Forever On a Tree

ISBN: 978-1-4835643-3-3

Table of Contents

Part One— X&Y

Y1- Neither Here nor There

Y2- Tell Your God to Ready for Blood

Y3- Whoever Did This

Y4- Easy Come, Easy Go

Y5- Complications

Y6- Sine Qua Non

Y7- Such Sweet Sorrow

Y8- Whitecaps

Y9- Lay Down Your Burdens

Part Two— Waste

X1- Ex and the City

X2- Half Measures

X3- There’s More Than One of Everything

X4- Full Measure

X1

Ex and the City

Have you seen Miles? Mrs. Gordon asked Mikey impatiently.

Mikey pretended to think about the question. It wouldn’t have been a lie to simply say no—that may have been his brother having sex inside the clownhead, but it could just as easily have been someone else.

Not lately, he replied with a shrug.

He was supposed to spend time with his family, not gallivant around with his latest conquest.

"That’s an awesome use uh the word, mom," Mikey said with a grin.

Mrs. Gordon scowled at her son.

You too, she added. It’s nice that you invited Jordan, but you’re spending entirely too much time with him. It’s your cousin’s birthday. Have you even said congratulations?

…Which one is it again? Mrs. Gordon muttered to herself and walked off. Sorry! Mikey called out.

Jordan walked out of the bathroom with his hand on his lower stomach.

I thought that was a piss-boner, but I guess I’m just horny, he said with a shrug. He moved his blond hair out of his eyes and looked up at the sky. It’s fuckin’ cold.

You seen Miles? Mikey asked. My beloved (s)mother started directing her sass towards me when I couldn’t produce him. It’s in my best interest to redirect her snippiness towards someone else.

Wasn’t he getting some by the clown’s head? Jordan asked with a laugh.

So that was him?

"Him, or his fucking twin."

Mikey and Jordan shared a laugh over that. It was mid-December, and the cold had kept most of the families away from the miniature golf course. However, Mikey’s cousin wanted his party there, and Mrs. Gordon had insisted that her sons attend. Mikey had dragged his best friend Jordan along, seeing as how they were both unattached. Mikey’s boyfriend Skyler would be arriving the following day from his first semester at UVA, and Jordan’s boyfriend Grant would be arriving from his first semester at MIT the day after. All four boys were best friends, and couldn’t wait for the gang to be together again.

Did I tell you Sky texted me earlier? Mikey asked as Jordan put his ball down on the ground.

Did I have the yellow ball?

You did have a taste for the oriental, Mikey confirmed.

Hmm. Anyway. No, you didn’t. Was it his flight info? Cause that would be kinda useful.

He e-mailed you that like a thousand years ago, Mikey scoffed. "Do you ever check your fucking e-mail?"

Depends on the number of X’s in the subject, Jordan replied. Anyway. What’d Sky say?

Said we hafta talk tonight.

Fuck! Jordan exclaimed. He had missed the hole by at least five feet. He already knew he’d need the calculator on his phone to figure out his score. He was about to curse some more when he remembered where he was. He looked behind Mikey and saw some of his little cousins. Hey Mikey? Are your cousins potty-mouthed?

Doubtful, Mikey replied, catching his drift. He turned around and looked at his cousins. Hey, so, uh, how about we not— Before he finished, one of the girls ran off to find Mrs. Gordon. Smooth, you tool.

Well! I fucked up!

Mikey buried his face in his hands and laughed. He took his turn and didn’t fare any better than Jordan had.

What d’you think it could be? he asked as he lined up for his second putt.

What could what be?

Sky. He said we hafta talk.

…And? He’s comin’ tomorrow. Probably some logistical shit.

Ya think?

Pretty sure it’s as benign as the actor who shares that name.

…That was my joke, retard, Mikey said with a laugh. "You never even saw Life Is Beautiful."

Fuck, was it really your gag?

‘Fraid so. But yeah, you’re probably right. I mean, no good ever came from ‘we need to talk,’ but still. He’ll be here tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll all be lovely.

That’s the spirit. I plan on telling Grant we need to talk after this.

What about?

Well, it’ll just be phonesex. Remember the alleged piss-boner? That was the regular kind, my friend.

Mikey grinned. He looked at his best friend. Jordan McAllister had been his best friend since just before high school. He hadn’t really outgrown his boyish face, and his complete inability to grow any kind of facial hair didn’t help. He had long ago discarded his glasses for contacts, which was unfortunate as they did frame his big brown eyes. He had decided to stop swimming at UCLA, but he still had the build more or less. (And the tight shirts and pants he wore certainly highlighted his fine physical frame.) He was the most fun-loving, loyal, true friend one could ask for….The fact that he was a complete and utter pervert only made him all the more endearing. Mikey knew that Grant was absolutely crazy about him, and with good reason. Grant and Jordan had been together almost as long as he and Sky, and showed no signs of boredom yet.

Give Grant my best, Mikey said simply.

Before, during, or after?

Let’s mix it up this time. During.

Hawt.

I know, right?

Speaking of hawt…

Mikey followed Jordan’s gaze and saw his older brother Miles walking towards them with a sloppy grin.

How old’re you? Mikey asked his brother. You’re old enough to buy your own fuckin’ hooch now, so clearly you’re old enough to know better!

What?! Miles demanded.

Miles, did you just score in the clown’s head?

Is that what that was? was Miles’ response.

Jordan laughed. Mikey couldn’t help but smile.

How’d you even get in there?

It wasn’t locked in any serious way, Miles replied.

Nice, Jordan commented.

We didn’t do it, if it makes ya feel any better. We got to second when it occurred to me that with this many kids around, I could be convicted as a sex-offender if we got caught.

Fuck, that’s probably true, Jordan snickered.

Ya know, your mother came over here. She noticed you were gone for a while.

Shit! You cover for me?

Much as I could. But you better make an appearance….Without the skirt.

Hey, Jen’s great! This could really be something.

A girl who likes doing it in public places’s a keeper, Jordan agreed.

Okay, okay, I’ll go hang out with the old folks for a bit….D’you know which one’s celebrating a birthday?

That’s what I asked! Mikey said with a laugh.

Miles shook his head, pulled up his zipper, and headed off towards the food area. Mikey watched his brother walk away.

You and Grant ever done it in public?

No, but it hasn’t been from a lack uh trying, Jordan replied with a grin.

