diverted. Sheetal heaved a sigh of
relief. She mentally scolded herself for her haste.
She could have waited till the guests had left.
Thankfully, they were leaving just then. After the
usual formalities of 'lovely dinner' and 'thank you so
much...we should do this more often' (No, not
again, thought Sheetal), the guests finally left and,
while her parents were seeing them off, Sheetal
rushed to the computer and anxiously looked for
Karan.
He was still not there! What had happened to
him? Where had he vanished suddenly? He had
seemed reluctant to go, and she had promised him
● April (Second) 2009
that she would be back. Then where was you so long?"
The next day
he? Why was he not waiting for her? Ramya: "My mom was giving me one
Sheetal was bitterly disappointed. Though while on chat, of her usual lectures."
there was not much time for her to chat Sheetal demanded Karan: "How boring! Tell her that you
now, because her father was at home, to know why have someone waiting for you eagerly.
she still could have at least had the Karan was offline Then she may understand."
chance to bid him bye and complete their for such a long Ramya: LOL (Laughing out loud) How
customary "sweet dreams" and time and had not long have you been waiting?
"goodnight kisses.” She finally left him even wished her Karan: It seems forever, dear.
offline messages asking why he was not goodnight. She Sheetal blushed and smiled. These
online and telling him how much she vented all her were the sweet nothings she wanted to
missed him. There was no alternative now anger, also telling hear. They filled her with a thrill she could
for her but to shut down her computer and him that she was not describe in words. Smiling, she was
go to bed. Sheetal was deeply disturbed about to type something, when she heard
very anxious.
and furious with the Desai couple for her mother calling her. Sheetal sighed.
spoiling her evening. ‘What was it now?’ she thought.
Quickly, she typed out the words "BRB, honey,

T
he next day while on chat, Sheetal demanded
to know why Karan was offline for such a long
time and had not even wished her goodnight.
She vented all her anger, also telling him that she
was very anxious because of his absence.
"Sorry, dear. I had some pressing commitments I
could not avoid," was Karan's reply.
Sheetal was hurt, but Karan managed to cheer
her up again, promising that this would not recur,
and that if he had to be offline, he would inform her.
Things were again normal between the two of them,
and Sheetal continued to enjoy her chats.
One day, Sheetal returned from school by noon
and, as she entered the living room she was taken
mom's calling," and rushed to the kitchen. Her
mother held out a cup of tea and some hot potato
bhajjis and said, "Give these to Desai. Poor man,
he's been waiting for so long now."
Sheetal fumed inwardly. Why did her parents
have to go on appeasing him like this? Not saying a
word, but showing her dislike in the way she took
the snacks from her mother, Sheetal moved to the
living room where Desai was seated. He was not on
the sofa. His laptop was placed on the centre table.
‘Thank goodness,’ thought Sheetal. Anyway, if he
were here, he would again start talking some
nonsense with her.

aback. It was Desai seated comfortably on the sofa.
He greeted her affectionately and went back to work
on his laptop. She turned her face in disgust, and
went up to ask her mother what Desai was doing at
this time of the day in her house.
"He is waiting for your father. They have to go to
the bank together for the loan which your father is
trying for, to start his new venture. Mr Desai is using
his influence to get the loan sanctioned for your
father. Your father is finding it difficult to get the loan
sanctioned because he has so many already and
because it is a big amount. Mr Desai's assurance
will make the loan get sanctioned faster," said her
mother, adding, "This is one more favour which
Mr Desai is doing for us now. We are truly indebted
to him."
Sheetal sighed when she heard all this – one
more reason to praise and talk endlessly about
Desai. Well, it was again not her business; she
shrugged and walked away to her father's room to
begin her lovely routine of chatting with Karan. She
had informed him that she would log on early today.
Karan was online, waiting for her and welcomed
her warmly.
Karan: "Honey, I was waiting for you. What took
S
he placed the plate of bhajjis and the tea cup
next to the laptop, and inadvertently looked at
the screen. Oh, Desai also seemed to be
chatting with someone, she thought – intrigued –
when she saw the screen. The words "BRB, honey,
mom's calling" caught her attention. They seemed to
be familiar words, she thought. Apprehensively,
Sheetal looked at the screen closely, and received
the jolt of her life; a shock so rude that left her mouth
agape. Her world seemed to tear to bits suddenly.
She hesitantly scrolled up on the screen to see the
remaining part of the chat – and what she saw
made her almost faint:
Karan: "Honey, I was waiting for you. What took
you so long?"
Ramya: "My mom was giving me one of her usual
lectures."
Karan: "How boring! Tell her that you have
someone waiting for you eagerly. Then she may
understand."
Ramya (laughing out loud): How long have you
been waiting?
Karan: It seems forever, dear.
Ramya: BRB, honey, mom's calling.
How did her chat come on Desai's laptop? How

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 123

in the world did he have the same chat as she had?
How was it possible that Karan's ID was on his
screen? Unless...unless. Desai was Karan! How
could it be? Her mind started spinning. Was she
chatting with Mr Desai all these months? And did he
know that he was chatting with her, the same
Sheetal who he thought of as a daughter? She could
not digest the fact that she was almost in love with a
man she hated. What irony this was! How could he
do this to her? Sheetal ran out of the room back to
her computer. Indeed, Karan's status now showed
"Idle."
T
here must have been some mistake! How could
Desai be Karan? Desai, who was fleshy and
flabby, short and ugly, who had no sense of
humour, most unromantic, and did not possess even
one characteristic which Karan had – could he be
Karan, who was dashing, dynamic, romantic and
with a great sense of humour? It was impossible! Or
was it?
What did she know about Karan? Only what he
had himself told her. He had said that he was
young, handsome and tall, and all those other
wonderful things that he had said he was. She had
no reason to suspect that he was only saying what
she wanted to hear. She had no reason to suspect
that he was fabricating
stories and creating a
pseudo-character. She
had no reason to
believe that he was
lying. Oh, how could
she have allowed
herself to be cheated like
this!
Sheetal was consumed with grief. She watched
Desai strolling in the garden, speaking incessantly
on the mobile. She was filled with such intense
despair and anger at the same time, that she almost
ran up to him to find out the truth. She controlled
herself with great difficulty. However, she could not
control the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
What a fool she had been! She felt faint with self-
pity, remorse, anger and helplessness. That she had
loved a fictional character made her feel disgusted.
Such a waste of emotions! The more she thought
about it, the harder she found it to believe that her
beautiful, romantic world had broken to bits in no
time.
She slowly went back to the computer and
continued to stare blankly at the screen. Suddenly,
the screen came to life again with Karan coming
back online and saying, "Honey, still not back?
What's taking you so long? I am desperate here."
On seeing this, Sheetal was almost hysterical with
fury. Hoping against hope, that there was some
mistake and Karan was not Desai, Sheetal carefully
peeped into the hall. Indeed, it was Desai again at
the laptop, intently typing something. Sheetal looked
back at her computer. The line "It looks like your
mom is not going to leave you today" popped up.
She watched as he continued to type some more
endearments and finally signed off promising to talk
to her the next day. There was no mistake
whatsoever. Desai was Karan and Karan was
Mr Desai!
Truth is always bitter, and when Sheetal faced up
to this horrible truth, she was shattered and left with
nothing but bitterness. Suddenly, she lost all her
enthusiasm and interest in life. Since the time she
had started chatting with Karan, her whole world
had revolved around him and their chats. Her daily
chat routine was what propelled her to move
forward, complete her work fast, ignore her studies
and other activities and be glued to the computer.
Now, with that chat gone from her life,
she felt at a complete loss and didn't
know where to turn. She continued to
remain inattentive and insipid in class.
Her teachers had almost given up hope
on her now. Her friends were tired of
asking her what was wrong. She
refused to share her distress with
anyone, withdrawing more and more into a
shell of her own. This went on for a
whole week.
All of a sudden, Sheetal decided
that enough was enough. She felt that
“We will never discuss this again too.
I just hope that it does not happen to
anybody else.”
she must move on with her life and studies, else do you chat with, uncle, apart from
"Why, uncle,
if not for anybody else, at least for her Ramya?"
why? Why did Mr Desai looked as if he had been hit.
mother, who was toiling hard day and
night just for her and for her father. Filled you cheat me He staggered and fell heavily onto his
with an unexpected and rapid sense of like this?" chair.
resolve, Sheetal determined to pull back Desai's head “What... what are you saying?" he
her strings and get back all she had lost. was hung in stammered. And then Sheetal exploded.
shame. He could Tears flowing down her cheeks, she

