Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Change? Not Me!
    Change? Not Me!
    Change? Not Me!
    Ebook231 pages3 hours

    Change? Not Me!

    By Roberta Cava

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Are you in a rut?
    Are you existing rather than living?
    Do you want to make changes for the better?
    Then this is the book for you.
    Chapters in the book are:
    Resisting change
    Stuck in a rut?
    Where do you want to go?
    How to overcome negative tapes
    Overcoming your past
    Adapting to change
    Implementing change
    Changes at work
    Changes at home
    Turning things around

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCava Consulting
    Release dateMar 19, 2019
    ISBN9780648443797
    Change? Not Me!
    Author

    Roberta Cava

    Roberta Cava is the author of 30 books. Two of them are international best-sellers. Her Dealing with Difficult People book was published in 1990 (23 publishers in 17 languages). She was born in Canada but now lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia.

    Read more from Roberta Cava

    Related to Change? Not Me!

    Related ebooks

    Business Development For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Make yourself HEARD

      May 13, 2020

      Make yourself HEARD
      3 min read

    • Article

      Dealing with CAVE People

      May 1, 2019

      What is a CAVE person? The acronym stands for Citizens Against Virtually Everything. It’s a term I first heard in the 1990s while consulting with a group of supervisors at a manufacturing plant. Metaphorically, it refers to people who resist any kind

      5 min read

    • Article

      Time To Say Goodbye To Bad Habits

      Jan 13, 2023

      Do you interrupt and finish other people's sentences? Do you find yourself frequently peering over the shoulder of a subordinate to make sure he or she is not making a hash of a task? Do you grapple with priorities in your life, missing deadlines, an

      2 min read

    • Article

      Spotting The Signs Of Stressed Staff

      Jul 20, 2022

      WELL-BEING As a leader it's vital you stay aware of how your staff are doing and know the signs to look for that could indicate mental distress. In 2021, researchers at AUT found that burnout had tripled - from one in nine Kiwis in early 2020, to jus

      4 min read

    • Article

      20 Career Tips For 2020

      Jan 12, 2020

      20 Career Tips For 2020
      5 min read

    • Article

      Grace Under Pressure: Strategies for Keeping Cool in a Crisis

      Sep 1, 2020

      OVER THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS, our lives have been upended by the global pandemic. The adjustments to life we anticipated as temporary are morphing to new, still largely unfamiliar ways of working and living. Our teams have endured these changes as we

      6 min read

    • Article

      Unlock A More Confident You

      Apr 29, 2021

      Unlock A More Confident You
      6 min read

    • Article

      Work It Out!

      Oct 26, 2021

      Challenging unhelpful behaviour can bring great benefits. Here are some key strategies for successful change: • Take it slowly. Small changes every day can lead to bigger, long-term changes. Identify little wins for yourself. If you want to exercise

      1 min read

    • Article

      Work It Out

      Jan 27, 2020

      Work It Out
      2 min read

    • Article

      The Secret To Better Flexibility

      Sep 5, 2021

      The Secret To Better Flexibility
      3 min read

    • Article

      How To Be Happy At Work

      Sep 1, 2018

      It boils down to three things. First, people need a sense of purpose. They need to feel that they are contributing in an impactful way and that their work is meaningful. Second, people need to feel hopeful about the future. They need to feel that wor

      5 min read

    • Article

      Why It Pays To Break The Rules

      Jan 1, 2019

      How do you define 'rebel talent'?Rebels get a bad rap. We mostly think of them as contrarians — colleagues, friends and family members who complicate seemingly straightforward decisions and disagree when everyone else agrees. But rebels also change t

      5 min read

    • Article

      Spring-clean Your Career

      Jul 29, 2022

      Spring-clean Your Career
      3 min read

    • Article

      Q&A

      May 1, 2022

      You spent years researching the world’s most successful people—including medical superstars like Dr. Anthony Fauci, astronaut Nicole Stott, NBA Champion Steve Kerr and several Nobel Prize winners. How did you come to define a ‘high achiever’? Success

      8 min read

    • Article

      Ask An Expert

      Sep 4, 2019

      Ask An Expert
      6 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Change? Not Me!

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Change? Not Me! - Roberta Cava

      Copyright 2019 by Roberta Cava

      Change? Not Me!

      Dealing with Resistance to Change

      Roberta Cava

      Published by Cava Consulting

      info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

      www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

      Smashwords Edition

      Discover other titles by Roberta Cava at Smashwords.com.

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      ISBN 978-0-6484437-9-7

      Are you in a rut?

      Are you existing rather than living?

      Do you want to make changes for the better?

      Then this is the book for you!

      Learn how to adapt to change; implement change; and overcome resistance to change in both your business and personal live.