Mikey laughed.

Sounds about right. Me and Sky never have either, and I can’t claim to’ve ever been tempted. I mean there was that one time that…Anyway.

Anyway, Jordan agreed. He missed another putt badly, but this time managed to curse under his breath.

While Jordan tried scoring under six for once, Mikey was looking down at his nice red shirt.

Uh…Jordo? he asked hesitantly.

Yeah? Jordan replied absently.

Is this shirt good? Mikey asked shyly.

Jordan turned back and gave his friend’s shirt a cursory examination.

Sure. Covers your nipples, he replied lightly.

Mikey chuckled.

Not really what I meant, he said as he tugged at his shirt experimentally.

Okay. What kind of answer were you lookin’ for, then?

Just wanna make sure this shirt’s good.

Because… Jordan prompted.

Because I wanna look good for Sky tomorrow, Mikey said shyly.

…Gonna take more’n a shirt, Jordan pointed out. Mikey laughed and gave him the bird. Well! What the fuck d’you expect me to say when you fucking get your period all over me?!

Never mind, Mikey said. He took his turn and putted just as awfully as Jordan. Neither boy had the slightest talent for golf. Fucking hell.

Since when d’you plan your outfits, anyway? Jordan asked with a grin.

I dunno.

And wait, if you were thinking of wearin’ it tomorrow, why’d you wear it today? You gonna wash it?

What for? It ain’t dirty.

C’mere, Jordan instructed. He pulled Mikey towards him and stuck his face in Mikey’s chest and took a big whiff. Yeah, it passes inspection.

Admittedly, Mikey and Jordan’s hygienic standards were less than most people’s.

Woot.

Still, though. Why would Sky expect any miracles? Didn’t he always dress you back in the day?

Not always! Mikey insisted.

Yeah, he did. But, I mean, why d’you care now?

Well, you know, he didn’t come home for Thanksgiving. Remember his mom went over there and had Thanksgiving dinner at his aunt’s house in Norfolk or wherever. So, I haven’t seen him since the summer and you know he’s met, like, a thousand fucking people over there, and I have, like, four friends and shit.

Jordan thought about that for a second.

Miles doesn’t count, dude—he’s your brother.

I know four people! Mikey insisted.

The cat doesn’t count either, Jordan teased.

…Three people.

I still can’t believe this, though. Mikey, are you nervous? Jordan asked with a laugh. Mikey blushed. Jordan thought it was kind of adorable, but knew better than to say anything about it. I’m sure Sky won’t care what you’re wearing. He misses you too.

Aren’t you the least bit nervous about you and Grant?

Kinda, Jordan admitted. You know he’s a fucking brain. And he met all his fellow brains over in Boston.

You’re smart, Jordo, Mikey said honestly.

I’m passably intelligent, Jordan joked. I get by. But I’m no Grant, and we both know it. And I guess maybe I am kinda worried that after all this time…

Mikey was about to defend his best friend when he remembered Jordan’s comments about his lack of friends.

…Ya know what? You’re right! Grant’s probably up to his ass in smart boy cock, no pun intended, and you get…well…your cock.

Jordan looked down at his crotch. Mikey couldn’t be certain because of the angle, but it looked like Jordan winked down at it.

Well, he knows what I like, Jordan said cheerfully. "And the difference between me and my cock, and you and Sky’s that at least I get to be the man in my relationship, you vag. And you’re not even the good kind, cause I can’t even fantasize about fingering you. You’re bad vag."

…Well…I hate you! Mikey pouted. He uncrossed his arms and then started fiddling with his shirt collar. Hey Jordo?

Yes, Mikey? Jordan asked patiently. He had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"Does Sky ever talk about me? Or, like, us?"

Jordan shook his head.

"You really are a vag, he muttered. Look, he misses you too. Last few times we talked, it was rushed, and we mainly talked about finals and school and shit. But c’mon, Mikey, how long’ve you guys been together? I’m sure he’s just as nervous as you are. But, ya know, you gotta roll with it."

"Yeah. I mean, I guess I just wanna act like seeing him’s no big deal. But honestly, I can’t wait. I’ve been crossing off the days on the calendar in my head, and it’s almost time. Yesterday, I even took that chintzy little plastic tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas that he gave me forever ago and put it on my dresser. I didn’t put Linus’ blanket on it, though, cause that’s his job…"

Jordan smiled.

We’re probably being stupid, he said reasonably. Sky and Grant’re dying to see us too. And soon enough, the whole gang’ll be together and we’ll be able to do something really stupid and inexplicable soon.

Yeah, I know you’re right. Like, I know Sky’s probably talking to your non-Union southern equivalent right now, having this same conversation over some grits or fried squirrel or somesuch, and I’m just bein’ a bitch, but sometimes he just seemed—

Uh, Mikey? Jordan interrupted. Mikey looked back, annoyed, as he was trying to line up his shot.

Yeah?

Your mom’s comin’ over here, and she’s got that Supernanny look on her face.

Oh shit!

Mikey dropped his putter and ran to meet her halfway. It was apparently time to make an appearance with family.

Jordan turned and looked at the little kids behind him, waiting impatiently. He shrugged and walked away, leaving Mikey’s putter on the ground. He pulled his phone out and texted Grant.

No matter what he did, he kept reliving it. Sky closed his eyes, squeezing them as tightly as he could, but he kept seeing the half-smile on Chris’ face.

Thought you were taken… he had said after the kiss, after Sky pulled away reluctantly.

Sky shook his head. This wasn’t at all like him. All throughout high school, he hadn’t so much as looked at another boy. He didn’t need to. Mikey was more than enough. Hell, the boys had fought like hell to stay together. Why would he jeopardize that?

Thought you were taken…

Sky looked at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had offers. Truth be told, he got more than he could ever remember. Bright, fiery red shaggy hair and emerald green eyes. He had been aware from childhood that people looked at him a lot. He had thought nothing of it at the time. As he grew older, and understood the concept of attraction, he learned to resent it a bit. And then everything with…

At any rate, he had grown accustomed to being hit on rather frequently. But he had never even considered any offers. Mikey was his boy. And he was Mikey’s. So what it had been about Chris…?

That’ll learn me to pinch some hooch, he thought bitterly.

