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    Fresh Start: The Step-by-Step Journey to Rebuild and Renew Your Life
    Fresh Start: The Step-by-Step Journey to Rebuild and Renew Your Life
    Fresh Start: The Step-by-Step Journey to Rebuild and Renew Your Life
    Ebook157 pages2 hours

    Fresh Start: The Step-by-Step Journey to Rebuild and Renew Your Life

    By Vivian Jokotade

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    About this ebook

    A Fresh Start is Possible, You Only Need to Know How
    Could you use a fresh start in your finances, your career, your business, your marriage, your relationships, your family, your habits or your health? An early step towards a fresh start is identifying that specific area. Once you’ve identified that area, the next question you may have is, “How?” 

    In Fresh Start, Jokotade teaches that a fresh start is more than a sudden occurrence, and more than a wish. A fresh start is a process. A fresh start is a journey - a journey that requires a plan.

    Through stories from her life and the experiences of others, Jokotade provides you a compelling, easy to follow guide with steps to consider on your journey beginning right where you are.

    Discover the 5 Essential principles you need to get back on track and move forward. You'll be inspired to dream and reach for the life you were born to live. The reality is none of us got to choose how we were born or even the names we were given at birth, but we can choose how we end. 

    You no longer have to guess, wish and hope with no success. You can make a fresh start. You only need to know how.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherVivian Jade
    Release dateApr 26, 2016
    ISBN9781519958563
    Fresh Start: The Step-by-Step Journey to Rebuild and Renew Your Life

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      Book preview

      Fresh Start - Vivian Jokotade

      PART ONE

      What You Have

      When I consider my story,

      I am grateful.

      When I recall my dreams,

      I am hopeful.

      1

      Your Dream

      The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

      –ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

      From her early childhood, Bethany dreamt of becoming a professional surfer. For Bethany, it was more than a dream; her life revolved around those plans. Bethany was born into a family of surfers and had learned to surf with her mother and father by the age of five. At age eight, she began competing, earning her first major surf sponsorship by the age of nine. By age twelve, Bethany moved up in her rankings as an amateur surfer, placing high and winning many surfing events. Her winning streak continued through her childhood, and she was definitely on track to fulfill her dreams.

      But on the morning of October 31, 2003, at the age of thirteen, disaster struck when Bethany went out to surf with friends. Bethany’s left arm was severed by a 14-foot tiger shark. After undergoing surgery, amputating her arm to her shoulder, Bethany was discharged and released to go back home – home to a new way of life with only one arm.

      Determined to return to her dream of surfing professionally, Bethany did not give up. She returned to surfing in November 26, 2003, only one month after the shark attack. Bethany went on to win the Explorer Women’s Division Championship at the 2005 National Scholastic Surfing Association (NSSA). In 2007, Bethany realized her dream of surfing professionally and by 2008, she began traveling around the world training and competing full-time on the Pro Surfing circuit. Since her shark accident, her story has been told in a personal documentary, Heart of a Soul Surfer, reaching international film festivals around the world; a best-selling autobiography; and the 2011 film, Soul Surfer, which went on to receive several international awards.

      Bethany did not allow the loss of her arm to keep her from reaching for her surfing dreams. Her choice to make a fresh start and move forward with a single arm is now a source of inspiration and hope to millions of people all over the world. In 2013, Bethany also found love and got married. In 2015, she and her husband, Adam Dirks, welcomed their first baby, Tobias. Bethany now lives as a wife, mother, professional surfer, author, and motivational speaker.¹

      A Dream That Inspires

      I began this book with Bethany’s story because Bethany’s story inspired me, and I want you to be inspired by her story too. You see, Bethany’s story shook me to my core. Her courage to move forward even when her life wasn’t going as planned encouraged me. Her story made me see that I am not alone in the many difficult circumstances and challenges life has brought my way.

      Like Bethany, I have a dream – a dream of living my full potential, a dream of doing more and becoming more, a dream of overcoming my poor life habits, a dream of touching many lives, a dream of leaving a lasting legacy, a dream of living the life I was born to live. The only problem is, living this dream hasn’t come easy. I have endured hardships, faced challenges, and climbed over road bumps to overcome major obstacles along the way – all of which have threatened my dream.

