Contract1 CONTRACT A play in one act by Sujay Sood sujaysood@gmail.

com; (917) 340 0385 CHARACTERS: Devender Prakash, a naturalized American from India, mid thirties. Cristina Gonzalez, a naturalized American from Honduras, early thirties Seve Skantzas, a naturalized American from Greece, early thirties Maria Gonzalez, Cristinas mother Pizzaboy, a delivery person POLITICIAN ON TV: A politician on TV LOCATION: A CONTEMPORARY SUBURBAN AMERICAN HOME. WINTER.

Contract2

ACT I (THE STAGE IS REVEALED TO THE MUSIC OF TERRY RILEY'S "SALOME DANCES FOR PEACE." CRISTINA IS ONSTAGE IN A LIVING ROOM FURNISHED WITH HI-TECH AUDIO VIDEO EQUIPMENT THAT DOES NOT, HOWEVER, CRAMP IN ANY WAY THE SPACE ON STAGE) CRISTINA (USING THE INTERCOM) Dave, we really need to go through the bills. We're past due all over again. Dave? Dave, I said we really need to do the bills. DEVINDER (THROUGH THE INTERCOM) Not now. I'm right in the middle of something here. CRISTINA Dave, I can't do this alone again. I won't do it. (PAUSE) You're not helping me, Dave. DEVINDER Do it online. CRISTINA That's not safe. (SILENCE) DEVINDER Hey, d'you feel like pizza tonight? (EXASPERATED, CRISTINA GIVES UP. DOOR BELL RINGS. CRISTINA DOESN'T RESPOND. DOOR BELL RINGS AGAIN, MORE INSISTENTLY THIS TIME. CRISTINA HESITATES BEFORE ANSWERING) CRISTINA (INTERCOM) Who is it? SEVE (INTERCOM) Good evening, ma'am, this is Seve Skantzas, could I speak with you for a moment? CRISTINA Excuse me? Who?! SEVE That's right, ma'am. If I could just get you to-(CRISTINA GOES TO CHECK THE DOOR MONITOR, WHERE PRESUMABLY SEVE'S IMAGE SHOWS UP)

Contract3 CRISTINA Seve Skantzas? DEVINDER (INTERCOM) Who is it, Cris? SEVE (INTERCOM) I just need to fill out a quick survey, and then I'll be on my way in a minute. CRISTINA (TO DEVINDER) I don't know. Seve Skantzas... DEVINDER Don't even bother, Cris. Tell him whatever it is, we don't want any. SEVE Listen, I know you're busy and I'm busy so I'll just fill out this survey and be on (CRISTINA OPENS DOOR, AFTER UNLOCKING SEVERAL BOLTS) DEVINDER (INTERCOM) Goddammit! Don't open the (DEVINDER ENTERS, PEEVISH) Look, whatever it is, we don't want any, thanks but no thanks, all right? SEVE (KICKING INTO HIS SALESMAN MODE) Let's see, you must be Mr. Dave-ender Prakash, is that right? And you must be Cristina Prakash? DEVINDER Look here, Mister, I don't know where you got our names or why, but we're really busy. CRISTINA Gonzalez. I kept my name. SEVE (NOT REALLY LISTENING TO CRISTINA) Great. Now I have this little survey that the government has asked us to do across the nation, it won't take a minute and I'll be on my way. Are you married? Yes, of course you are. DEVINDER I don't think you heard me. We're not interested. CRISTINA Married

Contract4 SEVE Look, Mr. Prakash, I appreciate your saying that. I know you're a busy man, I've been asked to fill this survey and then I'll be on my way. DEVINDER Hurry up, then. (PHONE RINGS) CRISTINA That must be your folks from Delhi. Isn't it cold out? I think you had better come in, Seve. DEVINDER Will you turn that down. He doesn't have to come in, Cris. Send him packing. SEVE I appreciate your saying that. If we could go to your kitchen table, we could knock this out real fast and I'll be on my way, I'm sure you're a busy man, Mr. Prakash. CRISTINA Tea for everyone? DEVINDER (to himself) Sometimes I just dont understand her. (to Cristina) Just get me a beer. (ON THE PHONE) Ma. How're you? Look, Ma, I am really busy, I'll call you back...Nahin, Ma...Nahin...Ma, I said no, that's no. Impossible... I know you promised, Ma but you can't promise for me...we can't make the wedding, Ma, we just can't...Just because I work at home doesn't mean I can leave anytime you want me to...Mein nahin aa saktaa, I'm sorry Ma, that's final...I'll call you back. (HANGS UP) What's this about, anyway? We're really busy here. CRISTINA (RETURNS WITH A BEER STEIN) Dave, I had forgot to tell you. Melanie sent me a fax about Galapagos. Will you get back to her? SEVE Ah! Galapagos! What a wonderful idea. Where Darwin heard the evolution song. DEVINDER Evolution song? SEVE He discovered Darwinism there. On the volcanic islands. Giant Tortoises in neighboring islands, all with tiny variations. All adapted to their own island after years of evolution. He found different beaks on the same species of finches on different islands. Evolution, Darwinism, quite amazing, isn't that true? DEVINDER Yohero. Dont you have a survey to do?

