Gold Shades: A True Lady

About the author

Lloyd is an author living in London. His fresh style is a blend of intoxicating prose, charmed romance and perspective. In his debut novel, he proves that experience is no equal to talent. Lloyd has previously published a book of poetry called Gold Shades: The Perfect Gentleman.

Dedication

In dedication to my guardian angel, Carol, and all the strong women out there.

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A True Lady

Published by Austin Macauley at Smashwords

Copyright 2018 Lloyd Theo Kingsley Dwaah

The right of Lloyd Theo Kingsley Dwaah to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the

Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this publication may be made without written permission. No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted save with the written permission of the publisher, or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended). Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is

Available from the British Library.

www.austinmacauley.com

GOLD SHADES: A TRUE LADY

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.

ISBN 9781788784559 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781788784566 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781788784573 (E-Book)

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First Published in 2018

Austin Macauley Publishers.LTD/

CGC-33-01, 25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf, London E14 5LQ

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available

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Acknowledgements

Flavie Léa

Abigail

Angelica

Adriana

Ahmed

Alex

Amanda

Amy

Andrea

Andrew

Andrew. M

Anthony

Angela

Beth

Ben

Cameron

Charles

Chris

Chrissy

Christina

Cindi

Costas

Connie

Daria

Daphne

Effi

Erika

Erica

Gloria

Gladys

Hayaati

Jackie

Jaden

James

Jenny. W

Jenny. A

Jonathan

Joanna

Josephine

Justine

Kay

Kristine

Krystal

Louise

Mahadi

Maria

Marina

Marina. T

Mavis

Melis

Mr Samuels

Mike

Miss Mills

Nadia

Natasha

Nathaniel

Pat

Paula

Pirey

Precious

Rania

Rian

Rianna

Rosa

Sade

Sarah

Saru (She speaks true!)

Stella

Theano

Tija

Stavroulla

Soyadeba

Vasiliki

Vishali

In memory of…

Lynne Goode

Anna Michael Skordis

Peter Kingsley Dwaah

Comfort Amoako-Agyeman

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Will a man ever be able to tell it from a woman’s perspective?

The short answer is no. Let alone a 21-year-old boy who has only just reached two decades. For what would he know? What has even experienced? He doesn’t even know himself yet. Absurd, right?

‘Gold Shades: A True Lady’ aims to do exactly that. 9 women. 9 storylines. 9 perspectives. Sounds like a lot, I know. I still can’t get my head around it. It’s quite emotionally draining being a woman, you know. Well, try being 9 different ones for a day.

Be prepared to be taken on a journey with many ups and downs, twists and turns. Be prepared to laugh, to cry and be awed.

Men, take notes. Women, enjoy.

On a last note, I still don’t think I can answer the question of:

‘Will a man ever be able to tell it from a woman’s perspective?’

Can you?

Maybe after reading this book, you can answer it.

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Character Synopsis

Jane Warrington

Jane Warrington inspires to be a writer just like Liam Derek. She wants to travel the world in search of new inspiration that she can write about. Jane uses her writing for her own self-development in order to find out who she is and inspires to become. She gets the chance to meet Liam Derek on her journey that gives her that extra push she needs to become the writer she desires to be.

Flavie Lea

Flavie loves to sing and play her guitar but keeps doubting how good she really is. She decides to take her fate into her own hands and attempts to make her dreams a reality. With the inspiration of Fiona Accola, Flavie enters a national singing competition and gets noticed by her teen crush Lorenzo Romeo Alexandro who can take her to the next level. On Flavie’s Journey, a star is made but not without a few sacrifices...

Reenara Sai

Reenara wants to change the world, but yet one-night changes her life forever as well as a special someone. While she moves closer to others, some of whom she holds dear grow further apart. Reenara has inspirations of becoming a politician in order to make many unheard voices, heard. The road to becoming a politician for Reenara is a slippery slope. Can she get through it?

Peril Poulos

Who is Peril Poulos? Peril doesn’t really know who she is and is on the path to that discovery. She spends most of her life searching for her biological mother. Yet, there is more than what meets the eye. Peril loses someone she holds dear and devotes her career to seek justice for what had happened. And to help those who had faced a similar battle.

