Forever is Hers

How long is this going to take?

I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice, I truly do, but seriously, how much longer do I have to endure this incompetent girl trying to finish my mascara.

I’m so sorry Ms Rose, she says as her hand starts to shake.

I know I sound like the diva that they all think I am, but I can’t handle incompetence. I expect the best in every situation, especially at work, and this girl is not the best.

Give me the wand, I say, holding my hand out for it.

She hands it over and drops her gaze. If she cries, I may just go mental.

I can do this myself. It’s easier to put mascara on yourself, rather than have someone else do it. I force a smile to let her know that I’m not the bitch she thinks I am and she gives me a small lopsided grin.

Thanks Ms Rose.

She scuttles off in the direction of the set, taking her supplies with her and most probably thankful to be rid of me.

With a deep sigh I brush the wand over my lashes, top and bottom and ensure that I coat every last inch of them before screwing it back into the bottle.

They’re ready for you Ms Rose.

I nod to the assistant that I can see through the mirror and step down from the chair, smoothing my hands over the tight black dress they’ve put me in.

The girl staring back at me is beautiful.

I know how vain that sounds, but hey, I’m an actress. If we don’t have self-confidence we don’t last in this game. I use the things that I have to boost my stardom, and my looks and confidence are my number one draw-card.

My blonde hair is long, thick, curled within an inch of it’s life, and hangs down my back. Every guy’s fantasy. My legs are long, my tan is golden and my curves are all in the right places thanks to a gruelling work-out routine courtesy of my asshole trainer – Jordie.

I’m at the top of my game, a true Hollywood star, living the dream life that I always imagined for myself.

I strut through the doors of the set and stop as I see Christian.

Christian Adams – my best friend.

Although I don’t know when that happened.

I haven’t had many friends throughout my life. Acquaintances, yes, true friendships, no. When you grow up as the child of a Hollywood star, it’s always hard to tell who wants to know you for you and who wants to meet your famous dad. In most cases for me, it was the latter.

I don’t trust easily, and I do admit to having a bit of a diva-esque attitude, although I would deny that if anyone asked. Those traits in combination mean that people tend to steer clear, give me a wide berth, lest they encounter the temper of Madeline Rose.

But Christian sees through all that. He’s the most normal person I have ever met. From me, that’s a huge compliment. He doesn’t give a shit that I’m Madeline Rose, Hollywood star, he just sees me as Maddie, his friend, the person he hangs out with.

No one has ever wanted to hang out with me before, so that makes Christian special in my book, like I said, he’s my best friend.

As my best friend, that makes him untouchable. If anyone so much as insults or bad-mouths him, I will let loose and it won’t be pretty.

The best part is that he has been hired to put together the behind-the-scenes doco as we film the third movie of our Forever series - Forever is Ours.

That means I get to see him every day, and despite the fact that my brother Ethan stars in the movie, and his wife Ava works as PA to Olivia, my other co-star, it’s the first time that I really feel like I have an ally on set. Someone who has my back, no questions asked, and someone that makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before.

Security - like I belong here, like I’m not just the star of a movie, but a part of the overall process.

He looks up from the sheet in his hand and smiles at me as he walks over.

Hey, he says, his deep green eyes looking over my face. You look pretty.

That’s something else I love about him. He calls me pretty or cute, not stunning or breathtaking, all those fake words that other people usually use around me. When Christian calls me pretty, it makes me feel special, like I’m not just a pay-check for the movie producers and production company.

Thanks, I say with a shrug, still getting used to the way his compliments make me feel.

You ready for your first day on set?

I nod, feeling excitement and anxiety rush through my veins. The first day is always the toughest, but today all my scenes are with my brother, so I guess I’m lucky I have family on my side.

Christian runs his hand down my arm, goose-bumps following it’s path, and leans in to place a kiss to my cheek.

He smells all woodsy, like after-shave and peppermint, and his light stubble tickles my cheek.

You’re gonna kill it Maddie.

Thanks, I say, feeling like my equilibrium has shifted slightly. The confident, in-charge Madeline Rose isn’t here right now. I’m just his friend Maddie, the one who watches movies on the sofa while he eats popcorn, the one who likes to sing the songs as we watch re-runs of old Disney movies, the one who thinks that Christian Adams is the best thing in her world.

With that realisation, my heart swells and suddenly the calm confident feeling that usually surrounds me is replaced with fear of the unknown, fear of my life without him in it.

Hey, you okay? he says, taking in the frown between my brows.

I fix my face, like the accomplished actress that I am, and smile at him, exposing the perfectly white, orthodontically-enhanced teeth that are insured for a million bucks.

I’m perfect, I say, ignoring the strange clawing sensation in my chest.

