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    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams: A Practical and Modern Guide to Raising Grandchildren
    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams: A Practical and Modern Guide to Raising Grandchildren
    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams: A Practical and Modern Guide to Raising Grandchildren
    Ebook148 pages1 hour

    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams: A Practical and Modern Guide to Raising Grandchildren

    By Sally Kabak

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    About this ebook

    Todays grandparents have many roles with their grandchildren. Some grandparents provide care on a regular basis when the childs parents arent available; others are great playmates with their grandchildren or what many may think of as traditional grandparents. An emerging role that some grandparents find themselves in is raising their grandchildren.

    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams provides practical help, encouragement and a wealth of knowledge and understanding to grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris NZ
    Release dateJan 24, 2012
    ISBN9781465306050
    Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams: A Practical and Modern Guide to Raising Grandchildren
    Author

    Sally Kabak

    SALLY KABAK was born in Wellington, New Zealand. In 1969 she married her first husband and had two children. Her son is living in Melbourne; her daughters whereabouts is unknown. In 1997 she moved to the United States where she lived in Washington Heights, New York. In 2002 she married Norman and they eventually moved to a small cottage in Hudson, New York. Norman and Sally returned to New Zealand in 2007 to raise their granddaughter. Sally saw a need for grandparents raising their grandchildren to be able to access useful information on the internet. www.raisinggrandchildren.net.nz was established in late 2009, which became an instant success. Sally was awarded two honours in 2010. Her blog was named as one of the top ten in the world by Grand Magazine of the United States, the only international one to achieve the honour. She was also named New Zealand of the Year for Community by North and South Magazine. Sally has appeared on New Zealand Television, been interviewed for radio and also been written about in various newspapers. Sally, Norman and Lucy now live in Wellington, New Zealand along with their cat Woof.

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      Book preview

      Grandchildren, Our Hopes and Dreams - Sally Kabak

      Copyright © 2012 by Sally Kabak.

      Library of Congress Control Number:       2011962336

      ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4653-9867-3

                         Softcover                                 978-1-4653-9866-6

                         Ebook                                      978-1-4653-0605-0

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      To order additional copies of this book, contact:

      Xlibris Corporation

      0-800-891-366

      www.xlibris.co.nz

      Orders@xlibris.co.nz

      700244

      Contents

      Introduction

      Our Story

      Reading

      Homework

      Water Safety

      Acknowledgements

      Bron Shrapnell, for her love, support, and guidance

      Norman Kabak, for his love and support

      John Shrapnell, for photography

      Moriah School for permission to reproduce

      Educational Hints and Spelling Words

      Autism New Zealand for permission to use

      information on Autism and Aspergers Syndrome

      Roger Steven for permission to reproduce his

      wonderful poem Follow your Dreams.

      Wendy Wylie, for her love and support

      Thank you to my beautiful granddaughter, without us

      raising her this book would never have been written.

      She is indeed a shining light in my life.

      My Granddaughter’s name has been changed

      to protect her true identity.

      Introduction

      WHAT ARE GRANDMAS?

      What are grandmas for? Grandmas are for stories about things of long ago. Grandmas are for caring about all the things you know. Grandmas are for rocking you and singing you to sleep. Grandmas are for giving you nice memories. Grandmas are for knowing all the things you’re dreaming off… But, most importantly of all, grandmas are for love.

      Author Unknown

      WALKING WITH GRANDPA

      I like to walk with Grandpa.

      His steps are short like mine. He doesn’t say, ‘Now hurry up.’

      He always takes his time. I like to walk with Grandpa. His eyes see things like mine do—wee pebbles bright, a funny cloud, half-hidden drops of dew.

      Most people have to hurry. They don’t stop and see. I’m glad that God made Grandpa, unrushed and young like me.

      Poem by Thena Smith

      SERENITY PRAYER

      God grant me the serenity

      to accept the things I cannot change,

      the courage to change the things I can,

      and the wisdom to know the difference.