H
owever, there was one unfinished not speak for revealed the frustration and
task that she wanted to complete some time. disappointment she had gone through
before she closed this chapter Slowly, he raised from the moment she came to know his
forever in her life. She went back to the his head, and she identity. She told him about all her
computer room and logged on to chat. Just saw tears feelings and how she had got carried
as she had expected, there were dozens away with his sweet nothings. She told
in his eyes.
of offline messages from Desai asking her him everything, and ended with "Why,
what was wrong, pleading with her to uncle, why? Why did you cheat me like
come online, demanding to know why she was not this?" Desai's head was hung in shame. He could
on chat, apologising for anything that may have hurt not speak for some time. Slowly, he raised his head,
her knowingly or unknowingly, and plenty of sweet and she saw tears in his eyes. He began to speak,
nothings and romantic endearments. Sheetal read the "Sorry is not the word I can use at this moment,
messages with no feeling whatsoever. The same Sheetal. I know you will never forgive me. But, do
messages that had earlier transported her to a you know why I created this pseudo-character? It is
fantasy world now failed to even bring a smile on her because, all through my life, people have hated me
face. She was not even angry now. for this appearance. I know people secretly laugh at
However, she felt that she had to know the reason me behind my back at my ugly face and belly and
behind the whole drama. She shut down the appearance. I know even you despise me."
computer and went up to her mother to lie to her for

the last time and made up a story about going to a
friend’s house to copy some notes. She then took an
auto and went straight to Mr Desai's office in a posh
business area of the city. She did not even know
what she was going to say to Desai. All she knew
was that she wanted the truth and she wanted him to
know the truth so that he would not dare to do this to
another girl.
She had been to Desai's office only once before
that too with her parents. Desai was quite surprised
to see her. He welcomed her warmly into his cabin.
However, she noticed that he did not seem very
pleasant. He appeared uneasy and anxious. And
she was sure the reason was that she was not
logging on to chat. His laptop was on his desk and,
without a word, Sheetal walked up to view the
screen. Taken aback by this action of Sheetal, Desai
hastily tried to close the screen but not before
Sheetal had noticed that the chat window was open.
She faced him now with full confidence, and
asked, "You also have the habit of chatting, uncle?"
Desai muttered something in reply. Not bothering
to understand what he said, Sheetal continued,
"With your busy schedule I am surprised that you
find the time to chat. Who were you chatting with
uncle?" She stressed 'uncle.' Desai looked extremely
uncomfortable. He tried to change the topic by
saying, "Let's see what we can get for you to eat."
Ignoring this remark, Sheetal coldly asked, "Who
S
heetal winced uncomfortably when she heard
this. "The only people who really admire and
respect me are your parents. Not even your
aunty. Do you know what kind of a life we lead in
our bedroom? She tries to adjust to living with me,
but not a day passes without me feeling that she
married me out of compulsion. Is it my fault that I am
born ugly? The way she looks at me with sympathy
because she knows I am not good-looking, makes
me mad. She married me at the insistence of her
father, not because I had saved her life and she was
grateful. We just pretend to be a happily-married
high-society couple. She wanted a smart, handsome
man like Karan in her life, and she got me. That is
why I am trying to be the Karan she wanted at least
in fantasy." He suddenly looked up in horror,
realising that he had spoken too much. "Will
you...will you...?" he left the rest of the words
unspoken. Sheetal understood and said, "No,
nothing of this will ever be shared with anyone else.
This is just between the two of us, and it will stay that
way. In fact, we will never discuss this again too. I
just hope that this does not happen to anybody else."
"No, no, Sheetal, " Desai hastily replied. "I will
never do this again. I understand what a great
blunder I had committed."
"Thank you, uncle. Karan and Ramya have
logged out of chat for life. It's time they logged on to
their real lives." We

