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    Frighten the Horses and Other Plays
    Frighten the Horses and Other Plays
    Frighten the Horses and Other Plays
    Ebook129 pages1 hour

    Frighten the Horses and Other Plays

    By Adam Watson

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    About this ebook

    From the author of Lollygagged and Flannel Flogged comes a collection of three plays set in Louisville, Kentucky. In The Birdbath, a father and son attempt an impossible reconciliation in a funeral's aftermath. In Frighten the Horses, a romantic liar complicates his life even further when stereotypes, myths and illusions collide against uncertain truths. And a couple attempts to overcome a new danger of millennial dating when it is revealed Your Browser Refreshes Every Thirty Seconds.

    Grab your seat and hold on. The curtain is going up
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateOct 9, 2001
    ISBN9781469768250
    Frighten the Horses and Other Plays
    Author

    Adam Watson

    Born in Kokomo, Indiana on February 7, 1974, Adam Watson lived in Las Vegas and Crete, Greece before moving with his mother to Louisville, Kentucky in 1981. Lollygagged and Flannel Flogged, a collection of poetry, was published in 2001. He currently attends the University of Louisville and plans on becoming a teacher. For more information, visit www.adamwatson.org.

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      Book preview

      Frighten the Horses and Other Plays - Adam Watson

      All Rights Reserved © 2001 by Adam D. Watson

      No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.

      Writers Club Press an imprint of iUniverse.com, Inc.

      For information address: iUniverse.com, Inc. 5220 S 16th, Ste. 200 Lincoln, NE 68512 www.iuniverse.com

      This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, or persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.

      Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that The Birdbath, Frighten the Horses, and Your Browser Will Refresh in Thirty Seconds are subject to royalty. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion-picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, and radio, television and internet broadcasting (as well as translation into foreign languages for all of the above) are strictly reserved. Permission must be secured from the author. Contact may be made through the address above or through the author’s website: www.adamwatson.org.

      Cover Painting: Fried Liver Attack Denied, by Brian Alan Thomas, copyright 2001. Printed with permission.

      ISBN: 0-595-20274-8

      ISBN: 978-1-4697-6825-0 (ebook)

      Printed in the United States of America

      Contents

      The Birdbath

      Frighten the Horses

      Dedicated to

      CAST OF CHARACTERS

      TIME:

      SCENE I

      SCENE II

      SCENE III

      SCENE IV

      SCENE V

      SCENE I

      SCENE II

      SCENE III

      SCENE IV

      SCENE V

      SCENE VI

      Afterword by the Author

      About the Author

      To the playwrights, poets, and people of

      (luhl-vul) (loo-eee-vill) Louisville and also, the world:

      Let us have love, peace, and justice for all of the citizens of Earth. We must overcome hate, and those that promote hate. We will never forget 9-11-01.

      The Birdbath

      To APRIL, for opening the gates

      And WANDA WATSON & RON CLARK for mothering, for fathering.

      SETTING: The backyard of a home in early evening. Lighting should be soft as if the sun is setting but not quite down. The stage is bare except for two things—a birdbath, roughly center stage, and a lawn/patio type of chair about five feet stage right from the birdbath. This birdbath should be plain and old, not ornamental or fancy. It does not need to even be able to hold water, structurally speaking, since for the purpose of the play, it can be empty.

      CHARACTERS:

      ALAN, 26 year old male, thin, lanky. Subtle, soft looks, obviously youthful.

      LARRY, Alan’s father, 51 but looks 60. Hair is gray and unstylish, and a paunch from beer or inactivity (or both) is pronounced. His looks are not quite slovenly as they are weathered.

      The Birdbath was presented at the Bunbury Theatre in October 1995, as part of its Tenth Anniversary 10-Minute Play Festival.

      Produced by: Juergen Tossmann

      Directed by: Peter Howard

      ALAN was played by: Robert Drummond

      LARRY was played by: Jim Valone

      CURTAINS OPEN. We see ALAN sitting in the chair, his back to stage right. His attention is directed toward the birdbath, which he seems to look more through than at. He is dressed in a brand new looking suit. ALAN’s tie is loose and his jacket is unbuttoned, but he is still wearing both. His shirt collar is also unbuttoned.

      LARRY (offstage, yelling): Alan? (Pause.) Alan, is that you out there?

      ALAN (slightly over shoulder): Yeah, Dad.

