Facing the Truth: The Sequel to : Whispers from the Bridge

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This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

© 2014 Trudy Sheehan . All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/04/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1568-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1570-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1569-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014909609

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Cast of Characters

Realization

Decisions

The Funeral

Back to Reality

Thanksgiving

The Will

Farewell to Manhattan

The Letter

Relieved

The Revealing

Thank you for coming

Sorrow in Separation

So much Deceit

Back Together

A Great Visit

The Announcement

Opening up

Surprise!

Wedding

Mr. Perry

Detective McGuire

We All Have Secrets

Acknowledgments

John Sheehan

Mary Grace

Cast of Characters

Madeline Hoyt

Lilly

Mr. John Sherman

Martin Chesterfield III

Jennifer (Jenny) Hoyt Chesterfield

Violet Chesterfield

Mr. Calvin Perry

Victoria Perry

Elliott James Taylor (Grandfather)

Trudie Daily

Page Jensen

Rubin James Roche

Mr. Shield

Detective McGuire

Mr. Stone

Ms. Graystoke

Randall Chase

Mrs. Dunbar Schofield

Claire Van Butin

James Taylor

Catherine Taylor

Det. McGuire

Dr. Hammond.

And (Sammy) the dog.

Realization

Jenny was overwhelmed by it all, tears rolled down her face as she held Violet,

I can’t do this, I can’t, she protested. She pushed Violet back into Martin’s arms and turned around to run, and glanced over her shoulder at her grandfather. He stood there, shoulders slumped, and his eyes filled with tears from all the sadness. She shook her head, turned around and looked straight ahead then started to run as fast as her legs would go, her heart was pounding like it would leave her chest and she almost fell down.

Martin and the grandfather watched in horror. Martin held Violet close while yelling to her,

Jenny. Please don’t go, but she continued running. Elliott put his hand on Martin’s shoulders to stop him from going after Jenny.

She shouldn’t be alone, we should all be together. We are family and need each other, Martin whispered. They stood there watching, as Jenny got further and further away until they could barely make her out.

Martin let’s go home. Everything will be okay. She needs time to think.

Martin looked over at the grandfather. He looked pale and older than his age, more beyond his years. He looked frail and stood there shaking. With all that had happened Martin being engaged in his own loss didn’t notice how this has affected Elliott. Martin put his arm on Elliott’s shoulder,

I’m sorry Elliott, with a half-smile on his face, let’s go home. You need some rest. This has been a terrible day for you.

Taking his arm off Elliott’s shoulder, they turned around and walked up the beach to the parking lot. When they reached the car, Violet held her arms out to Elliott and cried for him to hold her. Martin looked into Violet’s eyes,

No, sweet little girl, grandfather is too tired to carry you today. Daddy will hold you, my beautiful girl, and he kissed her.

Martin put Violet in the back seat, with her favorite blanket. She put her thumb in her mouth and started sucking, as they drove away Violet said,

Mama. They both looked straight ahead not saying a word. Just as they reached the middle of the bridge Elliott exhaled,

Please stop here. It was the spot where Abby had ended her life.

Elliott slowly got out of the car; Martin and Violet watched him as he reached for the railing. In one terrible dark afternoon, he had aged 20 years, his face was pale, and his eyes were swollen from crying. He couldn’t drive by the spot where his precious granddaughter had so sadly ended her life for whatever reason.

Looking out over the bay is the place he loved for so many years, now made him sad. He closed his eyes and spoke,

My dear, dear child, he said in a whisper; he continued, I miss you so. It only has been a few heartrending hours. We walked this bridge for so many years and now it saddens me. Abby you made my life so full; so many secrets were kept from you. I wanted to protect you, Madeline was my daughter, and she wasn’t always so cold. (He could feel his body start to shake, the past was haunting him, while his tongue was wetting his lips he noticed a bad taste in his mouth).

His eyes welling up with tears brought the feelings, which were buried for a long time; now, Abby was gone, and she would never know the truth. It was too late. He should have told her.