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 125

 PEDIGREED DOGS
DEMYSTIFIED
There’s nothing original about these most sought-after breeds.
Here’s why. By Maneka Gandhi
any of you look for dogs
M
as pets. Unfortunately,
most people go in for
pedigreed pups – not
because they know
anything about them but
because they think that
their own status will be
enhanced! This must be
the only country in the
world where the owner of a
pomeranian or Alsatian thinks that he
is a superior being – instead of
through his own achievements!
What is a pedigreed dog? It is an
invented species – take a perfectly
natural dog, what you would refer to
as jungli, and then work on it for 20
years of selective breeding to make
the end product into a bizarre shape,
size and colour and there you have a
pedigreed dog. Suppose you want a
short, black, long-haired dog. You
keep breeding black dogs and killing
those that are tall. Keep intermating
brother and sister of the shorter dogs
till the size becomes short. Then kill
the ones that have short hair and
keep mating the ones that have
longer hair till, after so many years,
you will get the short, black, long-
haired dog. Along the way you will
have killed at least 5,000 or more
dogs which did not fit your vision.
The Indian contribution to the
pedigreed field is the Rampur hound,
the ultimate joke played by the
Nawab of Rampur on dog breeders.
He kept experimenting with strays
until he achieved a uniform size and
then entered them as breeds in dog
shows where they won awards due
more to his status than theirs. And
the Rampur hound was born.
 Breeding pure dogs is the ultimate
cruelty. Their size, their structure,
their self-defence systems are all
tampered with to suit somebody's
strange notions of beauty. As a
result, they suffer from all sorts of
genetic diseases.
Dalmatians and pomeranians are
prone to deafness – in fact all white
dogs are partially deaf and some are
completely deaf – poodles to
epilepsy, Lhasa apsos to fatal kidney
failure and cataracts, Alsatians to hip
dysplasia (in fact they have stopped
breeding them all over the world
because every Alsatian has this
problem of hind legs collapsing), and
bulldogs to heart disease.
As a result of inbreeding to create
and maintain their characteristic
appearance, each breed has many
genetic defects. The basset hound's the most wretched conditions, would be no more homeless dogs at
short and thick forelegs have chronicrepeatedly inbred and sold for the mercy of dog-catchers and death
elbow dislocation. The standard that fantastic prices. Thousands are killed squads. Do not keep pedigreed dogs.
demands their eyes to be soft,sad because they are born with Be Indian. Keep Indian. It is kinder
and sunken creates a large gap deformities due to inbreeding or else on the pedigrees as well as our own
between the lower eyelid and eye they have become either shy or dogs to discourage breeding. If you
which catches dust and debris. aggressive. So they are killed even already have a pedigreed pet, feed
before they turn one year old. Is it the dog on the street and put a collar
their fault or that of those who have on it. If you are looking for a dog, you
DOGS’ PHYSIQUE turned beautifully made living need go no further than your own
Similarly, the dachshund's short creatures into toys? street corner. I have 15 in my house
legs are inadequate supports for the Nor do pedigree certificates count and they are intelligent, clean and
dog's long straight back, So spine for much. Most breeders and dog very faithful.
dislocations are common causing shows hand out C-class certificates
enormous pain when (which means that they
they move. No engineer think the dog is pedigreed ADOPT AN INDIAN DOG
would design a bridge As a result of but they don't know who Once upon a time it used to be
with so much roadway inbreeding to the parents are)because very fashionable to wear Japanese
between its support legs the owners want to own a and Swiss nylon – even though it was
and expect it to stand.
create and paper that says that the hot and sticky and made you itch.
Take the bulldog. Its maintain their dog is pedigreed. Of such Now, Indian cotton is so fashionable
wrinkles and huge skin characteristic foolishness is a pure-bred and the really rich people wear
folds become the site of appearance, made. designer khadi ! The same thing with
infection. Its nose is It is specially wrong to dogs. So many fashionable people I
required to be set back each breed support breeding in India know only keep Indian dogs in their
deeply between the eyes has many because millions of house: from ministers and top
causing severe breathing genetic natural Indian dogs, industrialists to singers like Shaan
problems. A bulldog lives better suited emotionally and Shiamak Davar, DJs like Cyrus
a short life and one that
defects. The and physically to the Broacha, film stars like Kajol, Om
is a constant struggle basset climate and country, are Puri, Nagarjuna, Mahesh Manjrekar...
against suffocation. hound's short killed by municipalities or every day my shelter has so many
Then there is the die of starvation or cruelty people coming to adopt dogs that we
and thick only because they are
breeder's cruelty to deal have taken from the streets , cleaned
with. Every city has a forelegs have homeless. If even one in up and vaccinated. Be fashionable:
slum area where these chronic elbow 50 people were to adopt adopt an Indian dog and you will be
dogs which have usually dislocation. a beautiful Indian dog rewarded with a loving and loyal best
been stolen are kept in from the road, there friend forever. We