But he knew it wasn’t that either. Sure, the alcohol had helped (hurt?) the situation, but it hadn’t caused it. He was only free to admit what he was feeling because of the vodka. But that wasn’t at all the reason. And he knew that he had to figure this out immediately. He couldn’t go back home and pretend nothing had happened. Perhaps if he figured it out now, before Mikey called, he wouldn’t ever have to know. Christmas would be about presents, and eggnog, and cuddles, and Linus, and Lucy, like it always was. It didn’t need to be about—

Right on cue, Supersonic started playing from his phone. Sky sighed.

Thought you were taken… was all he heard in his head as he reached for the phone.

Hey babe, he said as he answered, trying to keep his voice steady.

Hiya, hott stuff, Mikey said cheerfully. Is it snowing there yet?

No, not yet. The locals tell me probably when we get back from winter break.

Aw! I really wanted a pic uh you punching a snowman in the face, Mikey pouted.

Sky didn’t feel like joking, but knew he had to throw a few into the conversation, or Mikey would grow suspicious.

Write your letter to Santa yet? Sky joked half-heartedly. He felt more than heard Mikey pause on the other end, and knew he had to distract him. So how was your cousin’s birthday bash?

Miniature golf was surprisingly fun, Mikey replied. Jordo was sufficiently awful. I was too. Miles didn’t play much, but he pulled a Jordo and got busy inside the big, scary-lookin’ clown head in the seventh hole. Ya know, the one where you gotta putt the ball into the clown’s mouth? Oh, and then my beloved (s)mother forced us to sing ‘happy birthday,’ but me and Miles got the name wrong, heh. All in all, a good time was had by all. How was your day, sexy?

Sky didn’t know quite how to answer. It was probably best not to mention that he’d spent the day trying to figure out what had compelled him to essentially cheat.

It was okay. Didn’t do much.

Jordo forgot your flight info. I’mma write it down and take it tomorrow. Otherwise, we’ll end up going to Burbank instead of LAX, and your mom’ll charge us double what you’re worth, and I have just enough for—

I think we should break up, Sky blurted out. He couldn’t tell, but Mikey actually bit his tongue when he heard that and stopped in mid-sentence. …Mikey, I’m sorry! I dunno where that came from! Honestly, forget I said anything! What I mean’s that—

No, clearly you knew what you were saying. You texted me earlier that we had to talk. I just…

No. Please. Forget it.

Forget it? Sky, what’s going on?

Sky sighed.

Thought you were taken… Oh, fuck. Do I owe it to him to do this in person?

Can we do this tomorrow, please?

Do what?!

Mikey, I really think—

"I really think you’re on fucking crack if you expect me to wait a whole fucking day for you just to say to my fucking face that it’s over. And, then, what, I’m s’posed to go with Jordo to the fucking airport and pretend that everything’s fucking peachy? What the fuck?!"

Mikey—

You said we had to talk. So fucking talk….Or did you decide to skip the talking and go straight to the dumping?

I’m sorry.

I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry. Start fucking talking.

Sky sniffled.

I dunno what to say, he said honestly. I love you.

Unfortunately for Mikey, those three words robbed him of his anger.

…I love you too.

I don’t know…I don’t know what to say.

Were you serious before?

I think so.

Sky…I thought things were…

They were. But now they’re…

Okay, one of us needs to finish a goddamn sentence.

Being over here, things’ve been different for me now. You know that. And I guess…

After everything we’ve been through? Kenny and your un—

I don’t need the litany, Mikey. I know our history. I was there. But that doesn’t change the way things are now. It doesn’t change who we are now.

"What the fuck does that mean? I’m not good enough for you anymore?!"

It’s not that at all. It’s not about that. You’re just…not my type.

…That is the most infuriating thing you’ve ever said.

I know how that sounds, but—

You’re a person, Sky, Mikey spat.

…What’s that got to do with anything?

You’re not two-dimensional. You’re not a cliché. You’re not a cardboard cutout. You’re not the kinda guy who guys away to college for four fucking months and then decides he’s a completely different person. That’s not you.

I know it looks like that, but—

We’ve been together for five fucking years. At what point, exactly, did I stop being your ‘type?’

I can’t quantify it for you, Mikey, Sky said sadly. I just know that—

I can’t believe this. Are you really fucking serious? Like, be honest. I think I’ve earned the truth….Is it someone else?

Thought you were taken…

No, Sky replied, surprising even himself. But the surprise was that he was being honest. Chris hadn’t broken them up. He just showed Sky how he truly felt.

"So, after all this time, this’s how you decide we’re not right for each other?! It’s two weeks before Christmas!"

I’m sorry! I know this’s shitty, but—

—But I’m just not your type?

I love you, but I don’t think this can work right now. Maybe later—

Mikey hung up before he could hear the rest. Sky put his cell phone down and picked up his pocket watch. He looked it over thoughtfully. He set it down next to his phone and looked in the mirror. He didn’t entirely recognize the boy with the watery eyes looking back at him.

Mikey was ahead of him, though. He hung up just as the tears started to come out. He couldn’t believe that after everything they’d been through, that was how it would end. On the eve of the boys being reunited, Sky decided that they were no longer compatible.

Just not my type… What does that even mean?…Was I ever his type?

Mikey sniffled and lay down, rubbing his temples. He felt a headache coming on. That was the absolute last thing in the world he had expected to hear. He still couldn’t quite believe it. A small part of him was expecting Sky to call back and apologize for taking the joke too far.

He was still waiting when Miles burst into the room.

Hey Mr. Stinky, I’mma head back… he trailed off when he saw Mikey’s condition. Whoa. Hey. What happened, little man?!

Mikey shook his head and tried to hide his face. Miles sat down on his brother’s bed and tried unsuccessfully to get Mikey to look at him. Eventually, he wiped the snot and tears on his sleeve, and faced his brother.

I really can’t talk about this now, Miles, he said honestly. I’m still…figuring it out.

"Figuring what out? Did something happen with Skyler? Mikey shook his head but said nothing. I’m not leaving till you talk to me."

It’s a long drive to Santa Barbara, Mikey pointed out.

Fuck the commute! Miles said dismissively. I’m not goin’ anywhere till you tell me what’s wrong.

I don’t wanna talk about it, Miles. I can’t yet. It just happened, and I’m still…

…You guys okay? Miles asked, starting to catch on.

No.

He nodded.

I’ll stay if you need me to. If you wanna talk, I’ll—

No, I’ll be okay. I just need…I just need to be alone.

