Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth
    Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth
    Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth
    Ebook134 pages1 hour

    Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth

    By Scott Ellis

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    I used to live in a hall of mirrors, all I could see was me. Jimi Hendrix If you quietly slip into a room imagining everyone’s judging you, this book is for you. If you make a grand entrance declaring, “I’m here you lucky people, love me!” then this book is for you. Either way, any chance for real relationship is lost. You just can’t relate with people when you are focused on your perceived reflection in their eyes. You are loved. The practical guidance in these pages will help you live in the reality that you are loved. You developed an image of yourself that is based on lies. That is why most people believe they can never measure up. Confronting and exposing these lies will bring freedom to live in the grace that renders self-doubt irrelevant.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherScott Ellis
    Release dateSep 2, 2016
    ISBN9781370591404
    Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth
    Author

    Scott Ellis

    Scott Ellis is an independent consultant based in Chicago.

    Read more from Scott Ellis

    Related to Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth

    Related ebooks

    Christianity For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      A Gentle Reminder

      Aug 31, 2022

      A Gentle Reminder
      1 min read

    • Article

      True Love Means Loving Yourself

      Sep 26, 2016

      True Love Means Loving Yourself
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Power Of Self Love

      May 10, 2019

      The Power Of Self Love
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Abundance Mindset

      Jan 6, 2021

      The Abundance Mindset
      5 min read

    • Article

      DROP THE baggage

      Jul 5, 2022

      DROP THE baggage
      5 min read

    • Article

      I Am Enough

      Dec 28, 2023

      I Am Enough
      3 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas…

      Jul 29, 2021

      Sue Tappenden is a Coach and People Expert who helps her clients improve their relationship with themselves and others. (headspacefor change.com) Q I’m 41 and don’t have any close friends. Makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me–and with r

      2 min read

    • Article

      Q&A

      Oct 27, 2023

      We are delighted to welcome our new agony aunt, Dr Martha Deiros Collado. She is a psychologist with more than 20 years of clinical and academic experience, and is the author of How To Be The Grown-Up (Transworld, £16.99) Got a question for Dr Marth

      4 min read

    • Article

      Think Positive!

      Jun 16, 2021

      Think Positive!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Find Your Power Story

      Jan 15, 2023

      Find Your Power Story
      7 min read

    • Article

      ¡hola Papi!

      Jul 23, 2019

      ¡hola Papi!
      2 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas…

      Jul 30, 2020

      Cathy Wassell is a business coach and owner of Socially Contented. She’s also an autism advocate and the founder of Teen Calm, a subscription box for anxious teens (teencalm.co.uk). Q Can a relationship ever work if our parents don’t get on? Our sepa

      3 min read

    • Article

      How To Be FLAWSOME

      May 12, 2021

      Being flawsome is not just making peace with your flaws; it’s knowing that without them, you would not be you. It goes beyond surrendering to your flaws; it means owning them, understanding them and knowing that admitting them gives you your power. I

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Compassion Cure

      Oct 10, 2018

      The Compassion Cure
      7 min read

    • Article

      Communicating With Empathy

      Nov 23, 2022

      Communicating With Empathy
      7 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Getting Over You, Learn to Love Yourself and the Truth - Scott Ellis

      cover.jpgimg1.jpg

      Contents

      1        How to use this book

      2        It’s Not Your Story

      3        How Do You Like Me Now

      4        I Was a Narcissistic Toddler

      5        Blaming Grandpa

      6        Economics

      7        Starving for Acceptance

      8        Finding Identity in Idols

      9        I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK

      10      Getting Over Me

      11      Whose Power & Will Changes Us?

      12      Responding to Grace

      13      Yeahbut

      14      God’s View of You

      15      Contraconditional Love

      16      The Truth is a Person

      17      Trading Lies

      18      No Safety in Numbers

      19      Living in Truth

      Glossary

      Getting Over You

      Think of this little book as a letter written to you and for you. I’ve worked to communicate the truth of scripture and the wisdom of experience in a way that cuts through the hurt and long held beliefs that imprison.

      The lessons I’ve learned (so far) have come from experience overcoming my own jailer beliefs, discussion with my mentors, and counseling others as they find their way out.

      Much of the material here was previously published on the blog What Do You Know for Sure? New material has also been added, not only for continuity, but to complete the escape plan.

