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    Geography Is Destiny: Memories, Experiences, Opinions
    Geography Is Destiny: Memories, Experiences, Opinions
    Geography Is Destiny: Memories, Experiences, Opinions
    Ebook88 pages1 hour

    Geography Is Destiny: Memories, Experiences, Opinions

    By Madelon Sheff

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    About this ebook

    Reinventing oneself is often necessary due to factors beyond one's control. Furthermore, where you live determines your lifestyle and opportunities. Being a woman offers other challenges. After a fifty year marriage, I found myself suddenly widowed. Although this is a sad situation, it is also an opportunity to write a new life chapter. While there will always be a place in your heart for your spouse, love can happen again, if you are open to it. Attitude is an important component and the ability to laugh at life will help you immeasurably. I have good information to give you and perhaps find useful as you navigate your senior years.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateMay 8, 2014
    ISBN9781491733042
    Geography Is Destiny: Memories, Experiences, Opinions
    Author

    Madelon Sheff

    Born and raised in the Bronx, New York, Maddy has also lived in Florida, where most of her dating adventures  occurred. Now living in Chapel Hill, North Carolina,  she is a proud grandmother and a magazine writer. In  addition to volunteering and socializing, she pursues  her interests in Mah Jongg, Bridge, travel, learning and  organizing social groups.

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      Book preview

      Geography Is Destiny - Madelon Sheff

      Copyright © 2014 Madelon Sheff.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

      any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

      recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

      without the written permission of the publisher except in the case

      of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      iUniverse LLC

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.iuniverse.com

      1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

      links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

      may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

      of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

      and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are

      models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4917-3303-5 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4917-3304-2 (e)

      iUniverse rev. date: 05/02/2014

      CONTENTS

      Prologue

      THE BRONX, NEW YORK

      New York Childhood

      Be Different Like Me

      Shlermie

      Water

      How My Career Began

      Charlie

      Keeping Hours

      FLORIDA

      A Greeting from the Dead

      Tale of Two Rabbis

      Widowhood: Navigating the Woes and Wonders

      Finding My Way

      Maddy’s Manual for Moving

      The Bereavement Business

      TRAVELING

      Raj

      Intact, on the Back of the Door

      My Contacts with the Beautiful People

      Arizona Adventure

      The Travails of Travel Over 70: Paying a Single Supplement Sucks

      NORTH CAROLINA

      Doing the Impossible

      The Beat Goes On: Stop the Music

      Carolina Coffee Crumbs

      Lolita’s Kiss and Mini Prose

      I’d Rather Be On Her Good Side

      Three Degrees of Separation

      Attitude and Gratitude

      Acknowledgements

      For Katelon and Annabelle with endless

      love from Grandma Maddy

      and

      In memory of my sister, Dr. Seana

      Shaw and my husband, Aaron

      Prologue

      A cynical reviewer might think, Oh no! Not another memoir by an old lady with a big ego, time on her hands, and the manic need to write about her not-so-extraordinary life! But what I offer readers are three valuable, related ideas to use every day: latitude, attitude, and gratitude. Making these three my goals has given me extraordinary experiences—not all of them good, but all of them interesting and some hilarious.

      Latitude has a double meaning. It pertains to geography, but it also refers to giving other people the space to be themselves without being judged. I tend to be judgmental, so I like to think of latitude as a place where I can live neither judging anyone, nor being judged in return. Where you are in the world determines what you will eat, the housing choices you will have, the friends you will make, the jobs and educational opportunities you may encounter and more—an entire culture that differs from place to place, far North to far South and back again. I’ve lived in three states: New York, Florida and now North Carolina. Each locale influenced me and helped to shape one goal: a bias toward latitude, a refraining from judgments.

      New York was where I was born, raised, educated and married. I worked there, and bore two children. In Florida, I became a widow after fifty years of marriage and decided to write about my experiences in the senior dating scene and widowhood. Writing was a catharsis that helped me cope with difficult situations—loneliness, rejection and lack of motivation. In North Carolina, I re-invented myself once again, but without my support system: friends, Mah Jongg and synagogue membership. I worked devilishly hard to reframe my sturdy, humorous attitude toward life, doing so by filling the void with grand-parenting, writing, painting and volunteering. Above all, with a gargantuan effort to send out my old sunny, resilient attitude because doing so helps me, too.

      The reasons for writing essays are persuasion, information, and entertainment, or PIE. Delicious, right? I tend to think iconoclastically about situations, but you needn’t agree with me. That’s fine, but I do have some information to share that you might find beneficial on topics related to the senior social scene and making adjustments after losing spouses and old places you have loved. Mainly, I want to entertain you and provide you with a smile, a smirk, a chuckle or a belly laugh. I tend to think of the brighter side of a situation, and my sense of humor has often helped me over the rough spots. Everyone enjoys a good laugh and sharing it makes it all the more fun.

      This memoir is also a chance for you to enter the perhaps unfamiliar world of a Jewish-American diva. My essays are influenced by latitude (geography), attitude (humor, always humor), and gratitude for my education, good health, and the chance to pursue my dream of writing—forever.

      THE BRONX,

      NEW YORK

      Part I

      Bagels, Bialys, Babka

      New York Childhood

      I had a middle-class upbringing in a suburban section of the Bronx characterized by parks, lawns, bridle paths, and farms. The mid-rise, pre-war apartment buildings were considered luxurious. Most of the apartments had one bedroom, large foyers and living rooms, small kitchens, small bathrooms, and a large master bedroom. The local public school was highly rated, with over-achieving students encouraged by doting, stay-at-home mothers. Fathers worked long hours and often six-day weeks. We were sheltered from the horrors of World War II by our parents and managed to live happy childhoods filled with play, books, movies, kosher delis, kosher bakeries, and camaraderie.

      After World War II, and the return of our soldiers, we experienced a housing shortage along with opportunities for economic growth. Some of the neighborhood families moved to the suburbs of Westchester and Long Island. My sister and I were surprised when a baby brother came into our lives. Neile was sixteen years younger than I. Our apartment, already crowded, became more so. Neile was two years old, I was eighteen, and Seana fifteen when my father died

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