      So Many Questions, So Few Answers

      As I read Bethany’s story, I imagined the numerous thoughts that may have gone through Bethany’s mind as she watched her arm bleed away. I imagined her fears and anxiety, many of which you and I can relate to – How will I look with just one arm? Who will marry me? Will I ever have my own children? What kind of job will I do? Will I ever recover from this?

      The life challenges I, too, have faced have caused me to quietly ask myself many questions, including:

      How do I put the pieces of my life together after a devastating loss?

      Where do I begin when I feel I have failed?

      How can I fill the void of all that is lacking and missing in my life?

      How can I move forward with my life despite my past?

      Who will understand me and not judge me?

      What will people think of me?

      Who can I talk to?

      Where do I go from here?

      The Quiet Struggle

      For many years, I struggled to find answers to these questions. For most of those years, I struggled secretly with worry, confusion, anxiety, disappointment, exhaustion, bitterness, low self-esteem, and emotional imbalance. This book is a result of my personal journey to find my way, rebuild my life, get back on track, and move forward.

      I had somehow lost myself to life and all of its challenges. As a wife, mom, entrepreneur, and leader with too many hats and balls to even mention now, I became a woman who stopped investing in her own dreams. Life had happened, and I lost all maps providing any form of direction and plan for my future. I desired the opportunity to simply start over and leave my struggles behind. It was time. Time to make a fresh start.

      A Fresh Start

      As you may have gathered, I have had to make many fresh starts. I want to share a few of my fresh starts with you, but let me begin with how I even got here – it’s a quick story of my birth.

      I am an answer to a prayer for a fresh start. You see, I was born to my parents after the tragic loss of their first child in a terrible car accident. My mom, her sister, and a few family members had set out to visit their hometown for a family ceremony. They were driving in two separate cars behind one another. As my mom recalls the story, they had stopped for a break because my sister insisted on riding with her brand new baby cousin in the car following behind. This was the onset of my mother’s worst nightmare.

      After the break, those in the first car continued on the journey for about fifteen minutes when they noticed the second car was no longer following. They turned around only to find a horrific accident scene – an 18-wheeler vehicle had run over the second car, pushing that car into a ditch and crushing all six passengers – including my sister, my aunt’s new baby, my second aunt (my mom’s younger sister), the nanny, my aunt’s brother-in-law, and the driver. My mom described how they tried to retrieve their bodies, but couldn’t.

      This was in the late seventies in Nigeria when accident response teams did not exist like they do today. My mom could only touch what she believed was my sister’s leg – my sister had choked to death. She was four years old. This accident changed the lives of six families – my entire immediate and extended family was devastated. My mom, who was 32 years old and only four years into her marriage, chose to dream again by trying for another baby. I was born a year later.

      The story of my birth was indeed a fresh start for my mom and for me – my arrival into her arms was a dream come true.

      This explains the reason for my name, Jokotade. The name Jokotade (pronounced JOE-KOH-TAH-DAY) is a Nigerian-Yoruba name given to a child whose parents suffered the loss of a child prior to the birth of the named. Its literal meaning is sit with the crown or sit with royalty, signifying that this child will not die but will stay and live with her parents and family. This powerful name was concurrently given by both of my grandmothers at a traditional Nigerian naming ceremony.² My first name, Vivian, which means full of life, alive or lively, was chosen by my mom.

      I use the name Jokotade here because it is a very significant and purposeful name. The name tells a story of my origin, gives insight into my identity, and speaks powerfully to my destiny.

      Fast forward to my teenage years. When my family moved away from my place of birth – Lagos, Nigeria – I had to make a fresh start. When I had to leave all of my academic and social achievements behind to start all over in the United States at the age of seventeen, I had to make a fresh start. When I had to continue my education in a foreign country, I had to make a fresh start.

      Then in my adulthood, when I got passed up for promotions and career advancements at work, I had to make a fresh start. When I got laid off from my dream job, I had to make a fresh start. When I had to walk away from

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