Contract5 CRISTINA Darwin should temper is optimism about man evolving. SEVE I appreciate your saying that, Mrs. Prakash. But man is-CRISTINA A selfish, self-centered Brute. DEVINDER To save himself from woman. Man is descended from apes, Woman from leeches. CRISTINA Dont insult apes. Mans an abomination. Thats why gods been in hiding ever since he created man. SEVE Ahem. Listen, I know you guys busy, so Ill just knock out this survey real quick and let you get back to whatever it was you were doing. CRISTINA (TO SEVE) So you actually went? To Galapagos? DEVINDER What is this, twenty questions? Let the man do his survey and be on his way. SEVE I appreciate your asking that. Been dreaming of it a long time. I can't wait to take a vacation. But these surveys never end. Mr. and Mrs. Prakash, if we could just sit down right here for a moment, I'll be able to knock this right out and be on my way. (SITS DOWN AT TABLE) This is a real nice home you have here. DEVINDER Yes, yes. Can we get started? SEVE I was just telling your husband what a nice home you have here, Cristina. DEVINDER (sips his beer) Goddamit, tastes like horsepiss. CRISTINA You always buy the same beer and then you always curse it. DEVINDER It's the all-American beer. CRISTINA

Contract6 Make up your mind, Dave. Is it or is it not piss in stein is still piss. DEVINDER Whoa--what's up with you all of a sudden? SEVE Now if we could just all sit and focus for a quick minute, I can knock this out real fast. CRISTINA (looking out the window) It's supposed to snow. Maybe we'll have a white X-mas. DEVINDER Snow, no thanks. Besides, it hasnt snowed for years. (to Seve) Is this voluntary? SEVE Absolutely voluntary. DEVINDER You could email it. SEVE I appreciate your saying that, Mr. Prakash. We believe in the human touch. Let's see here... CRISTINA It's been eight years. But tonight, it absolutely is going to snow. (CRISTINA GOES TO THE KITCHEN. SEVE IS SORRY TO SEE HER GO AS HE NEEDS BOTH OF THEM AT THE TABLE IN ORDER TO PITCH HIS SALE) SEVE Great. Now, let's see here (starts arranging his pictorial presentation) DEVINDER (AFTER A PAUSE) Well whatre you waiting for? SEVE Well, Mr. Prakash, for something as important as your future, Im sure you wouldnt want Cristina to miss anything. DEVINDER What are you selling? SEVE I appreciate your say-DEVINDER Dude. I already told you once. We're not interested in buying anything.

Contract7 SEVE That's great because all I need to do is to fill out this survey and be on my way. (PAUSE as nothing happens) DEVINDER Go ahead, man. What are you waiting for? SEVE We've been asked by the government to take these survey when both couples are present. DEVINDER I can tell you all her answers. SEVE Im sure you can. I'm sure that like all good American households Cristina and you make all important decisions together, isnt that true? DEVINDER Decision for what? SEVE For something as important as your future. DEVINDER What are you talking about?! Look here, whatever-you-name-is, do your survey and get the hell out. SEVE I appreciate your saying that. Now let's see, what age group are you in? 20 to 29? Let's see, 30-39? No? 40-49? DEVINDER 30-39. SEVE Excellent. Here, let me show you something. (SEVE SETS UP HIS SALES PARAPHERNALIA) DEVINDER You said you work for the government? SEVE I work for Cosmos. We're helping the government collect data on couples all across the nation.

Contract8 DEVINDER What data? Is this about the elections? (CRISTINA COMES IN WITH TEA) SEVE Thanks, Cristina. Nothing like a hot cup of tea on a cold winter night. It's perfect! Just the way I like it! Great, now that you're both here, I'd just like you to answer a few simple questions and I'll be on my way. You're in the age group of 30-39, Mr. Richards. I'm sorry, Mr. Prakash. And you, Crist-Mrs. Prakash? 20-29? No, well, you had me fooled. 30-39? Great. CRISTINA Did you say something about the elections? What did I miss? DEVINDER You missed nothing. Could you hurry up here? SEVE (to Cristina) No, this is an independent survey. CRISTINA That's good. There's already been enough polling. DEVINDER Democracy's a joke in this country. CRISTINA More like manipulation. SEVE You're probably aware that electoral turnout is has been surging lately. DEVINDER Why vote? Everyone's in the center these days. Consolidated, like one big monopoly. CRISTINA I still think you should do your duty and vote, Dave. DEVINDER Internet voting or bust, thats what Im talking about. CRISTINA (to Seve) I'm taping all the speeches. I'm doing research on how everyone's promises use same buzzword loaded phrases. All equally empty.

Contract9 SEVE I couldn't agree with you more. Moving right along, youre currently employed, Mr. Prakash, isnt that true? DEVINDER I'm self-employed. Just call me Dave. SEVE That's great. And what kind of work do you do, Dave? DEVINDER I run a business on the internet. SEVE Great! That's the way to go these days. How about you, Cristina? Do you-CRISTINA Yes, I work for an ad agency. DEVINDER Writes jingles, gets paid to come up with 10 second laughs. SEVE Copywriting? Cristina, that's great! That's a job I have always wanted to have. Have I seen any of your work on T.V. ? CRISTINA Probably not. I work on print, mostly. DEVINDER Yo, what is this, happy hour? Look here, I have work to get back to. Are we nearly finished? SEVE Almost there. Now how long have you been married? DEVINDER What's thatCRISTINA Four years and a half approaching. DEVINDER (TO CRISTINA) You don't have to answer that. SEVE I appreciate your saying that. Now let's see, I don't see any toys lying around. Any children?