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 127

RAPE
THE STIGMA STILL

PREVAILS
Why does the victim
of this horrendous crime feel
victimised by society?
By Bhavna Keswani
 he parents of the rape victim
T
of the infamous Maulana
Azad Medical College case
of Delhi had initially refused
to file a police complaint
fearing their daughter would
be ‘tainted’ for life. The
accused in the Shanti
Mukund hospital rape case,
in an attempt to save his
neck, proposed to marry the victim
saying that she was now ‘impure’ and
no one would marry her.
A victim was abandoned by her
husband as soon as he discovered
that she had been sexually
assaulted.
Rape victims are stigmatised:
Thousands of rapes happen in the
country every year but most of them
go unreported, the reason being very
conspicuous from the above
instances that rape victims feel
stigmatised. Of all the crimes, rape
is the only crime where the stigma
and the suffering lie with the victim,
not the attacker. Not only does she
face physical and psychological
trauma, but is also stripped of dignity
and humanity.
Women on whom this heinous
crime is committed often do not come
forward for fear of being isolated or
stigmatised. They prefer to remain
silent, and this silence downplays
their suffering and renders them
invisible. Many victims have
confessed that they feel the fear of
their friends and relatives coming to
know about their being raped more
than the immediate fear of impreg -
nation or getting HIV or other STDs.
For any woman, in any part of the
world, the memories of her being
raped are so strong and painful that
they keep recurring and haunting her
all her life. There cannot be a more
traumatic experience for a woman
than this and that she is stigmatised
for it, does more to annihilate her
self-esteem.
Societal antipathy towards
victims: Society has often unfairly
made many rape victims feel that
either they contributed to the attacks
or that they are somehow be littled,
merely by being victims. More often
than not, the woman’s honour is put
on trial rather than the alleged
rapist’s actions.
Women who allege rape are
commonly subjected to disbelief,
public scrutiny of their sexual past or
shamed with the stigma of being
dishonoured or tainted for admitting
that they have been raped. A woman
is made to feel that she herself is to
be blamed for what happened to her,
that her actions or way of dressing
must have been provocative. Instead
of standing by her in her moment of
distress, society completely shuns
her. This antipathy forces the victim
to hush up rather than come out in
the open and talk about the crime.
This silence often increases the
feelings of victimisation. Women go
about rebuilding their lives, joining
society, caressing their children,
trying to smile – all the while hiding
the horror they experienced. But the
scars of brutality on them never heal.
Many times this psychological trauma
is too hard to handle, disrupting their
normal lives and resulting in breaking
of relationships or marriages or
creating serious physical/
psychological health hazards.
It’s not easy even for those who
come forward: Some women show
great courage and come forward to
report the crime but unfortunately
they don’t get a very encouraging
environment in our country. Many
victims are sceptical about the way
the police investigate the issue. Such
crimes are not taken too seriously by
the police and at times it is seen that
the law-keepers themselves don’t
hesitate in turning into law-breakers.
The harrowing Mathura rape case
where a minor was raped by
2 constables on duty and the case in
which a teenager of Mumbai was
raped by a police inspector in the
police station reveal why women feel
scared of going to report the crime.
Many times, the officials don’t seem
to cooperate and refuse to even file
FIR. So many procedural hurdles are
created that the victim feels further
harassed.
Apart from that, proper investi -
gations are the foundation to the
success of every case. One of the
major stumbling blocks in prosecuting
the rapist is the lack of consistent
attention to this issue by the investi-
gators. A major challenge that
investigators face in collecting sexual
violence evidence is a lack of skills
on how to pursue such evidence
effectively.
They often receive no training on
the interviewing methodology for rape
victims, and the majority of investi-
gators are male. Often, many investi-
gators come from backgrounds
where they have not had any
experience with this issue or they
believe that this is not one of the
crimes that deserve serious attention.
Many investigators, though fully
equipped with necessary skills to
investigate cases, lack training and
direction on how to elicit information
about sexual violence from wit -
nesses. Without consistent and
sustained investigative work – the
diligent and painstaking collection of
information relevant to prove cases,
coupled with a thorough analysis and
processing of witness statements –
trial attorneys are not able to
effectively prosecute the rapist.
Even the courtroom environment
is not encouraging since the victims
are subjected to hours, days and
weeks on the stand being cross-
examined by several defence
 counsels, sometimes going over the
same questions again and again,
making them feel violated for a
second time. They have to endure
days of repeated, detailed ques -
WHAT IS ALL THIS? tioning about the intimate details of
NOTHING BUT the trauma they had to face. Though
VIOLENCE. these questions are necessary to
prove guilt, the manner in which they
WHEN WE are asked is extremely insensitive
MISCHARACTERISE and inhumane. The victim often feels
humiliated or outraged at being
RAPE AS A CRIME asked in a public setting about being
AGAINST raped.
Also, these trials go on and on
HONOUR OR and, like it has been said many times
CUSTOM, RATHER before, justice delayed is justice
denied. During this period, the victim
THAN A CRIME OF can either be coerced into taking
PHYSICAL HARM back the case or, even if the verdict
does come in her favour, it loses its
TO THE VICTIM, meaning.
WE ARE
Rape is not sex, it’s violence:
MINIMISING ITS We often hesitate to talk about rape
SERIOUSNESS. because it’s a sex crime and in our
society we consider it taboo to talk
about anything sexual. Rape is
certainly not about lust, but an act of
power and control. It is basically an
act of a weak and perverted mind.
Rapists are not governed by
sexual desire, but by the need to
overpower and control, to let out their
pent-up frustrations. Bhanvari Devi
was gang-raped by the so-called
upper-class men because she was
trying to stop child marriages in
Rajasthan. This crime was not
committed as a result of soaring
hormones, but to unleash power over
her, to tell her that if she did not stop
meddling in their affairs, they had a
means to suppress her. She was
raped because her rapists wanted to
‘teach’ her a lesson and to showcase
their superiority over her.
What is all this? Nothing but
violence. When we mischaracterise
rape as a crime against honour or
custom, rather than a crime of
physical harm to the victim, we are
minimising its seriousness.
The stigma will go away only by
changing attitudes: Yes, there is
shame in rape and it rests squarely
with the attacker, not the victim. The
130 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
stigma should be on the predator and
not on the prey. This is possible only
if society is willing to change its
perceptions and attitudes. How can
society blame the victim only when
there have been instances of even
3-month-old infants as well as
80-plus women being raped? Are
such victims capable of provoking
their rapists? So this mindset of
society that women only are
responsible for the rapes that happen
to them is nothing but hogwash.
On the issue of rape, this country
needs a sea change, a paradigm
shift. We need to move out of those
dark ages in which rape victims were
whispered about and stigmatised. It
requires significant courage for a
rape victim to come forward and to
publicly speak about the sexual
assault against her. It isn’t easy for
her but her courage should be
applauded and she deserves all the
moral support of society. And there
are no immutable laws that societal
stigmas can’t change. The stigma will
only break if more and more women
are willing to break their silence and
report this heinous crime.
Rape victims deserve no
stigma: As rape is such a personal
and despicable act, it is natural for
the victims and their families not to
talk about it. But perhaps in the long
run, it works to the advantage of the
perpetrator and to the detriment of
the victim. Rape victims deserve no
stigma, but they certainly do deserve
our moral support. We should rather
rejoice in their survival from the most
violent kind of crime and help them to
overcome their trauma.
This is only possible if society
sheds its backward and antipathetic
attitude towards victims of sexual
assault, and encourages them to
come forward to report this
horrendous crime and get those
dangerous criminals put behind bars.
We can eradicate this crime
completely only when there are no
sick minds in society but, till then, we
can at least instil enough fear in
those perverted minds to deter
them from this despicable act called
rape. We
 Beacon of Light irrespective of colour, caste, creed and religion.
Dr Bindu Garg (Head, The company is enriched by the able and experienced
Department of Reproductive hands in Board i.e. Mr. Jyoti Narain, Mr. M.L. Sehjpal
Sciences) at Neelkanth and Mr Kesar Singh, as the directors. Mr Jyoti Narain is
Hospital Gurgaon is one of to head every operation of the channel, from marketing
the leading IVF practitioners strategies to devising HR policies, vision strategy and
in the country. She has over finance policies.
25 years experience with her. “With this medium, we will highlight all aspects of
She completed her Post human life. Our USP will be to cover authenticity factor.
Graduation in Reproductive Through this channel, we are ready to give all channels a
Sciences from Monash University Australia under the tough fight since we will present the news of and for the
able guidance of Dr Allen Trousen (an ICON in the field people,” believes Mr Jyoti Narain.
of Reproductive Sciences). He further says, “We will allow people to develop
For an IVF (Test Tube Baby) centre to be successful a their own opinions and decisions on the basis of the facts
laboratory with advanced equipments is a must”, says Dr we present. I am proud to have a team of leading young
Bindu. Neelkanth Hospital has one of the most advanced and dynamic people, who have already made a mark for
and Hi Teck IVF labs in North India with pressure themselves in TV journalism and believe in taking
Gradiant Technology. The IVF lab is one of the few labs responsibility to change the way viewers look at news
in the country fitted with HEPA filters and CODA and entertainment. The vision of the channel is clear
Towers making the environment zero bacteria and from the tagline itself – EK Umeed (A ray of hope).”
infection free to up to 2 micro viruses. “We provide total
infertility solutions and complete women care under one
roof,” adds Bindu. Dairy India-
Healthy India
‘P7 News’, says Balika
Channel in Vadhu Anandi
Hindi Launched Dairy India, the
Pearls Broadcasting emerging name in the Milk
Corporation Pvt. Ltd on and allied Dairy product
27th March launched its industry launched its
National Hindi News advertisement campaign
channel – ‘p7’, first of its wherein the lovable child
kind in India as well as artist Avika Gor who is performing as Anandi in Balika
Internationally. Veteran actress Dimple Kapadia was the Vadhu, is introduced as Brand Ambassador.
Chief Guest on the occasion. Her smiling face and attractive introduction of the
P7, a Noida-based Hindi news and entertainment products “Dairy India” will help the company to reach
channel promises to offer the public news, information the hearts of every Indian, says the R. S. Dixit, CMD
and entertainment dedicated to common people Gopaljee Dairy Foods Pvt Ltd.

