Goldie, My First Love

2012 by Mitzi Mensch. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/28/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7726-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7725-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7724-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012906833

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

To Goldie, my first love

Part One

September 8-October 26

From:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

To:    Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

Subj:    Good evening

Date:    Wed, Sep 8, 2010 6:01 pm

Dear Mitzi,

Several weeks ago I was driving to the horse track with my twin sister Rosa and she was updating me on the reunion the week prior. She mentioned running into you and I almost drove into the ditch. I would have given anything to have seen you and have an opportunity to say hello. I had planned on being there but a business commitment prevented me at the last minute, hence my visit a week later.

I will apologize in advance for intruding upon you after all these years, but feel compelled to at least try to communicate with you. If this communication is unwelcome I truly understand. Bear with me if you will.

After we went our separate ways so many years ago, I missed you terribly. I could not turn back the clock so I set about to get an education, and become a successful person. In the early years, it was not always easy, but life has been very good to me. I have had a wonderful business career and have attained a high degree of success both professionally and financially. Frankly, at a level far beyond my wildest dreams. I love my work and its challenges. I went from being a street salesman to being CEO of several National and International companies. I left corporate life over a decade ago and started my own investment firm specializing in acquiring companies. Rather than retire, I have a lot of energy and truly enjoy the attainment of new challenges. I turned 65 this last August and in a few weeks I will close on a company that produces and sells candy Nationally. I expect I have five to ten more viable years in me.

I mention all this to say that hardly a day goes by that I do not think of you. You were the first real love of my life and the most meaningful. I have two kind of memories associated with our time together. First, having the wonderful love of an incredibly sweet girl. No one had ever been so kind, loving and passionate to me as you. I have many, many wonderful memories of those times. Second, I remember how terribly wrong I treated you, how I emotionally abused you, until you did the only natural thing . . . ended our relationship. I had some serious flaws that just did not allow me to accept the love you extended.

Over the years, as I have thought of you, I always feel embarrassed and ashamed about how I acted in spite of all the lovely things you brought to our relationship. I would talk to you in my mind and apologize, over and over. I spent years dealing with the character flaws that made me act the way I did as I wanted to be a much better person, the one you saw in me in our happy times. The memory of our relationship, and how I acted, motivated me to take control of my emotions, work hard, share kindness with a wide circle of people. The one thing I could not do was change what happened between you and I. So after all these years, I just wanted you to know how I have lived my life. A life that I think you would have approved of . . . and frankly, you were always, somewhere, at the center of.

Kind of heavy stuff, huh! Actually, I’m a real happy guy, have a great sense of humor and enjoy life to its fullest each and every day. I have a mantra of work hard and play hard . . . and you only get to play hard after you work hard.

I understand you live in HI and have for quite some time. Sounds lovely. I truly hope you have had a happy and rewarding life. If I have intruded in an unwelcome fashion . . . I certainly understand . . . if you are pleased to hear from me . . . that is great. Let me hear from you if you wish . . . if not I understand . . . I’ll close with a line out of that old Willie Nelson song, You were always on my mind, always on my mind . . . And you were.

Best, Always and forever, Goldie

How was your sunrise beach walk? asked Dolly as we sat on a bench to dry off after our water exercise class.

Wonderful, as it is every morning. But you’ll never guess what. The most incredible thing happened.

You found a glass ball.

Better.

Nothing’s better than finding a glass ball.

I got an e-mail from my high school boyfriend.

Is he single?

No.

Tell him to get lost.

I went home and read it again. Printed it out. Read it again.

Vivian called from Liberty as she did every day. My best friend since Kindergarten. We’d been alphabetical. Mensch and Metz, so we were in line together, sat together, always together.

You’ll never guess who I got an e-mail from.

Goldie. I knew you would. What did I tell you. I’ve got ESP about these things. This could be your second chance with Goldie, just like I had a second chance with Jim. Trust me, third marriages are the good ones. Write him back, NOW.

"Don’t you think I should wait a day or two? Won’t it make me seem too eager if I just hit ‘Reply’?

Mitzi, we’re not getting any younger! We don’t have time to waste! I’m hanging up. Now write!

From:   Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

To:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

Subj:    (no subject)

Date:    Thu, Sep 9, 2010 1:39 pm

Dear Goldie—

When I first heard of the reunion I hoped that you would be there. When I saw the list of attendees and you were not on it I was disappointed, but I saw Rosa’s name and hoped to have the opportunity to talk to her which I did. She said you were well, married for the second time and living in Texas. I wrote to Julie who arranged the reunion to tell her what a good time I had and thank her, and she wrote back and said Rosa had requested my e-mail address. I had a suspicion I might hear from you so I’ve been checking my e-mail every day. I was very pleased to get your message.