Good, he says, cocking his head towards the set, they’re calling for you.

I turn my gaze towards the set and take a step, making my way to Ethan.

Before I move too far away, I turn back to Christian, You’ll be here when I’m done?

He smiles crookedly and nods, I’m not going anywhere Maddie, I’ll be right here waiting for you.

I’m not going anywhere Maddie, I’ll be right here waiting for you.

For someone with abandonment issues like me - and don’t even get me started on those right now - they are probably the most encouraging words I can hear.

I’ll be right here waiting for you.

I feel the smile on my face widen as I push back my shoulders and shift personas, so that Madeline Rose - actress is the one taking the stage. Ethan smiles at me as I take my place on set with him, waiting for direction.

But before I get into it completely, I look past the camera to make sure that Christian is still there, keeping his promise - I’ll be right here waiting for you.

As his smile finds mine he winks and I feel it in my tummy, butterflies are swarming and for the first time ever, I don’t know what’s going on with me.

Maybe I’m coming down with something; maybe, it’s just first-day nerves. Although I’ve never experienced those before.

You ready to do this Sis? Ethan says, drawing my attention back to him.

I nod and take my place, scanning the script to double-check my lines, but I don’t take anything in. My mind is scrambled and my heart is pounding.

My eyes scan for Christian and he is still there, staring at me with concern. I give him a smile and his eyes soften. He mouths, You got this.

I nod and take a deep breath. I’ve got this.

Of course I have, I’m Madeline-fuckin’-Rose, I’ve done this millions of times, I’m a seasoned professional and nothing can pull my focus when I’m on set and in the zone.

So why do my eyes keep scanning the room to make sure that Christian Adams is still there?

What are you looking for Madeline?

Nothing, I reply, searching through my bag for the gold ring that my dad gave me for my sixteenth birthday.

A light sweat breaks out over my forehead and I start to feel slightly sick. That ring means more to me than anything and if I’ve lost it…

Can I help you look for whatever it is you’ve lost?

I shake my head, starting to get a little frantic. No Mel, it’s okay, you go and grab some lunch. I stand to make my way over to the counter where my make-up is lined up with precision and search amongst the bottles to see if my ring is there. Maybe I took it off to put on some hand lotion.

Mel, my PA says, Okay, I’ll be back in a bit, and turns to leave the room.

Once she’s gone I take a deep breath through my nose and blow it out through my mouth, trying to calm my nerves and remember what the fuck I’ve done with my ring. I turn to head into the bathroom that adjoins my dressing room just as Christian fills my doorway.

Hey, he says with that signature smile as he crosses one leg over the other and leans against the doorjamb.

Hey, I respond, slightly distracted.

His eyebrows pull together and he strides over, filling up the room with his presence.

What’s up? he asks.

I love the way he knows me. I’ve never had anyone read me as well as he does.

I can’t find my ring…

The one your Dad gave you?

I nod.

Where did you have it last?

If I knew that, it wouldn’t be lost would it Chris?

He smiles and runs his hand down my arm. Calm down Maddie, we’ll find it.

I don’t let many people call me Maddie. In truth I don’t really like it, but when Christian says it, it makes my insides warm up, like the word is intimate, something that’s just between us.

Chris moves past me and heads into the bathroom. He emerges with a cocky grin, my ring resting over his pinky. Is this what you’re looking for?

I take it from him and place it safely over the knuckle of my right ring finger. What would I do without you Chris?

I kiss his cheek and try not to linger too long as I take in his scent.

You’ll never have to find out, he says, you’re stuck with me Ms Rose.

I link my hand through his arm. I’m buying you lunch for that.

Deal, he says as we head towards the cafeteria.

How did you find the first morning? I ask.

I got heaps of notes, he says, I think I’m gonna’ love being part of this process. It’s fascinating.

His enthusiasm is infectious and I find myself smiling at him, suddenly feeling excited about the fact that we are filming movie number three in the Forever series.

I’ve been involved in many films and productions over the years and these movies have been the most enjoyable that I have ever taken part in. I’m not sure whether that has something to do with the fact that my brother and his wife are part of the process. But for the first time, I feel like I’m not the Madeline Rose, that everyone steers clear of. People actually want to talk to me, they aren’t afraid to approach me and some of that tough exterior that I built as I grew up is slowly melting away.

We enter the café and Ava waves at us to join them.

We head to the table and I give my sister-in-law a kiss on the cheek as she stands to say Hi.

It’s great to have you working on this one with us Christian, Ava says, have you met Josh?

Josh stands and extends his hand. Nice to meet you man, I’m Ethan’s PA.

I’ve heard all about you Josh, these guys sing your praises nonstop.

