Hundred Ways to F & F Your Popularity
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About this ebook
In this book, I intend to give you some humorous insight to our daily life without demeaning any group of people or any social relations. I request all my readers to please keep in mind that, what I am a suggesting you to do in this book, if you add only a ‘not’ or ‘no’ in most of the tips, it will be your father’s advice to become a good human being. While going through the book, you may identify some of your mistakes while dealing with people. If one can avoid those mistakes, one can be a popular person and make your near and dear happy. So it is up to you whether you want to add a ‘not’ or ‘no’ in all my tips or just take ‘as it is’ as given in my book. Some repetitions in the last chapter with some other chapters are intentional to make myself an unpopular writer.After reading my book, you will be able to F & F your popularity. You have to take a call what F & F stands for you.
Hiranya Borah
Born in a teachers' family in a village of Assam, a province of India, Borah started his journey of writing at a tender age of eleven. He published two novels in Assamese language and other fictional and non-fictional stories in Assamese periodicals during his college days. Then Borah almost stopped his literary activity for more than three decades. In the meantime he became a Gender specialist.However,so far, he has published more than one hundred and sixty five books on this platform in English and one book in Hindi within a span of five years. The books are on different topics like inspiration,romance and love, humour, ghosts, suspense thriller, children etc and those are written both in prose and poetry.Eight English and two Assamese books are also available in printed form. 2nd edition of his first book, 'Random Thoughts' is also in the public domain.
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Hundred Ways to F & F Your Popularity - Hiranya Borah
Hundred Ways to F&F Your Popularity
****
By Hiranya Borah
Copyright 2018 Hiranya Borah
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
Thank You for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.
Introduction: A Humorous Analogy
In this book, I intend to give you some humorous insight to our daily life without demeaning any group of people or any social relations.
In everyone’s life, at least once, one has to face the experience of uttering or hearing these two sentences: You are killing me! Or, you are going to kill me! If you are uttering these sentences more than hearing, then you have to learn from this book, the art of killing or just art of kidding. If you have already acquired the habit of hearing those two sentences quite often from others, you need not have to read this book to learn anything from me, but you can read this book to advise me, how I can improve my book for my students, who whole heartedly want to be unpopular and hear those sentences from others. In that case, I may also appoint you as a teacher in my school, ‘Art of Killing’ or ‘Art of Kidding’, if you wish to join me in my endeavour to make some people more unpopular than the others. Hopefully, you will be master of souring your relation with your relatives, friends, teachers, students, colleagues, bosses and subordinates after going through this book.
I have given some tips how to force the other person to utter ‘Oh my God, you are killing me’ or similar sentences through your effortless and seemingly innocent activities.
Knowing fully well that you are a very busy person (may be busy for nothing), in the last chapter, I have given some tips which you can memorise to become unpopular among different groups of people without reading my whole book.
Originally I thought to give the name of the book as ‘Art of killing’ and then I discarded the name as I have a kind of allergy with the word ‘killing’. Then I replaced ‘killing’ by ‘kidding’. However, I feel ‘kidding’ will not also be a proper representative word of the chapters in the book. Finally, I introduced the last chapter, ‘Few Tips to become unpopular’ and decided to give the name of the book as ‘Hundred (Many) Ways to Become Unpopular’. Then finally, I have decided to give a sexy name for the book as, ‘Hundred Ways to F&F Your Popularity’. Here F & F may be Flaunt and Flourish or may be Flout and Finish or may be Fudge and Finish or any words you can suggest which according to you is deemed fit for the book, after a thorough reading the whole book.
The book have been divided into different chapters on the basis of some fundamental relations barring the last one. In the last chapter, all the relations are put together to have an overview of ‘dos’ and ‘do nots’ in our daily dealings with closely related and with other unrelated people to become unpopular.
Finally, I request all my readers to please keep in mind that, what I am advising (sorry, suggesting) you to do in this book, if you add only a ‘not’ or ‘no’ in most of the tips, it will be your father’s advices to become a good human being. While going through the book, you may identify some of your mistakes while dealing with people. If one can avoid those mistakes, one can be a popular person and make your near and dear happy. So it is up to you whether you want to add a ‘not’ or ‘no’ in all my tips or just take ‘as it is’ as given in my book. Some repetitions in the last chapter with some other chapters are intentional to make myself an unpopular writer.
The background and examples given in the book are fictitious and any resemblance is mere coincidence only.
The book is dedicated to all my relatives including my wife, son, daughters and other people including my bosses, colleagues, subordinates and teachers.
I take the opportunity to thank Smashwords for publishing the book in their platform.
Author
Chapter I: Identification of Relation with Relatives
Before you become unpopular amongst all your relatives, identification of them is very important. Therefore, in this chapter, I am trying to help you in identifying the relatives or the persons having some relation with you and I try to help you in making yourself the most unpopular person amongst your relatives and your peer groups. Afterwards, I shall try to give some tips of one to one relation to become unpopular with individual relative(s) instantly.
Yes, I am writing something trivial and true reflection of our beloved and hated relatives around us. As we all have been blessed with relatives, the moment we came out of the cosy wombs of our mothers, we have to live with them with love or with hatred. As we grew up, we love/ hate our relatives as per our own convenience (you may argue on this point) and absolutely not with their convenience. The more you grow, your group of known persons are also growing exponentially and therefore, number of loved ones and hated ones will also grow exponentially.
Let us start our journey with a story:
I was a Guest of a State Government to deliver few lectures on finding inspirations from our own colleagues in our daily lives. While I was telling how we can take inspiration from good colleagues and true friends, one young gentleman asked, ‘Sir you are talking about taking inspiration from colleagues and friends; but you have not mention about relatives. Is it a deliberate omission or just forgot to mention?’