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Across
1. A serious disease in which growths of cells
form in the body and kill normal body
cells. The disease often causes death (6)
4. An animal, especially one that is large or
dangerous, or one that is unusual (5)
7. Chemical symbol of Chromium (2)
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9. The place on a computer where new email
messages are shown (5)
10. A line or pattern that looks like a series of
letter W’s as it bends to the left and then
to the right again (6)
12. A sudden quick movement of a muscle,
especially in your face or head, that you
cannot control (3)
13. Abbreviation for compressed
natural gas (3)
14. A system that uses radio waves to find the
position and movement of objects, for
example planes and ships, when they
cannot be seen (5)
17. Used for calling attention to a surprising
thing (2)
1. A chemical element, found in all living
things, existing in a pure state as
diamond, graphite and
buckminsterfullerene (6)
2. A person who uses the Internet
a lot (7)
3. A speech or piece of writing praising
somebody/something very much (6)
4. To come to a place with
somebody/something (5)
5. A person with the power or influence
or make judgements and decide Please accept my entry for the
what will be done or accepted (7)
6. Containing poison; poisonous (5) crossword competition. I
11. Showing the time using hands on
a dial and not with a display of subscribe to all the rules and
numbers (6)
13. Compact fluorescent lamp (3) regulations of the competition.
15. Either of the two long parts that stick
out from the top of the body
and connect the shoulders to the Name
hands (3)
16. A person who rides horses in races,
especially as a job (6)
Down

18. A short description of a book, a new
product, etc., written by the people who
have produced it, that is intended to
attract your attention and make you want
to buy it (5)
21. A unit for measuring electrical
resistance (3)
24. Used to express fear or surprise (3)
25. An amount of money that you pay for
professional advice or services (3)
26. An infectious disease, especially of
children, that causes fever and small red
spots that cover the whole body (7)
27. To put somebody/something in a
particular position, especially when it is
done gently or carefully (3)
18. Something that makes you feel calm or
relaxed (4) Address
19. The longer bone of the two bones in the
lower part of the arm between the elbow
and the wrist, on the side opposite the
thumb (4)
20. To heat a liquid to the point where it City Pin
forms bubbles and turns to steam or
vapour (4)
22. Highest Common Factor (3)
24. A long thin sea or freshwater fish that
looks like a snake. There are several
types of eel, some of which are used for
food (3)
✂

134 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 WIN UP TO
Winners of Crossword - 149
Rs15,000 IN CASH PRIZES

Divya James, Goa. Sunain N. Kandhari, Bangalore. Archana Prashant Kumar,

Ankleshwar.

Rekha Ravi Sa Bharti Kaushi

ran, Bhopal. S. R. Sreedevi, Bangalore. k, Gurgaon.

Priti Milind Mas Krantikumar D

hidkar, Nagpu Krishan Kumar, Panchkula. eshpande, M
r. umbai.

Neelam Mehro Kalpana Nan

tra, Lucknow. A. Pushpa Nayagarm, Coimbatore. avati, Mumba
i.

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 135

152 Crossword
F A M
CWinners
I
O Nof Crossword
TES
L

- 149
T
Y P H O T O

h, Aligarh. Goa.
Dr. Latika Sing
M. Vijayalakshmi, Salem. D. Braganza,

apatnam. Delhi.
ohan, Visakh Umesh Gupta, New Delhi. Girish Gupta,
New
K. Chandram

al, Faridabad
. abad.
Nisha Aggarw
Vinita Singh, Satna. Taware, Hyder
Vinod Pramod

Bhagwagar,
Burdwan. Shirley Cyrus
Yvette Beale, Parvathy Rajeev, Kerala.
Ahm ed abad.

136 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

152 Crossword
F A M
CWinners
I
O Nof Crossword
TES
L

- 149
T
Y P H O T O

h, Aligarh. Goa.
Dr. Latika Sing
M. Vijayalakshmi, Salem. D. Braganza,

apatnam. Delhi.
ohan, Visakh Umesh Gupta, New Delhi. Girish Gupta,
New
K. Chandram

al, Faridabad
. abad.
Nisha Aggarw
Vinita Singh, Satna. Taware, Hyder
Vinod Pramod

Bhagwagar,
Burdwan. Shirley Cyrus
Yvette Beale, Parvathy Rajeev, Kerala.
Ahm ed abad.

136 Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009

 WIN UP TO
Rs15,000 IN CASH PRIZES

Winners of Crossword - 149 Rules and Regulations

A prize of Rs 15,000 will
be given to the person
sending an all-correct
solution. In case there are
more than one sender of an
all-correct solution, the prize
amount will be divided
among the first 30
competitors chosen by lot.
Subhash Jain
, Haryana. Jai Parkash Gupta, Ghaziabad. The decision of the manage-
ment will be final and
binding. Entries must be on
the crossword printed here.
Photocopies will not be
accepted.
Entries must be sent so
as to reach Woman’s Era
by 31 May 2009, by
ordinary post. No corres -
pondence in this matter will
Ram Dhari G
be entertained.
oel, Noida. Ravinder Goyal, Bahadurgarh. The contest is not open
to the employees of Delhi
Press. Every entry should
be accompanied by the
sender’s family photo. If you
are declared a winner, your
family picture may be
printed in the oncoming
issue. Please send a signed
declaration that you have
no objection to printing your
Sanjay, Agra. A. K. Aggarwal, New Delhi. family picture.

Answers to Crossword-149

n w in
Across: 1. Nudge, 5. Comb,
7. Duo, 8. Lonely, 10. Urea,
w i o rd
12. Indefinite, 15. BR,
16. Bystander, 19. NE, 21. Air,
22. Bureau, 23. Odd, 24. Dent, n
i ur w
27. Crime, 28. Glib
W yo wer
Down: 1. Nul
4. CD, 5. Cou
9. Enemy, 11
.
lify, 2. Don, 3.

