Goldie, My Last Love

Contents

Part One

January 18 - March 21

Part Two

March 22 - July 6

Part Three

July 13 - August 22

To Goldie, my last love

Part One

January 18 - March 21

His card crammed with cash that he stuck in my purse upon parting was another from our home town. It read:

Mitzi,

Thank you so much for having the courage to come so far to reconnect with me.

This has been an extraordinary three days—to actually see you in person and talk (endlessly).

It will be difficult returning to default e-mail status but your warmth, charm and touch will serve to enrich my memories.

Have a wonderful

balance of the week.

All my love, Goldie

"So now that you’ve been going on non-stop about all the wonderful stuff ever since I picked you up at the hotel, tell me the sad thing that you wanted to wait to tell me," encouraged Ramona as we sat down to lunch.

His sister Rosa had a stroke. She’s not expected to make it.

Oh, no.

If she were conscious he would have been with her, but because she’s in a coma he just couldn’t disappoint me. Although I told him I would have understood, I quickly added.

And she’s the one who got you back together. How sad, but at least she got to do this wonderful thing for you two.

I’ll forever be grateful to her.

I called Vivian when I got to Ramona’s.

Tell me everything, she said.

When I told her about Rosa she said, Rosa looked so good at the reunion. Who would have thought this would happen.

He didn’t want to ruin our first night together so he told me the next day. And his chin quivered.

He is an emotional man.

His chin quivered one more time. On our last morning, as we were saying our farewells he said ‘I never stopped loving you’.

I knew he never had.

Oh, Viv, I hurt him way back then. He knew when I got married. He saw the story my mother had put in the paper and thought of me at the reception at the country club while he was pumping gas. He knew all about my Army Captain husband I’d met while visiting my college roommate and her husband at Ft. Rucker, how we’d had a whirlwind courtship, and how I would be moving to Hawai`i while he was in Viet Nam. I could see the pain in his face when he told me all that.

And then he went and got married right after you did. Guess he figured you were gone, he might as well. I saw him with his first wife, you know. Not real pretty or anything. Guess he was just settling.

I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to him. I’ll never hurt him again.

Grace was next. O.k., Mom, did you keep separate rooms like I told you to?

Actually I got upgraded to a suite. And yes, I kept it all three nights.

Good. I told you not to sleep with him. He’ll respect you more this way.

I turned to Ramona when I got off the phone. Can you believe what a prude my daughter is? She says once the guy gets the sex thing he loses all interest. You’ve got to get him with the mind thing.

Well, you didn’t lie to her about the sleeping part.

Nope. I’m just such a poor sleeper I know I wouldn’t have. But I already got him with the mind thing, it was time for the sex thing. And it was great!

And with separate suites you maintained the mystique.

That’s right. By the time he was through with his business stuff in the morning I was rested and looking good.

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: miss you

Date: Wed, Jan 19, 2011 2:47 pm

GOD, I miss you . . . Home late last night, 7 to 7 in the office . . . I’m down in the theatre lost in the music with you running through my head. Two Stevie Ray Vaughan concerts and now watching Springstein’s 2 disc NY concert . . . Powerful. Miss you . . . miss you . . . Have a great week . . .

Love, Goldie

Ah-ha! A vulture capitalist, said Dean when I told him about Goldie’s business acquisitions.

He helps faltering companies.

He helps himself.

I’m proud of him.

I’m jealous of him. I wish I had the funds to do a little bottom fishing. It’s a great way to make a fortune.

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: miss you

Date: Thu, Jan 20, 2011 8:57 am

And I’ve been thinking how much I miss you! I keep getting lost in thoughts and they’re all of you . . . and us . . . and our time together.

Ramona and I stopped in Sausalito on the way to Sonoma and had lunch at a restaurant with Horizon in the name, but it had been the Trident when I lived here before. Sat outside on the water, had a crab sandwich. It was really nice. Then Dean fixed a wonderful pasta dinner. He’s Italian and a great cook. Yesterday Ramona and I went to wine country, bought sandwiches and took them to a winery, so we sat outside at a picnic table and they brought us a wine tasting—3 Cabernets from different places, Napa, Sonoma and some other valley I can’t remember. I tasted each one and she drank the rest. And then last night Dean cooked again, basil chicken which he ground himself and it had all kinds of good stuff in it. As I write he has a pear galette in the oven for breakfast. Today Ramona and I are talking about indulging ourselves—getting massages. That should be fun. Haven’t had a massage in years.

But the best part was with you. Goldie, it was wonderful. Words can’t say how wonderful, and I know you don’t need words. I know you know it, felt it too. Thank you for your note, and your generosity.

I better go eat the pear galette. It smells good.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Date: Fri, Jan 21, 2011 12:11 am

Subj: Good morning

Good morning island girl,

Thanks for your note of yesterday. 19 degrees here in Texas. That’s cold anywhere.

Glad you are having a good time in the wine country, and it sounds like your hosts are taking great care of you.

Holed up in the theatre last evening and treated myself to a viewing of that great Bogart classic, The Big Freeze. Then I built a big fire in the main fire place and went to sleep on the couch reading a business book. It is cold inside as well.

Rosa was moved to hospice late yesterday . . . Very sad . . .