Megan Darwood

Megan Darwood’s life takes a turn for the worse. What used to be a comfort is no more, and she has a lot of decisions to make. Megan enters the world of business but what impact does that have on her finding the man of her dreams. She goes through her life with a share of men in order to find the one right for her.

Daria Musiuk

Daria has always had a passion for travelling the world experiencing various cultures and walks of life. On her travels, she meets what seems to be her perfect match, who vanishes without a single word. In search of him, she finds a family of her own. Daria meets someone from her forgotten past. Let’s just say it’s a very unexpected reunion.

Tinashe

Tinashe’s mother remains a mystery, but her step-mother does a fantastic job as her replacement showing how kind a person can be. She isn’t really a party type but one night influences her life forever. On a girl’s night out, Tinashe meets her perfect guy who as she will soon discover will push her to her limits.

Rosana Maria Luciana

Rosana loves to draw, and art is the only thing that understands her. At school, she doesn’t think she fits in. That is until she meets Jonathan who helps her pursue a career in art. Can two completely different people make it work? Will the world get to see how talented Rosana is, as she attempts to create a gallery of her own?

Natalie Gale

Natalie Gale wants to be a dancer and applies for POU of Arts. However, her dreams have to be put on hold for the moment until she can get financial support. Not everyone agrees that it’s the best step to go down, yet Natalie is determined to show them otherwise. Natalie finds out it is not as easy as she planned.

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Contents

Chapter One : Initiation

Chapter Two : The Struggle

Chapter Three: If Only They Understood

Chapter Four: Whatever He Could Do, I Could Do Better

Chapter Five : Just Like a Fairy Tale Ball

Chapter Six: I’ve Made My Decision

Chapter Seven: Where Am I?

Chapter Eight: Life as a Writer

Chapter Nine: I Can’t Do This Anymore

Chapter Ten: Where Are You?

Chapter Eleven: Meeting a Stranger

Chapter Twelve: Let Me Live My Life

Chapter Thirteen: The World of Business, Politics and Law

Chapter Fourteen: My Gallery

Chapter Fifteen: In Dedication to Love

Chapter Sixteen: The Perfect Guy

Chapter Seventeen: My Stage

Chapter Eighteen: Confused in Love

Chapter Nineteen: Unexpected

Chapter Twenty: Trapped

Chapter Twenty-One: However Long It Takes

Chapter Twenty-Two: How Could You

Chapter Twenty-Three: Betrayal

Chapter Twenty-Four: Life

Chapter Twenty-Five: Newly Wed

Chapter Twenty-Six: A True Lady

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Chapter One

Initiation

15th February, 2016 ‘Jane Warrington’s Diary’ – ‘A Brief Introduction’

His mind spoke foreign tongue that only I understood. His personal interests were in line with mine, just a smile from him, I’d consider was worth all my time. For the way he laughed left me in a static stance. A spell I couldn’t quite get rid of, even if I tried; constant thoughts of him would be conjuring up in my mind. Yet, he did not appear to realise. The look I gave as he brushed by. I remember once when he asked for my name. I just stood there in awe, and replied ‘‘Jane, and what is yours?’’ But before he could answer, his best friend Peril called. She had perfect hair fabricating doubts in almost every girl at school. Not to mention, her smile. She had both guys and girls kneeling before her Jimmy Choo shoes. I wish I had a pair. If I had them for just a week, I’d feel like a star walking down the aisle of Broadway.

All attention he paid was redirected to her. A part of me became envious. I saw the way their eyes exchanged smiles, their souls seemed in sync. She could not offer what I could, yet why every school hour, I’d see her with him. I wish I could’ve been with him. Just those regularised notions would leave my heart to sigh; thinking of my potential pair that I really hoped would be him. Nevertheless, upon looking up at the stars, I’d stare and I’d say to the sky as if I was speaking to him, Will you be mine?

