Fresh Wounds

1988.

Chapter 1

Six thirty in the morning. Mug of coffee in hand, Liz sat on the veranda looking across the yard, to the corral and the fields beyond. She loved this time of day with the stillness around her, the spring sky already bright above her. She’d spent the last thirty minutes listening to her three eldest children chatter over breakfast. It was difficult for her to believe they would be ten years old on their next birthday in August. She remembered their birth like it was yesterday and remembered what Patti had said about popping babies like spring peas.

Smiling she looked to the barn where she could hear the horses as they were walked out by their riders. Lilly, the image of her mother with her father’s temperament, was first as usual. Closely followed by Paul Jacob Junior, or PJ as he now liked to be called. Then Mikey the fearless adventurer and finally Paul, the six feet five inch Texan cowboy she’d fallen in love with twelve years ago. Lilly and Mikey waved.

PJ trotted his horse towards her. We’ll be back in time for dinner, Mom! He called.

Have fun! she replied, touched that he felt the need to reassure her.

PJ turned the horse back towards the others and quickly caught up.

Looking at her devastatingly good looking husband, the smile lit her face. He took off his Stetson and waved it in her direction. She waved back. The four set off through the corral and north across the fields. Her heart swelled at the sight.

She was so lucky all the trauma in her life, before she came here, were distant memories that only surfaced in extreme circumstances. She used to get stressed easily, worried about what others thought of her and kept her feelings buried inside her. When she’d woken in the hospital in Newcastle, England, fourteen years ago, to Patti’s smiling face, all she could remember was pain and fear. She was told her spine and skull were fractured and she may not be able to walk. Devastation engulfed her and she withdrew into a black depression that she didn’t think she’d get out of. Patti had other ideas. She loved her like a sister and nursed her back to health.

Liz and Patti met at university. They both studied chemistry and biology and both received first class honours degrees. Then they were extremely lucky to get research fellows positions at Newcastle University. Liz had a house near Newcastle and Patti rented a flat nearby.

Liz had married when she was nineteen, but her husband was a violent bully. She endured three years of marriage, before finally divorcing James. He had tried to win her back, saying he had changed. He’d raped her and beat her, causing the fractures that put her life in danger. Thankfully by that point, Patti was sharing her house and saved her life.

Patti wanted to remove Liz from danger and the lonely existence she was facing. They’d spoken for hours about Liz never getting involved with another man, as long as she lived. Patti returned from a trip to her family home in Texas, with a plan. A plan to get Liz and her eldest brother together.

Paul was also hurting. He’d been left humiliated by his fiancée, who had been having affairs throughout their relationship. The final straw was when Paul returned home to find Rachel in bed with his brother Carl. Carl had been still drunk when Paul dragged him from the bed. Furious and hurt, Paul had broken his brother’s jaw and several ribs, before their father had managed to stop him hitting Carl.

Angry and bitter, Paul had vowed never to get into another relationship. Women swooned at his feet, so it would never be a problem to have one share his bed, when he needed release. The men who worked at the ranch tread carefully and gave him a wide berth, rather than suffering his wrath. The smallest error sent Paul into a rage that lasted for weeks at a time.

It was months before Paul and Carl started talking again. There was no choice, their father died and they had been left to look after the businesses. Paul the ranch and Carl the oil and construction.

Carl had explained that he’d had a row with his girlfriend Beth. He hadn’t known that Rachel was home, thinking she was still visiting her mother. He was shocked and confused when he was woken and dragged from Paul’s bed. Rachel had got him drunk.

He had married Beth, but they’d had problems, they couldn’t overcome and were divorced several months ago.

Sipping the coffee Liz twisted her face in disgust at the cold liquid. She realised she’d watched her husband and children ride out, over the ridge, until they disappeared, forgetting the coffee. She stood, stretched and went into the house.

Maria, their new housekeeper, was away visiting her son, daughter in law and new granddaughter, near Austin. Liz went into the kitchen to clear the breakfast plates into the dishwasher. They’d had breakfast in the kitchen and she smiled at the excitement of her children, going off to spend the day with their father. She picked up the ringing phone.

Hi Mom! It’s me Dave! Good morning, how are ya? The little boy said brightly.

Good morning Davie. I’m good, sweetheart. Are you having a good time? she smiled at his voice.

It’s great! Aunt Liv is going to take us to Fort Worth to get Uncle Alan’s birthday gifts.

Okay. You help look after your sisters and tell Suzy to behave herself.