I am so glad for you that you are happy and successful. I am sure you have worked hard to achieve what you have. If I somehow was the motivation behind your actions then I am grateful to have played some part in your life. But you deserve all the credit for becoming the person that you are.

When I spoke with Rosa she recalled how very much in love we were. And I agreed. That is the part that I remember. I can’t even remember why we broke up. Whenever I thought of you I felt the closeness we shared. I never harbored any animosity about the way you treated me. We were so young and immature that we simply did not know how to handle the love we had. I hope you have been as successful in love as you have in the rest of your life. I’ve been a failure in that department. I had two brief marriages early on and a string of failed relationships but nothing in recent years. I am very envious of people who have been together with the same person for an entire lifetime. I think they are the luckiest people in the world. It makes me wonder how our lives would have been if we had stuck it out through all of life’s ups and downs.

It was very special for me to go back to Liberty. Massachusetts is incredibly beautiful. I even got to go into the house I grew up in. Jamie Kulzer—who lived down the street from me—bought it in 1973. He was at the reunion and invited me to stop by. He’s done some nice improvements to it, but I couldn’t help but feel that the house had shrunk.

Going back to your roots is a wonderful experience. And you are definitely part of that. Thank you for getting in touch. Your thoughtful words are very meaningful to me.

Love—Mitzi

As I hit ‘Send’ the phone rang. Ellen and Sue were at the beach, said the water was perfect. Drying off in our beach chairs we talked about the e-mail.

Ellen said, Remember, before you went to that reunion I asked you if there was anyone there you might like to see and you couldn’t think of anyone. Well, it sounds like he’s been thinking of you.

I guess. Hard to believe anyone could have been thinking of me all these years.

Sue said, Old flames never die out. The embers are still smoldering.

From:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

To:    Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

Subj:    Good morning

Date:    Sun, Sep 12, 2010 1:08 am

Dear Mitzi,

Thanks so much for your kind response. I sent the original note from Chicago, and frankly thought I might never hear anything back. The next evening as I returned to the hotel after dinner and saw you had written, I could not believe my eyes. Had I known that you were going to be at the reunion and now knowing you harbored no animosity towards me, I would have moved heaven and earth to be there to see you.

I’m glad you had an opportunity to visit your childhood home. I understand completely your statement about former homes shrinking. I have many pleasant memories of that house. It was a wonderfully warm home and, of course, it had you in it. I remember vividly when I would be visiting you and it would be late and I’d leave. I would walk out to the end of the drive and stare up to the light in your bedroom window. Knowing you were in there I’d just stand there in the cold till the light went out before beginning my long walk/hitchhike home.

I get back up to central Mass about twice a year and whenever I drive up Crater Road and see the place I would always be launched back into 62/63. My mother is still alive, a very active 91. About 12 years ago I bought a home in Liberty for her. She lives right in the middle of town, drives her own car and is in great health. So that is the reason I go back at least twice a year. She became a widow at an early age, moved to Florida for many years, and when she reached her mid seventies she wanted to be back near her children.

I am sorry to hear about your current life status. I always imagined you having a passel of babies and living in some idyllic setting with the love of your life. I had a difficult first marriage. I married someone that was part of my better person plan, and after just a few years we both knew it was a mistake. After a year’s separation I moved back home to help raise our children, and we did that for another 14 years. As soon as we were empty nesters we parted. Several years later I remarried. It has been 17 years now and the first seven were wonderful, then again the empty nest syndrome I guess. We are still married but frankly I’d have to give it a grade of C. You might remember in my note to you that I talked of my professional and financial success. I did not mention personal. Let’s just say that my marriage works best when I spend four nights out on the road in a hotel. More than you wanted to know I’m sure.

Hope this note finds you well. Today is a day off for all the hands so I’m up early to do ranch chores. I love the country and spend most of our time out here. I do maintain a condo in downtown Houston that I use once in a while when I come back in real late or just have some business in town.

Thanks again for your warm words and for remembering me fondly. Yes, we had a closeness that was very special. Yes, I too often wonder what our life would have been like had we not been so young when we fell in love. It was brief as relationships go, but wonderfully intense and exciting. I still regret how I just blew it . . .

Always, Goldie

From:    Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

To:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

Subj:    (no subject)

Date:    Sun, Sep 12, 2010 10:10 am

Dear Goldie—

It’s very comforting to me to know that I have been in your thoughts. I laid awake the other night feeling the connection and it was nice to know I was not alone.