The days seem to be just crawling by . . .

Love, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: good morning

Date: Fri, Jan 21, 2011 9:30 am

Goldie, I am so, so sorry about Rosa. There is nothing I can say to let you know how much. I trust you know. I’m so glad for you and for her that you got to spend time together last summer at the track, just the two of you. I have very fond memories of Rosa and will always be grateful to her for facilitating the reunion between you and me. And for giving credence to our relationship. That meant a lot when she recalled it so favorably. She is a special person and I hope she goes easily. I feel for your mother and the rest of your family as well. I just am so sorry.

Anything else I say just seems like trivia. Ramona and I did have a good day yesterday. Went to Calistoga, had our massages which were wonderful, a real treat, lunch, then went to The Castle. The guy who owns the Sattui Winery had always had a dream to build a medieval castle, as authentically as possible with a moat around it, dungeon and torture chamber, the whole deal, used building materials that would have been used hundreds of years ago. Of course there was a wine tasting, we tasted 10. Last night we gave Dean a break from cooking and I took them to dinner, an Italian restaurant that was in an historical house in Sonoma, you wouldn’t have known it was a restaurant by driving by. We had so much fun, laughed a lot. There was an empty chair at the table. I kept thinking of how nice it would have been if you were there to enjoy the company, the food, the ambience. It just felt like you should have been there.

At night I’ve been sitting on the raised hearth with my back to the fire. It feels so good. Don’t know when I’ve been in front of a fire place. The weather has been incredible, and the colors up here are unlike anyplace else. It is beautiful and all the little towns are so pretty.

Last night I slept for two hours, woke and stayed awake for two hours and just thought of you the whole time, wished you were with me. I relived every minute of our time together and I will keep reliving those minutes, over and over. You have enhanced my life, given me so much to live for. Thank you.

And I am so very sorry that Rosa has to leave this earth.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Good morning

Date: Sat, Jan 22, 2011 12:07 am

Dear Mitzi,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt note. Your kind words about Rosa are appreciated.

Nothing would have been more lovely than to be at the Italian restaurant in the empty chair. I, too, had a wonderful time. Enjoyed every minute. Unfortunately, it was not the happy go lucky, carefree weekend I had envisioned. Bubbling just underneath the entire time were my thoughts of what the next cell phone call or e-mail would bring . . . So for me, there was an element of bitter sweetness to the time together . . . However, I would not have missed it for the world.

I know you are traveling today and do not know if you will see this before you embark . . . It sounds like you have had a wonderful time in the Valley with your friends . . . That is great . . . Travel safe back to your island life and on Sunday, I’ll be putting out hay and you will be walking the beach . . . BUT, both of us are changed by what happened in about 72 hours in the Bay City.

BTW, halfway through the book you gave me . . . It is fun . . . A very enjoyable read. Love and be safe, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: Good morning

Date: Sat, Jan 22, 2011 9:08 am

Goldie—first thing I did before brushing my teeth or anything was to check my e-mail. That was earlier. I’m decent now. But I had to know right away. I was hoping you wouldn’t have the inevitable to report about Rosa. I am so sorry for what you must be feeling all the time now. I’ve been having a really fun time, but it’s tempered by this thought at the base of it.

I will say that having Ramona for a friend is like being teenagers again. We laugh so much and with Dean too. Yesterday we stayed in Sonoma which is just a beautiful little town with a picturesque town square. We went to a cheese factory and did a cheese tasting instead of a wine tasting for a change. Looked through the shops and galleries, then Dean met us for lunch, another wonderful Italian restaurant, another empty chair. Dean has been getting ready to go to an antique show in Miami, leaves on the 31st. Yesterday he packed boxes and shipped a whole bunch of stuff that he is going to sell there. He is a collector and, of course, a dealer. They have beautiful things. Last night Ramona and I decided to watch a silly movie, and so we wouldn’t bother Dean we went upstairs to my suite, put on cozy pajamas, laid on the bed with pillows and blankies and only watched about a quarter of the movie because we were talking and laughing so much.

Dean is cooking a frittata for breakfast. Is he something or what? I weigh 300 pounds now. Sounds like this whole visit has been about food, doesn’t it? Last night he cooked salmon and Ramona did the brussels sprouts. They are a great team.

Glad you’re enjoying Here’s Hawaii. It was first published in 1966 and I read it right after I came here in ’67, so it was a good way to get to know Hawai`i. Bob Krauss really captured the essence of the islands, so when I found the signed first edition I thought you might enjoy it. Hope you like the Hawaiian music CD’s as well. Keali’i Reichel and Amy Hanaiali’i are two of my favorite artists. Much of it is sung in Hawaiian, so you won’t be able to understand the words, but hopefully you can understand the feelings. And I hope you like listening to the language. I think it is beautiful—just beyond me as far as speaking it.

I’m wearing my palm tree earrings every day, together now with my rubber slipper. Love my Na Hoku jewelry and that you gave it to me.

Well, I think the frittata is about ready. My flight doesn’t leave until 4:35, so Ramona and I will have to see what kind of mischief we can conjure up before that.

Love and thinking of you all the time—Mitzi

Tell us everything, demanded Ellen and Sue when they picked me up at the airport.