SN
nt, 6.
, 13 .
Be
IS
ak
T,
EEL,
er ,
14. Ion,
ride, o n p o
. Bead, 17. St
15. Broad, 16 22 . Bond,
, 20 . D o,
18. Dirt
25. AL, 26. PB

Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009 137


Q&
What do the terms “bake” and “bak-
ing blind”, mean?
When we cook food by dry heat, it
is known as baking. Baking can be
done in an electric oven or a gas tan-
door. We can also bake special kinds
of Indian breads in clay ovens- the
heat being provided by burning wood
or coal.
The method of baking certain
items without filling, like flans, tarts
and pastry cases is known as baking
blind.
The terms “boil”, “blanch”, and
“steam” are all different methods to
A
cook food. What is the difference
between them?
To blanch means, putting food in
boiling water just to either whiten or
remove skins from certain vegetables
and fruits.
To boil means to cook food in boil-
ing water till tender. To boil food on a
slow flame is called to “simmer”.
To steam certain vegetables
means to cook in the steam which
arises from a pan of boiling water.
Sometimes, when a pan gets badly
burnt, the smell lingers on for a long
time. How can we remove this?
The smell of burnt food from a pan
can be snuffed out by simmering a
few lemon slices in water, or
microwave lemon juice in water for
two minutes.
Kitchen
Queries
QQ
While preparing gravies for the vari-
ous recipes, in what sequence should
the ingredients be added to get the
maximum flavour.
When making gravies for the vari-
ous recipes, put in the ginger, garlic,
and fry for a while. Next, put the
chopped onions, fry till done, then
add your dry spices. This is done
because it is the oil that releases the
flavour from the spices.
Q
While preparing pasta, it is a long
process – boil the pasta, then the
vegetables and then the gravy. Can
we in any way save time and fuel?
Yes, a little time and fuel can be
saved while preparing pasta. When
cooking the pasta, put the chopped
vegetables in the last couple of min-
utes, because vegetables take less
time to cook than the pasta. And we
have the cooked pasta and vegeta-
bles at the same time.
Q
In our Indian cooking, can we always
substitute butter with ghee and vice
versa?
In our cooking, butter and mar-
garine are entirely interchange able
although in certain cases – e.g. in
cakes butter is the better option. As
regards ghee, vanaspati- type ghee
can also be used instead. Butter can-
not always be used instead of ghee
in many Indian dishes – eg paran-
thas, Indian sweets, etc. Though we
can make ghee at home by heating
butter on a low flame in a pan until
the ghee separates
and floats clear on top. The ghee
should be strained and stored for use
as it keeps for a long time without
spoiling.
“Snacking on nuts” is a favourite pas-
time for most of us in the winter sea-
son, but at the same time we are
afraid of increasing the cholesterol
levels in our blood. How safe is this
nut snacking?
Contrary to popular belief, nuts do
not contain any cholesterol. In fact,
no plant food does. Nuts are very
healthy snacks, as they are full of
nutrients like vitamin E, vitamin B6,
folic acid, selenium and viacin. In
walnuts we find the highest antioxi-
dant activity. Almonds and pistachios
are a close second and rich in plant
protein. So “snacking on nuts” is not
a bad or unhealthy habit at all.
Q
Can we prepare chaat masala at
home. If so, how?
Yes, we can make chaat masala at
home, in fact, all the masalas like
garam masala, sambhar masala, etc.
for the chaat masala you will need
1 / cup slightly roasted coriander
2
seeds, 1 / 2 cup red chillies, 1 / 2 cup
roasted cumin seeds, 1/2 cup amchur
powder, 1 tablespoon black pepper,
about 1 cup salt, 1 tablespoon of black
salt. Mix and powder the ingredients.
– Savita Bhargava.
If you have any
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kitchen, write to Woman’s Era.
We shall try to help you
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Q&
My jewellery has to be insured.
Would it be costly? How much would
have to be paid, for insurance?
Kindly inform about jewellery
insurance details.
Jewellery insurance protects
ornaments from all risks, losses and
damages. It is quite cheap. For
jewellery of Rs 1 lakh, you have to pay
a premium of Rs 1,000, only per year.
Go in for jewellery insurance, under
Section 3 of householder policy, which
covers every type of danger.
When a product has an ISI mark or a
food pack carries AGMARK, but is
not up to quality, what happens? Do I
get a new item?
The procedure is different for
A
faulty ISI products and AGMARK
packages. You can get free repair or
replacement, if the product has ISI
marking, but is not conforming to
standards. An AGMARK food pack,
when defective, can be replaced or
you can get refund.
Is it advisable to take insurance for
small gadgets like iron, food
processor and table fan, separately?
Take insurance for big and small
appliances under one policy. A small
gadget, when insured separately,
creates problems. Like the insurance
company may not pass your claim,
unless certain conditions are followed
– the mechanic must estimate repairs
and cost, the surveyor has to come
and approve and finally, depreciation
cost is deducted, which leaves you
with a small sum.
MONEY MATTERS
My daughter has received offers to
act in TV advertisements. Would
there be tax?
Congrats to both the little one and
you! You would be glad to know that
there is no income tax on money
received by a child, solely owing to
her skills, talent or specialised
knowledge.
How much gas is saved by using
small vessels?
If small vessel is put on gas, and
covered with a lid, you can save 20
per cent gas.
My husband wants to pay premiums
for an insurance policy taken in my
name. I am a housewife. Can he get
tax exemption?
Yes. He can claim tax exemption
in the return, every year, for
premiums paid.
Can ordinary spoons be used for
non-stick tawa? I heard they damage
the finish.
A wooden spoon must be used,
as it won't scratch the surface of non-
stick tawa, leading to a longer life.
How can a sewing machine be kept
in fine condition?
Run the sewing machine at only
constant speed, if a motorised one, to
avoid straining the motor. For an
ordinary machine, remove the cloth
fibres with soft cloth. When not in
use, put a piece of cloth under the
presser foot. Make sure the needle
is placed down, through the cloth.
I want to invest in a post office fixed
deposit or a bank fixed deposit.
Which would give more interest? I
also want to know tax treatment
which would save more tax?
The post office fixed deposit yields
7.5 per cent interest, while any bank
fixed deposit may give at least, 8.5
per cent interest money. The tax on a
Woman’s Era ● April (Second) 2009
bank fixed deposit and a post office
fixed deposit is same.
I want to purchase a self-defence
spray for women. Could you inform
me about the product, how it
functions and what the cost would be.
A woman can protect herself
against unruly characters by using a
self-defence aerosol product. It’s a
red chilli pepper spray which, on
pressing the nozzle, stuns the
attacker by producing severe pain
and a hot burning sensation. He is
unable to move for 45 minutes. The
self-defence aersol costs Rs 600 and
is 20 times much stronger than the
red chilli powder, in the kitchen.
I wish to open a public provident fund
account in my new-born daughter’s
name. Can this be done?
Yes, a provident fund account can
be started in a child’s name. You can
enter her name when she is two
years old so that, after 15 years, the
amount turns into lakhs.
There’s a second-hand car,
purchased recently, in our house.
The dealer is now refusing to under-
take repairs as it’s a used car. Do
second-hand cars enjoy a
guarantee?
It has been decreed that a
second-hand car carries a guarantee,
just as a new car. You are within your
rights to claim repairs.
E-mail your queries to:
money@womansera.com
Meenakshi Subramaniam
is a former IRS officer, answering all
your money queries, right from income
tax to supermarket shopping.
Mail your queries to:
WOMAN'S ERA,
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg,
New Delhi-110055.
145
 (February II). I feel this is the right
way to teach the lesson to self-
appointed “moral brigade”. It’s a way
to give a befitting reply to these
goons who are scared stiff of
women’s empowerment.
The response shows how much
people resent the acts perpetuated
by the Sri Ram Sena. It’s a disgrace
on us when politicians that we vote
into power beat up teenagers for
holding hands. Incidents like these
G WOMEN
EDITORIA
L
look good. Articles on tours and
travels are informative and useful for
the holiday managers. Your regular
features and contests for the readers
are a great hit. By contributing to the
reader’s opinions and reactions on
articles of WE, we can have our say
and stand a chance to win a prize
too. To sum it up, Woman’s Era
should be an essential part of every
home. Keep it up!
– Baseer Suleman, Karnataka.

