Generational Sin

Generational

Sin

Michael O’Gara

Copyright 2013 by Michael O’Gara

eBook Edition

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This is a fictional work coming from the author’s imagination.  Any similarity to actual persons, events, places, organizations and companies is purely coincidental.

Published by Heartland Indie Publishing LLC

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - Crisis and Opportunity

Chapter 2 - Roots

Chapter 3 - Fits and Starts

Chapter 4 - Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 5 - Moving Things Along

Chapter 6 - Surprises

Chapter 7 - Progress

Chapter 8 - Family Secrets

Chapter 9 - Searching for Answers

Chapter 10 - The Unexpected

Chapter 11 - Aftermath

Chapter 12 - Revelations

Chapter 13 - Confrontation

Chapter 1 - Crisis and Opportunity

It did not come as most crises are apt to. It came rather as a slow dawning of the reality of his situation through a sequence of seemingly random events. These events would work together to herd Ken toward an unavoidable realization that his life was drowning in pretense as well as both external deception and self-deception. The world in which he lived was a facade like the old house that looked attractive on the outside but was filled with mold, rot and ugliness on the inside. Little did Ken know the house was about to collapse around him.

It was a bright April morning and Ken set out for the commuter train. The sun was rising gloriously spreading a red hue in the eastern sky. The trees were in bloom and the occasional song bird serenaded him. Ken wasn’t exactly happy but he was content in the acceptance of his life even with its places of emptiness.

Each morning Ken walked the half mile to the train station. It was not his only commitment to physical activity nor was exercise the reason for being on foot. Every morning, just after the sun came up, Ken enjoyed this walk which eased him into the day. Today he especially needed the time to think and gather his thoughts. It was commitment day.

He had examined the matter from every perspective he could imagine. If he accepted the offer he would come out wealthy. If he did not then he would probably face an uphill battle to retain his business. It was, as the young people in his office would say, a no brainer.

Ken as always purchased a coffee and a bagel from the vendor at the station. He seldom ate lunch and this was to be his sustenance until dinner. He boarded the train saying hello to the regulars he had gotten to know over the eleven years he had been travelling this route.

On the train ride to the office Ken took out his laptop and began re-examining the numbers. He had been over them so many times but he was drawn to do it again. It always came out the same no matter how many ways he looked at it. Ah well, he would just have to start a new business either in a different field or different area. The non-competition clause had geographic and specific restrictions. The family would just have to accept the inevitable.

Ken was on automatic pilot until he got to the office building where his company leased offices. He had started the company in his rented home but now had seventy three employees. Ken walked into the office and the receptionist greeted him with a buoyant enthusiasm.

Good morning Mr. Jerome.

Ken smiled, Good morning Jenny.

As usual Jenny was the only one in the office before him. She opened the office each morning and was the gatekeeper who ensured everyone’s first greeting at work was upbeat and pleasant. Jenny had been with him from the beginning. She had not wanted to climb the ladder with him though she’d been offered ample opportunity for advancement. Jenny was content with her part time job and had declined offered promotions. She still worked the six hours each day as she had all these years. These days however she worked from seven in the morning until one in the afternoon.

Ken went to his office and sat there and wondered what he should do. There was really no reason to work on his latest concept. It would be an exercise in futility to start the project when he was selling the company. Ken had cleared his emails during the commute and was at a loss as to what to do. The appointment wasn’t until nine so he decided to walk to his attorney’s office.

Ken walked out and said to Jenny, I’m going out to an appointment. I won’t be back until lunch. Robert is on vacation and I’ll be using his company car this afternoon so please have the keys ready when I return.

Jenny smiled, Yes sir.

Ken smiled, Thank you Jenny.

The city streets were filling with workers headed to their places of employment. Ken walked several blocks and stopped to sit on a bench in a small park. He watched the world rushing by. It seemed to him that the place reminded him of the ant colonies he had seen as a child at the family cottage. The little ants seemed to be scurrying in all directions without apparent purpose but when they returned they were carrying the fruits of their labors. They always had something the colony needed.

Ken watched the activity for about twenty minutes then started walking again. He arrived at his attorney’s office fifteen minutes before the closing. He was offered coffee and accepted. At nine o’clock sharp the meeting started and the papers were signed and Ken received the check. By agreement the sale would not be made public until Wednesday. Ken still had to announce the sale to his employees and remove his personal belongings.