Miles knew his brother well enough to know that those weren’t hollow words.

You sure? he asked. Mikey nodded. I dunno, little man. It seems like…

I need to figure it out before anything else. Once I do, then we’ll talk. You stop by all the time. We’ll talk later. I just need…to sleep now.

But isn’t he coming tomorrow? I mean, what the fuck happened that—

Not now, Miles, Mikey pleaded. Just…not now.

Miles nodded. He gently patted his brother’s leg.

You sure? he asked again. Mikey nodded again. Okay. Call if you wanna talk.

Kay.

I mean it.

I will.

…Stay strong, little man. It’ll be okay.

Mikey shrugged. Miles gave his brother a quick hug, and slipped out before his parents returned. They always tried to convince him to spend the night, and he really had things he had to take care of before coming down for Christmas.

As soon as he was gone, Mikey yanked his pants and shirt off, and crawled under the covers. He looked around at all the pictures on the wall. He had never truly appreciated what a cute couple he and Sky made. He lost it, though, when his eyes came to rest on Charlie Brown’s little plastic tree, sitting on his dresser. He thought about how it was now his job to put Linus’ blanket on it.

If he had had the strength, he would have certainly ripped all the pictures off the wall and thrown the tree in the garbage. But as it stood, he barely had the energy to call Jordan and leave him a voicemail saying not to pick him up the following morning.

Waking up hurt. Waking up never hurt before. Well…it had, but it had been so long that Mikey forgot how it felt.

He lifted his head just long enough to look at his clock, and then let it fall back onto the pillow. He distinctly remembered looking at the clock two hours before and wondering when he’d be able to sleep. That meant…

Two hours of fucking sleep…You gotta be fucking kiddin’ me.

He wasn’t sure why he’d woken up, but when the knocking started up again, he scowled.

He wondered absently why Jordan had disregarded his voicemail. At any rate, there was no way he was going to the airport. He now needed to find some way of weaseling his way out of this that didn’t require the truth.

Maybe he’ll go away…

The now-more-persistent knocking seemed to dispel that notion rather quickly. Mikey, however, didn’t seem to care too much. He just shoved his head under the pillow and tried to block out the noise. When the doorbell rang, he threw his blanket off with a snarl and stomped over to the door. His hands were trembling so hard that it took him a bit to undo the locks.

What?! he spit as he opened the door.

Jordan stood there looking dumbfounded.

Fuck’s your problem?! he demanded. "You’re the one who told me to be here at this hour. I know you’re all grumpy and shit in the morning, but fuck!"

A small part of Mikey felt almost guilty for the way he was behaving—a very, very small part.

I’m not going, he said simply, as though Jordan hadn’t spoken at all.

Was his flight cancelled? Jordan asked.

Didn’t you get my message? Mikey asked, clearly exhausted. I called you late last night.

No. I think I lost my cell phone.

"Do we really hafta do this again?"

Do what?

Go out to your car, Mikey said wearily.

Huh? Why?

Just go.

Jordan looked confused, but headed back out to his car. Mikey walked over to his phone and called Jordan’s cell phone. He let it ring twice and then hung up. He then headed back to his front door and waited patiently. Less than thirty seconds later, Jordan returned with his cell phone in his pocket and a sheepish grin on his face.

Whoops, he said apologetically.

This would be the third time you ‘lost’ your cell phone under a car seat, Mikey muttered. Anyway, his flight’s coming on time. I just…won’t be going with you to the airport. That’s all.

Because…?

We can play Twenty Questions later. I need to go.

You’re acting seriously freaky. Like, Celestia freaky….You realize this?

Not now. Okay?

Jordan was starting to catch on.

You swear you’ll talk to me later? he asked, genuinely concerned.

He got a good look at his best friend. Mikey’s black hair was obviously tousled from sleep, but it looked more disheveled than normal. It was clear he hadn’t slept well. His hazel eyes looked slightly puffy and pink. He hadn’t been crying recently, but he it looked like he might have cried just before bed.

Yeah. Sure.

I’ll…take off then. What should I tell Sky?

Nothin’, Mikey snorted. He won’t ask.

All right then. I’ll, erm, catch ya later?

Guess so.

Jordan gave Mikey one last pseudo-concerned look and then left. Mikey closed the door and collapsed. He had wanted to talk to Jordan, but he was too humiliated to do so. He needed to talk to Grant first. Grant would give him some perspective. Grant would know what to say.

He gathered his strength and stood up. He was halfway back to his room when the doorbell rang again. He was almost glad now. He would take a great deal of pleasure in cussing out whoever was at his doorstep.

He walked back, threw the door open, and was somehow unsurprised to see Jordan standing there.

Mikey’s face managed to convey the what the fuck’re you doing here? he didn’t feel like saying.

I heard your message, Jordan said by way of explanation, knowing what the look on Mikey’s face meant.

And? Mikey asked flatly.

Jordan found himself unfazed by Mikey’s rudeness now that he had a more solid idea of what was going on.

You were…ya know…crying.

No, I wasn’t.

Think I know crying Mikey when I hear him.

You dunno shit.

Maybe not. But I know you.

You’re gonna be late picking him up.

I will be if you don’t start talking.

So stay here all day. Leave him at the airport. I don’t give two fucks.

Mikey saw Jordan’s face change, ever so slightly, and realized that he had just found out everything he wanted to know. Mikey felt stupid for handing over on a silver platter what he had been desperately trying to keep hidden.

Fuck you, he said, and closed the door.

He walked back to his room and stared at the wall. There was really no way he’d manage to sleep now.

Jordan stared at the door, debating whether or not he should even bother attempting a conversation with Mikey. But he sighed and headed to his car, knowing it was more or less pointless. On his way to the airport, he called Grant.

The phone rang a few times before Grant picked up.

Rubber baby buggy bumper babysitting service, he said.

Jordan laughed.

You got it right this time, he said cheerfully.

Been practicing. What’s up?

Grant was only that direct when he was busy, so Jordan decided to cut to the chase.

I’m on my way to pick up Sky from the airport, but Mikey isn’t with me.

Guh?

I know! They had a fight or somethin’. Mikey called me last night telling me to go without him. He left me a message. He sounded like he was crying.

Hmm.

I figure it had to be pretty major for Mikey not to go pick him up.

Yeah.