      Roberta Cava is the owner of Cava Consulting in Australia. She is the author of 38 books and will be writing more. 32 are non-fiction and 6 are fiction. Her book Dealing with Difficult People has been an international best-seller since 1990 with 24 publishers and in 17 languages.

      BOOKS BY ROBERTA CAVA

      Non-Fiction

      Dealing with Difficult People (23 publishers – in 17 languages)

      Dealing with Difficult Situations – at Work and at Home

      Dealing with Difficult Spouses and Children

      Dealing with Difficult Relatives and In-Laws

      Dealing with Domestic Violence and Child Abuse

      Dealing with School Bullying

      Dealing with Workplace Bullying

      Retirement Village Bullies

      Keeping Our Children Safe

      Just say no

      What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

      Interpersonal Communication at Work

      Change? Not me!

      Customer Service

      Team Building

      Before tying the knot – Questions couples Must ask each other Before they marry!

      How Women can advance in business

      Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers

      Human Resources at its Best!

      Human Resources Policies and Procedures - Australia

      Employee Handbook

      Easy Come – Hard to go – The Art of Hiring, Disciplining and Firing Employees

      Time and Stress – Today’s silent killers

      Take Command of your Future – Make things Happen

      Belly Laughs for All! – Volumes 1 to 6

      Wisdom of the World! The happy, sad and wise things in life!

      Fiction

      That Something Special

      Something Missing

      Life Gets Complicated

      Life Goes On

      Life Gets Better

      ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

      My thanks to my long-departed father Bob Hastie who taught me how to be pro-active instead of reactive and to understand that if I didn’t try – that I wouldn’t fail, but I wouldn’t win either.

      DEDICATION

      Dedicated to the participants who have attended my many Change Management seminars and have shared their experiences.

      CHANGE? NOT ME!

      Dealing with Resistance to Change

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1 – Adapting to Change

      How to deal with change

      Take command of your future – make things happen

      Positive/Negative thinking

      Positive thinking requires 3 pre-requisites

      Are you a positive or negative thinker?

      Visualization

      Ways to deal with negative feelings

      Rehearsals

      Support Groups

      Chapter 2 – Resisting Change

      The change process

      Introducing change

      Meeting objections head-on

      Handling resistance

      Planning

      Planning factors

      Brainstorming

      Examples of brainstorming

      Making change happen

      Sample forms

      What do you want to change?

      Chapter 3 – Changes at Work

      Supervisors from hell

      Disciplines staff in front of workmates or clients

      Harasses staff

      Have temper tantrums

      Are moody

      Label their staff’s behaviour

      Don’t value or respect others’ opinions

      Don’t give recognition for a job well done

      Don’t back up their staff when dealing

      with customer complaints

      Don’t provide an adequate up-to-date job description with Key Performance Indicators

      Hire the wrong staff

      Don’t provide the necessary training

      Conduct performance appraisals on staff without

      a proper job description

      Use the same leadership style on all staff.

      Have one set of company rules for staff – another for themselves

      Don’t provide policies and procedures or employee manuals

      Have a poor work ethic

      Do nothing to improve the employee’s interest in their jobs

      Are not available when staff need their help

      Won’t listen to staff’s suggestions about better ways to complete tasks

      Have a negative That will never work attitude

      Are perfectionists

      Are workaholics

      They’re supervising former peers

      Upper management have not given supervisors full responsibility to perform their duties

      Use an authoritative management style

      Supervisor ignores the issue when staff member’s behaviour requires correction

      Don’t step in to resolve personality conflicts between staff

      Show favouritism towards pet employees

      Poor role models

      Don’t know how to manage their time

      Allow nepotism

      Don’t keep promises

      Too immature for supervisory role

      Bring personal problems into the workplace

      Promoted too soon

      Chapter 4 – Developing a good team

      Team changes

      Planning for team changes

      Overcoming cultural or personality differences

      Theory X and Theory Y

      Theory X and Theory Y Assumptions

      How to stifle innovation

      How to encourage innovative ideas

      The learning process

      Sensory language – visual, auditory and kinaesthetic

      Learner’s ability to retain information studied

      Teaching adults new things

      Characteristics of adult learners

      Team changes

      Planning for team changes

      Qualities of a good team member

      The effective group

      Problem team members

      Chapter 5 – Changing your job or your career

      What kind of job do you like?

      Use of abilities and Creativity

      Help yourself to a mid-life career change

      Making a mid-life career change

      Obstacles holding you back from making a career change

      Energy Levels

      Have low energy level?

      Detecting Type A energy

      What to do about Type A energy

      Detecting Type B energy

      What to do about Type B energy

      What kind of person are you?

      Personality types

      Strengths and weaknesses

      How to work with other personality types

      How these personalities react to change

      What could you change in your approach to these individuals that would improve the situation?