I can’t talk now, as he wiped his eyes and said,

I hate to leave, I feel like I’m leaving you here all alone my dear Abby. He took a deep breath as his eyes scanned the bay, and then went back to the car. The only sound heard on the ride back to the house was Violet sucking her thumb.

Jenny ran as fast and as long as she could until she fell to the sand from exhaustion. Putting her head down in the sand, her body trembled and outwardly cries escaped every so often, it broke the silence of an utterly desolate beach. Dusk was approaching. Not a soul except Jenny was on the beach. It had been hours since Abby had died, and it was starting to sink into Jenny’s thoughts.

Her feelings and thoughts raged. (You can let them destroy you, and they don’t even know they are doing it. However, you know deep down inside, word-by-word, and action-by-action. They invade your being and take away a person you are or would become).

Jenny sat up, and wiped her eyes, realizing her thoughts, she said aloud,

I won’t allow these feelings to happen; no one should be given this power. Not even your own mother. She struggled to stand; her legs still weak from the shock of losing Abby, her body still shaking from running so fast and so long.

Looking out over the ocean, while sniffing, she had to wipe the tears running down her face. She spoke aloud to Abby,

I don’t think I can do this, I don’t want to. Her legs collapsed under her and she fell back onto the sand, her body wrenched with sadness. She whispered,

I feel so all alone, I am alone. My whole life I have been so happy, except for losing father, and Mama acting the strange way she did. I was so happy here in my special place.

She sat up and wiped her eyes, saying to herself, "I’ve been such a fool, who am I, a puppet allowed her mother to pull the strings!" She closed her eyes, thinking (Maybe I’m dreaming; and when I open my eyes, none of it will be true. If I pray hard enough, it will all go away).

When she finally opened her eyes, she looked out over the ocean, and she exhaled, when she did, OH, came out of her mouth. She put her hand to her lips as if to quiet them. So much time had passed, the sun was setting quickly and dusk had arrived.

Her memories started to flash back to her mother, they were sitting together, and watching the sunset was their special time together. How strange she would be sitting there.

While the sun was setting the tears rolled down her cheeks, Jenny’s thoughts were taking over again. She could see her mother spreading out the yellow and blue blanket; she could hear her mother’s voice; Jenny dear just keep looking out over the ocean, and you will see something which will change your life. Jenny would wipe her tears at this thought. Her mind still remembering, (my mother was so beautiful), she thought.

Madeline was talking, her words, piercing Jenny’s ears, getting louder and louder. Life has so many treasures, Jenny stood up, and covering her ears with both hands,

I don’t want to hear anymore I hate you, what treasures mother? Giving away a baby is what you call treasure of Life? I will never understand my life has been one big lie. Do you hear me, I hate you.

Jenny felt like she was going to heave her stomach contents; her body lurched forward. She was down on her hands and knees as the heaves came, but nothing came out, her body shook and she had a dry mouth, but her stomach was empty, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Jenny, A voice entered her thoughts,

Jenny, she heard it again. She didn’t need to turn around; the voice was Martins. A hand slowly and gently touched her shoulder; she pulled away,

Oh Jenny, I had come to see if you were all right. I know it’s been a terrible day, and there is so much to say.

Jenny’s posture strengthens as she stands up; as if she was getting ready for battle, almost a stick like posture. Martin spoke again,

I will leave if you want me to, if you want to be alone?

Alone? She was so upset, she turned like a pit bull, and Martin stepped back. Jenny’s eyes were red and swollen. She had a look on her face Martin had never seen before.

Leave me alone, how dare you come and look for me, how dare you be nice to me, I don’t want you to touch me again. I guess I have been alone my whole life, but too dumb to realize it, so naive. Everyone in my life has been a lie.

(Jenny laughs sarcastically) and answered herself,

Yah one big lie. She looked straight at Martin and said,

You are one of those lies, maybe the biggest one, of all. He leaned towards her with a soft caring voice saying,

Jenny I know you’re so hurt and angry, it will take time.