On this visit to Liberty I stayed with Vivian and her new husband, Jim. She drove me to the neighborhood where her mother lived in her later years and pointed out your mother’s home across the street. It’s very nice and in a wonderful area. I’m glad to hear she is well. Interesting to me that she lived in Florida for many years. My daughter, Grace, lives in Florida and I think of moving there to be closer to her. She and her husband, Gus, are both college professors, she in math, he science. How about your children? How many? What do they do? Any grandchildren?

The only other time I went to Liberty was in 1988. I have to tell you this story because it is so ironic. My parents, who lived on Cape Cod, had died earlier in the year—three months apart. My sister, Karla and her family and Grace and I planned to go to the Cape to meet with the attorney about settling the estate. I figured this would be the last time I would have a reason to go to the East Coast so I wanted to show Grace where I grew up. I wrote to Vivian giving her my dates, arriving Friday, leaving Sunday, and asked if I could stay with her. Well, she called me all excited to tell me our class was having a reunion the Saturday that I was planning to be there. It was the 24th year and our class had never had a reunion before or after. How did I time that one?! I got to visit my old house on that trip too, so Grace got to see my girlhood home.

Do you remember Vivian covered for me one time so you and I could spend a whole night together? I told my parents I was staying at her house and you and I pitched a tent in the woods and camped out. I remember it was wonderful sleeping in your arms all night . . . Oh, memories of youth . . .

Love—Mitzi

From:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

To:    Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

Subj:    Good afternoon or should I say good morning

Date:    Mon, Sep 13, 2010 9:43 am

Dear Mitzi,

It was so good to hear back from you. Of course, I remember the camping trip, every detail of it. Do you remember the zipper breaking on the sleeping bag? And yes, my fantasy of holding you all night was fulfilled, thanks to Viv, of course.

Sad to hear that your folks passed within three months of each other. I always liked them very much, and I know at the end there they did not think I was worthy of their daughter, but given all that passed, certainly do not blame them. When did they retire to the Cape? How old were they when they passed? Hopefully they had time to spend some quality years in retirement, with just the two of them . . . enjoying each other . . . You must be very proud of your daughter. College professor indeed! I lived in the Sunshine State for a couple of years in the late 70’s. I was doing the corporate bit and moved around a whole lot in the course of a decade. Florida, Mississippi, Georgia, Arkansas, Louisiana, Texas. Every 12 to 24 months I got transferred . . . a little more money, a lot more work, but it gave me a great level of experience that paid off later in life.

After all the years in Hawaii do you really think you would ever leave there? I just figured your roots were down pretty deep. In any event if you ever did move back to the mainland I’d ask for a dinner date and come see you. I travel pretty much the entire country as in the 48 states.

Children, now let’s see. Two of my own . . . Fritz and Hedda. Both are involved in my business conglomerate, each have a family of companies that they are in charge of. They are hard workers or I wouldn’t have brought them in with me. They’ve earned their positions with a strong work ethic, like me, if I may say. Fritz is married with two children. Hedda is divorced, no kids.

I have two step sons. One has a lawn maintenance service, the other keeps trying a variety of jobs, nothing seems to have stuck yet. One lives in Lubbock, one in Waco. Both married, each have two kids . . . So, I have quite a brood . . .

Do you have other children besides Grace? By the way, do you work or are you independently wealthy, or both? I always figured that if you did work it would be doing something in the executive end of writing or publishing . . . don’t ask me why, but that is what I always envisioned you doing.

Do you travel to the mainland much? Hobbies? And yes, I bet you are one of those beach people . . . of course given you live on an island. BTW, what island do you live on? I’m sorry . . . I’m rambling . . . and asking too many questions . . . I just can’t believe that after all these years I am communicating with you. Rosa told me you look great, just a bit older like all of us, but look very much like she remembered you. To me, you will always be seventeen, beautiful and with eyes that look to ones very soul. Sorry for going on so . . .

Always . . . XO, Goldie

From:   Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

To:    Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

Subj:    (no subject)

Date:   Tue, Sep 14, 2010 2:50 pm

Dear Goldie—

I have a confession to make. I Googled you. Wow! I know you told me all the things you have done, but it is just amazing to see it all on the Internet. You have really accomplished great things. I am so very proud of you. I hope you’re not mad at me for snooping.

You asked about my parents. They retired to Cape Cod in 1973 and simultaneous with the move my father had his first stroke at age 60. From then on it was stroke after stroke, each one leaving him more debilitated than the one before. He was a wreck. My mother had a heart condition and she was his caregiver. It was too much for her. She had a heart attack and died first at age 69. He was 74. Their golden years were the pits.