Contract10 DEVINDER No. CRISTINA I can't have children, Seve. DEVINDER You don't have to spill your guts, for god's sake! SEVE Now what range would you say your combined income falls in: 50-59,000? 60-69,000? 70-79,000? Stop me when I get there. CRISTINA Well, that depends. DEVINDER What has all this got to do with anything? It's personal information. Are we finished? SEVE I appreciate you saying that, Mr. Prakash. Like I said, it's all voluntary. Cosmos asks us to work with three criteria, Im sure you meet them but correct me if Im wrong, Dave-between the two of you, youre employed, maintain a checking account, and own your own home, isnt that true? DEVINDER If you're trying to sell us something, we're not interested. (SEVE LAUNCHES INTO THE MEAT OF HIS SALES PITCH. AS SEVE'S SPEECH PROGRESSES, CRISTINA GROWS INCREASINGLY MORE AGITATED) SEVE I appreciate your saying that. The reason I have been sent here is to share new options with you about making your future secure. As our initial contract questionnaire says, we are in the business of securing your future, as well as the future of thousands of hard working Americans, such as yourselves, all across the nation. And securing your future is important to you and your family, Isnt that true, Cristina and Dave? DEVINDER (ASIDE) What family? SEVE Securing your future is important to you, isn't that true, Cristina? CRISTINA (AGITATED) The future's unpredictable.

Contract11 SEVE The futures unpredictable. And thats exactly why Ive been sent here. One of the things Im going to help you with is exactly what the two of you are worried about--a plan to achieve that dream future. If we look around us we'll see that 99% of the people are thinkers, happy to sit and stare, thinking about the future. The thinkers think about tomorrow, looking for signs to understand the secrets hidden behind the face of things. And they get up and leave, forgetting all about making that contract with the future. But we're different, aren't we. We're the doers. The 1% percent who get up and do something about it. The 1% who plan. Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. and Mrs. Prakash, but I can tell just by looking at you and your beautiful home that you are both doers, isn't that true? DEVINDER Yes, yes, doer-shoer, whatever. Are we finished? SEVE Well, as you are well aware, Dave, we are being urged daily to prepare financially for our future and our years of retirement, isn't that true? DEVINDER Yes. SEVE That's why I've been sent here. We are making sure that the American people know what options exist for them so that they can secureDEVINDER Yo! I know my options. Are we done here? SEVE Well, I'm here to tell you about the Cosmos R.A.P. that has four parts to ensure your financial security. CRISTINA (WITH FEELING) Cosmos R.A.P.! That's C-R-A-P Crap! That's what this is, pure crap! DEVINDER (AGITATED IN TURN, TO CRISTINA) Yo, whyre you buggin out? SEVE Retirement Assurance Program. DEVINDER You're selling insurance! I fucking knew it!

SEVE

Contract12 No. This is assurance. Insurance is focused on death. Assurance is focused on living, the future. (DEVINDER GETS UP TO INDICATE THAT THE MEETING'S OVER) DEVINDER All right, that's enough--We're not interested in buying anything. SEVE (STANDS) You're the people who plan so...so you can achieve that trip to the Galapagos, isn't that true? CRISTINA What do you know about what's true, Seve? SEVE Excuse me? CRISTINA Do you do this masquerade day in and day out? SEVE I'm not sure I understand(CRISTINA STANDS AND PLONKS SEVE BACK DOWN ON HIS CHAIR) CRISTINA (IN SEVE'S FACE AS DEVINDER STANDS LOOKING NONPLUSSED) Now let me ask you a question, Seve, let me ask you a question. What do you call the person that runs away from the future? (PAUSE) CRISTINA What do you call the person who shatters the future? SEVE (RECOGNITION DAWNS) Oh shit. Crissie?! DEVINDER What the hellSEVE (STUNNED, STANDING UP) Crissie Gonzalez! DEVINDER Yo yo yo yo. What's going on?! CRISTINA

Contract13 (ANGUISHED) How can you live with yourself? DEVINDER (INCREDULOUS) You know this chap? How do you know him? SEVE I don't know what to sayCRISTINA (ANGRY) Youve nothing to say now that you remember who I am, "isn't that true?" DEVINDER What'sCRISTINA I have always remembered you! I have even tried to forgive, Seve. But for what?! SEVE This is not a good time, I had better leave. DEVINDER Wait a minute, what's going onSEVE I think I had best get out right now. (CRISTINA GETS HYSTERICAL AS SHE GRABS ONTO SEVE'S LAPELS. SEVE GETS UP AND TRIES TO BACK AWAY BUT CRISTINA DOESN'T LET GO) CRISTINA Run! Run away again! GET OUT OF HERE! SEVE Crissie, let me go, you're hurting me. CRISTINA Just walk in and walk out! What gives you the right to walk in and walk out? SEVE You're hurting me. Crissie, let me go. CRISTINA What gives you the right to walk in and (DEVINDER INTERVENES AUTHORITATIVELY)

Contract14 DEVINDER Yo, Shut the FUCK UP both of you! Let go, Cris! LET GO! Now sit down, both of you. Sit down! No one's going anywhere. I want to know what the fuck is going on, right here right now! (SILENCE) CRISTINA (COLLECTS HERSELF) I'm sorry. I'm calmer. (PAUSE) Seve, Dave. Dave, Seve. (SILENCE) Seve is Steve, Dave. Steve. (PAUSE) DEVINDER Okaaay, so this is Steve. Why didn't anybody just say so in the first place? "My dear husband, Im inviting Steve into the house tonight, the one about whom I lied to you all this time." CRISTINA I never lied to you, Dave. DEVINDER No. It's just that you told me a bullshit story about a guy named Steve, who I suddenly find out doesn't even exist. CRISTINA He does. Its Seve. More or less. DEVINDER (IRRITABLE) Steve is not that! That is not Steve! SEVE Look, I should really get going. DEVINDER (to Seve) Shut up. (to Cristina) You've been lying to me all this time. CRISTINA You're not helping me, Dave.. SEVE Listen, I think I should-DEVINDER Keep quiet! Who the hell is Steve, Cris? Who's Seve? Who's he? Who's who? Godammit?!