Her eyes were enlarged, and bulging out of their sockets piercing straight through him. She was right in front of him, inches from his face. Pointing her index finger at him,

I am hurt and angry so you had better leave right now, before I beat you with my fists.

Martin kept backing up, Jenny was still right in his face, and he almost fell down backwards, and caught himself,

I think I’d better leave, his voice was soft and struggling for the words,

Jenny, you need more time. I shouldn’t have come; I was so worried about you.

Jenny didn’t give Martin time to finish; she was in his face again, arched her head like a cobra, snapping with each word. Martin put his hands up, Okay, enough, I’m sorry I came. He turned around and walked away.

As she watched Martin walk away, a little bit of the old Jenny came back; the warm sincere heart wanted to yell to him, but the angry part kept control and looked away. (What shall I do, what shall I do), her thoughts had already moved on.

Martin was part of the ugly past she had to forget.

As she turned around and started walking up the beach, she took a deep breath. She looked down to see her footing and she noticed a funny shaped rock. She then looked closer; it was in the shape of a heart, she picked it up. Now she started picking up rocks, one after the other not even caring about the shape. This time it was different, the shapes were unimportant, she walked to the edge of the water and found it washed over her feet. She took the first rock in her left hand and held it up high; she threw it as hard and as far as she could. Her voice was now in a whisper, that’s for you, Martin. The next rock was not thrown as hard or as far, she whispered again that’s for you, father. She held the last one in her hand and squeezed it hard as if to crush it. She dropped it as a wave washed over her foot and pushed it down deep into the sand; the harder she pushed it the more she smiled.

"This is for you mama, and I’m burying you just as you did with the truth. You are mean and you are where you belong."

Jenny was surprised at her feelings. She felt a little relief. What her mother had done was wrong, and it changed Jenny. She knew things would never be the same. How could they be? The rocks had brought her happiness in the past now brought her relief as she threw them. Standing there alone, looking out over the ocean, with her thoughts of Abby seems like a bad dream. She thought, (how can things change so drastically, in one day, in one short morning. Waking up in the morning with the sun shining in your room and you’re in love; your dreams of the simply wonderful day).

Tears rolled down her face it had been the worse day of her life. She shook her head and took a deep breath. All of a sudden, she noticed it was getting dark. Oh no, she said aloud, I completely forgot about Sammy, I must get home. She rushed up the beach thinking, (I can’t believe all this time has gone by. I have to get back to the cottage; Sammy will wonder why I haven’t returned). She started to run towards the bridge. If there was one Savior in Jenny’s life, it was her dog, her wonderful Sammy.

Jenny crossed the bridge without stopping. She ran up Powder Point through the iron gates of the walkway and leaped up onto the porch. Missing her footing, she almost fell down.

The door was unlocked. She had never locked it that morning and Jenny had no sooner opened the door than she yelled for Sammy. Sammy, Sammy, where are you? Slowly out of the kitchen Sammy appeared, she gave Jenny a look like (where n the hell have you been? She turned her head and looked at her water bowl as if to say, I am now out of water too. Jenny bent down and gave her a big hug,

Here let me get you some nice cold water. Sammy’s tale immediately started wagging. Jenny sat on the floor and Sammy laid her head on Jenny’s lap as she rubbed Sammy’s ears and Sammy lay there enjoying every minute of it, Oh my dear Sammy. You are truly my very best friend. You have always loved me, no matter what has happened. I’m so sorry for leaving you so long, but this has been so overwhelming and sad.

Sammy looked up at her she could feel the sadness in Jenny. She licked her hand. Suddenly the phone started ringing. Jenny looked down at Sammy,

I’m not going to answer it, and I won’t answer it. However, it kept ringing.

Oh okay, she said, her voice sounding agitated.

She stood up and walked to the phone in the hallway. Hesitantly she picked up the receiver put it to her ear.

Hello, hello, a voice on the other end kept saying

Missy is it you? The voice on the other end was Lilly.

Hello, is there anyone there? Jenny bit her lip, she didn’t want to talk, and she wanted to be alone.