I mean surely if he felt the same way, he’d ask me to be his, even if that was for a temporary period of time. Before he saw all my flaws, and how I wasn’t good enough. All those other girls, he could choose to elect to be his queen. I couldn’t have possibly dreamt that girl could’ve been me. Yet, for Peril, it seemed meant to be. Various distinct imperfections that he would see far from perfect and even if I could, change all those imperfections. What would guarantee his heart to be mine? What would stop the new imperfections from overshadowing the old? I feared the dread of being caught in my own emotions, and yet here I was – a prisoner of my own mind.

I do not wish to be alone. I wish I did not feel this way for I was an insecure soul, searching for a secure place to stay. I wondered… Was he my security? My spirit’s bodyguard? Or would he view me… as just another wicked game he’d play? My heart could not take the slightest tear, like a page torn from a book. Even with protection from its cover, leaving a story to unfold for it to just reach its end. I am cemented in a whirlwind of endless despair and desire; wanting something with all one’s heart. For surely if it were to be lost – their whole world in an instant, would be torn apart. An almost impossible situation, I desired not to be situated in, and somehow I landed in a spot where I wasn’t entirely sure. I was or was not supposed to be.

Fortunately for me, class had ended. Every cognition of him could wait to be attended to. Another day.

16th February, 2016 – ‘The Second Day’

A new morning arose as the sunlight pierced my blinds as if to say I should wake up. I began to think about what the day had planned for me, not until I’d find an outfit to wear, of course. In my wardrobe, there appeared to be countless clothes, yet limited options. I wore several outfits that morning, none of which I fancied wearing. I wanted something that I could use to impress Adam with, without going over the top. After selecting my clothes that I placed on my bed, I got ready, equipping myself for the day that lay ahead. Jane! my little brother would call, from the bottom of the stairs before he’d shout irritatingly. Mother is waiting for you in the car; she said if you don’t come in this instant, we will be leaving without you. I’d hurry downstairs, but before I did so, I briefly stopped at the bathroom. I had to have one last glance in the mirror, although there wasn’t much point as it reflected a reflection I despised. As I picked up my backpack placed by the front door, I could hear my brothers playing in the car while my mother asked them to be quiet, as she would usually do every school morning. As I got in the car, it seemed as if the noise from within the car, multiplied a dozen times. I was starting to get a headache from all the noise. It was a typical morning for the Warrington family.

On approaching the school, I’d see Reenara on her phone waiting for me, probably reading an article about the extinction of panda bears, as she tended to do every other Tuesday. As I told my mother goodbye, Reenara ran over to greet me. She’d ask, How is he?

I didn’t want to entertain that conversation, so I replied, Did you do Miss Mills’ literature homework? Reenara gave me a guilty look as if she’d lost a trial case. I just giggled, as so did she. While walking to classroom M18, Reenara suddenly plodded my shoulder to acquire my attention. There he was, standing in the centre of the corridor. A masterpiece in a gallery, for all who saw him would paint a picture of themselves contained in his arms. If only he’d approach me and say hi. I’d doubt it was a thought, he’d even consider, especially when Peril was in his presence. Why was she everywhere he went?

If the opportunity presented itself for it to be him and me, I would leap at the chance to be what his heart desired. I guess that would never be. Reenara and I would always talk about the perfect man, and how he didn’t exist. I convinced myself that was true, yet the thought remained Was Adam, that guy? Reenara plodded my shoulder a second time, informing me that we had to hurry to class. So off we ran.

In classroom M18, we had literature with Miss Mills – the best teacher anyone could ask for. She idealised independence through the way she walked, and she had the softest voice an angel would envy. I knew all the male teachers fancied her, especially Mr Frantico, who brought her flowers every Friday after school while complimenting her straight golden hair. I guess her husband wasn’t too happy about that. She would always talk about the time she met Mr Mills at a poetry convention in Nottingham and how he was the most charming man she’d ever met. It seemed everyone was in love apart from me. To make it worse, Megan had walked in with her boyfriend, Harry who was captain of the football team. They were such an adorable couple that even I envied. She and Harry entered M18 like the world was placed beneath them, caring about nobody but them. I remember when we were BFFs in primary school who’d tell each other everything, that all changed when her father lost his job at a Fabrizo Fashions. I’m not sure why, but she never appeared the same after that.