I mean, Sky said they had to talk yesterday, but…Anyway. I was hoping you could connect the dots.

Sorry. I have no idea, Grant said, sounding concerned. And I don’t really have time to find out.

Yeah. I can tell you’re busy. I’ll letcha go now. I just wanted to know if you had any info.

Sorry, cutie.

Jordan smiled.

Didja sleep naked last night? he asked shyly.

Grant laughed.

I don’t understand how that could do anything for you all the way over there.

Hey, I’ve seen you sleep naked tons uh times before, and it makes me wish I was home alone right now.

Or with me?

Or with you, Jordan added. Everything set for tomorrow?

Yup. My flight gets in at three-thirty.

Cool. See ya there, sexy.

Awesome. Talk to ya later.

Bye!

Jordan hung up and concentrated on driving.

Skyler stared out the window. He sort of wished that the plane would crash. He felt like that’s what he deserved. But really…what other choice did he have? He did what needed to be done.

…Right?

Keep tellin’ yourself that, sparky. Perhaps you’ll buy it before you cross Arizona.

Sky tried to get into the episode of Scrubs being shown on the screens, but he just couldn’t. He thought about how much things had changed. How could he pretend that things were the same and that he felt the same way he did before when he clearly didn’t?

Indeed, a lot of things had changed. The boys were all freshmen in college, and despite their claims that they’d all go to the same school, that didn’t end up happening. In fact, they all went to different schools. Grant ended up going to MIT, a decision that pained Jordan to no end. Jordan himself went to UCLA, so though he lived in the dorms there, he hadn’t gone very far. Skyler went to UVA. It was the hardest decision he’d ever had to make, but with Mikey’s encouragement, he realized that it was the best place for him—it was a great school, and he had family there just in case of anything. Of course, the realization that the best place for him was on the other side of the country stung more than he ever believed possible, but he figured that if Grant and Jordan were going to do the long-distance thing, then he and Mikey could too. Mikey was the wildcard in the entire situation. Though he was as smart as Sky and the others, he just didn’t care about school. He went to the same AP classes as the other boys, but didn’t get their grades. He went to the local community college, and—to the surprise of everyone—actually started doing well. He hoped to be able to join Sky in a few years, though he wasn’t holding his breath.

Despite the way things had worked out, Mikey assumed that he’d be with Sky forever. He had no reason to believe otherwise. That said, Sky breaking up with him was a bit of a bad sign.

Scrubs suddenly went off as all the screens went black. The captain announced that they were making their final approach to LA. Sky looked out the window, admiring the view. He sighed inwardly. He still felt like scum. More alarmingly, he was no longer sure that he’d done the right thing.

As the plane descended, Sky wished for the twelfth time that the plane crash. He preferred that to seeing the look on Mikey’s face at the airport.

Jordan got to the airport to see that Sky’s flight had been delayed, so it would be a half-hour late. He kicked himself for not checking the flight’s status online, like Grant had told him to. Without Mikey around, he just sat on one of the chairs and started playing Tetris on his cell phone.

Not the same without the music, he reflected bitterly. He started humming the Tetris theme in his head, and didn’t even realize it when he started humming it out loud.

I always liked Type B more’n Type A, he heard Sky say.

Jordan looked up, and sure enough, Sky stood there with his lopsided grin. Jordan jumped up and hugged his best friend. Sky chuckled, dropped his bag, and returned the hug.

I was gonna wait for you by the escalators, but the screen thingy said that your flight was delayed, Jordan explained.

It was right on time, Sky said with a smile.

Jordan looked up at the big screen again.

Um…which flight was yours? he asked shyly.

Sky grinned.

Let’s go get my stuff, he said simply.

Kay.

The boys started walking towards baggage claim.

Mikey in the can? Sky asked as they watched the luggage go around in circles on the carrousel.

No…He, uh, didn’t come.

Oh.

…He said you’d know that.

Sky faked a chuckle. He had no idea why he’d expected Mikey to be there, but he had. He marveled at his own foolishness. Why would Mikey be anxious to greet the boy who dumped him over the phone?

Yeah. Sorry. Unky Sky’s brain ain’t what it used to be. You know that damn Gulf War Syndrome. I guess I forgot.

They both knew he was lying, but Jordan knew it wasn’t in his place to call him on it.

After they got Sky’s luggage, they walked back to Jordan’s car and headed out.

I see you’ve mastered the freeway system, Sky said as they finally got ahead of the traffic.

Grant schooled me real good. I know enough to get by now.

Cool.

Yeah. So your mom didn’t mind me pickin’ you up?

Nah. She was busy. She coulda made the time, but I told her not to worry about it. Hope you don’t mind.

Nah. School’s out, so I don’t have jack to do.

Except jack, Sky joked.

Heh. Grant’ll be home tomorrow, so that won’t be necessary.

…We’re really retarded.

I’m gettin’ that, yeah.

How’d your finals go? Sky asked.

Pretty good, I think. I may’ve royally fucked up in my stats class, but you know that me and math have that restraining order from way back when.

Sky forced a smile.

Yeah. God, me and Grant could never make you get it.

Eh. So how’d your finals go?

Good. At least, I’m pretty sure it went well. I can’t think of any class where I felt a fuck-up comin’ on.

Then the silence descended. Jordan and Skyler had been the best of friends all throughout high school, but right now, that didn’t matter. Mikey and Sky were having problems that they obviously didn’t want Grant and Jordan to know about, so Jordan didn’t quite know what to say. And Sky didn’t know what to say either, because he was barely keeping it all in check.

Sorry for the awkward silence, Sky said as they were almost home.

Don’t worry about it, Jordan said honestly. Shit happens.

Yeah. Shit happens, Sky repeated monotonously.

You hungry? There’s a Burger King right here.

Actually, I am. Stupid airline just gave me coke and some pretzels. What the hell happened to the peanuts? The peanuts were better’n the pretzels, that’s for damn sure.

I think I heard that some fool who was allergic to peanuts sued, and so now they hafta hand out pretzels.

Gay, Sky muttered.

Jordan got off the freeway and headed to Burger King. The boys all preferred different fast food places, but for breakfast, they all agreed that Burger King was the best.

The ush? Jordan asked.

Yeah. Get me an extra croissant’wich, though.

You’re gonna get fat, Jordan teased.

You want anything?

I don’t have any cash on me.