I’m in heaven, heaven, heaven. It was wonderful, he was wonderful, it was perfect, everything was better than I ever could have imagined. Except for one thing.

What?

The very first words he spoke when he laid eyes on me were ‘Well, we’ve both matured, haven’t we?’

So he was saying you looked old?

That’s how I took it, and it made me wonder if he was sorry he was stuck with this old broad, and now he just had to make it through the next three days.

That’s how you felt?

That’s how I felt at first, but then as soon as we started talking, holding hands, kissing, I knew it was real.

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Welcome home

Date: Sun, Jan 23, 2011 12:44 pm

Hello island girl!!

Trust your trip home last evening was perfect. I read your e-mail this morning and could not help but smile. It is clear you were having a great time and I’m very happy for you.

Kind of a gloomy, drizzling day here in Texas. I have the fire place going and have been puttering around the office all afternoon. Tomorrow I head to Houston for a meeting, then dinner. Meet the head Zee guy for breakfast then over to my old company to talk about their cookie business . . . then on to Chicago and Buffalo. I will go prepared to travel to Mass to see the family.

No real news on Rosa. Apparently in intensive care they stabilized her, but the damage was already too much. She is getting liquids and morphine, nothing more . . . A nurse told my mother yesterday it could be a couple of days yet . . . Just pretty sad and depressing. I’m over the emotional part, just sad now . . . I appreciate the kind words.

I know this is short . . . sorry . . . I’ve been bumping into things all day . . . just need to focus and get my mojo back. Nothing helps more than a little people interaction . . .

Miss you . . . really do . . . it was way too short . . .

Love, Goldie

Just calling to see if you made it home.

Vivian and I settled in for a long talk.

Well, one thing I found out, I told her, the wife is drop dead gorgeous.

He told you that?

He didn’t say it, but the last night at dinner when I asked him if she was pretty he just gave me a look, like you better believe it.

Well, looks aren’t doing it for him. And you’re no slouch yourself.

Then I told him I had another question. He said to ask him anything. So I asked him ‘Do you sleep with her?’

Good question. That tells you just how married they are. What did he say?

First he hesitated and said ‘I didn’t expect that question’. But I just looked at him and smiled a little and he finally had to say something, so he said, ‘I sleep with her when she wants me to’.

What does that mean?

That’s what I wondered and what I should have asked, but I didn’t. I let it go.

Well, you’ve got his heart now. He won’t be sleeping with her much longer.

I hope not, because I just can’t bear the thought of him making love to her as givingly as he does to me.

It hurts, doesn’t it?

Bad.

Just hang in there. Just keep being the sweet Mitzi that he loves and he’ll be drawn to you. It may take a while, but you’ll see.

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: Welcome home

Date: Sun, Jan 23, 2011 2:09 pm

Every other time in my life that I’ve ever been away and come back to Hawai`i I’ve always been thrilled to be returning home, couldn’t wait to get back and see those Honolulu City Lights (Keola and Kapono Beamer song) bringing me back again. This time was different. I had a marvelous time with Ramona and Dean, as I think you surmised, but when I sat at the gate at SFO it hit me, hard. There was a map of the US on the monitor and there was Texas and there was Hawai`i and all I could think was that I was moving farther away from you, and that really brought me down, struck me that it was over. For so long I had looked forward to being with you, and now I don’t have that to look forward to any more. Our time together was everything I ever could have wished for and more, much, much more, but I felt this big clunk as I came down from it. Don’t worry, I am more happy than sad, like 99% happy, but that 1% is a big factor. I miss you beyond words.

Rosa’s condition is making me think how precious, how fragile and tenuous life is. We need to grab onto every minute and not let it get away because it can be gone in a flash. Life is a fleeting gift.

I’m glad you have business to attend to, people to see, places to go. But then I’m sorry for the reason to go to Liberty. You certainly have been on an emotional roller coaster. I wish I could be with you. But please know that I am.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: good morning

Date: Mon, Jan 24, 2011 6:50 am

Thanks so much for your note last evening. Just wanted to say a good morning to you.

I had 24 work related e-mails by nine am so am covered up.

Have a great day and I will write you this evening from the condo.

Love, Goldie

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Good evening

Date: Mon, Jan 24, 2011 4:22 pm

My meeting went long today, and continued into a dinner situation. Just got to the condo (eight pm). Hope you had a great day . . . reconnecting with your friends, the beach and everything else.

Understand the let down you felt. I did as well, and compounded with the Rosa news . . . It was a double blow. Nothing much new to report there . . . Every day they think this can’t go on another day, yet it does . . . They have begun making arrangements for her. I did not know this, but years ago she decided on cremation. They will have a church service for her in the same church where she and Jimmy were married. Then a get together for family and friends afterward. So, now all we can do is just wait . . .

When I left the hotel the other noon it hit me immediately . . . I could not stand outside the hotel, I had to move my feet, so I headed up the hill and went two blocks before I hailed a cab. We had to part much too soon. It was wonderful seeing you again . . . there we were fifty years later, still able to laugh, talk and enjoy each other. Time may have passed but our mutual attraction did not . . . It is a more mature attraction, but I really enjoyed just talking and sharing our life stories . . .

