Vietnam: A Battalion Surgeon Returns

Vietnam: A Battalion

Surgeon Returns

Byron E. Holley, MD.

Writers Club Press

San Jose New York Lincoln Shanghai

Vietnam:

A Battalion Surgeon Returns

All Rights Reserved © 2001 by Byron E. Holley, M.D.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.

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ISBN: 0-595-20555-0

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Contents

Dedication

Epigraph

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgements

Spinoffsfrom my first book

Planning The Trip

The Trip

Conclusions

About the Author

Glossary

Bibliography

List of Illustrations

Fig. 1 Map of Indochina

Fig. 2 Map of Mekong Delta

Figure 3: Doc, Ed and Courtney at Mekong River ferry landing in My Tho

Figure 4: Glenn H. Rollins

Fig. 5: Tom Aiken, Doc & Toby Hager at Gulf Shores, Alabama ‘93

Fig.6 Frog, Ed, and Doc in Saigon

Fig.7 Barges on the Saigon River

Fig. 8 Thay’s canal near Saigon

Fig. 9 War relics at Tay Ninh

Fig. 10 Rubber plantation near Tay Ninh

Fig. 11 Nui Ba Den (Black Lady Mountain)h

Fig.12 Cao Dai Temple near Tay Ninh

Fig. 13 Old French bridge at Tan An

Fig. 14 Fishing Boats at My Tho

Fig. 15 Former enemies home on VC Island

Fig. 16 Ferry at My Tho

Fig. 17 Ben Tre today…a very peaceful scene

Fig.18 Doc, Gen. Vi and Nguyen Van Thay

Fig. 19 Viet Cong mortars at Ben Tre Museum

Fig. 20 General Vi as a young Viet Cong soldier

Fig. 21 Soldier’s Bridge at Dong Tam/ Binh Duc

Fig.22 Binh Duc Village with Mekong in the distance

Fig. 23 Catholic church at Binh Duc

Fig.24 Ambush Alley today

Fig. 25 Dong Tam Base today

Fig.26 Dong Tam Riverine Basin today

Fig. 27 Road to Long Truong

Fig. 28 Riverbank at Long Truong

Fig. 29 Cai Nua

Fig.30 FSB Danger April 1969:note bridge at upper right

Fig.31 Old bridge near FSB Danger 1994

Fig. 32 A Smiling Face

Fig. 33 The Duck Herder

Fig. 34 Our Free Taxi ride

Fig. 35 Frog enroute to the battlefield

Fig. 36 Ed Clark at site of 23Mar69 battlefield

Fig. 37 Enroute to 25Mar69 Battlefield

Fig. 38 Old former VC woman verifying site of battle

Fig. 39 L-shaped ambush where Torpie and his men died

Fig. 40 Friendly fruit vendor at Ferry Crossing

Fig. 41 Rice Barges at Long Dinh

Fig. 42 Col.Bay Cao at My Tho

Fig. 43 Cyclo-pousse driver in Saigon

Fig. 44 Stream at Long Binh

Fig. 45 Fishing Boats at Vung Tau at low tide

Fig. 46 Former enemies meet on the beach

Fig. 47 Swimming in the South China Sea

Fig. 48 Veteran’s Cemetery at Saigon

Fig. 49 Dinner with Thay’s family

Fig. 50 The faces of today’s Vietnam: Peaceful and Happy People everywhere you look. The war really is over.

Fig. 1 Map of Indochina 

Fig. 2 Map of Mekong Delta 

Dedication

Much has been written about those who lost their lives during America’s ten-year long struggle in Southeast Asia, but little has been said about the survivors. Well over 3 million American men and women left the security of their homes and families to serve their country in Vietnam between 1963 and 1975. Almost 60,000 returned in body bags and coffins. Of those who survived the war to return home physically, very few were able to come back home emotionally. This book is written to and for those people, who like myself, tried to hide their Vietnam experience in a closet. I have come full circle emotionally and this book is dedicated to them in the hope that by reading it they will see that they too can finally Come Home! In my case it took writing a book and actually returning to see for myself that the Vietnam of the war years is gone. Hopefully by sharing these experiences, others will be able to do the same. This book contains great news my fellow veterans, THE WAR REALLY IS OVER! COME BACK HOME!