Once everyone had seated, Miss Mills would gently ask after handing out a sheet of paper, Class, can you please write down what societies you’d like to join for next week? Reenara whispered in my ear that she would join both the Feminist and Nature society and asked for me to do the same, so I did. Ever since we met, when her family had arrived from India, we have been the greatest of friends and have done everything together. After collecting in, the sheet of paper, Miss Mills tried to begin the lesson. Tinashe and Daria were chatting away at the back. She told them to be quiet and told everyone to turn to chapter 12 of ‘Guardian Angel’ by Liam Derek, an inspiring poet who depicted love and chaos as a single element. She said to Rosana if she’d like to start reading from paragraph 6: page 102. Rosana was just busy in her notepad, doing whatever she normally did so Miss Mills would take her place. As she began reading, I couldn’t help to think if such creature could truly exist in this world; one that inspires women whenever they are at their lowest or trying to find themselves while also showing its admiration for the pieces of art they are and are to become. If it were to be the case, I’d sure hope that a guardian angel was watching over me this very moment. Yet I knew that was only written in fairy tales, but a segment of my imagination would manifest into a dimension, replete with curiosity and adventure. Before I knew it, the lesson had finished.

In the morning break, I, Reenara and Flavie would sit on the benches by the playground and talk about where we’d see ourselves 5 years down the line. Reenara said she’d like to be on tour around the world, visiting some of the most incredible places on earth, experiencing new cultures and new ways of life. Flavie, on the other hand, inspired to become a singer, not for the fame or glory, but to make others happy as music did for her. For me, I wasn’t quite sure where I saw myself. I just couldn’t see beyond Adam, yet I just told Reenara and Flavie I’d become a famous writer and create art through words. Just as Liam Derek did, in his first release ‘My lyrical gallery’ which portrayed his life experiences into individual pieces of art, people like me admired. Maybe one day, I’d write my own book about how Adam and I fell in love. There was one piece of Liam Derek’s work which illustrated my love life entirely. I remember it going something like this,

"Tell me of love

A game?

If so, I want to play

Roll, see where I land

Placed on a board,

I was

Constantly moving,

With a roll of a dice

Another player added,

Risks increased,

Stacks piled on the table

More to lose, and to gain

Strong position,

Close victory

Yet with a single roll,

Now weakened position

Left to chance,

I have no luck

Forfeit?

I hate love’s game."

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When I first read this, I had the faintest of smiles because I knew this had Jane written all over it. As that thought appeared on my mind, Adam appeared. I could see Peril telling him something privately; I wondered what it could’ve been. Must it be her confession about her undying love for him? Or was it just interesting news that she had just found out. As my mind became entangled in vines of inquisitiveness, Flavie would ask Why don’t you just go and speak to him?

I’d reply falsely, Yes, you’re right, having not yet awoken from the stance, Adam had left me in.

I tended to have those moments, Adam was that constant distraction. My heart would desire. Yet my mind knew I couldn’t. In an attempt to remove my mind’s conflicting thoughts, Flavie and I went to grab a bite to eat while Reenara went to speak to Miss Mills about something do with a society. I was not quite sure what she said, I was just preoccupied with Adam. On walking to the school cafeteria, Flavie mentioned about joining the songwriting society and asked if I wanted to join. I did enjoy writing, but I was not quite sure if I could turn it into even a single verse of a song. I remember there was this one time, in music class in primary school with Mr Duffy, where we were asked to construct a song for the school’s concert. Let’s just say it didn’t particularly go very well. Anyways, I just told Flavie I would, to stop her from going on about how great it is. She loved music, in the same way, I loved writing, but a combination of the two wasn’t for me. It was just another experience I was looking to add to my armoury, if that. As we were approaching the entrance, Daria and Natalie had walked passed. Flavie said she wanted to go and speak to them about what society they had joined, I told her I’d catch her later. The cafeteria awaited.