Sure thing Mom. Did you need anything in Forth Worth?

No thank you sweetheart.

Gotta go! Love you Mom! the phone clicked off.

Replacing the receiver, Liz smiled.

Twins David and Suzanne were six years old and their little sister Angel three. They were staying with Liz’s cousin Olivia, who adored all the children. Unable to have her own children, Liv lavished love onto her cousins kids. She also spoiled them, unashamedly, taking care of them when Liz was unable to. She had become nanny to the children when Angel was six months old and Liz’s original nanny, Eva had left to get married. Liv and Alan lived in a seven bedroom house a mile from the Ranch house. But they would often spend the night at the main house, when the children were ill or when Paul and Liz had to be in Dallas.

Switching the dishwasher on, Liz again smiled. This time at the thought of the box of chocolates that would land in her lap, when her younger children returned from Forth Worth. They always brought her chocolates. Spoilt they may be, thoughtful they definitely were.

She went down the hall into the office and switched on the computer. She worked for a few hours, recording sales and purchases in the various ledgers. Eleven thirty and she had the idea of making a cup of tea. She stretched and walked towards the kitchen. The doorbell rang.

Hello Liz. I need to speak with you please. Rachel Fairchild looked anxious.

Liz stared at her. Why on earth would she come here, when there could be a chance Paul would be home. I don’t think this is a good idea, do you? Liz asked.

I’m sorry, but I’m desperate.

Come into the kitchen. Liz turned and walked away.

Rachel’s heals clicked on the marble floor.

Switching on the kettle, Liz turned to where Rachel was standing. Sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?

Yes please. Rachel looked nervous and on the point of tears.

Liz put two tea-bags into the pot and filled it with boiling water. She took a jug of milk from the fridge and put the sugar bowl on the island counter.

Rachel stared at her hands. Once the tea was poured, she took a tentative sip. This is different.

It’s Earl Grey. It’s my favourite, Paul has it imported from London for me. Liz was wondering what all this was about.

He always was the sweetest man. Rachel said.

The two women’s paths had crossed at various points over the years. They were both heavily involved in charity work and often met at fundraisers and functions. There had been an incident, several years earlier, when Paul refused to sell Rachel a horse. He had been angry that she had turned up at the Ranch. Liz had balled him out and told him his behaviour was appalling. Since then, he had been civil to Rachel, but never friendly.

What can I do for you Rachel? Liz asked, stirring sugar into her tea.

I need your help. Rachel looked at her.

Liz was shocked by the look of distress in her eyes. With which charity?

It’s not charity work. It’s my Son, Jacob. He has leukaemia. I need to find a bone marrow donor, before it’s too late.

I’m sorry to hear that. But I don’t understand where I can help.

The doctor said his biological father would probably be the best match. I’m not.

Liz was even more confused. I still don’t see where I would fit in.

Rachel took a drink from her tea, placing the cup back on the saucer, she chewed her bottom lip and looked, anxiously, at Liz. She swallowed hard. I need you to talk to Paul.

Why would I do that?

Because he’s Jacob and Stephen’s father.

Liz gasped and stared at Rachel. She closed her eyes, trying to decide if she’d just heard those words. Deciding that she had, she snapped her eyes open and glared at the other woman. Those boys are thirteen years old! she snapped. Would you ever have told him?

Rachel looked sheepish. No.

You callous, self centred bitch! Anger ran through Liz’s veins. How could you keep that from him? Especially after what you did.

He hurt me. I was just as humiliated as he was. I had to leave town and go live in Houston. Rachel also showed anger.

No, the humiliation was your own making. You were the one who chose to whore around.

Rachel stood up. I can see I’ll need to speak to Paul myself.

I didn’t say that. Liz sat on one of the stools at the island. How long does Jacob have?

He needs the marrow within the next ten days.

Liz sighed. I won’t be able to speak to him until late this afternoon.

Thank you, Liz. Rachel looked relieved.

Liz looked at her for a few seconds. You should be aware, that I will not influence his decision. You also need to consider the consequences of what you’ve done.

Consequences? Rachel looked surprised.

There are, at least, three people who are going to be very hurt and angry.

Rachel slowly nodded. I know. I’m sorry.

I’ve a feeling you’re going to find out what being sorry means. Liz tried to keep the venom from her voice.

Probably. But Jacob is sick and Paul is my only hope to save him.