Epigraph

And I will give peace in the land, and ye shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid: and I will rid evil beasts out of the land, neither shall the sword go through your land.

Leviticus 26:6

Figure 3: Doc, Ed and Courtney at Mekong River ferry landing in My Tho 

Foreword

Doc Holley was my Battalion Surgeon in that insane military exercise called Vietnam. He was a draftee who wore a Captain’s rank and didn’t give a tinkers damn for all the power and protocol of the military system. While seeming to be a rebel like Hawkeye Pierce of MASH fame, he was still my trusted and wise advisor on all matters dealing with the health and well-being of the Hardcore Battalion. He had a deep sense of caring which soon became obvious to those around him in spite of his rebel image. His first love was the health of his men and soon after I took over command of the 4/39th Infantry Battalion he told me I didn’t know much about doctoring and that if I wouldn’t interfere with his band of medics he would keep my troops in fighting shape and he did. His was no easy task in the harsh environment of the Mekong Delta where leeches, snakes, and malaria-infested mosquitoes competed with man-made booby traps in a combined effort to wear his men down. While he was not a conscientious objector and occasionally would join in the fray of battle, he detested the insanity of war and what it did to the bodies, minds, and souls of young men and women on both sides of the conflict. Even though he came to hate the Viet Cong for all the death and misery they caused for his comrades, his oath as a physician took over when he was called upon to try and save the lives of dying Viet Cong soldiers and on many occasions he succeeded. He also personally took on the mission of being certain no POW’s were tortured or treated in-humanely on his watch. When I firstmet him he was coming off a gruelling two month period of record-setting casualties as the battalion had lost hundreds of men to booby trap injuries around Dong Tam base. He had earned the respect of the entire Hardcore Battlalion because they knew if they got knocked down by enemy fire that he or one of his brave medics would pick ‘em up and patch ‘em up. He provided the best possible medical care available and when humanly possible he provided that care first hand. Because of his leadership, his platoon medics developed the same attitude which earned them the love and respect of their comrades in arms. He was the glue that held the Medical Company together and his men knew he would stand up for them no matter what. He lead by example and took great pride in being called a grunt by his fellow soldiers, a title he earned by countless trips out to the battlefield in a relentless effort to support his medics as they provided the troops the care they needed around the clock 7 days a week .He wasn’t too good to get his hands dirty and on many hot steamy days you might find him out filling sandbags or building a bunker alongside his medics. The Doc was a healer in every sense of the word and has contiued to heal the deep and often unseen wounds left over from that war by writing his memoirs in VIETNAM 1968-1969: A BATALLION SURGEON’S JOURNAL, and now by sharing the deep and personal emotional experience involved in making the decision to return to that land he had come to loathe. To him, Vietnam was a war, not a place on a map. He felt he had to return to witness the land first-hand and he goes into great detail about all the steps involved for anyone considering a trip to Vietnam. In many ways this is a How To book for anyone thinking about going back. Early in the book he shares many heart-rending stories and letters from a wide variety of loved ones and veterans who received some measure of healing and understanding of the war by reading his journal based on letters home. This book is a must-read for anyone who went to Nam, and for their friends and family members who,like Doc Holley,feel the need for healing and for closure. As he states in the dedication of this book, the war really is over and it is high time for those who suffered through the war and it’s aftermath to finally come home!

David Hackworth

Greenwich, Conn.

Preface

December 19,1993 My return trip to Vietnam began today. Not actually, but today I made the decision to return to the site of that horrible war of so many years ago. And now it is just a matter of time before I again walk the streets of Saigon and travel the waterways of the Mekong River delta. Only this time everything will be different. Vietnam is now an independent and unified nation at peace with itself. No longer divided into two halves, their long war is finally over. I never knew a peaceful Vietnam where birds sing and the voices of children’s laughter fills the air. I only remember the sounds of war. Constant sounds, night and day. Helicopters flying overhead. Jet fighters screaming skyward with their deadly cargo of bombs. Artillery cannons firing missions at an unseen enemy. Automatic weapons chattering away in a firefight. Sounds of war drown out sounds of peace. I really look forward to hearing the sounds of peace in the Vietnam of today, in a land where war no longer rages as it did for centuries.

