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    Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha: The Krax Chronickles, #1
    Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha: The Krax Chronickles, #1
    Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha: The Krax Chronickles, #1
    Ebook42 pages31 minutes

    Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha: The Krax Chronickles, #1

    By Wyff Byffledoop

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    About this ebook

    A Sci-Fi Serial (Seriously): Volume 1, Installment 1

    Herein lies a paltry attempt at humor, centering around a minor disturbance in the outer rim of a forgotten galaxy, which requires the attention of a certain intergalactic swashbuckler named Krax Kraxstofferson.

    The reader may find this opus to be highly derivative, and entirely unfunny, though it is intended to be neither. In that case, I say good. You probably didn't pay anything to read this novel and therefore are guilty of keeping my children on public assistance. 

    Should you desire to read past this synopsis, you will find herein an attempted satire of various sci-fi tropes and mechanisms, as well as an unfettered outlet for someone with a genuinely grating sense of humor and generally poor taste in both simile and metaphor. Like or as if that is indeed possible, it will be duly noted by the reader that the author cannot actually define either literary term.

    Douglas Adams was likely a genius. I, most likely, am not. Nonetheless, I implore you, good space sailor, to read on. Iste mundus furibundus!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWyff Byffledoop
    Release dateMar 30, 2016
    ISBN9781524256968
    Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha: The Krax Chronickles, #1
    Author

    Wyff Byffledoop

    Wyff Byffledoop resides in Stratford-Upon-Ayrshire, where, when not writing antique appliance repair manuals, he tends his flock of goats and grows organic heirloom tomatoes. His interest in science fiction stems from a real-life alien encounter, which he'll tell you more about in the upcoming documentary Wyffed Away. Mr. Byffledoop lovers hearing from readers. Actually he is quite lonely and needs someone to talk to. In fact, please call now. If he's not in, leave a message. He'll return your call as soon as all the goats are accounted for.  

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      Book preview

      Major Space Dust-Up In Sector 687 Alpha - Wyff Byffledoop

      Scene 1: A lonely man on a lonely planet

      Krax Kraxstofferson, the only son of a one-eyed space sailor, emerged from his landing craft to survey his surroundings. His eyes traced the rugged landscape, climbing over far-off purple mountains that seemed to melt in to the horizon, seemingly impenetrable forest to his left, and scanning the barren mud flats where his ship rested. Krax gripped his unusually configured space phaser (read: lethal banana) in one hand, and in the other he held his advanced atmospheric and terrestrial scanning device (I’ll spare you the acronym). Scanning, scanning. Always with the scanning.

      This time, the scanner turned up nothing of interest: no life forms in the immediate area, no clouds of poisonous Arfalia gas, no dust storms, not even a three-legged blidget to be found. Unusual, thought Krax, for he had been dispatched here to settle a feud between two warring tribes: the Havens and the Havenottens. According to his maps, his landing zone should have placed him in the middle of Havens territory, yet he saw and scanned nothing. Obviously he would have to explore the surrounding areas for signs of life.

      The planet he was on, Felix 99, was near the center of Sector 687 Alpha, a remote corner of the galaxy renowned for the number of screw-ups who inhabited the place. So notorious was the reputation of this sector for idiocy that the Galactic Council routinely ignored disturbances here, hoping that by leaving them to sort it out for themselves, they might annihilate each other and stop draining the collective IQ of the galaxy. Not this time, however, as the distress signal from Felix 99 included a detailed map that indicated the presence of a large quantity of Humparium – a greasy, fairly non-homogenous substance that was vital for fueling spacecraft and, when slathered on the erogenous zones, produced a pleasant tingly sensation. In order to prevent the Humparium deposit from being destroyed by the warring tribes before the Galactic Council and their business associates could get their hands on it, Krax had been dispatched to quell the dispute.

      Krax whistled to his ship, which in response waggled its rear compartment like a dog might wag its tail, and spun out a small silvery disk. The disk levitated and silently drifted over to ankle level. He stepped on, and the disc took off, transporting him over the smooth terrain at an unreasonably high rate of speed.

      Scene 2: The Gates of Have-Not

      After some time passed, the purple mountains drew nearer, and evidence of a settlement became apparent on the horizon.

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