From Darkness………To Light

From Darkness………

To Light

A Daily Devotional

Jenean Douglas

Copyright © 2012 Jenean Douglas

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Author’s website: www.fromdarknesstolight7.com

ISBN: 978-1-4497-7797-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-7799-9 (hc)

ISBN; 978-1-4497-7798-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012923010

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/20/2012

Contents

In Loving Memory

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Day One: Irritated

Day Two: Denial

Day Three: Impatience

Day Four: Frustrated

Day Five: Exhausted?

Day Six: Hopeless

Day Seven: Angry!

Day Eight: Unforgiveness/Forgiveness

Day Nine: Overcoming Anger

Day Ten: Anxious

Day Eleven: What Is Wrong with You?

Day Twelve: You Are Just Like Your …

Day Thirteen: You Make Me Sick!

Day Fourteen: You Are Going to Get It Now

Day Fifteen: Wait until We Get Home!

Day Sixteen: I Wish You Were Never Born!

Day Seventeen: You Get on My Nerves!

Day Eighteen: You Can’t Do Anything Right!

Day Nineteen: Reaping What You Sow

Day Twenty: If Only I’d Waited

Day Twenty-One: I Should Never Have …

Day Twenty-Two: I Can’t Believe …

Day Twenty-Three: I Hate My Life!

Day Twenty-Four: I Don’t Want to Go On, But …

Day Twenty-Five: Money, Money, Money, Money, Money!

Day Twenty-Six: God’s Child

Day Twenty-Seven: My Little Angel

Day Twenty-Eight: The Best Is Yet to Come

Day Twenty-Nine: Nothing Is Impossible if Only You Believe

Day Thirty: Your Tomorrow Is Better Than Your Yesterday

Day Thirty One: It’s Not about You

Afterword

Appendices

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Footnotes

This book is dedicated to any parents who may feel alone while raising their children. A heartfelt thanks to the seven ladies who graciously shared their true experiences as God-fearing single parents. Last but not least, I commit this book to my father, Moses E. Greene, whose untimely death on June 12, 2012, provided resources to fund the publication of this book. Thank you, reader, for trusting God and affording me the opportunity to share words of hope and encouragement as you raise your blessings from the Lord! You are blessed!

In Loving Memory

Kathleen Jelks

1/22/1960–7/24/2011

Dearest Kathleen,

Please forgive me for not taking the time to pick up the phone and call. I so enjoyed the times I came to visit you in Lawrenceville, Georgia. You provided the Kroger gift card to help feed our family, and you gave us many beautiful clothes your boys had outgrown. You also passed on your boys’ tricycles so that my boys had something to ride, and you blessed me with the Dr. Charles Stanley tape series on handling your emotions. We really appreciated your generosity. You provided quality used things. Your family took care of what God blessed you with, and we were the recipients of your generosity.

I am so sorry I have not called for the past four or five years. I don’t remember when I last talked to you. My life changed so much when the boys were diagnosed with autism that I allowed that to consume me. When my husband left us two years prior to that, I thought I could go on this journey on my own quite easily, for my mom raised me to be a liberated woman. But I was wrong. I needed God’s help and His favor to raise my boys.

The Lord prompted me on several occasions to call, but I didn’t. I even talked to Debbie two summers ago when I went to Philly, and she encouraged me to call, but I did not. My last recollection was that I left a message on your answering machine and I wondered why you did not call back. The Lord showed me pride kept me from calling you. I did not know you were battling cancer and had a double mastectomy. Then on top of that, I did not know you were fighting a brain tumor. If only I’d obeyed the Holy Spirit and picked up the phone and called you. I could have suggested you stop eating all sugar, for cancer can’t survive in an environment where there is no sugar—most people don’t know that. I could have encouraged you to stop using your cell phone; research has determined they do harm your body.

But it is too late now. I was devastated when Debbie and Lisa flew in from Philly and Maryland to tell me in person my college buddy from thirty years ago went to be with the Lord. And here I am, right here in Atlanta, and I did not take time to fellowship with you for years. How I regret my lack of obedience to the Holy Spirit. Well, Kat, I will do better in the future. I will use this experience to tell others to always follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit for those who are Christians. And for those who are not, I will encourage them to follow their gut feelings, for we know the Lord is knocking on the door of their hearts. God wants to have a personal relationship with them.

Kathleen, did you see the fifteen people who gave their lives to the Lord at your homegoing service? I had never seen so many people come to the Lord at a homegoing service in my life, and I am now fifty-one years old. Your life and death touched many lives.

And your boys have grown up to be eleven and thirteen! They are so handsome, Kat. I am praying for Phillip. My heart ached as I saw the tears roll from his eyes at your service. We will all miss you! I believe as you entered into God’s heavenly gates, He said, Welcome, my good and faithful servant.

As the tears roll down from my eyes, I remember you and all those who have died before you of cancer and tumors. A percentage of the proceeds from this book will go to the American Cancer Society, not an autism organization, because I believe God wants us to take our eyes off our situation and pray and reach out to touch someone else who doesn’t look like us and whose situation doesn’t resemble our circumstances.