For most of this century, the Vietnamese people have been divided against themselves, with suspicion and distrust the order of the day. Now they are unified and are strong enough to keep their nation free of unwanted foreign intervention. Now, ironically, they seem anxious to make friends with My, the Americans who just twenty five short years ago tried to bomb them into oblivion. Their readiness to forgive seems hard to fathom at first glance. But, after studying the history of their nation I understand it quite well Forover a thousand years they were ruled by the Chinese who they finally defeated. Even Kublai Khan and his Mongolian raiders were repelled by these strong-willed people in 1257 and again in 1284 after which they gave up all hopes of occupying this enchanted land. For over half a century the French colonized and ruled the land, only to be expelled following their defeat at Dien Bien Phu in 1954. The Japanese took their turn during WWII, only to be expelled by these fiercely independent people. We Americans are all too familiar with our inability to bring peace to their land our way at such an awful cost in human suffering and loss of life on both sides. So in light of their past history, their ten year struggle against America was a very brief chapter in their long fight for independence.

From what I read and have heard from those who have visited Vietnam recently, most Vietnamese believe we thought we were there for the right reasons, and that we individual soldiers did not see the big picture and were only doing what our government told us to do. Many have been quoted as saying they never did hate the American soldiers, just the US Government for sending us there. After all, we were there to fight Communism, meanwhile the average peasant farmer tending to his rice paddy couldn’t even define the word Communism. Most of them just wanted to be left alone to farm the land of their ancestors. They only know the routine of a simple rural life and truly love the land from which their subsistance comes. Most were Buddhists but many were Catholics, however religious differences alone did not seem to be the over-riding factor fueling these wars. This long series of wars can only be explained by the desire of others to own and control their land and by the Vietnamese people’s fierce desire for independence. The fact that Ho Chi

Minh chose to befriend his two Communist nations to his north is ironic because he initially appealed to the United States following WWII when on September 2,1945 he declared the independence of Vietnam by reading his own revised copy of our American Declaration of Independence before 500,000 cheering countrymen in Hanoi, only to be ignored at the Geneva Convention which divided his nation in half at the 17th parallel and set the stage for America’s entry into what has proven to be our biggest foreign policy disaster ever. Had we honored his request at that time, the American War, as the Vietnamese people refer to it, would never have happened.

Now again they have chosen to come to the American government as friends rather than foes, as economic partners in helping to pull their newly unified nation up by their bootstraps and out of their seemingly endless quagmire of poverty and despair. Vietnam truly is one of the most beautiful and unique countries in the world and it’s economic potential is staggering! It is time for us to lick our wounds and forgive them for the pain our war with them inflicted on our nation. We delivered worse to them in spades and they are ready to forgive and move forward toward a productive and peaceful relationship. They too have seen enough of death and destruction. I truly believe that most of them have forgiven us and stand at the threshold ready to extend the hand of friendship. This belief is what made me decide to return to Vietnam.

Larry Tahler, known as Nighthunter 6 in the war zone, can hardly believe his ears. Larry, you win. I’ll go back to Nam with you. Let’s do it! Larry had been after me for over a year to return to that distant land and my response had always been, Why would anyone in their right mind want to return to that hell hole? It was hot and smelly when I left there in ‘69 and I don’t have to go back over there to know it’s still hot and smelly! In my book about my experiences as a Battalion Surgeon in Vietnam I had stated on more than one occasion, If I ever get out of this hellhole alive I will never, ever return! Well, we were all told as children, never say never because you may have to eat your words someday. Well, serve me up a double-helping of words and cover them with nuoc mam sauce (rotten fish oil which stinks to high heavens) for flavor because ready or not Vietnam, here we come!

Acknowledgements

I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the influence Col. David H. Hackworth had on the writing of this book. He was the main reason I wrote VIETNAM 1968-1969: A BATTALION SURGEON’S JOURNAL and the peace I discovered from the response from that book led me to the decision to return to Nam and hence to have the experiences chronicled in this book. Col. Hackworth was my Battalion Commander in that mad war in Southeast Asia and continues to be my friend and mentor in all things related to Vietnam. As for the return trip I couldn’t have picked two more perfect companions. Ed Clark and I had served together in the 4/39 although we were not close back then. Courtney Frog Frobenius had served in the 9th Division but with a different battalion in an area south of our stomping grounds. Both men had killed numerous enemy soldiers back in the late 60’s but neither of them show any outward scars from their combat experiences. In fact I was truly amazed at the sensitivity they showed toward my emotions and my need to visit Torpie’s battlefield. It became their mission as much as mine. They both commented that their exposure up close and personal with dead or dying American soldiers had fortunately been somewhat limited but I had dealt in death and dying in spades and was more affected than even I realized. I will be eternally grateful for their emotional support on our return trip.

