The New Inn, or, The Light Heart

THE NEW INN

OR,

THE LIGHT HEART.

A COMEDY.

BY BEN JONSON

A Digireads.com Book

Digireads.com Publishing

Print ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4094-7

Ebook ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4197-5

This edition copyright © 2012

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CONTENTS

THE NEW INN

THE DEDICATION TO THE READER.

THE ARGUMENT

THE SCENES

THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY.

THE PROLOGUE.

THE NEW INN.

ACT I, Scene ii.

ACT I, Scene iii.

ACT I, Scene iv.

ACT I, Scene v.

ACT I, Scene vi.

ACT II, Scene i.

ACT II, Scene ii.

ACT II, Scene iii.

ACT II, Scene iv.

ACT II, Scene v.

ACT II, Scene vi.

ACT III, Scene i.

ACT III, Scene ii.

ACT IV, Scene i.

ACT IV, Scene ii.

ACT IV, Scene iii.

ACT IV, Scene iv.

ACT V, Scene i.

ACT V, Scene ii.

ACT V, Scene iii.

ACT V, Scene iv.

ACT V, Scene v.

EPILOGUE.

THE NEW INN

OR,

THE LIGHT HEART.

Me lectori credere mallem:

Quàm spectatoris fastidiis ferre superbi. Hor.

THE DEDICATION TO THE READER.

If thou be such, I make thee my patron, and dedicate the piece to thee: If not so much, would I had been at the charge of thy better literature. Howsoever, if thou canst but spell, and join my sense, there is more hope of thee, than of a hundred fastidious impertinents, who were there present the first day, yet never made piece of their prospect the right way. What did they come for, then? Thou wilt ask me. I will as punctually answer: to see, and to be seen: to make a general muster of themselves in their clothes of credit: and possess the stage against the play: to dislike all, but mark nothing. And by their confidence of rising between the acts, in oblique lines, make affidavit to the whole house, of their not understanding one scene. Armed with this prejudice, as the stage-furniture, or arras-clothes, they were there, as spectators, away. For the faces in the hangings, and they beheld alike; so I wish they may do ever, and do trust myself and my book, rather to thy rustic candor, than all the pomp of their pride, and solemn ignorance to boot. Fare thee well, and fall too. Read.

BEN JONSON.

But, first

The Argument.

THE ARGUMENT

The Lord Frampul, a noble gentleman, well educated, and bred a scholar in Oxford, was married young, to a virtuous gentlewoman, Sylly's daughter of the South, whose worth (though he truly enjoyed) he never could rightly value; but, as many green husbands (given over to their extravagant delights, and some peccant humors of their own) occasioned in his over loving wife, so deep a melancholy, by his leaving her in the time of her lying in of her second daughter, she having brought him only two daughters, Frances and Laetitia: and (out of her hurt fancy) interpreting that to be a cause of her husband's coldness in affection, her not being blest with a son, took a resolution with herself, after her months time, and thanksgiving rightly in the church, to quit her home, with a vow never to return, till by reducing her lord, she could bring a wished happiness to the family.

He, in the meantime returning, and hearing of this departure of his lady, began, though over-late, to resent the injury he had done her: and out of his cock-brained resolution, entered into as solemn a quest of her. Since when, neither of them had been heard of. But the eldest daughter Frances, by the title of Lady Frampul, enjoyed the state, her sister being lost young, and is the sole relict of the family.

THE SCENES

ACT I.

Here begins our comedy.

This lady, being a brave, bountiful lady, and enjoying this free, and plentiful estate, hath an ambitious disposition to be esteemed the mistress of many servants, but loves none. And hearing of a famous new inn, that is kept by a merry host, called Goodstock, in Barnet, invites some lords and gentlemen to wait on her thither, as well to see the fashions of the place, as to make themselves merry, with the accidents on the by. It happens, there is a melancholic gentleman, one Master Lovel, hath been lodged there some days before in the inn, who, (unwilling to be seen) is surprised by the lady, and invited by Prudence, the lady’s chambermaid, who is elected governess of the sports in the inn for that day, and installed their sovereign. Lovel is persuaded by the host, and yields to the lady’s invitation, which concludes the First Act. Having revealed his quality before, to the host.

In the second act.

Prudence and her lady express their anger conceived at the tailor, who had promised to make Prudence a new suit, and bring it home, as on the eve, against this day. But he, failing of his word, the lady had commanded a standard of her own best apparel to be brought down; and Prudence is so fitted. The lady being put in mind, that she is there alone without other company of women, borrows (by the advice of Pru) the host’s son of the house, whom they dress, with the host’s consent, like a lady, and send out the coachman, with the empty coach, as for a kinswoman of her ladyship’s, Mistress Laetitia Sylly, to bear her company: who attended with his nurse, an old chairwoman in the inn, dressed oddly, by the host’s council, is believed to be a lady of quality, and so received, entertained, and love made to her by the young Lord Beaufort, &c. In the meantime, the Fly of the inn is discovered to Colonel Glorious, with the militia of the house, below the stairs, in the drawer, tapster, chamberlain, and hostler, inferior officers; with the coachman Trundle, Ferret, &c. And, the preparation is made, to the lady’s design upon Lovel, his upon her, and the sovereign’s upon both.

Here begins, at the third act, the epitasis, or business of the play.

Lovel, by the dexterity and wit of the sovereign of the sports, Prudence; having two hours assigned him, of free colloquy, and love-making to his mistress, one after dinner, the other after supper; the court being set, is demanded by the Lady Frampul, what love is? As doubting if there were any such power, or no. To whom, he first by definition, and after by argument answers, , and describing the effects of love, so vively, as she who had derided the name of love before, hearing his discourse, is now so taken both with the man and his matter, as she confesseth herself enamored of him, and, but for the ambition she hath to enjoy the other hour, had presently declared herself: which gives both him and the spectators occasion to think she yet dissembles, notwithstanding the payment of her kiss, which he celebrates. And the court dissolves, upon a news brought, of a new lady, a newer coach, and a new coachman called Barnaby.

ACT IV.

The house being put into a noise, with the rumor of this new lady, and there being drinking below in the court, the colonel, Sir Glorious, with Bat Burst, a broken citizen, and Hodge Huffle his champion; she falls into their hands, and being attended but with one footman, is uncivilly entreated by them, and a quarrel commenced, but is rescued by the valour of Lovel; which beheld by the Lady Frampul, from the window, she is invited up for safety, where coming, and conducted by the host, her gown is first discovered to be the same with the whole suit, which was bespoken for Pru, and she herself, upon examination, found to be Pinnacia Stuff, the tailor’s wife, who was wont to be preoccupied in all his customers’