resently,
CHEERS FOR
the entire
world is
INDIAN EMPLOYEE
reeling under
called
and something Almost
S WOMAN give India a very bad name in the rest
P
EMPOWERMENT
d recession jargon.
WOMEN V
ICTIMISIN lady named
Sonu widesprea in economic up its
for meltdown winding
of a notorious headlines financial some company to downsizing
is
ews of arrest been hitting the the news of

N
its drive is sure that
Punjaban
has Media, especiallyents everyday, laying off jobs in the market
months now. developm business
or
Nobody in
is
quite some publishing the

of the world. We common people are

to the real the headlines. So everybodythe
rs, are much spice tomorrow. for
newspape after adding south hitting job will be safe in hand and,
her case from a posh from his/her or she has cost.

SMART &
regarding last November originally hails what he any
happy with retain it at gloomy scenario,
matter. Arrested question luring young wants to ting and
the lady in eeted for time being, disappoin s in India
Delhi locality, charge-sh Amid such predict that the
employee
up to 8.2
had been trade.
salaries –
Punjab and into the much despised Sonu had illicit

?
ly, market
experts hike in their is based on

A WONDERFUL
girls sources,
innocent to the police of men and, surprising enjoy maximum Their prediction Hewitt, an
According fallen would – in the year 2009. conducted by
with her had

SEXY
with a number d intimacy herself
per cent of a survey firm on human
resources
connection How Sonu the report cy
men establishe
whichever months later. story. But she has al consultan nt. e

Kudos for a good S

some internation l percentag

more cultured than so many tainted

bullets is another girls’ and developme

HOUSEWIVE
to police
in crime world‘the Queen of Call this incrementa year
got sucked
Although the previous much
title of less than be
won undisputed judicial arrest. is slightly per cent, yet it will
she is under
have hikes at
presently nt agencies level of 13.3 n to salary region.
law enforceme on the increasing higher in
compariso ic
Since long, concern the including
Asia-Pacif
global level the responses

WHAT ITTO
especially
been expressing trafficking, girls is based on active in
of human nce of young The survey

WRITE-UP
companies
incidents disappeara poorer states from 480 reveals that
received and it also
A sexy, ever
cases involving comparatively may fall
Nations has different sectors

MEANS
from increment
and women the United of salary then it
Recently, trafficking. the rate come. But
smiling, caring
of India. on human months to

editorial Women Victi-

a Global Reporton the data collecteda during few

ministers and politicians. India is a

released based itself. d
is It reveals correct the widesprea
only
The report
wife acts not US
India. will that
countries
including of, that Experts maintain global economy
from 155 far unheard has hit the t on the US are
which is so the
startling fact, are running recession t
as an instan but
have dependen But even
the womenfolk networks the nations countries.
now even rackets. Their Being women hard; especially more than other with
are growing
human trafficking
soothing balm, cy
al levels. believes brunt and China
internation woman, as everybody feeling the like India in the interim
spread to for such then, economies per cent rate.
Recently, Pranab
is a plus point of the women than seven finance
minister
vibran
around seven
a woman
easily.
stunning
is that most s victims
of more
budget
also, caretaker about achieving also adds
What is morecrime, were once themselve misused has talked ed d
to the marrie

mizing Women (WE:

are being d and Mukherjee nt had implement

Be a Sexy house
in this

secular democratic nation; it is about

In fact, they rate.
indulged
of atrocities. remain in the backgroun per cent growth the Central
Governme the salaries
some kind Last year, report and
increased
men, who
relationship.
n nt’s decision
by influential . main motive ly. Governme and rate of
entire ‘business’ sex is the 6th Pay Commissio exuberant rise Khan
operate the fact that so far nted price hue and r Rabb
exposed of its employees by an unprecede But all the
It is a well-known trafficking
. Incidents in the country,
was followed all previous records.deaf ears, as the By M Shamsu
behind human are active and poor broke fell on
women gangs young girls rh inflation the commone rs ng data.
reveal that large number of Chhattisga cry of with manipulati s fell,
a , Orissa, nt got busy when prices of vegetable giving
which lure Bihar, Jharkhand capital for
them in the governme thereby,
women from rn states and bring their hunger for sex. During the
winter, record low, its own back.
dived to
and Northeaste for satiating failure of rate also y to pat corner,
to rich men reveals a large-scale s so far. inflation nt an opportunit are round the

March I). The editorial time it lives up to its name. Everyone wife (January II)
supplying governme
statistics ivering machinerie in the general elections like a breather planned
woman nobly command
A detailed n appear Now, when has come in the
ing and justice-deland molestatio culprits salary hike put its faith A perfect
comfort and bright
law-enforc
news of
raping many of the of report
of maximum may once again that keeps To warn to and
But how which the hope m We Spirit still,
Everyday, prominent ly. is a subject for the public, After all, it is And yet a of angelic
light.
newspape
rs by the courts inated nt. to: letters@wo
mansera.co
and convicted it is the male-dom of governme running. write With something
are booked analysis, sorry state feel when
your
In the final le for this everything
ow do you a
concern. is responsib meet with

H
society which weary eyes wife
(First) 2009 sexy home
affairs. Era ● March fresh and tired after
a
Woman’s as you enterwork? Instant

concludes on male speaks of “human rights” but

long day’s quick refresh -

written by Ameeta
Or a
energy?
both? Well,
ment? Or of Indian
great majority als and
profession need
working
en do
businessm that could
very refreshing their energy
something
on or revive ts of office
turn them after-effec
the you
to ward off contrast, how will
In starts
your wife

dominating society but in a democratic

pressure.