      I’ve included a good deal of the biblical truth and advice as well as bits of poetry, songs, and memories that restate a truth in an evocative way. I’ve also included the prose of others that could not be improved upon. The most confrontational for me was the excerpt from Mere Christianity on the facing page.

      Harsh reality delivered lovingly; a worthy model.

      Scott Ellis, California 2015

      img2.jpgimg3.jpg

      If only I knew then what I know now. I really do wish I could have learned these lessons in my twenties and avoided much of the pain I have given and received in the course of learning them the hard way. The problem is that no easy way exists. I am writing this to speed your journey. To accomplish that, I hope my words will find you in a teachable moment and that they will ease your way.

      In a sense I believe my If Only to be a ridiculous and wishful statement because it assumes the information was unavailable to me in my twenties, and what I lacked was information rather than the humility to apply it. Now having begun the argument that it is impossible to learn from someone else’s experience, if you still want to read a book by a skeptical rescue human I have a few suggestions for how to get the most growth for time invested.

      First, I invite you to read this any way you like. You know better than I how you take in information and play with it before choosing what you will apply. So if you would follow the development of the argument for truth that I have built chapter by chapter, then feel free to approach it that way. If you would rather jump around a book the way I often do, by first going to the chapters where my big questions are addressed, then I invite you to do that. I have provided a description of the main points in each section below.

      Your first pass at this may be to read the book alone to see if it speaks to you in a way that will provide some insight or guidance. I have also included questions that may be used in personal contemplation or in group discussion. Reading and discussing a section at a time may be the best way to play with the concepts, and have our own beliefs challenged to the point that we will entertain the idea of applying the truth and dismissing lies that have held us back.

      If you decide to use this guide to walk through redemption of your self-love then you may do the workouts and use the Getting Over You worksheet to track your detective work and begin to believe and act on the truth. There is a workout at the end of section 5 regarding the our perspective and how it may be blurred. There is another at the end of section 6 about what makes you feel like you measure up. There is an interview guide in section 8 that will help you gather feedback from those who know you well. Finally there is a Getting Over You Worksheet on the final pages. The worksheet will be a place to gather all your clues and insights as you make a plan to better live out the truth about you.

      Whether or not you work though this with a group, I encourage you to write down your thoughts as you go. If you are using a digital version of the book I encourage you to print it out and write your reactions, objections, etc. in the margins. Don’t worry about printing a copy as paper is a truly renewable resource from an industry that plants three trees for every one tree harvested. I encourage you to write your notes by hand because this method has been shown to engage the brain more fully. If you go further to discuss the concepts with others you may not be able to avoid life-changing-changes in what you believe about yourself.

      This is a critical conversation between you and the truth. You can disagree with me all you like (as you will see I disagree with myself with great frequency), but I am attempting to engage you in conversation with the creator. That conversation will shape your very long future.

      The descriptions below are intended to help you keep things in context. I understand that the logical building blocks way I have ordered these sections may leave you with questions or in need of a road sign. I often find comfort in referring to a map or other references that help keep me oriented.

      1. It’s not your story

      If we are to know the truth and see ourselves as God does then we must look into his record of revealed truth, the Bible. It is the story of his loving action, he is the hero.

      2. How do you like me now?

      We love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and that is the problem.

      3. I was a narcissistic toddler

      We are all born selfish. The gospel is that I get to set aside my self-centered self-rule and submit to the direct guidance and protection of the all-giving God.

      4. Blaming Grandpa

      We can learn from the context of our past to see the generational patterns of behavior, and then begin to intentionally change that behavior.

      5. Economics

      Early in life we develop an economy of earning our value. The currency we choose to trade in varies but is most often based on lies and misperceptions of the truth.

      6. Starving for acceptance

      This section explores many of the various currencies we adopt to earn our value.

      7. Finding identity in idols

      We are born worshippers. When we know what triggers self doubt and feelings of rejection we may identify our object of worship. This chapter develops the idea of the information filter, and our attached hopes, expectations, and infatuations.

      8. I’m not OK, you’re not OK

      The power of attraction to favored sins and the fact that grace is our only hope of escaping their orbit.

      9. Getting over me

      Practice believing the scriptures that speak to God’s view of you.

      10. Yeahbut

      A yeahbut stops my brain from progressing until I can find its answer. These are a few of the near truths that

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1