I am convinced that no American soldier has ever suffered more than the infantrymen who fought in the Mekong Delta during the Vietnam War, and that includes those at Valley Forge, the Bulge of Christmas ‘44 and Korea the winter of’50. It was a horrible place.

Col. David H.Hackworth

U.S.Army, Retired

Veteran of Korea ‘51-’53

Veteran of Vietnam ‘65-’71

Spinoffsfrom my first book

Brandon, Florida March 8, 1993

Today is a special day which will stick in my mind for a long time. This is the first time I saw a finished copy of my book VIETNAM 1968-1969 A BATTALION SURGEON’S JOURNAL. I didn’t have a clue what the cover would look like and I used to have nightmares about the publisher mispelling my name on the cover or about the possibility I might not like the cover. After all, this was my first and only book and I wanted it to be perfect! So, you can imagine my excitement when I came home for supper that evening and my daughter Allison greeted me with the news, Dad your book came in the mail today!to which her mother, Sondra, responded with some frustration, No Allison, it was supposed to be a surprise. Sondra had kept it a secret from me earlier in the day when we had spoken on the phone. She had wanted to have our family gathered together when I got my first glimpse of the culmination of this long and emotionally draining project. We called John into the kitchen and we four sat down while I excitedly ripped open the carton containing the first ten copies of my book! Wow, this is neat! I exclaimed as I quickly handed them their own copies. Toby Hager looks awesome on the cover , looking out of that chopper. I hope he sees it someday and gives me a call. I would love to hear from him. I wish I knew who the door gunner was. We just called them Gunner since they came and went with the different choppers and many times we never saw them again. I wonder if he will see his picture someday,or if his name is carved into that cold black granite Wall in D.C.? I had tried several times to locate Toby Hager to no avail. He had been a special friend in a very difficult time and place in my life and I was honored that the editors had chosen his picture to grace the cover of my book. Toby had the face of a bulldog and was the epitome of the face of a typical grunt from that war. I finally, almost as an afterthought , realized my picture was also on the cover and felt a small pang of embarresment about that. I soon settled down to autographing my families personal copies, beginning with Sondra’s since I had dedicated the book to her for her being there waiting faithfully when I came back home. And for putting up with many difficult nights and days as I struggled to put Vietnam behind me. Before bedtime I had shared it with my Mom and Dad who seemed so proud of this accomplishment. Talk about being on Cloud Nine, I was way up there above the clouds and would spend much of the next year on an emotional high that would include several reunions with key people from that experience we called Nam.

March 18,1993

I received a surprise telephone call today from Kansas City, Missouri. Bob Knapp had gone to a bookstore to pick up a book on preparing his income tax forms when he accidently saw my book on the bookshelf. Needless to say, the tax book went back on the shelf while he dived into my accounts of many experiences we had shared in Vietnam. Bob said, Doc, you took me back to Vietnam this week through your writing and I just had to call and thank you for that. How neat! I really hadn’t given much thought to the effect my book would have on my fellow veterans. My reluctance to discuss Vietnam with almost anyone was apparently more common than I ever realized. Even though Bob had stayed in the Army as a career, he obviously still carried some excess baggage from the war zone. He told about taking the book to work with him and how so many of his fellow workers never had a clue that he had even been to Vietnam. They were all anxious to read anything that would tell about his experiences in the war. Knapper’s call really made me feel good about writing the book. I still had some fears ofhurting some through the writing of the book but I had always held Bob Knapp in such high regard that his call of approval gave me an unexpected insight into the potential for healing this book could have on countless individuals. For the first time in a long while I slept soundly that night.