Contract15 CRISTINA Dave, please. DEVINDER WHOCRISTINA I changed the name: Seve, Steve. DEVINDER Really? Just the name? How about fat? Japanese? Five foot five? CRISTINA I just wanted to put distance between what happened. To forget. DEVINDER Why dont you start by telling me whats so important that you wanted to forget so badly? CRISTINA Dave, please. It hurts. DEVINDER (MENACING) Don't you worry--this hurts me more than it hurts you. CRISTINA You're not helping me. DEVINDER (MAKING A DECISION) All right, all right. Let's all just relax, all right? Let's just take a step back and look at this. (PAUSE) I feel like a drink, how about you? I think a martini calls. (FIXES DRINKS AND PASSES THEM OUT) Now let's just take a step back and see what we got here. You, Mr. Slick, come in out of nowhere to do some jackshit sale and end-up traumatizing my wife, Mrs. Liar, who knows that you're actually you, but doesn't tell anyone, me, what is going on. And there I am, Mr. Moron, I've got things to do and a business to run, there I am sitting in a circus not getting my money's worth because I has no clue what everyone else is laughing at. There you go, martinis all around. What say we raise a toast. Come on! To the circus. Cheers! SEVE (TO HIMSELF) I guess this sale's over.

Contract16 DEVINDER So you admit ityoure an insurance salesman. SEVE I'm not selling insurance. Assurance, it's focused onDEVINDER Yo shut the fuck up. CRISTINA Lets be civil, Dave. DEVINDER Yes, yes. Be civil and hold hands and reminisce about the past. CRISTINA (TO SEVE) Why did you have to come after all these years? DEVINDER Yes, tell me all about it, Stevie boy. SEVE Seve. CRISTINA I already told you. Hes an ex. DEVINDER Who? CRISTINA Who? DEVINDER Who's an ex? Steve? or Seve? CRISTINA Youre being childish. DEVINDER I have a right to know. Dont you appreciate my saying that, Steve? SEVE Seve. DEVINDER

Contract17 The wind is howling, the branches are creaking, the frost is on the groundgo ahead, tell me your sordid tale. CRISTINA Dont. DEVINDER Come on, Crissie. Were just being civil. Sipping martinis, chatting about the past, thinking about divorce, no biggie. So, Stevie boy, how do you know my wife? SEVE We were together after college. DEVINDER And? SEVE We lived in for a couple of years. DEVINDER And? Godammit, speak up! What happened? SEVE We got married. (SILENCE. DEVINDER LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO EXPLODE BUT CONTROLS HIMSELF, FIXES HIMSELF ANOTHER MARTINI.) DEVINDER (APPRECIATIVELY EATS HIS OLIVE. TO CRISTINA) Look. Me, being civil. CRISTINA I didnt tell you because it fell apart before it even started. DEVINDER What the hell does that mean? CRISTINA You don't want to know, Dave. DEVINDER I do. I want to know. SEVE I think I should leave. CRISTINA

Contract18 (FRANTIC) NO! (SILENCE) DEVINDER Nobodys going nowhere till I get some answers. CRISTINA Believe me, Devinder, there's no reason to be jealous. DEVINDER Answer me, what happened with Steve? SEVE Seve. CRISTINA He just left. DEVINDER (TO CRISTINA) You lied to me. CRISTINA (UNMINDFUL, TO SEVE) You lied to me. DEVINDER I want the whole truth. CRISTINA Theres nothing more. DEVINDER There's always more. CRISTINA I can't. DEVINDER Can't? CRISTINA Sorry. DEVINDER Can't what? Speak up, godammit! (PAUSE) SEVE

Contract19 I had to get out, Crissie. CRISTINA Why? SEVE You gave me everything. But II couldnt take it. DEVINDER (TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR) This is fucked up. SEVE Mr. Prakash, this is a big mistake and I wouldn't have come had I known. I think I should leave. (THE TELEVISION SWITCHES ON, PRE-PROGRAMMED FOR THE CAMPAIGN SPEECH. NO ONE PAYS IT ANY ATTENTION) POLITICIAN ON TV Fellow Americans, I stand before you tonight with a simple taskto convince you that I am the right man for the job. SEVE I think I should leave. (DEVINDER MORE OR LESS PUSHES SEVE INTO A SEAT, AND SITS DOWN HIMSELF.) DEVINDER No, no, no, I am damn glad you came, Steve. POLITICIAN ON TV A simple task but also the most difficult task, for what can be harder than for you to place your trust in me? DEVINDER It's high time I got to know Steve, isn't it Crissie? SEVE My name is Seve, Mr. Prakash. Seve Skantzas. DEVINDER I don't really give a damn what your name is! POLITICIAN ON TV T make anything long-lasting, we need to make it using the ingredient of compassion, the strongest cement known to humankind.