Ken left his attorney’s office and went to the credit union where he deposited his check into an account that was solely in his name. He knew the dangers of putting this money where his wife Jo had access to it. During the course of their marriage Ken had learned if he made a dollar she’d spend a dollar ten. If he didn’t have his secret accounts and investments they’d have been bankrupt long ago. His wife and daughters were certainly material girls and this was his way of protecting them from an uncertain future.

Ken returned to the office and picked up the company car. Ken could count on one hand the number of times in the last decade when he had driven in the city. He thought it curious the way things were occurring to him today that he’d overlooked before. He decided to drive down the lakeshore highway and have lunch then perhaps do a little exploring.

It had continued to warm up as the day progressed so Ken drove with the windows open. The smell of the water and the air sweeping through his hair made him feel alive for the first time in years. Ken stopped about forty minutes from the city at a small restaurant overlooking a small lake. He had a sandwich and coffee before setting out to return to the city. On an impulse and in no hurry to return to the city he turned into the little lakeshore community.

It was a pleasant little place with picturesque local shops in a quaint downtown. He turned off the main street to circle back around and found himself on a quiet street next to the lake. The homes here were quite nice and probably overpriced. It happened when he rolled up to a stop sign at a T intersection.

There was Jo’s car parked in a driveway and she was going to the front door of the second house just beyond the intersection. Another woman came out and they embraced and exchanged a passionate kiss. Ken was stunned and did not hear the car pull up behind him. There was a polite little honk and Ken pulled into the intersection turning right. He went down the street and turned around and came and parked so he had a view of the house. He noted the street name and address and took a picture of the lakefront home. He sat wondering what to do. His emotions were in turmoil.

He and Jo had not had sexual relations since the birth of their youngest daughter. After a few years of wooing his wife he had given up and resigned himself to a sexless life. He had been faithful to Jo and now felt like a fool. He didn’t know whether to be angry or sad. He sat there for almost two hours until Jo came out with her friend. They exchanged another passionate embrace which Ken recorded on his cell. Jo got in her car and drove off. The other woman went back into the house.

Ken was deciding what to do next when the garage door opened and the other woman drove out. Ken followed her. She parked downtown and went into a trendy shop named Jo-Jill Fashions. Ken was able to capture a photo of the woman and took a photo of the shop. He then drove back to the office. It was barely four o’clock when Ken arrived. He went directly to his office and closed the door.

Ken called his friend Dave Payne who was a divorce attorney. They rode the same train and talked often and during football season went to a vets bar to watch games with some of the other regulars. Dave and his wife had been to the house for a Christmas get together, but unlike Ken, Jo did not like the couple so such visits were infrequent. Ken was put on a hold and a minute later Dave came on.

Hi Ken. What’s happening?

Ken answered, I have a problem I need your help with. Ken brought Dave up to date on what he had observed.

Dave said, I have a good investigator who I can have look into this for you. Depending on what he finds you can decide how to proceed. For the time being my advice is not to let Jo know what you have discovered.

Ken said, I can do that. How long will the investigation take?

Dave said, In this case you’ve discovered a lot. I think within a week we should have enough information that we can meet. How about we set a tentative appointment for ten next Friday?

Ken replied, I will see you then.

Ken left his office to catch the early train. This afternoon he would get home early. On the walk from the station Ken was lost in thought. It seemed to him that everything was changing. He arrived to an empty house. He was usually a neat freak but today he threw his jacket on the entrance hall chair.

He stood there wondering what to do. It was unlike anything he would normally do; he took the opportunity to snoop. He realized that in each of the women’s closets were clothes that had never been worn with the tags still on them. He was at a loss because many of the expensive garments were of sizes too large or small for his wife and daughters. He also found jewelry still in boxes with the price tags on them.

Ken went to the kitchen and got a beer then went to the living room and sat on the sofa. He wondered how long his wife and the woman had been lovers. It suddenly dawned on him how naive he’d been. When he finished his beer Ken ordered Chinese food for delivery. Jo hated Chinese food and even detested the odor of it. He ate the food and purposely did not clean up the leftover cartons but left them on the kitchen counter. He went into the family room and turned on the TV. He fell asleep.

