Forgiving Cole: Cedar Lane, #2

Prologue

O h Cole, Mom gushed when I walked into the living room. She was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, which she set down as she walked toward me with a huge smile on her face. You look so handsome, she continued.

I stood in front of her in my black slacks and red button-down shirt, feeling embarrassed. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly, and when we separated, she stopped just short of mussing my hair like she normally did. Her eyes appeared to be wet, like she was about to cry, but she looked down and shook it away. By the time she looked up at me again, she was all smiles.

When did you get so tall? she asked.

Maybe the better question is when did you get so short? I countered, straightening my back to appear taller.

Ha, she mocked. Cute.

All right, I said, grabbing my house key off the table as I walked toward the front door. See you later.

Stop, she commanded, and I froze with my hand on the door handle. Turn around.

I looked up at the ceiling and slowly turned to face her.

Ah, c’mon, Mom...I gotta go.

This is the only time I get to see my only son dressed up, so I’m going to enjoy it.

I withheld the groan I wanted to let out because, well, I loved my mom, even though her favorite pastime was embarrassing me by heaping on piles of compliments.

Chris, c’mon honey. We need to get over to the Nixons’ before seven.

On my way down, my dad said.

The eighth grade dance wasn’t high on my priority list, but Laila had begged all of us to go. She could be pushy when she wanted something, and we usually caved. Then our parents had gotten involved, deciding we should have a special dinner and pictures together before we left for the dance.

Can I just go to the Nixons’ now? I asked, again with my hand positioned on the handle of the front door. Her brows pinched together as she thought to herself, and I widened my eyes. Mom?

Okay...we’ll be right behind you.

Thanks! I yelled as I rushed out the door.

Don’t take any pictures until I get there! she called out as the door slammed behind me.

The Nixons lived a few houses down from us, so a quick jog over and I was standing in their back yard on the patio Mr. Nixon had built when we were kids. No one else was outside, and I wasn’t too good at carrying on conversations with adults, even ones I’d known forever.

Lookin’ sharp, Cole, Mr. Nixon said as he walked outside, patting my back firmly as he passed.

Thanks, I answered, fidgeting with the cuff of my sleeve. I hated compliments, and it never failed that as soon as someone extended a kind word, someone else was there to hear it and add their comments.

He’s right, Mrs. Nixon said, smiling as she walked over. You look so handsome. I bet the girls are starting to follow you around, aren’t they?

Nah, I said, kicking at something on the deck.

You’re the first one here. Lai should be out soon, she said.

Okay. I’ll just be over there, I answered, pointing at the swing set in the back of the yard.

We’ll go inside and light a fire under her, Mr. Nixon said with a grin. You need anything? Water or something?

No sir. Thank you.

The Nixons’ yard had seemed so big when we were younger. They had planned to get rid of the swing set the previous year, but then Mrs. Nixon learned she was pregnant. Laila wasn’t exactly thrilled about having a new baby around, but once Luka came along, she loved him. We knew one day Luka would be climbing all over the wooden structure just like we had, though it was in need of a little work, probably because we still climbed on it every once in a while.

It felt like an hour waiting for everyone to show up, but since I wasn’t wearing a watch, I wasn’t exactly sure how long I sat there alone. My feet dragged along the small patch of worn grass, my black shoes collecting a smattering of dust from the action. I heard the side gate close and looked up to see my parents walking through, waving at me before going inside with the Nixons.

I started to wish the guys would hurry up and arrive so I didn’t look like such a loser sitting alone—that is, until I looked through the screen door and caught a glimpse of Laila with our parents. I slowly stood up and took a few steps toward the house to catch a better view of her. She was wearing a light blue dress, her hair pulled into a ponytail with curls.

I didn’t understand what I was feeling or seeing at that moment because Laila was one of the guys...right? She played as hard as we did and could pick a fight just as well, but then it hit me like a truck—she was so much more.

I was never nervous around Laila like I was around other girls, probably because we’d been friends since we were six years old. I could talk to her about almost anything, just like I could with Haden, Joey, and Braxton.

But how do you talk to Laila about Laila?