I am definitely not independently wealthy. I have always worked although I am not working now. Most of my background has been in insurance and health care in marketing/sales/account management. My employment history has been spotty because my employers kept pulling out of the state or going out of business. First one insurance company put me out of work in the mid 80’s, then another one in 1991. After the second job loss I vowed never to lose another job so I decided to own my own business. That proved to be my downfall both emotionally and financially. I had been housed in an executive office complex during my last job when I was the only Hawai`i employee reporting to the San Francisco office. I had inherited just enough money to be dangerous so I decided to buy the office complex. I immediately started running a shortfall of $12,000 to $18,000 a month. It was the scariest thing I have ever been though. I was living in sheer terror. Each month I had to run around selling stock—which my father had had payroll deducted all his working years. I sold a rental apartment I owned to fund my loss—also purchased with inherited money. During the midst of my depression I sold my house (which I loved) because I was afraid of having anything attachable. I was ready to run off to the mainland, find some little hamlet, change my name, clean houses for cash. I couldn’t picture myself ever holding a responsible job again. Eventually my attorney negotiated a lease buy out with the building, so I could just fork over a whole lot of money and walk away. It wasn’t quite that easy, it goes on from there, but it’s not worth rehashing. It was hell on earth, I was living in a nightmare.

When the dust settled I bought another house, not nearly as nice, but it had a rental unit. It made me feel safe. I figured if the bottom ever dropped out of my world again I would have a safety net. I went into sales/account management in health care. When that employer went out of business I got myself into a string of real high pressure, high stress jobs. I just couldn’t handle it. I moved into my safety net and rented out the main part of the house. I went into a touchy feely youth services job that didn’t pay anything but made me feel good. Then a friend who I had worked with previously offered me a sales position at a retirement community. It was great but after they let her go they decided to do away with me.

So now I’m living on social security and rental income. I’m reading books and taking walks. I’m trying to keep it simple. I don’t mean to burden you. Thank you for listening. I hope this hard luck story doesn’t scare you away. It’s not all bad. Hey, I live in Hawai`i. I greet the sun every morning on the beach. I have friends. And now I have you in my life again.

Love—Mitzi

From:   Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

To:   Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

Subj:   (no subject)

Date:   Wed, Sep 15, 2010 1:50 am

Mitzi,

OMG . . . Reading about your parents was sad, learning of your life experiences owning property and working is heartbreaking. You certainly have not had it easy. My heart goes out to you. As I was reading the time line of your various circumstances . . . and relating it to my own . . . Fate has not been on our side. When I divorced in the late 80’s, and led a single life till the early 90’s, I really thought about trying to find you . . . Especially that first year. I bought a home on the outskirts of Houston, I was the President of the largest manufacturing company in Texas, so I threw myself into my work. I would be in the office at seven, work till seven, go to the gym, go to bed by ten . . . and lay there and ponder my future. That’s when I would wonder about you, and often thought about trying to find you. In my mind, however, I always pictured you, married, raising a family and all that . . . and I would just be an irritating intrusion and embarrass myself in the process. Who knows what may have happened if we had met in those days. Now that is weird to contemplate all these years later.

One thing that did make me feel good was your reference to sunshine, good books and friends. So, it sounds like you have learned from all your experiences and are not sour on life. I pray it is so.

So sorry to hear about your mom and dad . . . life is not always fair . . . and health is a valued asset to be cared for. I got up this morning, did my treadmill time, and lifted weights. I used to keep myself in peak condition, running miles every day . . . Just do not have that time, but I still do put in the effort to stay in shape . . . watch my diet and all that stuff. I usually only sleep five or six hours a day, up by four or five a.m. Today after my work out, I am doing a couple hours of office work waiting for daylight. Then we are working cows for a half day, then an afternoon of conference calls and what not on the deal I’m working on. Then travel for a couple of days on business. So, I just keep as busy as I can. Life is not a bucket list it IS THE BUCKET . . . so I live it every day . . . knowing we are all mortal creatures and our time is finite. O.k., off the soapbox . . .

No, I’m not worried about you checking me out on the Internet. I have been fortunate to have been part of lots of deals . . . and that has afforded me the opportunity to travel extensively and experience many, many things. Every day I count my blessings . . . and OH YES, I have had my very trying and difficult times. I have been on the wrong side of a deal and suffered financial and professional loss . . . had friends turn on me in business or turn their back when you needed them . . . but all in all it is all good.

My wish for you today is a day full of positive thoughts, a breeze on your cheek, a smile in your eye and a perk in your step.

