The Beach Slaves

The Beach Slaves

By R. Richard ©

Published by R. Richard at Smashwords

Copyright 2023 R. Richard

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The Beach Slaves

By R. Richard © 2023

Chapter 1: Genesis

If you’re going to understand what happened, you have to first understand a few facts about me.

My name is Jim Holt. I appear to be an average sized individual. (Actually I’m five feet ten and one half inches tall and a smidge over 190 pounds.)

I play Kung Fu and I work out day by day.

I’m inhumanly strong for a man my size and I can use the strength, because of my workouts and my Kung Fu techniques.

My skin is very white, in fact so white that I don’t buy white sheets, because I like to see where the sheet ends and I begin. (For whatever reason.)

I, at some point in time, became involved with a porn star lady and I know quite a bit about the porn industry.

I’m a speculator in the stock market.

I’m as good a real-time programmer as anyone I have ever met and quite a bit better than most.

Chapter 2: San Diego

I was working as a real-time programmer in San Diego. I was attacked, while working on a military base, by my civilian supervisor. I defended myself. I black out during violence, such as my supervisor’s attack, thus I have no idea as to what actually happened. Fortunately, the military base has a security camera on duty. It’s later determined that my supervisor did indeed physically attack me. Despite the fact that I was the victim of an unprovoked attack, I got fired from my job and the police arrested me. Don’t ask me what I got arrested for, I have no idea. Fortunately for me, the military base security camera has the true version of what happened between me and Fat Freddie, my former supervisor. The security camera proves that Fat Freddie attacked me and perhaps shows that he attempted sexual assault on me. I got a good lawyer and he managed to sue my former employer for a lot of money. I won the lawsuit. My winning the lawsuit resulted in a situation where no one in the San Diego defense community would interview me, much less hire me.

I then lucked into an emergency replacement database programmer job, with a company that turned out to be in the going out of business business. I made a lot of money betting against the company where I worked. I also managed to score quite a bit of pussy along the way, some of it because I helped ladies escape from the sexual predators who ran the new company, where I worked.

Once the company collapsed and my database programmer job went away, I got involved with the murder of a federal agent, who was involved in a drug case. I managed to do some good in solving the murder of the federal agent. When I got involved with the murder of the federal agent case, no one in San Diego would actually hire me, due to my lawsuit against my former employer. Well, I did get a few consulting jobs, more or less in secret, but nothing steady. After I solved the murder of the federal agent, the government hooked me up with the Commanding Officer of a San Diego military base. As a result, I, once again, have a steady programming job!

The reason that the CO wants me to work for him is that the CO feels that he’s being ripped off by the companies that provide computer programming support to his base. My job is to see that the CO gets value received.

I go into work at the military base and I’m called into a meeting with the CO and his senior staff.

The CO tells me, I’m getting damn little for the money that I’m paying for computer programming support. I need you to find out why. I have been told that you can help me.

I lecture the CO and his staff, I already know why you’re getting very little computer programming for what you pay, how to solve the problem and how to show your staff how to prevent the problem from recurring. However, I’m going to need your complete support.

The CO is maybe a bit shocked at my words. He says, I take it that what’s happening is a common problem?

It’s a common problem, at least here in San Diego. The problem is a political one and not a technical one. There are unqualified people being foisted off on you and I know how to eliminate the unqualified people. However, there will be a storm of protest, as a result of what I’m going to do.

The CO muses, I need to know more about what it is that you intend to do.

I lecture the CO, You’re commanding an aircraft carrier. You have a junior officer foisted off on you. The junior officer comes on to your bridge and says, I know how to run an aircraft carrier, but I need complete control. When I say ‘Turn left!’ your people damn well need to turn the boat left. When I say to clear the flat floor thing of airplanes, your people damn well need to clear the flat floor." I pause and look at the CO’s staff.

The CO’s staff is a mixture of people trying not to laugh and people who are angry at my impudence.

The CO breaks the tension by laughing and then lecturing me, I would personally escort the junior officer off my bridge. I would tell him that he was an idiot and then I would have him confined to quarters, until I could find out what other idiot foisted a total incompetent off on me.

I lecture the CO and his staff, There are several people testing some malfunctioning software on a computer in your facility here. It’s claimed that all of the people are qualified programmers, with experience on the computer being used for the testing. I go to the test team and tell the people, ‘I have looked at a problem. I feel that the problem is located in thus and such routine. I want to set a break point at the entry to the routine and then start the program. Do you have any problem with that?

I pause and look at the officers in the room. No one wants to speak. Either they have no problem, or someone wants to set a break point elsewhere, for the following reason or reasons, and then start the program. It really doesn’t matter. I then select what appears to me to be the least qualified person and tell him/her/it, ‘Set up a break point at thus and such location, start the program and examine the contents of register four, after the break point is encountered.’ So far, so good?