I rubbed the palms of my hands down my pants as they started to grow clammy and cleared my throat to try to push down the sudden weirdness I was feeling, but it didn’t help. Everything around me was at once painfully slow and all too fast, and I was unable to take my eyes off my best friend. My stomach started to feel the way it did when I saw Elise Diaz, and I knew then that I was in trouble because I liked Elise.

Do I like Laila?

What are we looking at? Braxton said beside me.

I jumped at the sound of his voice and looked around, wondering when he’d shown up. How long had he seen me looking at our friend? My heart pounded in my chest and I tried to calm my nerves.

Huh? What? Nothing. My parents just got here, I answered quickly.

Were you just checking out Lai? he asked with a smirk.

Who was checking out Lai? Joey asked before I could answer the previous question.

Cole, Brax said.

No I wasn’t.

Do you like Laila? Joey asked, speaking loudly like he always did. He looked at me then back at the house, where she was still inside talking to the parents, and then he lifted his chin as Haden walked toward us.

Did you know Cole has a thing for Lai? Joey asked.

I do not, I said. Brax is making crap up.

The others studied me for a moment then turned to the house to see Laila smiling and talking near the door. She laughed and placed her hand on her chest, the other one moving as she spoke. Laila was always animated, talking with her hands, but watching her from where we stood, it seemed graceful.

It was as if the same light bulb went off for every single one of them. They saw it too: Laila wasn’t just our friend, one of the guys, someone we’d known for nearly all of our lives. She was Laila, beautiful and outgoing and our ‘girl’ friend—a girl who would eventually have a boyfriend.

All four of us were standing in a line, staring at the house, no doubt looking a bit creepy as we watched her.

Joey was the first to speak, clearing his throat to get our attention. Hey guys, do we all see the same thing?

I think so, Haden answered quietly.

All I could do was nod as we remained in silence. A million thoughts ran through my mind at once, some good, others not so much. The idea of someone seeing her the way I did at that moment had me feeling jealous, and that was not a familiar emotion for me. I glanced at the guys and saw they all looked how I felt: lost.

I blew out an exaggerated breath then turned to face everyone. I think we should all agree that Lai’s off limits. That way no one gets mad and we can all stay friends.

Did I just say that out loud?

It sounded like my voice, but it was not something I would normally say or even truly wanted. When I looked at Joey, he glanced at me and managed a small nod. Haden’s brow furrowed before he spoke; he was always careful with his words.

But what if she likes one of us? he asked, finally dragging his eyes away from Laila.

Does she? Joey’s voice rose slightly, a tinge of hope ringing in his tone as he looked at Haden.

I dunno. Haden shrugged noncommittally. I’m just asking.

The four of us stood quietly, and in that moment, I debated all the possible ways it could end up. A part of me wanted to take it back and see what happened, but the other side of me—the side I rarely listened to—started to make sense.

What if I liked Laila and she liked me back? Was I willing to lose one or all of my best friends if it didn’t work out? Was I willing to ruin our group and make things awkward? Then I thought about Laila dating one of my friends. My neck grew hot at the idea of her being the girlfriend of one of my best friends—any of them.

No matter how it played out, things would change, and I wasn’t ready for that. Laila was one of the guys, even though it was obvious she was starting to change. I was sure we weren’t the only ones to notice either, so it was only a matter of time until she did have a boyfriend, and I preferred it not be any of us. Besides, if someone hurt her, I knew we’d all stand up to defend her.

I’m with Cole on this one, Brax finally said. No one dates Lai.

Joey? Haden? I asked.

Agreed, they answered in unison.

The screen door opened and I cleared my throat. Here she comes.

Act normal, Brax warned through clenched teeth before plastering a too-big smile on his face.

Hey, Laila said with a beaming smile as she walked toward us, her dress flowing behind her. Yall look so nice!

You finally ready? Joey asked nonchalantly, barely able to make eye contact with her. I elbowed his side and he coughed once then smiled. I’m just kidding.

You clean up nice, Haden added, his voice cracking as he spoke.

Laila did a little spin before joining us on the grass. When she was close enough, I noticed she had on a little bit of makeup and was wearing a necklace I’d never seen before. She wasn’t much of a jewelry person, so it stood out.