      By Reinhold Niebuhr

      Life isn’t about how to survive the storm,

      But how to dance in the rain.

      The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

      Author Unknown

      May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

      Author Unknown

      Raising children is so rewarding as you watch your baby grow into an adult, yet it is never an easy task with all the outside pressures that come into our lives. When they are older, then you have to make the decision as to whether or not to return to work. Suddenly it’s over. They have left home, gone to university, or got married, and finally you are able to put your feet up and relax. Perhaps now you are feeling you would like to travel the world or start a project that you have had to put aside.

      Suddenly, without warning, your life takes on a huge change. You find yourself in the position of having to raise a grandchild. Something that you had never contemplated, but there you are with a child having to do it all over again. Your friends are not in the same position as you now. You feel isolated. You feel like somehow you are to blame that your own child couldn’t take care of your beloved grandchild. You start to think where I can turn to for advice and support. ‘Who is going to be there for me when things get rough?’

      Raising children is so different from when I was raising mine. Now we have to deal with the Internet, teen texting, drugs, and underage drinking to name just a few. I hope that this book brings you a wealth of knowledge and understanding that you are not alone. There are people from every walk of life that suddenly find themselves in the same situation. I hope this book gives you encouragement and practical help in being a grandparent raising your grandchild.

      Our Story

      My husband, Norman, and I, (he’s an American, I’m a New Zealander) were living in upstate New York when we got the call from a representative of Child Youth and Family, a New Zealand Government Department, to attend a family group conference. Our youngest granddaughter Lucy, had swallowed a small camera battery. and. It was clear that she needed to be placed into care while her mother, my daughter, got the help that she desperately needed. We travelled back to New Zealand for the conference and agreed to care of her for what we believed would be a period of six months. Unfortunately, my daughter didn’t want to go to counselling, and now Lucy will be in our care until she is old enough to make her own way in the world.

      MY DAUGHTER—MOTHER OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER

      She was so beautiful as a young child. Everyone that met her just loved her. Her smile would light up a room. She was warm, loving, and would do anything to please. Along came puberty, and with that, things started to turn sour for us. I didn’t see it happening. I was too close to her and also in an abusive relationship; it just passed me by as I struggled to protect myself and my children. One morning, my sixteen-year-old daughter came downstairs, suitcase in her hand, and announced that she was leaving home. The shock of it all was unbearable; the grief that invaded me was beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. The terror that perhaps I would never see my beautiful daughter again just wrecked me.

      I searched the city for her and, one day, spied her on the street smoking a cigar in front of a building. She looked at me and she went back inside. At least I knew that she was alive. Out of the blue, she phoned me, begging to me to come and get her. She had become involved with a gang. I contacted the police and they advised me to wait for them outside the house that she was living in. It was a well-known gang and very dangerous. I clearly remember the stairs being covered in dog faeces. The stench was dreadful and the smell clung to my clothes. The police got her out and I took her home. After three baths, she was actually clean and smelt sweet again. At last, my daughter was home. The thrill of having her back was lovely, and we got her a job. That lasted for a whole two weeks, and then she left again, this time never to return.

      Eventually, she became pregnant with her first son. Whilst pregnant, she cried rape and she phoned me from the hospital and asked me to come, which of course, I immediately did. What was going through my mind as I drove across town? How could anyone do this to my daughter? How was she? I thought she must be absolutely beside herself. But no. Instead, I found a happy girl full of smiles. She had got the police involved, something that she would carry on doing in her life. When they found out she had falsely cried rape, she was given community service and was placed in a hostel in the city. Unfortunately, her probation officer took pity on her and let her off her community service.

      When her son was about one, it became clear to everyone that she just couldn’t cope with a baby, and he was sent down to Christchurch to live with his aunt for a while. About eighteen months later, she had another baby. She eventually abandoned both them and their father and moved

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