Restless Mind

Restless Mind

By JoAnna Santanen

Copyright 2009 JoAnna Santanen

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This novel is dedicated to my family and friends who encouraged me throughout the writing and publication process. Without their love and support, I could not have found the words.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

About the Author

Other Books by this Author

The View From The Fishbowl: Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jenna opened her eyes slowly, and the pain came rushing in. She closed her eyes again and listened as the room was filled with the beeps and pulses of medical equipment. Jenna was unable to speak as the pain in her head and arm were too overwhelming. As she tried to move, Jenna realized that she was attached to several cords and tubes.

She let out a cry in agony and before she knew it, a woman’s voice, calm and warm like a grandmother giving out cookies, said, Relax, Sweetheart, I will give you something for the pain. The woman, Jenna’s nurse, gave her an injection of pain medication in her I.V. Jenna faded back into sleep again quickly.

When Jenna woke again, she was surprised, and relieved, to find that she was not in as much pain as she was the last time she had regained consciousness. She looked around the hospital room. The space was different than the place she had previously woken in. This room was larger, with its own little bathroom and a bench under a sunny window. The walls were white, as was the bedding, and the room was bright and eerily cheery on this summer day. Jenna felt around in the bed until she found the call button for assistance and pressed it.

A few moments later, a woman in navy blue scrubs entered the room. She was slightly plump in the midsection, but generally fit, with short brown hair and thin, wire-rimmed glasses in front of warm brown eyes. Jenna assumed she had never seen her before, but when the woman spoke, she recognized the voice that had helped her with her pain.

Oh good, you’re awake! How do you feel? Are you in a lot of pain? My name is Bridgett. I have been taking care of you the past few days. The woman approached Jenna and began checking the various machines at the head of the bed.

Um, my head and arm are still hurting but not as bad as they were before. Jenna muttered as she reached up to her left temple with her right arm, as her left arm was in a sling, and felt that her head was covered in a large bandage. She could tell that the left side of her face was swollen, as it was difficult to open and close her left eye. Do you know what happened to me? The last thing I remember was leaving my friend Debbie’s house… Jenna trailed off, as Debbie entered the room, impeccable timing as usual.

Debbie looked as though she hadn’t slept in days. Dark circles appeared under her big brown eyes and her dark chocolate-colored hair was disheveled where it was usually perfectly curled upwards in a flip above her slender shoulders. She was a naturally thin woman with a near-perfection figure. She was quite pretty, with arched eyebrows and a big smile. She wore tight dark jeans and a black short sleeved tee shirt with black sandals. The expression on her face as she entered the room was a cross between delight, worry and relief.

Thank God! I thought you weren’t ever going to wake up! You scared the hell out of me, Jen! Debbie hurried from the door over to Jenna’s bed and leaned over to give her hug. I was so worried. You had just pulled away from the curb when that truck t-boned the passenger side of your car in the intersection right in front of my house! He must have been doing better than fifty through my neighborhood!

Was he drunk? Jenna asked as she reciprocated Debbie’s hug. Debbie sat down in the chair next to the bed. Debbie tightly grasped Jenna’s hand, obviously grateful to see that her friend was alright.

I am sorry to interrupt, but was there something else you needed, Sweetheart? Bridgett asked with a smile.

Oh, um, no. I just figured I should let you know that I was awake, I guess. Jenna said, unsure as to why she had pressed the call button in the first place.

Ok, well, if you need anything, just press that button. I will come back to give you your pain medication shortly. Bridgett said as she exited the room.

Debbie continued, Yes, he was drunk. I heard the crash and ran outside and saw that you had been in a pretty bad accident. I screamed for James to call 9-1-1 and ran to see if you were okay. When I got to the car, I saw that you had broken the window with your head! There was blood all over you and you were passed out. I thought for a minute…that you were, um… Debbie paused, tears welling up in her eyes, her voice cracked a little as she tried to finish her sentence.

Dead? Jenna asked. You should know that you’re not going to get rid of me that easily, Dee. Jenna said with a little smile.

I am just so happy that you are okay. I haven’t left the hospital, except to sleep for a couple of hours yesterday, since your accident. I was just terrified, absolutely terrified. Debbie closed her hand tightly around Jenna’s, almost to the point of pain, to emphasize her relief. That son of a bitch who hit you better rot in jail. He was totally fine, with not a scratch on him! Of course, he was driving a huge truck. I asked him if he was alright and he stunk of beer. He was so wasted he didn’t even try to leave or anything. He just sat down on the curb and talked to himself. Fucking scumbag. Anyway, he was arrested when the cops showed up, but I didn’t really pay much attention because you were being taken in the ambulance by that point, and I left the boys with James and rode in the ambulance with you to the hospital. Debbie took a big breath, as she was talking very fast, trying to relay all the information as quickly as possible.