Ken woke up to the garage door opening. He looked at the clock. It was almost six thirty and normally he would still be on the train. Jo came in from the garage.

Her first words were, This place smells awful. You didn’t clean up after you ate Ken.

Ken said, You’re the housewife Jo.

He pretended to be involved in watching the TV program that was on but in reality he was seeing things as though through new eyes. He could hear Jo cleaning up the mess he’d left. She didn’t say anything but she was slamming things around. Ken realized Jo expressed her anger in passive aggressive ways. The girls came home and greeted their mother. None of the three came in to say hello to their father. It was then that Ken realized he was the stranger who lived with them; the one they avoided. He was the one they tolerated because he brought home the paycheck. It was pitiful. He was pitiful. What had happened to him?

The next morning Ken got out of bed early as was his routine even on Saturdays like this one. He shaved and showered then went for a long walk. The girls would not be up until nine then by ten they’d be ready for the mall. It was a Saturday ritual of shop until you drop.

Ken decided today would be a first. He would not go with them. He walked to the bank and withdrew cash. He remembered a time when banks were not open on Saturday and wondered how many other such changes he hadn’t paid attention to. On the walk home he whistled. It was something he hadn’t done in years. He wondered why all of a sudden he had this nonchalant attitude. He decided he didn’t care because he liked the feeling.

Ken arrived home at ten after nine. The girls were preening in preparation for their ritual Saturday outing. The recurring thought came to Ken that they really were material girls. Of his three girls Alex, Liz and Connie only Connie was still at university. Alexandra had been born less than a year after Ken had graduated from high school.

Ken thought about his two girls who had already graduated university and spent their days playing golf or tennis, shopping, or lounging around the pool at the country club. They thought that their job was to find a husband. Ken determined to soon disabuse them of that notion. It wasn’t that he wanted to be malicious but that he had just realized the girls lived in a glass bubble sheltered from the realities of life. That was not a good thing. They needed a reality check for their own good.

Ken went out on the back deck with a glass of lemonade and sat there enjoying the early spring sunshine. He’d been sitting there for about twenty minutes when Liz stuck her head out the door and asked, You aren’t going dressed in jeans are you? You’d better get ready.

Ken said, No.

Liz had assumed the answer she wanted to hear and the negative response had not registered. Ken continued to sit on the deck. He was left in peace for another fifteen minutes. He was enjoying being alone.

Connie came out, You’d better get ready dad.

Ken said, I don’t think so.

Connie more or less ignored the answer and went inside. Ken stayed where he was. He almost fell asleep when Jo came out with Alex, Liz and Connie. She stood there with her hands on her hips.

Jo said, It’s time to go. Why aren’t you ready? The girls need some new clothes.

Ken said, I’m not going. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. He gave five one hundred dollar bills to each of his daughters and said, Have a good time.

Jo asked, What about me?

Ken said, I thought it was the girls who you said needed new clothes?

Jo put out her hand. Ken smiled and gave her five one hundred dollar bills. It would be the last time.

Jo asked, Is that all?

Ken said, Yup. You’ve just about cleaned me out.

Jo shrugged and left with the girls. Ken realized that all these years all he’d had to do was provide the women with money. They didn’t really want him along on their shopping trips. He was just a necessary accessory. He had not even paid attention to what they were buying. Looking at it with his new perception he realized he had wasted a lot of time catering to four females who didn’t really care about him.

When he heard the women leave in Jo’s car he went inside and to his office. He called the credit card companies and drastically reduced the authorized balances on the joint cards. His snooping in the closets had made him curious and he had the records necessary to satisfy that curiosity. One thing about Ken was that he was meticulous about his paper work. He went to his office closet and pulled out the file storage box containing his charge slips for the last ten years. They were filed by month and year. He took the current file from his desk drawer and added it to the box. He pulled up the spread sheet program on his office computer and started calculating. The amount the woman had spent over the last decade shocked Ken.

Ken sat there looking at the figure thinking just how blind he’d been. He printed the results and added the sheets to the box of receipts. He then took the box and put it in the trunk of his car. He took the spare car keys from the kitchen and pocketed them.

Ken drove to the bank’s main branch and got into their joint safety deposit box. He put the documents and other contents into his briefcase and that too went into the trunk of his car. During the entire process Ken was thinking about how naive and blind he’d been all these years. Where did he get the idea just because he was celibate Jo was as well?