“women’s rights” is one of the major Sharma is a wonderful

react when

system women have enough scope parts of that. write-up. Really, it is a worthwhile tip
for proving their point. The solution – Vinod C. Dixit, Ahmedabad. for every woman for her happiness
lies not in accusations or beating the as well as of her family. Other stories
drums but practicing reasonableness/ – I am proud to be Indian by Smrithi
behavioral refinement. GOOD TOPICS Poornachandra, Lofty Dreams by
– M.P.S. Chadha, Chandigarh. TACKLED Samita Shenoy, The bridge that
This refers to your united hearts by Nalini Sharma,
February II issue. Moms advice by Gurmukh B. Irani
arriage is
made in heaven
a matter ROLE OF A WIFE ● I liked Puja were top class from which we can
M
and it is primarily destiny.
of mutual union
is a sacred a
Marriage
a man and in
between it entails
woman and to look
partners
both the each
welfare of
after the sanctity
of
other. The

The article Are you

home

Sharma, Subhra take lessons inspiring.

and the life
marriage
by both
be upheld
has to wrote:
John Gay is depressed
partners. of a man
If the heart
with care. when a
is dispelled
The mist
woman appears.
s the whole
summarise -

ARE YOU
This aptly man-woman relation

killing your husband?

of a of the

Mazumdar, Sukhu Regular articles besides the

philosophy the provider
if man is of the house

KILLING YOUD
ship. But
it is the lady maintaining
R family, then
a major part in
who plays the family and the
the health
of
bread

HUSBAN
winner. statistical
are the
But what about the lifeline
ns women?
observatio men and
amongst Patts, “The
to Dr David
According

(March I) suggesting How to help

how to help your
husband live longer
reminded me the
words of Benjamin Franklin, who said
that, “A little house well filled, a little
field well tilled, and a little wife well
willed, are great riches.”
As already known, a wife is half
the man, the best of friends, the root
of the family and the source of well-
being. When a man climbs the ladder
of success, we will usually find that
the person who has been holding it
steady for him is his wife. In fact, she
is firm in her loyalty to her partner in
life by making her home congenial
and by making mutual adjustments.
– Beena Mathur, Pune.
EXAM PHOBIA winter is fast giving
TACKLING
time again.
t is exam millions of
your husba
nd live
longer.
By Dr S.
N. Khosla
Mazumdar and other correspondents editorials are always useful to every
of WE’s observations and narrations body. This magazine though named
about art and artists depicting various Woman’s Era, is a guide for all.
pictures from pages 77 to page 99 Really, the magazine is having Gagar
and including pages 111 up to page Mein Sagar. Good wishes to editorial
no. 134. staff for their efforts.
● I liked various 60th Republic – Mohini Srivastava, Lucknow .
Day greetings 2009 by Haryana chief The prize is awarded to:
minister and Northern Railway. Baseer Suleman, Karnataka.
– Meera B. Rao, Pune.
WOMAN'S ERA
invites readers’
WE: KEEP UP opinions and
reactions on
THE GOOD WORK
articles, short stories
Your magazine, Woman’s Era, and features published
needs to be complimented for in Woman’s Era. The best
catering to the needs of all the letter will be given a prize of
members of the family. Rs 500. Address your letters by
It provides easy-to-make mouth- E-mail to: letters@womansera.com
or by post to:
watering recipes from across the
EDITORIA
L globe. Practical ideas for the home – AS YOU SAY
CURB THE MORAL
WOMEN A
GAIN
G
TARGETIN on the fringe
country was Day, moral
when our
t a juncture, g her 60th Republic once again
A
like decor, furniture, painting, art
of celebratinHindutvav adi forces liberty.
As the are burning brigade
of as women’s
described developing
students ns what is being in Mangalore, a fast of a

I way to spring,
midnight
for class
oil with the
X and XII,
which begin
in the
ted stress
examinatio
ensuing board first week of
and anxiety
are The
but also
trounced place
incident took , where around fortyand bashed up
city in Karnataka barged into
group
a pub
two days
members

before the
Republic

BRIGADE
this, exam-rela students, right-wing women just
March. With among the
rise not only several young openly
also on the parents. reasons those women our
due to many Day. alleged that – a practice that

E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

among their on the students is percentag e marks. The attackers there Sri
high and in drinking
wine also brought
Pressure to secure peers, parents The attack n’s chief,
It indulged culture forbids.

pieces, gift ideas – thereby making

like targetingpressure from the to the students. great Hindu Arrest of
organisatio Bharat
s, Abhinav
Sometime dose of stressbecause of such limelight.
Sena into revealed its links with on gaining
give an extra that step of Ram Muthalik, organisati
teachers to be ignored extreme Pramod blasts.
take the – another Malegaon bomb
is also not could not after that the
many studentsthey feel that they notoriety n so far reveals behind
pressures
suicide, when of others. Investigatio people
of the

Womansera.com
committing ns and
up the expectatio anxiety motive and now Mangalore
keep their phase blasts a Hindu
To overcome stress, the first Malegaon is to create
from 1st India.
n-related pub incident the precincts of
examinatio g began new
counsellin till 2nd April, Rashtra within indication that
of CBSE continue e year It is a clear Taliban mindset
are

This refers to your

It would

the house homely without pinching

February. consecutiv g rs of
is the 12th the country
2009. This providing
counsellin perpetrato heads in
has been during raising their
that CBSE students and parents beating
of
to again. to say,
services e Needless hit the eye
examinatio
ns. programm the pub has all
CBSE Outreach the women inside The people from
In fact, the designed keeping and are
of the storm. the youth
is carefully of students’ population of especially
eity modes sections, over the country
heterogen Multiple NGOs all in
cal spread. as telephonic infuriated. against this vandalism is
geographi in this
ation such columns out protest
marches to them,
communic Question-Answer are taking According been
rights have black

thought-provoking
g, Voice Response policing.

the purse. For the youngsters there is

of moral

Name:
counsellin CBSE
rs, Interactive counselling through more the namefirst time that women’s incident as a
this
newspape and online out to more and not the also terming
System (IVRS) to reach They are not
is used attacked. rights. is simply
website
during this
phase. , trained on women’s kind of moral policingsociety. Also,
43 principals nt and spot c
examinees as many as governme Of course, such and democrati of the
This year affiliated will in a civilised and members in bad
s from CBSE ists and social scientists tolerable of ministers are not only
counsellor psycholog and abroad. some comments n for Women wounds.
y in India
private schools; help line
individuall the cities of Delhi, National
Commissio salt on the
a progressiv
e
in also rubbing the fact that in
operate this centres in India Gurgaon, but greater
There are
39 Jaipur, taste,
no denying playing far must
h, Meerut, Jamnagar, There is women are and

Targeting
Chandigar ar, Vishakhapatnam, from six

editorial
that of India, tion. They should be male

guidance in selecting clothes,

society like

Mobile:
Noida,
Bhubanesw the first time transforma used to
Faridabad, e and for Guwahati, in social that once
Coimbator Bangalore There are roles those rights ,
Jabalpur, Nagpur, enjoy all
of Bhopal, of Kerala. es only. by womenfolk
new cities Kollam in the state India at
Kuwait,
prerogativ g drinks tely,
Baroda and centres outside g intoxicatin practice. Unfortuna is
help line Consumin healthy and libertine
also four and Sharjah. can take
good is not a being liberal it high time to
Qatar parents the however,
Dubai, Doha , students and it is line between day. Isn’t
Therefore counsellor
s. Ultimately, cool dividing blurred day by m We
the CBSE . Keeping the two?
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