Grief, Bereavement, And Sadness A Simple Guide To The Conditions
By Kenneth Kee
()
About this ebook
This book describes the Grief, Bereavement and Sadness, Treatment and Related Diseases
Grief is a response to the loss of life.
It is a hurt like being stabbed with a knife
The loss of a loved one is so shocking
It can suffocate our breathing
It can cause us to be in denial and depression
It can cause pain in the stomach and indigestion
It can grip the heart and cause chest tightness
There is also muscle weakness and helplessness
Coping with my loss is so difficult
Living after my loss is a struggle
I must acknowledge and accept the death
I touched his dead body in a daze
Why do you have to leave us today?
Your children do not have the urge to play
I have to look after myself and them
Without you nothing will be the same
They say “Lose your spouse you lose your present”
Without you my life is already like a torment
I hope you will be happy where you have gone
I have to accept my fate and carried on
-An original poem by Kenneth Kee
Grief is defined as deep mental anguish such as that arising from bereavement.
Grief is a response to loss particularly the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed.
Usually focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions.
While these terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss and grief is the reaction to loss.
Grief is a loss being related to something that the individual can touch or measure such as losing a spouse through death while other types of loss are abstract and relate to aspects of a person’s social interactions
The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life.
There are six stages of normal grief.
Stages of grief
1. Shock
Shock is the initial reaction to loss.
This stage normally lasts two or three months.
2. Denial
The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation.
We block out the words and hide from the facts.
3. Anger
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge.
Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one.
Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed.
This period may last from six months to a year.
4. Bargaining
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control.
This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
5. Depression
Two types of depression are associated with mourning.
The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss.
Sadness and regret dominate this type of depression.
The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private.
It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our loved one farewell.
6. Acceptance
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone.
This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm.
Coping with loss is an ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience — nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through.
But others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process.
The goal of grieving is not the elimination of all the pain or the memories of the loss.
In this stage, one shows a new interest in daily activities and begins to function normally day to day.
TABLE OF CONTENT
Introduction
Chapter 1 Grief
Chapter 2 Causes of Grief
Chapter 3 Coping with Grief
Chapter 4 Effects of Grief
Chapter 5 Divorce and Marriage Breakdown
Chapter 6 Sadness
Epilogue
Kenneth Kee
Medical doctor since 1972.Started Kee Clinic in 1974 at 15 Holland Dr #03-102, relocated to 36 Holland Dr #01-10 in 2009.Did my M.Sc (Health Management ) in 1991 and Ph.D (Healthcare Administration) in 1993.Dr Kenneth Kee is still working as a family doctor at the age of 74However he has reduced his consultation hours to 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours inthe afternoon.He first started writing free blogs on medical disorders seen in the clinic in 2007 on http://kennethkee.blogspot.com.His purpose in writing these simple guides was for the health education of his patients which is also his dissertation for his Ph.D (Healthcare Administration). He then wrote an autobiography account of his journey as a medical student to family doctor on his other blog http://afamilydoctorstale.blogspot.comThis autobiography account “A Family Doctor’s Tale” was combined with his early “A Simple Guide to Medical Disorders” into a new Wordpress Blog “A Family Doctor’s Tale” on http://ken-med.com.From which many free articles from the blog was taken and put together into 1000 eBooks.He apologized for typos and spelling mistakes in his earlier books.He will endeavor to improve the writing in futures.Some people have complained that the simple guides are too simple.For their information they are made simple in order to educate the patients.The later books go into more details of medical disorders.He has published 1000 eBooks on various subjects on health, 1 autobiography of his medical journey, another on the autobiography of a Cancer survivor, 2 children stories and one how to study for his nephew and grand-daughter.The purpose of these simple guides is to educate patient on health disorders and not meant as textbooks.He does not do any night duty since 2000 ever since Dr Tan had his second stroke.His clinic is now relocated to the Buona Vista Community Centre.The 2 units of his original clinic are being demolished to make way for a new Shopping Mall.He is now doing some blogging and internet surfing (bulletin boards since the 1980's) startingwith the Apple computer and going to PC.The entire PC is upgraded by himself from XT to the present Pentium duo core.The present Intel i7 CPU is out of reach at the moment because the CPU is still expensive.He is also into DIY changing his own toilet cistern and other electric appliance.His hunger for knowledge has not abated and he is a lifelong learner.The children have all grown up and there are 2 grandchildren who are even more technically advanced than the grandfather where mobile phones are concerned.This book is taken from some of the many articles in his blog (now with 740 posts) A Family Doctor’s Tale.Dr Kee is the author of:"A Family Doctor's Tale""Life Lessons Learned From The Study And Practice Of Medicine""Case Notes From A Family Doctor"
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Grief, Bereavement, And Sadness A Simple Guide To The Conditions - Kenneth Kee
Grief,
Bereavement,
And
Sadness
A
Simple
Guide
To
The Conditions
By
Dr Kenneth Kee
M.B.,B.S. (Singapore)
Ph.D (Healthcare Administration)
Copyright Kenneth Kee 2013 Smashwords Edition
Published By Kenneth Kee at Smashwords.com
Dedication
This book is dedicated
To my wife Dorothy
And my children
Carolyn, Grace
And Kelvin
This book describes the Grief, Bereavement and Sadness, Treatment and Related Diseases or in vernacular terms
(What You Need to Treat and Cope with Grief)
This eBook is licensed for the personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader.
If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.
Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Introduction
Ode to Grief
Grief is a response to the loss of life.
It is a hurt like being stabbed with a knife
The loss of a loved one is so shocking
It can suffocate our breathing
It can cause us to be in denial and depression
It can cause pain in the stomach and indigestion
It can grip the heart and cause chest tightness
There is also muscle weakness and helplessness
Coping with my loss is so difficult
Living after my loss is a struggle
I must acknowledge and accept the death
I touched his dead body in a daze
Why do you have to leave us today?
Your children do not have the urge to play
I have to look after myself and them
Without you nothing will be the same
They say Lose your spouse you lose your present
Without you my life is already like a torment
I hope you will be happy where you have gone
I have to accept my fate and carried on
-An original poem by Kenneth Kee
Interesting Tips about the Grief
A Healthy Lifestyle
1. Take a well Balanced Diet
2. Express your grief at the death or divorce
Allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you.
Resisting it only will prolong the natural process of healing
Keep a journal to help write out your feelings.
Do not fight flashbacks or recurring thoughts and dreams of the event
Seek counseling if your feelings seem prolonged or too intense
3. Keep bones and body strong
Bone marrow produces our blood
Eat foods rich in calcium like yogurt, cheese, milk, and dark green vegetables.
Eat foods rich in Vitamin D, like eggs, fatty fish, cereal, and fortified milk.
Eat food rich in Vitamins B and C such as green vegetables and fruits
Zinc and other minerals are important to the body
4. Get enough rest and Sleep
Avoid stress and tension
5. Exercise and stay active.
It is best to do weight-bearing exercise such as walking, jogging, stair climbing, dancing, or lifting