      LARRY comes onstage from stage right. He is also dressed in a suit, although it appears to be as worn and weary as LARRY. Everything, including the jacket, is on, buttoned up, and tucked in tight. LARRY’s dialogue is spoken as he walks to a point halfway between ALAN and the birdbath, where he stops.

      LARRY (while walking): Jesus, your Aunt Kathy is holding fort in there better ‘n a drill sergeant. I’ve never seen so many people in your mother’s house before. Looks the same as it did–(stops walking)–as it did before your grandma died.

      LARRY looks at ALAN, who is oblivious to him. LARRY looks away and starts chatting into space again.

      LARRY: You know that cousin of your Mom’s, the one…you know…he juggles shit at parties and lives with that (chuckles) magician…a professional fuckin clown! I’d like to meet his high school guidance counselor. Choosing a career of making poodle balloons and wearing a blue wig. I mean, how do ya become a clown? Do you score a ninety-eight on a Pie Throwing Aptitude Test and get a four year scholarship to Barnum n fuckin Bailey University? And the real rub—the real titty-twister is he probably makes more than me. A clown, for Chrissake!

      LARRY chuckles in self amusement at his attempt at humorous indignation. He looks, sees ALAN is still oblivious and staring at the birdbath, and gets more serious.

      LARRY: Anyway…oh, shit, I forgot his name…

      ALAN (barely a question): Zack?

      LARRY (pleased for a response): Zack! Jesus H, that’s it. Well, Zack comes up to me and says (affects a lisp) Larry, your wife was a wonderful woman. She could outshine the sun. (Goes back to his normal voice.) I just thanked him. Didn’t feel like reminding him me n Clara had been divorced twenty years. (Shakes his head with a laugh.) A clown. Well, he probably’ll entertain the shit out of the kids. After the funeral, I’m sure they…

      LARRY’s voice trails off. ALAN’s gaze is unwavering. LARRY follows his eyes to the birdbath, and takes a few steps closer to it.

      LARRY: My god, she used to love you watch this birdbath.

      ALAN (finally noticing him, looks up): What?

      LARRY (glad to get his attention): Oh yeah! Your mom used to tell me…when you were—little…you would sit out here for hours and stare at the birds. Watch em eat n bathe. But she said sometimes, you would get upset just up outta the blue n run inside cryin to your room.

      ALAN: Because the birds would always leave. Eventually.

      A heavy silence. LARRY looks at ALAN, then away; ALAN looks slightly downward. LARRY begins fidgeting, shuffling his feet, unbuttons his jacket, and turns back and begins talking in ALAN’s general direction.

      LARRY: Your mother…Alan…Clara was a good woman. I never thought—Jesus H! I mean…cancer? At forty eight? It makes you think. Realize, I mean. (Visibly struggling.) Look, Alan. I know we haven’t been close these past years. But I want you to know…I’m here for you. I always have been. And…if…if you ever want to–

      ALAN (stands suddenly and turns to LARRY, snarling): To what, Dad? To talk? Talk about what? Today is the first time I’ve seen you in seven years.

      LARRY (takes a step back): I…just…mean…

      ALAN (ignoring him): If you mean talk about cars or sports like real men, like strangers, yeah we’ll talk. (Pause.) Do you want to talk about my job? Which one, Dad? I’ve had three since we last talked. Can’t talk about college, remember? I dropped out. Wanna talk about my friends? Ask me about one.

      (LARRY fumbles for words.) You can’t, can you, because you don’t know any of their names. (Shakes his head.) I can’t believe…after all this time, you still don’t get it.

      ALAN turns away and walks a few feet toward the front of the stage. His back is to LARRY, who looks on in a shock.

      ALAN (resignedly): All right, Dad, you want to talk? Fine. Let’s talk. (Takes a long breath.) I remember the first thing Mom told me when you all got divorced. I was six years old. She said, Alan, at least you won’t be going to a new Army base every two years. And I cried. But you kept in touch, and made promises to see me as soon as you could. And I cried. Then you didn’t show up at my seventh birthday party. (Looks over shoulder.) Then I stopped crying. (Pauses, turns back toward front of the stage.) I remember how hard Mom worked. She was…always…working. Every day that she had to leave me at daycare, a little piece of her died. Not being a mother was worse than cancer could ever do to her. Even when grandma died and Mom got this house—there were always…bills. Then, I remember the check game. (Turns around, his rage peaking:) DO YOU REMEMBER THE CHECK GAME?!

      LARRY stares at the ground, speechless. He slowly shakes his head

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