Contract20 (WILD APPLAUSE FROM THE TV. DAVE FINDS THE REMOTE AND SWITCHES IT OFF) SEVE I don't have time for this. I haves miles of surveys to go. (GETS UP TO LEAVE BUT IS PUSHED DOWN BY DAVE) DEVINDER Sit down! I need some answers. SEVE I don't think I like your attitude. DEVINDER What're you going to do about it? CRISTINA Dave, please! DEVINDER If you've finished wallowing in self-pity you can tell me why you lied to me. CRISTINA Its complicated. DEVINDER The truth! CRISTINA You're not helping me. DEVINDER Let's hear it, godammit! SEVE Will you stop harassing her? DEVINDER What?! SEVE Im just saying, were all stressed out here, isnt that true? CRISTINA What are the chances? DEVINDER

Contract21 Damn right. Didnt know you were one of those housewives of Dixon County. SEVE You've lost weight, changed your hair. Looks good. CRISTINA You look the same, Seve. A smooth shell, only older. SEVE I guess I deserve that for running outleaving you the way you were. (DAWNING REALIZATION) Heybut you guys dont have any children? Hows that possible? CRISTINA What does it matter now. DEVENDER Whats it? whatre you talking about? SEVE (STUNNED, TO CRISTINA) No! You didnt! DEVINDER Didnt what? SEVE (TO CRISTINA) How could...I thought you wereWasnt it too late to get an abortion? CRISTINA It was. It was too late. SEVE Jesus. Im sorry. CRISTINA (BREAKING DOWN) It was a sin. DEVINDER (SHOCKED REALIZATION) You had an abortion?! You were pregnant?! (CRISTINA SOBS ON THE SOFA. SEVE PUTS A COMFORTING ARM AROUND HER.) DEVINDER (BESERK) How could you be pregnant? You told me you couldnt get pregnant, that something was wrong. CRISTINA I cant.

Contract22 DEVINDER All that bullshit about ovaries! You've been lying to me all this fucking time! CRISTINA I cant! I cant anymore! DEVINDER Its lies. Just plain fucking lies. All of it! Look at me when Im talking to you! (DEVINDER HAS REALLY LOST HIS COOL BY NOW. HE LOOMS OVER CRISTINA) SEVE Hey, take it easy! (DAVE GRABS SEVE BY THE COLLAR AND YANKS HIM OFF THE SOFA) DEVINDER Who the fuck are you to tell me to take it easy?! You better get the fuck out of my house before I break your face! (SEVE KNOCKS AWAY DEVENDERS ARMS IN A WAY THAT SHOWS HES NOT AFRAID OF A FIGHT.) SEVE Ill leave as soon as Crissies says the word. (DOOR BELL RINGS ONCE, TWICE, AND SO ON) DEVINDER You got three seconds. Three, two-. (DAVE LAUNCHES INTO SEVE. THEY TUMBLE TO THE FLOOR, GRAPPLING.) CRISTINA STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! (BANGING ON THE DOOR CAN BE HEARD.) MARIA Open up! Open up, Cristina! Are you okay? Open up! (CRISTINA RUNS TO OPEN THE DOOR AS THE MEN GRAPPLE, NEITHER BEING ABLE TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE. MARIA, CRISTINAS MOM, RUSHES IN THROUGH THE DOOR.) MARIA What's going on here?

Contract23 CRISTINA They're killing each other. Its Seve, mom. (MARIA THROWS A PITHCER OF WATER ON THE MEN. THEY STOP FIGHTING, DISENGAGE, GET UP AND DUST THEMSELVES, LOOKING LIKE BOYS HAVING BEEN FOUND OUT BY MOTHER.) DEVINDER (REGARDING MARIA) Great! That's all I needed. MARIA Cristina, I don't believe it! CRISTINA Yes, mama. It's Seve. MARIA How? Whats going on? DEVINDER Ask your daughter what's going on. MARIA (TO SEVE) Why are you here? (TO DAVE) Why are you fighting? (TO CRISTINA) What's going on? Will someone tell me what's going on? (SILENCE) MARIA Cristina, make me a cup of tea. Seve, how can you come here like this? Don't you have any shame? Look what you've done to poor Devinder. Come, let me take a look. Sit down. We must wash this. Cristina, por favor, bring me some water and a clean cloth. This is the last thing I expected to see in my life. Devinder, you have to stop being physical. Control yourself. I always worry. (CRISTINA HANDS THE WATER AND TOWEL) Is my tea ready? There you go, nice and clean. We'll just put some peroxide and you'll be good as new. (SHE TURNS HER ATTENTION TO SEVE) And you, Seve, you can sit down. I insist, please sit down after all these years. How long has it been? Eight years, no? It's not that I am unhappy to see you after all these years, but what you did was wrong. No one can run away from the consequences of their sins. Now tell me, why are you here? SEVE I was just leaving. DEVINDER Selling insurance.

Contract24 MARIA No! Is this what has become of you? For this you broke Cristina's heart? SEVE I didn't know what to do. MARIA What you didn't know? You get married, you make promises, you get my daughter pregnant, and thenpoof, youre gone? SEVE I think I had best leave. (SEVE GOES TO HIS BRIEFCASE AND SITS DOWN, HIS SILHOUETTE TO THE AUDIENCE. HE TAKES OUT A HANDGUN, CONTEMPLATES IT. ONLY THE AUDIENCE SEES THIS) DEVINDER Yo, get the hell outahere. Whatre you waiting for? MARIA Why were the two of you killing each other? What happened? Cristina, where's my tea? (CRISTINA ENTERS) Ah, gracias bonita. Sit down here next to me, Cristina. (MARIA LOOKS CONTENTED, SITTIN IN THE SOFA, CUP OF TEA IN HER HAND) So, now tell me everything. CRISTINA What have you told her? DEVINDER Theres nothing to tell. MARIA Seve, where have you been and why are you here? CRISTINA I'm sorry, Dave. DEVINDER Sorry wont cut it. SEVE (TO MARIA) I didn't know Cristina was here. MARIA Why you came?