Well, I am sure he will get what he deserves. Jenna said flatly. So, have you seen what’s under this bandage? Am I going to be scarred for life? I can tell my face is swollen on one side because my eye is hard to open. Jenna said as she pulled her hand from Debbie’s clutches and gently touched her face, probing through the bandages to feel the massive wound underneath them.

I have watched them change your bandage a few times, and while it seems pretty bad right now, I bet it will heal up just fine. The gash is above your eyebrow so at least you won’t go around with a scar through your eyebrow like Vanilla Ice or something. Jenna chuckled at Debbie’s remark.

Well thank God for that! I don’t think I could take myself seriously if I had to go out looking like that! Wait, wasn’t his shaved? Jenna and Debbie shared a giggle. Then Debbie looked Jenna right in the eye and said, "I am just so happy that you’re alright. I have been worried sick. I just can’t imagine my life without you, Jen.’

Well, luckily, you won’t have to. Jenna replied confidently.

I called Vanessa at your office and told her what happened. She’s said she will take care of your listings for you until you are well. You should call her when you’re up to it…And, um, listen, I wasn’t sure how you would feel about this, but I called Elijah. Debbie said tentatively.

Dee, you know I was going to break up with him! Why would call him? I want to widen the gap between him and I, not tighten it! Jenna turned her head away from Debbie like a spoiled child not getting her way.

I just thought he would want to know about this. I mean, you’ve been unconscious for three days. That’s pretty serious. I thought he had a right to know. Debbie tried to stand behind her decision. Besides, he has come by here every night after work to check up on you. I think he really cares about you. Debbie waited impatiently for Jenna to respond.

After a brief moment of silence, Jenna took a deep breath, filling her lungs completely, and as she turned her head back towards Debbie she said, I suppose if you really think that I should let him stick around for a while, I could give him another chance.

Good. Its like I said the other day, you have to get to know the person before you can decide whether it will be a good relationship. You can’t immediately judge a person after only dating for a couple of months.

Are you telling me I am judgmental while I lay here in a hospital bed, with a broken arm and a gash over my eyebrow looking like something the cat dragged in that’s been dead for a week? Jenna opened her mouth in astonishment as though she was surprised by Debbie’s criticism.

Well, if I won’t tell you, who will? Besides, I told you all of this the day of your accident. Don’t act so surprised. Debbie said as she looked down towards her sleeve and plucked a bit of lint from her black v-neck top.

You did? I don’t remember talking about Elijah. I remember leaving your house, but, then again, that whole day is a little fuzzy right now. Jenna looked up at the ceiling trying to recall the details of the day.

I am sure that it will come back to you eventually. You were out for days so I am not surprised that you don’t remember. Isn’t it common for the brain to block out traumatic things? Debbie tried to reassure her friend.

I guess so. I am going to call that nurse back in here. I need more pain meds. My head hurts pretty badly. Jenna started fumbling around for the call button.

Well, we should get your doctor in here too. He should examine you know that you’re awake. Debbie stood up to see if the nurse was coming. Bridgett entered the room with a smile on her face.

I was just about to head in here when you called. I have your medication and I have told your doctor that you’re awake now. He should be in coming in a few minutes. Bridgett said as she administered the medication in Jenna’s I.V. Jenna felt the effects of the drugs immediately. Her eyes became heavy and her mind slowed as the narcotic pulsed through her veins. Jenna thought to herself, I can really see why people get addicted to this stuff.

Feeling better, Dear? Bridgett asked.

Um, yeah, much better, thanks. Jenna mumbled, obviously more relaxed than before.

Good then, Hon, your doctor will be with you shortly. I am just right down the hall if you need anything. Before I go, are you hungry? We should really get some food in you.

Jenna didn’t feel any hunger at all. I am not really hungry. I guess something that I can eat later would be fine, though. I should probably eat. Jenna said slowly and without inflection.

I will send some food in for you then. Do you best to eat and drink when you are ready. Bridgett fluttered out of the room like a butterfly riding a summer breeze.

She’s really nice, don’t you think, Jen? Debbie asked, noticing her friend was not as aware of her surroundings any longer.