Yes, it’s me, her voice low.

Yes Lilly, it’s me. Lilly knew by the sound of Jenny’s voice something was wrong, terribly wrong.

Jenny, where have you been? I’ve been calling you all day and half the night! You just about scared the beans out of me. Lilly kept talking. Jenny had never let so much time go by without calling Lilly. Lilly was half out of her mind worrying.

Lilly, please listen. Something terrible has happened.

Oh, my Lordy, Lilly thought as she took a big gulp and pushed down a swallow, her eyes were big with fear.

Jenny’s voice sounded exhausted and her breathing was heavy sounding.

Lilly, please listen. Something terrible happened today. Lilly noticed John had walked into the kitchen and she waved for him to sit down as she put a finger to her mouth to shush him. John took his hat off, hung it up, and sat down at the table, not taking his eyes off Lilly.

Jenny, are you all right? Lilly’s anxiety heightened.

Lilly, please listen. Abby died today. She’s gone Lilly! Lilly’s mouth fell open.

Oh Lordy, this can’t be? She’s too young to die. Lilly’s heart was pounding and she looked over at John, her eyes welling up with tears.

He got up from the chair, walked over to her, put an arm around her, and held her close. Silence controlled the conversation suddenly. Jenny blurted out,

I just can’t talk about it now. I don’t have the strength and I don’t want to. I’m going to hang up. I will call you tomorrow.

Jenny’s voice was choking. She knew if she kept talking it would only get worse. She was tired of talking, tired of crying, and tired of conversation.

Please don’t hang up, Lilly pleaded,

You must tell me what happened. John and I can get ready and leave for Duxbury.

No Lilly, don’t come yet. I need time, she hesitates for a minute, There are things I need to take care of. So please, please wait until I call you. I promise I will tell you everything, her voice raspy and low. Lilly listened and felt overwhelmed, but agreed to wait. There was nothing left to say. Just as she was about to hang up the phone, Lilly whispered,

I love you my little Missy, but Jenny didn’t hear her. She had already hung up the phone.

Lilly put the phone down slowly and turned to John. Tears started to flow as John held her close.

Oh my dear, you are not going to believe this. She looked up at John,

Oh dear Lord, it can’t be true. John’s eyes, full of compassion, as he held Lilly,

My dear, what is wrong? Lilly sobbed as he held her close.

The evening was long. John stayed right by her side. They both lay in bed at night with their eyes open, worrying about each other.

Decisions

Jenny looked over at Sammy, Let’s go upstairs and get some rest. I know I’m exhausted. I truly want this horrible day to end.

Jenny carried Sammy up the stairs as she had done many times before. She walked over to Sammy’s bed and laid her down slowly, walked to the closet and got a set of pajamas and put them on the bed. I’ll just lay here a minute before I change, she thought, but fell fast asleep on her pajamas. Sammy stood up watching Jenny. A dog knows when their owner is upset, they have a sense, the tail hanging between her legs straight down, ears hanging. Finally, she went to her bed, knowing Jenny was safe and fast asleep.

The next morning Jenny woke up early and found she never got under the covers as exhaustion had taken over. She yawned, I can’t believe I slept so well with all that has happened. She shook her head as she walked over to her dresser, picked up her music box, and opened it. She held it to her ear a half smile came over her face. Speaking aloud,

Oh how I love this music box!

She walked over to her bed and lay across it. Memories of Abby floated in and out all the wonderful moments they shared together.

Jenny looked up and over at the mirror on her dresser. She remembered Abby and the time she kissed the mirror. She laughed out loud, startling herself.

Oh Abby, it was such a wonderful day. We laughed so hard.

Imagining Abby’s image in the mirror she spoke aloud,

Who would have known you would end up with Martin and we would have such a short time together.

A sad look came over Jenny’s face as she spoke again aloud,

Why did you do it? Why?