Contract25 SEVE To do a sit. That's when you sit someone down and talk to them about their future. MARIA Very good. You wanted to be a writer but youre a fortune teller now? SEVE No, I talk to people about guaranteeing their future, not just thinking about it. MARIA Not even god can guarantee anything these days. SEVE I'm just offering supplementary income programs for their retirement. MARIA What? SEVE More money for the future. (CRISTINA JOINS UP WITH DAVE AT THE DINING TABLE) CRISTINA Are you all right? DEVINDER You were pregnant. You told me you couldnt have children. CRISTINA I can't anymore. DEVINDER You lied to me from the beginning. CRISTINA I was hiding the truth. It was my burden, for me to carry. DEVINDER The burden of your stupidity. I think its called marrying under a false pretext. CRISTINA We need to talk, Dave. Lets make that trip, clear our minds. DEVINDER Going to an island with giant turtles isn't going to solve anything.

Contract26 CRISTINA What is the problem? DEVINDER You know what the problem is. (TO SEVE) Yo, why the fuck are you still here? SEVE Look, I had better leave. (SEVE MAKES NO EFFORT TO LEAVE) CRISTINA You owe me an answer, Seve. DEVINDER He owes you an answer?! What about me? Who's going to answer me? CRISTINA You know all you need to know. DEVINDER Yes, yes. Until the next skeleton comes walking out of your closet through the front door. (THE DOOR BELL RINGS INSISTENTLY) DEVINDER Right on cue. Whos that? The real Steve? A short, fat Samurai whos going to go banzai on my ass? CRISTINA There is no Steve. (THE BELL RINGS AGAIN. DEVINDER OPENS THE DOOR) DEVINDER Who the hell is it this time? What is this a circus? (DAVE FLINGS DOOR OPEN TO REVEAL A PIZZA DELIVERY BOY) What do you want?! Oh shit. I forgot. I'm sorry, come on in. PIZZABOY That's one large pepperoni, sausage, and onions pizza with Coke. That makes your total 14.35. DEVINDER You're like an hour late. Don't I get it free or three bucks off or something?

Contract27 PIZZABOY We dont run that guarantee during inclement weather. DEVINDER That's sixteen. Keep the change (LOOKS AT THIS NAME TAG) Steve. Hahaha! Hey, Cris, here's your Steve for you! Yo, Steve, you get my wife pregnant by any chance? Hey, wait, here's couple of bucks for you. Drive safe, Steve! (PIZZABOY LEAVES) DEVINDER inner's served. MARIA ll this junk food will give you a heart attack. DEVINDER (WOLFING DOWN A SLICE) Its not the food around here thats going to give me a heart attack. Its going to be your daughter and what she hasnt told me. Or you, seeing as youre always popping up here like a jack in the box. Pizza anyone? (NO ONE MAKES MOVE) Don't just all stand there, have some pizza. Go ahead, Steve, help yourself to my pizza, my diet coke...my house, to my wife. Definitely my mom-in-law. SEVE It's Seve. CRISTINA Dave, dont start all over again. MARIA My daughter is upset. DEVINDER Why don't all of you gang up against me in my house. CRISTINA It's my house as well, Dave. DEVINDER It's always coming down to that, isn't it? MARIA My Cristina is as much a bread winner as you, Devinder. Come, now. Let's stop all this arguing and pointing the finger and hitting and kicking. Cristina and I will heat up the paella I brought for you.

Contract28 SEVE I had better get going. (SEVE MAKES NO MOVE TO LEAVE) CRISTINA Stay for dinner. DEVINDER Are you serious?! CRISTINA Cant handle it? DEVINDER Whatever. MARIA Come, Cristina. (MARIA AND CRISTINA GO INTO THE KITCHEN. DAVE STARTS INTO ANOTHER SLICE. CHEWS IN SILENCE, CONTEMPLATING SEVE. DAVE FINISHES HIS DRINK) DEVINDER What kind of name a name is Seve anyhow? SEVE Its from Greece. It means-DEVINDER Yo, forget it. Steve, Seve, its all the same to me. How about another drink? SEVE I guess. DEVINDER Let's see, whisky soda? SEVE Never tried it. DEVINDER Its the great colonial drink. What gentlemen drink. SEVE Sure.

Contract29 DEVINDER So, Cosmos, right? Never heard of it. Not exactly the big daddy of insurance. SEVE We're a door to door business. DEVINDER (HANDS DRINKS) Cheers, here's to...the future! SEVE To the future. DEVINDER So let me get this straight. You skipped out on Cris knowing she was pregnant. (PAUSE AS SEVE DOESNT RESPOND) What kind of asshole thing is that to do? SEVE The past. We all make mistakes. There's nothing to be done for it now. DEVINDER Easy for you to say, seeing as youre here fucking up my future. SEVE Don't lay your problems on me, pal. DEVINDER My problem is that you ruined her life. SEVE She looks like she did just fine. DEVINDER She can't have children, you bastard. Because of you. SEVE She didn't tell you the truth about it. Or about me, isnt that true? DEVINDER False! Of course she fucking told me! SEVE Take it easy, I appreciate your saying that. If she did, then Im correct in assuming that my visit changes nothing. Isnt that true?