I still think you’re a cold hearted, callous bitch, Rachel and I’ll never forgive you for hurting Paul. She took a breath to say more, then changed her mind. I think you should leave now.

Rachel left her phone numbers on a card on the island, then turned and left.

Liz stood on the porch and watched her drive out of the yard, before walking down the steps. Crossing the yard to the line of vehicles, she put her hand on the door of her Aston Martin, then changed her mind and walked a few paces to one of the ranch trucks. She drove the mile to Patti’s house.

Hey Mom! Aunt Liz is here! Marie called to her mother.

Patti turned from where she was kneeling, weeding the border of flowers that ran the length of the path to the front door.

Hey Liz! What’s up? Patti, stood and dusted the dirt from her jeans. Something wrong with the Aston?

Hi Patti. No, just didn’t feel like driving it today. Liz replied.

Lets have some tea, then you can tell me what he did this time. She grinned, knowing her brother and the look on her sister in laws face, it was something big.

No thanks. I came to ask if you can look after the kids tonight? Liz seemed preoccupied.

Sure I can. Wanna talk?

Not really. I just need some time with the Bear.

He’s upset you.

No he hasn’t. But what I need to say to him will set him off in a rage.

Patti gave her a suspicious look. "You’re having an affair?"

Don’t be stupid! Liz said, quickly. Why would I need to do that?

That’s the only thing you could do to set him into a rage.

Wheedle all you like, Pat. I’m not telling you until I’ve spoken to Paul.

Fine. Send the kids over for dinner.

Thanks.

Let me know if I need to keep them longer.

Chapter 2

Liz looked up from the book she’d failed to start reading, to see Paul and the kids riding through the corral. Looking at her watch, it was three thirty five. She watched as they gave the reins of their horses to Jake and Danny. The children ran to their mother.

Hey Mom! We had such a great day! Dad showed us how to lasso a cow! Mikey shouted.

They were calves! Lilly said, rolling her eyes at her brother.

Dad said I need to take ballet lessons. PJ said solemnly.

Liz bit her tongue to stop the laughter. Did he indeed? Don’t you pay any heed to him, PJ darling.

Why would he say that Mom?

You just remember, it’s okay to be built like a barn and still be gentle, sweetheart. She hugged him. Go get changed, kids you’re going to Aunt Patti’s.

The other two children hugged Liz before the three ran into the house.

What got them all fired up? Paul asked, pushing his Stetson higher on his head.

They’re going to Patti’s. Liz smiled. Her heart was thumping for two reasons. One, the sight of Paul still got her pulse racing and two she knew what she had to tell him would hurt.

Great. I’ll fill the spa bath! he grinned.

Go get cleaned up. I need to talk to you.

Something in her eyes made him suspicious. Have I done something wrong?

No.

He raised an eyebrow. "Have you done something wrong?"

No. We need to wait until the kids are out of earshot. She hugged him. I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee.

I’ll go and get changed. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. He went into the house.

So have I, Paul darling. So have I. She thought. She made fresh coffee.

Mom, we’re going over to Aunt Patti’s now. We’ll take our bikes, is that okay? PJ asked, pulling on the straps for his cycle helmet.

Yeah. Keep on the path though. Liz said. And stay together. Paul had a path installed that ran from the main house yard, passed Carl’s house and on to Patti’s. It was three quarters of a mile long and really only used by the kids on their bikes. The ranch had a lot of security and all the employees knew the children and helped keep them safe.

Sure thing Mom! Mikey called.

Love you Mom! Lilly shouted, running out the door.

It was another ten minutes before Paul appeared. So if the kids are at Patti’s, would you like to go out for dinner?

No thanks. I’ve got a casserole in the oven. She handed him a cup of coffee. Let’s go into the office.

He pulled a surprised face, but followed her.

She sat on the sofa and put her cup down on the table.

If this is about the business, it can wait until tomorrow. Paul said, sitting next to her.

It’s not. She took a deep breath and looked at him, thoughtfully. She’d played this over and over in her head all afternoon, but still couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

Liz, darlin’, it can’t possibly be that bad.

"I love you. You do know that, don’t you?" she looked into his eyes.

I do. He sounded suspicious.

I have to tell you this, but I want you to remember that I love you. Above all else. Okay?

Okay.

She took another deep breath. Suddenly unable to find the words, she looked at him, searching his face for an answer to an unasked question.

Liz, whatever it is, tell me. I’m starting to worry. He also sounded like he was losing his temper.