She closed the music box, got up, and put the music box on the dresser. She yawned as she started to get undressed; she felt something in her pocket. Reaching in she pulled out the chain Abby had worn with the half of the heart necklace she had given her years before. She held it close, turned, looked in the mirror and touched the necklace she had on with the other piece of the heart. She studied her reflection in the mirror, hoping for an answer.

She spoke out loud, Abby, did father know about you, is that why he gave me this necklace? With each word, her voice got louder. He couldn’t have known. He would never have done such a mean thing. I just don’t understand. Father would have loved you. He would never have let you go.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she slowly reached up and wiped them. Sammy’s eyes were watching Jenny’s every move, listening to her as if she understood. Jenny’s voice rose to a high pitch.

I just don’t understand!

Sammy buried her face in her paws.

Abby, why did you do it, you were my best friend. We were so much alike. Now I know why. You were my sister, my twin sister, if I had only known. We should have been sharing our lives just as we did when we were children. If only I had called you earlier, you wouldn’t have taken your life. We shared so much! Why couldn’t you have shared, why were you so unhappy? Abby, how could you leave your baby, an innocent little child?

Anger entered Jenny’s voice, her voice louder,

Abby, your just like Mama; Selfish! You thought only about yourself. What about me, your grandfather, our grandfather?

As Jenny’s body trembled, she reached for the bed and sat on the edge, her voice lowering with each word.

He looks lost and frail. Why did you do it? You thought of no one but yourself. I hate you, and I don’t want to think about you anymore. Mama didn’t want you. She didn’t raise you, Jenny half laughed, Maybe this is the reason why she gave you away. She knew you were just like her.

She rubbed her eyes, yawning; she stood up, took off her clothes, kicked them to the side, and walked over to her closet. She turned around, looked over at the mirror, walked over to it, reached in the top drawer of the dresser, took out a cotton tee shirt, and covered the mirror. Now she walked over to the bed, picked up her pajamas, put them on. She fell on to the bed; exhaustion filled her whole body. Her body ached with sadness. She collapsed into a world she had never known.

Restlessness swept through her as she tossed and turned, dreaming images of Abby and Martin, nightmares of being alone, whimpering in her sleep. Covers being tossed to the floor, sheets becoming loose were lying on a bare mattress. Waking in a cold sweat to a strange sound, she sat up startled.

Wiping her eyes, she looked around the room, feeling dazed and half-asleep. She then realized it was the phone. She looked at the clock it was eight am.

Who can it be? Can’t they leave me alone?

She stared at the phone waiting for it to stop ringing; it kept ringing sounding louder and louder. She rolled out of bed and grabbed it as if to strangle it. Slowly she raised it to her ear, with a look of bewilderment on her face,

Hello, Hello, a voice at the other end,

Jenny is it you?

Listening to the voice, she realized it was her grandfather’s voice. He sounded frail, and short of breath. Why was he calling her? He never ever in all the years called. Hesitantly she spoke,

Yes, it’s me.

I’m sorry to call you so early but I would like you to come over to my house if you could. Jenny’s thoughts raced, why, why call me? Why does he want me to go to his house?

Jenny, are you there? Did you hear me dear? he said, breaking the silence,

Yes. I heard you, I will tell you why, so please listen, his voice sounding shaky, lowering with each word,

I need to make arrangements for Abby. Dear Jenny, could you help me? His voice sounded sad and pleading.

Jenny’s thoughts were spinning, who is______, he interrupted her thoughts,

Dear, you can think about it. The man from the funeral parlor will be here at 11:00 am. Whatever you decide will be fine. However, I hope you come. I need to see you. He hesitated, We are family. We need to do this together, Bye Jennifer.

Jenny held the phone to her ear and heard the click; the phone was frozen in her hand. She stood there, and then slowly put the phone on the receiver. He was her grandfather. Someone she didn’t know. How could she? He was one of the secrets.

Jenny went into the bathroom; after she dropped her pajamas on the floor, she got into the shower, took her bar of soap, and began to scrub. She was scrubbing so hard her skin was turning red and raw, but she kept scrubbing. The steam was clouding the glass doors and the interior of the bathroom. She was alone and scrubbing her body was becoming a frenzy. Maybe she could scrub away all the lies, the secrets by cleaning herself but the more she scrubbed, the more agitated she became.