Contract30 DEVINDER You dont have anywhere to get to, isnt that true? Youre that last guest at a party whos going to hang on till hell freezes over because theres nothing but the void waiting outside. I feel sorry for you. SEVE The ladies invited me to stay for dinner. DEVINDER Ha! You abandon a pregnant wife who ends up having a disastrous abortion that renders her infertile and you want to believe shes invited you to stay for dinner? Yo, seriously, you need to pull your head out of your ass. SEVE Im sure you can tell me how. DEVINDER You betcha. See that door? Why dont you begin by walking straight out of it and keep walkingdont bother looking back. SEVE I appreciate your saying that, Dave. Im halfway out already. Just waiting to say goodbye to Crissie. DEVINDER Its Cristina. SEVE Cris, Crissie, Cristina. Whatever. (DEVINDER CHUCKS WHATS LEFT OF HIS WHISKEY SODA ONTO SEVE) (PAUSE AS SEVE WIPES HIMSELF WITH A HANDKERCHIEF) SEVE Been ages since I had Marias paella. Best in town. (DEVINDER SMIRKS AND HEADS OVER TO THE BAR, SLAMS DOWN A SHOT OF WHISKEY, BANGS THE SHOT GLASS ON THE BAR. HES TRIUMPHANT, UNAWARE THAT HES NOW UNDER THE INFLUENCE.) DEVINDER You are such a little cocksucker. But I guess you have to be, selling whatever bullshit you sell door to door. Your knees must be calloused as hell. SEVE

Contract31 I used to think about something like this happening, when I first started. Running into you. CRISTINA You didn't even recognize me, Seve. SEVE You've lost weight, cut your hair. You look great. SEVE I couldn't breathe. I had to go. CRISTINA You were busy selling me, even then. SEVE I'm sorry, Crissie. Let me make it up to you. (SEVE LEANS OVER, PULLS CRISSIE INTO A LONG, PASSIONATE KISS.) SEVE I should never have left you Crissie. SEVE Let me come back, Crissie. I was asking you how you met Dave? CRISTINA Ah, yes! Sweet Dave! I was rushing out of my therapist's office. It was cold, very cold that day. It was snowing. I slipped. My portfolio spilled out everywhere. I was really about to lose it. Then, out of nowhere, Dave showed up. Dave helped me pick it all up. SEVE A small, insignificant meeting can end up making a big change in one's life, isn't that true? Take us, I walked in the door thinking just another sale, but I find you... CRISTINA Do you remember how we met, Seve? SEVE (TRIES TO REMEMBER) Let's see...I think...no...I can't CRISTINA It was in Andersen's poetry seminar, Seve. You asked me out for coffee to discuss Gertrude Stein. Buttons. SEVE (NOT BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER) Oh, yes...uh...I remember now. MARIA What are you children sitting there all quiet for! Let us have some music! Where's Devinder? Dinner's will be ready soon. Paella for everyone, how's that? Devinder should stop eating all this junk food. Seve, have you been taking care of yourself? Are you married now? Any children? No wedding ring. Ah well, Seve, after all these years, eight? nine? And my Cristina has forgiven you, has she? MARIA

Contract32 (SEVE SITS SILENTLY FOR A WHILE. THEN HE GETS UP AND DUPLICATES THE EARLIER MOMENT WHEN HE REVEALED HIS GUN TO THE AUDIENCE. NOW FOLLOWS A FANTASY SCENE, DURING WHICH SEVE REMAINS FROZEN WITH GUN, HIS BACK TOWARDS THE AUDIENCE. NOTE: A BRIEF BLACK OUT DURING WHICH A DOUBLE STANDS IN FOR THE FROZEN SEVE) CRISTINA COMES IN AND SITS DOWN--EVERYTHING EXACTLY AS OPENING SCENE) (DOOR BELL RINGS) CRISTINA (RUNS TO THE DOOR, HER VOICE WELCOMING, EXCITED) Who is it? SEVE Good evening, ma'am, this is Seve Skantzas, could I speak with you for a moment? CRISTINA Seve Skantzas? (EXCTITED CONFUSION) Seve? Seve Skantzas? SEVE I just need to fill out a quick survey, and then I'll be on my way. (CRISTINA FLINGS OPEN DOOR) SEVE Crissie? Crissie Gonzalez? I don't believe it. CRISTINA Seve, oh, Seve! It is me! (SLAPS HIM) How can you show up like this after all these years? How can you just walk in and walk out of my life? How can you just walk in and walk out, walk inSEVE Crissie, control yourself. (HOLDS HER TIGHT AGAINST HIM UNTIL SHE SUBSIDES) CRISTINA (RELEASING HERSELF) I am married, Seve. DEVINDER (ENTERING) Who is it, Cris? SEVE I just need to fill out a quick survey, and then I'll be on my way. CRISTINA I don't know...Seve. DEVINDER Don't even bother, Cris. We don't want any. SEVE Listen, I know you're busy and I'm busy so I'll just fill out this survey and be on-(DAVE'S OFFICE PHONE SIGNALS) DEVINDER That must be Pete from down under. I'll be right back, business calls. (DEVINDER LEAVES) CRISTINA Isn't it cold out? I think you had better come in, Seve. SEVE I appreciate your saying that. If we could go to your kitchen table, we could knock this out real fast and I'll be out of your hair, I'm sure you folks are busy, isn't that true? CRISTINA