It’s on me.

You sure?

You picked me up from the airport, Sky said matter-of-factly.

Cool. Thanks.

No problem. Get whatever you want.

As Jordan ordered their food, Sky actually paid attention to the CD that was playing. The whole ride home, he’d been either listening to Jordan or lost in his head, but now he heard what it was.

This’s Mikey’s CD, Sky commented.

Jordan mentally kicked himself. He had been listening to it on the way to the airport, and made a mental note to take it off before he parked.

Smooth move, Gilligan. Just knee him in the pelvis and get it over with.

Yeah. He made me a copy, cause all the songs rawk. It’s all Coldplay and Oasis, right?

Yeah. His favorite bands.

The rest of the ride was more excruciating than awkward. Jordan was immensely grateful when he got to Sky’s house.

You want some company? he asked.

Nah. I kinda wanna be alone for a bit. That fine?

More than fine, Jordan said immediately. He realized that that may have come off as callous, so he wanted to clarify. I just mean that—

I know. It’s cool. We don’t hafta get Hallmarky about it.

Want some help with everything?

I got it, Sky replied. He shoved his food into his backpack and got his bag out of Jordan’s trunk. Not too heavy.

Not what I meant.

Skyler sighed. He didn’t know how to handle this. His ex was Jordan’s best friend. There were no easy answers.

…I know. It’s fine. I’ll handle it. Thanks a lot for the lift.

No problem. We’ll talk later, okay?

Sure thing.

It’s good to see ya again, Sky, Jordan said in all seriousness. "I missed you.

Missed you too, Sky said honestly. We’ll catch up after I’m settled, all right?

Sure. Later.

Bye.

Jordan drove off, and Sky carried everything into his house. It was empty, as usual. He walked up to his room, and sighed as he dropped everything he was carrying. Much like his ex, his room was full of pictures of him and Mikey, as well as other things they’d gotten together over the years. That was, of course, the last thing he needed to see. He suddenly found himself without appetite. He quickly stripped out of his clothes, put on some shorts and jumped into the pool. Swimming always made him feel a little better.

It didn’t work so well this time, and after about fifteen minutes, he climbed out of the pool and just lay on one of the chairs. He knew the sun would burn him to a crisp, and he didn’t really care. But still, he knew his mom would be home soon, and it wouldn’t do for her to catch him roasting out by the pool, indifferent to his impending sunburn.

With a groan, he went inside to the living room and tried to find something decent on TV. He had yet to anything when his mother finally arrived.

Mrs. Harris put her purse and her bags down, and looked her son over. He was sitting on the couch in his swim trunks, wearing a sour expression. He looked more annoyed than anything else.

They let you board the plane like that? she asked playfully.

I changed when I got here, Sky said, rolling his eyes.

"I was talking more about your ‘I just got drafted’ face. It’s so unbecoming. I realize I may not be the coolest mom ever, but is it really that bad being home?"

Rather than reply, Sky got up and hugged his mom. He seemed taller to her.

Hi mom, he said.

It’s good to have you back, she said with a smile. You look so handsome! Your hair’s a bit long, but otherwise…perfection.

I guess.

I’m sure Mikey loved seeing you….Where is he, by the way? I expected me to have to knock on your door and go in there to see the two of you looking guilty.

Sky’s face turned the color of his hair.

Mom! he said.

Oh c’mon. I wasn’t born yesterday.

He’s not here.

Why not?

I dunno.

Are things okay between you? she asked hesitantly, starting to think that there might be more to her son’s bad mood than simple travel fatigue.

I just got back from my first semester at college, Sky reminded her, clearly irritated. "Is this really what you wanna talk about?"

Guess not, Mrs. Harris said carefully. Let’s talk about college then.

Let’s not, Sky said. I’m goin’ out.

He started going up the stairs.

You really are your father’s son, she said sadly.

Sky stopped dead in his tracks.

That was pretty low, he said without turning around. He then kept going.

Mrs. Harris threw her arms up in the air and went to the kitchen to get a coke. Before she was even done with it, Sky came into the kitchen fully dressed.

Where are you going? she asked.

Dunno. Movies, I guess.

You gonna be home late?

Probably.

Have fun.

Yeah. Sky turned around, but didn’t move. Mom…

Yes?

"I’d stay, but I can’t. I need…I need to go. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you had in mind, and it wasn’t what I had in mind either. But it’s just…I can’t stay here right now."

Did he do something? Mrs. Harris asked softly.

No, I did, Sky said sadly.

We all make mistakes. He’ll understand.

Maybe I don’t want him to this time.

What does that mean?

I hafta go, mom. Now.

Mrs. Harris sighed.

I’m letting you off the hook tonight, but you need to talk to me tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow’s good. Bye.

Bye.

Sky walked out, hoping his mom hadn’t caught the quiver in his voice indicating that he’d been crying.

Grant was rather irritated. There had been some sort of mix-up, and so his plane had gotten into the wrong terminal. One that was halfway to Cairo, apparently. So the passengers from flight 282 had to be bussed to the main complex. Normally this would have been no big deal, but Grant hadn’t seen his boy in months. He’d talked to him on the phone, chatted online, and received the occasional letter and picture. But he hadn’t seen Jordan in months. Not since the summer. It hadn’t worked out for Thanksgiving, so Grant stayed in Cambridge.

After the bus arrived at the correct terminal, Grant practically pushed everyone out of the way and ran to the escalators.

When he got to the bottom, he grinned broadly. Jordan’s face completely lit up. He had seen Grant from the top of the escalator. It was hard to miss him: at 6’5", Grant was the tallest of the boys. He was all the fullest, but he was by no means fat. His light brown hair framed his face cutely, and his honey-colored eyes were positively bulging from the joy.

Mikey noticed both his friends’ excitement, and smiled himself. It wasn’t a genuine smile, and all three boys knew it, but it meant something that he was trying to make everything perfect for Grant’s return.

Grant didn’t know what Mikey and Sky’s drama was, but he was sure it was big. Skyler was nowhere to be seen. He had debated how to greet Jordan. They were, after all, in love. But Mikey and Sky were on the outs. How was he supposed to proceed? He had decided to keep it simple, but seeing Jordan, he found himself unable to.

Grant ran up to his boy and hugged him. Jordan hugged his boy as tightly as he could. He wanted to kiss him as well, but knew that Grant wasn’t very big on the PDA. He didn’t mind.