Look at my new charm, she gushed, lifting it up for us to see.

B? I asked, looking over at Brax, whose eyes were wide. We all exchanged quick glances but weren’t sure what to make of it except the obvious.

Braxton?

Yeah, for my barmy, she said with a shrug.

Lai...you didn’t, Joey groaned as he seemed to clue in to the meaning. She just smiled.

What the hell is a barmy? I asked.

Joey threw his head back and laughed while Laila glared at him playfully, her smile hidden by her scowl.

Boy army, Joey managed to say through his laughter. She said we’re her boy army.

Makes sense, Braxton said as he sighed. Because if anyone hurts you, you know we’ll kill him, right?

Laila rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were beginning to turn red. She didn’t need us to save her—we’d all seen her defend herself at some point—but I think she liked knowing we had her back.

Let’s hurry and eat so we can get to the dance, she finally said, leading the way back inside the house.

Joey and Braxton followed her, but Haden and I were a bit slower in the walk. He sighed heavily and muttered something under his breath. Haden was always laid back and nothing ever bothered him, but he appeared pretty frustrated.

You good? I asked.

In typical Haden fashion, he shrugged his shoulders and forced a smile. Yeah, whatever.

BY THE TIME WE GOT to the school cafeteria for the dance, the music was already blaring and our classmates were lined up to take pictures as they walked in. Laila had mentioned on the way over that we needed to take a group picture before we split up to do our own thing.

What Laila failed to realize was that none of us had any plans to separate considering no one had a date.

I’ll be right back, she said. I’m going to the restroom to check my hair.

Check your hair? Joey asked, trying to contain a laugh.

Braxton gave him a small shove from behind, and Joey straightened up and apologized as she walked away.

Dude, Haden whispered harshly. You know she gets it enough from everyone else.

Yeah, I know, Joey muttered. My bad.

Braxton grabbed me by the sleeve and waved the others over toward the wall. Listen, let’s make sure someone is with Lai at all times. If someone wants to hang with someone else, we need to make sure she’s not left alone.

All right, I said.

Are we supposed to ask her to dance or something? Haden asked, looking at each of us in turn. Joey’s laughter echoed around us, and Haden hit his side to quiet him. It’s just a question.

You like her, Joey teased.

Cut it out, Braxton warned. Here she comes.

We all stood upright again and smiled as she approached, but her smile was no longer in place. In fact, Laila, the girl who never cried, looked like she was about to lose it. Her eyes looked glassy, and if that wasn’t enough, her nose was red.

Joey was just kidding, Braxton said as he wrapped an arm around her.

Laila sniffled and shook her head as she looked at the ground. Our friend, who’d wanted so badly to be there at the dance, now looked like she was ready to bolt. What had happened in the few minutes she was gone?

I’m sorry, Lai, Joey replied, stepping toward her.

She forced a smile. I’m fine, really.

As she said the words, three girls walked past us and giggled as they looked in our direction. They turned to each other and whispered as they began laughing again. Laila’s tears welled in her eyes and she hurried to swipe them away, as if we hadn’t already seen them.

What was that about? I asked.

Nothing.

Yeah, looks like nothing to me, Joey objected, the smile he’d worn moments before now replaced with an angry scowl.

Please, can we let it go?

As soon as you tell us what happened, Brax said.

They were laughing at me, okay? Are you happy? she questioned angrily.

The four of us exchanged confused looks and I shrugged, unable to understand why someone would mock Laila.

Why were they laughing at you? Haden asked.

Because I fell for their joke, she answered angrily as she swiped under her eyes.

What joke was that?

They told me they liked my dress and when I started to thank them, they just started laughing, she explained, her eyes beginning to fill with tears again.

Kimmy and her band of minions are not worth your time, Brax said.

He’s right, Joey agreed. They’re just jealous.

Laila looked down at herself and raised her arms before dropping them to her sides. Of what?

You have us, I told her with a smile. Everyone should be jealous of you based on that alone.

Laila bit her lip to keep from laughing, but then she finally let go and the four of us were rewarded with her smile. Haden patted me on the back and grinned while Braxton wrapped an arm around Laila.