      Introvert/extrovert personality types

      Chapter 6 - Where do you want to go?

      Dreams can become a reality with goal setting

      Positive / negative goals

      Goal clarity

      Life inventory

      Using your potential

      Criteria necessary for successful goal setting

      Why is planning necessary?

      Lifetime and career goals

      Sample good and bad goals

      Guidelines for setting personal goals

      Chapter 7 – Changes at Home

      I have too much to do

      Obtaining help at home

      Family conferences

      Introducing business to home management

      How to organize yourself for work

      In the middle

      Well behaved children

      Chapter 8 – Stuck in a rut

      Are you stuck?

      Darren

      Marcia

      Marilyn

      Phil

      Jake

      Margaret

      Grace and Jim

      Susan and Bob

      Sally and Fred

      Agnes and Dennis

      How well do you like yourself and your lifestyle?

      What’s holding you back?

      Handling criticism and disapproval

      Indecisiveness

      Dependency

      Won’t forgive others

      Inflexibility

      Can’t say No to others’ requests

      Fear of success

      Setting expectations

      Do you do any of the following?

      Chapter 9 – How to overcome Negative Tapes

      How do we get negative tapes?

      Harmful negative labelling

      How to remove negative tapes

      Constructive criticism

      Rate your self-esteem level

      How to improve your self-esteem level

      Chapter 10 – Overcoming your past

      Dysfunctional homes

      Child abuse

      How to keep the cycle from repeating itself

      Wife battering

      How to stop wife battering and child abuse

      Adult rape victims

      Are you still blaming others?

      Chapter 11 – Turning things around

      Using your abilities

      Risk Taking

      How can I improve my risk-taking?

      How you appear to others

      Your appearance

      Your ability to communicate

      Non-verbal communication

      Enthusiasm

      Success

      Conclusion

      Bibliography

      INTRODUCTION

      Companies are merging, downsizing and investing in technology to meet ever-changing demands. Consequently, corporations are seeking employees who are competent in working with others – who are flexible and open to change.

      One of the main things people do when they want to implement a change, is to dive right in and simply do it. Unfortunately, most end up running into resistance from those who are affected (or who perceive they may be affected) by the change.

      Implementing change can be a difficult process if you have a new idea and want others to use it. Objections may be received from per groups, other supervisors or your own staff.

      When implementing a change that you feel may meet with resistance (and even those you don’t) planning ahead will eliminate problems.

      Most people resist change. It’s easier and safer to do things the old way. In these hard, economic times, an employee who resists or fights change, takes the chance that they’ll be let go or replaced.

      CHAPTER ONE

      ADAPTING TO CHANGE

      Unless you keep up with technology and not only accept change but be the initiator of change occasionally, you’ll simply be left behind. Therefore, it’s important that you identify the changes you’re resisting:

      In this tight economy, often four people are doing the work that five people used to do, therefore if there’s anything that can streamline what you do, then suggest it to your supervisor or manager. Don’t just give him or her your idea. You must sell the idea. This is where planning comes in. For example: You’ve found a faster, better way to process client’s orders. Before explaining the new system to others, you need to prepare.

      How to deal with change:

      1. Write down the way it used to be (be specific).

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      2. Identify advantages and disadvantages of doing it the old way.

      Advantages:

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      Disadvantages:

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      3. Write down the new way (be specific).

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      4. Identify advantages and disadvantages of doing it the new way.

      Advantages:

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      Disadvantages:

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      5. How could you make it easier for you to accept the new way?

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      6. Are there any other changes you’d like to recommend to your supervisor that might cut even more corners?

      ______________________________________________________________________________

      Take Command of your future – Make things happen!

      Don’t blame others for your self-esteem level and expect external things to change your life. Make things happen yourself. If it’s to be – it’s up to me!

      1. Don’t wait for big brother or your employer to see your talents. (You may be overlooked). Make sure they know where you want to go, and how you intend to help yourself get there (through education and training).

      2. Obtain career counselling if you find yourself in the wrong job for you. Become a positive vs negative thinker. This may involve eliminating some of your friends. Cultivate others who are positive thinkers as friends (it rubs off).

      3. Learn how to visualize (not fantasize), and how to identify obstacles that may be in your way. Determine how you will go over, under, around, or through obstacles. Don’t quit when you run into resistance - persevere.

      4. Eliminate anything about your appearance or health that you feel affects your self-esteem level. This could be bad teeth, skin problems, over-weight, smoking, excessive drinking or eating. No one can do anything about these problems but you. You never have a second chance to make a first impression - so make it a good one! If you allow these negatives to continue, you may be hiding behind your problem, using it to explain why you’re failing i.e.: It must be because I’m fat that people don’t like me.