I love you and look forward to seeing you in heaven one day. The Lord told me to send the boys birthday cards on your behalf, so I will do that from this point onward. Thanks for all of your seeds of love, for you were a very busy mom who took time to help us in our time of need!

Love,

Jenean

To God be the glory!

You are not alone!

God is in control!

Foreword

The author of this book is my sister. She is the middle child of three children, born to parents married in 1958. Our family had the usual childhood experiences and tribulations. One minute the family was enjoying a Sunday dinner lovingly prepared by our mother, and the next we were up in our rooms frightened by the sounds of our parents arguing. There were family visits with aunties and cousins and, of course, summer vacations at Nana’s (grandmother’s) house in the country. However, by the early 1970’s, it all came to an end, and we moved to Virginia, and mom became a single mother. We returned to Philadelphia that fall to resume our education. Jenean Douglas went on to graduate from Little Flower High School and Arcadia University (formerly known as Beaver College) with a degree in Chemistry.

It was difficult for Jenean to find a job in the field of Chemistry. A year or two later she accepted an invitation from a friend in Texas to stay with her. She was quickly hired by a world-known pharmaceutical laboratory and worked her way up the corporate ladder. When the company experienced downsizing in Texas, she accepted an opportunity for advancement in their Illinois office. As the big sister, I proudly made several visits to her over the years. We always had a grand time together. There is an unspoken closeness that can’t be described with my sister. You see, we were very different. She was the Goody Two-Shoes in the family, and I was the adventurous rebel. However, since we were sisters, we had a respect for one another that has never been surpassed.

Jenean lived in Illinois for about five years and one day announced she was selling everything and moving to Atlanta. What!? This was a shock to the family; however, I supported her as she struggled to find her way in this new town. A year or two later, she met her future husband and was married. I was her maid of honor. From this union, two boys were born. However, her relationship with her husband was troubled and he left the home shortly thereafter. Attempts to reconcile were never reached. After many years of Jenean praying to God to heal her marriage, she made the difficult decision to divorce. However, throughout it all, she never spoke an ill word of her husband in front of her children. She always wanted her sons to know their dad based on their personal experience and in their own time.

It is about this time that I remember Jenean talking about writing a book one day. I never put much into it. However, she persisted and eventually began to ask me to pray to have God help her to find the time to write her story which would include some of the challenges and blessings she had and was still experiencing in her life. In 2012, she asked me to read a few pages from her manuscript. Wow! She was really writing and had a serious story to tell.

My sister has a gift of transparency that you will quickly determine once you begin to read this book. On first glance, it may appear to be the story of someone who is bitter, broken and without hope. On the contrary, Jenean’s story is full of hope and healing and assurance that other women with similar experience will soon come to see. You are not alone. Not only can we have a relationship with the Lord, He has also given us His promises found in the Bible. If we think hard enough, we can look back and see how far God has carried us, sprinkling one blessing upon us after another.

As you read Jenean’s thirty-one day devotional with the Lord, perhaps you will pick a title that mirrors how you are feeling today. It may be that you are a single parent with children and are having a trying day that makes you want to say You make me sick to your Little Angel. Whatever is on your mind, take a minute to read this developmental book and receive that gentle assurance that you are never alone. There are saints here on earth that know what you are going through. In the book of Ecclesiastes it is written: And a three fold cord is not quickly broken.(Ecclesiastes 4:12b) Know that our Father God has made provisions for every facet of our life. This book is good medicine for your soul.

The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord, make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.(Numbers 6:26) In Jesus name, I pray.

Jenean’s big sister.

I am Brenda!

Preface

I was raised initially in a dual-parent home, but the thorn of divorce changed my family setting just prior to my becoming a teenager. Somehow, the very situation I never wanted to be in I found myself repeating: the generational curse of separation from my husband and the task of raising children without his help.

I never want another person to feel the sense of hopelessness, regret, anger, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, and frustration I sometimes felt in the midst of raising our twin boys. Then the doctors diagnosed our twins as highly functional autistic at three and a half years old!

God has been so good to us that I deeply desired to encourage others who are raising children. Please use this devotional as documentation of what is happening in your life. Set goals for areas you want God to develop in you. Don’t be afraid to admit where you are now. Life is a process, and if you are honest, you will see God glorified—if you are willing to take steps that will change your life.

The Lord informed me that He was not glorified when I referred to myself as a single parent because He promised in His word that He would never leave nor forsake me. He also said in Isaiah 54:5, For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of Hosts is His name and in Revelation 2:4 He reminds me that He is my first love when He challenges us by reminding us, Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. He will give us what we need. I just need to trust Him and walk in faith. You are not alone either, if you have acknowledged our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to be Lord of your life. So, from this point onward, we will refer to ourselves as what we truly are, and that is God-fearing parents who are fearfully and wonderfully made. We will practice speaking positive words not only into our children, but also into us. That begins now! If you have not acknowledged Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life, let me take the opportunity now to share with you something that is too good to wait until the end of this devotional.

The Word of God tells us simply what we need to do to have eternal life. It is so simple, beloved, that we as mortal men have made it more complicated than needed. As a Christian, I believe God truly created me as someone special, and the same applies to you and your children. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.(John 3:16NIV) This brief time you have here on earth is not even a millisecond