After hugging Jordan, Grant hugged Mikey.

Good to have you back, G-Man, Mikey said honestly.

Good to be back, Grant replied, talking to Jordan but looking at Mikey.

I missed you, Jordan said.

Grant nodded.

I missed you too, he said simply.

This’s stupid, Mikey said with a sigh. Grant and Jordan looked at him curiously. Look, you guys haven’t seen each other since August. And you two cried so much then that I coulda sworn that you were pissing out of your eyes.

Charming, Jordan said with chuckle.

Anywho, you guys deserve to do the big airport reunion scene. So…do that. I’ll be looking for your luggage.

They haven’t sent it down yet, Grant said.

I’ll go wait for your luggage then, Mikey said with a smile.

He turned slowly and walked away.

I can’t decide if he’s being selfish, Jordan said.

He’s not, Grant clarified. He wants us to have the big thing he wanted to have with Sky. What’s the deal, there?

I called him yesterday. He said it’d be best if he not show up here today. Said you’d understand.

Grant nodded. He then smiled.

I’m not glad about that, he said quickly. I just…I love you.

Jordan beamed.

I love you too, he said softly. Grant, can I…kiss you?

Grant looked around. There were plenty of people. He didn’t care.

Please.

Jordan and Grant shared a quick kiss. They then walked towards baggage claim, pretending not to notice the looks they were getting from people.

Fags, a kid muttered from somewhere.

This caused the boys to break out in laughter. They found Mikey leaning against a pillar, looking out the door.

You were right, G-Man. They haven’t released the luggage yet.

Shouldn’t be too long, Grant said simply.

How was your flight? Jordan asked.

"The movie was Harry Potter and the…help me out here, Mikey."

Despite himself, Mikey laughed.

"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of the Order of the Goblet of the Chamber of the Phoenix?"

Sounds about right. So, that more or less covers how my flight was, I think.

Ouchie. You slept through it, yes?

Oh, fuck yeah. Please. Was I really gonna watch such trash?

"Prisoner of Azkaban wasn’t too shabby," Jordan offered.

Mikey and Grant looked at him as if he’d burped loudly in the middle of a dinner party.

Least he’s a tomcat in the sack, Grant whispered to Mikey.

Jordan elbowed Grant in the stomach.

Just like old times, Mikey said without really meaning it. They all knew what was missing for it to be just like the old days.

Luckily, Grant’s luggage came quickly, so the boys got to leave the airport relatively early.

Grant and Jordan made small talk in the front, while Mikey sat in the back staring out the window blankly. He thought that Grant would be so into his conversation with Jordan that he wouldn’t notice. He was wrong.

Mikey, are we gonna talk about this? Grant asked directly.

Talk about what? Mikey replied.

You know damn well what I mean. If you’re not ready to talk yet, that’s fine. But don’t pretend like you dunno what I’m talkin’ about, and don’t think that we’re not worried. We are.

We’ll talk in private, Mikey said carefully. Jordan was hurt, but tried not to show it. He pretended like he was concentrating on driving, and hadn’t caught that. …Nothin’ personal, Jordo. I just…don’t like crying in front uh you. I feel like such a bitch doing it.

Mikey, you’re already crying, Grant pointed out.

It was true. Mikey had started to cry. He hadn’t even realized it.

Shit! he hissed.

You’ve seen me cry, Jordan reminded him. On several non-consecutive occasions. Remember when my dad found out about me? That certainly wasn’t the feel-good story uh the year. I cried forever….You think I was a pussy?

No.

Then why would I think that about you?

I dunno.

Mikey, only talk if you’re comfy, but you know you can trust us.

Mikey said something, but he said it so softly that neither Jordan nor Grant caught it.

What? Jordan asked as he turned the radio off.

He dumped me, Mikey said, just as softly.

Grant felt the anger rising, and had to fight to control it. Jordan was more levelheaded, waiting to hear more before condemning Skyler. Mikey was so drained that he couldn’t even feel shame that he was crying.

Just like that?

He just…plum broke up with me, Mikey said again.

He tell you why? Jordan asked.

Said I wasn’t his type, Mikey spat.

"Wait, what?" Grant demanded.

Said I wasn’t his type, Mikey repeated bitterly.

"You must’ve misunderstood him, Grant reasoned. There’s no way Sky woulda said that."

S’what he said, Mikey said firmly. Why d’ya think I feel like shit?

"After all this time, after everything, his reason for breaking up with you was, ‘you’re not my type?’ Are you fucking kidding?! I just—"

Jordan put his hand on Grant’s knee, trying to calm him down. Grant shook his head and looked out the window. Jordan took that as his cue.

He say anything else? he asked.

No. We didn’t really talk too much. Well…we did, but not about this. We were having one of our usual bullshit talks. He asked about my cousin’s birthday and I told him about Miles getting randy on the seventh hole and about punching a snowman in the face and…Anyway, I could tell he was bored. He just wasn’t really into it. It’s been happening a lot lately. I chalked it up the distance—that we’d be fine when we were together again. But then he just fucking blurted out that it was over. He tried to pretend it never happened, and said we should wait and talk about it here, but how could I do that?! Said things were different and that things had changed for him now and…I mean, I couldn’t believe it. It was…so outta left field. I mean, he just…fucking broke up with me! Outta nowhere!

And he said you weren’t his type and that’s it? Jordan asked.

Yeah. Said he was really sorry. He might’ve said some other shit. I dunno. I may not’ve caught everything. I sorta zoned out.

Both Grant and Jordan knew that that was Mikey-speak for I was too busy crying to pay attention to what was being said.

Then what? Jordan asked.

I hung up. Didn’t really feel like waiting to see what else he had in store for me for Christmas, Mikey said bitterly. "Ugh, and then fucking Miles found out. He had to be home, goddammit. Anyway. After that, I called and told you I wouldn’t be going to the airport with ya."

I don’t get it, Jordan said, the bewildered tone evident in his voice.

He asked for you at the airport. He musta known you weren’t gonna go, but then he looked legitimately surprised that you weren’t.

"I’m gonna beat the shit out of him," Grant rasped.

Grant— Jordan started.

No! That shit’s not right! Grant snapped.

Jordan took a deep breath. He couldn’t afford to lose his cool, as he was the only rational one in the car.

