Sweetness, Impaired and Restored Michael Bolerjack And the Lord told me, when I asked, that I had

never been in a more desperate situation, surrounded, against a much stronger enemy than I, so I prayed, and as I had done often during my apocalypse, shaved my head, but still the whole time, I was beaten again and again, but in the early hours on my wifes birthday, as I was making the macaroni salad, I found myself in conversation with Mary, talking with her as I often had months before when I would do my housework, and what a delight speaking with her, and I asked her that I not lose the way to be sweet, or the ability, and too, I remembered the intercession of Blaise in midDecember when I had been so close to death, and the work so far from completion, and later that day, on my wifes birthday, with her late coming home, and I not knowing why, and fearing the enemy, who is both within and without, as Wojtyla rightly taught, I made war, cut out the cancer, told it so as I did, removed the offense, prayed to the Lord that if He wanted me to delete every article I had placed online, if that would save my wife I would, but just then she arrived, and I knew I did not need to do that, for despite its errors, and the sin I had in mind during January and February and March and April and May, yet there is something of value in the work, and so we celebrated my wifes birthday, with her mother and her sister, and I felt so good to be with real people who really love, and perceived not only my wifes beauty but her intelligence and wit, and I fell asleep and slept well, though this morning my leg ached, and I felt old, but when my wife finished talking with her friend on the phone and spoke to me, and thanked me for her birthday, I felt good and right, but all day I remembered the words of the Lord who said it was better to cut off a part, and enter into life, than to be whole in hell, and knew the truth of that for me at last, that there is something in my mind that is sin and desire and deceit, a demonic genius, seemingly beautiful and feminine yet damned to destroy, that must be overcome, if I am to be sweet, and stay that way.