This is hard, because what I have to tell you is gonna hurt and I hate hurting you.

Oh God, please don’t tell me you’re having an affair. He got to his feet and turned his back to her.

Good grief! Why does everyone think I’d be capable of that? she said, irritated. Come and sit down, Bear, please.

He sat down and looked at her, waiting.

I had a visit from Rachel, this afternoon.

Rachel? He looked blank.

Fairchild.

The colour drained from his face. "You let that woman into my house?"

"Our house. Yes."

He made to stand up again, but she put her hand on his arm.

No wonder you’re so reluctant to tell me.

She sighed. Paul darling, this is really hard. I need you to listen to what I’m about to say. No interruptions, just listen. Okay?

He shrugged. Just get on with it.

She didn’t find it easy to come here. She didn’t have a choice.

She should know better.

Paul, please. Just listen. She stood up, sat on his knee and put her arms round his neck. One of her twin sons has leukaemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. She’s been tested, but she isn’t a match. The only other person would be his biological father.

So she wants all the men on the ranch tested?

Only one.

Carl?

You.

He blinked several times and looked at her like her hair had turned puce green. She didn’t just say that. Did she? He thought.

Paul darling, breathe. She pulled him into an embrace.

Why me?

She paid her friend to give her a sample of your last blood test. She had a DNA test done to be sure.

She stole blood from me? How?

Kelly Patten. The nurse who works at the clinic with Greg. She’s a friend of Rachel. So it was pretty easy for her to get the sample. Rachel has suspected for years. She used to put pins through the condom wrappers you kept in your drawer. She couldn’t understand why you insisted on wearing them, when you were getting married.

Liz darlin’, let me get up. He said, his voice quiet and calm.

Not on your life. Stay put.

Liz, please.

No. I need you to stay where you are. At least until you calm down.

Then we’ll be here forever.

She twisted on his knee until she was straddling his legs. She took his face in her hands and looked deep into his eyes. I love you. You remember that?

Yeah.

I know your hurt, angry, confused, upset and a whole load of other things. But you have to think about what I’ve told you. A young boy is dying. Your son. He needs you to put aside whatever feelings you have for his mother and concentrate on him. Understand?

Not really. I don’t understand. Why? Why did she do it?

"I don’t know. I don’t think she knows."

If he hadn’t been sick, she wouldn’t have told me. He sounded sad.

No. I don’t believe she would have. But that’s not important either. The important thing is your son needs you.

"I have son’s. Three sons. Our sons." He pulled her into an embrace and stood up.

Paul, sit back down.

Sorry angel, I can’t do that. He put her down and stepped passed her.

Paul Grayson, stay right where you are! she said firmly.

I have something to do.

Paul! I mean it. She went after him.

Using his longest walking stride, he made it out the door to the yard in twelve seconds. Liz had to run.

GRAYSON!! Get back here!! she yelled.

Paul reached one of the ranch trucks and jumped into the drivers seat. The keys were missing.

Liz caught up with him. Paul? Where would you go? You have no idea where she is.

Tears of frustration stung his eyes. He pounded the steering wheel, setting off the horn in loud bursts.

Danny, Jake and Manny ran from the barn to see where the noise was coming from.

Liz pulled the truck door open and took hold of his arms. Paul stop! The horses!

He looked at her. Tears streaming down his face. He nodded.

Liz? Danny, their lead horseman and ranch vet, was behind her.

It’s okay, Danny. We’re fine. Go look after the horses. Liz said, not taking her eyes from Paul.

Yes ma’am. Danny didn’t sound sure. So unsure that he didn’t move. He started to say something, but stopped.

Danny. Don’t make me say it again. Liz said, firmly.

Liz. I’m staying right here. He said, looking at his boss.

I’m fine. You’ve got three seconds to disappear, or I’ll fire you.

Danny turned and walked away.

Paul had his hands on top of the wheel and his forehead resting against his forearms.

Paul? Sweetheart. Come back into the house. Liz said gently.

I can’t. He whispered.

Yes you can. Come on darling. For me. Please?

He turned his head to look at her.

Her heart was breaking. She looked at her handsome cowboy, who seemed to have aged ten years in as many minutes. I need you to carry me. All that running locked my back.

He moved out of the truck and lifted her gently into his arms. He carried her back into the house. He took her into the lounge and sat on the sofa with her still in his arms. He looked into her eyes. You lied.

Sorry.

Is it hurting at all?

Not as much as the pain in my heart.

Times a thousand.