I just think we should maybe give Sky the benefit uh the doubt. Maybe he was under a lotta stress or something, what with finals and everything. Maybe he didn’t really mean it.

Maybe he didn’t, Mikey agreed.

Grant glared at Jordan. He was giving Mikey false hope. He knew Skyler well enough to know that this was something quite serious. Sky wouldn’t have said something like that to Mikey unless he really meant it.

The boys drove on—they all stayed mostly quiet, though, as none of them knew quite what to say.

Mikey was watching TV in his house a few days later when the doorbell rang. He ignored it the first two times, but by the third, it became obvious that whoever was there wasn’t going away. With a sigh, he got up and opened the door. It was Sky.

The fuck?! Mikey demanded. Seeing Sky stabbed at him.

You didn’t answer my calls, Sky explained. I called you like eight times.

I know. Caller ID’s the best thing to happen to the world since flavored condoms. What the fuck’re you doing here?!

It’s obvious you guys all fucking hate me. No one’s called me and I haven’t heard from you guys at all, Sky said tearfully. It’s obvious they’re on your side, and I don’t blame ‘em, cause—

Why’re you saying this with a tone that implies that I would care?!

I wanna make it right.

Sky leaned in to kiss Mikey. Mikey stepped back.

You think shoving your tongue down my throat’s gonna ‘make it right?’ Fuck you.

Tell me how to make it right, Sky pleaded. I dunno what to do.

"Is that why you’re fucking here?"

I never meant to—

Don’t! Don’t start acting like you’re sorry. You’re not.

Mikey glared at Sky, who meekly looked away.

I’m gonna go…

"And don’t come back. I don’t wanna see you again. Not after…I mean, if I could Eternal Sunshine you outta my fuckin’ head, I gladly would."

Sky turned and left. After a few steps, he turned around. Mikey had closed the door already.

Sky couldn’t see, but Mikey saw him go from one of the windows. He was crying and shaking uncontrollably. He was still crying a few minutes later when the phone rang. He let it ring, knowing full well who it was. After the fourth ring, the machine got it.

Mikey, I’m sorry! Sky said pleadingly. C’mon, let’s talk. I didn’t mean it. I…I lost my head. At least give me a chance to explain. I miss you. Call me. Please. Call.

Mikey deleted the message. He didn’t trust himself. If he heard Sky’s voice enough times, he’d cave in and call.

The next day, Sky was awakened by a soft knock on his door.

He opened his eyes just as his mom came in. She sat on the bed and waited for Sky to sit up.

What’s up? he asked.

I’m worried about you.

So I’ve been a little moody lately. Big deal.

No one’s stopped by to see you.

So now you’re worried about my popularity?

I just hate seeing you like this.

I’ll be fine soon enough, Mom, Sky said. And he meant it….As much as he could mean something like that.

It’s almost Christmas, Skyler. You love Christmas. Remember how you and Kenny used to—

Not now. That’s something I can’t hear right now. Just gimme some time, okay?

What other choice do I have? Mrs. Harris asked roughly. She got up and closed the door behind her softly. Since the divorce, she and Sky had been left alone, and had slowly drifted apart. It got to the point where they had nothing to say to each other, and could go days without saying something the slightest bit meaningful. It got a little better before he left, but now it was falling apart again, and they both knew it.

Sky tried going back to sleep, but was unsuccessful. Eventually he got bored, so he started watching TV. Nothing good was on, so he decided to go online. He saw that he had an e-mail from Chris, but decided not to read it. He was confused enough as it was.

But it was just sitting there on the screen, taunting him. Who knew what Chris had to say? Perhaps it was an emergency. The subject, hiya! seemed to imply otherwise, but one never knew.

Sky clicked on the e-mail. More than anything, he was eager to hear from someone who didn’t think he was a complete ass.

Howdy hot stuff. Haha. I was just wondering what u were up to. We haven’t talked, but u said u’d prolly be busy, so I didn’t think too much of it. How’s ur vacation been? I hate being home—nothin’ to do. Not like on campus where we’d go on our slurpee runs and stay up all night watching bjork. Fuck man, u have some wackass taste in music. lol ;p sky…I miss u. I miss u bad. I couldn’t believe u kissed me the other day…! I rly liked it tho ;) and I want u to do it again lol! I know u don’t want me saying shit like that, but I do. Can’t wait to see u again. Hit me up later, kk? It’d be nice to hear from ur hott ass. Hehe. ttyl"

Sky felt a knot in his stomach. He felt like the lowest of the low. No one should feel that way about him. Not while he felt like this. Not after what he’d done. Not after he’d broken Mikey’s heart and caused him—

The doorbell rang. Sky’s heart stopped.

It’s Mikey. It has to be. It…it has to be. He knows.

The doorbell rang again, and Sky ran down to get it. He realized as he turned the knob that he was just wearing his boxers.

Luckily, it wasn’t Mikey. Unfortunately, it was Grant.

Hi, Sky said, genuinely surprised. What’re you…I mean, come in.

I thought maybe we could talk, Grant said stiffly as he stepped inside.

Sky shook his head.

We didn’t need to schedule talks before, he muttered. C’mon.

Sky led Grant up to his room. Sky sat on the bed, and Grant sat on the chair.

Want something to drink? Sky asked politely.

"Nah. There is something you can do for me, though."

What?

"Cross your legs or put some pants on or somethin’. I can totally see your dick."

Sky blushed slightly and went to the bathroom to change. Grant spun around in the chair, and saw that Sky had his laptop on. He saw that Sky had been reading an e-mail before he got there. He didn’t read it, obviously, because it was none of his business who wrote to Sky.

Sky came out of the bathroom, still embarrassed that Grant had seen everything.

There, now you won’t be able to… Sky trailed off when he remembered about the e-mail. He stared at Grant. You read it, didn’t you?

Grant frowned.

No, I didn’t.

It was the truth, and both boys knew it.

Oh. I just—

So that’s it? You were cheating on him?

"I was not cheating on him."

S’not what the look on your face says. And if I turn around and read that e-mail, what’m I gonna find?

Sky sat down dejectedly.

I kissed him, he admitted.

You kissed who? Grant demanded.

Chris, this guy from my school.

Didja fuck him?

No.

Blow him?

No.

Grope him?

No.

He do any uh that to you?

No.

Just a kiss?

Yeah.

Tongue?

No.