      5. Energy level can be increased by obtaining a position you like and doing things you want to do. Make sure you’re using your full abilities. If you need training - get it.

      6. Take the word failure out of your vocabulary. Think of it instead as a learning experience. The more things you try, the larger your memory bank is of things you do well. Your success rate will rise accordingly. You MUST give your best effort to make this process work. Don’t be a quitter or give second-best effort.

      7. Don’t should on yourself, or say, if only, or start every second sentence with the word but (and give reasons why something won’t work). Instead, concentrate on the positives. People often get tired, not because they do too much, but because they do too little (of the things they want to do.) Get your motor running!

      8. Don’t automatically accept negative strokes from others. Whenever you feel a negative feeling, stop to analyse whether you’re reacting correctly, or over-reacting and giving others control over your life. Success of any kind - be it related to money, health, happiness, family, good friends, recognition, etc. is always preceded by hard work. Be willing to work hard to obtain what you want. Don’t expect external forces to give it to you.

      9. If all else fails, explain how difficult it is to be around negative-thinking people (use feedback). Marge, do you realize that you reject most new ideas and work hard to find reasons why things won’t work? Put yourself in my shoes, how would you like it if every idea you suggested was shot down by someone?

      10. Set goals or steps that must be taken to implement the new way.

      11. Follow-through to make sure others don’t slip back and do it the old way.

      Positive/Negative Thinkers

      Often our most difficult resistance involves others who are negative thinkers. That will never work, is their normal response to anything new.

      1. First get your facts straight so you can defend your way of doing things.

      2. Have others explain why they think your method won’t work.

      3. Anticipate their resistance – have answers ready for that resistance.

      4. Ask them to concentrate on why your method will work.

      5. Emphasize areas you agree on and discuss those you don’t.

      6. Have them identify the method they think will work better.

      7. Be open to new ideas – they might work!

      8. Try not to give ultimatums.

      Positive thinking requires three pre-requisites:

      * Imagination

      * The ability to visualize, and

      * The belief that they can do it!

      We use visualization when we look in a drawer for a potato peeler, or into a closet for a particular outfit. We see in our mind’s eye what it looks like, the shape, the colour and the size. But how does visualization differ from fantasizing? How do these two differ?

      Positive Thinking - I will succeed because...

      Negative Thinking - I will fail because...

      Those who fantasize usually aren’t in touch with reality. These are the people who really expect to win a lottery when their chances of doing so are so slim that they would be better to bank the money spent on tickets and allowing it to earn interest or invest it. Those who fantasize often try to reach unreachable goals and make a stab at reaching those goals but stop as soon as they run into resistance. These are often negative thinkers (or become so because they don’t succeed at obtaining their fantasies.

      The positive thinker who uses visualization, sees themselves reaching their goal, but also clearly identify obstructions they may face along the way. Instead of quitting when they hit those barricades, they identify how they can go under, over, around or through the obstacle. Then they identify the next obstacle, overcome it, and keep on until they reach their goal. This is done before their project or goal is underway. If too many obstacles appear, the goal can be dropped without wasting real effort. However, they must watch that they don’t cop out and give up to soon.

      Positive Thinking

      Attitudes

      Understanding

      Anticipation

      Expectations

      Confidence

      Patience

      Humility

      Belief

      Behaviour

      Enthusiastic

      Decisive

      Courageous

      Optimistic

      Cheerful

      Considerate

      Friendly

      Courteous

      Warm/Sincere

      Relaxed

      Results

      Success/Security

      Recognition

      High Energy

      Achievement

      Happiness/Love

      Growth

      Adventure

      Good Health

      Friendship

      Inner Peace

      Negative thinking

      Attitudes

      Envy

      Greed

      Anger

      Conceit

      Cynicism

      Self-Pity

      Suspicion

      Indecision

      Criticism

      Inferiority

      Behaviour

      Lethargic

      Indecisive

      Timid

      Pessimistic

      Grumpy

      Inconsiderate

      Unfriendly

      Rude

      Weak/Insincere

      Irritable

      Weak

      Results

      Worry/Tension

      Despondency

      Frustration

      Job Weariness

      Unhappiness

      Failure

      Poverty/Sickness

      Loneliness

      Fatigue

      Dissatisfaction

      Boredom

      Now it’s time to list all the:

      Positive-thinking people you associate with on a regular basis

      Negative-thinking people you associate with on a regular basis.

      Percentage of time (in a week) spent with each person.

      Are you spending more time with positive or negative-thinking people?

      I’ve learned to weed out some of my negative-thinking friends and encourage you to do the same. This includes relatives that can ruin your day. You can’t eliminate them entirely of course, but you can limit your time with them.

      Are you a Positive or Negative Thinker?

      To determine how positive you are, answer these 15 questions as honestly as possible. To score yourself, use

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1