‘Yes, it is a deliberate omission. None of us is inspired by our relatives, other than by our own fathers or mothers, in a positive way.’
‘No sir, I disagree with you. I am always inspired by my uncle, my father’s younger brother. My father was a Clerk and my uncle is a direct recruit group B officer. I was always inspired by my uncle’s achievement and in due course of time, I have been able to become a direct recruit Group-A officer of my State Government. I am also always truthful to myself that I could not have done it without taking inspiration from my uncle.’
He disagreed my opinion outright.
With a smile, I asked the young officer, ‘Please tell me truthfully, how many times your uncle had told you to become a direct recruit officer and how many times your father had told you to study sincerely so that you can be a bigger officer than your uncle.’
The young officer thought for a moment and said, ‘My uncle had never told me to study seriously but my father used to tell every second day till I was selected for this post.’
‘Thanks for telling the truth. It is your father, whose jealousy for his younger brother (he is an unpopular person among his relatives who are less successful than him), pushed you to achieve the milestone what your father or for that matter, your uncle could not achieve. Therefore, I said, none of us is inspired by our relatives, other than by own father or mother, in a positive way. Unfortunately, without your conscious knowledge, you are all-along inspired by a negative thought. Looking at the mental agony of your father of not being an officer like his younger brother, you told to yourself every day to achieve something better than your uncle. Fortunately, for you and more importantly, for your father it was a great moral victory. I am sure, your uncle while congratulating you, felt extremely dejected from the core of his heart on the day of your selection to a Group-A post. I am sure on that account, he told to his children to achieve something more than, what you have achieved on that day. In the process, you became the most unpopular person in his family as on today and surpassing your uncle in the unpopular chart of your entire close family.’
There was a silence in the room for some time. I noticed few drops of tears in the eyes the young officer, the tears for his satisfaction to wipe out the agony of his father for few decades.
However, I term the agony of his father as only jealousy of his father towards his younger brother. But I decided not to hurt the sentiment of the young officer, knowing fully well, he has, without any bad intention, ignited a fire of jealousy in the hearts of many of the relatives including the family members of his uncle. (I preferred to be a popular person in the eyes of the young officers present there. But if you want to be unpopular speaker, you should tell what bitter truth that has come to your mind at that time without any filtration by using some sugar coated words.)
‘Though my topic for discussion was different, I shall try to analyse some of the issues evolved around our relatives.’ I paused for a moment and started to talk on the issues associated with our relatives.
Basically there are two types of relatives in our life, one by birth and another through our marriages. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Some of the qualities are common for both types of relatives and some are diametrically opposites. I do not want to go into detail into the advantages and disadvantages of these relatives.
However, I must have to mention here one thing which hopefully everyone will agree that both have one common quality, both always avoid relatives who are worse off than them and take maximum advantage from the better off relatives.
Though, if you are successful, all your relatives want to take advantages from you or make a point to mention your name before their peer groups, they will never love you; in extreme cases, they may even hate you.
Please do not be offended, this is true for me as well. But what I am saying here, if you mention what you feel about them before those successful persons and at the same time if you seek help from them as well, you may earn the most unpopular tag within a very short time among those relatives and you will be able to force your relatives to shut their doors on your face.
***
Hotel lobby of any Five Star hotel is a place where you can pass your time without any work for hours looking at the beautiful and successful people of the society. Whenever, I have an opportunity to sit in a Five-Star hotel lobby as guests of the hotel or as a guest of a guest of the hotel, looking at the guests and the visitors, I always feel happy. A positive feeling goes to my head. It appears to me, all of them are successful persons in their own domains. I never felt any jealousy about them; probably, because I do not know any of them.
We never, feel jealous about a person, whom we do not know. Let me give one example, all of us (all Indians except who are close relatives and some fellow players) love cricket maestro Sachin Tendulkar. He is a great inspiration for the budding cricketers across the country. But I cannot say whether close relatives or close associates of Sachin Tendulkar love him equally with a common cricket fan of India. I am sure, he is also a thorn in the flesh for some of his close relatives.
In my opinion (you have every right to disagree), for every successful person, there are hordes of disgruntling relatives, though in front of him/ her none will show their jealousy and behind him/ her, everyone wants to associate his/her name for their own benefits.
By saying this, I may be an unpopular person for all of you.
****
Siblings may be the best friends and may be the worst enemies. I need not have to give many examples on this, like killing of brothers for property, sending brothers and sisters on false cases to jails and so on.
However, I would like to give one example of a friend who told something very scary about brother-sister relation. The younger sister of that gentleman (as per his version) told his wife about his past in a negative way and informed his physical short-comings to his fiancée before his marriage. After his marriage, she tried all sorts of ways and means to break his marriage and when she failed to do so, she told each and every relative, how arrogant, unhelpful he became after his marriage.
Though she had never mind to mention his name to get some due/ undue advantages from someone known to the gentleman, she used to write stories about the gentleman showing him in an extreme bad light. Even after doing so much damage for his brother, she had never mind to seek any type of help from her brother at the slightest pretext.
As an elder brother, though he was hurt, he never complained to anyone thinking that his sister is jealous about his success in academic and social life. But how many brothers can tolerate such type of audacity from their younger sisters?
I do not know who is more unpopular for each other. But I am sure, none would have figured in the list of popular person in their lives.
***
Jealousy is one factor which eclipses all other factors of a bad relation amongst the relatives. I have given in the earlier paragraph, one example where a bad relation