Yeah, I really lucked out getting her huh? Jenna replied.

Oh, and your doctor, by the way, is totally cute in that older man sort of way. Debbie mentioned.

Dee, you are always trying to find me a man. I’m only twenty-five. I don’t need a man yet. Jenna squinted at her friend as Debbie appeared blurry to her.

I am just living vicariously, I guess. I mean, I have been married for four years. I can look at the menu, I just can’t order anything. Debbie quipped with a smile.

Oh, I see. And I am at a buffet over here, is that it? Jenna adjusted her blanket with her right hand and spoke with a heavy layer of sarcasm in her voice.

As they shared a laugh, Jenna’s doctor walked into the room. He wore khaki pants and a white shirt with a vivid blue tie under his white jacket. His leather shoes were shined to perfection. He appeared to be in his early fifties, with hair that has started to gray in the front, but still dark brown in the back. He combed his no-more-than-an-inch long wavy hair back out of his face with precision. His face was clean shaven, with bright blue eyes behind small, gold-rimmed glasses that sat far down on his nose so that he could look over them.

As he proceeded into the room, with Jenna’s medical chart in one hand, he announced his entrance. Without looking at Jenna or Debbie, he reached down for the stool stored under the edge of a countertop near the sink by the entrance of the room. He slid the stool across the floor and sat down.

Well, sounds like things are going much better in here. My name is Dr. Clark. He addressed Jenna with his head tilted down, peering over his glasses. His voice was deep and he had a commanding presence, like a well-liked school principal to elementary students.

You could say that. What’s the verdict, Doc, when I am getting out of here? Jenna was antsy to leave the hospital as she didn’t much like hospitals. They seemed to be a place where you only go if something bad has happened and she didn’t like that association whatsoever.

Well, let’s not jump the gun there. You are going to have to get used it. You will need to stay for observation for at least a day. You have just had a pretty traumatic injury. We need to make sure you’re doing well enough before you go home.

Alright, but please know it’s under protest. Obviously, I’m fine. Jenna said coldly, as she had an immediate distaste for her doctor. She couldn’t put her finger on it. She didn’t like him. He went on to discuss the details of her injury, which Jenna paid no attention to. Debbie began to ask questions to obtain as much information as she could about Jenna’s condition and the conversation became between the doctor and Debbie instead of Jenna and her doctor. Dr. Clark approached Jenna and began examining her injuries. Jenna looked away from him and starred out the window behind Debbie. She was trying to recall some memory, she wasn’t sure which, but it seemed to escape her grasp. She thought intensely as she felt as though she had forgotten something important but couldn’t remember. She became frustrated quickly and decided she would try to remember it later, when she wasn’t drugged.

Jenna refocused her attention to the conversation between her doctor and Debbie and their voices faded back into her awareness like the volume on the stereo had just been turned up.

You’ll have to wear that sling for four to six weeks, there, Kiddo. You’ll need to change your bandage everyday, too. Can you do that? He was smiling, but Jenna took his questioning her competence as a personal affront.

Of course, I can. Jenna furrowed her brow at her doctor to convey her irritation.

Okay, good. Well then, I guess I will be on my way. I will check in with you later. Dr. Clark seemed to sense that Jenna would prefer he leave. He scribbled some notes in her chart at the countertop by the door and exited the room without another word.

What’s the matter, Jen? You were kind of cranky with him. Debbie probed her friend’s face, seeing that something was bothering her.

I don’t know, Dee. I hate it when people call me Kiddo, and I just don’t like him. He reminds me of someone or something. I just can’t remember. I guess the meds are kicking in. Jenna replied.

Okay, well, I suppose it won’t matter in a day, anyway. I think I am going to head home and take a nap. I am exhausted. I just couldn’t leave until I was sure that you were alright. Debbie stood up from her seated position and pulled her shirt down over her hips, as it had crept up her narrow waist.

Thank you so much for watching over me. That really means a lot to me, Dee. I love you. Jenna reached her arms out for a hug from her friend.

I love you, too. Debbie replied as she bent over to give Jenna a hug. Debbie held Jenna tightly for a moment, and then wisped out of the room, smiling and waving good-bye as she left.

Jenna laid her head back on the not-quite-so-soft pillow, noticing how uncomfortable hospital beds are. Her legs felt stiff and her back ached a bit. She felt tired, despite the fact that she had just essentially slept for three straight days. She closed her eyes and relaxed. As she drifted off to sleep, she heard the sounds of children laughing in the distance. A feeling of peace came over her and she released her mind from the binds of wakefulness.