Later that day, I was going to my first songwriting society. It was new territory for me. I loved to write; however, to combine my words with music or melodies was just unheard of. I knew Flavie was going as she said earlier. I had hoped she hadn’t convinced Daria and Natalie to come too. They were just not part of my world. They never saw writing the way I did. That was the case for most people, just words on a page without meaning. Adam felt the same way as me, I could tell. I just knew it. Just the way he wrote that article for the school newspaper was phenomenal, it was a side to him I never knew he had. It just made me want him even more. If only Peril went to another school or something, then it could just be him and me. Saying that he’d probably fancy someone else. I said I wouldn’t speak of him, but it was hard not to. Songwriting class I’d hope would take my mind off things.

After sitting down waiting for the music teacher to arrive, Nick had sat next to me. He eagerly stated how he could not wait to start this society. He was a bit too keen. He was acting as if a new movie had come out that the whole world had waited for. I just smiled acknowledging what he said, but he just made me want this songwriting class to start already. The music teacher had walked in. I was sure it was Mr Musiuk, Daria’s father, who I did not know until now, worked at this school. As soon as he entered, he did something quite bizarre. He ran over to the piano placed on the other side of the classroom and started playing while humming to the notes played. Everyone wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but we were still amused at this extraordinary man. He then began with the words, We play, we run, let’s write a story together.

At that moment of singing these words, he stopped playing and addressed the classroom. Music tells a story; words add the structure. He then asked to those who were paying attention. Can someone tell me what this means? Everyone just stared at each other, forgetting they could speak English, with what Mr Musiuk said floating on their minds. He could tell that no-one knew what he meant so he just laughed and continued on. I’m running a competition, next Tuesday to see how talented you guys are, so be prepared, he stated, and it hadn’t even been 5 minutes yet. While he said all of this, I could see Flavie staring at the projector behind Mr Musiuk. I wondered what she could have been thinking.

16th February, 2016 ‘Flavie Lea’s Diary’ – ‘They Think They Know Better’

Everyone seemed to think they knew what was best for me. Telling me one thing to the next, just generally saying what they thought was best. I mean who did they think they were? I was my own person, with my own mind and my own ambitions. Every mistake I made, they saw was a weakness, they’d say singing wasn’t for me and they thought that I didn’t even know my own strengths. I had always wanted to be a singer since before I could talk. A lot of people thought otherwise. Some of the comments they said actually hurt, but I knew I had to carry on despite this. I have to admit that there were times I would believe them and I wouldn’t sing for months. Singing made me feel free; it gave me a sense of purpose. I just loved music in general, to be honest. Ever since my father gave me his guitar, I hadn’t stopped playing. Of course, there were better guitarists, but not one could love their guitar more than me. The combination of the two put me in a place of my own, unreachable from reality. Tuesday was the day; I was going to show just a segment of the world what I could do.

The songwriting society was holding a competition? And the winner would get to meet Lorenzo Romeo Alexandro, a French singer from Cannes. He was perfect in so many ways. His voice. His charm. He just had a way with music. I had the pleasure of seeing him at a concert last year with my two sisters, it was an incredible experience but to meet him in person would just be amazing. The way he owned that stage was something I admired the most. It was something I had always been afraid to do. I had never entered any competitions before, so this was my first. I did have my doubts, but this is what I wanted to do. First of all, I had to come up with a song, which seemed to be easier said than done. Even though I was in songwriting society, I’d stay on the same line for hours as each and every line had to be perfect. I’d have to ask Jane if she could help me, after all, she was blessed with her writing skills which she seemed to doubt. I did not have a clue why that was. I knew she knew what Mr Musiuk was talking about. I’d have to ask her out of class, I didn’t want to get embarrassed. I still could not get my head around meeting Mr Alexandro. His song ‘Dance with me’ was just a minuscule amount of what he could do, and that made it to number one in the charts. I’m sure he could give me a couple of pointers on how I could improve. Just to meet him would be great. I had to win this competition, I just had to. Daria would probably win though since her voice was just incredible. Her dad was a music teacher after all. There was this one song she sang, where she hit every note. I didn’t even know it was possible until she sang it.