Your spirit is very strong in my being. Yesterday, feeding the cattle, my mind was with you . . . today driving in the city, you were there with me. Silly? I do not think so . . . It is all very real to me . . .

I was very happy when I heard of all the fun you had in Sonoma. It sounds like such a neat place and you saw it not like a tourist, but with some folks that have lived there for a while and know their way around. You seem to have a wide collection of neat friends . . . I envy you that . . .

Last night was another one of those read yourself to sleep in front of the fire place nights. I find the flames and their reflection on the walls peaceful and comforting. And, the book (about investment banking) as good as a sleeping pill . . .

Have a good evening . . . Tomorrow I finish up the day in Buffalo . . . so it will be a long one . . .

Love, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Hi

Date: Mon, Jan 24, 2011 6:50 pm

I’m so sorry it has gotten to the point where arrangements are being made for Rosa. When I saw her five months ago I never would have dreamed that she would be leaving the world such a short time later. But then I never would have dreamed that you and I would reunite. These unexpected events seem so ironic in juxtaposition, one tragedy and one miracle, emanating from the same encounter. I have been on the brink of tears all day, thinking about both. I’ve been going about town, doing normal stuff, but the sadness for her and the longing for you are with me every minute. To be honest, my heart is aching. All these feelings are coming out of it but have no place to go. I need to hug you and feel you hug me. I am not a needy person, but there is tremendous conflict of emotion right now. My energy is way down. Before the trip I was charged full of energy, had it to burn. Last night I went to bed super early, woke several times during the night, but kept going back to sleep, just wanted to sleep. Sorry to be on such a downer.

But what was great was how natural it felt with you, totally comfortable and right, just like it was years ago. When you first called my room my voice didn’t sound like me, my vocal chords were constricted, my hands were like ice, I was shaking, didn’t feel like I could make it down to the lobby without my knees buckling, so that’s why I asked you to come to me, and you did, and you put me at ease immediately. Those three days went so very fast, not to sound greedy, but it left me wanting you more. You have awakened so much in me, all good things.

I don’t want you to envy me my friends. I would like my friends to be yours too. I couldn’t help but think how much fun we all could have together, to share friendships.

Goldie, I’m sorry if I’m saying too much, but somehow you make it seem safe to express my feelings.

I’ve been hearing how cold it is on the mainland. I hope you don’t freeze in Buffalo. But I’m glad you’re busy, to keep your mind occupied.

I’ll be praying for Rosa, and yes, to answer the question you asked at breakfast our last morning, I do want there to be an afterlife. I hope it is a good one for her, full of peace, love and beauty.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Good evening island girl

Date: Tue, Jan 25, 2011 6:06 pm

Thank you so much for the lovely note last evening. I would have answered it this morning, but I had a very busy day, even by my standards. It was a good day to be sure. Met the founder of Zee at seven, I introduced him to an investment banker I know that can help us over breakfast. Went over to my old company and had a morning meeting with the svp of corp development . . . Presented our credentials, and had a detailed discussion regarding their cookie assets. Then on to the airport, and a few stops later a dinner meeting with the CEO. I just checked into my room at 11 pm to do some work prior to our board meeting in the morning. This is one of those 18 hour days you have from time to time. I have to present a plan to grow the business beyond the 10% increase that we have in the budget, get it approved and implemented . . . so lots of work to do . . . I can feel my head hitting the pillow as I type this . . .

Thank you for the words about Rosa. I do believe in heaven . . . and I do believe we all go there, if we lead a good life. We do not have to be saints . . . just live by the Golden Rule . . . and do no harm . . . I’m sorry that she in this life will not have the pleasure of knowing that she was the lynch pin in you and I getting back together . . . She will know . . . but not from me or you . . . Yes, it is amazing how things work out, isn’t it?

Yes, three days went by too, too fast. I have etched in memory, what we did and all that . . . the lunch at the Palace Hotel, Dungeness crab on Fisherman’s Wharf, the Cliff House . . . It was all so very special and fleeting. Yes, it was amazing how the years fell away . . . and how easily we became one again. It was real all those years ago, wasn’t it? I knew it and would not let it go. The circle is yet again unbroken.

I read the Hawaii book on the plane. It is real interesting. It must have been a wonderful place back in the 60’s. I am really enjoying learning about your home . . . and its beginnings as a State.

I hope you had a good day . . . Do not get too down regarding Rosa. She is moving on to a better place. Please rejoice in our renewed connection . . . It is all good . . . and DAMN girl!, I wish you did not live so far away . . . Maybe this is the supreme test for us . . .

I’m going to do my work and go to sleep and dream of a far away island with a wonderful girl at the end of the rainbow . . .

Sweet dreams to you too . . .

Aloha, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: I’ll remember you

Date: Tue, Jan 25, 2011 7:26 pm

That song—I’ll Remember You—has been going through my head all day. Written by Kui Lee who died in 1966, only 33 years old. He wrote frantically at the end knowing he was dying, never to return to Hawai`i. Not to sound too morbid, but I would like that song played at my memorial service, if there is one. His music was of the 60’s, of the period you have been reading about. It was truly a special time here.

