COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Belonging

Learning Objectives
Everyone has an equal right to belong. belong Bert Hellinger

What is Belonging?
? Understand what

Belonging is Have an ? overview of Belonging as a self coaching and coaching process

Nature is the best teacher, it can teach us about family systems, and even corporate systems. Notice how in nature everything belongs. And everything has an equal right to belong. Taking any single item out of a natural system causes problems. Whether we like something or not has nothing to do with its true and rightful place of belonging. Hyenas belong as much as a baby buck. Scorpions belong as much as butterflies do. Each has a place and each belongs. Every element on the periodic table belongs, every molecule in DNA belongs. Humans have seen first-hand the severe and costly consequences of trying to remove even the smallest element from a system. The global ecology has been damaged time and time again by our interference, our disregard for the fact that natural wisdom gives everything a place of belonging. Belonging and placement are 2 systems coaching steps that are bound together. Sometimes we think trying to exclude something from a system is the solution, when in fact it ends up creating more problems. The ultimate solution lies in correcting the 'placements' not in trying to solve the situation by excluding people. By honouring belonging and placement we bring systems into harmony and vitality. This works in all systems, from families to corporations and from sport teams to countries. Here is a list of some of the many systems we belong to:
? Family ? Culture ? Race ? Countries born and lived in as a citizen ? Religions born to and chosen ? Languages born to and spoken ? Organisations ? Companies ? Humanity

Every system has its purpose and with that purpose the actions and consequences of the actions for which it is responsible. When we belong to a system we are subjected to the consequences of actions caused in and by the system. Sometimes when painful consequences arrive, as a result of a systems actions we try to ignore the fact that we belong to the system. This only creates more pain. For example, a country is responsible for its governments actions, its citizens may carry the guilt or shame of past actions by the country it belongs to. Some try to exclude themselves from their country to avoid the pain. But the truth is the citizens still belong, factually. Even immigration doesn't overwrite the fact that they were originally citizens of the country.

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Belonging part 1

Learning Objectives
Everyone has an equal right to belong. belong Bert Hellinger

Denial or resistance does not bring solutions.

? Have an

overview of Belonging as a self coaching and coaching process continued Gain several ? Truth coaching questions

Here are 3 ideas to explore and coach to find your best solutions around:
? TRUTH ? TAKING THE BEST ? HONOURING

TRUTH The clich 'the truth shall set you free' is very powerful when practiced rather than just understood as an idea. When we resist, distort or fight the basic truth, we create pain. Accepting truth is not about making unjust acts right, or about defeat, in fact acceptance brings strength and freedom. Truth is clean and uncomplicated. It is reality, full stop. There is no room for interpretation or story it's just "things as they factually are". In systems, it happens to be the truth that each element belongs. Why? Because they exist in the system. Belonging is not a belief or preference, there is no vote. Something or someone belongs by virtue of their very existence in the system. We make belonging subjective, we include and exclude based on our likes and dislikes, fears and desires, but this is all surface and has nothing to do with the truth. The simple truth is deeper and when looked at and acknowledged can be deeply empowering and freeing. Truth opens us, let's nature flow and frees us. Coaching questions:
? What is the absolute truth here? ? How does it feel to resist the truth? ? What might it ultimately be like to acknowledge the truth? ? How does it help to see the truth? ? Who factually exists in this system (family /organisation)? ? How could you honour the truth of each person in this system belonging to the

system?

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

COACHING i n t e r n a t i o n a l

NUGGET

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Belonging part 2

Learning Objectives
Everyone has an equal right to belong. belong Bert Hellinger

TAKING THE BEST

? Have an

overview of Belonging as a self coaching and coaching process continued Gain several ? Taking the best and Honouring coaching questions

Just because we belong to a system doesn't mean we have to take everything from the system. If a system is filled with corruption or burdens of the past, we can discern and consciously choose to take the best from a system. Equally so, we can choose to leave the worse of the system where it belongs, in the past and with perpetrators of the worst. Coaching questions:
? How can you take the best from this system

(family/country/culture/religion/organisation)?
? How can you honour the gifts of this system

(family/country/culture/religion/organisation)?
? How can you leave the burdens of this systems

(family/country/culture/religion/organisation) past behind? HONOURING Ancient cultures knew the benefits of honouring the systems they were born to and served in. Our modern world is a global village, with long complex histories formed in every bloodline. This makes it even more important to discover the value of honouring. Honouring is not: agreeing with, following, being bound to or making it right. When you honour a system, this doesn't mean having to follow it. We each still have our own paths to choose and the free will to navigate our own destinies. So honouring is more about giving reverence to your roots and to the systems that you depend on. It's acknowledging the reality of the systems and their belonging. Take the noblest gifts of the systems you are born into and leave the rest behind as you follow your own inner compass. Coaching questions:
? How can you best honour the systems

(family/country/culture/religion/organisation) that you belong to?

? How can you also honour your own choices and path?

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com