BACK TO TOP

Chapter 2

When Jenna opened her eyes again, Elijah was looking longingly at her. His face was beautiful, strikingly handsome, with his ocean blue eyes and angled jaw. His shaggy dark blond hair combed straight up and back, creating a dramatic wave at his temple. His style was much like you would see on the cover of a men’s magazine. He was wearing his work uniform, but somehow, he made the white button up shirt look as good as a Versace suit. Elijah’s muscular biceps seemed to be stretching the short sleeves, and his shirt was tucked into his navy slacks, complete with a black belt around his flat tummy. She saw behind his shoulder that it was dark outside now. She wondered how long she had slept. Elijah’s crystal blue eyes wrinkled as his lips curled into a coy half-mouthed smile, which oozed sex appeal.

Hey, you. He said quietly.

Hey you. Jenna blinked her eyes a few times as she sat up in bed a bit. Images of a distant dream she was having still swirling in her head. Elijah’s radiant face took a moment to come into clear vision.

Both of Elijah’s large hands were wrapped around Jenna’s right hand. He was leaning forward, sitting on the edge of the chair next to Jenna’s bed, pensively awaiting her consciousness.

How do you feel, Sweetie? He asked as he reached up to her face and moved a piece of her waist-long, golden-blond hair out of her face so he could look directly into her light brown eyes.

Um, a bit out of it. I just had the strangest dream. I don’t know, I guess I really can’t remember it, now. How weird.

Well, you got a pretty bad bump on your head. I am sure they have you on morphine too, Sweetie. Elijah’s tone reflected his feeling of competence in his knowledge of all things medical. He was a paramedic by trade and usually seemed to feel as though few knew as much as he did about the topic of medicine.

I guess I won’t have to worry about changing my bandage if I have you around. Jenna said with a little smile.

Damn right. I will take care of my girl. Elijah said confidently. His choice to reiterate his feelings that Jenna was his girl appealed to Jenna, even though she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

Good, I can’t do much of anything with my arm in this sling anyway.

I talked to your nurse and she said you might be released tomorrow. You could come and stay with me and I can take care of you, Sweetie. Elijah sounded hopeful that Jenna would agree.

That’s very sweet, but I just want to go home. I want my own bed. Jenna looked down, so as not to see Elijah’s disappointed eyes.

Okay, I understand. I can just come to your place after work and check up on you.

That would be very sweet of you. I guess I will have to give you a key since you don’t get off work until late and I might be sleeping. Jenna replied.

Don’t worry about that. I will call Debbie. She has a key, doesn’t she? I will get a copy from her. Elijah pulled out his cell phone and began scrolling through the list of phone numbers to find Debbie’s.

Jenna reached out and placed her hand over the screen on his telephone to stop him from proceeding further. Wait, don’t call her now. She hasn’t slept in days. She’s probably trying to get some rest right now. It’s pretty late, isn’t it? You know what? Just take my key and make a copy tomorrow. Elijah looked up and nodded. I think my purse is probably in one of those cabinets. Jenna pointed towards the cupboards near the sink. Elijah walked to the cabinets and began opening them until he found her purse. Jenna noticed how Elijah’s body made a fabulous V with wide shoulders and a narrow rear as he faced away from her. He turned around and brought Jenna’s purse to her. Jenna searched inside her purse for her keys and then handed them to Elijah, holding her house key separated from the others.

Elijah took the keys from Jenna and began removing her house key from the ring. Still looking down at the keys, he tilted his head as he said, I was pretty surprised when I got here and Debbie wasn’t here. That’s when I went and talked to your nurse and she told me you had woken up earlier. I am sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.

There’s no need to be sorry. I am fine. Jenna said with confidence.

I am really glad to see that you are doing better. I was pretty worried. I, um, care about you a lot. Elijah stumbled over the words, obviously scared Jenna might not reciprocate his feelings.

I care about you too. Jenna saw in his eyes that he was relieved. Elijah face lit up in a big smile as he leaned forward and kissed Jenna’s forehead.

Well, I better get home and get to bed, Sweetie. I am so happy you’re alright. Good night. Elijah stood up and started walking to the door.

Elijah, wait.

Yeah?

Come back over here. Jenna waved her arm as though she was scooping air towards her to motion for Elijah to return to her bedside. As he turned around, Jenna thought his face was as beautiful as a winter’s first snow.