You good? Joey asked.

She tried to nod but stopped. I will be.

Joey smiled and reached for her hand. Let’s go dance.

Laila willingly followed, trying to hide any trace of hurt. Haden and Braxton started after them but stopped when they realized I wasn’t going.

What’s up? Haden asked.

I nodded my head toward the entrance, where Elise was standing with her friends. The guys knew about my crush so when they spotted the girl I’d talked about more than I was willing to admit, they smiled and joined Joey and Laila on the dance floor.

After five minutes, I finally got up the nerve to ask Elise to dance with me.

Chapter 1

Present

Hello? I ask, my throat dry and scratchy when I answer the phone. Just speaking awakens the hangover from last night, and I squeeze my eyes shut to help quell the pounding in my head. I reach for the cup next to the bed, but there’s nothing to grab.

The line is quiet, and I momentarily wonder if the call was part of my dream. I start to set the phone down, but then I hear the voice.

Cole, you there?

I raise my head a bit, resting it on my elbow, and clear my throat. Dad?

No, he says quietly. It’s Brax. Where are you?

I look around the room to check the time on the clock next to my bed, but nothing is recognizable. I look at the device in my hand, and my eyes adjust to see it’s seven o’clock in the morning.

What the hell?

Sunlight is trying to peek through the white blinds hanging in the window, and with another quick sweep of the room, the stained beige carpet, and dingy white walls, I realize this is not my bedroom. Hell, this isn’t even my apartment. There are several neon lights hanging on the wall near the window, and one with a parrot and palm trees catches my eye.

As I sit upright, I remember I was at Preston’s party last night and decided to stay in one of the spare rooms he has at the place he shares with some buddies. I’m no stranger to Preston’s parties or his home, but I guess being woken up from a deep sleep when completely hungover made it easy to briefly forget.

What’s up Brax? I ask, ignoring his question about my whereabouts as I rub the sleep from my eyes.

You need to get back to your place. I think your mom’s there.

My mom? What? What the hell is going on? Why is she here? Is everything okay?

Yeah, chill out. It’s fine. She got there and you weren’t there so she was worried. You just need to get to your apartment, all right?

I scrub my free hand across my face before running it through my hair as I try to clear the cobwebs from my mind. My shirt from last night is tossed on the floor next to me, and when I reach for it, my head begins to spin.

I must still be drunk.

I tug the shirt on, catching the distinct stench of beer and sweat. The culprit of the offending odor appears to be the yellowing stain on the front, and I do my best not to gag from the smell.

Before walking out into the main part of the house, I walk into the adjoining bathroom to relieve myself.

Are you pissing? Brax asks, a hint of irritation—or maybe anger—in his tone.

So?

I wash my hands and look at my reflection in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes aren’t too bad, but my dark blond hair is standing up every which way and my face looks worn. I run my wet hands through my hair in an attempt to tame it, but it does little to help and I don’t really care enough to give it much effort.

You need to get home.

Fine. Let me find Joey and we’ll leave.

Um...just... he stammers and then huffs. Shit.

What’s going on?

Give me the address where you’re at and I’ll call you a cab.

It’s fine. He drove us, so we’ll just take his car.

Joey’s not there, Brax says, pausing briefly before continuing. He...

Oh yeah, I recall with a sigh. He left the party early...wait, how do you know that?

Address, he demands, ignoring my question. Braxton sounds like the authoritative guy he’s always been, and it’s both comforting and annoying. I comply and give him the address.

In a way, I’m grateful, because I don’t have to do anything but walk outside and deal with this pounding headache. He tells me the cab will be here soon, and we hang up without much more conversation. As I start making my way through the house, I try not to stumble on any of the people sleeping on the floor. I know I drank a lot last night, but I didn’t think I drank enough to still be drunk this morning.

Braxton’s words hit me again, and I’m confused.

Why is Mom here?

I don’t recall her saying she was going to visit, but she’s been known to fly out to see me on a whim since Christmas. Dad still hasn’t come to visit since I moved out here, but at least things are better.