The most junior officer in the room asks, Okay, he/she doesn’t know how to do that. Now what?

If you don’t know port and starboard, don’t know the difference between a ship and a boat, don’t know a deck and/or a bulkhead, then you’re not competent to command a ship. Similarly, if you don’t know how to do what I asked, you’re not a competent programmer, of at least military computers.

The junior officer nods yes and says, However, you’re then going to have to deal with the incompetent’s management.

Now, it’s the CO’s turn to laugh. Not a problem for Mr. Holt. Trust me here.

My clever trick has rid your command of maybe a couple of total incompetents, posing as programmers. Now, we get down to people who, if you will, at least know port and starboard. We get started testing. Eventually, we find the source of a problem. When you test on a military computer, you mostly use patches. Patches are changes to the software, which changes are entered manually, via switches on the front panel, the console. Henceforth, patches at this base will be logged using the form that I have furnished to each of you. You'll note that one of the items to be filled in on the patch form is the name of the programmer who generated the patch. There are those who tell you that programming should be egoless. That’s bullshit, technical programming term here. You need to know who generated the patch. You then need to have that programmer tell you how to fix the problem in normal source code, not patch code. If you know how to generate the patch, you know how to fix the source code. If Joe Incompetent supposedly generated the patch and he can’t fix the source code, then Joe, or more likely his management, is lying to you.

The CO then asks, So, you’re telling me that the main problem is incompetents?

The incompetents are basically a symptom of political problems. Some idiot child needs a job. Why not let him be a programmer? After all, it’s just writing nonsense on pieces of paper, anyone can do that sort of thing.

The CO’s face hardens, Not anymore!

Now, we have gotten rid of the flaming incompetents. We then begin to track the number of patches generated by each programmer. Over a night, the best programmer on a job may not generate a single patch. Over a week, the cream starts to rise to the top. Over a few weeks, the cream rises to the top.

The CO thinks for a bit then tells me, You intend to use your expertise as a programmer, to get rid of the incompetents. Then, software production will speed up.

Yes, but a bit more than that. Low output might be due to an inexperienced programmer. The guy/girl/whatever, is trying hard and just needs some time in grade, plus a guiding hand. I can do that.

The CO laughs and says, Yes, I can see that. Several times I have had to bite my tongue to keep from chewing on a junior officer, who’s doing his very best. Later, I have seen the same, more seasoned officer doing it the way I would have done it. ... Does anyone have any problem with what Mr. Holt intends to do? (The question is delivered in a tone of voice that indicates that nobody better have a problem.)

Nobody has a problem, at least for publication.

The meeting breaks up and I go to work in a base computer lab.

There are a half dozen people working in the computer lab. Well at least, there are a half dozen people in the computer lab. I detect what appears to me to be incompetent boy. I direct him to operate the computer.

Incompetent boy tells me, I aint gonna do that.

I don’t raise my voice, but I tell the boy, Either you operate the computer, as I directed, or you leave this base, permanently.

Incompetent boy grins me a big grin and tells me, I already told you, I aint gonna do that.

I summon the Military Police.

Incompetent boy grins again and asks me, Do you know who I am?

No I don’t, should I?

Incompetent boy defiantly tells me, I’m Danny Broyer.

I pretend to think over what I have just been told. I then ask incompetent boy, Are you the guy who can turn water into wine and do a trick with loaves and fishes?

Danny Broyer looks puzzled and says, No.

I tell the MPs to get him out of here, permanently and ‘I aint gonna do that boy’ is then marched off and signed out of the base permanently.

After not too much time, I exile another incompetent, from another task. Actually, the incompetent leaves, before I have to summon the MPs. Then, as I later learn, yet another person leaves the base.

The work continues apace.

Chapter 3: The Important Person

Late in the day, I get called back into the CO’s office.

Mr. High And Mighty gives me the, ‘you insect’ stare.

I ignore Mr. High And Mighty and I address the CO, You wanted to see me, Admiral?

The CO says, Yes, this is Mr. Eustace Broyer.

I turn to Mr. Eustace Broyer and tell the boy, I’m Mr. Jim Holt, Mr. Eustace Broyer. What brings you to this base?

Mr. Eustace Broyer stares at me for a bit and them says, You had my son thrown off this base. Do you know who I am?

Yes sir, you’re Mr. Eustace Broyer. We just met, so I remember your name.

(The CO shows a flash of amusement. Mr. Eustace Broyer isn’t at all amused.)

Mr. Eustace Broyer tells me, I run Venture Voyagers, the venture capital firm.

Mr. Eustace Broyer, I’m currently under contract to the United State government, specifically, I’m assigned to work for the Admiral. I’m not seeking venture capital, at least not at this time, nor am I free to take another work assignment, at this point in time.

Mr. Eustace Broyer tells me, I have quite a bit of political power in this town. If you cross me, you just might find it a bit difficult to obtain employment locally.

I lecture,