Her arms ached and her hand cramped with holding so tightly to the washcloth. Jenny leaned against the tiles; her arms fell to her sides. Still clinging to the washcloth, her body felt limp, she slid down the wall to the floor of the shower. The water rushed over her as she sat dazed and confused.

Life was cruel to her and the people she loved. They let her down. A voice in Jenny’s head spoke (maybe it was her strong spirit) but she heard it as plain as day,

Get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can do this. You’re strong.

She turned off the water and got out of the shower. She heard drops of rain hitting the window and looked over, it was just starting, the drops were big, and when they hit the windows, they splattered. Jenny could hear thunder in the distance, and Sammy started whining. Jenny looked over at Sammy and shook her head,

I can’t believe you can hear the thunder, you can still hear old dog, as she rubbed Sammy’s head.

Lifting off the tee shirt, Jenny sat at her dresser staring at the reflection. She reached up and held the heart necklace in her hand. On the dresser was the chain holding half of the heart. Today would be a heart-wrenching day, and of course, it would be raining. It should rain! I hope it pours, she thought. How many times have I looked in the mirror? How many secrets has this mirror kept? How many feelings has it witnessed?

Jenny frowned at her reflection. Too bad it’s not Abby looking back at me. She turned her head sideways. Hmm, she thought, we did look alike. I never saw it until now. How can things be right in front of your face and we don’t see it.

Well Sammy, are you hungry? Let’s go down stairs and see what we have. We will need strength to get through this day.

Jenny had decided she needed to help arrange Abby’s service. She loved her, and she had to do this. I need to close down my feelings and put them away. I will imagine a closet with a door and one shelf where I will put all my anger, my questions and thoughts of Mama. I will close the door and lock it until I’m ready to open it.

Jenny carried Sammy down the stairs and put her down on the floor and they went into the kitchen. The dishes she had used the day before were still on the table. A half a cup of coffee sat there with a film on the top from the cream turning sour.

Jenny looked in the cup, Yuk! This is disgusting, and she dumped it in the sink. Jenny made fresh coffee and put bread in the toaster. Just as the toast popped up, the phone rang.

Jenny woke up in the morning feeling different, for some reason she had an inner strength. This was a new Jenny. In one day, her world changed and there was no going back, having her voice in control she said,

Hello, the voice at the other end sounded frail and weak, the breathing was labored, the voice was inquiring how she was, how she felt, and was she coming over? Jenny, voice stern, but accepting,

Oh, I’m okay. How are you? The voice still raspy answered,

I thought you could come about 10:00 am if it’s okay? Martin thought it would give us some time to plan before the representative from the funeral parlor comes.

Jenny listened. When she heard her grandfather mention Martins name, her stomach gave a flip and a wave of nausea came. She put her hand on her stomach and rubbed it.

Jenny is that okay with you my dear? The grandfather’s voice was soft and caring. Jenny hesitated,

Yes. Ah, yes I will come. Is there anything you need?

His voice was above a whisper,

I thank you my dear, and I thank you. Goodbye. As he hung up the phone, a tear rolled down his face.

Martin was sitting at the table with Violet on his lap. She had been crying for her mother, and he had been up most of the night holding her. Martins face had aged. He looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes. His face looked red and puffy. Martin took a sip of his coffee and spoke,

I’m so relieved she’s coming. I was worried sick she wouldn’t. The grandfather walked over to Violet, held out his hands to her. She reached out and her little fingers wrapped around his finger.

I’ll take her Martin, as he lifted Violet into his arms, he hugged her and kissed the side of her face.

Are you grandpa’s girl? Violet gave a big smile. Martin took another sip of his coffee and looked at the grandfather and Violet saying,

If I could change it and go back, I surely would. But there’s one thing I wouldn’t change, my beautiful daughter.

The grandfather looked at Violet saying,

"Sadness is the worst feeling in the world, and