Josh blushes and takes his seat next to Ava, his ever-present ipad in front of him.

Ethan comes to the table carrying a tray laiden with hot drinks and sandwiches. Can I go grab you guys anything Sis?

I’ll do it, Christian says. Black coffee for you Maddie? Do you want one of those green salads that you like?

I nod and watch as he heads to the counter, pulling his wallet from his jeans.

I lower myself into a seat next to my brother who is staring at me, one eyebrow raised.

What? I ask.

Nothing, he says, giving Ava a smile over the table before picking up his tea.

Do you have something you want to say to me Ethan?

Not at all, he replies before taking a sip.

We sit in silence until Christian returns and hands me my lunch. He sits on the other side of me and opens a take-out container filled with some sort of creamy pasta dish. I look at it longingly wishing I could have something like that, but knowing the effect it will have on my figure. Not to mention how many squats Jordie would make me do to get the calories off.

He twirls his fork and brings it to his lips before looking to me. You want some?

I shake my head and smile before looking down at the lettuce lunch I have in front of me. I fork some up and chew it slowly, trying to find some enthusiasm for the salad that I eat on a daily basis during filming.

You know Maddie, you could eat anything and still look amazing, Christian says as he takes another mouthful of his pasta.

Not during filming I can’t.

You are way too hard on yourself, you’re gorgeous just as you are.

His words fill me with sunshine and I look up to see Ava and Ethan smiling at me.

I nudge Chris and he smiles before returning his attention to his food.

Are you heading to Mom’s for dinner tonight? Ethan asks, turning my attention to him.

I am.

Are you coming too Christian?

I give Ethan a dirty look. Chris doesn’t want to be subjected to another Drake family dinner, I say.

Sure he does, Ethan says, the last one was sooo much fun.

Christian laughs and Ethan rolls his eyes.

Last time we all met for dinner, our darling mother decided to have a few cocktails before we got there. She gave an excellent performance during dinner, breaking into show tunes before our dad decided enough was enough and marched her to bed.

I’d love to Ethan, but I’m actually staying in to spend time with Liv and Gray tonight. Jax has been asking for Uncle Chris.

Well that sounds much more interesting than our evening is going to be, Ethan says. I may just call past Liv and Gray’s on the way home.

Sounds great, Christian says. Why don’t you come by too Maddie. That way I can drive you back to your place.

I’ve recently moved into a gorgeous home in the Hollywood Hills. It’s not far from Ethan and Ava, Grayson and Olivia, and still close to my father’s home, where I have lived all my life. It was time to move out. Dad needs his space and so do I. Our relationship is rock solid, and the fact that I don’t live with him anymore doesn’t change that. I owe that man my life. He raised me, gave me everything I ever wanted, and provided so much love that I felt secure and wanted, despite the fact that I had no maternal figure.

He was both to me.

Why would you want to do that Christian? You’ll already be home; you don’t want to head out to drive me to mine.

You know I would do anything for you Maddie, I don’t mind.

This boy is too good to be true. No wonder I’ve claimed him as my best friend. I don’t want to share him with anyone, and for that reason I feel insanely possessive of him.

Weird I know, but I can’t help it.

Be careful Christian, Ethan says, Madeline will get used to you waiting on her hand and foot. Then you’ll be in real trouble.

What’s that supposed to mean? I ask feigning insult.

Ethan chuckles, Relax Sis, I’m just messing with you.

I don’t mind looking out for her Ethan, she’s my best friend.

He gives me a sweet smile and returns his attention to his food.

His words make me feel all gooey, all lit up inside, warm and tingly.

Best friends.

I’ve never had anyone call me their best friend. I value that so very much.

For that reason I am determined not to mess this up.

Diva Madeline needs to take a hike.

Where Christian Adams is concerned, I’m going to be very careful to do the right thing. To be the best friend that he deserves. To give him as much time as he gives me.

To give a shit about someone other than myself.

To not mess this up.

Why the hell is he doing that? I ask as I watch Jax bum-shuffle across the floor.

It’s his new way of getting around, Liv says. It won’t be long before he’s up and walking.

How are you feeling Liv?

Good. Tired though. It’s different being pregnant and running around after this little one. Everything’s going well though, and that’s the most important thing.

Jax picks up one of his many trains and starts to bang it on the floor near my foot. I move off the sofa and sit beside the track, watching as he scans the trains to find one to give me to play with.

You want a drink Bro?

I’ll take a beer thanks.

Gray heads to the wet bar and bends to grab our drinks from the mini fridge. He comes back and hands Liv a soda, dropping a kiss to the top of her head before handing me a bottle.

How was the first day of filming? he asks.

I had solo scenes today, Liv answers, I didn’t get a chance to even come to the sound stage to say Hi to you Christian.