I’m so glad you had a full, though long, but rewarding day. And I am amazed, but very happy, that you had the time and energy to write to me. When it started getting late in the day I thought you might have gone to Liberty. I hate to admit it, but I do get anxious when I don’t hear from you. I need my fix. And then I open my mailbox and you are there and I immediately relax and smile.

I have to get out of my head! I got an audition announcement today so think I will try out for a play this weekend. It is Dangerous Liaisons which was a movie in the 80’s starring Glen Close, Michelle Pfiffer and John Malcovich, took place just before the French Revolution, so beautiful period costumes. Only problem is this is the director who likes to cast her daughters, but who knows, maybe this is my time, won’t know if I don’t try. And it would keep me busy for 8-10 weeks. And then I have the VGAL training this weekend. And that’s good because I need to focus outwardly, on other people. I love having you with me all the time and thoughts of us are constant, but it is too, too intense. Before SF there was a very strong emotional connection, but now the oxytocin stuff has kicked in, and there is no bargaining with this bonding hormone. It is in charge and it’s driving me nuts. So I HAVE to do something else! I have to do something else because all I really want is to be with you. And that’s the one thing I can’t have. I’m very frustrated.

Not to rub it in, but the sky has been clear blue, the winds calm, daytime temperature 80, night a cool 65, all the stars twinkling in the morning. One thing I like here the best is the air. The minute I step off the airplane I can feel it caressing my skin. And it is filled with the fragrance of flowers.

I miss you. I can’t help it. I just miss you.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Your audition

Date: Wed, Jan 26, 2011 11:44 am

Dearest Mitzi,

What a wonderful surprise!!! I’m so pleased that you are considering a return to the theater. I was so happy to read that. When you were talking about the various roles you had, and the plays you appeared in, your eyes sparkled and your face just lit up!! I think it would be great if you were chosen. I understand the bias you are aware of with the director . . . but going for it is the right thing to do . . . If you just get up there and shake the dust off your vocal chords I just know you will get a big lift. And, if you do not get chosen for a part, you can just wait till the next opportunity when perhaps there will be a different director.

I miss you too . . . Very much . . . Seems unfair, doesn’t it? We are looking at a couple of companies in Florida. If we were to do them, we could combine them and run them both from one location. It might just spur you to make a trip to the Sunshine State . . . Long shot, this early in the game . . . but you never know!!

No news from Liberty . . . So, I will get on the plane tomorrow morning and head back to Texas.

Board meeting went well today. We are under performing a bit on the sales side. Friday I have a telephonic Board meeting of the cookie company, and a conference call on a new company an investor wants me to join in on. So, almost every day, new things crop up.

Have a good evening. I woke this morning in a dream like state and you were surfing through my brain . . . I miss you too . . . very much.

Love, Goldie

There was just one thing that really bothered me, I told Sylvia as we walked the beach. He expected me to masquerade as an investor if we were spotted by anyone he knew.

How insulting!

Exactly. He seems to be mighty protective of this marriage he claims to want out of.

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Dangerous Liaisons

Date: Wed, Jan 26, 2011 4:50 pm

Thank you for your vote of confidence about the audition. Your enthusiasm is appreciated. You do sense acting is important to me. It’s telling a story, connecting with an audience, relating it to them. And I think it would be just what I need about now. I’ll give it my best shot and see how it goes.

Companies in Florida . . . that’s as far away from Hawai`i as you can get! But I do have motivation to go there so who knows. I like that you are thinking of another liaison, guess I have the word ‘liaison’ on the mind because of the play. Is it dangerous? I guess the word illicit is implied in the definition. That’s the only part I don’t like, but you know that. It just feels so right and I want it to be right.

We’re going out to dinner tomorrow for Ellen’s birthday. I think there will be six of us.

Talked to Grace today. She has an appointment in February with a fertility specialist. I do feel bad for her that the pregnancy thing isn’t happening naturally.

I’m back to walking the beach in the morning. After just a week off I could feel the lack of exercise. Walked with my friend Sylvia this morning.

Well, you can probably tell I don’t have anything to say. I miss the in person conversations, then it seems we never stop talking. I really like the talking part.

Have a good trip back to Houston tomorrow.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Geitz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: (no subject)

Date: Wed, Jan 26, 2011 5:05 pm

Good evening,

I was on a business call when another call rang through. It was Hertha . . . and I knew what it was. At around 6:45 EST Rosa’s spirit was launched into eternity. She just grew quieter this afternoon, seemed to relax and just let go. Mother and other family was at her side. I have spoken to Mother twice now, once when she was still at the hospital, then at home. She sounded relieved. I told her that wherever Rosa was tonight she was in a better place.

Flying to Texas in the morning . . . The date for the service will be set tomorrow. I’m holding a ticket for Friday morning to Boston and back Monday. I’m assuming the service will be Saturday.

I’m very sad this evening . . . emotions are in check . . . they bubble up once in a while . . . but I’m ok . . . really, I am. It will hit me when I get to Liberty . . . or when I wake up in the morning . . . In any event, she is not in pain or discomfort any more . . .

