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    Forgive Us Our Debts: A Personal Account of experiencing Bankruptcy and Still Holding on to Faith
    Forgive Us Our Debts: A Personal Account of experiencing Bankruptcy and Still Holding on to Faith
    Forgive Us Our Debts: A Personal Account of experiencing Bankruptcy and Still Holding on to Faith
    Ebook88 pages1 hour

    Forgive Us Our Debts: A Personal Account of experiencing Bankruptcy and Still Holding on to Faith

    By Christl Schwarz

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    About this ebook

    What makes money so powerful; so dangerous? So tantalizing? We crave it, lust for it, steal and cheat for it. Couples fight over it. Marriages end because of it. Friendships die and families stop speaking to each other. It cannot buy health or happiness, and yet the wheels of finance keep turning and the message still rings out loud and clear, "If we only had more money..." Five years ago, Christl Schwarz and her husband filed for bankruptcy. It was and still remains the greatest challenge their marriage has faced. Struggling still to maintain a balance in a world where wants become needs and needs become debts, she endeavours to inspire and help people to gain insight and foresight into our current debt-challenged lives and culture - to see through the lure of having it all, having it right now and to consider the extreme cost of this philosophy.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWord Alive Press
    Release dateJan 4, 2015
    ISBN9781770690622
    Forgive Us Our Debts: A Personal Account of experiencing Bankruptcy and Still Holding on to Faith

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      Forgive Us Our Debts - Christl Schwarz

      Afterword

      Preface

      At the onset of our struggle, I felt compelled to write a journal to chronicle the events of our bankruptcy and record the feelings that went with them. It wasn’t my intention to write a book, but merely to record a copy of myself at that particular time and place—a snapshot of who I was and what I felt during those bleak months—to be taken out of the box and analyzed at a more objective time. It was at the end that I started to feel an uncomfortable nudging to share my experience.

      In 2005 I started the first draft and began to confide in a few select people my intent to write a book to help others go through this process. I felt the Lord’s presence very strongly then to openly express myself and I felt a great surge of energy and excitement. It was all so clear what I should do, what I was meant to do.

      To encourage me, my Pastor gave me a scripture that came to his mind after he read the first part of my book. Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay (Habakkuk 2:2–3). He posed the question to me, Will you be the one to write down the revelation? The Lord indicates that the revelation will come, even if it lingers. If it isn’t you, then someone else will. He encouraged me to be that person, to be obedient to the Lord.

      I thought a lot about what he said and suddenly it seemed I was on a mission. The question rang in my ears, Would I be the one to write it down and run with it? I felt more and more that I was, but instead of feeling honoured, I did what most normal people would do—I shied away from what could be the most rewarding experience of my life.

      I didn’t have the courage to come forward and overcome my pride so I halted my progress, shelved my book, and hid in anonymity. But God kept finding me and prodding me to get on with it. And so, three years later, in obedience to the Lord, I present this book for you to read, for it has lingered long enough.

      Christl E. Schwarz

      Acknowledgments

      I would like to thank my husband and family who lived this story with me, following me through chapter after chapter until we made our own happy ending. I am thankful that they love me enough to stick around for any sequels.

      I thank our Lord and Savior for his patience in dealing with a most reluctant messenger; for touching my heart and enriching my soul and spurring me to action. Sometimes it took a gentle nudge and, at times, a needed shove. I pray always to believe in myself the way he believes in me.

      For I know the plans I have for you...

      to give you a future and a hope.

      Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

      1. The Vision

      I had a vision. Not the kind of vision one always imagines or hears about, with angels or dead relatives or some sort of Hollywood version of spirits; it really was quite different from all of those, but a vision nonetheless.

      My husband, our two sons, and I were on holidays. We had just closed our store because of financial difficulties and escaped to visit relatives on Vancouver Island. As we enjoyed the record hot temperatures and beautiful ocean views, I closed my mind to what lay ahead for us. The uncertainty, my unemployment, and money were all fears I didn’t want to deal with. On our last night as I lay beside my husband, I felt myself drifting to sleep. And then it happened. I had a vision—a forewarning from God.

      I saw a strange picture of a line surrounded by darkness. The line was lit up with what seemed like electrical charges zapping all over like intense energy bouncing around. Somehow I knew this represented a piece of my life. It was evident to me that this piece was part of a larger thread, like when you fly at night on a plane and look down and see a bridge lit up and you know (even if you can’t see it) that there is a highway on either side of the bridge, coming to and leaving it. A voice came to me and said, You are going to have a life-altering experience and it will be very frightening. But don’t be afraid, because in the end it will be a good thing.

      I lay awake in the darkness, suddenly very alert. My heart started pounding as I came to full consciousness. Instinctively, I knew something significant had just happened to me. Of course, it took only moments for my mind to overrule anything my heart had just heard. My first thought had been to wake my husband, but now my mind lectured me. Don’t be silly, it said. What would you tell him—that you had a strange dream warning you of impending doom? Doesn’t he have enough worries without you adding to them? Let him sleep. I looked at him sleeping peacefully. He did have enough worries and I wasn’t going to add to them.

      I felt strangely disturbed and couldn’t sleep.  By now doubt had firmly planted itself and wasn’t going to give up easily. The banter in my brain lobbied back and forth. Did I dream it? But I wasn’t sleeping. Did I imagine it? But it was so strange—why would I imagine my life like that? It was so obvious that tremendous energy was going to happen to me, that someone was telling me, Here is your life—the road you can’t see is where you are now, but you are heading into some major turbulence. Be warned. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was important and that I must remember it. After ages of being awake, I suddenly felt very tired and gave myself to doubt. Since I hadn’t had visions before, or for that matter any religious experiences (what did I know about these things?), I decided to dismiss the entire episode to being half asleep and probably letting worry creep in.

      Yes, that must be it. I yawned and went to sleep.

      The next morning it was the first thing I thought of. It seemed stuck in my mind and heart. It was unlike any dream, imagining, or thought that I had ever experienced. It truly felt like someone was trying to get my attention. I fought the idea and ran and hid from what I knew to be true. God had talked to me! The voice was foreboding but at the same time gentle.

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