After songwriting class had ended and telling everyone, I’d see them tomorrow. I sprinted home, eager to write this song. Lorenzo awaited. On approaching the door to my house, my little sister was placed on the front step, with tears pouring from her eyes. While my arm was placed on her shoulder, I asked what had happened, and she replied Flavie, I have done something awful. When she normally told me this, she was referring to wearing Mum’s make up. So I told her not to worry about it and how Mum would just laugh. She looked up at me and said, Flavie, I broke your… Without her even finishing off that sentence, I ran to my room. The tip of my guitar was showing from under my bed. As I brought it out, I could see it had been completely destroyed. Flavie, I’m sorry, Sarah called from behind. I just wanted to scream; that guitar was irreplaceable. The destruction Sarah had caused was beyond repair. In order to comfort her, I had to tell her not to worry about it, even though she destroyed part of my life. How was I going to be able to write this song? Without being able to play my guitar, I felt like giving up on this competition. I probably wouldn’t have won anyway.

Later that day, I sat on my computer chair looking out on the street, wondering why this had happened to me. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Then I remembered what Mr Musiuk had said earlier today, Music tells a story; words add the structure. I still couldn’t understand what he meant; I kind of knew what he was getting at, but without my guitar, what was I supposed to do. How could I write a song without music? Was that even possible? I had to try somehow. I’d have to speak to Mr Musiuk next songwriting class on Tuesday about doing a cover of a song instead. He probably would not allow it, but I had to try.

19th February, 2016

I could hear an unusual instrumental coming from the music room; I had to go and check who was playing. As I entered the room, Mr Musiuk was placed behind the piano, and the music had then stopped. How may I help young lady? he asked. I told him how my guitar had been completely destroyed and without it, I couldn’t write my own song. He just smiled in acknowledgement and following that, he replied, I never said you have to make your own, I don’t expect you to, and that is why I am here. Tomorrow, just do whatever you feel comfortable with. I had felt at ease to an extent, as the pressure of writing my own song was uplifted. Yet, I’d still have to rehearse a song, and I wasn’t particularly comfortable singing in front of people. What was I even going to sing?

20th February, 2016 – ‘First Final Performance’

On the stage I stood, the whole of the songwriting class was watching. As the music played, I closed my eyes and attempted to sing. Not a single word came out of my mouth. I couldn’t understand why this was happening. It meant so much to me and I couldn’t even perform in front of a dozen people. The palms of my hands and unsteadiness of my legs were indications of my nervousness. I could feel this weird feeling in my stomach. Even though there was only a dozen, the feeling I had right now was as if my dreams of becoming a singer had flashed before my very eyes. Even Mr Musiuk’s smile could not comfort me unless it was the smile of Lorenzo Romeo Alexandro! I could see Jane staring at me, wanting me to carry on, but I just couldn’t. Flavie, you can perform next competition that we have, Mr Musiuk said, in an attempt to ease my emotions. At this point, I did not care about Lorenzo Romeo Alexandro. My dream of singing in front of the thousands while they smiled and sang along with me was becoming a distant dream that someone who could actually sing and perform would make come true. As I sat down next to Jane, Daria got up from her chair and placed herself in the middle of the stage. The whole class sat silently in anticipation. The music played, as she closed her eyes. She quickly removed a strand of her blonde hair from her face, in sync with how the music was being played. She hadn’t even sung yet, and I could sense it was going to be great. Then as she took a breath in, her powerful voice took the classroom by surprise. Even those who were outside speaking dropped whatever they were doing and glanced over in amusement. She was even better than before. Her voice was perfection; every word she sang was a melody to the ear. At the corner of my eye, I saw Jane remove her glasses to take a closer look. I found it quite funny how it wouldn’t have made a difference, and it probably would have made her eye sight even worse. Daria made me doubt, if I should even pursue a career in singing. She, I knew, was destined for great things. Maybe everyone was right. There and then, I did not want to sing anymore. The feeling, I felt was something I do not want to experience again…

1st January, 2023 – ‘Start of a Journey’

I had applied ages ago; day after day I had checked my email. What was taking so long? I needed to know as soon as possible, so I could ask my boss when I could take a day off. My dream of being a singer was shattered many years ago. The year 2023, I knew