March 22,1993

It was around 6:30 PM. I was driving home on the Crosstown Expressway reflecting on my recent conversation with Larry Tahler. I just couldn’t see myself returning to Vietnam voluntarily. My deep thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my car phone. Hi Dad, it’s Chuck. I got the book you sent me and it’s great.I love it! Chuck was studying veterinary medicine at Michigan State University. Although he was too young to remember my year in Vietnam, he knew it was something I had never discussed and he was looking forward to learning more about that big year in his father’s life. Later that evening Larry Tahler called from Phoenix, Arizona. Doc, I just got your book from B.Dalton’s and have just finished reading it. It is wonderful! Thanks for telling the story of SFC Leon Field and so many others. Some of my friends are calling me war hero and I just laugh and say Well you know

Doc Holley kind of exaggerates sometimes!Actually Doc, it’s pretty neat to know that in many ways we were heroes and to be able to stand tall and feel proud about it after all these years of not talking about it.I knew exactly what Larry meant. Col. David H.Hackworth’s book ABOUT FACE had been the pivotal point in me facing my past experiences in Vietnam and I had seen first hand the positive effect writing his book had on Hack. Now I was beginning to experience the same thing with my book. A healing process had begun with Hack’s book and it would obviously continue through my book as well. If you haven’t read my first book, Hack is Col. David H.Hackworth, US Army, Retired, my friend and former Battalion Commander in the 4th Battalion, 39thInfantry, 9th Infantry Division in South Vietnam. He is the author of the best-selling autobiography ABOUT FACE, his memoirs of two tours to Korea and six tours of duty in Vietnam between 1965 and 1971. He holds the distinction of being the most highly decorated living American soldier today and I believe I am alive today because of his military genius. Larry changes the subject to a return trip to Vietnam. That thought has been gnawing at him for some time and he has mentioned it to me on several occasions. My reaction could be summed up in two words: NO WAY! I didn’t see any reason to return to that hot, smelly, filthy place where I had experienced so many heartbreaking situations in the late 60’s. I certainly did not want to go back and told him in so many words to forget about getting me to return to Vietnam with him. End of discussion!

March 25,1993

In the middle of a busy morning in the office, my receptionist buzzed the exam room, Doc, someone is on the phone calling from Texas, something about your book. Do you want to take it or call him back?.

I’ll take it I replied and went back to my private office. Hi Doc. You don’t know me. I’m Roy Garza from McAllen, Texas, a little town down near the ficticious town of Lonesome Dove. I just finished reading your book and felt I just had to call you and tell you I loved it. I was a grunt with the Big Red One (1st Infantry Division) from November ‘68 to November ‘69 and even though we operated a little north of you guys in the 9th Division, your story brought back a lot of memories and I felt the same way as you did about so many things you told in the book. I think it’s great to share so many of your personal feelings the way you did. We all need to heal ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings about Vietnam and what it did to our lives. We talked awhile and he told me he had a son with a serious eye condition and he was unsure what type specialist he should take him to. I pulled out my nationwide directory of eye specialists and quickly located the right man for his son’s problem. He was thrilled to be helped by a fellow Vietnam veteran and I was equally thrilled to be able to help a total stranger who by reading my book felt like he knew me well enough to call for advice. The ripple effectof my book continues to fascinate and thrill me. Touching other people’s lives, that’s what life is all about anyway, right?

March 26,1993

Hack called today from the Keys where he just rode out the Great March Storm. I’m hearing from guys all over the country about Doc’s great book! I’m really proud of you Doc. We went on to discuss the tremendous catharsis he had experienced from writing his own book. The publication of his book had launched a magnificent healing process for so many of us who had served with him and countless others who had not known Hack but had experienced the same frustrations and heartbreak in Vietnam. Yours will do the same Doc, just wait and see.he predicted. It already has, Sir I replied. We both reflected on how far I had come in dealing with the war. For several years while he was in Australia working on his bestseller autobiography ABOUT FACE we had corresponded and then I had stopped answering his correspondence altogether. I believed that ugly experience in Vietnam was buried and put away forever and that it should be left undisturbed just where it was, somwhere in the deep recesses of my mind. Little did I know how wrong and how dangerous that attitude was. Well Hack knew that better than I did and was very persistent in his effort to crack through the wall I had built around me concerning Vietnam. After several months of not hearing back from me, he did a most unusual thing. He sent a special envoy to my office in Tampa to see first