The women were gone until evening when they showed up loaded down with packages. Jo came into the family room where Ken was watching the national news.

Jo asked, Ken are you in financial trouble?

Ken noted it wasn’t are we but are you. Ken wondered how many such clues he had missed over the years. He answered, No. Why?

Jo said, I didn’t have enough balance left on one of my cards and had to use a second.

Ken noticed she had said my cards but his financial trouble. It gave him further insight into her entitlement thinking. He knew where the girls got that attitude.

Ken replied, That will be resolved when they get the check to pay off the balance.

Ken was thinking he’d pay them off and close them out.

Jo said, Are you sure?

Ken said, Yes I’m certain.

Jo left and Ken dwelt on the obvious reality. It did not matter how much money his wife or the girls had it would never be enough. They were divorced from reality and he had not warned them that the money tap could run dry. He was responsible for their total lack of responsibility. Worse yet, he had allowed them to grow up emotionally distanced from him. It was then he realized he did not have a relationship with his daughters and probably never would now. They were too much their mother’s daughters. They, like her, were self-absorbed and self-centered.

Ken retired early and on Sunday he went to the country club early and played a round of golf. He realized he had not really enjoyed golf for a couple of years and it was mainly because the guys he golfed with saw it as a way to business network. After the round he put his clubs in the car. He ate lunch at the club then went home. He was alone until early evening. He had no idea where the women were and he realized he didn’t care. They were not the only ones who were emotionally distant. He wondered why he was then put it out of his mind.

On Monday Ken was in the office quite late. He had driven into the city. His Mercedes was seven years old but only had a little over forty thousand miles on it. Ken got to thinking about how many cars he could have bought with the money spent by his wife on clothes and jewelry over the last decade.

At the office Ken arranged to have a general staff meeting called for Tuesday morning at ten thirty. Ken didn’t have work to do but he did have business to take care off. He called Dave about the credit card receipts and what he’d learned and suspected. He also told him about the document he’d signed when he and Jo had married. Dave wanted Ken to bring his signed copy and it was then that it occurred to Ken this was a bomb hidden away all these years waiting to be dropped. It was just that someone else had expected to drop it. Ken arranged to drop the box and the document by Dave’s office and did.

Ken did not go back to the office but called and said he wouldn’t be back until the morning. Ken drove the three plus hours to the little City of Quiet Lake where his family had lived when he was a child. He hadn’t been there in years and he didn’t know if it was impulse or just that he could think of nothing else to do. He did need time to think. It was one of those beautiful spring mornings when a man driving the highway with the windows open could feel free from the realities of life.

Ken owned property in Quiet Lake. Ken’s grandparents had left the property to him when they’d passed away so long ago. Ken had spent his childhood summers with his grandparents at the lake. The only good memories from his childhood were vague memories that he’d had happy times there.

His family had been furious that the property was left to Ken. When Ken turned eighteen and refused to sign it over to them they had disowned him. Ken seemed to remember there had been a mysterious fire and the cottage had burned to the ground. The structure probably hadn’t been worth much and neither had the land back then. Ken had kept it for sentimental reasons. He just couldn’t let go of it.

Jo didn’t know about this place and it wasn’t by intent. Ken realized he’d bottled up a lot of hurt and except for paying the annual tax bill and semi-annual bill for cleanup and brush cutting that came to the office, he’d suppressed all thoughts of it and his family. He wondered why it was he could put his past entirely out of his thoughts and had no specific memories about his past. He pushed that thought down. He would later realize there was a price to pay for the numbing.

The sign announcing he was entering the City of Quiet Lake was new and stood out. It never ceased to amaze Ken why they called small communities cities. They were often more like towns or even villages in some parts of the country. Ken had not been here for many years and the place had changed. It was brighter and well kept. Even in early spring the place was bustling and the main street was filled with shoppers. The quaint old buildings had been refurbished and new ones built. By accident or design the new buildings all seemed to fit with the design of the old buildings. It all looked like something out of the early twentieth century except for the modern cars and clothes.

Ken drove through town and to his land. He was surprised to find the county road to his land was lined with new houses on the lake side. Two miles outside of the City the road dead ended at Ken’s property. There were several cars parked in front of the gate blocking it so Ken could not unlock it and drive up his lane.

