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    Everything is Better with a Gorilla
    Everything is Better with a Gorilla
    Everything is Better with a Gorilla
    Ebook119 pages43 minutes

    Everything is Better with a Gorilla

    By Andrew Gall and Vince Soliven

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Being best buds with a great ape is basically the most awesome thing in the entire world. They're excellent wingmen. They're accomplished bargain hunters. And their impressive dexterity makes them the perfect ping-pong partners.

    The perks are pretty much endless.

    Whether you need a hand organizing an Olympic-caliber bobsled team or fancy a leisurely stroll, a Gorilla is the ideal companion for whatever it is you're game to do. And the guidance they give is the absolute tops. Gorillas know the dish on the hippest eateries around and provide financial advice that's unbelievably sound (as they hold true to a "don't spend what you don't have" policy).

    Everything Is Better with a Gorilla because, well, it just is.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster
    Release dateJun 18, 2010
    ISBN9781440507199
    Everything is Better with a Gorilla
    Author

    Andrew Gall

    An Adams Media author.

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      Book preview

      Everything is Better with a Gorilla - Andrew Gall

      Everything Is Better with a Gorilla.

      It's a simple statement, but it's indisputably true. Involving a Gorilla in pretty much every life situation will lead to good things. The pages of this book explore some of the millions of examples in which the inclusion of a Gorilla can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.

      Whether you're preparing to plan a wedding, organize an Olympic-caliber bobsled team, or anything in between, it's our hope that the lessons learned from this book will come in handy the next time you consider adding a Gorilla to the mix.

      Don't say you've never thought about it.

      illustration

      Washing Dishes with a Gorilla

      washing dishes by yourself is no fun. Washing dishes with a Gorilla, however, is. Whenever the opportunity arises, you should wash dishes with a Gorilla.

      Though Gorillas are large in stature, their demeanor is actually quite gentle, and despite their immensely powerful strength, they almost never break a dish. They also have a strong incentive to make your dishware spotlessly clean: Gorillas really enjoy looking at their reflections whenever possible.

      Which Gorillas make the best dishwashing partners? Glad you asked.

      Of all Gorilla species, Mountain Gorillas are the fuzziest. They grow especially thick coats due to the chilly high altitudes of their mountainous habitats. Their fuzziness enables you and your Gorilla to wash and dry sans dishtowels, as the Gorilla will just run the dishes across his massive body. You wash. The Gorilla dries. It's amazingly effective.

      Wash dishes with a Gorilla by your side and you're doing the entire household a favor.

      illustration

      Inviting a Gorilla to Your House for a Sleepover

      illustration

      despite your misgivings, you are never too old to have a sleepover. Especially when your guest weighs 400 pounds, walks on his knuckles, and is God's best creation of all time.

      Gorillas are a ton of fun at sleepovers. They bring their favorite movies, their favorite blankets, and popcorn. Lots of popcorn. But the best thing (out of roughly 2,000 absolutely fantastic things) about having Gorillas sleep over is their self-sufficiency. In the wild, Gorillas build and sleep in night nests — a collection of leaves, branches, and thicket made into comfortable bedding, which they will sleep in for hours on end. Sleeping for hours on end is something Gorillas are extremely good at.

      Letting a Gorilla spend the night is the perfect opportunity to have lots of one-on-one time — you can talk for hours and hours about your thoughts, fears, and wishes. Just know that at some point, the conversation will inevitably veer toward plants.

      A Gorilla guest will treat your abode with the utmost respect and tender care, just like it's his very own night nest. Gorillas wash their own dishes, brew a morning pot of coffee, and will even grab the morning paper for you on their way out the next day.

      Invite a Gorilla to sleep over. Your heart and soul won't soon regret it.

      illustration

      Taking a Walk with a Gorilla

      gorillas love going on interesting walks. In fact, they spend the majority of their day strolling around in search of food. Think getting some fresh air is stimulating now? Just wait until you've got a 400-pound barrel of amazing by your side.

      If you are concerned you won't be able to keep up with a Gorilla, you can take comfort in knowing that Gorilla walks tend to involve nearly as much resting as they do walking. Gorillas in the wild tend to rest

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