Contract33 Here's that fax from Melanie. Dave just won't agree to visit the Galapagos with me. Do you remember how we had planned to-SEVE How can I forget, Galapagos. Where we wanted to go hear the same evolution song Darwin heard many years ago. It is better than you can imagine, Crissie. CRISTINA So you went? SEVE It was a dream come true. Almost. I would love to go there again with you. (DAVE ENTERS DRIKING FROM A CAN OF CHEAP BEER) DEVINDER So what's this about? I'm not interested in buying any insurance. SEVE This is assurance. Focused on living. On the now. Insurance is focused on death. Now if we could just all sit down together at the table, I can knock this out real fast. (THEY SIT COMPLIANTLY) Now, let's see, are you married? Yes of course you are. CRISTINA (STANDS UP) I have to tell you something, Dave. Seve is Steve, Dave, Seve is Steve. (PAUSE AS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CRISTINA'S STATEMENT DAWNS ON DAVE) DEVINDER What do you mean he's Steve? CRISTINA Steve, Dave. My ex-fiance. DEVINDER What? You lied to me! You never told me you were engaged to Steve. CRISTINA Seve. DEVINDER Who the hell is Steve? Who's Seve? Who's he? Who's who? CRISTINA This is he, Dave. The one who wrote, "For the love of life, for whom I journey, let me not alight in darkness." DEVINDER (POURS HIMSELF A GENEROUS SHOT OF VODKA) So this is Steve! Seve, I've always thought about meeting you, but not like this. Cris, why didn't you tell me his real name? Why didn't you tell me you were engaged? You lied to me, Cristina. CRISTINA Dave please, calm down. DEVINDER Bitch! Why did you lie to me? CRISTINA To put distance between what happened. The pain, the heartache! Him. To forget. DEVINDER Forget what? CRISTINA It still hurts! DEVINDER Belive me, this hurts me more than it's going to hurt you. Forget what?

Contract34 CRISTINA That I was going to have his child! DEVINDER What?! I don't believe it! You told me you could never have my children! That your ovaries were fucked up! CRISTINA Dave, please calm down! DEVINDER You fucking, lying bitch! SEVE I don't think I like your attitude, Mr. Prakash. DEVINDER (STRIKING GESTURE TOWARDS SEVE) Don't you fucking attitude me, Steve-shit! CRISTINA (HYSTERICAL) I don't know. I loved Seve like I never loved anybody else. I wanted to forget him but couldn't. SEVE Crissie, please get a hold of yourself. DEVINDER Yeah, that's right, "Get a hold of yourself, Crissie." SEVE Don't take it out on yourself, Crissie, take it out on me. DEVINDER Yeah, "take it out" on him, "Crissie." SEVE Look here, Mr. Prakash, Crissie and I go back a long ways, I'm warning you. DEVINDER You sonofabitch! (AT THIS POINT, THE TV WITH THE ELECTION CAMPAIGN COMES ON, AS DOES THE MUSIC, THE PHONE RINGING, THE DOOR BELL AND BANGING. THEY FIGHT AS BEFORE, BUT THIS TIME DEVINDER KNOCKS SEVE AWAY AND THEN IN A MAD RAGE GRABS CRISTINA, WHO SCREAMS AND STRUGGLES TO NO AVAIL. HE BEGINS TO STRANGLE HER. SEVE FINALLY RECOVERS ENOUGH TO CRAWL TO HIS DOUBLE AND SNATCHES THE HANDGUN FROM HIM) SEVE Stop or I'll shoot! (SEVE CAN BARELY BE HEARD IN THE DIN. DAVE CAN BE HEARD SHOUTING "liar!" AND "bitch!" AND LAUGHING VILLAINOUSLY. SEVE FIRES THREE TIMES, SHOOTING HIM DEAD. HE RUNS OVER TO CRISTINA. THEY EMBRACE) CRISTINA (PLEADING) Take me away, Seve, please take me away. (SUPPORTING EACH OTHER, THEY LEAVE THROUGH THE MAIN DOOR) (BLACK OUT. SILENCE. SEVE SWITCHES BACK WITH HIS STAND IN AND RESUMES HIS GUN CONTEMPLATING POSITION) (LIGHTS COME ON. SEVE, LOOKS AT HIS GUN FOR A LONG MOMENT, THEN PUTS IT BACK)

Contract35 (MARIA ENTERS, GOES TO WINDOW AND IS STARTLED BY SEVE, WHOM SHE DOES NOT FIRST SEE) MARIA Seve! You scared me! I thought you had all gone out. Look at them! My Cristina will always be a little girl at heart. (SHE CONTINUES TO STARE OUT, LAUGHING EVERY NOW AND THEN. SHE TURNS TO SEVE) Dinner's almost ready. Are you eating with us? SEVE Maria, would you like to fill out a survey I'm doing? MARIA I'm too old to buy insurance. SEVE Not insurance. Assurance--focussed on living. MARIA Seve the salesman. Are you good at this? SEVE The best. MARIA Is this what you wanted? SEVE What do you mean? MARIA You look the same, Seve, just as I saw you last time, but you are different. Your eyes, they are dead. (SEARCHES HIS EYES) Where is your life? SEVE Life? MARIA Life. BLACK OUT