Ken parked and locked his car then walked up the lane. He was thinking about how long it had been since he’d been there and it occurred to him that it had been decades. The brush had been kept trimmed back from the road and the underbrush had been cut. When Ken got to the site where he remembered the cottage had been the grass was up to his ankles. He heard laughing and screaming and walked toward the lake where he saw some young adults swimming.

Ken stood watching them. He wondered if his family had been like that when they lived here. He couldn’t remember and his thought train was interrupted when he realized a young man had noticed him and was coming out of the water. The young man was barefooted and wore baggy bathing trunks that were the style the young men preferred these days. The trunks were dripping.

The young man said, This is private property.

Ken said, I know. I own it. That means you are trespassing. I’m going to have lunch. When I come back I expect you and your friends to be gone and your cars not to be blocking my gate.

The young man very politely asked, What’s your name sir?

Ken said, "To you, I’m Mr. Jerome.

The young man said, I’m sorry Mr. Jerome. I help my father keep the place cut back. It’s just that this is such a nice place and no one ever uses it. We meant no harm.

Ken said, I understand. I will be using it in the future so you are no longer going to have free run of the place.

The young man said, Yes sir. I’m Kyle Warren sir. He offered his hand and Ken shook it.

Ken put two and two together as he said, I’m pleased to meet you Kyle. Warren Landscaping has been doing work on my land for a very long time and I’ve never actually met your father. You’ll have to introduce me sometime.

Kyle said, It will be my pleasure sir.

Ken turned around and walked back up the hill to the former cottage site. The view of the lake from here was magnificent. Ken decided there and then he’d build a new place and live here. This was where his roots were. At the time he did not understand the subconscious motivation that prompted his decision or the price he would pay for that decision.

Ken drove back into the little city and found a diner on the main street. He remembered that the street was appropriately named Shop Lane. Ken parked his car a small distance from the diner and walked to it. People greeted him as he walked and he returned their greetings. This friendly welcoming caused Ken to smile. It was a pleasant change from the cold and aloof city dwellers. It occurred to Ken that in the city it was as though everyone pretended no one else existed and the city was their own personal world.

Ken noticed the big sign that announced this was Grandma’s Diner. He went in and looked around. It was too early for lunch and too late for breakfast so he had a lot of choices and chose a booth where he could see people passing on the street. He was the only one in the diner and took a seat and a waitress came to his table. She wore a broad smile and carried a coffee pot.

The woman was very attractive who Ken guessed was in her early thirties. She was not exactly pretty or beautiful but very good looking. He thought the phrase handsome woman came to mind. She exuded an innocent sexuality that was almost overpowering. Ken realized she knew the effect she had on men. He supposed the male customers always left her a good tip and the women resented her.

She smiled at him and asked, Coffee honey?

Ken couldn’t help but smile, Please.

The woman poured and said, You’re new here.

Ken said, Not really. I’m just an old timer returning after a long absence.

The woman said, I’m Beverly, and offered her hand.

Ken shook it and said, I’m Ken.

Beverly asked, How long you been gone?

Ken smiled and replied, Over two decades.

That explains it.

Ken asked, What do you mean?

The response came, I moved here with my family eighteen years ago from up the road in Milton. I didn’t remember ever seeing you and I’m good with faces.

Ken nodded.

Beverly said, You must have been young when you left.

Ken said, Yes. I was eighteen when I left.

Beverly asked, Will you be moving back with your family?

Ken thought there was motivation behind that question. He could hardly believe the motivation might be what he thought. No it’s just me. What Ken said next came out without thought. It was something he would not normally have asked. Do you flirt with all your male customers?

Beverly laughed, Pretty much. I like people and after a while most of the guys get that it’s innocent but they still like it and there’s always just a little hope. Know what I mean?

Ken said, Yes. You exude a sexuality that most men would find irresistible.

Beverly smiled and said, You are the first one who ever said that to me.

Ken said, Yeah but you know it’s true.

Beverly said, Can I get you something to eat?

Ken recognized he’d scared Beverly. She was not used to being understood and obviously found it uncomfortable. She’d retreated within herself to a secret walled off place. Ken placed his order. He felt bad because Beverly was suddenly not quite so outgoing and he had not meant to offend her. Ken had a fleeting thought wondering if he had a secret walled off place within. He shivered and put the thought