My thoughts on the reason for her visit are put on hold when I glance around the room and spot Mackenzie. We haven’t seen each other since the night she thought I was cheating on her, though it’s not for a lack of trying on my part. When she showed up to the party last night, I thought maybe I’d get a chance to explain things and win her back, but there she is curled up next to Jake, one of Preston’s roommates. I don’t know why he’s not in his room, but I don’t really care because that means she’s not in there with him.

Lucky bastard.

Despite everything that’s happened between us, I would give anything to have her with me. She caught my attention the first time I saw her, and she was one of the very few people who knocked me off my game.

I stare at her face, recalling the smiles she used to give me, how she looked at me like I was the most important person to her...and then the betrayal and devastation she wore when she said I broke her heart. That is the look that has stayed with me since she dumped me. Defeat hits me in the gut again, and I turn away from where she sleeps. I start to walk away then hear a whispered voice call out my name. I freeze in place, hoping I’m not imagining it, because I’d know her voice anywhere. Slowly, I turn to face her, and seeing Mackenzie’s beautiful brown eyes looking straight at me takes my breath away.

Yeah?

Her brows pinch together then she looks between Jake and me and sits up straighter. I can see the panic in her eyes as she glances around the room and back to Jake. I offer what I hope is a comforting smile, but she still looks uncertain.

Dammit, she mutters.

I resist the urge to rush to her side. She doesn’t need me or want me around, something she’s made clear numerous times, but I’m still a gentleman, despite what she thinks of me.

Need a ride home? I have a cab coming now.

Yeah...that would be good.

Mackenzie looks completely mortified as she moves away from Jake. I try not to stare, but I can’t help it. Even hungover, hair messy, makeup smudged, and breath probably nasty, she still looks good to me. She searches for something, and I point to a pair of shoes under the coffee table in front of her. Mackenzie cringes as she leans down to pick them up and hurries over to the door where I stand.

I feel like hell, she admits as she touches her head.

I’ve never seen you drunk or hungover before.

It...it’s not something I do—ever, she says, wincing from the pain.

I remember...but if it makes you feel better, it happens to the best of us, I joke, but she looks really worried about the whole experience so I tone down the teasing, timidly reaching out to touch her shoulder. She looks surprised by the gesture but doesn’t move away. Are you okay?

I-I... she stammers, taking the few steps to walk outside with me. She looks down at her clothes as if examining herself again then sighs heavily. I think so.

When she’s had a moment to relax and appears comfortable, we walk to the cab that’s pulled into the driveway, and I hold the door open for her as she climbs in.

Who was that? she asked quietly. The guy I was next to.

Jake. He lives there with Preston and Trevor.

I drank way too much, she groans.

You and me both, I answer lightly.

Where to? the driver asks, pulling my attention away from Mackenzie.

She pulls out her purse and begins rummaging through the small red bag. I open my mouth to give her address to the driver, but the panicked look on her face as she moves from her purse to her pockets gives me pause.

I don’t have my keys, she says, and then she leans back against the seat and grunts. Jen probably has them.

Jen?

My friend I came out here with. She was my ride.

And she left you here alone? I ask, hardly able to mask the frustration in my tone.

Cole...

We’ll go to my place and I can drive you home from there—is that okay?

Are you sure you’re okay to drive? You look about how I feel, she says, her brow raised slightly.

I might need a few minutes and some coffee, I admit with a laugh, which I instantly regret because it makes my head pound again.

Mackenzie nods her approval and I give the driver the address for my building, which is only a ten-minute drive away. Last night, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and when Joey tried to get me to leave early, I wasn’t ready because she was finally alone. With a clear head and a new day in front me, I’m not the least bit disappointed I stayed. Disappointed she was with Jake? Yes, but she’s with me now.

How’s everything going? she asks.

It’s going, I guess. Just getting ready for next semester. Not exactly ready to end my summer.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It’s quiet for a moment as we make our way back to my apartment. I look over at her and see she’s staring out the window. She turns toward me and opens her mouth to say something but closes it when she thinks better of it.

What were you going to say? I ask.

Nothing.

That didn’t look like nothing to me.

"Really, it’s nothing...I was just going