I was sitting in the dining room, having dinner alone, and I thought about all the thousands of dinners I have had alone over the years, and in doing that, the countless times I was always a thousand miles away, when something was happening . . . That is one of the real downsides of this life . . . and a price I have had to pay . . . I can’t dwell on it, it is how I support myself . . . It is just a sad moment that I get to sit in this hotel room and think about such things. Traveling does have its glamour, but there is a human cost that is difficult to measure . . .

Please do not feel badly and do not worry about me . . . I am a strong person . . . I will get through this like everything else . . . Just thought you would want to know of Rosa’s passing. Very sad.

Fondly, and with the tenderest of thoughts, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: (no subject)

Date: Wed, Jan 26, 2011 7:20 pm

Goldie—I am so, so sorry. And I really wish I were with you. It must be difficult to be alone tonight. You shouldn’t be. When my parents died I really wished someone was there to comfort me, just to be with me, and there was no one, so I know what it’s like. I hope your mother is doing all right. Losing a child, even an adult one, is not the proper order. I cannot imagine what that must be like. I think losing your child has got to be the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. I’m glad you let me know right away, and it makes me feel good that you reached out to me to tell me. Rosa was a good person with a good heart. I could tell that from the brief time that we spoke last summer. My conversation with her stands out in my memory of that day more than any other. She said how very much in love we were, and that said everything that needed to be said. She knew that and said it aloud. A lot of people wouldn’t have, most wouldn’t. She did, and I could tell she cared. She was special.

Sorrow is difficult to bear alone. But you are not, you know I am always there with you, and I write this with tears in my eyes for you and for Rosa and for your whole family. I wish I could offer my condolences to them, but I can’t, so I feel very constricted. I wish there was something I could do, and I can’t, so I feel helpless. I can only let you know that I know what grief is, how it hurts, how it feels to lose someone you love. Loss such as this makes the heart ache, and the pain is real. You have more than my sympathy, you have my empathy. I really do feel, not just for you, but with you. Our hearts have become one, and so, when yours hurts, mine does too.

All my love goes out to you tonight, and will still be with you when you wake in the morning. If only there were more that I could say, but there’s not. Just believe how much I truly care. Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: (no subject)

Date: Thu, Jan 27, 2011 9:16 am

Dearest Mitzi,

Thanks so much for the wonderful message of love, compassion and wisdom. You are truly a very special person. I did feel very much alone last night, that is till I curled up in bed and focused real intensely on you, and I felt you right there inside of me . . . I actually got three hours of uninterrupted sleep . . . When I got up this morning at four I read your note several times, and it gave me a great measure of comfort. You said all the correct things, and my heart swelled with emotion, not sadness, but a warm feeling that you cared so, and took the time to put it all in words . . . so sensitively.

Rosa was a complicated person, but as you noted she could express herself very well . . . and she told me what she said to you that day driving to the track. I got so excited, but did not let myself show it. After a reasonable period of time, I asked if she had your e-mail address or could get it, and she went ahead and did get it for me. She asked later if we had communicated and I told her yes, that we had a good catch up chat via e-mail. I planned on telling her the real story, but wanted to do so when we could speak in person. Tragically I will never have the chance to do that. She would have been so pleased.

The service is Saturday at 11 in the church she and Jimmy were married in. Then there will be a reception at a place they have not yet selected. Her daughters are putting this together with the blessing of her husband. I understand he is taking this very hard. I have thanked him more than once for being such a good husband to Rosa and taking such good care of her. He adopted her daughters and supported all three of them. I believe she was truly the love of his life.

I’m at the condo, shooting out e-mails and rearranging my schedule for next week. My flight takes off tomorrow early in the morning.

Thanks again for the wonderful words of comfort . . . You are precious to me . . . just a fantasy come true . . . I will never forget your words . . . they sustain me in my hour of despair.

Love, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Good afternoon

Date: Thu, Jan 27, 2011 2:57 pm

Read your note earlier today, but had errands to run and wanted to wait to reply until I could sit down in peace. I’m glad my words brought you comfort. I just said what I thought and felt. You are fortunate to have strong beliefs and convictions regarding an afterlife. That must be a great consolation. I wish I knew where the soul goes when it leaves the body. I like to think it lives on, but I don’t know with any degree of certainty. I would have to call me an optimistic agnostic in that regard. What I do know for sure is that people live on within others whose lives they have touched. So Rosa’s spirit is inside many people today and will continue on forever within you, her children, husband, mother, siblings, relatives, friends. Just that one brief contact I had with her was meaningful, so I can feel her too. I wish I could be at your side at the service. I’ll be sending thoughts your way on Saturday at 6 a.m. my time and throughout the day.

So my life just moves along, outwardly seeming the same as before, only inside I am different since being with you. I’m back in the regular swing of things with my routine and friends. Tonight is Ellen’s birthday dinner so that should be fun. And today I got a call from Nancy, the one who lives in Phoenix but is here a lot, my wheelchair friend. So tomorrow we’re having lunch together with her sister. It sounds like her son didn’t make it in rehab because he was there on the beach with them during her call and she couldn’t talk about it. Alcohol can just be such a poison and ruin lives.

So, my love, here ends another e-mail, but our connection does not end. It goes on always, and I hope forever. I’ll be with you on your flight tomorrow and drive to Liberty. Take care.