She knew what he meant. Like every other couple, they had rows and disagreements. They would hurt each other with words. They would argue over how bad their pain was by picking random numbers. Paul saying he was hurting fifty times more than Liz. Liz saying she hurt a hundred times more than Paul.

They sat in silence for almost an hour. Paul held her close, nestling her face in his neck.

Liz? He whispered.

I’m here, sweetheart.

How long have I got to get to the hospital?

Rachel said within the next ten days. She reached up and touched his face.

How do we tell the kids?

She sighed. We’ll find a way.

Which hospital?

All Saints Medical Center, Fort Worth.

I should go.

We’ll go in the morning.

I’ll go in the morning.

"We. We, Paul. We’re in this together."

"I’ll go in the morning."

Stop it Bear. She pulled out of his arms, turned and took his face in her hands. "We will go tomorrow. Remember what I said, before I told you?"

You love me.

I love you. We’re together, Paul. You threw, I caught you and I’m not letting you go.

I know.

Where were you going to go?

Carl. I need to speak to Carl.

Stay put. I’ll call him.

She walked to the phone and dialled the oilfield office. Looking at Paul as she did.

Carl Grayson. The deep voice on the other end of the line said.

Carl, it’s Liz.

Now?

Yeah.

Five minutes.

He’s coming? Paul asked.

Liz nodded. I’ll go get the coffee pot. She went off to the kitchen. More for the walk to ease her back, than to bring the coffee and cups. She heard the car screech to a halt and the door slam. Boots! she shouted, knowing Carl would scratch the hall floor if he left his cowboy boots on.

Yeah Mom! Carl called back, sarcastically.

She came out of the kitchen with a tray in her hands. I don’t even need to remind Angel to take her shoes off. I just had this floor polished. She chastised Carl as he stood aside to let her pass.

Paul was no longer in the lounge. Liz continued down the hall to the Den. He was holding a recent photo of the kids and Liz.

Hey Bro! Carl said, as brightly as he could.

Carl. Paul put the photo back on the Mantle shelf above the fire and turned to his brother.

Carl hugged him for a few minutes.

You know? Paul asked, quietly.

Liz wasn’t sure how you’d take it. She’s only a little thing to take on a Grizzly!

Nah! She’s bigger than I am right now. Paul smiled at Liz.

Come sit and have some coffee. Liz said.

He walked to the shelf where the liquor sat and picked up the whiskey decanter.

I don’t think so. Liz said, taking it from him. Coffee is the strongest thing you can have.

He shrugged then went back to the sofa and sat. He refused the coffee.

I always knew she was a bitch, but I can’t believe she did this to you. Carl said.

Does Patti know? Paul asked Liz.

Not yet. Liz smiled.

I’ll tell her. Carl said.

Thanks Bro.

For all the fierce rows they had, some of them coming to blows, Liz looked at the two hulking cowboys being brothers. Both of them over six feet, Paul six feet five and Carl a half inch shorter. Both drop dead, gorgeously handsome. Paul with dark blond hair, where Carl’s hair was much lighter. Their bright blue eyes often betrayed their feelings. They could trade insults with the best of them, but when it came to a crisis, they were brothers. Brothers who had such a strong love for each other, it would take them through anything.

Chapter 3

It was after eleven when they all went off to bed.

Have you had any sleep yet? Liz asked quietly, looking over Paul’s bare chest to the clock that read two forty seven.

Nope. I didn’t expect to. He kissed the top of her head.

You should at least try. She kissed his chest.

I’ve missed thirteen years of their life. How am I gonna make that up?

By being their dad.

What if they don’t want me to?

They can’t change the fact you are their father and have a say in their life now.

I still don’t get why she did it. If she’d told me what she’d done, I would have supported her.

You would have married her?

Yeah. No. I don’t know. She betrayed me. I would probably have been miserable if I had married her. I would have been part of the boys’ life though.

Yeah. Like you are now.

I doubt they know who I am. She probably told them I’m just a guy who’s blood type matches theirs.

I’m not so sure they would accept that.

You’ve met them?

A couple of times. So have the kids.

When?

When we do the kids cancer charity days. She looked up into his face. I thought the looks were coincidence. I saw Stephen and Mikey standing together a couple of weeks ago and there’s a definite resemblance.

He smiled. Obviously the multiple babies bit is me.

Mmm! I told you it’s the Texan sun! Greg was right, you’ve obviously been potent all your life.

"Greg was right