Goldman's Bulldog Presents Series

"Nobody Knows Evolution!: Bulldogs, Rottweilers and the Intelligent Designers" unifies science, religion and mysticism in a way that is sure to irritate everybody! "Nobody! drags Darwin's theory kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century. It's a hole-in-one!" Nobody teeing off at the Darwin Golf Club "Evolution for idiots!" Nobody on the Board of Education "You mean idiots for evolution!" Nobody in "The Idiot in Rural Society" "Of course it's science. You can't make this stuff up." Nobody at the American Association for the Advancement of Science "You can't?" Nobody at Fox News "Nobody! unifies science, religion and mysticism by insulting God…and praising bad breath? Give me a break!" Nobody at Listerine Antiseptic Mouthwash "Who'd have thought we'd ever have a common enemy? Nobody!" Nobody at the Creationists vs. Scientists Annual Hardball Game "Science humor is the sword!" Nobody at Bic Pens "Nobody! thinks like a microbe--and that's supposed to be a good thing?" Nobody at The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders "If idiots can form an intelligent network, then why do intelligent people seem to form idiot networks?" Nobody in the US Congress "The problem is with democracy itself--the vote turns intelligent politicians into idiot on-off switches that can't change their connection weights." Nobody at Unemployed Students for a Democratic Society "You're only as smart as you have to be; intelligence isn't free!" Nobody at the Dollar Intelligence Store "'Altruism is a natural by-product of selfish networked individuals?' Just thinking about it gives me a headache!" Nobody at Bayer Fast-Dissolving Aspirin "If we build it, they will go! Microbes in space! Seed the universe!" Nobody at NASA "Let the Bac be with you! Hiccup! God is Bac!" Nobody at The Cristal Cathedral "We don't believe that merging science with literary satire is what C. P. Snow had in mind." Nobody reading The Two Cultures

“You can read it as a book of Twainian essays or as an existential novel with Nobody! as the anti-hero!” Nobody in Algeria “Or you can read it like the dime-store philosophy that it is!” Nobody at the Five and Dime “Who would’ve thought to make Bohr, Godel, and Schrodinger the heroes of an existential novel? Nobody!” Nobody in Paris, Texas “You know that a fad has ended when it’s been reduced to satire. Existentialism is dead!” Nobody in Tombstone “Nobody! can say things that bodies can’t say!” Nobody on Boot Hill “It’s not science humor. It’s that hot new genre fiction non-fiction!” Nobody at the School for Modern Fiction Writers “When will Nobody! be apologizing on Oprah?” Nobody in Chicago “Nobody! puts the fiction back on the science shelf where it belongs!” Nobody at Fiction Science Magazine

“Nobody! is the Rube Goldberg of popular science!” Nobody at The New Yorker “A pie in the face of consciousness!” Nobody at Soupy Sales “Soupy Sales meets Mr. Wizard!” Nobody at Harry Potter’s Pea Soup (“Make sure you eat it before it eats you!”) “Funny serious, not seriously funny!” Nobody at Serious Fun Anonymous “Nobody! is completely organic. He makes lemons out of lemonade!” Nobody at the Organic Citrus Growers of America “Twinkies for madeleines! Nobody! is the Proust of popular science!” Nobody at 21st Century Twinkies “Pasties for peasants! Nobody! is the Shakespeare of popular science!” Nobody at Pasty Central “We’re absolutely certain that popular science doesn’t need a Salvador Dali!” Nobody at the Broadway opening of Hello, Dali! “Popular science as literature? We think Nobody! is a quack! Let’s send him a Duck Commander.” Nobody at Duck Commander “A hybrid mix of Jonathan Swift and evolutionary science? We always suspected that Nobody! was a science Yahoo!” Nobody at Yahoo! Science “We thought that Nobody! was going to explain consciousness--not whack it!” Nobody at Folsom Prison “Makes you embarrassed to even have a consciousness!” Nobody at Consciousness Anonymous “Perhaps, we should make consciousness illegal.” Nobody in Washington D.C.

No area of modern science deserves the "Nobody Knows!" treatment more than the cosmological triumvirate of string theory, M-theory and quantum gravity--controversial, modern big bang theories that have dominated physics for over a generation now. These are scientific theories where everybody agrees that "Nobody Knows Anything!" so it's hard to be original. In response, Nobody! "takes it to the end of the line" in Nobody Knows the Big Bang!--a direct challenge to the Stephen Hawking books, A Brief History of Time and The Grand Design (written with Leonard Mlodinow). Nobody! looks to the works of the great British scientist Sir Fred Hoyle for more imaginative answers to the questions about the origin and evolution of the universe (or multiverse), and then supports those views with the most up-to-date evidence. Nobody Knows the Big Bang! includes the many imaginative alternatives that are currently available to the big bang theory--a marvelous theoretical cornucopia explained in short essays that the man or woman in the street can easily understand. As always! “Clearly the waste product of one of those monkeys attempting to type the complete works of Shakespeare.” Nobody at Save the Typing Chimps “During its golden age, the universe was a game of billiards. Apparently, the universe lost.” Nobody at the Billiard Congress of America “The Bob Dylan of popular science writes again.” Nobody on Maggie’s Farm “String theory as Orwellian cosmology?” Nobody on Animal Farm “Where scientists have long failed, Nobody! has successfully extracted sunbeams from cucumbers. All we need now is a new battery to store them in.” Nobody at the Grand Academy of Lagado “Nobody! believes that genies should be kept in bottles--except for Barbara Eden, of course!” Nobody at the American Genie Bottling Company “‘Imagination in a tight straitjacket!’” Nobody in Arkham Asylum “A Nobody! book is a quantum object. It invites all possible interpretations!” Nobody at Barnes & Noble Booksellers (“The Universe...in Books!”) “Hoyle without rules--who’d have thought?” Nobody reading Hoyle’s Rules of Games “You get Mr.Wizard, but you want Roxy Hart!” Nobody at the American Hart Association “Unfilmable!” Nobody at Variety “What’s easier to believe--that Nobody! is a genius, and the universe is stupid; or that Nobody! is stupid, and the universe is a genius?” Nobody in The Genius Universe “There does seem to be one silver lining. In an infinite universe, every idiot will have their day.” Nobody at Idiots Anonymous “In an infinite universe, every possible violation of Occam’s razor will occur an infinite number of times.” Nobody sharpening Occam’s Infinity Razor “The Supreme Court has already ruled that free will exists (United States v. Grayson, 1978). Maybe we should just make it illegal to promote the idea of a multiverse without citing evidence and leave it to the courts to decide!” Nobody in Washington D.C.