I loved it, everything was so interesting. I got some great stuff down today. I think I’m going to enjoy being a part of it. I reply.

Well I have scenes with Ethan and Madeline tomorrow, so I’ll definitely see you. Liv says.

I think Ethan and Ava are going to try and call past later with Maddie.

Liv smiles as she bends to pick Jax up and kisses his chubby cheek. Say night night, she says to him.

Nye, Nye, he copies as Liv bends so I can give him a kiss.

Night buddy, I say.

Gray takes him from Liv and covers his face in kisses, which causes him to giggle hysterically.

Don’t work him up before bed babe, Liv admonishes.

Gray gives her a wink as he hands Jax back to her and then comes to sit by me on the sofa.

It’s great having you here Chris.

You sure I’m not cramping your style?

Gray laughs. Have you seen the size of this place? We could all go days without seeing one another if we wanted to. Liv and I love having family here. You can stay as long as you want.

I clink my bottle against his.

I spoke to Will today and his sister Maya is coming into town next week…

No Gray…

He laughs and holds his hands up. It’s just dinner Chris, come on, she’s a sweetie and she likes you. You need to get laid.

I give him a dirty look for that comment. I took her out for you guys last time she was here. She’s nice but I’m not interested in her.

"Why not? What’s stopping you? You don’t date; you just spend all your spare time with Madeline. Ohhh…"

"What do you mean Ohhh?"

You’re interested in her.

No Gray, I’m not, she’s my friend. I look out for her, I like spending time with her. She’s not like anyone else.

You got that right; she’s kind of a bitch Chris.

I give Grayson a wide-eyed stare. Don’t say that Bro, you know she’s not like that anymore. She’s been through a lot with her upbringing and her family. That’s bound to shape you in a fucked-up sort of way.

Just think about taking Maya out to dinner okay. She’s a nice girl.

And I don’t want to lead her on.

You can just take her out as a friend.

Leave it Gray, I don’t need you setting me up on dates. I can do that myself.

I just don’t want you to follow Madeline around until she’s ready to move on to the next victim. I’m looking out for you Chris.

I can handle myself. I’m big enough and ugly enough to take on anything that Madeline throws my way.

Okay, Gray says. But know that I’m keeping an eye on you from the sidelines. I’ve known Madeline for a long time, and despite the fact that she is my best friend’s sister, she is still a bitch. You don’t lose those tendencies overnight.

I hate the fact that Gray talks about Madeline like that, but I can’t argue with him. The truth is that Madeline has been very difficult in the past and most people give her a wide berth because they’re scared to get in her way.

I’m determined to bring out the best in her. To let everyone see the amazing girl that I see. She is compassionate and kind, fiercely loyal and would do anything I fucking ask of her.

I appreciate my brother looking out for me. We all do it. Grayson, Sienna and I are very close and would do anything for one another. But sometimes you need to follow your gut. Do what everyone is telling you not to do.

Follow the path that is put before you, because deep down you know that the rewards of taking that road will far outweigh the hard times.

Mom will you please stop jiggling Grace around like that, she’ll throw up.

Oh please Ethan, do you think I don’t know how to look after a baby. You survived didn’t you?

Ethan screws his face up, holding back the words that I know he wants to say. Nanny Grace brought Ethan up, not our mother, I doubt she spent one tenth of the time with Ethan that she spends with baby Grace. I know that we should all be grateful that she is trying to mend her ways, and make up for lost time, but there are still times that it hurts. It hurts Ethan that she was such a distant parent and it hurts me that she could hand me over to my father and walk away from me without so much as a look back.

I’ll take her Elizabeth, I need to feed her anyway. Ava holds her hands out for her daughter, but our mother won’t have it.

I’ll feed her Ava, go warm the bottle for me.

Ava gives Ethan a small smile and moves to the kitchen to grab the milk for Grace.

How is everything with you Princess? Dad asks me, bringing the attention off our mother.

Great, filming commenced again today so we’re right back into the swing of things.

When are you going to bring home a nice boy for dinner? Mom interrupts.

I roll my eyes and lift my wine glass to take a sip. I’m not interested in bringing home a nice boy Mom, I’m enjoying being single too much.

You need to hook them while you’re young darling, while your body is in top form and your looks are in place.

"Elizabeth! Dad says. Don’t say things like that. Madeline is gorgeous and the right boy will come along when the time is right."

Marrying well can make a big difference in this Industry. She lowers her voice, God knows I tried to tell Ethan that but he didn’t listen to me did he?

"Elizabeth, that’s enough! Dad says as Ava comes back into the room. Dad whispers, You’re lucky Ethan didn’t hear you say that."

Mom shrugs and puts her well-manicured