Love, Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: third try

Date: Fri, Jan 28, 2011 2:15 pm

Goldie here on blackberry. As I drove into Liberty my chest tightened, and I could barely breathe. I wondered why, and I realized I was thinking of you and our youth flooded back as I traveled streets we had driven together. I wish you were here with meee. I went to Mother’s house, visited, and went to Hertha’s for dinner. Very sad day, one for the reason for the visit, Rosa’s passing, the other, being here with all the memories fresh and raw now that we have renewed our love. Lots of differing emotions . . . Sorry if I’m not making much sense.

Thanks for your nnnote of last evening. I read it on the plane before the takeoff. Sounds like you are back in the daily routine. Someday I hope to walk the beach with you. Have a nice time at the dinner tonight. Sounds like fun.

Lots of snow. Mother is doing well, all things considered. Wish it were Sunday and I was headed home. I feel very out of sorts . . . Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Have a wwwwonderful evening.

Love, Goldie . . . Sorry for the disjointed message.Blackberry giving me fittts.

The most amazing thing, I told Nancy and Sally at Big City Diner, is that he has a primitive type tattoo on his inner forearm. MM. He did it with his pocket knife and ink right after we broke up.

Do you think he convinced his wives and girlfriends he had a thing for Minnie Mouse? asked Nancy.

Must have, agreed Sally.

I was really touched. Had no idea I meant that much to him.

Now you do.

I do. I sure do.

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: third try

Date: Fri, Jan 28, 2011 3:36 pm

I’m glad you’re there with your family, especially your mother. I’m sure she needs you. I was watching the news this morning and saw all the snow, thought of you driving in it and was hoping your flight made it o.k. I read Rosa’s obituary, didn’t realize she had so many grandchildren. I hope the service goes well tomorrow, a fitting tribute to her life. I am with you every hour, every minute, every second. You sound distraught, understandably. Our lives are so disparate right now. I don’t like that at all. Someday I would like to be in Liberty with you. It would be wonderful to sit in the Liberty Diner, have some French fries and a diet Coke, steal a kiss. I wish you could say hi to Hertha from me. I always liked her, and your mother was always very nice to me. So many memories. When you were at Ft. Dix I stayed overnight at your house one night before driving with your family to visit you. I slept with Rosa in her bed and we stayed awake for hours talking and laughing. I really liked her.

The dinner last night was kind of weird. First of all, we all decided we never wanted to go to that restaurant again, way too expensive and not worth it, service wasn’t that great either and it was noisy. But the worst thing that happened was that I bit down on a piece of bread and my tooth crumbled. There is very little tooth left, just a tiny stub. It’s like I have a big gaping hole! I got into the dentist right away. This is the same tooth that fell apart on me in August when I was at Vivian’s, bit down on pizza that time. He filled it then and now here we go again. Your teeth are so beautiful and mine just keep falling apart. The dentist took an X-ray and determined that he can do a crown, so at least I get to keep the tooth. It will be a combination—gold in the back and porcelain in the front.

Just got back from lunch with Nancy and her sister Sally. Nancy has a one way ticket so she’ll be here a while. Of course they had to get the low down on you and me. They heard all good things and could tell I was really happy, just distressed about Rosa and that I was missing you.

So here we are, 6,000 miles apart in distance, but close in every other way. We just need to work on the mileage thing. The rest is right. You did good on the blackberry. I know that’s difficult so every touch of the keypad is appreciated.

I’ll be thinking of you during the service. Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: good morning

Date: Sat, Jan 29, 2011 1:33 am

Thanks for your lovely note. Your words sustain me. Woke up early and went downstairs to read your message and write you. I feel better with a little rest. Five hours till the service . . . then a family and friends gathering. Mother is doing great. I will drive her today and hang pretty close to her. You are correct, lots of snow and it is still coming down lightly.

So sorry about your teeth. Glad, however, that your dentist can save it. You mentioned mine. Well, I went through what you are at the beginning of. Broken teeth, a cap here and there, a bridge . . . One day I just decided to get the whole thing done at once. Wore braces to straighten them up, took six months. Surgery on the upper gums, six weeks later, ground the tops off. Wore a temp while everything healed. New caps installed six weeks later. Waited a while and did the same on the bottom. All in, it took about a year and a couple months, but they feel like my own teeth, and I’ve had them for about seven years now. You might consider it in the future, but best to get it done at one time by a specialist. All dentists are not created equal. It is hell to get old, but we do not have to do so without fighting it. I’m sure your beach walking does you wonders as does your diet.

Just writing to you has picked my spirits up this morning. I hear footsteps upstairs so I will close.

BTW, visiting Liberty with you would be a blast!!! Maybe we could go camping . . .

Love, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Re: good morning

Date: Sat, Jan 29, 2011 6:05 am

Never expected to hear from you before the service. What a nice surprise. You are so good to your mother. I remember she got herself a piece of exercise equipment that she worked out with, kind of ahead of her time. You’d have thought she got enough exercise with her waitressing job. And you took her into our confidence one time when a condom broke, and she was very helpful, non-judgemental and understanding. She was always nice to me and accepting of us. I’m glad she’s doing o.k. It’s good that you’ll be close to her today.

I’ve got my VGAL training today from 8:30 to 4:30. That should be interesting. I’m looking forward to this whole experience. Need to do it.