Thinking of you . . . Goldie

From:   Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

To:   Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

Subj:   (no subject)

Date:   Thu, Sep 16, 2010 12:07 pm

Dear Goldie—

I regretted sending that last e-mail the minute I sent it. I could have told you a lot more gently about my employment/business difficulties. It was wrong of me to dump all that on you. But at least you know the truth and know where I am coming from. Thank you for understanding.

Talk about being proud of your children. Yours are doing great! Seems like they are all hard workers. I’m sure you are a great mentor.

Tell me about the ranch. That sounds exciting. I assume this is beef cattle. How many head? How many acres? How long have you had it?

Sounds like you keep in great shape. And it sounds as though your sleep patterns are a lot like mine. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep for eight or nine hours, but it never happens. I’m wide awake at 4:30 or 5. The only time I can sleep in is when I go to the mainland because of the time difference.

I don’t get there very often. On this trip in August, after Liberty I went to Florida, met up with Grace and Gus and then we went to Wisconsin to visit my sister, Karla and her family who I hadn’t seen for seven years. I love my sister but wish we were closer. It’s difficult to be with her sometimes. On that visit she seemed to delight in telling bad stories about me when I was young—some of them involving you. Let’s just say that your sister elevated our relationship, mine denigrated it.

I live on Oahu, on the windward side in a great little town called Kailua. It’s about a twenty minute drive over the Pali to Honolulu. I’m right on a canal that goes out to the ocean.

Rosa is too kind saying I look like she remembered me. I’m definitely not seventeen any more. I’m sure she told you I’ve let my hair go white. Is your hair still golden? As in how you got your nickname? Remember when I dyed my hair strawberry blonde to match yours?

Where are you traveling to these days?

I’m impressed at how articulate you are. I love reading your e-mails. Your words are very reassuring to me. And somehow I feel protected by being in your thoughts.

Mitzi

From:   Rheingold Gietz <goldiegie@zmail.com>

To:   Mitzi Mensch <mitzimen@hwntel.net>

Subj:   (no subject)

Date:   Sat, Sep 18, 2010 1:24 am

Good morning Mitzi,

No regret needed. I felt badly for you when reading the news, but also pleased that you have gotten through it with your sanity intact. Rarely does one go through life without committing some significant errors in judgment. It is how one climbs out of the ditch, and gets on with the business of life that counts. I trust you have found peace with all of that and concentrate on the present and future.

Sad to hear that you and Karla are not close. Sometimes sibling rivalries don’t enter the picture till later years. I’m very close to my older sister, Hertha, also with Rosa of course, being as how we were together from the beginning, less so with my younger brothers. But my real closeness is with Hertha.

Travel, I spend a lot of time in Chicago and NYC. I work with a variety of investment bankers and PE firms. The entire US is my business world so I talk to and visit firms all over the mainland. When we close this new deal I will then begin to work on acquiring add on firms and my list has me speaking with companies in CA, WI, FL, PA and Oregon. Doesn’t mean we buy them all, it means we visit, establish a relationship and see where it goes. I also have an advisory contract with a firm in Illinois, so I visit that company twice a month and assist the CEO and his Board in moving the company along. Also sit on two Boards, two different states. So all in, my work takes me pretty much to all corners of the country. It is rare that I go a week without several nights on the road.

My ranch? It is northwest of Houston and the main place is 1,000 acres. We have four homes on the property, mine, a ranch manager’s home, a guest cabin on the lake and a couple who serve as gardener/housekeeper live in another house. When I was putting the property together ten years ago I bought several smaller farms, hence the number of residences. I actually tore down two homes, a couple of shops, etc. We built a new main home, a stable, a couple of shops and a hay barn and equipment shed. We farm hay, grow beef cattle and raise quarter horses. Our ranch looks a lot like the area around Liberty if you can believe that. Rolling hills, trees, lakes and ponds. The big lake is five miles long and we sit at the very head of it with a quarter mile of undeveloped lake front. We have full time employees to handle the day to day, but it is a never ending job of keeping up with things. I am very particular about keeping things in good condition and repair. Must be my German blood. Prior to this I had a ranch in northern Texas, right near the Oklahoma border. Sold that and began working on this place. The real estate market is down, and when it returns we may put it on the market. I love it here, but it began as an investment and will ultimately end that way.

Sure wish you did not live so far away . . . I would love to look you in the eye again. I cannot envision you with white hair . . . and yes, I sure do remember when you colored it to match mine. You were a very beautiful lady and had the most beautiful face. Me? My hair has lost its golden quality, more brown now with gray on the sides. I keep it fairly short. My forehead is taller if you know what I mean.

As I write this it is just after six a.m. I got up at four, did my treadmill bit, drinking coffee and doing some work e-mails. I have two visitors this weekend, staying at the place and they want to go fishing at 7:30. So