Elijah walked back over to her and furrowed his brow, confused as to what Jenna was trying to communicate.

I want a real kiss. Jenna said as she smiled, looking up at him towering over her.

Oh, well in that case… Elijah trailed off as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jenna’s. He gently kissed her, sweetly and softly. It was the exact type of kiss Jenna had hoped he would give her, kind and caring. He lingered there for a moment, allowing Jenna to smell his citrus scent, before giving her a second peck on the forehead before he walked away from her.

Good night. Jenna held her right hand up as though she was taking an oath as she spoke to bid him farewell. Elijah smiled at her once more, his kind face beaming, before he left the room.

* * * *

After two more days in the hospital, Jenna was finally en route to her condominium. Debbie had come to pick her up from the hospital and take her home. Jenna had never felt so much anticipation to arrive home when they approached her front door. Jenna removed her house key from her purse and pushed it into the lock of her white front door.

I am so glad to be home! You have no idea! Now if I can just get a new car, I can go back to work. Jenna entered the foyer of the spacious apartment and placed her purse on the occasional table. As she set down her belongings, she looked at herself in the mirror that hung above the table. She reached up to run her fingers through her long hair as best she could with one hand. She slid her fingers over the bandage covering the wound on her forehead. She pulled her bright blue tee shirt down over her khaki shorts. She sighed deeply, and then turned to Debbie, who had proceeded to Jenna’s bedroom, setting down the tote bag full of items that Jenna had requested while she was in the hospital.

You’re so awesome, Dee. Thank you so much for taking care of me while I am practically helpless. I am so useless. I can’t wait to get this sling off. Jenna said gently moving her arm up and down inside the sling as Debbie exited the bedroom, turned the corner towards the back of the house, headed to the kitchen.

You need to take the time to heal. I have been talking to Vanessa and everything’s going just fine with your listings, so you can just kick back and have a break while you’re healing up. No work for you. Debbie said sternly.

Okay, okay. I know I am supposed to be off work. By the way, I talked to Vanessa yesterday and told her that I was going to split the commission with her on any houses she sells while I am out. She said she didn’t want to do that. She said she would do it for free because she just wants me to get better. Isn’t she so sweet? Of course, I insisted on splitting it with her. Money will be fine while I am off work since I sold my biggest listing last week.

That’s right, you told me the day of your accident. That’s so great! I am so happy for you. Your career is really taking off. I am sure it is because you’re so cool. Debbie replied with a wide smile across her face.

You’re so funny. I just get lucky, I think. I mean, the real estate market is pretty competitive and I doubt I do things much differently than any other agent would. Jenna said humbly.

Don’t be ridiculous. You are successful because you are one awesome bitch, no butts about it. Debbie said with conviction as she entered Jenna’s kitchen. The room was remodeled by Jenna shortly after she moved in a year ago. The walls were the calm shade of dark lime green, with a white and green vine-patterned tile backsplash. The cabinets were white with an inlay center and shiny silver knobs. The towel on the counter was royal blue, as was the rug on the floor. The sink was stainless steel, and appliances were black. As Jenna followed Debbie into the kitchen she noticed the room smelled of the sweet smell of the bright red fruit bowl on the counter, which still contained ripe fruit.

Wow, I thought this bowl of fruit would have rotted while I was gone. It seems like I have been in the hospital forever, but I guess five days isn’t that long. Jenna lifted an apple as she stood at the counter, but returned it to the bowl and turned around to look at Debbie, who was seated at the cherry-wood dining table on the other side of the eat-in kitchen.

You know, I gave Elijah a key. Do you see what you did? Now he has a key to my house and can just come over whenever the spirit moves him. Jenna lamented, gesturing with her right hand before she opened the refrigerator, removed a diet cola and placed it between her left arm and her chest, grabbing another with her right hand. Jenna walked across the room and placed one of the sodas on the table in front of Debbie, then the other on the table in front of the chair she planned to sit in. Jenna pulled the black chair out from the table and it made a squeak as it slid across the honey-colored hardwood floor.

Well, I didn’t intend for you to feel obligated to move forward with him, just not dump him for no good reason. Debbie retorted quickly.

I know. I just like to give you hell. Jenna chuckled and flipped her long golden hair over her slender right shoulder, draping it down her back.

Don’t I know it! Debbie laughed loudly, clearly enjoying her time with her friend.

Oh, complete change of subject. Are my pills from the pharmacy in that bag on my bed? I think its time for my medication.