Getting the teeth done was quite an ordeal for you. You must have wanted that badly to go through everything you did. I don’t know as it would even be an option for me since the bone structure is so bad. I’ve lost a lot of it.

Spent a lot of time awake last night and thought of you. I think of holding your hand a lot. I like that.

Well, the service is under way. I’m envisioning it and will be thinking of you and your family throughout the day.

Love—Mitzi

From: Rheingold Gietz

To: Mitzi Mensch

Subj: Good morning island girl

Date: Sun, Jan 30, 2011 1:55 am

The service was lovely. The church was packed. It was a beautiful clear snow covered day. Her children asked if I would speak for them, and they gave me their handwritten messages about their mother. It was an honor to do that, and I added comments of my own. Everyone was invited to a gathering at the Elks Club. Surprisingly, a lot of people showed up and the room overflowed completely. Her husband was surprised by the outpouring of the community.

Afterward Mother and Sam and Hertha and I went out for a late lunch at an Italian restaurant that went on for hours. We then went to Hertha’s house for more visiting and coffee. Then Sam and I stayed up past midnight watching cable tv.

Thanks for your thoughts yesterday. I read them last evening but was too tired to answer them. It is around six am on Sunday morning and I am downstairs in the still asleep house sipping coffee and thinking about you. Leaving here today at around 2 pm for a 5 flight, getting to Houston at 8:45, and will not arrive home till after 11.

Office day Monday, then drive to Houston that evening as my annual physical is Tuesday. Travel to Chicago on Wednesday for a series of meetings.

How is your weekend going? Things have been such a whirlwind for me. Did you attend your class yesterday? When is the audition for the play? I’m going to go by your house before leaving Liberty. Wanted to do it yesterday but could not get free.

I will make it a point to come back to visit Mother in six weeks or so. She and Rosa were very close and did a lot with each other.

As I write this I have this vision of you sleeping away. Hope you arise well rested and have a wonderful Sunday.

Love, Goldie

From: Mitzi Mensch

To: Rheingold Gietz

Subj: Middle of the night

Date: Sun, Jan 30, 2011 3:42 am

Goldie—I’m so glad that it was a beautiful tribute to Rosa. She deserved it. That so many people showed up tells me that she was well loved, not just by her family, but by the many people that she touched. I can picture you speaking and am sure you said wonderful things and said them well. And I’m so happy for your mother that you were with her when she needed you. Now that Rosa has been put to rest I hope your mother has peace and comfort in good memories. Thank you for showing me the day. I can picture you there with your mother and Hertha and Sam. You, Rosa and your family were in my thoughts all day yesterday. Now it is just so final. As I look at people sometimes—strangers—I think that every person has a whole world going on inside them, each and every one. All you see is the outside, but every human being has other people within them that they think about, care about, worry about, love, and they all have problems, concerns, joys, sorrows, everything contained within their psyche. The outside is just a shell, and we all function, for the most part behaving in socially acceptable ways, but inside we are all living our own lives, comprised of our own unique life experiences, the result of everything that has ever happened to us and is happening at the moment. So, sometimes as I briefly interact with a clerk in a store I wonder who they really are, what makes them that, what is going on in their minds as they hand out change and put my purchases in a bag. They do it so efficiently and politely, but they could be suffering internally, going through a multitude of problems, grieving a death, planning a wedding, rejoicing in a birth, all those things revolving around within them as they perform their activities of survival. Wondering about these things makes me feel respect and admiration for people’s ability to go on in routine ways while they may be exploding with emotions within. We all have to have such fortitude. It makes me feel compassion. Don’t know why I just said all that, maybe it’s the hour. You picture me sleeping, but it’s the middle of the night, and I woke and thought of you and just had to see if you were there, and you were. Goldie, I don’t know what I would do without you, couldn’t imagine it, wouldn’t want to. You mean everything to me. And you’ll be driving by my old house today. I’ll be there with you. The young us will be there inside it, the old us will be looking back. Past, present and yet to be determined future will all be there at the corner of Crater and Elderberry Road, 2266, I remember the address, 232-1323, the phone number. In my unpublished novel, From Then to Now, Maggie returns to her childhood home and goes down to the basement and relives the love and the immature physicality with her high school boyfriend, perhaps the purest feelings being those of youth and discovery. Those feelings still felt pretty pure in San Francisco, but deepened with maturity and hopefully a little wisdom.

The VGAL class was long but very interesting. The morning was all about sexual abuse, the afternoon was about how to do our investigations. This is really pretty heavy duty when you think about the responsibility of making recommendations to a judge. For homework we have to read an actual case and write a court report. Also I will be observing in court on Wednesday morning. And you wouldn’t believe all the handouts! There is a huge binder of information.

After two minutes in class I started thinking about being able to handle a play as well and decided that the play was self indulgent and that the VGAL thing had priority. By the end of the day I thought maybe I could handle both, even knowing a director demands full commitment, energy and devotion. So on the way home I stopped and rented Dangerous Liaisons. After watching it for just a few minutes I decided it was just too stilted and not worth all the effort. I like plays that are more contemporary, germane to real life, not so acted, but natural. I didn’t even finish the movie, just decided not to audition for